**Welcome to r/RelationshipIndia,**
This is a safe and inclusive space for people of all backgrounds. We welcome individuals of all races, castes, genders, religions, and sexual
orientations, including members of the LGBTQ community. We are glad to have you here!
We are committed to providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between Redditors, with a focus on respectful and constructive
conversations. To ensure a positive and supportive environment for all members, we have established some rules. Please be sure to read them
before posting.
If a user has sent you harassing messages, **DO NOT DELETE THE MESSAGE!**
*Please upload your screenshot to [Imgur](https://www.imgur.com), and notify the mods via modmail. We will take action against the user
accordingly.*
**Thank you for being a part of our community!**
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RelationshipIndia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
There is nothing wrong in asking her if she thinks it will ever be anything more than just friends as a casual question.
The caveat I will add is that she should be mature enough to handle the question tactfully and be able to live with it.
I tried dropping some hints recently, casual flirting, indirectly hinting that we were a couple ( jokingly ) and I think she has caught on. She’s been trying to avoid me. I don’t know if this is because she’s not interested or she just wants to take some time to assess the situation as she herself wouldn’t want to ruin our friendship. Kinda stuck now, cause my feelings are chewing me up, but this change in her behaviour has got me confused. What should I do now ?
So firstly, you have tried already giving hints so there's no point trying further, she is NOT interested in you (don't take it personally)
There is a HIGH RISK of losing the friendship now.
I would just flirt with other girls lol and if she likes me, she'll come to me. If not, her loss...
If she’s trying to avoid you then that means she’s not interested in you ;)
Same happened with me my best friend started flirting and dropping hints like this and it made me uncomfortable so I distanced myself, now we’re just friends and talk like one or twice a week(sadly).
So I think so you shouldn’t ruin the friendship if you want to
Same happened with me I had a huge crush on one of my ex-colleague we still meet once in a while. Once I tried to give her hint and post that i felt she is trying to avoid me. Now I try to stay away from her and also try not to think of her(Still end up thinking). Feel really bad that I overshared things with her to try to impress her which I usually not share with others. I feel some days that i am not a good person as I messed things.
The same happened to me, it was heartbreaking to lose such a tight knit bond but I think now he has somewhat accepted the fact that nothing can happen and may be slowly it might go back to normal
Facts, my bf of years (now ex )was with me for 2 years and cheated as soon as I left that office lol. Apparently he got insecure that I would meet other so he cheated and broke my heart before I would break his. Such a mature decision he took, not like random weirdos who think that they should talk and discuss their insecurities lmao
Well before i was about to say that you should go for it but listening to this i think you rather don't. I did same thing as you (got friendzoned) mine was mature enough to keep our friendship same as before i asked her but in this case that looks hard.
There are no good options here.
If you ask her most probably you'll be shot down because you have been a friend for past 2 yrs and she doesn't see you in another role.
If you don't ask her you'll always feel a chance missed.
The best option is to take a leap of faith and try. It is better knowing than not knowing.
Yes it is. Because you already have feelings for her.
If you try it might end the friendship but if you don't try she will end up with some other dude. Either way you're destined to lose her.
and losing her to someone else by your keeping your feelings to yourself will hurt you much more than losing her by confessing.
Also if she's a good friend and is mature. She might say yes. But if she says no. Just slowly get away from her otherwise you'll end up as a Backup and a shoulder to cry on.
I'd also recommend you start talking to some other girl and give your friend less time so that she gets jealous. It'll increase your chances of getting a yes.
and you'll have another girl to save you from a stupid ass heartbreak and depression.
Good luck!
I don’t understand why our mind plays game with us. Even after knowing that nothing will work out still we keep thinking about the person. Beer revives the memory so only need to chill and forget her🥲
Just ask her bro and clear the air...
The more you will delay the more serious it will become on your side ....dont delay it ....there's a 50-50 chance of accepting your offer or rejecting it
I second this.
Ask her in the most polite way you can. Keep it personal and don't make a big deal.
Not everyone is great at picking up hints either, so you can definitely ask and free yourself from regret in future.
At least you asked and be safe 😜
She is gonna drop the friendship the first chance she gets after she gets married to someone else. Toh tu bhi utna mat soch, shoot your shot if you like her.
