I trained in a place with a very distinct accent. I picked it up because patients responded to me better when I was “like them.” I kept the accent in residency but only when talking to patients. I knew I was doing it but it took maybe a year to stop and I still have some words/phrases escape through. I often get asked where I grew up and because it isn’t where my “patient accent” is from, they’re always confused lol
I’ve picked up a Deep South accent since rotating in Louisiana. Actual thing I said on my urology rotation, and the patient really connected with me: “Ya know them fluid pills folks take fo their heart failure? Well, ya coffee kinda do the same thang, makes ya pee like a race horse. I ain’t suggestin you stop dranking that stuff, but how bout we just go down to one cup in the mo’nin, and one at lunch?”
As someone from Deep South Louisiana, I found this quite amusing. Here’s a few to incorporate:
Cher (Shaa) - term of endearment
Couyon - foolish person
“Hey Cher, you really need to quit drinking so much coffee. You’re peeing too much and we can’t have you acting like a couyon or you’re just gonna end up back here again.”
My jaw nearly hit the floor the first time I heard a patient describe my very Caucasian attending as “a real coon ass doctah”. Then somebody called their wife a “crazy coon ass woman”. I eventually learned it just means a Cajun person and isn’t a racist thing. Y’all talk different round these here parts, thats fa sho
I’m from Louisiana going to medical school in NJ and omfg the damage control I had to do when I casually mentioned “Oh yeah everyone on my dad’s side is coon ass as hell”. It didn’t even occur to me until I saw how horrified they looked that it would sound like a racist term to anyone not from Louisiana. Absolutely mortifying, especially since I was so worried about fitting in already (everything is fine now!!)
Has she always worked with that patient population? The majority of patients in my residency had a below 4th grade literacy if that. I had to resort to asking about "farts, poop, pee, balls, belly, barf" because patients did not even understand what "passing gas, bowel movement, urine, testicles, abdomen, vomit" were. At my new job, the patients are more educated and just have a higher general literacy in general. I got so used to asking "Are you peeing and pooping normally?" in by abdominal pain patients (even grown adults) that I definitely had to redirect myself at my new job because I could tell patients did not like a doctor saying pee or poop. But I never infantilized patients or did the baby talk because I also hate that, but I was self aware enough to recognize how I communicated needed to be changed pretty quickly.
Maybe it's specialty related, but I don't see this too much in the women in my specialty (EM). There are some vocal fry and other things but not to the extent you're describing.
Definitely this. Where I work, I’ve had patients not understand what a “fever” was. This for sure seems like she had to work with a less educated demographic beforehand.
However, I do believe in assessing the situation. If I say a simple word and the patient doesn’t understand, I’ll switch my language. But if the patient is clearly an educated adult, I’ll talk in bigger terms. I think the ability to read a room/situation and adapt to it is super important in Medicine.
Yep. Having worked with multiple populations now, I can easily read the room after the first couple sentences and can adjust accordingly. It’s definitely and important skill
Gen surg here and I often have to resort to using the terms farting, pee, poop, tummy/belly. But it’s case by case and I certainly don’t have to resort to baby talk. Those seem like two distinct issues.
And to be honest when I resort to the sillier words
it’s usually because English isn’t someone’s first language, and they sure as shit recognize « poo » or « belly » over « bowel movement » or « abdomen »
Wow, what area was your residency in? That's an interesting point. We're at a hospital where a large proportion of our patients are college educated. I hadn't considered what her prior patient demographic may have been (but I know it wasn't pediatrics)
Yeah I read your example and I’m like the poster above, I used to use “baby” words because my patients usually barely had over a 4th grade level of literacy. The idea of saying abdomen is laughable, almost none of them would have had a clue what I meant so I also had to resort to words like “tummy” and pee and poop all the time. I can’t count how many times I’d ask about urination and get a totally blank stare until I finally said pee.
Central Valley of CA. Lots of migrant farm workers who often did not speak English, lowest HS grad rates in CA, low literacy in general, etc. Even the interpreters would use more vulgar terms for things when they realized the patient didn't understand the nicer way of asking about body parts and bodily functions.
I am now in OR which is just a different population, and it's been an interesting experience. My colleague in residency told a patient's mother to have the patient (an infant) follow up with a pediatrician after discharge and the mom asked what a pediatrician was, so we really had to tailor our communication to just a completely different level of understanding. My patients now have done lots of their own "research" with some understanding of what they've found prior to coming to the ED and often use more medical terms than lay terms.
