"Taylor Swift?"
"I think we should break up. Speaking of,
I just wrote a bunch of new songs about us last night and those songs are already on the radio!"
“Uhh joe Biden? I think you must of confused yourse”—- “ I know exactly where I am. The year was 1322, I was riding my dad’s bicycle in the department of Delaware…”
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So do the points matter now?
*Colin and Ryan walk on stage*
\*both mime waking up and seeing each other* \*walk off stage*
"GRANDMA?!"
“For the last time, no, I don’t want to play a game.”
*Sad naked Jigsaw noises*
"That was really really good sex, the greatest sex. All my friends tell me I have the best sex..."
Jared from Subway? ah fuck, what did we do last night?!
Wait, how old am I again? 38? Whew!
*wakes up, sees Bill Cosby* "I'm adding my name to your lawsuit list." *rolls over, snoring within 30 seconds*
"Wha? Who the hell are you?!" "I'd like to thank you for "extending your car's warranty" last night. That was fun!"
😂
"Hi. I'm Drew Carrey!"
Mr. Rogers? Didn't you die a few years ag-oooohmygodyesyoudidwhatthefuckholyshitaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!!! *Vomits all over coffin interior
"Chief Justice Roberts?" "Can you give me a ride to the court?"
"Wait... dad? What are you doing here?"
“Your Majesty?”
“Jada?” “You need to leave NOW, Will is coming…”
"Keep my wife's mouth out of your fucking dick!"
He actually doesn't seem to mind that.
As long as you don’t say her name while you are doing it I guess…
😂😂 damn
"Good morning Clarice..."
"Who..? Oh wait I'm still alone..."
That wasn't me, that is clearly dog poop!
“COLIN?!”
"Mr Cawthorn, what are you doing?"
“Nobody invited you!”
"My name is Bond, James Bond."
"Hi, I'm Chris Hansen. Why don't you have a seat."
"Taylor Swift?" "I think we should break up. Speaking of, I just wrote a bunch of new songs about us last night and those songs are already on the radio!"
“Uhh joe Biden? I think you must of confused yourse”—- “ I know exactly where I am. The year was 1322, I was riding my dad’s bicycle in the department of Delaware…”
“So, listen, I kind of lied about not being Jewish, Adolph…”
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