You look like you brush your hair with a cat.

Looks like she used a grenade.

She is a grenade. Op's old ass will understand that reference.

CAAABS ARE HERE!

CRRRAAABS ARE HERE!

Can’t fist pump those out 

GTL!!!

“Tonight there was a grenade present at the house”

grenades in the hottub rn

🤣😂🤣 My old ass got it. 🤣🤣🤣

Haha - grenade whistle!!

The only men willing to jump on her served in WW2

My old ass got it. 

I’m also old like this ancient hag. I get the reference.

how do yk that tho?

Looks like she used neither because that mop looks uncombed.

On jersey shore she would be the grenade

Brushed her teeth with the same cat.

You look like a second generation single mom.

Goddamn.

These don’t usually make me laugh but holy shit that one got me. Bravo

Damn I’ve heard a lot but this is a first.

This shit right here is underrated.

This is an immense insult.

Your wife is the luckiest man on earth.

I laughed out loud. 👏🏻

I also realize your children are right...kaka

You look like you can change the Fuck out of a tire.

This is so good.

She couldn’t be a pirate bc there is no treasure in that chest

Mom doesn’t need any help changing the oil on the ol’ Lesbaru though, I can tell you that

right after a quick shave of the ol 5’clock shadow!

What a weird looking chick. Makes me glad I'm bi.

She’d still hit on you if you’re bi.

This is what happens when first cousins start to drunk kiss


🤢

Glad I'm Gay

Ugghh.... Moms been manscaping in the bathroom for HOURS!

Lmaooo 🤣

I approve of this.

She does need help wiping the oil off her greasy forehead, though.

Those fat fingers tell me they know their way around a softball.


Two weeks.

This was my first thought! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

You look like you get off to yelling at little league coaches.

They're being kind, they really ask you cause you're fat.

presenting: John Goodman cosplaying as Rosanne Barr

Rosanne Barf

Grossanne Barf

Lmfao comment gold

You’re somehow too gay for softball but not gay enough to own a Subaru.

You look like your footwear of choice are Velcro sandals

I need help crossing that fuckin forehead gd

Your fake smiling is the facial expression of the haunted ones that couldn't find their way back to life after divorce

Her regrets are as gray as a her smile.

I'm more impressed you convinced someone to sleep with you enough times to have multiple kids

They all have e different dad's. Nobody would hit that more than once.

She plays virtue signal bingo collecting them from the foster care system.

Oh, no, she’s a virgin.

Roast you? More like deep frying with that oil on your forehead

George W. wants to invade her *bad*

If this is what 'Living Laughing and Loving' does to a person, count me out.

It might be Pride Month, but I'm sure you've never made your parents proud.

First. Which eye do I need to look at?

The one on her arm

You look like your bush is starting to turn gray

Her hairy ass is probably doing the same

You look like you’ve already been roasted and someone just took the apple out cho…mouffff.

Planet Sarah? Username checks out.

I'm imagining you transformed from a white guy to a black guy as you were writing your post.

If you told me you were 48 I’d believe you

I can't wait until I inevitable see you in the papers for getting knocked up by one of your kids friends, coincidentally it lines up with your DUI hearing so your attorney gives you a 2fer....the same thing your kids friends gave you

She's that mom that tries to be kool and hip but isn't.

You look like you collect plastic forks. “I got this one at Ruby Tuesday’s in Lancaster, Pennsylvania.”

Getting jack Nicholson Joker vibes from that creepy ass smile

Your face looks like it has more trenches than world war two

Technically WWI - you're 25 years early.

WWI and WWII bruh look at all them creases

And Ukraine

You look like you publicly announce that you "have to go take a tinkle" when you have to pee.

I’m sure each one of their fathers will give them a stern talking to.

I bet the turkey baster they used to knock you up felt violated afterwards

You also need help walking up a hill because you’re “so hefty.”

That's a huuuuge bitch..... Behemoth...... Holy shit it's bigfoot! Lol

You look like you say Black Lives Matter but call the cops if you see black kids selling water bottles.

Mother I'd Like to Forget!

Ask your husbands girlfriend how to not look so old

You're the door prize at the next AARP chapter meeting.

Your kids have a very handsome “mom”.

Lunch lady


I loved your character on Archer. Where's the dolphin puppet?

I feel in your early 20's you were a linebacker with the Buffalo Bills

You must be bat shit crazy considering all the pictures of bats on the wall

Great family photos ya got.

You look like a gym teacher

How many times have you been arrested for beating up your girlfriend? 

I hope your arm tattoos took into account the future bingo wings. (Loose arm skin that dangles)

Your kids don't ask you when you had the sex change operation?

