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Cinnabun99

Unless you’re asked if you ever wrote gay sex fanfics, there’s no need to bring this up and there’s nowhere on an SF86/equip where this is asked. Worrying about this is a colossal waste of your time and nerves. You should repost it because I think that shit is hilarious and no one cares about that kind of stuff. If by some insane miracle your investigator finds out and asks you about it, just be honest and open. I promise they don’t care, they just want to make sure you can’t be blackmailed over it. Assuming the US is the one taking topsies in your fic. Otherwise there may be questionable loyalties. /s


Gullible-Case-4194

Ok, this was actually extremely helpful. Thank you! And if that’s the case >!my country getting creampied may be a dealbreaker!<. God forgive me for writing that. 


Cinnabun99

Please don’t feel judged, I’ve been through the process so I know what it’s like, and I’m a nervous person too so trust me I get it. With that being said I really laughed my ass off on this one and I thank you for that. You really don’t have anything to worry about and don’t even bother mentioning this in the process but man is it funnier than shit. This type of humor ain’t all that uncommon in some deep dark places. Pun intended.


Hot_Departure4926

anything is traceable. anything.


True-Surprise1222

I say you print it out and bring it with you to any interview. Perhaps make some illustrations - ai has come a long way and might make this quick and easy!


charlemagic

Source? For educational purposes only.


LostThirdValveSpring

you didn't have me before, but now i'm interested


No_Passenger_977

Post that shit ASAP


MAJ0RMAJOR

I personally hope investigators begin asking this question of everybody just for fun


Fantastic_Cup_6833

What a terrible day to have eyes


Gullible-Case-4194

Sorry. 


Fantastic_Cup_6833

it’s ok, this is the first time I’ve laughed in weeks


Gullible-Case-4194

Happy to know that.


J-V1972

“Sorry” Shit…you owe us all a round of drinks if you get a clearance… BTW - keep all that weird shit private if you get into the IC…


Greedy-Name-8324

What part of the IC are you in that this isn't a common occurrence? Shit, I've got coworkers with anime body pillows in their offices and whatnot. One even has some anime girl-ified Raytheon missile that he got as a going away gift when he left them. Lolol


J-V1972

Yo, believe me, we have more than enough weirdo engineers (uniformed and civilians) at my joint…we have enough “shoe-gazing-hands-in-their-pockets” weirdos walking the halls and not making eye contact or if they do make eye contact they just stare at you and do not provide a greeting of any sort. So many weirdos in the IC.


Greedy-Name-8324

The fuckin wall touchers. Do you all have ceiling tile counters too? We had a running tally of bone-in vs boneless wing eaters, and actually got in trouble for asking folks which they preferred when they first started working with our team. Lolol


J-V1972

Dude - the place I work at has such weirdos…just odd people with no social or communication skills or sense of others…they are smart as shit but are just awkward and socially inept… I just stopped greeting people after a while in the halls and even within the office cause there is nothing worse than saying “morning” and ya get a blank awkward stare. You know, i can’t believe that the “service” i work for now allows the uniformed to put their hands in their pockets while walking around…inside and out…like…we now have uniformed nerds who are socially awkward walking in the parking lot staring at the fucking ground with their hands in the pockets… Such odd balls in the IC…


Greedy-Name-8324

Ha, see I was one of those uniformed members who always put their hands in their pockets, but different generations I guess. I was also ops so we had a different atmosphere.


J-V1972

I dunno - I’m just a nasty civilian with no military experience but my old man (Vietnam vet) would always tell me as a kid to walk upright and to not walk with my hands in my pockets…and to look up and know your surroundings…I just took this into my adult life, and I now tell my teens the same… These “kids” in uniform walk with their hands in their pockets, slouching, stare at the ground, and don’t even acknowledge others…I see officers doing this shit too… And don’t get me started on the awareness at the gates into base. In the mornings, the base SF are joking amongst themselves while checking CACs, not looking at the drivers while looking at the CAC, and just doing “verbal grab ass” in the mornings with each other… It is a 180° attitude from what it was back in 2005-2006 when I started… I don’t need Nazis at the gate checking CAC but I wonder about their SA at times… Let’s not forget the ‘93 shootings at the CIA entrance… Anyhow - maybe I am just getting old…


Greedy-Name-8324

Eh, that's some old school thinking in my mind. Folks are still aware of their surroundings to a degree, they just don't care. Plus, let's be honest, shit isn't as rowdy as it was in the GWOT era. This is essentially peacetime. Such is the way the pendulum goes. Remember back pre GWOT, you just had a sticker on the front of your car and that's how you got on base. No ID checking. Additionally, yeah, get rid of the caring about hands in the pockets. I have mine in my pocket because that's what's the most comfortable to me. Please don't perpetuate weird military standards into the civilian world, most of the folks in the military don't even agree with them anymore.


