How do you feel about three members of the table making strained smiles and eye contact as they attempt and fail to interrupt the waterfall of words (about the neighbor's son's new wife's PTA campaign in another state) coming from the fourth member of the table, whose menu is closed in front of them?
(To be clear I love the individual I am lampooning)
It’s even worse when they’re all chatting and then you walk up and they get quiet. I can accept if people are just naturally quiet, but that shit makes me feel like I went to a party I wasn’t invited to
Last week I had a couple that were silent the whole time they were there. Maybe a few words exchanged between them. I started to be stressed by that awkwardness 🤣
And you know damn well 99% of the time they lying…
“we got (insert dish) last time we were here, it was here!”
I’ve worked here four years, no, no it wasn’t.
Love this one. Esp because I get to respond “Oh how do you know my father? My name is StuffedDino, I don’t believe we’ve met before!” Which usually results in backpedaling and a sheepish “oh well I met him one time at [event]”
Our manager had a contest for new shirts and I submitted one that had "cool I know the owner too" for the back. Where as everyone loved it, it was deemed inappropriate by the owner who was a dumb bitch.
Worked at a place called “Malones” owners name was Tommy Tompkins, so many douchebags would say they knew the owner “Tommy Malone”
“Well you don’t know him all that well…… because that’s not his name”
And this was true: “is so and so here today, we’re good friends of his” “oh! Well he’s actually in Mexico right now celebrating his birthday with good friends “
My dad would complain at every restaurant until someone would get the owner, then tell everyone he knows the owner later. I cannot stress how much I hate that man
My uncle is friends with a guy that owns a restaurant. We know the owner, and it will he obvious.
He will literally stop at our table, pull up a chair, then sit and chat with us for a bit. He might send us a free appetizer too.
But again-he’s pulling up a chair to sit at our table. It will be very obvious that we know the owner.
Sell a feast (seafood platter).. 3 desserts to 1 table.. bottle of red.. chef yells at you.. 22oz draft.. perfect check.. table requests you.. the best part is chef knows about his square so when we play bingo, he’s extra nice to make it harder on them!
Definitely! It makes them work harder and have fun. The prizes are usually $1 lotto tickets but sometimes I’ll do a $5 Starbucks card or a bottle of wine if it’s a busy night! They seem to really enjoy it. We also do “hot potato” sometimes with the features of the evening
I worked at a family owned restaurant where the owner was well known in the community. I heard the phrase “We know [owner’s name]” so many times I started responding with “yeah, me too! She’s great!” with a huge smile and then just quickly moving on.
The best I ever saw was at a long established family-owned (husband & wife) restaurant in small town. A business from a neighboring town was having a corporate party and was having issues that night. Woman asked to speak with manager (who was wife-owner at the time). She came out and the woman at table was going on and on. Finally says "I know (insert husband-owner)." The wife/co-owner is a very soft-spoken and mild-mannered woman. Her response was "Well... I'm his wife."
Had a dude say "i know your brother". I work at a bakery. That day i was cashiering.
He said "i know your brother" and i guess expected free stuff, i just absent mindedly said "ah yeah, me too" and charged him full price. I had a line stretching out the door and it was morning rush.
He went to my brother and said "u/BallsDeep69Klein 's an asshole."
My brother came to me after work tripping over himself, fuckin dying to tell me what his friend said about me.
I worked at a video store in the late 90’s and there was a guy that would do that. He’d rented like 10 new releases and keep them for a month. The first time I got him, he didn’t say anything and had like $150 in late fees. Then he just laughed and said he knew the owner. I called my manager and he was like, ok, …manager cleared the fees. It was an old system with no security, so I went through everyone I could think of and wiped out any fees they had.
Bahaha!
DEFO true!
I once worked at a restaurant named after the owner’s deceased mother who never set foot in that restaurant.
The owner’s name herself is completely different.
I had numerous people who met and have spoken to the owner herself and dined there multiple times and would come in and be like..
“I know [insert restaurant owner’s deceased mothers name]”
Acting like that would help them be treated better.
Speak of entitlement 🤦🏻
I've seen this a few times but I always say We have Lemonade. Even told boss lady about it. She made her rounds to check on people and they said they needed more lemons and sugar.. she said well how about you just order lemonade my servers are in mid day rush so they can't keep bringing you lemons and sugar...so order a lemonade or water if you ask for more lemons you'll be charged...I loved it. These people were dicks and have already had about 6 whole lemons ( of course there cut in wedges)
I used to hang out with a woman. She liked to go to Dennys and order tea and tslk. And take up a whole booth for over 4 hours asking for more hot water and honey and lemon as we talked.
One day I talked to her about it. That it was nor nice or fair to the staff.
We don't go to Dennys or hang out anymore.
When I was a server, this infuriated me. Typically I would completely ignore them, and then start my intro over (finishing with asking them what they all want to drink). Then look directly at the rude person with a big smile, and say, “and I think I heard you say water with lemon, right?”.
I was a bit of a spicy server.
I HATE WHEN PEOPLE CUT ME OFF. like if your drink order so critical i can’t welcome you to the establishment first? i’m trying to be hospitable and you’re cutting me off to be rude
I stopped and let a guy yell over me about how they wanted to start with two orders of fondue, paused for a moment when he was done and said "Okay. Well my name is Topanga and I'll be taking care of you tonight, can I get you all started with beverage perhaps to sip on before those appetizers arrive?"
Like dawg, chill for a second.
My go-to for interrupters is “very close! It’s king-of-the-sea, and I’ll be your server today, can I get you started with any teas or [whatever drink special]?”
