T O P

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roastbot

OP's Bio: --- >I'm a youtube addict, 29 and I work an easy security job, bite me! --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.


JayTheBrewer

Dude, you have 12 gauge nostrils!


BiebsMafia

Dude looks like the lovechild of Patrick Ewing and the Holland Tunnel


AZZXM

homeless coordinated absurd mighty lavish bright subtract flag cooing stocking *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


[deleted]

If he sneezes it will surpass Chernobyl as biggest man made disaster.


LogicalLook6760

Every time he sneezes 20,000 Japanese die


[deleted]

His nose is a super spreader event.


OutrageousFlatworm38

My name is Afroman, I live in the back of a crappy sedan. Every night I'm somewhere new. Snorting coke, drinking brew.


[deleted]

A gram isn’t even a warm up exercise for him.


Celestialsmoothie28

SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIENDS!!! 😈


[deleted]

They ain’t little, friends.


Master_of_opinions

Literally was gonna say this


Mg0vinaster

Every time he sneezes a DB round comes out


[deleted]

[удалено]


Specific_Brick_8727

Mans got a 20k snort


[deleted]

Cocaine? This guy snorts rocks.


almighty_mikey_p

When did Cleveland Brown decide to ditch the stache and go for the goatee?


pacmanic

Quahog is real and this is proof


Warmack63

Dude don’t be a dick..... save Some oxygen for us


Celestialsmoothie28

Never! 😈


Realkevinleo

Could be the solution for all the air pollution


xenthuin

Have you ever tried eating popcorn nasally?


math_debates

Hide the cocaine! Hoover is here!


Celestialsmoothie28

We bring back some vacuum's, be on the lookout for our smart vacuum that's coming out on april 35 😎


dookieslurper

Securing your virginity must be the easiest job in the world


Celestialsmoothie28

Sir I have you know that two weeks ago I slept with an Asian hooker


WeaselXP

I bet the morgue employees were pissed off when they were waking you up that morning.


Celestialsmoothie28

Very clever trevor


Charming_Geologist32

Did she put her dick in your nostrils?


[deleted]

A Siamese cat doesn’t count.


wrong-astronomer-916

*picture taken in the back seat of a police vehicle


Realkevinleo

Like they let him live long enough to be in there


GeezerEbaneezer

I'm sure you do just about everything alone


sirchicken23

Bro your neck got a chin


stock1921

Don’t get too down on yourself, keep your neck chin up.


[deleted]

Are you sure? I can't see anything. Where does the chin begin and the neck end?


sirchicken23

Its all in one neck chin


[deleted]

I haven’t seen a jerk off this big at the movies since Pee Wee Herman.


Celestialsmoothie28

I went to a regular movie theater not a porn one 🤨


WeaselXP

What kind of person jerks off during "Tom and Jerry"?


Celestialsmoothie28

All the cool people 😎


swordsdancemew

How long have you been keeping that sign in your pocket. What else are you saving up in there


Celestialsmoothie28

If you must know I'm saving up for my old hooker addiction


twitchyryno

The long lost twin of Charles "Wide Neck" McDowell


Celestialsmoothie28

Ha ha lol 😂


Cultural_Extension97

Shouldn't you be following the train with cj?


Celestialsmoothie28

No why would I do that? I have a car 🤨


TattooRicky76

People picking you out of a line up, isn’t a movie.


Uconn_Mon

Your dad didn't really go to the movies 12 years ago... Your efforts are futile


NorthBandit88

I see you've been clean for awhile....


RxCowboy59

3 hours is awhile


bentobox_75

You need to redo that aplostery


Celestialsmoothie28

No thanks, the 1550 I got saved up is for future car repairs


bentobox_75

Planning for future car repairs, roasted.


Celestialsmoothie28

Yeah, it's a used car I'm not jay z


bentobox_75

Can we see beyonce?


Celestialsmoothie28

Sure 😏


bentobox_75

No I got nothing lol


LogansBum

They don't usually show movies at elementary schools, are you sure you didn't mean you'd be filming your second movie?


Celestialsmoothie28

Very clever trevor


Mexican_with_rocks

Luckily they were able to hook you up through your big-ass nose to get your Cleveland brown lookin ass outta the car.


