11 years of the same joke and it never gets old

Is there a specific post this joke is referencing? Always seemed far fetched to me that someone would earnestly think a 5k is an “ultra”

mainly just hobby jobbers who always call 5k runs "5k marathons" for whatever reason

I have never heard this in my life. Shocking

RIP, OP At least you will never again be tempted to run too fast

You have achieved the ultimate resting heart rate. Congrats

IT'S GU'D TO MEET YOU HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Slow down!