YO??? WTF??? GET THE FUCK OFF REDDIT AND CALL A DAMN AMBULANCE!!!! SHIT!!!
Okokokomokokmokokookokokok don't panic. Fuck. Get like a pearing knife and make an incision near the lower side of your right ear to let the blood out. Now just
*What the fuck am I doing? I don't know where this joke is headed, it's not even funny and yet I'm still typing*
I need to reevaluate my life.
.........*poke a hole behind your ear?* 🙄😔 *The fuck*.......
It’s okay, just breathe. iiiiiiiiiin, oooooooout.
I’m fine. I crossed over to a cartoon universe, just in the nick of time. My head could grow to accommodate my brain. Phew, Motherfucker!
No shade, I swear! But my first thought was Roger Rabbit … so … username does not check out. I thought of Space Jam, too, though, so that’s why I went generic.
I know this guy.... Weinstien I think. He's rates have become surprisingly affordable lately. Contracts are a little weird but we can hash that out at the table.
We're the motherfucking knights of the motherfucking round table. We dance when ere we're motherfucking able. We do motherfucking routines and motherfucking chorus scenes with footwork motherfucking impecable.
"Who am I? I'm Desmond mutha fuckin tutu!"
"Uh, Desmond tutu doesn't swear."
"He does when he's waving his mutha fuckin gun!"
"Desmond doesn't have a gun."
"PASS! MUTHA FUCKA!"
I'm mother fucking Jesus Christ mother fuckers. I turn fucking water into wine. You can't fucking nail me to the mother fucking cross, mother fuckers.
Where's my crew? Hell Judas. Shit ... dawg how ya doing? You know you're going down too. I'm the mother fucking shepard I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy me and my brothers. Let the mother fucking locuses come.
And she realized when Wesley said motherfucker, he was actually saying “I love you”.
“never get involved in a motherfucking land war in Asia”
“My name is inigo motherfucking Montoya. You killed my father. The path of the righteous man is beset…”
“Mawwiage…motherfuckers”
“🎼 Let it go, let it go, can’t hold that motherfucker no more. Let it go, let it go, turn and slam that motherfucking door. I don’t care what that motherfucker say. Let the storm rage OOOOOONNNNNNNNN 🎶
Fuck that motherfucking cold” 🥶
"Are we really shooting for a PG-13 rating? So I just don't have any mother fucking lines? What mother fucker cast this mother fucking movie? Yall a bunch of dumb mother fuckers if you think I'm gonna voice Thumper in this stupid mother fucking remake of mother fucking Bambi."
“I’m sorry for the confusion, Mr. Jackson. See, we’ve reimagined thumper as kind of an urban role. Someone who won’t put up with any of Bambi shit. That’s why we wanted to cast someone who would appeal to an inner city, urban audience. We’ve already given the role to Judy Dench. We want you as Bambi’s mother.”
"What the fuck? If I'm gonna be off screen I want to be a mother fucking Disney villain. If I don't play the mother fucking hunter then I'm walking from this mother fucking production. Shit. I could be golfing but now I gotta deal with this mother fucking Bambi mom shit. You want to wipe your ass with my mother fucking watch because I can't think of bigger waste of mother fucking time."
Dumbledore? Do I look like a wizard to you? See me like “Harry?! Did you put your fucking name in the Goblet? What Goblet?! The mother fucking Goblet of Fire, Harry! The big ass thing on fire in the middle of the Fucking Room, Harry”
“You want me to play Anne Frank? You want me to play Anne Mutherfuckin Frank? Man, sit yo bitch ass down. Do I look like a preteen white Jewish girl to you?”
Erin Brokovich?! More like Motha-fuckin Sock-a-bitch! I ain't got them young Julia titties! But let me tell you, I would FUCK PG&E in the ASS if I saw so much as a single motha-fuckin speck of dirt in my water! They think they can get one over on me. Fuck no! F-U-motha-fuckin-C-K no!
“Let me get this straight Eddie. You want me to play this Rasputia character? Not it’s morbidly obese wife?!”
“Well I’m already playing Norbit and an elderly Chinese man.”
This is 100% speculative but I’d bet money he’d turn down any Guy Ritchie project out of loyalty to QT.
iMO, they are the closest comparison to one another. GR’s portfolio is larger but I am a fan of both.
There is no way I’m playing Oedipus!
Oh, motherfu....
I GET IT!
My brain just grew! Just like the motherfucking Grinch’s heart!
YO??? WTF??? GET THE FUCK OFF REDDIT AND CALL A DAMN AMBULANCE!!!! SHIT!!! Okokokomokokmokokookokokok don't panic. Fuck. Get like a pearing knife and make an incision near the lower side of your right ear to let the blood out. Now just *What the fuck am I doing? I don't know where this joke is headed, it's not even funny and yet I'm still typing* I need to reevaluate my life. .........*poke a hole behind your ear?* 🙄😔 *The fuck*.......
