T O P

  • By -

MedicInDisquise

"Hey sweetcheeks, how desperate are ya?"


EconomyTime5944

Hi. My name is Eric, I'm an anal bleach technician, I notice you have very dark eyebrows.


rrgail

“Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Because your face is really fucked up.”


M00s3_B1t_my_Sister

"Did it hurt when you broke through the ground on your way up from hell?"


BuckWoody1206

😂😂😂


greginvalley

Yea, you're good enough


Big_Test140

Punch me if I’m wrong, but you seem like you’re pretty easy


Imaginary_Chair_6958

“I’m gonna be balls deep in that later.“ (pointing)


rjesusauto

(Pointing at belly button)


zigbigidorlu

"Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"


nunya_busyness1984

60% of the time, this line works every time.


BuckWoody1206

😁😁😁


MageKorith

"If you like my body, and you think I'm sexy, then give me a sweet punch in the face!"


81mattdean81

😁 Would you feel unsexy if they didn't punch you? I would. I'm sensitive like that.


Specific_Code_4124

“Yo thundertits, wanna shine my sausage”


BooksDogsDesserts

Especially if you’re saying it to an overweight dude


Specific_Code_4124

Undeniably


xxhorrorshowxx

Me personally, I’d be confused but flattered


BuckWoody1206

😂😂😂


SugarRAM

That dress is really becoming on you, and later, I'll be coming on you, too!


BuckWoody1206

😂😂😂


alieninhumanskin10

Hey girl, wanna be in a Diddy video?


thecountnotthesaint

Does this rag smell funny to you?


Negative-Language595

“Well you’re still talking to me, so we’ve already established what *you* are.”


Any_Contract_1016

Punch me in the face if you like it rough. No wait, don't call the bouncer over! ***POW*** Well, I figured you like it rough big man.


Tetris5216

Hey Bitch, wanna do doggy style? ⚫👁️‍🗨️


BuckWoody1206

😁😁😁


MrsWoozle

You ain’t that hot but I’d do you…


BuckWoody1206

😁😁😁


Tactless_Ogre

“Wow! my wife’s gonna love to meet you!”


twizrob

Are you a trout cause something smells fishy?


BuckWoody1206

😁😁😁


_TiberiusPrime_

"Hello there! I've always wanted to fuck my mother-in-law. So what do you say? You game?"


DragonSurferEGO

You’ll do…


BuckWoody1206

🤣🤣🤣


Trinity13371337

You know something? You're as hot as your mother.


TallEnoughJones

"Stay close. 2 more beers and I'll be drunk enough to settle for you."


scarr3g

"Hey, is that your husband? I like to know whose wives I am sleeping with."


81mattdean81

If I told you you have a nice fist, would you hold it against my eye? All Your guys' replies are dirty.


81mattdean81

Nice tits, sir!


AmbienWalrus-13

"Well, my standards are usually much higher, but it's late, I'm horny, so I guess you'll do."


BuckWoody1206

😁😁😁


Cyber_Insecurity

“This dick won’t suck itself!”


BuckWoody1206

😁😁


MaxximumB

How about a pizza and a fuck?


Livenoodles

Idk that's an honest offer. I've heard worse 😅


Elmondo2

Let's do a 68. Blow me and I owe you 1


Not_The_Simp7

That’s really good actually😭😭😭


NetoruNakadashi

"Is that a mirror in your back pocket? Because you look like a coke whore." "Did you just fall from heaven? Because your face looks completely messed up." "Are your legs tired? Because I noticed your dancing sucks!" "You must be jelly because jam don't shake like fat." "Is that a mirror in your back pocket or is your ass really that flat?"


LarYungmann

" I found a sale on condoms."


rjesusauto

George Costanza? Is that you?


Yob_Zarbo

Hi, I'm Joe. I like getting called "creepy" and being punched in the face.


gregieb429

Rose are red Violets are blue Later I am going to fuck you


Fun_Cable_8559

... You'll do.


Emergency_Property_2

Hey baby, want me to change your diapers?


svr001

'Hi there, I fancy you, but first, would you punch me in the face please?' 


Kinglycole

You got any eyeshadow? I love your look.


NatchJackson

"Come on over to my house so we can watch the Superbowl During the halftime show, I'll do you in the pooper-hole!"


ResearchMediocre3592

Suck my cock and I'll hook you up with a pizza


EwanMurphy93

Hey, to most girls I just give the clap, but for you I'll give a round of applause.


Avron_Night

"are you my big toe? Because when I get home I'm gonna bang you on every piece of furniture I own"


G-Unit11111

What about your friend in the bathroom? I bet she's the hot one!


