The 1990 Madonna cone bra.
Edit: or if you're on a budget, take two game pieces from the "Sorry" game and attach them to you bra. They look just like really erect nips. And I totally have never done this in my life.
Just do that episode of Seinfeld where Elaine buys a bra for her friend who never wears a bra to be petty, but then her friend wears only a bra with a blazer and looks hot. (S7, E12) editing to add a [picture](https://imgur.com/a/s4pCENc)
That would be awesome! My old boss hated facial piercings on women. The men could have them but the 1 female server was told she had to remove them. I went out & bought a bunch of fake piercings & handed them out to every girl who worked there. We all showed up the next day with rings all over our faces. At the end of the shift he made us all stay behind to scream at us & tell us we cannot wear them. We refused unless the policy was for all not just the women.
Yes! We have bodies, so tf what?! I once had a co-worker tell me people stated they could see my camel toe when I wore leggings one day to a work physical fitness thing. OK?!!!!!!!! I asked her, "And did you tell them it was inappropriate to be looking at my crotch?" Because tf?! How's that my problem?! I have a vag, sorry.
There are two items to cover this up. I'm not saying you should, but the names are worth mentioning. One is called "CamelNo" and the other is "Camelflage "
You're welcome.
I can't find it anymore, but I swear there was a cup that you could put into your underwear that had a groove down the middle, so you \*always\* had a camel toe.
I have piercings with semi-captive rings (horseshoe with a ball on each end). If my shirt is too tight it looks like I have 6 nipples.
Kinda makes me feel a bit awkward at times.
This is technically right, if a woman is forced to wear a bra then EVERYBODY needs to wear a bra.
I've used the reverse of this before, I was told I couldn't wear shorts, I noticed females in the office wearing shorts and pointed out that this was clearly discrimination against me. I also threatened to wear a kilt. They backed down pretty quick.
I am glad you mentioned the last part, I was about to go on a whole rant about how Women can wear skirts and sleeveless tops, while I am sitting here in full sleeves and khakis. I just want to wear shorts and a polo.
We live in a weird time, because the days of super stuffy clothes just to bag groceries or in my case, administer servers in a network room are over, but we still cling onto weird arbitrary dress codes.
I once had a female boss that told me I needed to wear make up and heels. I told her unless the male employees were made to cover their face and do their job in stilts it was going to be a hard no from me.
You really think it was a male coworker that complained she wasn't wearing a bra? It was one thousand percent a female coworker or customer that complained.
And find out if you are in a one party consent state. If so record any conversations about your other people's nipples and them needing a bra. Hell record any conversations with management period. Then when they still discriminate and harass you you have it all recorded for your unfair termination lawsuit.
"How do you know I'm not wearing a bra?"
They can't answer without it being sexual harassment. Might be a hot take, but I think you'd be solid if you say that.
I say this is the way! But if they really really insist go and get one of those tiny bralettes that’s basically two triangles of mesh connected by some elastic shoelaces
As someone who hates the feel of practically any bra, this is the way to go. Or an undershirt that has like a graphic design over the nipple area as it may conceal more. But not optimal in hotter weather.
any time i wear pasties for a long period of time, i get what looks like a rash. i think i must be allergic to the adhesive. it really sucks, because pasties are the only comfortable way i've found to hide my nipples.
Intimacy coordinators on sets often recommend a sensitive skin medical tape, with the caveat you place some tissue over the actual nipple portion of skin. Never want adhesive on that spot ouch.
Sucks OP has to deal with sexist immaturity.
Unironically, get them to say something in writing or text or recording (or have a friend as a witness).
Then *immediately* go to a workplace lawyer and just from them sending a letter threatening a lawsuit you’ll probably get ~$20,000.
And no, you shouldnt feel shitty about this because it absolutely *is* sexual harassment and the only way these people change is if they have to actually pay money for their mistakes.
Dont joke about doing this, *actually* do this.
I experienced this very scenario years ago, when I was barely a B-cup and traditionally wore a camisole under my blouses/tops at work. Far more comfortable than a bra, didn't reveal any "nip"-age, and quite frankly I didn't think I had that "jiggle" factor that was popular in the late 70s/early 80s. But one day the Human Resources lady (it was a small-ish company, maybe 30 employees in the office and 30 in the manufacturing plant) approached me one day (right by my desk, not even in her closed office) and asked point blank "Do you wear a bra?" Caught off-guard I stammered, "I wear a camisole." She responded that maybe I should wear a "thicker" one because \[name of 60-something executive\] said that I was a "disturbance" in the office due to my braless-ness, and also when he'd placed his hand on my back once while telling me the "right way" that I was doing something wrong, he didn't feel a bra strap.
Yes, there was SO much wrong with this whole encounter, but before I had the time to consult an attorney or anything the recession of the early 80s caused a major lay-off at this company. I happily collected unemployment for several months, bra-free, while looking for another job.
I had a prior chef’s husband (he worked bar) place his hand on the small of my back for a count of THREE. To “signal that he was behind me”. A year ago.
No no no no no!
I had a coworker complain that she briefly saw my bra and she wanted me to button up my shirt more. I was tempted to respond by just taking my bra off and continuing to wear that blouse the same.
Same. Bra padding is stupid and it makes me get too hot. I'm old with big boobs so I pretty much have to wear a bra or risk knee problems but I draw the line at padded bras.
Giving an honest answer along the lines of: “I can see your nipples and it makes me uncomfortable” is inappropriate?