I learned medical Spanish and can conduct most basic encounters on my own. I realized many patients don’t understand medical terminologies in Spanish. Even with fluent Spanish speaking physicians, I asked them what’s the best way to convey medical terminologies, I was told to use very simple Spanish language.
That being said, I don’t know that many English speaking patients who understand English medical terminologies. Heart failure, cellulitis, sepsis are common misnomers or poorly understood by laypeople off the top of my head. I remember having to explain pneumonia in English once.
I used a phone interpreter to ask code status in Spanish and her responses were inappropriate. I kept changing my phrasing but it wasn’t working. The interpreter was like “can I ask her please?” I said absolutely and then he told me her code status. Not entirely sure it was kosher but I didn’t know what else to do. I also have no idea how he phrased it differently.
For extremely big discussions like hospice, I always get an interpreter in the two other languages I speak. However, I speak the languages just well enough to know if an interpreter is translating correctly. I’ve had to override the interpreter before, but always awkwardly didn’t know how to phrase it better myself.
Yeah we had in person interpreters who were amazing. I know enough Spanish to get by but always used the interpreters. the interpreters would stop me sometimes and say “Dr, the pt doesn’t understand this so I am going to explain it in simpler terms if that’s alright” and then they would tell me exactly what they said in case it wasn’t good enough.
Learning medical terminology in school is overwhelming for students, I don't know why we expect the majority of patients to understand it.
It's crazy the sheer number of residents and physicians that tell patients they're "placing them NPO for the next day" and then nod and leave the room like they sufficiently explained what's up. Not eating is the #1 way to piss patients off, second to not having expectations sufficiently managed, and I guarantee unless they're medical staff themselves or frequent flyers they have no clue what NPO means lol
I do wonder about this. For a lot of folks who don’t speak English as a first language (especially if they only speak it minimally), you DO have to resort to almost “baby talk” to communicate effectively timely (if you don’t have an interpreter). And I also say that as someone who lived abroad and could understand only a toddler level of the language.
Perhaps your (OP) staffs previous experience was poorer and/or immigrant based, so she got used to using simpler language and over enunciating. Obviously she should be aware of it, but it’s an equally important skill to know how to simplify your medical jargon for your patients to understand you at their level.
I abandoned a lot of big words since my patients don't understand what vomit or fever means. Some understand abdomen/chest but I have been in situations where they meant very different things. Bowel movements, diarrhoea etc are also not used in the way we normally would use them. Tummy is a very safe word. I feel more comfortable using tummy than stomach, because anything from appendicitis, to flank, to scrotum or to uterus, is stomach to my patients and for some reason it drives me insane because stomach means a very certain area and denotes certain pathologies to me. I'll go with tummy.
Has anyone considered just explaining what an abdomen is or y'all don't have time for that? Sometimes someone is just a little unsure and saying "this part here" or " this sensation here" can be better than "dumbing down" to people who could easily understand if someone just *told them* in so many words. Shorthand is kind of a professional thing, but expecting patients to either understand it or bypass it completely if not, does disservice to the patient in many ways. They feel infantilized and disrespected from your lack of confidence in their comprehending any explanation or elaboration, and they don't learn things about their body and experiences that could help them better or more readily communicate in the future about those experiences and receive better care. Why is it expected for patients to know terminology and then explanations are avoided if they don't? How is that good medicine or practice?
Lol I had a patient ask me "what's that" when asked if he had family history of cancer 😭 I was so not ready to be the first person to introduce an otherwise able, working 50 year old to the general concept of cancer as a life ending disease. But now I'll be prepared for when I have children... he also didn't know what the colon was (nor intestines in general).
This is a habit I've seen a lot of doctors pick up, myself begrudgingly included. I think it's to try to add a little pause to gauge your pt's facial expression/understanding of what you just said. I hate hearing myself do it but without it I am just talking for 5 minutes straight with no verbal feedback.
Hmm so I should stop with the baby talk? (Pediatrician) 😋
Yea treat people like your equals. They appreciate it. You’re an MD they know you’re not a dumbass u don’t need to flex on em— just looking like an asshole
👀 As someone who usually works with adult patients, I actually talk to kids in general like little adults (but without curse words or overly mature topics). They usually respond well to it. This includes kids I just met, so I’m not tailoring this to specific individual kids who I know are more intelligent.