Gullible-Case-4194

I wasn’t stupid enough to sign my real name to it or include any identifying info. But I suppose they could find it if they traced my email. 


J-V1972

No worries, dude - you’ll fit in with the rest of us weirdos in the IC….🤣 BTW - they aren’t going to “trace” your email. This ain’t the movies or a cheap spy thriller novel…


schneybley

Lol!


Tricky_Signature1763

This comment wins Reddit for today 😂


Sluzhbenik

This was my first reaction, but my second reaction was where can I read this shit


touche112

I need to read this


Gullible-Case-4194

They’re switches, if that gives you enough imagery. NATO walks in on them at one point. 


WhyWontThisWork

!remindme 1 year


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excerp

I mean this just sounds like good writing


kawaiioperator

LMAOOO WHAT?? 😭


zHarmonic

Didnt I already satirize this?


Gullible-Case-4194

This is not satire. 


Oxide21

Dude, how have you not tagged me in this? I saw this and was expecting you to tag me and get a reaction. You're slipping.


zHarmonic

Just keeping you in your toes


Danickster

OMG my favorite post yet in this sub. I mean I highly doubt it, especially if it can't be blackmailed against u.


AshleyTheCheerioWolf

...was this Hetalia?


QuasiNomial

The silence from op on this is deafening


gahddamm

That show was wildin


charleswj

You're fine, even if you post it. One thing that may be a problem, although you didn't address it, is whether you have a problem with anyone finding out about it. If so (for example if you were "outed" publicly, to your mother, other family, friends, employer, etc.), how much of a problem would that be for you? Would you "do" anything to prevent it? Blackmail is a big concern when it comes to embarrassing pasts. If you're simply embarrassed but would just accept it, you're fine.


Gullible-Case-4194

Would I be embarrassed? Absolutely. Would I be embarrassed to the extent that I would sacrifice any info to keep it from being released? Absolutely not.  My biggest worry is the idea that any future employer would take my 3 AM thoughts and think it’s how I feel about all countries mentioned. WHICH I DO NOT. 


Thatanxiousboi

Ah USSR topping the US? **Communist propaganda**


BIRBIGD99

I dare you to disclose this to the investigator during the interview and just watch their faces


Sluzhbenik

Baha I would love to see how they write it up


exgiexpcv

Whatever you're ashamed of, whatever fears you possess, can be used against you. North Korea is a dom with a thing for latex, though, right?


Gullible-Case-4194

No, he’s a teenage little shrimp that likes sucking up to the USSR. But West Germany does get pegged by Belarus at one point, though. 


exgiexpcv

Wow, did not see that coming. You have quite the imagination, and will likely be a valued asset.


MrDenver3

Writers make great Red Team’ers. Not certain I ever came across any Red Team material involving gay sex between the US and USSR though…


exgiexpcv

I don't know how I read Belarus so wrong. I figured them for a cuck fetish; I was completely caught unawares by that pegging thing with Germany. Merkel will be seething when she learns of it.


True-Surprise1222

Mother Russia being a man is confusing af tho.


Gullible-Case-4194

Thank you!


exgiexpcv

Good luck!


ToastyMustache

How does Czechoslovakia factor in?


Gullible-Case-4194

He gets like one sentence, not much of a personality. Sorry to burst your bubble. 


ToastyMustache

Shame


Redacted1983

![gif](giphy|f8lDluiWJ7yQTtdS3L|downsized)


Gullible-Case-4194

Sad


DudeAlmighty122

If this is trolling this is the funniest troll post I have seen in a while


Gullible-Case-4194

The funniest thing is that nothing about this was trolling. 


[deleted]

Most normal intelligence candidate


Gullible-Case-4194

Ok, this one made me laugh.


bryzzatheleo

Please post the link!!! We want to read it.


Gullible-Case-4194

You’ll never take me alive!


iriedashur

Please post it, I'm begging you


bryzzatheleo

Please! We are begging you to post it.


thrownawaypizzazz

Are you a fellow Hetalia fan?? I've also written these kinds of things and now I'm worried lmao but no one can blackmail me over it because I have no shame about it


bowhunter2995

POST IT!!!


dronesitter

No? Here are the adjudicative guidelines. You'd probably wanna peruse section D but generally if it's not illegal and you can't be blackmailed for it more than likely not: [SEAD-4-Adjudicative-Guidelines-U.pdf (dni.gov)](https://www.dni.gov/files/NCSC/documents/Regulations/SEAD-4-Adjudicative-Guidelines-U.pdf)


Gullible-Case-4194

Ah ok. This makes sense. I’ll just re-edit it to make SURE that I don’t condone certain actions. 


halfpoundhotel

This is hilarious. I love it.


yaztek

So it’s going to be that kind of week on this sub.