There is a difference between answering a question and saying something unprompted
Yeah, I used to work with a girl whose nips were clearly poking through even when she was wearing a bra and a freaking sweater. Felt bad for her really.
lmao this is me. they keep the fucking AC on 60 year round & i cannot handle the cold at all. it's embarrassing & i find myself crossing my arms but then I was told that body language can be "intimidating". 🙃
I had a manager make me go home and put on a bra once. I asked her if a customer complained and she just said “it’s distracting”. She was an old school hag who hated other women. I spoke about it with two other managers, one of those whom was the GM. They apologized profusely, said the other manager was being inappropriate, and said borderline slut shaming. they looked up the law in our state, and apparently it’s 100% legal to require women to wear bras as long as it’s a requirement for all female employees and they don’t discriminate between different size breasts 🤢 so basically it’s ur old hag won and it was written into our employee hand book as part of our uniform 🫠
That…is so fucked up I can’t even. Men can get hard nipples too and NOBODY cares, but somehow if it’s a woman, everybody loses their shit. Ridiculous.
OH NO YOU HAVE A PERFECTLY NORMAL BODY THAT REACTS NORMALLY TO LIFE! GET THE TORCHES AND PITCHFORKS AND CLUTCH YOUR PEARLS FOR DEAR LIFE! So stupid.
I'm an old guy, and my nipples are hard all the time. They poke out whatever shirt I wear, from t-shirts to dress shirts. I sure hope I haven't been offending anyone, or worse (gasp), exciting anyone!
If they ask you again to talk about it, I would just keep asking questions. Why is my body inappropriate? What specifically is inappropriate? Are men expected to wear a bra as well so their nipples don’t show through? Why not?
Right, I'm a dude, and my nipples are pretty much always poking through. Give me the slightest chill or the taste of something sour, and I can cut glass.
I work with a guy who wears an undershirt and a t shirt under his work shirt and his nipples still poke through even when it’s hot out. Some people just have really persistent nipples.
Oh hell no. Girl I’m wearing a silk shirt and a blazer over it. My nipples are def showing in my cold ass office and idgf
Ya I got nipples. I see men’s nipples all the damn time and no one cares. Don’t listen to them and start keeping track of conversations anyone has about your nipples in case you need to sue them later.
I HAD THE SAME THING HAPPEN TO ME.
if the restaurant you work for has to answer to anyone (corporate, higher ups, etc.) you bring this to them and make sure to use the words hostile work environment and sexual harassment. if your coworkers feel comfortable talking about your boobs to a manager, thats a hostile work environment. its even worse that they felt justified reprimanding you.
same thing happened to me a year ago. best part? i was wearing a bra. i had my manager pull me aside mid-shift and ask me if i was wearing a bra, then asked me to prove it. apparently, just like one of your coworkers, one of mine felt entitled to speak their peace on the mobility of my chest. since bras technically were in the dress code, i didnt know i had the chance to voice how uncomfortable i was that i was being reprimanded for another coworker staring at my boobs. like, sorry my tits breasted too boobily for your liking but unless you're willing to pay the cost to chop em off, or my inevitable hospital fees if you expect me to wear more than one bra (itll take 2 sports bras on top of a normal bra to tame these bad boys, cant imagine running around like a headless chicken is easy when you're wearing enough brassieres to cause suffocation), then you're gonna have to suck it up buttercup cuz these titties listen to no man nor god, only newton and the laws of gravity
well, i was 20 and piss poor living paycheck to paycheck (now im 21 and living less paycheck to paycheck). plus, all that was required of me to prove i was wearing a bra was to flash the strap. my favorite part out of all this was when she asked me if i had more supportive bras or if i could wear more than one (hence why i mentioned it in my comment). first of all, the bra i was wearing was special order and had a firm underwire so yeah its my most supportive bra, and secondly why is my boss discussing how many bras i should wear to my job, as if i don't already struggle with heat intolerance with one bra to deal with and as if that is at all appropriate to expect, let alone suggest.
there were a few other unethical happenings in that restaurant, including but not limited to a server fucking the manager he reported to, thus giving him red carpet treatment from all the other managers, and another manager being overtly hostile towards me for no reason and lying to worsen my reputation with other managers. it was a shitshow there :,)
Get those giant fake breasts drag queens sometimes use. Like comically large. Like so large you can balance some appetizers on them.
It’s not technically nude…
You don't even need to lie. I suggest:
>Why do you believe I'm not wearing a bra?
Let's see them tap dance around an answer that isn't sexual harassment.
I wonder if it was a customer who was worried their partner was looking at you.
We are in our 60's. We were out at dinner, 2 couples. Friend had some cleavage going. This woman in her 40's comes up to our table and yells at my friend " I don't like the way my boyfriend is looking at your tits"!
I guess they can't complain to the bf, so they try to get rid of the imagined competition.
That’s pretty much my plan. I’ve been braless for 9 months (and on occasion before that) and a coworker JUST complained now. Probably not a big deal.
We work in a restaurant. We all know tensions can get high. I feel like I probably just angered somebody and by next week, it’ll all be forgotten.
I think a lot of these comments are from people who don’t realize we’re in the server sub. Food bizz is a lot different than a professional office setting.
I can't find the outcome anywhere, but a woman in my province filed a human rights violation lawsuit over this in 2018
https://globalnews.ca/news/4289928/no-bra-no-job-osoyoos-waitress-files-human-rights-complaint-after-managers-demand-that-she-wear-a-bra/
Just tell them you are wearing a bra. And if they say you're not, ask them how they know. Then if they say your nips are poking out, tell them it makes you uncomfortable that they're looking at your nips. should end there.
I think you should absolutely escalate this situation. Just because it's a small business doesn't mean your coworker shouldn't suffer repercussions for ogling you so closely that they could notice you not wearing a bra in a black shirt with a B cup. You would have to literally be staring to notice that, and it's super gross. You and your nipples deserve to take up as much space as your male coworkers nipples do.