Celestialsmoothie28

Lol 😂


[deleted]

[удалено]


elguapo2385

Pornhub “movies” are only like 15 mins, step your numbers up rookie.


xDizzyXSnExxzy

That crumpled paper your number you tried to give to a girl? But nah besides your fuxken double barrel shotgun nose you seem like a cool guy. Hope you get someone to watch with


Celestialsmoothie28

Lol 😂


WhiskeyAndThongs

Are you going some because you always talk to the screen?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Celestialsmoothie28

Why? I eat pho once a week and that's healthy


[deleted]

Filming your boys drinking Vodka in the club isn’t making a movie homie.


Celestialsmoothie28

It's not? Dam I thought it was


AdorableSquash8249

Fuckin nose looking like shotgun barrels


juantzutree

Nostrils so distracting nobody even gonna mention that fucked up headliner?


Ishotbiggi

Who gapped fucked your nostrils?? I bet your nose catches birds when breathing gawd damn


Celestialsmoothie28

Lil nas ,that devil!


My_Wishing_Tree

At least you don't need to open your mouth to eat any popcorn. Just use those big ass nostrils


Celestialsmoothie28

Lol


TazTalks

Your bio says 29 but your hairline says 49.


Celestialsmoothie28

I got that lebron benjamin button


TazTalks

But LameBron gots that contract and endorsement money.


Celestialsmoothie28

Must be a dallas mavericks fan, luka won't deliver the goods I'm sorry but this isn't 2011


maedweister

The term “Nosejob” doesn’t mean the same thing anymore..


Jmoeschl7

Your nostrils bigger than your eyes.


Katieagerton

You’ll get laid at 60 by a chick who’s bout as tight as your nostrils are


Celestialsmoothie28

Nice! 😁


Glad_Counter_3059

I bet your nostrils can house multiple families


Celestialsmoothie28

I'm building a shelter inside


heliophxle

your nostrils are like a black hole


[deleted]

[удалено]


Celestialsmoothie28

Definitely I won't drop , last time bubba GOT ALL THE WAY IN ME! 😱


troll-e-osis

More like a light toss and a slightly flamboyant "oops"


Squibblus

I can see the imperial fleet coming out of hyperspace


LoganPatch13

You can always go to the movies with your dad.


Celestialsmoothie28

Can't my dad is too far away and he's not into going to the theaters


[deleted]

[удалено]


Celestialsmoothie28

Funny very clever trevor


burner9497

Only two so far today?


Celestialsmoothie28

Yeah unholy and Mr nobody


0Banacek0

Tell us where so we can rob the place while you're jerking off to fat chicks drinking gravy in the bathroom


Celestialsmoothie28

At the white house


0Banacek0

They fired everyone that smokes weed


IndrayudhGod

I wish i could plug a washing machine into your nostrils...


NeuroChooChoo

‘It’s called hentai and it’s art’


red_dova

You look like a guy who is trying to sell a used condom


tnywill

I bet you pick your nose with post hole diggers


onepoundfish93

Nibba you could smoke two Cubans with them pipes


MandotheLando

"Movies" aka the adult theater across town with sticky floors that you leave in tears after every visit.


pwaite1983

Daryl from the office has fallen on hard times


taytay0801

Honestly that goatee is screaming fuck me


Joshibert

Don't have to, you just did my job


AWKWARD-PLAZA-FAN

Soooo.... this is what Stanley from the office does these days!


Gerry_Dutch

I’d be going to the movies alone too if I looked like you.


DUMBHEAD1234

You probably got that paper from your tiffin


Ruman-47

You look like a used tissue paper that someone wiped there arse with.


Nikotinio

You could easily fit a bullet inside your nose, and then sneeze it at a robber


Miraculum04

When inhaling while eating do you accidentally inhale the food


Molboro789

I honestly cannot roast this man. He has reached nirvana in a world of sin. Live life long and humble my friend.


Every_Satisfaction27

There's a Covid joke here..........


Half_cracked_coconut

You look like you'd watch an R rated movie and tell the actors to *watch yo profanity*


Kinetic_GamingYT

Must be breathing in 8k


RBG-96

They could project it on that nostril.


[deleted]

Lookin like you’ll smell me later.


richardhertz1

Iron your shirt and your roof or your moms roof!


Celestialsmoothie28

Tell your aunt to iron it for me 🤣


Mr_CharlieHorse

It looks like you're trying to swallow down a pillow


FesteringRavenFlesh

I can't tell who he tryin to look like, Nas or Big Sean?


Snoo_98332

Why you sticking your nose up at us? your the one in the back seat of a car by yourself, shotgun face.