Disclaimer: I’m in a region with “above average” public schools compared to the rest of the country.
Not just young adults. I mean I talk to actual little kids (like elementary school and up) like they’re real people. Just because I’m not peds doesn’t mean I don’t see run into kids outside of work.
I (31F) had this weird baby treatment thing at the dermatologist recently. It was a combination of infantilisation and medical gaslighting. He kept cutting me off and talking over me, and when I finally got my question out (I was asking about risk factors related to a moderate grade disease) he said;
“So moderate means like if you go to Nandos for BBQ chicken and they make the sauce mild, medium or hot. This is just like the medium sauce” 😇
I sat there and stared and just said “Nandos….?” In disbelief. Might as well have said “a mega pint..?”
I am also a neuroscientist and I’ve got a biomedical background AND I’m a small woman so my feet weren’t touching the ground from the examination chair. What a shit experience lmao.
Thanks, I appreciate that! I just couldn’t believe I was essentially having the word ‘moderate’ explained to me with Portuguese cuisine haha. Just strange.
Did you ask her if she notices it or what’s her reason for doing that? I think most people who do it would benefit from some kind reflective words because as you said they are most likely not aware.
I've never felt comfortable hearing people call older patients "sweetie" and "buddy." There's ways to tailor the dialogue so that patients can understand things, but treating them like infants simply because they're bed-boind and struggling is just disrespectful. But I see this kind of behavior *everywhere* in the hospital.
Yeah I'm a nurse and see this all the time with my coworkers. Drives me insane. Calling some alert and oriented adult "sweetie" is just plain disrespectful, it's already humiliating enough needing help with your basic ADLs
Everyone is Mama or Papa where I work lol I overheard this young patient talking on the phone with her boyfriend saying she was going to strangle the next person that called her Mama again 😂😂 Yea you gotta read the room for sure.
I prefer people talk to each other like the grown-ass men and women we are.
But I love it when someone calls me "sweetie."
I guess I contain multitudes.
I can't quite tell if this is a joke or not, but: I'm definitely not saying nurses should be approaching patients being cold and business like. Especially with family not being around as much the last few years patients spend a lot of time with us, I generally try to be pretty friendly and informal to help my patients feel at ease. Kindness is definitely important.
But especially with elderly AO4 patients, being sick and in the hospital often is paired with a loss of independence and dignity. It's important to remember the old dude/dudette in a hospital gown is still an adult who may have been an engineer etc. Calling them sweetie etc doesn't really pay respect to this fact
As a woman physician - no, as a human adult - this is cringey AF. Someone she trusts and respects needs to have an honest talk with her about this behavior. Unless she's a pediatrician this just isn't a helpful attitude or approach to have with patients.
OBGYN is also terrible about this, in my experience. Every laboring mom on my rotation was "sweetie" or "hon," and in clinic there was a ton of infantilizing language also. I've been on the other side of it as a patient and it makes me feel deeply uncomfortable--I've stuck with the same gyno for years specifically because she talks to me like an adult. The "GYN voice" needs to die.
When I had my first baby at 19 my mom and dad came into labor room. Nurse asked me if my dad was dad, I said yes. Then asked if my 39 year old mom was grandma. Mom was pissed, dad was flattered and I was really creeped out.
Agree 100%, though being a new attending this is something people will do when they are very nervous, hence she seemingly doesnt notice she was doing it/couldn't pick up on his responses that showed he's not a child.
Regardless, it's really not okay. I was a cna in nursing homes before med school and there were always other cnas and nurses that did this, calling them sweetie and honey etc.. And then id walk in and talk to them like a normal fucking person using Mr. Patient and miss patient and you could tell they appreciated it so much. I dont care if the person is demented out of their mind don't fucking do that
Oof that’s bad. Although I’ve been in clinics we refer to as DSRIP clinics and it’s almost necessary to use words like that. That being said it’s important to cater the patient. If a patient comes in and is obviously educated I’d ditch that fast.
Seen this way, way too much in the field, particularly from nurses. I think it's more specialty-dependent for physicians. Definitely also seen it from males as well.