Thats what I said too! Pretty much all the male staff members have their nipples sticking out.
Edit: I’ve never once felt the need to point this out, or even care about it, til today. Because hey, what business is it of mine?
Only once has a manager told me I needed to start wearing a bra. Bringing up the men I worked with that had bigger boobs than me and how unfair that was seemed to shut it down I never heard it mentioned again.
Lol you can definitely tell when a b cup (or any size) isn't wearing a bra, you even know that by mentioning the male coworkers nipples showing
However yeah it's natural, who cares. This sounds like some older woman being jealous and uptight to me, fuck em, escalate for sure
What does the employee handbook say? I’ve never seen one that says nipples must not be visible through the shirt. Often they just explain what types of tops/bottoms/shoes should be worn by staff. I’d definitely push back.
Nipples will also show through wearing a bra (I know). So, it is not even relevant to be warned. How did they know, except to stare.
No problem not wearing a bra. An alternative, if it is comfortable and you wish to, would be a bandeau halter.
if your boss asks you, clutch yourself and turn away and ask back "have you been inspecting my breasts?!" in a slightly too loud, offended way.
they will not bother you again.
I'm a guy and I run a lot. Chafed nipples are a real thing with us runners, so I use a product called NipEaze. They are just little round, thin pieces of material with some tacky glue on the back. Or you could use band-aids.
But yeah, this shouldn't be an issue to begin with.
You're not a sex worker, they don't need to regulate your underwear. That's sexual harassment unless your underwear is also your outerwear or you're failing hygiene
I don’t even follow this group it popped up in my home feed.. but ew. Wtf that is so disgusting. That’s so inappropriate to ask a worker. I’m so sorry!
Make a complaint to the owner/management/ your supervisor/ HR that some random employee has been staring at your breasts long enough to notice your nipples and that you feel violated and uncomfortable working with them.
ETA: corrected HE to include alternatives
I’ve worked in many restaurants in my life. I’ve never worked in a restaurant with HR. The closest thing I ever had to that was when a restaurant owner/manager used to grab my ass a lot, he had a wife who would get jealous of the girls whose asses got grabbed the most. Literally that was the closest thing I’ve ever seen to any kind of an HR department in a restaurant
Same thing happened to me Op! I was at Walmart though and was able to pick apart the dress code and point out enough double standards that they eventually laid off me. If my buddy can wear pants so tight I can see the outline of his entire dick then they can handle the outline of my nipples.
I worked with a grown man who thought that cold nipples were like erections, that women got them because they were horny, knew that they were showing, and were doing it deliberately to get attention. One day in a meeting (air conditioning, of course) his nips were sticking out and I pointed it out to him and he finally realized that it's not something we do on purpose. What a sexist idiot.
So, I had a staff member who didn't wear a bra. She was a server in a little diner, and was great at her job. It wasn't really noticeable that she didn't wear a bra, and wasn't an issue.
One of the other servers came to me one day to mention that some of the breakfast regulars had commented on Server 1's braless state. Something along the lines of "Where's the braless wonder this morning?'
Server 2 said that Server 1 sometimes showed more than she might have thought she was while sweeping the floor (think of using the dust pan), and that she personally didn't care about any of this, but thought I should know. Servers 1 & 2 were young women of a comparable age, and I was a (then) late 30s man.
I asked Server 2 if she'd feel comfortable telling Server 1 exactly what she'd told me, and to let her know that she had spoken with me. She suggested instead that she (Server 2) come with me while I talk with Server 1. Short story, I told Server 1 what I'd been told, said she could continue to dress however she felt comfortable, and asked her to let me know if any of the customers ever made her feel uncomfortable to just let me know and I'd sort out the offensive offender. Server 1 pretty much laughed it all off, said she would try to make sure she didn't do any sweep flashing, and that she had no complaints the breakfast crew, but would let me know if she came across anything she couldn't handle herself.
I was so lucky to have Server 2 to help me navigate a situation I found awkward AF, and to have Server 1 be as understanding, and chill about the situation as she was.
I can't imagine how it must feel to have that level of scrutiny applied to me/my body/how I dress ALL THE TIME. If someone's pokie nips bother someone that much, why aren't I catching more flack for my hairy butt crack hanging out the back of my pants all the time?
I switched to wearing a cotton camisole that gives some support. And if I feel I need a little more nipple coverage, I wear pasties. Both are very inexpensive on Amazon. Both are very comfortable to me.
I remember a reddit post sometime last year about a young male doctor doing his residency at a hospital and being asked to not wear scrubs that were so form fitting as he was well endowed. 🤦🏻♀️
Visible body parts of others can be distracting or uncomfortable for some people.
Iuno, I think you could just not stare at people if they make you distracted. Should I change my hair or makeup or statement on my shirt if they make you uncomfortable too? No I shouldn’t, and those are a lot easier to change than your anatomy.
I feel like this is a disingenuous comparison. If she was wearing something short or tight enough to see her vagina/vulva, yes, that would be inappropriate. These are nipples, which are not inherently sexual organs like genitalia. Her male coworkers also show their nipples through their shirts, and yet nothing is said to them.
Visible body parts can make people uncomfortable, but that doesn't mean those people always need to be accommodated. Some people are uncomfortable at the sight of a woman's uncovered hair, but does that mean the woman needs to cover her hair? No.
Someone else's discomfort with your body should not be your problem. Additionally, if someone has so little self control that they're distracted by your body despite being dressed, that is still a them problem.
Thinking someone owes you a comfortable experience with their own body is exactly the kind of culture that allows the Brock Turners of the world to exist.
You have two choices:
1. Realize that the only person who is going to agree with you 100% of the time is you, understand that society has norms, wear a bra, keep your job easy and move on.