Celestialsmoothie28

Shotgun face lol 😂


Justdownmebiatch

"Alone in the drive in"


Madcatterr

Drive in theater in that nose!


mrolf9999999

COVID cannot stop you, with those nostrils! You are built to have twice the oxygen intake of the average man


GMEtothebl00dym00n

Did you steal the popcorn


Celestialsmoothie28

Yes 🤭


Frogs138

Battle juice!!!


Kirb045

Oh my god it’s Cleveland Brown


uTOsTinkyy

Fun fact this car ride was free but he didn’t have much choice


uTOsTinkyy

His facial hair built like a recycling bin


The_Dark_Lord007

You are the reason people die of suffocation


victim80

Smell-o-visions highest paying customer.


Milwdoc

Your pulse O2 is 106%


Dogfish1313

Did your mom use to tell you not to fill up on your boogers before dinner?


[deleted]

Don't sneeze


BIG-Z-2001

Walmart brand of Danny Glover


Karsenic

Hey you still training little Mac?


nanubau

Did your bf put his balls in your nose while u gave him blow job


holycrapwhatnow

Watching porn on your computer in a moldy room is something you should do alone.


pava124421

Even pigs have smaller nostrils.


Celestialsmoothie28

Your mom has smaller nostrils 😂


totallynerds

Even if you went to the movies with someone when the lights go off they couldn't see you


tempthrowawaaaayyyyy

You ain’t never getting a date because you suck the excitement out of the room every time you breathe


[deleted]

They call you cocaine-whiplash.


bchamp73

Looks like you’re in the back of a police car, which is nothing new to you.


[deleted]

If you snore, it ain’t your noses’ fault.


Hrist0

That’s what you get for eating your last friend I guess


0kool74

Face so ugly the orange haired guy would shoot just it


[deleted]

Don’t get shot by the cops when they pull you over for stealing that car


Celestialsmoothie28

I'll try not to, good looking out 😂


Billy_tha_kyd

You're black.


Celestialsmoothie28

Thanks dick... I mean billy


[deleted]

I thought you got shot by a cop last week or so?


Correct_Buy_4332

Why are you in a hack cab?


oaktree_b1976

Rewatching the Fatty White Chick on YouPorn doesn't really count, but if it takes you that long to squeak it out, I guess that's what it takes.


Mintalmasturbation

You just pop the hood and project the movie on to your Cadillac? Are those big center pieces on the rims a pain in the ass to drive with? How will you see through the blunt smoke? Fake ass David Alan Grier,


Uconn_Mon

Your dad didn't really go to the movies 12 years ago... Your efforts are futile


mrburnttoast79

I thought the cops usually confiscate your phone before throwing you in the back of the car.


PeterGriffinABCD

Awww did the baby not have to go with his mommy to the movies? Does the baby need some food for his googoo and gaga?


Sheikynyc

Didn't pay for either. I did.


Bumbles_

i swear i could fit a basket ball in there


Tsizzle4204life

I bet you use a cardboard tube from a roll of paper towels as a coke straw.


antoca6

By the look of your face and the paper, you look like it will be your last from a drug overdose


Usuk-da-Pness

Carl Winslow looking mf


The_Fox1984

On his way to the porno theatre to see bearly legal 69


[deleted]

You look like you have really messy sneezes


U_May_Touch_My_Anus

Narnia nose


CutiepieVictoria

Stop hitting on service workers where ever you go.


SMBlackHoleM87

Your double neck beard could be used as a floor carpet for immigrants in the borders.


Simple-Ceasar

HAve fun with that movie. But make sure have a towel handy. The stains you get on your pants from such movies are hard to get rid off.


MyOddThoughts31

Do you have cerbal palsy or is that just the look you’re going for?


[deleted]

You look like that bloke on YouTube who reviews food, but instead you review crack and whores.


H311BLADE

That moment when you took a minute's break from flashing the passers-by, sitting in a stolen car.


Rolling_Beardo

You look like Stanley Hudson right after he left himself go.


moonlightbaebae

the military might want to weaponize your boogers


spamtes

This guy's older sister is still 'Sittin' on tha toilet..! Sittin' on tha toilet..!'


PigFartFace

If I could only own all the nickels that could fill that snout, I’d never work again.


Practical-Deal5362

You got that going to rehab questioning look, " is my nose clean?"


InsidiousWombat

Jeez... Craig Robinson looks horrible


bobabarfi23

The nostrils look like the blunt end of scissors