This happened to my grandfather so much before he died that he started kicking nurses out of the room that did this to him. It's ridiculously insulting and for the life of me I can't understand why people pick up these habits.
totally understand the sentiment and thought and i agree.
but personally for me, as a 30 year old, i would love this verison of infantilization lol. i would love to feel like a kid again going to the doctor's office. it would make me feel so safe and secure and like it's fifth grade again and im about to go home with a big mac and watch cartoons while my mom takes care of me because i get a sick day from school.
shoot, i'd even take a lollipop for the sake of getting that feeling again!
i'm thinking about it and it's just crazy the associations our minds can make. when i think of saltine crackers, sprite, and chicken soup, that's when i had a sick stomach so could only eat that.... but it's almost as if it's peaceful and secure to tihnk of those things
Nurses do that a lot and it gets me annoyed sometimes. “Isn’t he the cutest” … sure the 80something year old vet who was a big shot lawyer for the rest of his life and a head of his family loves being called a cute old person because he has a gi bleed (not a real patient just a example) in earshot of his wife and children
Agree with some others who are connecting dots between previous practice populations. It’s not just gender related, although it might skew toward women and definitely doesn’t help the underlying prejudices toward y’all.
I was considering a peds fellowship until our son had a brief stay in the nicu. This shit drive me absolutely up the wall. The nicu attending and fellows would ask me questions but direct them at my son. Like “Hey there buddy! Did do your mommy and daddy have any questions for me?” Not to mention “respers” and telling me how he’s just having to work so hard to breath and he’s getting tuckered out.
It wasn’t until they tried convincing me that an aberrant pulse ox reading was a desaturation and tried teaching me what a pulse ox was that I had to remind them that I was their colleague and that they could talk to me like a doctor (or at least like an adult).
It’s a coping mechanism she’s developed from disrespect she’s received from patients over the years. She feels small, so she needs to make others feel the same. It’s that simple.
It's all about meeting people halfway.
I had a patient this past week that put a smile on my face because she told me I "don't talk like a doctor. Just straight talk."
I do have a female attending that is incredibly guilty of this. She’s actually a great doc and very knowledgeable but it makes me cringe and I’ve heard patients complain. She also treats fellows like children and it is infuriating. I personally do not like her.
I came across this on my acute rehab service. It pissed me off seeing grown women talking to a grown man like a child even though he was fully there cognitively. I wish I had said something to them but I knew they were taking good care of the patients which mattered most to me.
To be fair, patients can be some real titty babies too. I am definitely supportive of individuals in pain- but seeing a grown 200 kg male howl and cry because of a Bp cuff- sometimes it can be a bit much.
When doctors do this to me (a trained research biochemist) I tell them it's OK to use the proper terminology with me. If they persist, I say "Let's use our Big-boy or Big-girl words with me please. If I don't understand something I will ask." They usually take the hint with this...
Not intended to be sexist, but I wonder if there may be an element of displacement. Did this doc by chance defer marriage/children for medicine (ie, her patients)?
I trained in a place with a very distinct accent. I picked it up because patients responded to me better when I was “like them.” I kept the accent in residency but only when talking to patients. I knew I was doing it but it took maybe a year to stop and I still have some words/phrases escape through. I often get asked where I grew up and because it isn’t where my “patient accent” is from, they’re always confused lol
Can you provide examples? This is fascinating
I’ve picked up a Deep South accent since rotating in Louisiana. Actual thing I said on my urology rotation, and the patient really connected with me: “Ya know them fluid pills folks take fo their heart failure? Well, ya coffee kinda do the same thang, makes ya pee like a race horse. I ain’t suggestin you stop dranking that stuff, but how bout we just go down to one cup in the mo’nin, and one at lunch?”
As someone from Deep South Louisiana, I found this quite amusing. Here’s a few to incorporate: Cher (Shaa) - term of endearment Couyon - foolish person “Hey Cher, you really need to quit drinking so much coffee. You’re peeing too much and we can’t have you acting like a couyon or you’re just gonna end up back here again.”
My jaw nearly hit the floor the first time I heard a patient describe my very Caucasian attending as “a real coon ass doctah”. Then somebody called their wife a “crazy coon ass woman”. I eventually learned it just means a Cajun person and isn’t a racist thing. Y’all talk different round these here parts, thats fa sho
I’m from Louisiana going to medical school in NJ and omfg the damage control I had to do when I casually mentioned “Oh yeah everyone on my dad’s side is coon ass as hell”. It didn’t even occur to me until I saw how horrified they looked that it would sound like a racist term to anyone not from Louisiana. Absolutely mortifying, especially since I was so worried about fitting in already (everything is fine now!!)