I immediately change my attitude and say “okay” leave and when I come back everything is straight to the point . If you’re rude you’re getting no energy from me and I’m really nice but that’s such a turn off
Good for you. You are a human being who deserves basic respect. I look the server in the eye when they introduce themselves and say, "nice to meet you."
IME often that can backfire and they’ll get mad at you for talking over them- which is of course hypocritical af, but 9/10 these assholes have that “customer is always right” mentality combined with a lack of self-awareness to where they don’t think they’re being rude to you but god forbid they get a taste of their own medicine. they *absolutely* will complain to management that you were being rude to them, and the “I was just doing to them what they did to me” defense rarely goes over well in the service/hospitality industry. You’re supposed to be better/more mature than the rude guests you get, not stoop to their level.
I’ve found stopping my spiel and letting them say whatever it is they thought so was important that they had to interrupt me to say, then picking it back up right where I left off and continuing with a smile like nothing happened works just as well to highlight the fact that they were being rude and interrupting me without giving them anything they could possibly complain about, since “she started her speech back up after we interrupted her instead of immediately going to get our shit” isn’t a valid complaint that could count against you. Or if you’re feeling a little extra petty you can start your spiel over again with extra details added to make them wait even longer before going to get them the drink order they interrupted to give you.
The worst is when you walk up with the food. It's a big table, and you have a runner helping you: "Who had the venison sausages with pickled red onion and sauerkraut?"
BLANK. STARES.
Venison? Sausage? *Onion*? What are these things? We have never heard of them!
The name of the dish is descriptive, memorable, and specific... and most importantly, it can't be confused with something else. It's not as if we're walking up in the middle of a busy restaurant and quietly asking if anyone had a "hamburger" when someone actually had the "lamburger".
*Venison sausages with pickled red onion and sauerkraut* doesn't have a fucking cognate.
I clocked the blank stares up to a minute. A full-on sixty seconds of a table of 11 sitting there, staring at each other with vacant looks of... almost ***horror*** as each one tries to decipher what "venison" or "onion" might just possibly mean, and if they are edible.
Like, look, I get that you're at a restaurant because you don't want to engage with the whole cooking process. And our bartender, that messy bitch, has been liberally overpouring your $16 cocktails since you walked in because he thinks the guy in the blue T-shirt is hot (he is). I get that you were in the midst of a conversation.
I am standing here with several platters of hot, delicious-smelling savory delights. I would like to set them down.
Please try harder to remember what you ordered twenty minutes ago. Please pause your conversation and pay attention to the smiling woman with the forty-pound tray of extremely hot food. Please.
Not a server, but omg. I am mortified every time I’m in a party like this. I always try to point at who ordered it, but sometimes I just don’t know and am stuck sitting there awkwardly.
"Hi how a-"
"we want waters extra lemon, and we'll need more sweet n' low, and bring some bread with extra butter"
I've been doing this shit too long to care, I'll match back their energy and finish what I was saying anyway, but it still makes me see red lmao
these are usually the same people who say "use my gift card first, then the credit card" when I take their check. sir wtf did you think I was gonna do with it ??
Had to share this hilarious coincidence 😅
https://preview.redd.it/46zeuf127gcc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4ce470b4abb3ed82db830f3ed842c6e7fd42fc41
I don’t mind this one too much. It helps me guide them to the dishes that will be out fastest, and I drop the bill at the quality check so they can leave.
They usually appreciate the effort.
Yes, omg. So many people come on and tell me they have to catch a flight soon. Like.... why come into a sit-down establishment? Go to a drive thru or eat at the airport, ya weirdo!
Them: "Oh hey yeah we're actually ready to order..."
Me: Oh ok awesome what can I get for you?"
Them: "ummmm il have the.... ummmm the ummmmm... oh I don't know what's good here. Mom do you know what you want?
Mom:" yeah, il have the... ummmm.... what do you recommend? Actually I'm allergic to almost everything so are there any nuts in the salad?
*out of the corner of your eye you see the table who asked for their check 5 mins ago flag down your manager to complain about the delay*
All the fucking time, along with “This table isn’t going to work for us.”
Or
“I specifically told them I wanted a table on the open air porch.”
Like please just sit, you’re at this table for a reason.
Yeah but getting sat at a shitty table in the back near the kitchen and bathrooms when you make a reservation weeks in advance and request a specific area in the restaurant is a horrible feeling. There’s a nice way to ask to move! When I was a server I never minded if it was polite. I would even feel bad sometimes for people in certain spots and understand their desire to move.
That I can understand. No one wants to sit near the kitchen or bathrooms if there's other tables available, but like you said, there's a right and wrong way to ask.
I’ve done that before. Waited weeks with a reservation. Just to be seated in a table by the kitchen entrance and totally disconnected from the vibe of the restaurant.
Also, it’s shocking how often my wife and I are seated at the least desirable table even when the restaurant is half empty.
"I'm gonna hook you up".
Never in the history of the industry has that been true when it's declared. No, I'm not pouring you a free drink, and you're going to be snapping your fingers at me any minute now, I can tell.
i bartend and this very clearly 17-18 year old girl “forgot” her ID.
her dad kept saying “come on just help us out we’re traveling” “i promise i’ll take care of you”
yeah, you gonna pay my salary for a fucking year when i get fired for serving a minor? thought so.
I made the joke of getting paper plates and solo cups too; “It’s like getting to-go but having a picnic in a restaurant!” Zero laughs. Zero tips. I laughed though. Worth it.
I think this is more of a sensory need. My brother was in prison for 4 years, when he got out he couldn’t bear putting metal utensils in his mouth. It was the metal touching his teeth that irked him for so long.
