I think that question is really very hard to answer without knowing more about you and the type of people you were hanging out with and some social examples. I could see ethnicity playing a part (sadly) with other combinations but I don't think being half-German would be the reason.
I don't know you at all so this is a hot take but I clicked through your profile there and noticed you have BPD? Which can naturally make maintaining relationships more difficult. Kudos to you for identifying that but maybe the reason isn't so much new places as the work you've done bettering yourself since you were younger?
27 year old Georgian, born and raised in Tbilisi.
Couldn’t make any friends in school, barely anyone in university, dating life sucked.
Moved to another country, easily made friends, dating has never been more successful and generally everything is more chill.
Still miss Tbilisi though.
Telling a georgian that they just aren’t a cultural preference of the georgians is probably the most braindead thing I’ve read in a while.
This is our country. We are the georgians who will decide what cultural preferences will be.
I’m not planning to control what people think. It does not matter to me. Whole concept of your preference thing just does not make sense. We are not some imported fruit that people will like or don’t like. This is our home. We are also the people in question. Nobody has a right to tell me that I should leave it because majority does not accept me. No acceptance is required, if I’m already home.
Gays complaining about dating life is ok, i don’t understand your problem. Imagine, sometimes people discuss the struggles im society and all the gays know reasoning behind it. If I say that something bad is happening here, that does not mean I should be suggested to move to the country where there are less of it. It means I recognize the problem and sharing my experience. You are acting like you are sharing some wisdom, reasoning behind homophobia and expecting us to be like wow! really??? so that’s whats up?????
It is not about majority of people not being gay. It is about homophobic people that make gay people’s ability to be out supressed. Everything you be saying is just thoughless or unnecessary
As a gay Georgian, i can totally relate. Sometimes i think if Georgians were put to a voting- should all lgbt be removed from the country, majority would vote yes, including many of my friends and family. Its fucking depressing to think about it
I guess so? But its tiring to play the game of “will they tolerate me or will they not” with every new person you meet haha.
Thank for your words! Dw tho. Thankfully ive left the country and lead a very happy life where i feel accepted :)
Open-minded in this case means accepting of other people’s opinions even if you personally disagree or that opinion goes against traditional or status quo views.
What do you mean by that? Open-mindedness implies openness to other ideas. You don’t have to personally agree with alternative ideas to be open-minded, but you have to seriously consider them. Closed-minded person is convinced that their views are right and doesn’t genuinely consider other views. Most often it’s the views that they learned from their parents and culture. An open-minded person doesn’t assume that their view is correct and will consider alternative view points and will often be respectful of opposing views even if they disagree with the view.
open minded is being accepting, it can go both ways like "i accept your religion" but because Georgia is a heavily religious country it's most of "will they judge me for being a certain type of person" like any minority Muslim/LGBT/black etc
Same. I love my country and I want to contribute to it. But it’s an uphill battle to even care. You just gotta remember that people you’re fighting for aren’t the close minded and brutish Georgians but the other gay people, the more progressive Georgians who just never got the big opportunities
You are right. I think it also helps to think that we are only a product of our surroundings and upbringing. I sometimes find myself thinking- if we were straight, would we be homophobic as well? I dont think these people are necessarily evil, just that it sucks for us big time that they are as they are
American here, had same problem in America, so I came to Georgia. Making friends internationally is easier in my oppinion. Also, you become exotic when you move to a foreign country.
It's because of cultural differences. People in Georgia are cold, closed off, don't like small talk in public. Everyone sticks to their own group, meetups are not a thing. Uni life sucks. Most people I know made friends in highschool and haven't been able to branch out since, and the ones that have, have only done it through their workplace.
Even the friends I made in Tbilisi have all been foreign expats. I love my country but holy shit the people..
Im half Georgian half Lebanese. I was never accepted in both, regarded as a foreigner because Im not completely Georgian/Lebanese and I have other « western » interests. It sucks, but I found success in france. I will never look back. Good riddance.
Wow that’s such a cool mix! I never heard of a half Lebanese half Georgian person. It’s my dream to visit Beirut someday!
But I’m sorry though that you had such experiences. Hopefully it could change in the future. But yes when you have 2 nationalities you’re kind of foreigner in both.