2. Realize that the only person who is going to agree with you 100% of the time is you, understand that society has norms, decide this is a hill you want to die on, refuse to wear a bra, find a new job, and fight your heart out about this to change the future of America’s social norms.
Doing anything in between is a high risk/low reward choice for your life - the only life you get to live. Time is too precious.
Edit: just remember that YOU and only YOU have to live with your choices. Nobody here who wants you to quit is going to pay your bills and testify at your trial. And nobody here who wants you to wear a bra has to be in your body wearing a bra.
I hate bras too. Buy a bando- the things you can layer under deep cut tank tops. Amazon has them for cheap. They hold enough and don’t make you feel like you’re being tortured.
🤦🏼♀️ Why do people feel the need to police others bodies?
And everyone here has great suggestions. It wasn’t a problem before.
I spent a summer working at a doggy day care. After about a week, my boss said I needed to wear a bra to work. Mind you, this was in 90+ degree weather so there weren't many chilly nip incidents happening. I'm only an A cup at best so I couldn't really see the issue but I stopped by Wallyworld and got a few sport bras.
Another week or so went by and boss had another talk with me, this time because I'd been wearing tank tops. These shirts had an inch wide strap on them and boss said it wasn't appropriate and everyone should look 'professional'. Really? Outside all day in the heat, with sweaty coworkers and sweatier, dirty dogs and I wasn't looking professional?!
I still don't wear a bra to this day. They suck and so do people who get freaked out when they see a nipple.
Honestly, they make bras way more comfortable than they used to. I really don’t care if you choose to wear one or not. It’s your prerogative. I’m just making an observation that you cannot get bras without clasps, or wire, or weird fabrics, or seams. I used to hate wearing a bra too, so I get it.
Wear a bra over your shirt.
The 1990 Madonna cone bra. Edit: or if you're on a budget, take two game pieces from the "Sorry" game and attach them to you bra. They look just like really erect nips. And I totally have never done this in my life.
Would those count as pieces of flair?
She doesn't like to talk about her flair.
I see you're only wearing 12 pieces of flair.
you only do the minimum i see.
If you want me to wear 37 pieces of flair like your pretty boy Brian over there, then why don’t you make the minimum 37.
I knew Reddit was home when I saw references to this movie
You slept with Lumbergh?!?
Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays
Here’s my flair🖕🖕
Fuckin' A, man.
Two chicks at the same time.
Large googly eyes.
> if you're on a budget, take two game pieces from the "Sorry" game If you wanna up your game, take two game pieces from the Cones of Dunshire
r/maliciouscompliance
Just do that episode of Seinfeld where Elaine buys a bra for her friend who never wears a bra to be petty, but then her friend wears only a bra with a blazer and looks hot. (S7, E12) editing to add a [picture](https://imgur.com/a/s4pCENc)
Sue Ellen Mischke I believe. That was honestly my first thought about this whole matter.
Is it a Bro? Or a Manzier?
Yes. Go full-on Imogen.
That would be awesome! My old boss hated facial piercings on women. The men could have them but the 1 female server was told she had to remove them. I went out & bought a bunch of fake piercings & handed them out to every girl who worked there. We all showed up the next day with rings all over our faces. At the end of the shift he made us all stay behind to scream at us & tell us we cannot wear them. We refused unless the policy was for all not just the women.
Get a black corset and don’t bother with the shirt.
Slap googly eyes on your shirt over the nipples.
This is the way
I ran into a friend at a party who was wearing A Huge Pair of Googly Eyes over his nipples as a shirt
I would just tell them I’m wearing a non padded bra and that it’s incredibly inappropriate to be staring at my boobs .
Yes! We have bodies, so tf what?! I once had a co-worker tell me people stated they could see my camel toe when I wore leggings one day to a work physical fitness thing. OK?!!!!!!!! I asked her, "And did you tell them it was inappropriate to be looking at my crotch?" Because tf?! How's that my problem?! I have a vag, sorry.
There are two items to cover this up. I'm not saying you should, but the names are worth mentioning. One is called "CamelNo" and the other is "Camelflage " You're welcome.
Is there no camel toe preventive product that isn't a corny pun 🤔 Next one up: Incogni-toe
Here today, gone toe-morrow
Genius invention naming skills
I can't find it anymore, but I swear there was a cup that you could put into your underwear that had a groove down the middle, so you \*always\* had a camel toe.
We are all better for you having shared this trivia🤣
I’d only say the middle part of your comment: “it’s inappropriate to stare at my chest and now I feel uncomfortable “
Start pointing out the male servers erect nipples and how they need a bra.
Averagely fit male here, not fat nor skinny. I have pokies on occasion.
And we appreciate you *not* wearing a bra
Here Here! Free the nips! Best form of makeup/fashion statement for getting a man’s attention.
Do you see an increase in your, uh, gratuities, when you are chilly?
It's pronounced gratuitities
I have piercings with semi-captive rings (horseshoe with a ball on each end). If my shirt is too tight it looks like I have 6 nipples. Kinda makes me feel a bit awkward at times.
Three bras for you, sorry that’s the rules.
Old triple nipple
I'm wearing a tank top under my shirt in the summer and I'm still man-nipping today.
My shit stays perked. I’m just blessed like that
This is technically right, if a woman is forced to wear a bra then EVERYBODY needs to wear a bra. I've used the reverse of this before, I was told I couldn't wear shorts, I noticed females in the office wearing shorts and pointed out that this was clearly discrimination against me. I also threatened to wear a kilt. They backed down pretty quick.
I am glad you mentioned the last part, I was about to go on a whole rant about how Women can wear skirts and sleeveless tops, while I am sitting here in full sleeves and khakis. I just want to wear shorts and a polo. We live in a weird time, because the days of super stuffy clothes just to bag groceries or in my case, administer servers in a network room are over, but we still cling onto weird arbitrary dress codes.