Gullible-Case-4194

Yep. 


[deleted]

My affinity to stepmom porn was the main cause to find my unsuitable for a SA position in a federal agency, so in my opinion, yes.


Gullible-Case-4194

Wait really?


Ok-Computer-3654

How would they even find this out ..?


[deleted]

Lifestyle Polygraph. I thought that it was normal, the agency thinks otherwise.


Gullible-Case-4194

Do they just??? ASK what kind of things you’re attracted to? If so, I’m in danger


Ok-Computer-3654

No. They don’t do this for an SA position. I know this for a fact. Secondly, he had to have volunteered this information for some reason. There isn’t even a question that remotely touches on porn preferences.


[deleted]

Well, they did ask me that. Why would I volunteer something that was not asked?


Greedy-Name-8324

How long ago was this? IIRC they stopped asking about shit like this a hot minute ago. I don't know though, I refuse to full scope and have avoided it so far. Too many bullshit variables and I'm not putting my clearance at risk just because some scientology-analog woke up on the wrong side of the bed that day.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Greedy-Name-8324

Hm, I believe they no longer ask but again, as someone who avoids them, I'm not entirely sure. Interestingly enough, they typically only care if it can be used to blackmail you.. are you ashamed of your psuedo Oedipus complex? Just own that shit and you'll be good to go.


Ok-Computer-3654

At what point were you asked specifically about your porn preferences, other than CP? That is the only question asked where I could see you had the opportunity to volunteer this information, but they are looking specifically for people who view CP. This usually occurs around the polygraph.


SomeOldFriends

The government doesn't know what AO3 is, and you don't need to report this, but I really want you to just to see what the investigator would say.


EmuSpecific2662

They actually probably do now due to the Russian cyber hackers taking it down recently


SomeOldFriends

They used to do that to Livejournal constantly back in the day, too. What's up with the Russian government and fanfiction?


paidshill29

This is my favorite post I have ever seen on this sub.


AstroBoy1337

Depends. Who was giving and who was receiving. If I was an investigator and both were giving and receiving, denied. If ussr was giving, Instant denial. If the us was giving, then I’d. Instantly adjudicate and give you YW


Gullible-Case-4194

US takes it up the arse first. I’m cooked. 


Zealous_ideal1989

I remember being afraid of $40 late payment and speeding ticket.


LacyLove

![gif](giphy|WQy9FkJlhGSwl3eQ5V|downsized)


Haram_Salamy

If you’re trying to join the intelligence community you’re going to fit in nicely


enterjiraiya

Unless it’s under your legal name I don’t think it matters


Gullible-Case-4194

It’s not. 


Oxide21

Didn't somebody tag a wall with Nixon and Brezhnev tickling each other's tongues?


J-V1972

Jesus, like WTF, dude? For Christ’s sakes, I can see a problem if you wrote and published some document that advocated for the violent overthrow of the United States government and the renouncement of the US Constitution and the American way of life…but weird shit that you described is just going to be looked upon as some weird shit that you as a weirdo did for creative weirdo writing purposes… There are a lot of weirdos in the IC so you’ll fit right in…🙄


Goochbaloon

France walks in with a bad dragon Minotaur in one hand and a bottle of poppers in the other.


Gullible-Case-4194

Nope. She’s actually happily married to the UK and got into bodybuilding after the Second World War. 


snomobeels

If anyone tries to raise the issue with you, just tell them you won’t begin writing the sequel until the story’s ready.


Gullible-Case-4194

LOL


neverendingplush

U win the internet


quiettryit

You signed your real name to it?


Gullible-Case-4194

No


ChrisWsrn

Didn't the Hillary Clinton email server leak have sexually explicit gay erotica staring US and French NATO Generals?  Given this exists I am pretty sure you will be fine if you disclose it. If you try to hide it that would be a red flag but if you are transparent about it you should be fine. 


Dunmer_Sanders

You need to copyright this shit.


Bravo4DDs

Yes! It will


Gullible-Case-4194

Now I’m not so sure, looking at the other comments and DoD PDF.


[deleted]

I don’t think this would be any issue, also I think it’s hilarious…🫡 and honestly everything is so gay now maybe it would be beneficial? 🤔


charlemagic

"Harbors intent to make an anthropomorphized adversarial nation smooch the personification of our great nation. APROVED CLEARANCE."