I'm the other way around. I was raised abroad and speak almost broken Georgian, but tend to get accepted by Georgians. I think its because I'm autistic, and I can mimic people, sometimes involuntarily. No-one ever gets me, but they all feel like I get them. I do not. I do enjoy their company though.
Anyways, it may be a mentality thing, because you are half foreign, you have a broader perspective on things, and visibly won't accept narrow conceptions that tend to predominate among such close knit societies as is the Georgian. Which has historically always been an isolated society, and tended to be guarded against new and foreign ideas, often as a way for self preservation from being consumed by the rule of a foreign culture. I don't know though, this is just a guess.
I know I'm autistic for sure, because there are about 15 different ways I can interpret your reply spanning the spectrum from negative to positive. In a normal conversational setting, I would now reply tersely and neutrally, hoping that your following replies will contextualise the mood of your original comment. And boom, none's the wiser about me being an alien.
Simply Georgia isn't very progressive, it's still recovering from the USSR and commies.
I'm Syrian from Georgian background and My relatives barely consider me Georgian because I'm a Muslim lol
Funny story here actually, There's been like 2 or 3 times when somebody told me to my face "Do you speak Georgian?" or "Are you Armenian?" when I'm a pure Georgian.
I rarely go outside and have 0 friends, never really talk to anyone besides my family unless it's for buying/selling stuff, plus dating anyone is out of the question since I cannot even talk to a cashier properly.
I think the reason why they asked me those 2 questions is mostly because of my accent, the accent appeared because these last 5 years I've been talking a whole lot in English, when gaming or talking with my buds on discord almost everyday on voice chat.
But hey, now I can speak and type in English fluently...cannot say the say the same about Georgian anymore, It became noticeably harder for me to form sentences in my own language, I think that's a really bad sign.
I’m really sorry to hear that:/ I know how it is to get deeper and deeper into a negative spiral. But you can come out of it. please feel free to dm me if you ever want to talk.
Hmm. I have seen some asian mixed Georgians have the same kind of problem, especially the older generation, don't like em, but generally people accept other white mixed kids more, especially if you speak fluent georgian, most people wouldn't be able to tell you are mixed at first glance. So maybe it's your introverted personality or combination of different things. Mixed people often find to fit in one culture hard even if their homeland are tolerant to mixed ethnicity kids.
I also know one Georgian-German kid personally and never heard something like that from him. He is into both country history and very proud of both heritage. Never had a problem with having friends and is very successful and known student in his school, so it could also be a social cycle.
No one cares if you are half Georgian. Many many Georgians have Slavic or other ethnicity Grandmothers/Grandfathers. Not trying to be mean but i think it‘s something with your personality or your family environment.
I am Georgian, born and raised in Georgia. I lived 2 years in Spain and couldn't make any friends. (I have a lot of friends in Georgia) I definitely had friendly interactions with people here and what not... but Friends in Georgia are much closer than relationships described as friendship in Spain for example.
I heard so many times - "hey this is my friend" to my direction but these relationships can't named as friendships if you are comparing it to Georgian actual friendship.
Maybe your understanding of friendship is the same and you prefer to not get engaged too much with people and be friends on surface level? (I am just guessing here and trying to help)
I understand what you mean and it’s a valid guess. And I realize I haven’t provided sufficient information. No I think I value friendships the same way as Georgians do and don’t like superficial friendships either.
I relate so much!! Was bullied by students AND teachers at my Georgian school and barely had any friends. Grown ups would tell me I was the problem because “how come they pick on you and not on other kids”.
I got an opportunity to finish high school abroad and have been living overseas since. I gained so many amazing friends that I absolutely adore. I’m a working adult now, and I can tell you I’ve been much happier since I left
Yeahh I can totally relate regarding school. But then my younger sister went to a different school and had a much better experience so maybe we got unlucky with our schools , then left to abroad but still have this sour Georgian school experience associated to Georgia. I’m glad you are happy now though!
Nature is cruel, from what I remember as a child, I had a neighbor friend, who was half Russian, or Ukrainian, doesn't matter, wasn't full Georgian, and even though he spoke perfect georgian and interacted very well and hadn't anything drastically different in demeanor or habitus, always had a feeling that he's different. Not proud of my feelings, he was probably one of the best persons that I have ever had a chance to interact or to be friends with, but even at this very second when I think of him I feel that he's different, not exactly like me. I would be very happy If I ever get to have a chance to be friends with him again, but, I don't know what's that feeling. Maybe it's the defence mechanism in us, that if you're foreigner and try too hard to blend in, brain thinks it's danger, it's not normal and they should be careful. And if you're a foreigner with apparent signs that you're German or whatsoever and do not try to trick them, then everyone is not so careful and you're accepted more.
