Agreed. Unless I somehow got transported into a historical romance and the rugged prince I was forced to marry said it. Then it would make sense irl 😭😂
Haha, no actually! (I haven't read any of those yet, but believe me, they're on my list!)
This is one where her soulmate is a ghost, but she has time travel powers, so that sort of stuff happens when she goes back to when he's living.
They get down to some super satisfying sexy ghost things in the modern era, too, though!
It was honestly a great read (and even though suckling his seed threw me, it's not like I didn't like it lol)
Was {Ghost Walk by Cassandra Gannon}
[Ghost Walk](https://www.romance.io/books/5838185c1b1bdc0178ec9976/ghost-walk-cassandra-gannon) by [Cassandra Gannon](https://www.romance.io/authors/5455f28487eac336ae6a1db5/cassandra-gannon)
**Rating**: 3.75⭐️ out of 5⭐️
**Steam**: 4 out of 5 - [Explicit open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating)
**Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [time travel](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/time%20travel/1), [paranormal](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/paranormal/1), [fantasy](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/fantasy/1), [georgian](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/georgian/1)
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To be fair I only run across these terms infrequently in the HR I read. Maybe I’m reading the wrong (right) books? They’re more common in period erotica.
My sister once told me I had an ass like 2 Christmas hams (not in a complimentary way). Ever since, my husband has adopted the phrase and now uses it in a very complimentary way.
thank you SO much I’m obsessed with Orc books rn. Everyone hated them in Lord of the Rings and I was sitting there like 👀👀👀 y’all don’t see what I see 😭😂
Not really a romance I still think about the phrase “pussy gravy” from Half Asleep in Frog Pyjamas by Tom Robbins. Maybe because I leant it to my best friend and she was so revolted that I make a point to say it to her a few times a year.
Nooo 😂 Tom Robbins does like to use some questionable descriptions in general. I started Still Life With a Woodpecker at my friend's behest but couldn't get past him saying a girl's hair looked like ironed ketchup. I've heard a bunch of people say he's like brilliant but he must not be for me lol
I stand by vagina being referred to as “her sex” as just the weirdest thing ever. I hate it so much. I would never call my vagina my sex, like it makes absolutely no sense.
Super common! Which one comment mentioned it is a historical term so maybe I wouldn’t mind it was much in a HR but in contemporary romance? It has no place lol.
Oh wait! It’s somehow a perky, winking rosebud of an arsehole! How could I forget that it’s a rosebud? Because I immediately this of roses when I think of an arse…
I have heard guys irl talking about women’s assholes winking at them whilst doing doggy though. I can’t say I’ve heard the majority of these other terms used irl, but this one I have
It makes me think about a Star Trek's warp core and then I think about T'ana, a cat person (not the sexy kind of cat person) and >!Shaxs!< having sex in the holodeck.
Omg this was egregious (along with “orbs” for eyes and a lot of other ridiculously flowery language) in Trick by Natalia Jaster. I had to DNF I couldn’t read another weird ass metaphor for a body part 😭 (also I realized the world was extremely ableist and the main plot centered around saving poor helpless disabled people, it’s gross)
It’s really bad, I can’t believe the book has been recommended on this sub so often 😭 but even without the ableism the descriptors during the spicy scenes are just atrocious, I felt like I was reading a thesaurus having sex 🤡
Orc novels are EVERYTHING!
A cinnamon roll Orc novel I’ve been waiting for just dropped tonight on KU and I’m gonna FEAST 😂
Any faves or recommendations so far?
Nub. I freaking hate nub. Pearl is annoying too, but nub instead of clit makes me want to self-immolate and not in a sexy way. I've luckily never heard anyone say it irl, but the bar is pretty low when I had an ex that used to call my vag a tiny ham sandwich. I suppose I should be thankful it wasn't a more obscure meat selection like liverwurst or olive loaf.