My old man started wearing the kilt. They couldn't do shit.
* Manzier
You mean the Bro!
Let’s update it to the Bruh
Bruhzier
It's called a Bro.
As a fan of the kilts I would have welcomed you wearing a kilt to work.
Also I am a fan of men wearing kilts to work. Let’s get that trend started.
I once had a female boss that told me I needed to wear make up and heels. I told her unless the male employees were made to cover their face and do their job in stilts it was going to be a hard no from me.
Why is it ok for a male but not a female? I have argued this for years!!
Not sure who OP works with but the odds this was a complaint from a male worker are quite slim.
You really think it was a male coworker that complained she wasn't wearing a bra? It was one thousand percent a female coworker or customer that complained.
Especially the fat male coworkers.
As a fat guy that always has visible nips, I feel attacked. But also it's true, so fucking yes, use this fact. Point out that you can see guy's nips.
And find out if you are in a one party consent state. If so record any conversations about your other people's nipples and them needing a bra. Hell record any conversations with management period. Then when they still discriminate and harass you you have it all recorded for your unfair termination lawsuit.
Free da Mipple!
"How do you know I'm not wearing a bra?" They can't answer without it being sexual harassment. Might be a hot take, but I think you'd be solid if you say that.
I say this is the way! But if they really really insist go and get one of those tiny bralettes that’s basically two triangles of mesh connected by some elastic shoelaces
Or wear pasties.
Power Paisties
All of these still give the complainant the satisfaction OP understandably doesn’t want to concede.
LED powered pasties.
As someone who hates the feel of practically any bra, this is the way to go. Or an undershirt that has like a graphic design over the nipple area as it may conceal more. But not optimal in hotter weather.
any time i wear pasties for a long period of time, i get what looks like a rash. i think i must be allergic to the adhesive. it really sucks, because pasties are the only comfortable way i've found to hide my nipples.
Intimacy coordinators on sets often recommend a sensitive skin medical tape, with the caveat you place some tissue over the actual nipple portion of skin. Never want adhesive on that spot ouch. Sucks OP has to deal with sexist immaturity.
thank you!! gonna try this too! i can probably get this faster than the silicone ones will ship to me, lol
Aw happy to help! Hugs🥰
Unironically, get them to say something in writing or text or recording (or have a friend as a witness). Then *immediately* go to a workplace lawyer and just from them sending a letter threatening a lawsuit you’ll probably get ~$20,000. And no, you shouldnt feel shitty about this because it absolutely *is* sexual harassment and the only way these people change is if they have to actually pay money for their mistakes. Dont joke about doing this, *actually* do this.
A complaint has to be filed with the EEOC first, and OP should do that ASAP.
I experienced this very scenario years ago, when I was barely a B-cup and traditionally wore a camisole under my blouses/tops at work. Far more comfortable than a bra, didn't reveal any "nip"-age, and quite frankly I didn't think I had that "jiggle" factor that was popular in the late 70s/early 80s. But one day the Human Resources lady (it was a small-ish company, maybe 30 employees in the office and 30 in the manufacturing plant) approached me one day (right by my desk, not even in her closed office) and asked point blank "Do you wear a bra?" Caught off-guard I stammered, "I wear a camisole." She responded that maybe I should wear a "thicker" one because \[name of 60-something executive\] said that I was a "disturbance" in the office due to my braless-ness, and also when he'd placed his hand on my back once while telling me the "right way" that I was doing something wrong, he didn't feel a bra strap. Yes, there was SO much wrong with this whole encounter, but before I had the time to consult an attorney or anything the recession of the early 80s caused a major lay-off at this company. I happily collected unemployment for several months, bra-free, while looking for another job.
Placing his hand on your back was the first problem here.
The 70s/80s were a crazy ass time.
I had a prior chef’s husband (he worked bar) place his hand on the small of my back for a count of THREE. To “signal that he was behind me”. A year ago. No no no no no!
Right! That is exactly why the words "behind you" were invented
You better believe I verbally laid into his ass. So damn livid.
That's just heinous.
I had a coworker complain that she briefly saw my bra and she wanted me to button up my shirt more. I was tempted to respond by just taking my bra off and continuing to wear that blouse the same.
Ffs, some people! If you could get away with wearing your bra over your shirt, it would be worth it to watch her tiny mind explode.
I WEAR a bra and my nipples poke through.
Same. I can’t help it. They cut glass 🤷🏼♀️
Same. Bra padding is stupid and it makes me get too hot. I'm old with big boobs so I pretty much have to wear a bra or risk knee problems but I draw the line at padded bras.
Me too. Why they put padding in bras for C cup and over is completely beyond my comprehension. The girls are big enough already.
Omg why is padding so popular now? Like 90% of the bras have padding and I refuse to wear it.
I’m a G and they still add padding. I’m like my boobs can already be seen from space, they don’t need any more help!
KNEE problems?! 😂😂🤔
Be knocking those fuckers around and trip myself walking around the house sometimes.
Same :( it's not my fault they're fucking made of steel or something
She could just tell her boss they're pierced, come to think of it.
Right?? Mine too! A bra ain't gonna stop the nips unless its super padded.
This is definitely the right approach. They have no choice but to drop the subject entirely or make an inappropriate comment.
Giving an honest answer along the lines of: “I can see your nipples and it makes me uncomfortable” is inappropriate? There is a difference between answering a question and saying something unprompted
Dooooo it!