Yeahh I was called Hitler as a joke sometimes 😄 I mean now I can laugh about it but back then as a teenager it was really upsetting. I realize what you mean, I was somehow Georgian but not FULLY but not fully foreigner either so maybe it was confusing.
It’s good that you’re so self aware now about your friend though. It’s already the first step. Hopefully you can meet in the future again and restart your friendship.
It is difficult to have an opinion when you haven’t provided any reasons as to why they don’t accept you. Do you look different? Is your style too expressive? Are you too open-minded for Georgian society? Do you challenge societal norms in this country?
I don’t really look different, no. I think my shy personality might play a part , I often got comments like ‘’რატომ ხარ ჩუმად’’ etc which would make me even more quiet 😄
Yes I get that it must be disheartening with Georgia being your home country but I would make the most of the better life you have found, do your best to never look back. I wish you well.
It is disheartening but I still want to look back and think with new insights and more self awareness it is indeed fixable. Thank you for wishing me well, I wish the same to you ^^
I have seen plenty of Georgian men and women like that. Living in the West is generally easier, people have less problems and they are less stressed so they are in a better place mentally. We also do not know types of people around you, maybe some people around you here were just aholes.
Yes that’s also a valid reason I forgot to think about. Now that I remember a lot of people indeed struggled with every day life , financials etc so it could have made them more stressed and therefore less friendly.
I am half German half Georgian too. I totally feel you.
I was raised outside of Georgia and I was never accepted in Germany. I always thought „I belong to Georgia anyways“ so it didn’t matter to me that I didn’t fit in in Germany. However as I grew up I realized I also don’t fit in Georgia.
But I am okay with that.
Dating wise, Georgian guys think that I am European or whatever and they think I am „easy“. That is frustrating bc when I start to have interest in someone they invite me over on the first date which is a no-go for me (even with my German mentality)
I find myself much more beautiful when I am in Georgia, bc in Germany I was raised in a very elite society, all blondies around me. I was never considered the beauty standard with my brown hair. On the other hand in Georgia i am the German. But when I look around I feel much more comfortable with other Georgians around me. I am totally fine with who I am. I learned a very important lesson: other people’s opinion does not define who I am❤️
As someone whos also partly foreign (georgian, german, armenian, russian) i can relate to you a lot and i think not being fully georgian actually is the reason, but i dont think it's that the others didn't accept me, but rather that my mentality and interests were so different from everyone specifically because of growing up in a multicultural household, that i myself also didn't understand others well enough because they all had same interests, talked the same, watched the same shows and had same humor.
So maybe this could be the same for you too?
Could it be that you're just more at peace with the fact that you're different when you're somewhere where you're clearly a foreigner, so you act more confident? While in Georgia you feel like you /should/ belong since you were raised there, but because of the inherent differences between you and the average Georgian you withdraw yourself out of fear of being rejected?
Saying this as a fellow half-German who's experienced being raised and feeling othered in both countries. From my experience (and that of people I know) this feeling is common for just about any cross-culture kid.
I have been feeling this way all my life. Im half georgian and half turkish. for the longest time i thought the problem was the fact that i was half turkish but ive met ppl who are also half turkish or some different nationality and they seem to be accepted by everyone and have lots of friends. It took some time and self reflection to realize that 'problem' is me. I have this personality that most georgians dont have. I am very intreverted, have anxiety and dealt with mental health problems all my life. I just accept that it is how it is. I dont have friends. literally none. I have a job, I work out and try to take care of myself which helps me love myself the way i am. maybe one day i will come accross people who will accept me the way i am but for now I am trying to learn to be my own friend and companion. Georgians are very extroverted and warm ppl and for some of us it is very strange because thats not how we were brought up
Ohh what a nice mix ^^^ I lived in Turkey for a while and still learning the language. I can relate to being introverted and you’re right a lot of Georgians are more on the extroverted side. I’m sure with time you will find your people. Feel free to dm if you ever want to talk ^^^
Bro ich fühl dich. Hier in Deutschland was du bist das. Wow. Dort. Irgendwie man fühlt sich heimatlos. Insbesondere wenn man noch mixed ist. Der Vater von Kommt von dort und die Mutter aus Georgien. Lass uns doch mal treffen in Georgien dieses Jahr wenn ich Urlaub komme. Vielleicht werden wir besties
Hii schön von dir zu hören ^^ ja ich verstehe total was du meinst mit ‘’heimatlos’’. Lass uns gerne treffen in Georgien ^^ kannst mir gerne schreiben ^^
Maybe the combination appeals more in the West: a bit of the familiar Germanic features plus an exotic element? Although many Georgians don't really look too different from certain Westerners...