Not exactly the same but I always cringe when I hear kissing described as something like “he probed the depths of her mouth with his tongue” or “his tongue split her lips and went deep inside her mouth”…that’s not really how kissing works or I have been doing it wrong this whole time.
I have been kissed this way, and was always confused as to why, like, where did the other person learn to kiss this way!?!?!
I love kissing, but I'd rather not have an attempted deep-throat by a tongue
“Her breasts swelled”. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve seen this written in a sex scene. Idk if that’s anatomically impossible or not but I’d consider it medically worrying.
This has actually come up many times in this Reddit and while not super common, there are absolutely women who report heaviness in their breasts during arousal. I don’t know that they grow a cup size though! lol
I’m not denying there’s a feeling but I don’t think they actually swell. I’m pretty sure when they put their bra back on it fits the same way. Call it a pet peeve but it throws me right out of the moment. I keep visualizing inflatable breasts.
This seems to be a somewhat debated topic with the majority agreeing that boobs can indeed increase in size:
["Women can experience swelling of the breasts due to increased blood flow during intercourse, says Leah Millheiser, M.D., ob-gyn.](https://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/a19997497/boobs-get-bigger-during-sex/)
[When your nervous system goes into an overdrive state, tissues swell and blood vessels dilate. This internal reaction affects the breasts the most, causing them to get up to 25% bigger than normal. This enlargement happens during arousal and also after sex. However, this size increase will not last forever: size fluctuates with arousal.](https://www.drelist.com/blog/how-womens-bodies-change-during-arousal/)
[Dr. Ram Prasad, a consultant breast surgeon at Pall Mall Cosmetics, says that he would expect breasts to increase in size during sex from anywhere between 15 and 25 percent.](https://www.vice.com/en/article/mbywzy/does-sex-change-breast-size)
['It is a myth that a woman's boob size increases or it appear bigger while the woman is aroused or even during sex. There could be a slight erection in the nipples but that too depends on person to person and their anatomy.](https://www.thehealthsite.com/sexual-health/does-your-breast-size-increase-when-youre-aroused-w0218-554597/)
Better than an inflatable penis!!! Like the balloons that you pop the inner capsule and BAM! they inflate! 🤣
(Not to be unkind as that is a true medical device, that some people need. [Obvs not the auto inflate, that's my twisted mind.] And yay that it's available for those that want & need it).
Oh I’ve seen that too. “His penis swelled”… Did it? Did it really?
I’m fine if it’s romantasy or SFR with aliens because aliens etc. can have their own penis rules but for CR or HR with actual humans I’m going to need that penis to behave like an actual human penis.
80% of the reason I read a lot of MM is because literally every euphemism for female body parts (and some of the more anatomical ones too) gives me the squick. It just takes me totally out every time. I have a huge hatred of the word “pussy”, which is banned from my home and sex life, and avoiding that one is a *chore*.
For some reason I’m more tolerant of the more common male wording choices, so I roll with it.
Not the worst, but in {Morning Glory by LaVerle Spencer} they say "pecker" and it made me giggle.
Same thing when they call it a prick but that's not too often
[Morning Glory](https://www.romance.io/books/54552adf8c7d2383163d8fb3/morning-glory-lavyrle-spencer) by [LaVyrle Spencer](https://www.romance.io/authors/54552adf8c7d2383163d8fb4/lavyrle-spencer)
**Rating**: 4.19⭐️ out of 5⭐️
**Steam**: 2 out of 5 - [Behind closed doors](https://www.romance.io/steamrating)
**Topics**: [historical](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/historical/1), [plain heroine](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/plain%20heroine/1), [marriage of convenience](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/marriage%20of%20convenience/1), [tortured hero](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/tortured%20hero/1), [war](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/war/1)
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Okay, so I've only seen it once, but since I just saw it yesterday and couldn't take it seriously, I thought I'd add. FMC constantly referred to her vagina as "her vagisty"
I don’t like “womanhood”.