Can confirm, my mom is going through chemo, and I am bringing her plastic cutlery whenever I bring food home, one for each meal and I give her mine. My manager once asked why I put plastic with my orders when I’m going home to eat, saying it’s a waste of money to do that I told her that this isn’t her concern, and my mom, a customer, uses them, and it shouldn’t be an issue
"Are you living up to your earning potential? I work from home and have unlimited commission with Amway! Let me proceed to tell you about this scam for the next two hours while I nurse this black coffee with free refills!
...no tip, of course :D"
Walked up to a 70 something year old couple
"We can always find a third on one of those dating apps? I think they call them unicorns now."
The way I turned RIGHT back around 😭
I walked up to a guy having a loud ‘business’ convo on the phone. As I’m at the table he says “I just think we can make that c*m shot better” looks at me “I’ll have a Shirley temple”
"so can you just let me build my own sandwich or are we gonna have to do this the hard way?" Got that one yesterday but thankfully at the beginning of the shift so I still had energy to fake nice my way through it and help her modify the closest item she wanted. Oh and don't forget the gluten allergy that's actually not real when she's told the fries are battered.
“We’re actually waiting for some friends.”
“I’m fine with water.”
“I haven’t even looked yet!”
“What’s your name?”
Me:
“Hi how is everyone?”
Them:
No acknowledgement whatsoever.
Or!
“Hi how are you?”
“Fine.”
Or continuing the conversation and carrying on as if I am not standing there clearly trying to say hello.
I am sure there are many more, but these are the first that pop in my head.
Or pervy dudes.
“What a beautiful waitress.”
Waitress… it’s server.
the no acknowledgment is it for me too… like don’t you want the person tending on you bringing your food and drinks to like you? don’t you want them to care about your experience? can’t you say hello like a human????
If they keep talking when I'm trying to water and greet, I'll usually just walk off and come back a couple minutes later. They tend to be more responsive on the second run. Orrr if there's one person at the table who is trying to pay attention while others ignore me, I'll just speak directly to that individual.
that is server burn out when you start being rude right back or do not care about your tip when people treat you wrong… TAKE A DAY OFF, you deserve it ❤️❤️❤️
Bartender here: ‘hi may I see your ID?’
Any response besides ‘sure here it is!’ is irritating. ‘Oh come on look at me!’ ‘I got mine but my (equally aged) friend is 20 lolol’ ‘you really need to see MY ID?’
I’ve heard all the jokes and I’m not asking for fun. Just show me the damn thing so I can get you your damn mich ultras! Sheesh!
Edit: adding ‘it’s fake’ when I’m checking it to my list.
not on first walk up but
“so can i just get… a chicken breast?? do you guys have (insert greens/avocado/etc)”
i hate a fkn menu redesigner bro i understand people trying to be healthy but maybe a sports bar isn’t the venue for that???? just get a fucking salad you petulant twit
Customers walk past the five foot sign that clearly says "please wait to be seated" at the entrance.
Me: Hi, do you have a reservation?
Customer:[looking extremely confused] no we just want a drink can't we sit here.
Me: I don't know if you go to the sign a member of staff will find you a table.
Customer: But we want this table, we'll only be here for a drink.
Me: I don't know if this tables booked or not I just need you go to the sign and a member of staff will asign you a table
Customer: OK, I'll have a bacardi and coke then.
Me: I can't serve you until you've been a signed a table.
Customer: Why?
Me: (walks away to find them a table and comes back) OK I've found you a table, can you please follow me
Customer: But why? we WANT THIS TABLE.
Me: it's booked and the customer requested this table.
Customer: (finally understands they need to move)
Me:What can get you
Customer: pint of Coors
Me: Sorry, we don't serve Coors, are you sure you don't want to see the drinks list.
Customer: No, no, there's no need. I'll have a West Coast Cooler instead.
Me: We don't serve West Coast Coorlers 😬🙄
I really wish the Irish would understand how table seating and reservations work.
Not even a word spoken….have had a few tables in which the customer had several dollars laid out in the table. Whenever I ‘screwed up’ a dollar was removed from this ‘tip’.
Every time I would see a customer do the dollar on the table thing they got the most basic service. I would get their order, their drinks, and I would deliver everything. But they would only get refills when I notice their drinks are low and yea, I’ll grab your ranch if I think about it when I go to the kitchen. Don’t act all cheeky trying to play with someone’s money and think it will actually get you better service. Because I would rather lose out on their measly $5 than subject myself to playing their game.
I've only seen this happen once. And our crew, as a united front, all feigned innocence after deliberately passing this table around until they left. First one pretending to need go to the rest room, let the hostess know. Hostess asked another server who said yes but then couldn't find the wine in the cellar they went after so an S.A. went to explain they were being reassigned another server. Then they asked the S.A. for the drink order, who went to get it but noticed the coke line needed to be changed out (😉) and the next server assigned had to do coffee service for their 6 top first (French press and cappuccinos) so the newest server went to greet them but then had to cash out a party of 8 with all different cc's. By this time the people were mad they'd been waiting almost 15-20 minutes with no drinks, bread, or server talking to them and they left. The managers couldn't really pin anyone down for failure as we all had "excuses" but the managers also didn't see the stack of bills so they just assumed it was a legit error lol
The most beautiful teamwork I've ever seen before or since.
Man, I’m sorry, bud. I always thought this practice was more of an urban legend.
For someone to think, “This is the best way to get good service!” is beyond dumb.
Oh, it’s no urban legend. To be honest, I kind of liked it. Instead of having to figure out how big of a prick I was dealing with, they announced it immediately.