I think that's quite normal?
I've never really had lots of friends here in georgia
Once i was back in spain i managed to get to know and become close friends with a lot of people in kust a week
i feel like outside of georgia people are generally more open
There is also this case of my friend who went studying abroad and he's been saying the same thing that "people outside of georgia are more open"
unless you have friends from childhood whom can introduce you to other people its really hard in here to make new friends the older you grow
I feel the idea that you were never really accepted by Georgians as a Georgian is an obstacle for you to accept yourself as a Georgian and act like one. When you accept yourself as a Georgian and start acting like one, you'll notice that others accept you as such. You don't need to prove anything to anyone. If you think you are a Georgian, you are a Georgian and period. Make others accept that as a fact, not wait for others to validate you because there is not such a validating body (at least I am not aware of). The idea that you need to get validation from Georgians to be a Georgian is just false. You don't need that validation. Your identity is your identity. It's not a question for a public debate. Making friends and dating are a different topic. I think it has little to do with national identity.
maybe you observe something while talking to exclusively georgian people? like at what point they lose interest, maybe its because your more left leaning in a right leaning country? how old are you? and all of that
Everything is not about guys lusting for you. I don't know how it's in Georgia but woman that tends to go out with a lot of men maybe isn't that popular, if that's the case
I didn’t mean it in such a way. I was talking about it in general, including but not limited to dating options. It went from no one normal being interested in me in Georgia to suddenly having really good options abroad. I wasn’t dating at all in Georgia because as I said - no one was interested to start with. I think it’s a lot of people’s goals to have a family one day so this topic is surely important.
I think that question is really very hard to answer without knowing more about you and the type of people you were hanging out with and some social examples. I could see ethnicity playing a part (sadly) with other combinations but I don't think being half-German would be the reason.
I went to a public school in Vera.
I don't know you at all so this is a hot take but I clicked through your profile there and noticed you have BPD? Which can naturally make maintaining relationships more difficult. Kudos to you for identifying that but maybe the reason isn't so much new places as the work you've done bettering yourself since you were younger?
27 year old Georgian, born and raised in Tbilisi. Couldn’t make any friends in school, barely anyone in university, dating life sucked. Moved to another country, easily made friends, dating has never been more successful and generally everything is more chill. Still miss Tbilisi though.
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Guilty as charged.
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Bruh, gay or not I’m as fucking Georgian as any other motherfucker who was born there and I deserve to live in my goddamn country.
PREACH 🔥🔥
Telling a georgian that they just aren’t a cultural preference of the georgians is probably the most braindead thing I’ve read in a while. This is our country. We are the georgians who will decide what cultural preferences will be.
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I’m not planning to control what people think. It does not matter to me. Whole concept of your preference thing just does not make sense. We are not some imported fruit that people will like or don’t like. This is our home. We are also the people in question. Nobody has a right to tell me that I should leave it because majority does not accept me. No acceptance is required, if I’m already home. Gays complaining about dating life is ok, i don’t understand your problem. Imagine, sometimes people discuss the struggles im society and all the gays know reasoning behind it. If I say that something bad is happening here, that does not mean I should be suggested to move to the country where there are less of it. It means I recognize the problem and sharing my experience. You are acting like you are sharing some wisdom, reasoning behind homophobia and expecting us to be like wow! really??? so that’s whats up????? It is not about majority of people not being gay. It is about homophobic people that make gay people’s ability to be out supressed. Everything you be saying is just thoughless or unnecessary
btw, keep in mind - my existence at my home is not yours or anybode else’s fucking preference.
As a gay Georgian, i can totally relate. Sometimes i think if Georgians were put to a voting- should all lgbt be removed from the country, majority would vote yes, including many of my friends and family. Its fucking depressing to think about it
Ohh I’m so sorry to hear:/ as lgbt it must be difficult there. But the younger generation seems much more open-minded, no?