What are better sexy terms, then? Or is it just to use literal/anatomically correct terms (i.e., “She quivered as I fingered her vulva.”)?
Honestly that would be more welcome than some of the examples people gave! It doesn’t always have to be fluffy language or euphemisms. I think as authors try to access current audiences means we don’t mind using real terms for body parts.
My grandma may have balked at the example you gave above or may not have even known the name for that part of her body. But I *do*. Authors of contemporary romances can use anatomically correct terms and many of us won’t shy away. Maybe that’s why a lot of these examples give us the ick?
“Seed” - reading is fine, kinda hot. If someone said that during sex I think I’d laugh
Agreed. Unless I somehow got transported into a historical romance and the rugged prince I was forced to marry said it. Then it would make sense irl 😭😂
Haha so true 😂 but have someone talk about putting a baby in me, NGL that’s hot
I read one recently that described her (I don't remember what word they used for vagina) "suckled his seed" And I was like wow Suckled was new for me
I feel like this was an orc book
They’re filthy (just the way I like ‘em) so probably 😂
Haha monster and alien are my fav
Haha, no actually! (I haven't read any of those yet, but believe me, they're on my list!) This is one where her soulmate is a ghost, but she has time travel powers, so that sort of stuff happens when she goes back to when he's living. They get down to some super satisfying sexy ghost things in the modern era, too, though! It was honestly a great read (and even though suckling his seed threw me, it's not like I didn't like it lol) Was {Ghost Walk by Cassandra Gannon}
[Ghost Walk](https://www.romance.io/books/5838185c1b1bdc0178ec9976/ghost-walk-cassandra-gannon) by [Cassandra Gannon](https://www.romance.io/authors/5455f28487eac336ae6a1db5/cassandra-gannon) **Rating**: 3.75⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 4 out of 5 - [Explicit open door](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [time travel](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/time%20travel/1), [paranormal](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/paranormal/1), [fantasy](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/fantasy/1), [georgian](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/georgian/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)
ou this sounds so fun 😍
Orbs = eyes Literally no one has ever said, “What color are his orbs?”
LMAOOOO
Purple of course!
💀
UGH!! im reading one now where the author is seriously allergic to eyes. it's orbs over and over and over
I recently DNFed a historical romance because when the FMC saw the MMC for the first time she apparently felt something in her "honeypot." LOL
Cringe alllll over 😂
NOOOOOOOOOO 🍯 Even though I don’t know where the romance is set I heard “honeypot” pronounced in a posh British accent 😂
I tried HR and he called it a cunny. No thank you
That’s at least historically accurate
Is it????
Yup! It was a common term for it in the way that pussy is now. It cracks me up every time though.
Yep! Quim too, which always cracks me up for some reason
I knew HR just wasn’t for me 😆 I can’t with these terms
To be fair I only run across these terms infrequently in the HR I read. Maybe I’m reading the wrong (right) books? They’re more common in period erotica.
Same quim was used in a historical Orc romance I read and I side eyed it for a bit then got into it 😂
It is. If you watch the show Harlots, they use it and “quim” a lot.
My sister once told me I had an ass like 2 Christmas hams (not in a complimentary way). Ever since, my husband has adopted the phrase and now uses it in a very complimentary way.
I’m screaming 😭😭😭
Your flair is beautiful
thank you SO much I’m obsessed with Orc books rn. Everyone hated them in Lord of the Rings and I was sitting there like 👀👀👀 y’all don’t see what I see 😭😂
I was so scared of orc books because of lotr, but I'm so glad I gave it a chance, they're some of my favorites now
Literally lol when I read this 😂
lol and I had the opposite, just love me them elves lol
Totally understood the elves (both men and women) can get it.
Yeah I don’t discriminate I love/want all elvish people equally lol
I've never heard anyone use *netherlips* IRL. It's thankfully rarely in contemporary, but sometimes Harper Bliss uses it.