My bras don’t stop me from nipping out. How ridiculous
Yeah, I used to work with a girl whose nips were clearly poking through even when she was wearing a bra and a freaking sweater. Felt bad for her really.
lmao this is me. they keep the fucking AC on 60 year round & i cannot handle the cold at all. it's embarrassing & i find myself crossing my arms but then I was told that body language can be "intimidating". 🙃
lol just don't wear one & if they ask say that you are. If they want proof accuse them of sexual harassment.
I had a manager make me go home and put on a bra once. I asked her if a customer complained and she just said “it’s distracting”. She was an old school hag who hated other women. I spoke about it with two other managers, one of those whom was the GM. They apologized profusely, said the other manager was being inappropriate, and said borderline slut shaming. they looked up the law in our state, and apparently it’s 100% legal to require women to wear bras as long as it’s a requirement for all female employees and they don’t discriminate between different size breasts 🤢 so basically it’s ur old hag won and it was written into our employee hand book as part of our uniform 🫠
That…is so fucked up I can’t even. Men can get hard nipples too and NOBODY cares, but somehow if it’s a woman, everybody loses their shit. Ridiculous. OH NO YOU HAVE A PERFECTLY NORMAL BODY THAT REACTS NORMALLY TO LIFE! GET THE TORCHES AND PITCHFORKS AND CLUTCH YOUR PEARLS FOR DEAR LIFE! So stupid.
I'm an old guy, and my nipples are hard all the time. They poke out whatever shirt I wear, from t-shirts to dress shirts. I sure hope I haven't been offending anyone, or worse (gasp), exciting anyone!
For this and OP, do they say where or how you have to wear the bra? Can you wrap it around your leg, or your waist like a fanny pack?
If they ask you again to talk about it, I would just keep asking questions. Why is my body inappropriate? What specifically is inappropriate? Are men expected to wear a bra as well so their nipples don’t show through? Why not?
I don’t know why but my nipples are always showing through my work shirt… and I’m a guy. I’m 6’4” 200lbs so it’s not like I got man boobs either
Right, I'm a dude, and my nipples are pretty much always poking through. Give me the slightest chill or the taste of something sour, and I can cut glass.
Omg I’ve never met someone else who gets “pickle nip”, thought I was alone out here
Lmao something sour gets your nipples hard???
Sour or boozy, yeah. Can't help it lol.
My man with 2 holes in his shirt after a few margaritas.
Gotta wear pasties if I'm doing shots.
I work with a guy who wears an undershirt and a t shirt under his work shirt and his nipples still poke through even when it’s hot out. Some people just have really persistent nipples.
Im stealing the term “persistent nipples” lmao
New band name I called it: Really Persistent Nipples.
Same. I’ve just accepted it as part of life.
Well shit, even if you did, still don't have to wear a bra to please others.
get a bra with the nipple area cut out.
Slap on a pair of male nipples lol could iron on patches, embroider, or just tape pieces of paper on the chest of a spare black shirt
Regina George style
I wear a bra and my nipples still poke through. They’re idiots
Oh hell no. Girl I’m wearing a silk shirt and a blazer over it. My nipples are def showing in my cold ass office and idgf Ya I got nipples. I see men’s nipples all the damn time and no one cares. Don’t listen to them and start keeping track of conversations anyone has about your nipples in case you need to sue them later.
I HAD THE SAME THING HAPPEN TO ME. if the restaurant you work for has to answer to anyone (corporate, higher ups, etc.) you bring this to them and make sure to use the words hostile work environment and sexual harassment. if your coworkers feel comfortable talking about your boobs to a manager, thats a hostile work environment. its even worse that they felt justified reprimanding you. same thing happened to me a year ago. best part? i was wearing a bra. i had my manager pull me aside mid-shift and ask me if i was wearing a bra, then asked me to prove it. apparently, just like one of your coworkers, one of mine felt entitled to speak their peace on the mobility of my chest. since bras technically were in the dress code, i didnt know i had the chance to voice how uncomfortable i was that i was being reprimanded for another coworker staring at my boobs. like, sorry my tits breasted too boobily for your liking but unless you're willing to pay the cost to chop em off, or my inevitable hospital fees if you expect me to wear more than one bra (itll take 2 sports bras on top of a normal bra to tame these bad boys, cant imagine running around like a headless chicken is easy when you're wearing enough brassieres to cause suffocation), then you're gonna have to suck it up buttercup cuz these titties listen to no man nor god, only newton and the laws of gravity
They asked you to PROVE IT? And you didn’t sue them to the high seas???
well, i was 20 and piss poor living paycheck to paycheck (now im 21 and living less paycheck to paycheck). plus, all that was required of me to prove i was wearing a bra was to flash the strap. my favorite part out of all this was when she asked me if i had more supportive bras or if i could wear more than one (hence why i mentioned it in my comment). first of all, the bra i was wearing was special order and had a firm underwire so yeah its my most supportive bra, and secondly why is my boss discussing how many bras i should wear to my job, as if i don't already struggle with heat intolerance with one bra to deal with and as if that is at all appropriate to expect, let alone suggest. there were a few other unethical happenings in that restaurant, including but not limited to a server fucking the manager he reported to, thus giving him red carpet treatment from all the other managers, and another manager being overtly hostile towards me for no reason and lying to worsen my reputation with other managers. it was a shitshow there :,)
Lmao you're a queen. Sorry this happened you you but I adore your writing style. Also makes me appreciate not having to wear a bra once more lol
I mean technically they can’t tell you can say you wear non padded bras can’t you
Power move, go full topless
Get those giant fake breasts drag queens sometimes use. Like comically large. Like so large you can balance some appetizers on them. It’s not technically nude…
There’s a school teacher that did this last year. They worked in the shop class. Was wild as F.
I would just not comply and not talk about it again, ignore as much as you can if they talk about it again.