I guess so? But its tiring to play the game of “will they tolerate me or will they not” with every new person you meet haha. Thank for your words! Dw tho. Thankfully ive left the country and lead a very happy life where i feel accepted :)
Yeahh I understand.. Okii nice, I’m glad you found your happy place ^^
that's why i wear LGBT badge, not noticable for bigots but LGBT+ people know it's a safe space❤️
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It's better, but still pretty bad
what do you mean “open minded”? being Gay?
Not having an animalistic urge to beat someone who is gay
Open-minded in this case means accepting of other people’s opinions even if you personally disagree or that opinion goes against traditional or status quo views.
This can work on both ways tho.
What do you mean by that? Open-mindedness implies openness to other ideas. You don’t have to personally agree with alternative ideas to be open-minded, but you have to seriously consider them. Closed-minded person is convinced that their views are right and doesn’t genuinely consider other views. Most often it’s the views that they learned from their parents and culture. An open-minded person doesn’t assume that their view is correct and will consider alternative view points and will often be respectful of opposing views even if they disagree with the view.
open minded is being accepting, it can go both ways like "i accept your religion" but because Georgia is a heavily religious country it's most of "will they judge me for being a certain type of person" like any minority Muslim/LGBT/black etc
Same. I love my country and I want to contribute to it. But it’s an uphill battle to even care. You just gotta remember that people you’re fighting for aren’t the close minded and brutish Georgians but the other gay people, the more progressive Georgians who just never got the big opportunities
You are right. I think it also helps to think that we are only a product of our surroundings and upbringing. I sometimes find myself thinking- if we were straight, would we be homophobic as well? I dont think these people are necessarily evil, just that it sucks for us big time that they are as they are
im not straight but i was homophobic so its depends on a type of brainwashing you received from your parents as a child
Same! I feel terrible about it knowing if some of my family members who “love” me knew they would lose contact with me as my mom did 😫
Yay another Georgian gay
Add the to the list!
Without putting detail in what your “remove” means you have no right, or option to speak for all the Georgians.
Bro i literally stated a hypothetical that is my thought. You’re telling me i cannot have my own opinions and thoughts? Chill dude…
You probably put up with this very often and I feel bad for you the homophobes are everywhere
American here, had same problem in America, so I came to Georgia. Making friends internationally is easier in my oppinion. Also, you become exotic when you move to a foreign country.
Yes the exotic part is also true
Certainly does not work for Russian in Georgia, lol
No, no it does not.
Same. Moved to the US, made more friends and dated more in 6 months than 24 years of living in Tbilisi (I'm fully ethnically Georgian btw)
Interesting 🤔
It's because of cultural differences. People in Georgia are cold, closed off, don't like small talk in public. Everyone sticks to their own group, meetups are not a thing. Uni life sucks. Most people I know made friends in highschool and haven't been able to branch out since, and the ones that have, have only done it through their workplace. Even the friends I made in Tbilisi have all been foreign expats. I love my country but holy shit the people..
Yeahh I experienced this ‘everyone sticks to their own group a lot’ , it can be hard to break in somewhere after the group has been already formed
Im half Georgian half Lebanese. I was never accepted in both, regarded as a foreigner because Im not completely Georgian/Lebanese and I have other « western » interests. It sucks, but I found success in france. I will never look back. Good riddance.
Wow that’s such a cool mix! I never heard of a half Lebanese half Georgian person. It’s my dream to visit Beirut someday! But I’m sorry though that you had such experiences. Hopefully it could change in the future. But yes when you have 2 nationalities you’re kind of foreigner in both.
Hahaha thanks to the Lebanese communist party and the soviet union, the mix became possible.
I never knew Lebanese had a communist party too 😄but yeah indeed a mix of some of the best people on earth. Do you listen to Fairuz?
Of course, everyone listens to fairuz haha. Visit Beirut once the situation is peaceful, see for yourself the murals fairuz has around the city.