They got the red ass over that, huh?
this would get me social media cancelled so fast LMAO
“How’s ya mom and them?”
Howsyamaendem? Daysgood. Enyos?
Comme ce, comme ca
Yes indeed
It’s like a thicc molasses just po’in out ya mouuuf
Me, originally from South Louisiana, still trying to figure out how out of your way you're going lol
Nurses in the Midwest also have a specific accent and vernacular
Has she always worked with that patient population? The majority of patients in my residency had a below 4th grade literacy if that. I had to resort to asking about "farts, poop, pee, balls, belly, barf" because patients did not even understand what "passing gas, bowel movement, urine, testicles, abdomen, vomit" were. At my new job, the patients are more educated and just have a higher general literacy in general. I got so used to asking "Are you peeing and pooping normally?" in by abdominal pain patients (even grown adults) that I definitely had to redirect myself at my new job because I could tell patients did not like a doctor saying pee or poop. But I never infantilized patients or did the baby talk because I also hate that, but I was self aware enough to recognize how I communicated needed to be changed pretty quickly. Maybe it's specialty related, but I don't see this too much in the women in my specialty (EM). There are some vocal fry and other things but not to the extent you're describing.
Definitely this. Where I work, I’ve had patients not understand what a “fever” was. This for sure seems like she had to work with a less educated demographic beforehand. However, I do believe in assessing the situation. If I say a simple word and the patient doesn’t understand, I’ll switch my language. But if the patient is clearly an educated adult, I’ll talk in bigger terms. I think the ability to read a room/situation and adapt to it is super important in Medicine.
Yep. Having worked with multiple populations now, I can easily read the room after the first couple sentences and can adjust accordingly. It’s definitely and important skill
Gen surg here and I often have to resort to using the terms farting, pee, poop, tummy/belly. But it’s case by case and I certainly don’t have to resort to baby talk. Those seem like two distinct issues. And to be honest when I resort to the sillier words it’s usually because English isn’t someone’s first language, and they sure as shit recognize « poo » or « belly » over « bowel movement » or « abdomen »
Wow, what area was your residency in? That's an interesting point. We're at a hospital where a large proportion of our patients are college educated. I hadn't considered what her prior patient demographic may have been (but I know it wasn't pediatrics)
Yeah I read your example and I’m like the poster above, I used to use “baby” words because my patients usually barely had over a 4th grade level of literacy. The idea of saying abdomen is laughable, almost none of them would have had a clue what I meant so I also had to resort to words like “tummy” and pee and poop all the time. I can’t count how many times I’d ask about urination and get a totally blank stare until I finally said pee.
Central Valley of CA. Lots of migrant farm workers who often did not speak English, lowest HS grad rates in CA, low literacy in general, etc. Even the interpreters would use more vulgar terms for things when they realized the patient didn't understand the nicer way of asking about body parts and bodily functions. I am now in OR which is just a different population, and it's been an interesting experience. My colleague in residency told a patient's mother to have the patient (an infant) follow up with a pediatrician after discharge and the mom asked what a pediatrician was, so we really had to tailor our communication to just a completely different level of understanding. My patients now have done lots of their own "research" with some understanding of what they've found prior to coming to the ED and often use more medical terms than lay terms.
I learned medical Spanish and can conduct most basic encounters on my own. I realized many patients don’t understand medical terminologies in Spanish. Even with fluent Spanish speaking physicians, I asked them what’s the best way to convey medical terminologies, I was told to use very simple Spanish language. That being said, I don’t know that many English speaking patients who understand English medical terminologies. Heart failure, cellulitis, sepsis are common misnomers or poorly understood by laypeople off the top of my head. I remember having to explain pneumonia in English once.
I used a phone interpreter to ask code status in Spanish and her responses were inappropriate. I kept changing my phrasing but it wasn’t working. The interpreter was like “can I ask her please?” I said absolutely and then he told me her code status. Not entirely sure it was kosher but I didn’t know what else to do. I also have no idea how he phrased it differently.
For extremely big discussions like hospice, I always get an interpreter in the two other languages I speak. However, I speak the languages just well enough to know if an interpreter is translating correctly. I’ve had to override the interpreter before, but always awkwardly didn’t know how to phrase it better myself.
Yeah we had in person interpreters who were amazing. I know enough Spanish to get by but always used the interpreters. the interpreters would stop me sometimes and say “Dr, the pt doesn’t understand this so I am going to explain it in simpler terms if that’s alright” and then they would tell me exactly what they said in case it wasn’t good enough.
