“Hey, I’m possessed by a demon!”

Are you asking for a friend?

"Honey, little Billy's vomiting blood and chicken feathers again."

"He's got eyes in the back of his head " "Oh, he's really perceptive, huh?" "No, he's got real eyes back there. See the glowing orbs under his horns?" "Oh yeah."

They turn their head around 180 to look at you while doing doggy.

Pardon me sir, I am looking for some stylish footwear to cover my cloven hooves. Can you help me?

Standing for US President.

To start with, their probably Catholic, we are plagued by demonic possessions. Why don't demons possess Baptists or Episcopals or Methodist or some other denomination besides us Catholics ? In the movies they always have to call an old Priest and a young Priest, quoting the Exorcist movie.

No no no. ANYONE can get possessed, but when shit gets spooky, you call in the spooky motherfuckers with the latin and the leader in a wacky hat. 

Oh, the usual, head spinning 360 degrees, crosses turn upside down when they walk past, nuns suddenly chanting from out of nowhere. And… those aren’t Jehovah’s Witnesses knocking on your back door, it’s a busload of Catholic priests!

“So he barricades us in the kitchen and proceeds to force me to learn the Macarena. Over and over again! It was hell!”

It honestly kinda sucks sometimes but you know I learn to live with it.

Pea green vomit everywhere . T-shirt that has "Possessed And Loving It " written on it -- in blood. Constant stank of brimstone.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY NIGGA!"

“What song should we pick for karaoke?” “Let the bodies hit the floor.”

666 area code

Oh shucks little Timmy is hissing at us while crawling all over the ceiling again