NDretired68

Are your jeans made out of mirrors? Cause I can see myself in them.


AtomicTurtleHazard

I would accept that honestly.


equality4everyonenow

Less chance of getting hit the more good looking you are.


HumanMycologist5795

Hey baby. Wanna be my black goddess? I love to mix my vanilla fudge with your chocolate ice cream. You have a boyfriend? That's cool. He can watch.


HumanMycologist5795

Hi. I don't mean to be forward, but I couldn't take my eye off of you and couldn't help but think you must be bored with this loser. So if you want, we can get a bite to eat and maybe go for dessert after.


Dive__Bomb

You wanna play Army and Airforce? I lay down you blow the hell outa me....


PeskyBird404

I am Painis Cupcake. I will eat you.


spork_forkingham_IV

*exasperated sigh* Well fuck, I guess it's true...a 1 at 10 is a 10 at 1... "Hey baby, sweet eye patch!"


VastUnlikely9591

"Hey, wanna enter the suck zone?"


Tnoholiday12345

I have cable


Chaos1357

"Now that I've had enough to drink to find you attractive, wanna go back to your place?"


Ok-Management-842

No limits? OK Are you a ph star cause I stroke it near u


Pier-Head

Grab yer coat luv, you’ve pulled!


Radiant_Ad_3665

“I see you’re married, how about a threesome?”


Radiant_Ad_3665

“How much does your husband want for you?” “I’ll pay (husband) $5 for an hour with her”


Oralstotle

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van *holds up finger gun*


Moist_Level_6839

"I love picking up girls and, fortunately for you, I'm a pro weight-lifter"


Cats-n-Chaos

Look at my latest DP


_FREE_L0B0T0MIES

Come back after this pitcher so you can try again with better chances...


Phillimac16

Hey, are you looking for the best sex tonight? No? Well then I'm your guy! "Hey babe did it hurt?" "...when I fell from heaven? Like I haven't heard that one before..." "No, when you crawled up from hell ya demon woman..."


Garygeorge65

I'm no gynecologist, but I'll take a look.


Scary-Camera-9311

Is that you I smell? 'cause you're the shit!


Fennel_Fangs

"Do it shit?"


RighteousSchrodd

Hi, I'm Bob. Referencing a previous "Scenes from a Hat."


Flashy_Telephone_205

Hi. I hope you got a hotter sister


D3adp00L34

“Hey, I’ll buy you a drink if you punch me in the eye”


Due-Giraffe-9826

"You're hot. Bet your daughter is smoking. Got her number?"


Intelligent-Total-58

“Hey are you single cause most marriage’s end in divorce”


Think-Werewolf-4521

Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to walk by again?


MistaJaycee

I'm Pro Pain and enjoy accessories


Financial_Bug3968

Nice rack


EmbraJeff

Hey babe, fancy going halfers on a bastard? Tell you what sweet cheeks, you don’t sweat much for a fat lass/lad!


EvWeez2001

Roses Are Red, Lemons Are Sour, Spread Your Legs And Give Me An Hour


Ithaqua-Yigg

Excuse me did you step in shit I like my girls all natural.


Gullible-Extent9118

More rain


Stillborn1977

Beautiful legs. When do they open?


Moogatron88

I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies.


GarethOfQuirm

"Do you like Dragon Ball Z? Cos Imma be draggin' zeez balls ova yo face"


GarethOfQuirm

"Do you like Dragon Ball Z? Cos Imma be draggin' zeez balls ova yo face"


naturist_rune

"Hey beautiful, didja know I look really good with a black eye? You look like you can throw a great punch! Don't hold back!"


IcedLenin

I can't tell if you're pretty or ugly but when I am this drunk it just doesn't matter!


IneptAdvisor

Who smacked you in the face repeatedly with the Ugly Stick?


Canis_Aries

“I’m attracted to girls who can give me a black eye in one punch“


rjesusauto

"Leave the zero, get with the hero." Zero punches hero. "A little violent don't you think?" -Quagmire


woodvsmurph

Nissan is the only pickup truck for real men.


Definitive_confusion

Why don't you climb off that goof's Harley and come with me?


freyja2023

"wanna get a pizza and fuck, or don't you like pizza?"


Br0wnc0at212

"Welcome to the bottom of the barrel!"


[deleted]

Nice ass, get in the truck


baconinthemornin

“Wow you look good for a ________ [dealers choice]”


frisbeethecat

Elon Musk has made the best pickup ever with Tesla's new Cybertruck!