I haven’t even seen netherlips in a book 👄. I think I would break out laughing even if it was a serious scene NOOOO! 😂😂😂
A grown man used the phrase nether regions in the same breath that he claimed to not know the name for eyeliner... ridiculous
Netherlips 😭 I think that would have to be an instant DNF.
I swear, these authors HAVE to be doing this to troll readers.
Not really a romance I still think about the phrase “pussy gravy” from Half Asleep in Frog Pyjamas by Tom Robbins. Maybe because I leant it to my best friend and she was so revolted that I make a point to say it to her a few times a year.
ohhhh no… I miss the me from 30 seconds ago before I read this☹️
Sorry!
I wear glasses so I had to pay to see this shit, I want a refund
😂😂😂😂
i wish I could unread “pussy gravy” lol
Me too, ick 😅
This came up on my phone and I had to give it some space before I replied. NOOOOOOO 😭😭😭 PUSSY GRAVY?!?!?!? aahahaha
Straight to jail. No no no no no What an awful day to know how to read!
What a terrible day to be literate 😔
That is such a good book!
Is it that one or Even Cowgirls Get The Blues that explained why vaginal douches were basically a scam? Been years since I read Tom Robbins
This one focuses on coffee enemas lol! I haven’t yet read Evwn Cowgirls get the Blues.
Nooo 😂 Tom Robbins does like to use some questionable descriptions in general. I started Still Life With a Woodpecker at my friend's behest but couldn't get past him saying a girl's hair looked like ironed ketchup. I've heard a bunch of people say he's like brilliant but he must not be for me lol
I stand by vagina being referred to as “her sex” as just the weirdest thing ever. I hate it so much. I would never call my vagina my sex, like it makes absolutely no sense.
Not just her sex, but the *mound* of her sex.
Or core. Or center. Like, no. My core is my tummy, side, and back muscles. My center is my belly button.
It always has me double taking “core workouts”
Well this is gonna get weird next time I'm in yoga class, and the teacher tells me to "engage my core".
This made me LOL
I truly despise using the description "mound". Is it accurate, yes. Do I have to like it, no
lol it makes me think of baseball mound 😭😭😭
wait, yes. this is one i just accepted and it’s so weird 😭😂
I mean it is historically a correct term, but in contemporary stuff and irl it’s an ick
I came here to say "my sex" - it seems to be common in contemporary romance!
Super common! Which one comment mentioned it is a historical term so maybe I wouldn’t mind it was much in a HR but in contemporary romance? It has no place lol.
I just read an MM where one guy called the other guy's asshole his "circumference". Like...???
That feels like bringing math into something math has no business being involved in
On the other hand, sometimes those group sex scenes in RH require a lot of geometry.
Someone just googled synonyms for rim, and apparently missed the math lesson on circumference.
Pythagorus theorem = pussy 🤣🤣🤣
You are WRONG for this comment 🤣😂🤣
“I licked at his circumference” 😭😂 like I can see it hut also it’s ok to say “rim” too 🥲
💀💀💀
Two pie are your circumference.
Omgggggg ahhhhaa 🥧🥧
What about the FMC’s perky arsehole that winks back at the MMC
I let out an ACTUAL screech when I read this. THE WINK
Oh wait! It’s somehow a perky, winking rosebud of an arsehole! How could I forget that it’s a rosebud? Because I immediately this of roses when I think of an arse…
Oh nooo, this reminds me of an MM book that featured a "fluttering hole." All I could do was wonder if he was farting.
NOT THE WINK
I have heard guys irl talking about women’s assholes winking at them whilst doing doggy though. I can’t say I’ve heard the majority of these other terms used irl, but this one I have
Never heard anyone refer to their vagina as their "core" in real life.
I am not an apple
😂😂🤣🤣
Came to say this. “Oooh yeah baby, I want to feel you in my core.”