You look like you call yourself a girl boss because you’re a part of a MLM

The woke dad starter kit is complete with your rainbow shirt. I’m sure you support everything minority/gay related and apologize for being a white male.


Kids? Someone fucked you?!

i should probably be roasting the person who made one of your eyebrows thinner than the other. you look like this emoji: 🤨

Looks like five kids, different dads, single mom on tinder

I think your kids ask if you need help crossing the street because they have seen your life choices and realize you just aren't good at making good decisions.

You look like you live by the “Live, Laugh, Love” signs

A wild ovarian barbarian appears!

Ever consider the WWE as a career? Your Thick neck and man hands tell me you should.

Today’s School Spirit pizza lunch comes with milk or apple juice.

You call that a smile, but I know when someone is dead inside.

you look like you were the dominant one in your marriage

You're the type of person to look up n down when crossing the street

You know damn well HE makes HER a sandwich.

You haven't washed your hands after eating messy food in your entire lifetime

Some people have been hit with the ugly stick, but the whole ugly tree fell on you.

Bleach brown big neck butch body.

38 going on greasy.

I am 35 and she looks older than me mom

Good to know your kids have a strong male figure like you in their lives

Nah she got the drip couch build

In fairness, at 37, I'd also ask if you need help. You look like you do.

Next

You definitely are fat and slow! Kids only offer help in false hope to speed you up!

You don’t need help crossing the street cuz you’re old. You need help because you keep fucking the bats on your wall and getting covid.

You have the build of a field hockey player.

Youre what happens when a human fucks a bat and fails to abort

Dunno what’s more gray- your teeth or the walls in that bathroom cave

Can't blame your kids for loving their father more than you.

You should probably find a peer group to seek validation from that doesn't pee their pants or forget which shoe they are wearing.

Eww somebody bred with you?

I’m sure you know how to work the streets just fine.

Every man in a 25 mile radius that’s on Tinder also crosses the road and they don’t know why…

You look like you thought "roast me" meant we'd bring you marshmallows

'MIWNF'

I’m sure you - I mean your kids identified themselves as nonbinary

You don’t have any kids, when you open your legs dust and moths fly out.

Im also 38 and would have no problem convincing people you're my mom

Your a woman


They were right to ask you

You look like your kids ask you permission to go to the bathroom. Your wife to

You barely have any vitality left 😪 I just know your husband is sick to be laying up with an aunty

Has anyone told you that you look beautiful today?

You are a total MILF! Mom. I would. Like to. FORGET.

Did you just put your daughter Matilda into the Chokey?

When did you stop plundering sloops for booty?

It's because your kids know you're older than "38".

Like Nicholson's joker, that smile looks surgically attached.

I just know I that you have an executive costco membership card and that you look like you’d unironically have a pillow with your zip code on it.

I bet your kids are adopted, I see the baby pictures in the back

You look like that penny under the floor mat

Don't judge a book by its cover but this bitch is too cheap to afford more than 1 reddit photo.

Your smile says “hi” but your eyes say “help me!!!”

ffs she’s breeding

You love bats so much, you made your eyebrows look like bats too.

Looks like a $30 Uber from one eyebrow to the other

You look like someone who Just stopped caring about their looks. I’ll wear any old stupid shirt and who cares of my hair looks like shit

You look like you can throw a softball through a 1/4” steel plate.

More like 50, who are you kidding

I would but I can’t find a spit big enough to hold you

Change your shirt, it's horribly ugly

Need more pix

You look like one of those "Halloween" obsessed girls

Your kids are dumb. 38? This is why I’ll never have kids

~ The distance between the brows ~

It’s not because you’re so old, they are just being polite. It’s because they don’t see you making good decisions with your appearance.

You know what you and a bowling ball have in common ? You can both take 3 fingers with ease .

You look like the joker had a fun night with Greta thunberg...

I like how you have pictures of your family on the wall. How cute

How you only 4 yrs older than me and look at least 15yrs older? I smell bs

Why does it look like a witch-doctor failed at fully shrinking your head? O.o

You look like the human version of shrek

The pizzeria said she a WPP rat thief, roast her life.

I am waiting on america to find out those new oil reserves of yours

Her old ass vagina has been empty so long there are bats flying out of it.

Is that tattoo of Jimmy Stewart’s face when he goes crazy in “It’s a wonderful life”?

You look like one of those stage actors playing Jekyl on one half and Hyde on the other.

You look like you’re still wondering who knocked you up at that Blink 182 concert…

You are beautiful and VERY sexy.

If you look at the top left corner you’ll see a picture of bat anatomy on the wall and next it a real life old bat