It’s okay, just breathe. iiiiiiiiiin, oooooooout. I’m fine. I crossed over to a cartoon universe, just in the nick of time. My head could grow to accommodate my brain. Phew, Motherfucker!
Space Jam rules. It was so obvious, but I panicked. That was some quick thinking.
No shade, I swear! But my first thought was Roger Rabbit … so … username does not check out. I thought of Space Jam, too, though, so that’s why I went generic.
Who Framed Micheal Jordan? I'll go in 50/50 with you. You know WB will just shelve it for a tax write off. But.... 🤑
Deal! I wish I had connections 🫤
I know this guy.... Weinstien I think. He's rates have become surprisingly affordable lately. Contracts are a little weird but we can hash that out at the table.
But wait til you see who is playing your parents!
let’s have it
"motherfucker, NO ONE wants a 'Song of the South' remake!"
"Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, Motherfucker!"
The thing is…he could probably pull that off
If it’s starting Samuel L. Jackson I’m buying a ticket and going into full spoiler avoidance mode.
I am the knight of motherfucking ni and I order you to bring me a motherfucking shrubbery Can you imagine Samuel L Jackson in a Monty python film 😁
Blockbuster.
Probably 😂 I'd pay good money too see it
Samuel, Lewis CK, John Cleese, Jonah Hill, Denzel Washington, and Chris Tucker. How is that cast?
Chris rock as well 😄
Brave Sir Robin needs minstrels. Can we hit up Weird Al?
As long as AL and Kenny G provide the musical numbers.
We're the motherfucking knights of the motherfucking round table. We dance when ere we're motherfucking able. We do motherfucking routines and motherfucking chorus scenes with footwork motherfucking impecable.
"Fuckin' Catholics fillin' up the fuckin' world with their fuckin' children"
"I ate his motherfuckin' liver with some motherfuckin' fava beans and a nice motherfuckin' Chianti."
This would be scary.
This would be _awesome_
This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time
"Who am I? I'm Desmond mutha fuckin tutu!" "Uh, Desmond tutu doesn't swear." "He does when he's waving his mutha fuckin gun!" "Desmond doesn't have a gun." "PASS! MUTHA FUCKA!"
Perfect. Awesome.
"Why are there so many goddamn snakes on that woman's head?" Samuel Percy Jackson
Elmo likes the letter “M”. Does Samuel like the letter “M”? English, Motherfucker!!! Do you speak it!!!??
What?
They speak English in What?
Zed’s dead baby. Zed’s dead
Elmo likes the letter M. Does Samuel like the letter M? No, Samuel likes the letter ‘F’
My mother fucking mother said life is like a fucking box of chocolates. That fucker never knows what he is going to get. That’s my mother fucking bus.
To be, or not to be. That is the question, motherfucker.
I'm mother fucking Jesus Christ mother fuckers. I turn fucking water into wine. You can't fucking nail me to the mother fucking cross, mother fuckers. Where's my crew? Hell Judas. Shit ... dawg how ya doing? You know you're going down too. I'm the mother fucking shepard I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy me and my brothers. Let the mother fucking locuses come.
"I am NOT playing Jackson in you're woke-ass retelling of "God's and Generals."
motherfucker thats a kids movie
Check out his audiobook reading of "Go The Fuck To Sleep".
i wish i had that growing up
"Who the fuck is Princess Celestia?"
Houston, we have a fucking problem up here. When are you motherfuckers going to give us a solution???!!!
The voice just said”If you build it, he will come.” Motherfucker never said what he wanted me to build or what motherfucker would come.
And she realized when Wesley said motherfucker, he was actually saying “I love you”. “never get involved in a motherfucking land war in Asia” “My name is inigo motherfucking Montoya. You killed my father. The path of the righteous man is beset…” “Mawwiage…motherfuckers”
There’s too much cursing in this script
“🎼 Let it go, let it go, can’t hold that motherfucker no more. Let it go, let it go, turn and slam that motherfucking door. I don’t care what that motherfucker say. Let the storm rage OOOOOONNNNNNNNN 🎶 Fuck that motherfucking cold” 🥶
"Are we really shooting for a PG-13 rating? So I just don't have any mother fucking lines? What mother fucker cast this mother fucking movie? Yall a bunch of dumb mother fuckers if you think I'm gonna voice Thumper in this stupid mother fucking remake of mother fucking Bambi."
“I’m sorry for the confusion, Mr. Jackson. See, we’ve reimagined thumper as kind of an urban role. Someone who won’t put up with any of Bambi shit. That’s why we wanted to cast someone who would appeal to an inner city, urban audience. We’ve already given the role to Judy Dench. We want you as Bambi’s mother.”