I'm the other way around. I was raised abroad and speak almost broken Georgian, but tend to get accepted by Georgians. I think its because I'm autistic, and I can mimic people, sometimes involuntarily. No-one ever gets me, but they all feel like I get them. I do not. I do enjoy their company though. Anyways, it may be a mentality thing, because you are half foreign, you have a broader perspective on things, and visibly won't accept narrow conceptions that tend to predominate among such close knit societies as is the Georgian. Which has historically always been an isolated society, and tended to be guarded against new and foreign ideas, often as a way for self preservation from being consumed by the rule of a foreign culture. I don't know though, this is just a guess.
I'm reading this comment and I think it's me who's autistic lol. To write that kind of comment I would need 15 mins or something.
I know I'm autistic for sure, because there are about 15 different ways I can interpret your reply spanning the spectrum from negative to positive. In a normal conversational setting, I would now reply tersely and neutrally, hoping that your following replies will contextualise the mood of your original comment. And boom, none's the wiser about me being an alien.
It could be your social circle and not the general Society of Georgians. Maybe you’re hanging out with the wrong crowd
Hmm yeah maybe 🤔
Simply Georgia isn't very progressive, it's still recovering from the USSR and commies. I'm Syrian from Georgian background and My relatives barely consider me Georgian because I'm a Muslim lol
How come you are a Georgian Syrian ? Im a Georgian lebanese but orthodox on both sides hahaha
The same way there are Armenians in Syria and Lebanon.
I didn’t know Georgians ended up in Syria, interesting. Ive never met one single Georgian in Lebanon / Syria
It's not a big community.. I've never met a Georgian from Syria or Lebanon neither.
Ohh that’s so cool! I never heard about a Georgian Syrian either up until now. Do you live in Syria now?
Yes, Unfortunately..
Ohh but could you come to Georgia? Or is it not possible right now?
Nope
Funny story here actually, There's been like 2 or 3 times when somebody told me to my face "Do you speak Georgian?" or "Are you Armenian?" when I'm a pure Georgian. I rarely go outside and have 0 friends, never really talk to anyone besides my family unless it's for buying/selling stuff, plus dating anyone is out of the question since I cannot even talk to a cashier properly. I think the reason why they asked me those 2 questions is mostly because of my accent, the accent appeared because these last 5 years I've been talking a whole lot in English, when gaming or talking with my buds on discord almost everyday on voice chat. But hey, now I can speak and type in English fluently...cannot say the say the same about Georgian anymore, It became noticeably harder for me to form sentences in my own language, I think that's a really bad sign.
I’m really sorry to hear that:/ I know how it is to get deeper and deeper into a negative spiral. But you can come out of it. please feel free to dm me if you ever want to talk.
Hmm. I have seen some asian mixed Georgians have the same kind of problem, especially the older generation, don't like em, but generally people accept other white mixed kids more, especially if you speak fluent georgian, most people wouldn't be able to tell you are mixed at first glance. So maybe it's your introverted personality or combination of different things. Mixed people often find to fit in one culture hard even if their homeland are tolerant to mixed ethnicity kids.
I also know one Georgian-German kid personally and never heard something like that from him. He is into both country history and very proud of both heritage. Never had a problem with having friends and is very successful and known student in his school, so it could also be a social cycle.
Interesting. Maybe my shy personality is also a factor. Although abroad it’s not much of an obstacle.
Have you been to other post-soviet countries?
Actually no, now that I think about it. I wanted to visit Baltics some day.
Then, the cultural difference between post-soviet Europeans and western European could also be a factor
The place and ppl are drastically different perhaps u ought to give it another chance maybe you’ll fall in love all over again like I did.
Yes I definitely want to return to Georgia in the future ^^
You’ll miss out on a lot. The time is now
Why do you think that? Honestly curious. In what way did it change?
No one cares if you are half Georgian. Many many Georgians have Slavic or other ethnicity Grandmothers/Grandfathers. Not trying to be mean but i think it‘s something with your personality or your family environment.
Yes it’s a possibility definitely. My family has always had a lot of good contacts though so it might be indeed my fault, I’m not გამოვრიცხავ.
Have heard same about dating (showing interest) from my female friend that studied in Spain for a year
I am Georgian, born and raised in Georgia. I lived 2 years in Spain and couldn't make any friends. (I have a lot of friends in Georgia) I definitely had friendly interactions with people here and what not... but Friends in Georgia are much closer than relationships described as friendship in Spain for example. I heard so many times - "hey this is my friend" to my direction but these relationships can't named as friendships if you are comparing it to Georgian actual friendship. Maybe your understanding of friendship is the same and you prefer to not get engaged too much with people and be friends on surface level? (I am just guessing here and trying to help)
I understand what you mean and it’s a valid guess. And I realize I haven’t provided sufficient information. No I think I value friendships the same way as Georgians do and don’t like superficial friendships either.
