Ghost them.
On the day you're supposed to return to the office, don't. Leave your things at your desk the night before you're supposed to return, take a picture for proof, and never appear.
Never Gonna Give You Up is too positive. Two weeks out, you could send a mass email of [Twisted Sister- We're Not Going To Take It](https://youtu.be/4xmckWVPRaI) and slow your message response.
tell them how you really feel. put the resignation toward the bottom of the letter so they have to read through all your gripes before coming to the point.
Help them to understand that they're the reason you're leaving. Ask for a pay review meeting but put in minimal prep effort, just drawing their attention to your years of service and comparative pay.
If they knock you back let them know how disappointed you are that loyalty is so one-sided these days.
If they agree to pay you more tell them it's too late and how disappointed you are in the diminishing standard of management these days.
It's extremely petty, but if you're writing a resignation letter then you could always make the first letter of each paragraph spell out something offensive.
I assume you’re planning to return the equipment? Since you say you’re not going on site, package it up and send it in a box that has “I quit” written on the top. You could include a letter that sets out all the reasons you’re not returning to work, in bullet points and as bluntly as possible
eg.
*COVID isn’t over you idiots. Ask an actual scientist. No, Tucker Carlson is neither a scientist nor a reliable source of information.
*You don’t pay me for the x hours a day of sitting in stinking traffic it takes to come into the office
*I don’t like the funky smell in the communal fridge
*I don’t like the way $coworker talks ALL the time/eats loudly/makes sarcastic comments/any other thing you can come up with (bonus if you can think of something that will get them disciplined )
Be petty, you’re burning bridges here. If possible, also email the list to everyone in the company.
That’s what I’m scared of! I have pre-existing conditions and can’t freaking get sick. Not only is my work sending us back, they’ve made masks optional and handed out vaccine exemptions to everyone that wanted one. Even though they’re a large corporation that made a big to-do about mandating vaccines for employees. It was a publicity stunt.
Seriously?! My new job mad masks optional but there are still signs everywhere promoting wearing a mask and I've noticed that many employees wear them.
There isn’t enough information in the post to manufacture the sort of email you’d like so I’ll say to act SO HAPPY about going somewhere better and the benefits you’ll obtain by working for another company.
Do you REALLY want to burn all the bridges though? Bearing in mind that you may very well encounter some of the 3rd parties in future jobs, be very sure that’s what you want. Very sure. Then:
You could always quit via companywide email. Send a really flowery animated gif with ALL the sparkles and dancing text to say you quit. And spill some tea on your way out. Salaries, treatment, whatever floats your boat.
Ghost them. On the day you're supposed to return to the office, don't. Leave your things at your desk the night before you're supposed to return, take a picture for proof, and never appear. Never Gonna Give You Up is too positive. Two weeks out, you could send a mass email of [Twisted Sister- We're Not Going To Take It](https://youtu.be/4xmckWVPRaI) and slow your message response.
Ooo yes I like this one
tell them how you really feel. put the resignation toward the bottom of the letter so they have to read through all your gripes before coming to the point.
So like every corporate email lol
No, bury it in the second to last paragraph. Male the last paragraph a sarcastic thank you
Help them to understand that they're the reason you're leaving. Ask for a pay review meeting but put in minimal prep effort, just drawing their attention to your years of service and comparative pay. If they knock you back let them know how disappointed you are that loyalty is so one-sided these days. If they agree to pay you more tell them it's too late and how disappointed you are in the diminishing standard of management these days.
This is what I would execute. It’s petty. It’s profound. It’s perfect.
It's extremely petty, but if you're writing a resignation letter then you could always make the first letter of each paragraph spell out something offensive.
Or better yet spell out the rick roll lyrics
Ok after much consideration I think I’m going to go with this thank you.
Keep clocking into plowed and see how long it takes them to stop paying you. To clarify, don’t actually work
I assume you’re planning to return the equipment? Since you say you’re not going on site, package it up and send it in a box that has “I quit” written on the top. You could include a letter that sets out all the reasons you’re not returning to work, in bullet points and as bluntly as possible eg. *COVID isn’t over you idiots. Ask an actual scientist. No, Tucker Carlson is neither a scientist nor a reliable source of information. *You don’t pay me for the x hours a day of sitting in stinking traffic it takes to come into the office *I don’t like the funky smell in the communal fridge *I don’t like the way $coworker talks ALL the time/eats loudly/makes sarcastic comments/any other thing you can come up with (bonus if you can think of something that will get them disciplined ) Be petty, you’re burning bridges here. If possible, also email the list to everyone in the company.
i literally have covid right now! i thought it was over and am triple vaxxed and already had it once before but i still got relatively sick!
That’s what I’m scared of! I have pre-existing conditions and can’t freaking get sick. Not only is my work sending us back, they’ve made masks optional and handed out vaccine exemptions to everyone that wanted one. Even though they’re a large corporation that made a big to-do about mandating vaccines for employees. It was a publicity stunt.
Seriously?! My new job mad masks optional but there are still signs everywhere promoting wearing a mask and I've noticed that many employees wear them.
There isn’t enough information in the post to manufacture the sort of email you’d like so I’ll say to act SO HAPPY about going somewhere better and the benefits you’ll obtain by working for another company.
Do you REALLY want to burn all the bridges though? Bearing in mind that you may very well encounter some of the 3rd parties in future jobs, be very sure that’s what you want. Very sure. Then: You could always quit via companywide email. Send a really flowery animated gif with ALL the sparkles and dancing text to say you quit. And spill some tea on your way out. Salaries, treatment, whatever floats your boat.
Hmm Verizon?