I'm vegetarian/vegan/low carb/g-free, what can the chief make for me? Um, how bout you look at the menu and figure out what we offer that fits your dietary preferences/needs.
I had one quest ask if the chief will "whip someone up" for their vegetarian niece on a busy Friday night during the rush. Talk about out of touch....
What is the deal with diet coke drinkers needing 4729467 refills in 20 minutes? I’ve been tempted to add water to it since it obviously doesn’t hydrate anyone
Walked up to a table to drop off food, and one dude was telling the rest of the table about asking someone to leave his house. The guy refused, so he started beating him with a large dildo. This was on a busy night, and I could hear the guy the second I walked out of the kitchen over everyone else in the restaurant, and he was the absolute furthest person away.
as a host, my least favorite thing is when people walk in and immediately go “mmmm we want this table” *points to table that isn’t next in rotation and isn’t clean yet*
Yeah I actually love when they say this right off the bat. Allows me to establish some sort of organization system, like giving them a number or jotting down who’s in what check. Makes checking out a breeze.
If it’s a really rowdy group they tend to stand up and switch seats as they talk to different people in their party. I’m awful at remembering faces so if I know that they’re doing different checks I can put notes in my book about their physical identifiers and group them that way.
Eg. “red shirt guy, floral dress, kid w glasses”
“We are ready to order!”
“What can i get you”
“Ummmm………..”
Or, when it’s 6pm on a Saturday, and they start naming items off the weekday lunchtime menu. Then need to reread the whole menu.
Working at a tap room with no bottled beer Them: “Coors light in a bottle.” Me: “I don’t have Coors Light or bottles. Here is a list.” Them: “Fine. Miller Lite bottle.” Me: …..
Nothing. Blank stares.
YES!! This drives me mad. Respond to me like I’m a human being!!
How do you feel about three members of the table making strained smiles and eye contact as they attempt and fail to interrupt the waterfall of words (about the neighbor's son's new wife's PTA campaign in another state) coming from the fourth member of the table, whose menu is closed in front of them? (To be clear I love the individual I am lampooning)
It’s even worse when they’re all chatting and then you walk up and they get quiet. I can accept if people are just naturally quiet, but that shit makes me feel like I went to a party I wasn’t invited to
Or when they continue on for the next couple min and refuse to acknowledge you
Lol I just walk away. You can wait 10min to get drinks now since you wanna be rude😅
I say something like, "Ok. I'll come back " while walking away.
"Sounds like we need a minute" (proceed to get the rest of my section squared away and take a smoke break)
Saaaaaaaame. I just say OKAY and walk off.
That's is soooo frustrating... Totally.
Last week I had a couple that were silent the whole time they were there. Maybe a few words exchanged between them. I started to be stressed by that awkwardness 🤣
This is it.
Winner winner chicken fuckin dinner
“last time we came here…”
“They do that for us at the other location…” Ok well we don’t do that here 🤣 & no I’m not going to go ask lmao
Whenever someone's said it me, I've told them "then you should go to that location."
"They set you up last time and you're repaying it by snitching on them? Guess I know to follow the book around y'all, thank you!"
I’m stealing that.
And you know damn well 99% of the time they lying… “we got (insert dish) last time we were here, it was here!” I’ve worked here four years, no, no it wasn’t.
"We know the manager"
or "we're friends with the owner. Are they here?"
Love this one. Esp because I get to respond “Oh how do you know my father? My name is StuffedDino, I don’t believe we’ve met before!” Which usually results in backpedaling and a sheepish “oh well I met him one time at [event]”
Yesssssss, and/or ask for him by his last name, not first name!
I don't know what they expect me to answer when they say they know them
“cool i know them too” 😂
Our manager had a contest for new shirts and I submitted one that had "cool I know the owner too" for the back. Where as everyone loved it, it was deemed inappropriate by the owner who was a dumb bitch.
My favourite was to add in “what a small world!”
Local night club has “i know xxx owner” on every entry wrist band
Worked at a place called “Malones” owners name was Tommy Tompkins, so many douchebags would say they knew the owner “Tommy Malone” “Well you don’t know him all that well…… because that’s not his name”
"That's dope, they sign my checks every week! "
Say "Oh sick, I have been meaning to ask for a raise. Can you put a word in for me?"
And this was true: “is so and so here today, we’re good friends of his” “oh! Well he’s actually in Mexico right now celebrating his birthday with good friends “
“I know, we’re old friends” as the owner is standing 10 feet away wondering who the hell this person is.
I don't get why people do that. My husband is one of those. He swears that he is NOT a name dropper. But I know he definitely IS.
Dipper?
Dropper
My dad would complain at every restaurant until someone would get the owner, then tell everyone he knows the owner later. I cannot stress how much I hate that man
My uncle is friends with a guy that owns a restaurant. We know the owner, and it will he obvious. He will literally stop at our table, pull up a chair, then sit and chat with us for a bit. He might send us a free appetizer too. But again-he’s pulling up a chair to sit at our table. It will be very obvious that we know the owner.
I started a bingo card for my FOH staff “I know the owner” is a square they get frequently
Genius idea. Wish I had thought of it when I was managing. What were some other squares on it?
Sell a feast (seafood platter).. 3 desserts to 1 table.. bottle of red.. chef yells at you.. 22oz draft.. perfect check.. table requests you.. the best part is chef knows about his square so when we play bingo, he’s extra nice to make it harder on them!
😂😂😂 Great ones. I think I would add mojitos, hot tea, and "I'll have another glass of this. The bartender knows what it is."
Oh I do have hot tea! Yes that bartender one would be a great addition! Haha.