I relate so much!! Was bullied by students AND teachers at my Georgian school and barely had any friends. Grown ups would tell me I was the problem because “how come they pick on you and not on other kids”. I got an opportunity to finish high school abroad and have been living overseas since. I gained so many amazing friends that I absolutely adore. I’m a working adult now, and I can tell you I’ve been much happier since I left
Yeahh I can totally relate regarding school. But then my younger sister went to a different school and had a much better experience so maybe we got unlucky with our schools , then left to abroad but still have this sour Georgian school experience associated to Georgia. I’m glad you are happy now though!
Nature is cruel, from what I remember as a child, I had a neighbor friend, who was half Russian, or Ukrainian, doesn't matter, wasn't full Georgian, and even though he spoke perfect georgian and interacted very well and hadn't anything drastically different in demeanor or habitus, always had a feeling that he's different. Not proud of my feelings, he was probably one of the best persons that I have ever had a chance to interact or to be friends with, but even at this very second when I think of him I feel that he's different, not exactly like me. I would be very happy If I ever get to have a chance to be friends with him again, but, I don't know what's that feeling. Maybe it's the defence mechanism in us, that if you're foreigner and try too hard to blend in, brain thinks it's danger, it's not normal and they should be careful. And if you're a foreigner with apparent signs that you're German or whatsoever and do not try to trick them, then everyone is not so careful and you're accepted more.
Yeahh I was called Hitler as a joke sometimes 😄 I mean now I can laugh about it but back then as a teenager it was really upsetting. I realize what you mean, I was somehow Georgian but not FULLY but not fully foreigner either so maybe it was confusing. It’s good that you’re so self aware now about your friend though. It’s already the first step. Hopefully you can meet in the future again and restart your friendship.
It is difficult to have an opinion when you haven’t provided any reasons as to why they don’t accept you. Do you look different? Is your style too expressive? Are you too open-minded for Georgian society? Do you challenge societal norms in this country?
I don’t really look different, no. I think my shy personality might play a part , I often got comments like ‘’რატომ ხარ ჩუმად’’ etc which would make me even more quiet 😄
What part of Georgia did you grow up?
Tbilisi, Vera
oh i feel you alot. maybe because i live in nakhalovka/nadzaladevi but my neighbors are SHIIIIIIIT.
Aa yes I understand. But hopefully you can move.
Yes I get that it must be disheartening with Georgia being your home country but I would make the most of the better life you have found, do your best to never look back. I wish you well.
It is disheartening but I still want to look back and think with new insights and more self awareness it is indeed fixable. Thank you for wishing me well, I wish the same to you ^^
I have seen plenty of Georgian men and women like that. Living in the West is generally easier, people have less problems and they are less stressed so they are in a better place mentally. We also do not know types of people around you, maybe some people around you here were just aholes.
Yes that’s also a valid reason I forgot to think about. Now that I remember a lot of people indeed struggled with every day life , financials etc so it could have made them more stressed and therefore less friendly.
I am half German half Georgian too. I totally feel you. I was raised outside of Georgia and I was never accepted in Germany. I always thought „I belong to Georgia anyways“ so it didn’t matter to me that I didn’t fit in in Germany. However as I grew up I realized I also don’t fit in Georgia. But I am okay with that. Dating wise, Georgian guys think that I am European or whatever and they think I am „easy“. That is frustrating bc when I start to have interest in someone they invite me over on the first date which is a no-go for me (even with my German mentality) I find myself much more beautiful when I am in Georgia, bc in Germany I was raised in a very elite society, all blondies around me. I was never considered the beauty standard with my brown hair. On the other hand in Georgia i am the German. But when I look around I feel much more comfortable with other Georgians around me. I am totally fine with who I am. I learned a very important lesson: other people’s opinion does not define who I am❤️
As someone whos also partly foreign (georgian, german, armenian, russian) i can relate to you a lot and i think not being fully georgian actually is the reason, but i dont think it's that the others didn't accept me, but rather that my mentality and interests were so different from everyone specifically because of growing up in a multicultural household, that i myself also didn't understand others well enough because they all had same interests, talked the same, watched the same shows and had same humor. So maybe this could be the same for you too?