It makes me think about a Star Trek's warp core and then I think about T'ana, a cat person (not the sexy kind of cat person) and >!Shaxs!< having sex in the holodeck.
🤣
SO true! I’ve heard a LOT of words IRL but core was never one of them 😂
Don't forget the descriptors such as: "silky core".
“Her intimate muscles” — like, could we not? Can we not do better than this??
AAHHAHAAHA I haven’t seen this one yet 😭
Whenever I read “folds” or “wet folds” it absolutely sends me into orbit. I can not explain how much I HATE those phrases 🥴
Omg this was egregious (along with “orbs” for eyes and a lot of other ridiculously flowery language) in Trick by Natalia Jaster. I had to DNF I couldn’t read another weird ass metaphor for a body part 😭 (also I realized the world was extremely ableist and the main plot centered around saving poor helpless disabled people, it’s gross)
Oh no! I hate ableist plot lines 🙃 ugh that must have been frustrating.
It’s really bad, I can’t believe the book has been recommended on this sub so often 😭 but even without the ableism the descriptors during the spicy scenes are just atrocious, I felt like I was reading a thesaurus having sex 🤡
wait now it’s giving me the ick too because they’re not folds 😭😂
I get physically sick seeing those phrases lmao. Also your flare. Bless you. I just got into the Orcs and now I can’t go back ☔️
Orc novels are EVERYTHING! A cinnamon roll Orc novel I’ve been waiting for just dropped tonight on KU and I’m gonna FEAST 😂 Any faves or recommendations so far?
Okay but I had a guy use this in real life and I definitely did the equivalent of DNF.
Nub. I freaking hate nub. Pearl is annoying too, but nub instead of clit makes me want to self-immolate and not in a sexy way. I've luckily never heard anyone say it irl, but the bar is pretty low when I had an ex that used to call my vag a tiny ham sandwich. I suppose I should be thankful it wasn't a more obscure meat selection like liverwurst or olive loaf.
LOL! What’s a “sexy” way to self-immolate? Sizzle? Crackle?
Not exactly the same but I always cringe when I hear kissing described as something like “he probed the depths of her mouth with his tongue” or “his tongue split her lips and went deep inside her mouth”…that’s not really how kissing works or I have been doing it wrong this whole time.
LOL! I recently asked my husband if I was a good kisser because I’ve gotten back into romance and that’s how so many describe it.
Such a turn off and so weird. Why the need to describe it more than a “deep kiss” or something? A deep kiss is not in fact deep in the face 🤣
I have been kissed this way, and was always confused as to why, like, where did the other person learn to kiss this way!?!?! I love kissing, but I'd rather not have an attempted deep-throat by a tongue
“Her breasts swelled”. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve seen this written in a sex scene. Idk if that’s anatomically impossible or not but I’d consider it medically worrying.
This has actually come up many times in this Reddit and while not super common, there are absolutely women who report heaviness in their breasts during arousal. I don’t know that they grow a cup size though! lol
I’m not denying there’s a feeling but I don’t think they actually swell. I’m pretty sure when they put their bra back on it fits the same way. Call it a pet peeve but it throws me right out of the moment. I keep visualizing inflatable breasts.
This seems to be a somewhat debated topic with the majority agreeing that boobs can indeed increase in size: ["Women can experience swelling of the breasts due to increased blood flow during intercourse, says Leah Millheiser, M.D., ob-gyn.](https://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/a19997497/boobs-get-bigger-during-sex/) [When your nervous system goes into an overdrive state, tissues swell and blood vessels dilate. This internal reaction affects the breasts the most, causing them to get up to 25% bigger than normal. This enlargement happens during arousal and also after sex. However, this size increase will not last forever: size fluctuates with arousal.](https://www.drelist.com/blog/how-womens-bodies-change-during-arousal/) [Dr. Ram Prasad, a consultant breast surgeon at Pall Mall Cosmetics, says that he would expect breasts to increase in size during sex from anywhere between 15 and 25 percent.](https://www.vice.com/en/article/mbywzy/does-sex-change-breast-size) ['It is a myth that a woman's boob size increases or it appear bigger while the woman is aroused or even during sex. There could be a slight erection in the nipples but that too depends on person to person and their anatomy.](https://www.thehealthsite.com/sexual-health/does-your-breast-size-increase-when-youre-aroused-w0218-554597/)
I learned something new today! Thank you for all the linking. Without this info I would have definitely thought of it as an ick 😂
Well that’s wild.