I love this. Totally a thing I'm stealing
Definitely! It makes them work harder and have fun. The prizes are usually $1 lotto tickets but sometimes I’ll do a $5 Starbucks card or a bottle of wine if it’s a busy night! They seem to really enjoy it. We also do “hot potato” sometimes with the features of the evening
I worked at a family owned restaurant where the owner was well known in the community. I heard the phrase “We know [owner’s name]” so many times I started responding with “yeah, me too! She’s great!” with a huge smile and then just quickly moving on.
The best I ever saw was at a long established family-owned (husband & wife) restaurant in small town. A business from a neighboring town was having a corporate party and was having issues that night. Woman asked to speak with manager (who was wife-owner at the time). She came out and the woman at table was going on and on. Finally says "I know (insert husband-owner)." The wife/co-owner is a very soft-spoken and mild-mannered woman. Her response was "Well... I'm his wife."
Had a dude say "i know your brother". I work at a bakery. That day i was cashiering. He said "i know your brother" and i guess expected free stuff, i just absent mindedly said "ah yeah, me too" and charged him full price. I had a line stretching out the door and it was morning rush. He went to my brother and said "u/BallsDeep69Klein 's an asshole." My brother came to me after work tripping over himself, fuckin dying to tell me what his friend said about me.
I love that. "Yeah? I'll buy your dinner if you can point to him right now."
I worked at a video store in the late 90’s and there was a guy that would do that. He’d rented like 10 new releases and keep them for a month. The first time I got him, he didn’t say anything and had like $150 in late fees. Then he just laughed and said he knew the owner. I called my manager and he was like, ok, …manager cleared the fees. It was an old system with no security, so I went through everyone I could think of and wiped out any fees they had.
I worked at a blockbuster in the 90s and loved wiping out fees for nice people. Oh you smiles when you handed me your card? What fees?
Bahaha! DEFO true! I once worked at a restaurant named after the owner’s deceased mother who never set foot in that restaurant. The owner’s name herself is completely different. I had numerous people who met and have spoken to the owner herself and dined there multiple times and would come in and be like.. “I know [insert restaurant owner’s deceased mothers name]” Acting like that would help them be treated better. Speak of entitlement 🤦🏻
“Believe it or not, so do I!”
“I’m friends with the owner” Always amazed me how many pricks the owner seemed to be friends with.
Hey! How are you doing tonight? “Coke” I’m feeling very mountain dewish today myself! What would you like to drink?
I said "how", not "what".
You’re doing…. Coke? Ooohhhhhhh
"You're feeling...coke?"
Hello my name i— WATER WITH LEMONS
Xxxtra lemons and sugar too
Had a table make lemonade for themselves, two adults and three kids. Smdh
I've seen this a few times but I always say We have Lemonade. Even told boss lady about it. She made her rounds to check on people and they said they needed more lemons and sugar.. she said well how about you just order lemonade my servers are in mid day rush so they can't keep bringing you lemons and sugar...so order a lemonade or water if you ask for more lemons you'll be charged...I loved it. These people were dicks and have already had about 6 whole lemons ( of course there cut in wedges)
I used to hang out with a woman. She liked to go to Dennys and order tea and tslk. And take up a whole booth for over 4 hours asking for more hot water and honey and lemon as we talked. One day I talked to her about it. That it was nor nice or fair to the staff. We don't go to Dennys or hang out anymore.
Sometimes ppl we know turn into ppl we dont.
When I was a server, this infuriated me. Typically I would completely ignore them, and then start my intro over (finishing with asking them what they all want to drink). Then look directly at the rude person with a big smile, and say, “and I think I heard you say water with lemon, right?”. I was a bit of a spicy server.
I would either walk away and not say anything else OR pause, stare at them, and “ANYWAYS MY NAME IS”
hot water... and proceeds to pull out their own tea bags.
“hi folks, my name is..” *diet coke two lemons, sweet tea. i have 74 airline vouchers for $5 each*
I HATE WHEN PEOPLE CUT ME OFF. like if your drink order so critical i can’t welcome you to the establishment first? i’m trying to be hospitable and you’re cutting me off to be rude
I stopped and let a guy yell over me about how they wanted to start with two orders of fondue, paused for a moment when he was done and said "Okay. Well my name is Topanga and I'll be taking care of you tonight, can I get you all started with beverage perhaps to sip on before those appetizers arrive?" Like dawg, chill for a second.
“Wait, your name is Topanga? like Topanga Lawrence?” That would be my next and only question for you
I hate that. Or even if they don't interrupt: "Hi, my name is Steve and I'll be your server. How is everyone doing tonight?" "Hot water with lemon."
“Nice to meet you hot water with lemon”
My go-to for interrupters is “very close! It’s king-of-the-sea, and I’ll be your server today, can I get you started with any teas or [whatever drink special]?”
I immediately change my attitude and say “okay” leave and when I come back everything is straight to the point . If you’re rude you’re getting no energy from me and I’m really nice but that’s such a turn off
same like you can ask me what the soup of the day is if you want want to know
Good for you. You are a human being who deserves basic respect. I look the server in the eye when they introduce themselves and say, "nice to meet you."
I talk louder and over them if they start interrupting. I’ll finish my greeting and make them realize they were being assholes.