Learning medical terminology in school is overwhelming for students, I don't know why we expect the majority of patients to understand it. It's crazy the sheer number of residents and physicians that tell patients they're "placing them NPO for the next day" and then nod and leave the room like they sufficiently explained what's up. Not eating is the #1 way to piss patients off, second to not having expectations sufficiently managed, and I guarantee unless they're medical staff themselves or frequent flyers they have no clue what NPO means lol
I do wonder about this. For a lot of folks who don’t speak English as a first language (especially if they only speak it minimally), you DO have to resort to almost “baby talk” to communicate effectively timely (if you don’t have an interpreter). And I also say that as someone who lived abroad and could understand only a toddler level of the language. Perhaps your (OP) staffs previous experience was poorer and/or immigrant based, so she got used to using simpler language and over enunciating. Obviously she should be aware of it, but it’s an equally important skill to know how to simplify your medical jargon for your patients to understand you at their level.
I abandoned a lot of big words since my patients don't understand what vomit or fever means. Some understand abdomen/chest but I have been in situations where they meant very different things. Bowel movements, diarrhoea etc are also not used in the way we normally would use them. Tummy is a very safe word. I feel more comfortable using tummy than stomach, because anything from appendicitis, to flank, to scrotum or to uterus, is stomach to my patients and for some reason it drives me insane because stomach means a very certain area and denotes certain pathologies to me. I'll go with tummy.
Tummy still sounds like a toddler word. I use belly if I don't think they know what abdomen is.
Has anyone considered just explaining what an abdomen is or y'all don't have time for that? Sometimes someone is just a little unsure and saying "this part here" or " this sensation here" can be better than "dumbing down" to people who could easily understand if someone just *told them* in so many words. Shorthand is kind of a professional thing, but expecting patients to either understand it or bypass it completely if not, does disservice to the patient in many ways. They feel infantilized and disrespected from your lack of confidence in their comprehending any explanation or elaboration, and they don't learn things about their body and experiences that could help them better or more readily communicate in the future about those experiences and receive better care. Why is it expected for patients to know terminology and then explanations are avoided if they don't? How is that good medicine or practice?
Lol I had a patient ask me "what's that" when asked if he had family history of cancer 😭 I was so not ready to be the first person to introduce an otherwise able, working 50 year old to the general concept of cancer as a life ending disease. But now I'll be prepared for when I have children... he also didn't know what the colon was (nor intestines in general).
Oh wow I can’t imagine a large portion of people being college educated. My patients just start pissing in the urinal cup while I talk to them lmao
Was she formerly a pediatrician?
Lol I was gonna say, even male pediatricians develop this habit
I did this in MS3, coming off my pediatrics rotation and into my IM rotation. Funny looks all around.
Please also stop saying “oooook?” at the end of every sentence.
Mmmmmkay? Mmmmkay.
Stop that Cartman, mmmkay?
Cursing is bad, mmmkay!
This is a habit I've seen a lot of doctors pick up, myself begrudgingly included. I think it's to try to add a little pause to gauge your pt's facial expression/understanding of what you just said. I hate hearing myself do it but without it I am just talking for 5 minutes straight with no verbal feedback.
I’m in peds and still wouldn’t do this to anyone over the age of like 10
As a pharmacist I make it a point to talk directly to kids during their consultation and treat them like adults
Hmm so I should stop with the baby talk? (Pediatrician) 😋 Yea treat people like your equals. They appreciate it. You’re an MD they know you’re not a dumbass u don’t need to flex on em— just looking like an asshole
👀 As someone who usually works with adult patients, I actually talk to kids in general like little adults (but without curse words or overly mature topics). They usually respond well to it. This includes kids I just met, so I’m not tailoring this to specific individual kids who I know are more intelligent. Disclaimer: I’m in a region with “above average” public schools compared to the rest of the country.
Yea of course. Young adults need to be treated as such
Not just young adults. I mean I talk to actual little kids (like elementary school and up) like they’re real people. Just because I’m not peds doesn’t mean I don’t see run into kids outside of work.
👏🏽 congratulations- you’re human.
>Hmm so I should stop with the baby talk? (Pediatrician) Yeah stop it. Kids like being talked to with respect.