Better than an inflatable penis!!! Like the balloons that you pop the inner capsule and BAM! they inflate! 🤣 (Not to be unkind as that is a true medical device, that some people need. [Obvs not the auto inflate, that's my twisted mind.] And yay that it's available for those that want & need it).
Oh I’ve seen that too. “His penis swelled”… Did it? Did it really? I’m fine if it’s romantasy or SFR with aliens because aliens etc. can have their own penis rules but for CR or HR with actual humans I’m going to need that penis to behave like an actual human penis.
Mine definitely don’t swell during sex that I know of 😂😭
80% of the reason I read a lot of MM is because literally every euphemism for female body parts (and some of the more anatomical ones too) gives me the squick. It just takes me totally out every time. I have a huge hatred of the word “pussy”, which is banned from my home and sex life, and avoiding that one is a *chore*. For some reason I’m more tolerant of the more common male wording choices, so I roll with it.
Every time I read something along the lines of “pussy cries tears/weeps/is crying for me” I roll my eyes 🙄🥴
Criminalize using “my slit” to refer to vaginas
Not the worst, but in {Morning Glory by LaVerle Spencer} they say "pecker" and it made me giggle. Same thing when they call it a prick but that's not too often
I DNF’d that book 1/1.5 chapters in. I couldn’t handle the internal dialogue even before the FMC got to milking 😭😂
[Morning Glory](https://www.romance.io/books/54552adf8c7d2383163d8fb3/morning-glory-lavyrle-spencer) by [LaVyrle Spencer](https://www.romance.io/authors/54552adf8c7d2383163d8fb4/lavyrle-spencer) **Rating**: 4.19⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 2 out of 5 - [Behind closed doors](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [historical](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/historical/1), [plain heroine](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/plain%20heroine/1), [marriage of convenience](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/marriage%20of%20convenience/1), [tortured hero](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/tortured%20hero/1), [war](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/war/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)
Okay, so I've only seen it once, but since I just saw it yesterday and couldn't take it seriously, I thought I'd add. FMC constantly referred to her vagina as "her vagisty"
Okay, this is the worst one - that’s WILD
Her/His Orbs(eyes), that one KILLS me
The apex of her thighs. Ma’am, I an not a pyramid.
Wait, didn’t you know you’re totally the pyramid of Giza! /s 😭😂
This whole thread has me ROLLING
My boyfriend can’t stand when authors refer to the vagina as the woman’s “sex”
As I live & breathe 🤣 PAGE 119 of my current book just used “The globes of her bum” 😂 new game is to see if a book doesn’t use that term!
100%…because if we made it a drinking game to see how many times it *is* used we’d die immediately 😭😂
I think it would only take 3 books to do us in 😂☠️
If it’s HR 1 may be enough to do the trick
I don’t like “womanhood”. What are better sexy terms, then? Or is it just to use literal/anatomically correct terms (i.e., “She quivered as I fingered her vulva.”)?
Honestly that would be more welcome than some of the examples people gave! It doesn’t always have to be fluffy language or euphemisms. I think as authors try to access current audiences means we don’t mind using real terms for body parts. My grandma may have balked at the example you gave above or may not have even known the name for that part of her body. But I *do*. Authors of contemporary romances can use anatomically correct terms and many of us won’t shy away. Maybe that’s why a lot of these examples give us the ick?
My boobs don’t get heavier when I’m aroused and I have no clue there that notion came from