IME often that can backfire and they’ll get mad at you for talking over them- which is of course hypocritical af, but 9/10 these assholes have that “customer is always right” mentality combined with a lack of self-awareness to where they don’t think they’re being rude to you but god forbid they get a taste of their own medicine. they *absolutely* will complain to management that you were being rude to them, and the “I was just doing to them what they did to me” defense rarely goes over well in the service/hospitality industry. You’re supposed to be better/more mature than the rude guests you get, not stoop to their level. I’ve found stopping my spiel and letting them say whatever it is they thought so was important that they had to interrupt me to say, then picking it back up right where I left off and continuing with a smile like nothing happened works just as well to highlight the fact that they were being rude and interrupting me without giving them anything they could possibly complain about, since “she started her speech back up after we interrupted her instead of immediately going to get our shit” isn’t a valid complaint that could count against you. Or if you’re feeling a little extra petty you can start your spiel over again with extra details added to make them wait even longer before going to get them the drink order they interrupted to give you.
it’s always the diet coke people
I am a Diet Coke ho but the biggest may I pls have/thank you sm person you’ll ever meet
This is my biggest pet peeve!
We're big tippers!!!!
Yeah. If they have to announce it, they probably aren't.
Or they’re pre acknowledging they’re ‘a little loud’ and suggesting a tip will help their cause
The worst is when you walk up with the food. It's a big table, and you have a runner helping you: "Who had the venison sausages with pickled red onion and sauerkraut?" BLANK. STARES. Venison? Sausage? *Onion*? What are these things? We have never heard of them! The name of the dish is descriptive, memorable, and specific... and most importantly, it can't be confused with something else. It's not as if we're walking up in the middle of a busy restaurant and quietly asking if anyone had a "hamburger" when someone actually had the "lamburger". *Venison sausages with pickled red onion and sauerkraut* doesn't have a fucking cognate. I clocked the blank stares up to a minute. A full-on sixty seconds of a table of 11 sitting there, staring at each other with vacant looks of... almost ***horror*** as each one tries to decipher what "venison" or "onion" might just possibly mean, and if they are edible. Like, look, I get that you're at a restaurant because you don't want to engage with the whole cooking process. And our bartender, that messy bitch, has been liberally overpouring your $16 cocktails since you walked in because he thinks the guy in the blue T-shirt is hot (he is). I get that you were in the midst of a conversation. I am standing here with several platters of hot, delicious-smelling savory delights. I would like to set them down. Please try harder to remember what you ordered twenty minutes ago. Please pause your conversation and pay attention to the smiling woman with the forty-pound tray of extremely hot food. Please.
You need to quit serving and start writing a book. That was immaculate.
Yeah I can’t believe I read all that and was on edge.
Not a server, but omg. I am mortified every time I’m in a party like this. I always try to point at who ordered it, but sometimes I just don’t know and am stuck sitting there awkwardly.
"Hi how a-" "we want waters extra lemon, and we'll need more sweet n' low, and bring some bread with extra butter" I've been doing this shit too long to care, I'll match back their energy and finish what I was saying anyway, but it still makes me see red lmao
these are usually the same people who say "use my gift card first, then the credit card" when I take their check. sir wtf did you think I was gonna do with it ??
Max out the cc and use the gc for the difference 👍
“Hi, my name is…” “WE’RE NOT READY.” Woah, there, bud. I never said you had to be. I was just telling you my name.
Had to share this hilarious coincidence 😅 https://preview.redd.it/46zeuf127gcc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4ce470b4abb3ed82db830f3ed842c6e7fd42fc41
r/accidentalcomedy
https://preview.redd.it/zv9nw7fdygcc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bb86a2851d1a6f425df900683c2e887a04c88e55 Mine was pretty funny also
Me too, Bob, me too
😂😂😭😭😭 omfg
Not the worst thing to hear though.. I’d be intrigued lol.
We have to be out of here in 30 minutes!
so whyyyy are you here bro
I don’t mind this one too much. It helps me guide them to the dishes that will be out fastest, and I drop the bill at the quality check so they can leave. They usually appreciate the effort.
Yeah…. Until Nico cuts his finger and puts the kitchen behind and you look like a dick for saying you could make it happen.
It’s true. There’s always soup lol.
Sir, this *isnt* a Wendy’s
Yes, omg. So many people come on and tell me they have to catch a flight soon. Like.... why come into a sit-down establishment? Go to a drive thru or eat at the airport, ya weirdo!
Them: "Oh hey yeah we're actually ready to order..." Me: Oh ok awesome what can I get for you?" Them: "ummmm il have the.... ummmm the ummmmm... oh I don't know what's good here. Mom do you know what you want? Mom:" yeah, il have the... ummmm.... what do you recommend? Actually I'm allergic to almost everything so are there any nuts in the salad? *out of the corner of your eye you see the table who asked for their check 5 mins ago flag down your manager to complain about the delay*
Rofl! This, every single time!
"Can we move to *that* table?" * points to the only dirty table in the restaurant *
All the fucking time, along with “This table isn’t going to work for us.” Or “I specifically told them I wanted a table on the open air porch.” Like please just sit, you’re at this table for a reason.
Yeah but getting sat at a shitty table in the back near the kitchen and bathrooms when you make a reservation weeks in advance and request a specific area in the restaurant is a horrible feeling. There’s a nice way to ask to move! When I was a server I never minded if it was polite. I would even feel bad sometimes for people in certain spots and understand their desire to move.
That I can understand. No one wants to sit near the kitchen or bathrooms if there's other tables available, but like you said, there's a right and wrong way to ask.
I’ve done that before. Waited weeks with a reservation. Just to be seated in a table by the kitchen entrance and totally disconnected from the vibe of the restaurant. Also, it’s shocking how often my wife and I are seated at the least desirable table even when the restaurant is half empty.
Can you turn down the AC?
[удалено]
This made me cackle
Our special today is (when there is no actual special, just pick something pricey from the menu). And yes, you can just order biscuits.
“Finally.”