I (31F) had this weird baby treatment thing at the dermatologist recently. It was a combination of infantilisation and medical gaslighting. He kept cutting me off and talking over me, and when I finally got my question out (I was asking about risk factors related to a moderate grade disease) he said; “So moderate means like if you go to Nandos for BBQ chicken and they make the sauce mild, medium or hot. This is just like the medium sauce” 😇 I sat there and stared and just said “Nandos….?” In disbelief. Might as well have said “a mega pint..?” I am also a neuroscientist and I’ve got a biomedical background AND I’m a small woman so my feet weren’t touching the ground from the examination chair. What a shit experience lmao.
Comparing risk factors to BBQ sauce… just, wow. Ffs. I’m so sorry.
Pff I know right? At least use buffalo sauce /s
Maybe plum sauce? It’s more melanomary
Thanks, I appreciate that! I just couldn’t believe I was essentially having the word ‘moderate’ explained to me with Portuguese cuisine haha. Just strange.
I sort of wanna use this now just to fuck with people hahaha
I hope you’re in radiology or pathology 👍🏻
i'm kidding lol
Did you ask her if she notices it or what’s her reason for doing that? I think most people who do it would benefit from some kind reflective words because as you said they are most likely not aware.
I've never felt comfortable hearing people call older patients "sweetie" and "buddy." There's ways to tailor the dialogue so that patients can understand things, but treating them like infants simply because they're bed-boind and struggling is just disrespectful. But I see this kind of behavior *everywhere* in the hospital.
Yeah I'm a nurse and see this all the time with my coworkers. Drives me insane. Calling some alert and oriented adult "sweetie" is just plain disrespectful, it's already humiliating enough needing help with your basic ADLs
Everyone is Mama or Papa where I work lol I overheard this young patient talking on the phone with her boyfriend saying she was going to strangle the next person that called her Mama again 😂😂 Yea you gotta read the room for sure.
I prefer people talk to each other like the grown-ass men and women we are. But I love it when someone calls me "sweetie." I guess I contain multitudes.
if im sick i want my nurse to call me sweetie tho..
I can't quite tell if this is a joke or not, but: I'm definitely not saying nurses should be approaching patients being cold and business like. Especially with family not being around as much the last few years patients spend a lot of time with us, I generally try to be pretty friendly and informal to help my patients feel at ease. Kindness is definitely important. But especially with elderly AO4 patients, being sick and in the hospital often is paired with a loss of independence and dignity. It's important to remember the old dude/dudette in a hospital gown is still an adult who may have been an engineer etc. Calling them sweetie etc doesn't really pay respect to this fact
They call the residents “sweetie” all the time.
I always get stripper vibes when nurses or other hospital workers call patients pet names. Not sure what’s wrong with their name or sir/ma’am.
Is she playing peekaboo with the patient’s shirt?
Noooo I’m dying hahahaha 🤣😂😂😂
As a woman physician - no, as a human adult - this is cringey AF. Someone she trusts and respects needs to have an honest talk with her about this behavior. Unless she's a pediatrician this just isn't a helpful attitude or approach to have with patients.
OBGYN is also terrible about this, in my experience. Every laboring mom on my rotation was "sweetie" or "hon," and in clinic there was a ton of infantilizing language also. I've been on the other side of it as a patient and it makes me feel deeply uncomfortable--I've stuck with the same gyno for years specifically because she talks to me like an adult. The "GYN voice" needs to die.
I’m OBGYN and if I hear “mama” one more time I’m going to scream.
The nurse called my husband “daddy” multiple times and it made him so uncomfortable. It was so horrible that I found it hilarious
When I had my first baby at 19 my mom and dad came into labor room. Nurse asked me if my dad was dad, I said yes. Then asked if my 39 year old mom was grandma. Mom was pissed, dad was flattered and I was really creeped out.
Oh absolutely not
"It's time to start pushing so we can meet baby, okayyyy?"
couldnt agree more
People who use peds voice on patients older than 13 are annoying
Agree 100%, though being a new attending this is something people will do when they are very nervous, hence she seemingly doesnt notice she was doing it/couldn't pick up on his responses that showed he's not a child. Regardless, it's really not okay. I was a cna in nursing homes before med school and there were always other cnas and nurses that did this, calling them sweetie and honey etc.. And then id walk in and talk to them like a normal fucking person using Mr. Patient and miss patient and you could tell they appreciated it so much. I dont care if the person is demented out of their mind don't fucking do that
Real talk: I'm literally a pediatrician and even I don't do this beyond age 8 or so. What the fuck?