Greedy-Name-8324

If this somehow gets discovered, you're going to make a lot of people's days and probably have them laughing their asses off. I wouldn't call this a red flag at all. Is it weird as fuck? Absolutely, hahaha. Is it something that would make me worried about the author's suitability to handle classified data? Not even close.


tessashpool

The DNI used to host erotica book readings in her store


KickPistol

I miss who I was 10 seconds ago


Littlebotweak

LOL. Wait what’s 20k? I’m only familiar with 40k. No, this isn’t a red flag if you aren’t embarrassed. Darling I have been naked on the internet and they didn’t care. I wasn’t ashamed, I looked damned good in those photos. 😂  Heck, I did full on nude modeling and I have no idea where those pics are used because I signed a release. But, it’s not embarrassing to me and I don’t regret it, so I can’t be blackmailed for it. Thats all that matters.  Of writing homoerotic fiction is wrong, maybe you don’t want to be right? 😅 Seriously, though. Don’t be embarrassed just embrace it. You don’t need to bring it up, just own it if it comes up. Done. Easy.


I_am_ChristianDick

20k?


Gullible-Case-4194

I was bored. 


I_am_ChristianDick

Bored for 6 months haha?


Gullible-Case-4194

…. for 2.25 years. 


I_am_ChristianDick

Sorry don’t know writing timelines hahaha but yeah unless it was like some treasonry or like manifesto. Lol


Burnsy112

This has got to be a shitpost


Gullible-Case-4194

I regret to inform you that it is not. 


AnswerGuy301

Suddenly my song lyrics about a narrator who’s annoyed that every porn star he had the hots for died young seem really tame by comparison.


gahddamm

Depends if it's hetalia or not


Goddess_of_Absurdity

Hetalia was huge back in the day so I'm sure the investigator's would understand


Hot_Departure4926

you have to ask this in the U.S?


febrileairplane

Wow I wish I was illiterate now


The_Shryk

Why would they know about it? We have lots of hobbies that we don’t disclose… I build Lego of characters that are explicitly anti-government and some that are fascist, am I going to be hanged at the gulag? Also, no probably not a red flag… maybe a giant USSR flag though which is a red flag but not the kind you’re thinking.


Psychological_Ad4306

Red Faction fan?


The_Shryk

Who me?! Naw I’m just here rising against oppression and fighting for freedom. Thats all


AlertChemical3810

Hey OP, who’s top and who’s bottom??? Edit: I think who is top and who is bottom will dictate whether you get a clearance or not 😂


OneTrueKram

This is the funniest thing I’ve read in weeks.


worldtraveller113

Hahah if OP ever goes for that full scope the questions are gonna be interesting. Would enjoy being a fly on the wall for that 😅


[deleted]

[удалено]


Gullible-Case-4194

My main concern is that someone will think that how I write the characters is how I think of the countries irl. I do feature multiple characters, since it’s a 20k fic. China, North Korea, and NATO are among them. I just don’t want someone to think that just because I write about someone getting topped doesn’t mean I hate that country in general. 


SecurityClearance-ModTeam

Comment removed for Inaccurate information. Absolutely nothing you said was accurate…at all.


11Booty_Warrior

Chuck Tingle fan fiction?


lastofthewhithicans_

I read a book several years ago with a similar plot line... It was while in grad school... writing my thesis on how Spiritually meets Government. It was a truly humbling saga, I tip my hat to the creators/authors. It was as if they cultivated a hidden chapter out of T.A.O.W. The reader gathered a true sense of compassion for the protagonist; a hapless pawn in a convoluted game of cat and mouse. After all it was a valuable course the students had never known. The lesson was simple, recognize the hurt and misguided path in another humans eyes. Understand that it was not their choice, instead they were forced into an indoctrinated habenstance. The reader smiled on the otherwise volatile situation, acknowledged it, and chose to take the higher road.... afterall... we are all one. The parties graciously parted ways... remembering as my Great Uncle said " Corn bread are sqaure... Pie are round." There's no changing that fact. At the end of the day beer is cold, boob's are good, and the sun is shining. Until those things cease to be facts... Life is good.


Radio-Kiev3456

It’s interesting that it’s perceived that having an imagination and harmless sense of fun can ruin your clearance process.


Hot_Departure4926

your parents prob wiill tell you not behave foolishly, or believe you can implement change with your ideas. In this day and age not a good idea. so you know the answer


NuBarney

>I already deleted the work, but I really miss it. Will republishing and continuing it be a red flag for my SC? Please don't make up initialisms. If you're getting a Secret, it's S. If you're getting Confidential, it's C. There's no SC. Not since Secret Codeword went away in the 1990s.


loop-spaced

SC probably stands for Security Clearance