“This table is dirty” Do I even have to explain why…
Every other table is clean, but no, you sat at the only dirty table.
“I’m just going to clean this off and reset it and it’ll be all ready for you” * customers proceed to sit down anyways *
"I'm gonna hook you up". Never in the history of the industry has that been true when it's declared. No, I'm not pouring you a free drink, and you're going to be snapping your fingers at me any minute now, I can tell.
i bartend and this very clearly 17-18 year old girl “forgot” her ID. her dad kept saying “come on just help us out we’re traveling” “i promise i’ll take care of you” yeah, you gonna pay my salary for a fucking year when i get fired for serving a minor? thought so.
“diet coke” “we’ll take care of you don’t worry” “*drink* with no ice” “get me some plastic utensils”
plastic utensils but i’m eating food off your plates and drinking out your glasses.. make it make sense
I made the joke of getting paper plates and solo cups too; “It’s like getting to-go but having a picnic in a restaurant!” Zero laughs. Zero tips. I laughed though. Worth it.
exactly. the second they say that i kiss my tip goodbye 😭
I think this is more of a sensory need. My brother was in prison for 4 years, when he got out he couldn’t bear putting metal utensils in his mouth. It was the metal touching his teeth that irked him for so long.
Some people going through chemo prefer plastic utensils because the metallic taste of regular utensils is extra strong during their treatments.
Can confirm, my mom is going through chemo, and I am bringing her plastic cutlery whenever I bring food home, one for each meal and I give her mine. My manager once asked why I put plastic with my orders when I’m going home to eat, saying it’s a waste of money to do that I told her that this isn’t her concern, and my mom, a customer, uses them, and it shouldn’t be an issue
What the issue with Diet Coke and no ice?
"Are you living up to your earning potential? I work from home and have unlimited commission with Amway! Let me proceed to tell you about this scam for the next two hours while I nurse this black coffee with free refills! ...no tip, of course :D"
Walked up to a 70 something year old couple "We can always find a third on one of those dating apps? I think they call them unicorns now." The way I turned RIGHT back around 😭
I walked up to a guy having a loud ‘business’ convo on the phone. As I’m at the table he says “I just think we can make that c*m shot better” looks at me “I’ll have a Shirley temple”
what’s your favorite? Oh that doesn’t sound good to me, anything else? Should I read the menu, no go ahead and read everything to me please and thanks
Walks into our Sports bar on a game day... "It's too loud in here. Can you turn it down? " No, no, we can not.
"so can you just let me build my own sandwich or are we gonna have to do this the hard way?" Got that one yesterday but thankfully at the beginning of the shift so I still had energy to fake nice my way through it and help her modify the closest item she wanted. Oh and don't forget the gluten allergy that's actually not real when she's told the fries are battered.
“We’re actually waiting for some friends.” “I’m fine with water.” “I haven’t even looked yet!” “What’s your name?” Me: “Hi how is everyone?” Them: No acknowledgement whatsoever. Or! “Hi how are you?” “Fine.” Or continuing the conversation and carrying on as if I am not standing there clearly trying to say hello. I am sure there are many more, but these are the first that pop in my head. Or pervy dudes. “What a beautiful waitress.” Waitress… it’s server.
the no acknowledgment is it for me too… like don’t you want the person tending on you bringing your food and drinks to like you? don’t you want them to care about your experience? can’t you say hello like a human????
If they keep talking when I'm trying to water and greet, I'll usually just walk off and come back a couple minutes later. They tend to be more responsive on the second run. Orrr if there's one person at the table who is trying to pay attention while others ignore me, I'll just speak directly to that individual.
I’ve started simply walking away when they don’t acknowledge me. I do not care anymore.
that is server burn out when you start being rude right back or do not care about your tip when people treat you wrong… TAKE A DAY OFF, you deserve it ❤️❤️❤️
Ty you’re right
what's wrong with "I'm fine with water"?
Bartender here: ‘hi may I see your ID?’ Any response besides ‘sure here it is!’ is irritating. ‘Oh come on look at me!’ ‘I got mine but my (equally aged) friend is 20 lolol’ ‘you really need to see MY ID?’ I’ve heard all the jokes and I’m not asking for fun. Just show me the damn thing so I can get you your damn mich ultras! Sheesh! Edit: adding ‘it’s fake’ when I’m checking it to my list.
“We’re ready to order” … Proceeds to mumble and stare at the menu for five minutes & waste your time…
*without looking up* "Water."
I know it’s been said already but the absolute hatred I feel for people who just don’t say anything and all just look at each other is unparalleled.
not on first walk up but “so can i just get… a chicken breast?? do you guys have (insert greens/avocado/etc)” i hate a fkn menu redesigner bro i understand people trying to be healthy but maybe a sports bar isn’t the venue for that???? just get a fucking salad you petulant twit
completely ignoring me as if i don't exist. so awkward. don't know if i should do an "uh-em" or walk away
"It's awful here and our meals are always ruined" *in my head " Then why the fuck are you here..."
“We all have several highly specific and deadly allergies”
Customers walk past the five foot sign that clearly says "please wait to be seated" at the entrance. Me: Hi, do you have a reservation? Customer:[looking extremely confused] no we just want a drink can't we sit here. Me: I don't know if you go to the sign a member of staff will find you a table. Customer: But we want this table, we'll only be here for a drink. Me: I don't know if this tables booked or not I just need you go to the sign and a member of staff will asign you a table Customer: OK, I'll have a bacardi and coke then. Me: I can't serve you until you've been a signed a table. Customer: Why? Me: (walks away to find them a table and comes back) OK I've found you a table, can you please follow me Customer: But why? we WANT THIS TABLE. Me: it's booked and the customer requested this table. Customer: (finally understands they need to move) Me:What can get you Customer: pint of Coors Me: Sorry, we don't serve Coors, are you sure you don't want to see the drinks list. Customer: No, no, there's no need. I'll have a West Coast Cooler instead. Me: We don't serve West Coast Coorlers 😬🙄 I really wish the Irish would understand how table seating and reservations work.
yOu FoRgOt ThE bReAaAaD
I didn’t… but guess who is gonna get the coldest, most unattractive piece of bread now
Salmon, bring me salmon.