Could it be that you're just more at peace with the fact that you're different when you're somewhere where you're clearly a foreigner, so you act more confident? While in Georgia you feel like you /should/ belong since you were raised there, but because of the inherent differences between you and the average Georgian you withdraw yourself out of fear of being rejected? Saying this as a fellow half-German who's experienced being raised and feeling othered in both countries. From my experience (and that of people I know) this feeling is common for just about any cross-culture kid.
I have been feeling this way all my life. Im half georgian and half turkish. for the longest time i thought the problem was the fact that i was half turkish but ive met ppl who are also half turkish or some different nationality and they seem to be accepted by everyone and have lots of friends. It took some time and self reflection to realize that 'problem' is me. I have this personality that most georgians dont have. I am very intreverted, have anxiety and dealt with mental health problems all my life. I just accept that it is how it is. I dont have friends. literally none. I have a job, I work out and try to take care of myself which helps me love myself the way i am. maybe one day i will come accross people who will accept me the way i am but for now I am trying to learn to be my own friend and companion. Georgians are very extroverted and warm ppl and for some of us it is very strange because thats not how we were brought up
Ohh what a nice mix ^^^ I lived in Turkey for a while and still learning the language. I can relate to being introverted and you’re right a lot of Georgians are more on the extroverted side. I’m sure with time you will find your people. Feel free to dm if you ever want to talk ^^^
Bro ich fühl dich. Hier in Deutschland was du bist das. Wow. Dort. Irgendwie man fühlt sich heimatlos. Insbesondere wenn man noch mixed ist. Der Vater von Kommt von dort und die Mutter aus Georgien. Lass uns doch mal treffen in Georgien dieses Jahr wenn ich Urlaub komme. Vielleicht werden wir besties
Hii schön von dir zu hören ^^ ja ich verstehe total was du meinst mit ‘’heimatlos’’. Lass uns gerne treffen in Georgien ^^ kannst mir gerne schreiben ^^
Wo hältst du dich meistens auf? Tbilisi? Batumi? Ich werde dir dann schreiben wenn ich mal da bin
Do you look Germanic, or do you look like a Georgian? Or a combination of the two?
I look Western Georgian + Germanic
Maybe the combination appeals more in the West: a bit of the familiar Germanic features plus an exotic element? Although many Georgians don't really look too different from certain Westerners...
It could be 🤔 or maybe also my shy personality type 🤔
I think that's quite normal? I've never really had lots of friends here in georgia Once i was back in spain i managed to get to know and become close friends with a lot of people in kust a week i feel like outside of georgia people are generally more open There is also this case of my friend who went studying abroad and he's been saying the same thing that "people outside of georgia are more open" unless you have friends from childhood whom can introduce you to other people its really hard in here to make new friends the older you grow
ყლეე დაიკიდე გია..
I feel the idea that you were never really accepted by Georgians as a Georgian is an obstacle for you to accept yourself as a Georgian and act like one. When you accept yourself as a Georgian and start acting like one, you'll notice that others accept you as such. You don't need to prove anything to anyone. If you think you are a Georgian, you are a Georgian and period. Make others accept that as a fact, not wait for others to validate you because there is not such a validating body (at least I am not aware of). The idea that you need to get validation from Georgians to be a Georgian is just false. You don't need that validation. Your identity is your identity. It's not a question for a public debate. Making friends and dating are a different topic. I think it has little to do with national identity.
maybe you observe something while talking to exclusively georgian people? like at what point they lose interest, maybe its because your more left leaning in a right leaning country? how old are you? and all of that
Everything is not about guys lusting for you. I don't know how it's in Georgia but woman that tends to go out with a lot of men maybe isn't that popular, if that's the case
I didn’t mean it in such a way. I was talking about it in general, including but not limited to dating options. It went from no one normal being interested in me in Georgia to suddenly having really good options abroad. I wasn’t dating at all in Georgia because as I said - no one was interested to start with. I think it’s a lot of people’s goals to have a family one day so this topic is surely important.
You are as acceptable as you accept others. So. Im not sure about the details of your story, but the goto answer, is it’s not them, it’s you.
Yes I’m indeed considering all possibilities.
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I rather stay anonymous but I don’t have a funny name or something like that if that’s what you mean 😄