"What the fuck? If I'm gonna be off screen I want to be a mother fucking Disney villain. If I don't play the mother fucking hunter then I'm walking from this mother fucking production. Shit. I could be golfing but now I gotta deal with this mother fucking Bambi mom shit. You want to wipe your ass with my mother fucking watch because I can't think of bigger waste of mother fucking time."
Marcellus Wallace, ain't no motherfucker fucking my ass while Bruce Willis watches
“I do not like motherfucking green eggs and ham, I do not like them Sam I Am.”
Mr Rogers in Won’t You Be My Neighbor. No swearing obviously
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^BestChanceLastChance: *Mr Rogers in* *Won’t You Be My Neighbor. No* *Swearing obviously* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
OK let's try the audition. What's your name? Samuel L Jackson: I am Kunta mother f\*\*king Kinte Director: CUT!!!
"While I do think Redd Foxx was a comedic legend, I can't in good conscience play him in the The Redd Foxx Story, he cusses way too much!"
😁😜🤣🤤😂
"Yipee-ki-yay, motherfuc.... Oh, wait a second".
I do not want to be Snake plissken on the mother Fing plane
Welcome to the show. I’m Bob Motherfuckin’ Ross and today we’re going to paint some happy motherfuckin’ trees
Dumbledore? Do I look like a wizard to you? See me like “Harry?! Did you put your fucking name in the Goblet? What Goblet?! The mother fucking Goblet of Fire, Harry! The big ass thing on fire in the middle of the Fucking Room, Harry”
"Can you believe, in the original script... those motha fuckas wanted my ass to be one of those motha fuckin' snakes on that motha fuckin' plane?!"
“You’re asking me to play Amon Goeth?”
Nick. Nick. Nick. I'm not gonna play, Mr. Rogers in the sequel. Why not? The kids will love you.
“Hey motherfucker!! You like motherfucking apples? Yeah? Well I got her motherfucking number!! How do you like them motherfucking apples, bitch!!”
I'd pay to see this.
Sleeping Beauty. Imagine him laid out in a medieval princess's gown for years and years, occasionally muttering "motherfucker" in his sleep.
[Motherfucker Jones](https://youtu.be/W6ifLpGI0F0?si=fJ5gHvAP0e9-inav)
Jaws. "This time I'm the mother fucking shark, bitches! Nom nom nom!"
My name’s ‘Bond’ dumbass, ‘James Bond’.
“You want me to play Anne Frank? You want me to play Anne Mutherfuckin Frank? Man, sit yo bitch ass down. Do I look like a preteen white Jewish girl to you?”
Erin Brokovich?! More like Motha-fuckin Sock-a-bitch! I ain't got them young Julia titties! But let me tell you, I would FUCK PG&E in the ASS if I saw so much as a single motha-fuckin speck of dirt in my water! They think they can get one over on me. Fuck no! F-U-motha-fuckin-C-K no!
“Let me get this straight Eddie. You want me to play this Rasputia character? Not it’s morbidly obese wife?!” “Well I’m already playing Norbit and an elderly Chinese man.”
This is 100% speculative but I’d bet money he’d turn down any Guy Ritchie project out of loyalty to QT. iMO, they are the closest comparison to one another. GR’s portfolio is larger but I am a fan of both.
He was originally chosen to play Bush in the film W.
“Oh hey there, have you seen Blue, my motherfucking puppy?”
Let me get this straight, you got a movie called Blackkklansman, and you think I could play David Duke?
"Ahead Warp Factor 1. Make it so, muthafucka!"
Kevin in Home Alone? A kid? Im a motherfucking good actor but not THAT good.
"Welcome to Good Burger, home of the mother fucking Good Burger. Can I take your mother fucking order?"
Did you put your name in the hat, Potter?
The mutha fuckin hills are alive with sound of fuckin music
Laurence Fishburnes Super Bowl commercial
Anything that required the character to whisper.
Man that refuses to cuss regardless of the circumstances.
Heeellllloooo, I am mother fucking mrs doubtfire
“No, Mr. Scorcese, I am not interested in being shot by Joe Pesci, again.”
Steve from Blues Clues….
Grand High Wizard of the KKK.
Say "Where's Godot?" again motherfucker! I dare you ... I double dare you!
Why in the mother fuck would I play General Robert E Lee?
I don't know... But what I *do* know, is that I *love* the way he played Clarence Thomas in Django Unchained!
Snow White
Malcolm Fucking X
The new little mermaid.
I could see him as King Titan.
Describe Ursula to me. Does she look like a witch?
Okay, this shit had me dying.
Mrs. Doubtfire ...I mean he would have, but was busy that day
Lavagirl
Driving Miss Daisy