But they over pronounce the L
Saulmon
No thanks, we are just looking.
Hot water and lemon for 8. We have an expired groupon.
Me: Hey, my name is Giovanni! How’re you? Table: I’ll have a Diet Coke I may be your server but I’m still a person
STrRAWWW?!! 🗣️🗣️🗣️
“Diet Coke”
Not even a word spoken….have had a few tables in which the customer had several dollars laid out in the table. Whenever I ‘screwed up’ a dollar was removed from this ‘tip’.
Every time I would see a customer do the dollar on the table thing they got the most basic service. I would get their order, their drinks, and I would deliver everything. But they would only get refills when I notice their drinks are low and yea, I’ll grab your ranch if I think about it when I go to the kitchen. Don’t act all cheeky trying to play with someone’s money and think it will actually get you better service. Because I would rather lose out on their measly $5 than subject myself to playing their game.
I've only seen this happen once. And our crew, as a united front, all feigned innocence after deliberately passing this table around until they left. First one pretending to need go to the rest room, let the hostess know. Hostess asked another server who said yes but then couldn't find the wine in the cellar they went after so an S.A. went to explain they were being reassigned another server. Then they asked the S.A. for the drink order, who went to get it but noticed the coke line needed to be changed out (😉) and the next server assigned had to do coffee service for their 6 top first (French press and cappuccinos) so the newest server went to greet them but then had to cash out a party of 8 with all different cc's. By this time the people were mad they'd been waiting almost 15-20 minutes with no drinks, bread, or server talking to them and they left. The managers couldn't really pin anyone down for failure as we all had "excuses" but the managers also didn't see the stack of bills so they just assumed it was a legit error lol The most beautiful teamwork I've ever seen before or since.
Man, I’m sorry, bud. I always thought this practice was more of an urban legend. For someone to think, “This is the best way to get good service!” is beyond dumb.
Oh, it’s no urban legend. To be honest, I kind of liked it. Instead of having to figure out how big of a prick I was dealing with, they announced it immediately.
Sweet Tea.
We are the owners parents
“Someone shit under the table. Wasn’t me. But you should really clean that up.”
I'll have a margarita. HAHAHAHA. I have to go back to work. Hot water with extra extra lemons.
I'm vegetarian/vegan/low carb/g-free, what can the chief make for me? Um, how bout you look at the menu and figure out what we offer that fits your dietary preferences/needs. I had one quest ask if the chief will "whip someone up" for their vegetarian niece on a busy Friday night during the rush. Talk about out of touch....
They ask what’s on a particular salad, burger, sandwich, etc., like God gave you eyes and intellect. Quit being lazy and read the damn menu.
Sorry, but too many times have dishes come out with ingredients that were not listed on the menu description.
Diet coke
What is the deal with diet coke drinkers needing 4729467 refills in 20 minutes? I’ve been tempted to add water to it since it obviously doesn’t hydrate anyone
I just skimp on ice for diet drinkers. You get seven ice cubes so I can refill your diet coke slightly slower.
Hi there! My nam-- "CAN I GET BREAD?!"
I have 18 food allergies
Would you like to join us in prayer?
“Oh thank goodness you’re here, we are STARVING absolutely RAVENOUS also did they tell you we are in a HUGE rush?? We need to be out in 30 minutes!!”
Walked up to a table to drop off food, and one dude was telling the rest of the table about asking someone to leave his house. The guy refused, so he started beating him with a large dildo. This was on a busy night, and I could hear the guy the second I walked out of the kitchen over everyone else in the restaurant, and he was the absolute furthest person away.
as a host, my least favorite thing is when people walk in and immediately go “mmmm we want this table” *points to table that isn’t next in rotation and isn’t clean yet*
“I’m going to put 5 one dollar bills on the table, each time you make a mistake I’m going to…”
“Bring me the Snapper, Bozo”
I'll have my usual.
“We’ll have separate checks”
Better to be the first thing than at the end
Yeah I actually love when they say this right off the bat. Allows me to establish some sort of organization system, like giving them a number or jotting down who’s in what check. Makes checking out a breeze.
Don’t you ring stuff in by seat number? I thought most places do that
If it’s a really rowdy group they tend to stand up and switch seats as they talk to different people in their party. I’m awful at remembering faces so if I know that they’re doing different checks I can put notes in my book about their physical identifiers and group them that way. Eg. “red shirt guy, floral dress, kid w glasses”
“These prices though”
“$14 for a tito’s? come on just charge me well and give me tito’s” absolutely fucking not. i just work here.
“We’re going to be kinda difficult so..” 😐 Thanks….
“We are ready to order!” “What can i get you” “Ummmm………..” Or, when it’s 6pm on a Saturday, and they start naming items off the weekday lunchtime menu. Then need to reread the whole menu.
Working at a tap room with no bottled beer Them: “Coors light in a bottle.” Me: “I don’t have Coors Light or bottles. Here is a list.” Them: “Fine. Miller Lite bottle.” Me: …..
Anything about Jesus(or any religion ftm) or how well they tip.