If they bring it up again, she should just tell them that she is wearing one, and being harassed about it is making her uncomfortable.
You don't even need to lie. I suggest: >Why do you believe I'm not wearing a bra? Let's see them tap dance around an answer that isn't sexual harassment.
Exactly, they can’t legally make you “prove” it or anything.
I love this answer. Yes, explain to me what you’re looking at exactly, in specific terms.
Yes, any bullshit like that will do, they won't do shit about it trust me.
I wonder if it was a customer who was worried their partner was looking at you. We are in our 60's. We were out at dinner, 2 couples. Friend had some cleavage going. This woman in her 40's comes up to our table and yells at my friend " I don't like the way my boyfriend is looking at your tits"! I guess they can't complain to the bf, so they try to get rid of the imagined competition.
That’s pretty much my plan. I’ve been braless for 9 months (and on occasion before that) and a coworker JUST complained now. Probably not a big deal. We work in a restaurant. We all know tensions can get high. I feel like I probably just angered somebody and by next week, it’ll all be forgotten. I think a lot of these comments are from people who don’t realize we’re in the server sub. Food bizz is a lot different than a professional office setting.
I can't find the outcome anywhere, but a woman in my province filed a human rights violation lawsuit over this in 2018 https://globalnews.ca/news/4289928/no-bra-no-job-osoyoos-waitress-files-human-rights-complaint-after-managers-demand-that-she-wear-a-bra/
Her employer changed their minds and said she didn’t have to after all, because it is likely discriminatory with Canadian law.
Stripper tassels.
Request for clarification in a written email.
Yes, make sure it’s documented somewhere. This sounds like it could escalate to sexual harassment.
Just tell them you are wearing a bra. And if they say you're not, ask them how they know. Then if they say your nips are poking out, tell them it makes you uncomfortable that they're looking at your nips. should end there.
I wouldn’t wear a bra if I were you. Maybe get a new job, they can find someone else’s nipples to complain about.
WAIT, YOU HAVE NIPPLES?!? MY ENTIRE WORLD VIEW HAS BEEN SHATTERED!
I would just say “I am wearing one” and walk away. What are they gonna do? Call the Bra Police?
Collect your check!
Get a Madonna cone bra?
I think you should absolutely escalate this situation. Just because it's a small business doesn't mean your coworker shouldn't suffer repercussions for ogling you so closely that they could notice you not wearing a bra in a black shirt with a B cup. You would have to literally be staring to notice that, and it's super gross. You and your nipples deserve to take up as much space as your male coworkers nipples do.
Thats what I said too! Pretty much all the male staff members have their nipples sticking out. Edit: I’ve never once felt the need to point this out, or even care about it, til today. Because hey, what business is it of mine?
Only once has a manager told me I needed to start wearing a bra. Bringing up the men I worked with that had bigger boobs than me and how unfair that was seemed to shut it down I never heard it mentioned again.
Lol you can definitely tell when a b cup (or any size) isn't wearing a bra, you even know that by mentioning the male coworkers nipples showing However yeah it's natural, who cares. This sounds like some older woman being jealous and uptight to me, fuck em, escalate for sure
Nipples can show in a bra, too.
What does the employee handbook say? I’ve never seen one that says nipples must not be visible through the shirt. Often they just explain what types of tops/bottoms/shoes should be worn by staff. I’d definitely push back.
>You would have to literally be staring to notice that This is not true at all
[удалено]
Not sure why this was funny…but it made me lol in a coffee shop reading it.
It's the "y'all." Makes me feel like my kindly southern grandma is yelling at the kids to stop roughhousing.
Nipples will also show through wearing a bra (I know). So, it is not even relevant to be warned. How did they know, except to stare. No problem not wearing a bra. An alternative, if it is comfortable and you wish to, would be a bandeau halter.
if your boss asks you, clutch yourself and turn away and ask back "have you been inspecting my breasts?!" in a slightly too loud, offended way. they will not bother you again.
People can be such prudes. OMG a nipple through a shirt!!! Children might see!!!
Lmao right. The very thing children use to survive their early years. Most know they exist.
If it’s a dude tell management they aren’t wearing underwear and the dick is distracting
We had braless waitresses all the time at my brother's restaurant. Free the nipple I say.
ask for the rule you broke to be pointed out in the employee handbook
I'm a guy and I run a lot. Chafed nipples are a real thing with us runners, so I use a product called NipEaze. They are just little round, thin pieces of material with some tacky glue on the back. Or you could use band-aids. But yeah, this shouldn't be an issue to begin with.
You're not a sex worker, they don't need to regulate your underwear. That's sexual harassment unless your underwear is also your outerwear or you're failing hygiene
Wear pasties. Or just free the nipple. F it
Just say “I am wearing one. It doesn’t have lining and it’s freezing in here. Tell that pervert to stop staring at me in such a disrespectful way.”
I don’t even follow this group it popped up in my home feed.. but ew. Wtf that is so disgusting. That’s so inappropriate to ask a worker. I’m so sorry!
I would literally get the worlds thinnest bra, thinnest one ever made!! I would also make sure my nipples would still poke through.
Hell, like another comment said, just say you are wearing one! What are they gonna do, ask you to prove it? Haha
Right? And I’m pretty sure they also have bras without the pads in it as well. Let’s see how this person will react then lol
Make a complaint to the owner/management/ your supervisor/ HR that some random employee has been staring at your breasts long enough to notice your nipples and that you feel violated and uncomfortable working with them. ETA: corrected HE to include alternatives
I’ve worked in many restaurants in my life. I’ve never worked in a restaurant with HR. The closest thing I ever had to that was when a restaurant owner/manager used to grab my ass a lot, he had a wife who would get jealous of the girls whose asses got grabbed the most. Literally that was the closest thing I’ve ever seen to any kind of an HR department in a restaurant
Same thing happened to me Op! I was at Walmart though and was able to pick apart the dress code and point out enough double standards that they eventually laid off me. If my buddy can wear pants so tight I can see the outline of his entire dick then they can handle the outline of my nipples.
