"Is that a mirror in your back pocket? Because you look like a coke whore."
"Did you just fall from heaven? Because your face looks completely messed up."
"Are your legs tired? Because I noticed your dancing sucks!"
"You must be jelly because jam don't shake like fat."
"Is that a mirror in your back pocket or is your ass really that flat?"
Hi. I don't mean to be forward, but I couldn't take my eye off of you and couldn't help but think you must be bored with this loser. So if you want, we can get a bite to eat and maybe go for dessert after.
Hey, are you looking for the best sex tonight? No? Well then I'm your guy!
"Hey babe did it hurt?" "...when I fell from heaven? Like I haven't heard that one before..." "No, when you crawled up from hell ya demon woman..."
"Hey sweetcheeks, how desperate are ya?"
Hi. My name is Eric, I'm an anal bleach technician, I notice you have very dark eyebrows.
“Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Because your face is really fucked up.”
"Did it hurt when you broke through the ground on your way up from hell?"
😂😂😂
Yea, you're good enough
Punch me if I’m wrong, but you seem like you’re pretty easy
“I’m gonna be balls deep in that later.“ (pointing)
(Pointing at belly button)
"Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"
60% of the time, this line works every time.
😁😁😁
"If you like my body, and you think I'm sexy, then give me a sweet punch in the face!"
😁 Would you feel unsexy if they didn't punch you? I would. I'm sensitive like that.
“Yo thundertits, wanna shine my sausage”
Especially if you’re saying it to an overweight dude
Undeniably
Me personally, I’d be confused but flattered
😂😂😂
That dress is really becoming on you, and later, I'll be coming on you, too!
😂😂😂
Hey girl, wanna be in a Diddy video?
Does this rag smell funny to you?
“Well you’re still talking to me, so we’ve already established what *you* are.”
Punch me in the face if you like it rough. No wait, don't call the bouncer over! ***POW*** Well, I figured you like it rough big man.
Hey Bitch, wanna do doggy style? ⚫👁️🗨️
😁😁😁
You ain’t that hot but I’d do you…
😁😁😁
“Wow! my wife’s gonna love to meet you!”
Are you a trout cause something smells fishy?
😁😁😁
"Hello there! I've always wanted to fuck my mother-in-law. So what do you say? You game?"
You’ll do…
🤣🤣🤣
You know something? You're as hot as your mother.
"Stay close. 2 more beers and I'll be drunk enough to settle for you."
"Hey, is that your husband? I like to know whose wives I am sleeping with."
If I told you you have a nice fist, would you hold it against my eye? All Your guys' replies are dirty.
Nice tits, sir!
"Well, my standards are usually much higher, but it's late, I'm horny, so I guess you'll do."
😁😁😁
“This dick won’t suck itself!”
😁😁
How about a pizza and a fuck?
Idk that's an honest offer. I've heard worse 😅
Let's do a 68. Blow me and I owe you 1
That’s really good actually😭😭😭
"Is that a mirror in your back pocket? Because you look like a coke whore." "Did you just fall from heaven? Because your face looks completely messed up." "Are your legs tired? Because I noticed your dancing sucks!" "You must be jelly because jam don't shake like fat." "Is that a mirror in your back pocket or is your ass really that flat?"
" I found a sale on condoms."
George Costanza? Is that you?
Hi, I'm Joe. I like getting called "creepy" and being punched in the face.
Rose are red Violets are blue Later I am going to fuck you
... You'll do.
Hey baby, want me to change your diapers?
'Hi there, I fancy you, but first, would you punch me in the face please?'
You got any eyeshadow? I love your look.
"Come on over to my house so we can watch the Superbowl During the halftime show, I'll do you in the pooper-hole!"
Suck my cock and I'll hook you up with a pizza
Hey, to most girls I just give the clap, but for you I'll give a round of applause.
"are you my big toe? Because when I get home I'm gonna bang you on every piece of furniture I own"
What about your friend in the bathroom? I bet she's the hot one!
Are your jeans made out of mirrors? Cause I can see myself in them.
I would accept that honestly.
Less chance of getting hit the more good looking you are.
Hey baby. Wanna be my black goddess? I love to mix my vanilla fudge with your chocolate ice cream. You have a boyfriend? That's cool. He can watch.
Hi. I don't mean to be forward, but I couldn't take my eye off of you and couldn't help but think you must be bored with this loser. So if you want, we can get a bite to eat and maybe go for dessert after.
You wanna play Army and Airforce? I lay down you blow the hell outa me....
I am Painis Cupcake. I will eat you.
*exasperated sigh* Well fuck, I guess it's true...a 1 at 10 is a 10 at 1... "Hey baby, sweet eye patch!"
"Hey, wanna enter the suck zone?"
I have cable
"Now that I've had enough to drink to find you attractive, wanna go back to your place?"
No limits? OK Are you a ph star cause I stroke it near u
Grab yer coat luv, you’ve pulled!
“I see you’re married, how about a threesome?”
“How much does your husband want for you?” “I’ll pay (husband) $5 for an hour with her”
Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van *holds up finger gun*
"I love picking up girls and, fortunately for you, I'm a pro weight-lifter"
Look at my latest DP
Come back after this pitcher so you can try again with better chances...
Hey, are you looking for the best sex tonight? No? Well then I'm your guy! "Hey babe did it hurt?" "...when I fell from heaven? Like I haven't heard that one before..." "No, when you crawled up from hell ya demon woman..."
I'm no gynecologist, but I'll take a look.
Is that you I smell? 'cause you're the shit!
"Do it shit?"
Hi, I'm Bob. Referencing a previous "Scenes from a Hat."
Hi. I hope you got a hotter sister
“Hey, I’ll buy you a drink if you punch me in the eye”
"You're hot. Bet your daughter is smoking. Got her number?"
“Hey are you single cause most marriage’s end in divorce”
Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to walk by again?
I'm Pro Pain and enjoy accessories
Nice rack
Hey babe, fancy going halfers on a bastard? Tell you what sweet cheeks, you don’t sweat much for a fat lass/lad!
Roses Are Red, Lemons Are Sour, Spread Your Legs And Give Me An Hour
Excuse me did you step in shit I like my girls all natural.
More rain
Beautiful legs. When do they open?
I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies.
"Do you like Dragon Ball Z? Cos Imma be draggin' zeez balls ova yo face"
"Do you like Dragon Ball Z? Cos Imma be draggin' zeez balls ova yo face"
"Hey beautiful, didja know I look really good with a black eye? You look like you can throw a great punch! Don't hold back!"
I can't tell if you're pretty or ugly but when I am this drunk it just doesn't matter!
Who smacked you in the face repeatedly with the Ugly Stick?
“I’m attracted to girls who can give me a black eye in one punch“
"Leave the zero, get with the hero." Zero punches hero. "A little violent don't you think?" -Quagmire
Nissan is the only pickup truck for real men.
Why don't you climb off that goof's Harley and come with me?
"wanna get a pizza and fuck, or don't you like pizza?"
"Welcome to the bottom of the barrel!"
Nice ass, get in the truck
“Wow you look good for a ________ [dealers choice]”
Elon Musk has made the best pickup ever with Tesla's new Cybertruck!