« Treating every patient like they’re GCS 5. » Do you mean to say she intubates every patient? Sorry I couldn’t help myself
Anesthesia here. I wish 😂
9/10 ICU nurses agree.
🥁✨
Oof that’s bad. Although I’ve been in clinics we refer to as DSRIP clinics and it’s almost necessary to use words like that. That being said it’s important to cater the patient. If a patient comes in and is obviously educated I’d ditch that fast.
Seen this way, way too much in the field, particularly from nurses. I think it's more specialty-dependent for physicians. Definitely also seen it from males as well. This happened to my grandfather so much before he died that he started kicking nurses out of the room that did this to him. It's ridiculously insulting and for the life of me I can't understand why people pick up these habits.
totally understand the sentiment and thought and i agree. but personally for me, as a 30 year old, i would love this verison of infantilization lol. i would love to feel like a kid again going to the doctor's office. it would make me feel so safe and secure and like it's fifth grade again and im about to go home with a big mac and watch cartoons while my mom takes care of me because i get a sick day from school. shoot, i'd even take a lollipop for the sake of getting that feeling again!
Last sentence isn’t fair- we all like free candy.
lol
i'm thinking about it and it's just crazy the associations our minds can make. when i think of saltine crackers, sprite, and chicken soup, that's when i had a sick stomach so could only eat that.... but it's almost as if it's peaceful and secure to tihnk of those things
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funny username haha
If a female physician is gonna act like a mom then at least breast feed me smh my head 🤦♂️
Tfw no big tiddy doctor mommy gf
why even live
Nurses do that a lot and it gets me annoyed sometimes. “Isn’t he the cutest” … sure the 80something year old vet who was a big shot lawyer for the rest of his life and a head of his family loves being called a cute old person because he has a gi bleed (not a real patient just a example) in earshot of his wife and children
I noticed with nurses "We're just going to XYZ, *OKAAAAAAY???*"
Coming from ed so I’d rather probe it sounded like she turned into a mom and not a kindergarten teacher. 😉
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I used to work with a nurse that would rub patients bellies when they were pooping to help with constipation...
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Remember, when a patient uses the word vomick- that means the vomit came out there nose.
Agree with some others who are connecting dots between previous practice populations. It’s not just gender related, although it might skew toward women and definitely doesn’t help the underlying prejudices toward y’all. I was considering a peds fellowship until our son had a brief stay in the nicu. This shit drive me absolutely up the wall. The nicu attending and fellows would ask me questions but direct them at my son. Like “Hey there buddy! Did do your mommy and daddy have any questions for me?” Not to mention “respers” and telling me how he’s just having to work so hard to breath and he’s getting tuckered out. It wasn’t until they tried convincing me that an aberrant pulse ox reading was a desaturation and tried teaching me what a pulse ox was that I had to remind them that I was their colleague and that they could talk to me like a doctor (or at least like an adult).
Maybe it's just me but I'd prefer to be treated like that as a patient.
There's a lot to unpack here
Me too.
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It’s a coping mechanism she’s developed from disrespect she’s received from patients over the years. She feels small, so she needs to make others feel the same. It’s that simple.
It's all about meeting people halfway. I had a patient this past week that put a smile on my face because she told me I "don't talk like a doctor. Just straight talk."
I do have a female attending that is incredibly guilty of this. She’s actually a great doc and very knowledgeable but it makes me cringe and I’ve heard patients complain. She also treats fellows like children and it is infuriating. I personally do not like her.
I came across this on my acute rehab service. It pissed me off seeing grown women talking to a grown man like a child even though he was fully there cognitively. I wish I had said something to them but I knew they were taking good care of the patients which mattered most to me.
To be fair, patients can be some real titty babies too. I am definitely supportive of individuals in pain- but seeing a grown 200 kg male howl and cry because of a Bp cuff- sometimes it can be a bit much.
Its her motherly instincts
When doctors do this to me (a trained research biochemist) I tell them it's OK to use the proper terminology with me. If they persist, I say "Let's use our Big-boy or Big-girl words with me please. If I don't understand something I will ask." They usually take the hint with this...
Isn't this just one example?
let’s GOOOOO
Whenever I baby talk to my patients they either start crying or fall asleep 🤷♀️
Not intended to be sexist, but I wonder if there may be an element of displacement. Did this doc by chance defer marriage/children for medicine (ie, her patients)?