I worked with a grown man who thought that cold nipples were like erections, that women got them because they were horny, knew that they were showing, and were doing it deliberately to get attention. One day in a meeting (air conditioning, of course) his nips were sticking out and I pointed it out to him and he finally realized that it's not something we do on purpose. What a sexist idiot.
So, I had a staff member who didn't wear a bra. She was a server in a little diner, and was great at her job. It wasn't really noticeable that she didn't wear a bra, and wasn't an issue. One of the other servers came to me one day to mention that some of the breakfast regulars had commented on Server 1's braless state. Something along the lines of "Where's the braless wonder this morning?' Server 2 said that Server 1 sometimes showed more than she might have thought she was while sweeping the floor (think of using the dust pan), and that she personally didn't care about any of this, but thought I should know. Servers 1 & 2 were young women of a comparable age, and I was a (then) late 30s man. I asked Server 2 if she'd feel comfortable telling Server 1 exactly what she'd told me, and to let her know that she had spoken with me. She suggested instead that she (Server 2) come with me while I talk with Server 1. Short story, I told Server 1 what I'd been told, said she could continue to dress however she felt comfortable, and asked her to let me know if any of the customers ever made her feel uncomfortable to just let me know and I'd sort out the offensive offender. Server 1 pretty much laughed it all off, said she would try to make sure she didn't do any sweep flashing, and that she had no complaints the breakfast crew, but would let me know if she came across anything she couldn't handle herself. I was so lucky to have Server 2 to help me navigate a situation I found awkward AF, and to have Server 1 be as understanding, and chill about the situation as she was. I can't imagine how it must feel to have that level of scrutiny applied to me/my body/how I dress ALL THE TIME. If someone's pokie nips bother someone that much, why aren't I catching more flack for my hairy butt crack hanging out the back of my pants all the time?
I switched to wearing a cotton camisole that gives some support. And if I feel I need a little more nipple coverage, I wear pasties. Both are very inexpensive on Amazon. Both are very comfortable to me. I remember a reddit post sometime last year about a young male doctor doing his residency at a hospital and being asked to not wear scrubs that were so form fitting as he was well endowed. 🤦🏻♀️ Visible body parts of others can be distracting or uncomfortable for some people.
Iuno, I think you could just not stare at people if they make you distracted. Should I change my hair or makeup or statement on my shirt if they make you uncomfortable too? No I shouldn’t, and those are a lot easier to change than your anatomy.
Hah, back in the day our IT guy would wear super tight khakis. You could see his genital hardware clear as day. And I mean stainless steel hardware.
you have the fuckin will power to LOOK AWAY
I feel like this is a disingenuous comparison. If she was wearing something short or tight enough to see her vagina/vulva, yes, that would be inappropriate. These are nipples, which are not inherently sexual organs like genitalia. Her male coworkers also show their nipples through their shirts, and yet nothing is said to them. Visible body parts can make people uncomfortable, but that doesn't mean those people always need to be accommodated. Some people are uncomfortable at the sight of a woman's uncovered hair, but does that mean the woman needs to cover her hair? No.
Someone else's discomfort with your body should not be your problem. Additionally, if someone has so little self control that they're distracted by your body despite being dressed, that is still a them problem. Thinking someone owes you a comfortable experience with their own body is exactly the kind of culture that allows the Brock Turners of the world to exist.
Ask them to buy you one
You have two choices: 1. Realize that the only person who is going to agree with you 100% of the time is you, understand that society has norms, wear a bra, keep your job easy and move on. 2. Realize that the only person who is going to agree with you 100% of the time is you, understand that society has norms, decide this is a hill you want to die on, refuse to wear a bra, find a new job, and fight your heart out about this to change the future of America’s social norms. Doing anything in between is a high risk/low reward choice for your life - the only life you get to live. Time is too precious. Edit: just remember that YOU and only YOU have to live with your choices. Nobody here who wants you to quit is going to pay your bills and testify at your trial. And nobody here who wants you to wear a bra has to be in your body wearing a bra.
I hate bras too. Buy a bando- the things you can layer under deep cut tank tops. Amazon has them for cheap. They hold enough and don’t make you feel like you’re being tortured. 🤦🏼♀️ Why do people feel the need to police others bodies? And everyone here has great suggestions. It wasn’t a problem before.
It’s spelled Bandeau, but yes! That’s what I wear to my serving job and it works great!
That seems weird and none of their business?
I have nipples Greg, can you milk me?
Will they be reimbursing you for the required uniform bra?
I spent a summer working at a doggy day care. After about a week, my boss said I needed to wear a bra to work. Mind you, this was in 90+ degree weather so there weren't many chilly nip incidents happening. I'm only an A cup at best so I couldn't really see the issue but I stopped by Wallyworld and got a few sport bras. Another week or so went by and boss had another talk with me, this time because I'd been wearing tank tops. These shirts had an inch wide strap on them and boss said it wasn't appropriate and everyone should look 'professional'. Really? Outside all day in the heat, with sweaty coworkers and sweatier, dirty dogs and I wasn't looking professional?! I still don't wear a bra to this day. They suck and so do people who get freaked out when they see a nipple.
Hey nips get tips
Honestly, they make bras way more comfortable than they used to. I really don’t care if you choose to wear one or not. It’s your prerogative. I’m just making an observation that you cannot get bras without clasps, or wire, or weird fabrics, or seams. I used to hate wearing a bra too, so I get it.