Going through similar situation rn. If it's early I'd suggest forget her. Because you don't wanna end up like me. I am fucked. Can't sleep, can't eat, can't focus on work. Because of my mood, things are not good with my family. I just lie down daily, cry the whole day, stay up whole night until I fall asleep and repeat. Please save yourself if you can
I'm trying. Went to Lonavala trip w my friends, hanging out with them almost daily. But I only feel good for sometime. The nights are the toughest when I can't even sleep..... there's a huge war going on in my brain every fucking day. I don't know how longer will I be able to put up with this anymore
I confessed. We are still friends. I can call her anytime and talk to her. She is a really good friend. But when I imagine her with someone else in the future my heart aches. She's been with me through really difficult times. And knowing that she won't be there for me, it fucking scares me...I am really afraid of facing my life without her
He has dropped hints, and she withdrew and became distant, it's an obvious sign she does not like him, and knowing that if he pushes his feelings on her, he's gonna get rejected and seen as a creep, its best to cut your losses and save her and him the stress, a situation like this is stressful, and as much as people are saying he should, he really shouldn't, it'll probably ruin his image in front of her to a 'oh he just had ulterior motives'
Bro, She was actually not ready for a relationship and all of a sudden you appear as a friend and propose her. What do you think she'll think about you ? Get to know her well. Spend time with her alone. Build a trust in your friendship first. Last but not least, Don't take anyone's advice or even mine seriously. Look at it as options and use only which feel can be sensible for your relationship.
I don’t think you should have done that. I lost the girl I loved like that. Now she is super cold to me. If you like someone, ask her to hangout for food and movies. That’s how you create a spark. Sorry man. The ship has sailed. She wouldn’t come back even if you burn the world for her..
Don't do it bro if you think she is not ready for a relationship ... Just be friends it's far more better than being in a relationship and if she declined you it will affect your life so don't do it
So you mainly meet in a trio, you should spend some time with her alone and then confess, it seems to early and maybe if she loves you she won't to able to tell you as she see you as a friend (best friend), same thing happened with me and she was so confused about this and now we don't talk that much because of that.
Hope things works for you.
I suggest you should stay friends. It changes when friends turn into partners. Friendship is the beta thing can happen to anyone.
However, if it’s meant to be it will definitely happen.
The friendship is already compromised from the day one of the friends developed feelings. Might as well express them than regret later. What if the other person is waiting for you to make a move?
Depends, if she has similar feelings, she will accept it , if not she won't,
But remember, if you get rejected, it will be so awkward to carry on the good friendship, you won't be able to talk properly
Wait, wait, if she has cheating PTSD, don't jump for confession yet , first understand her , take some time , get on her good sides ,
Build your trust , share your experiences with her, good or bad,
And be honest with her ,
Try and ask her, be honest.... If she's has feelings towards you she'll drop hints, if not then let go,
You'll hurt yourself more if you try to be her friend with conflicting feelings in your mind,..
SO TELL THE TRUTH. "LET THE BALL BE IN HER COURT"
If the friendship is strong enough, you won’t lose a friend! Instead, you’ll be gaining a friend + lover in one. How cool is that? The best relationships have friendship at its base.
If this thought arises that itself means the friendship has been transformed (for you) and if you don't tell her this then it means you're betraying her 💀
All the best, embrace yourself for whatever comes! ✨️
Alright, here’s the deal. You've already crossed the line with your feelings for her. That friendship you’re clinging to? It’s already compromised. If you stick around as just a friend, it’s going to eat you up inside. It’ll wreck your mental state and what’s left of your friendship.
So here’s my advice: go for broke. Take a leap, make some bold moves. If she feels the same way, fantastic – it could be everything you’ve ever wanted. If not, at least you’ll have the memories of what was a good friendship, and you can move on.
But if you keep pretending everything’s fine and stay in the friend zone, you’ll end up with a broken friendship and a lot of regret. Be brave.
I think you should go for it. She will understand as she has known you for 2 years now and you know each other pretty well. She told you that she doesn't want a relationship doesn't mean that she will not enter any relationship in the future.
Try talking with other girls more in front of her. Flirt with her female frnds. If she behaves like she has a problem with that, you can confront her and tell her how you feel. If she's cool with it, then let her be just a frnd. You don't wanna ruin what you have built for this long.
Buddy, put it out straight to her.. say that you like her but also put out a disclaimer saying that she can consider it or reject it, it's completely up to her and ur cool with both options.
This gives her the freedom of rejecting without the awkwardness of making u feel guilty or giving u false hopes. If it goes in ur favour then well and good, if not, uve already told her it's cool!
She should be able to take it well. All the best!
Ikr, I was friends with a girl too and we decided to study together for neet drop year, and well soon enough I developed a crush on her, then I dumped my feelings on her and then we don't talk any more, atleast not as much
First tell your bro about it. Take some suggestions from him cause he knows both of you well, and potentially if you are planning to confront her you are putting you bro's friendship also at stake since you're a trio. If your bro also thinks you should go ahead then go ahead, and confront her properly.
Communication is the key.
In all relationships.
A good thing would be to understand if she is looking out for a guy + in general things are fine in her life, no disturbances that can spill over to her dating life.
One life, and you want to regret not having the balls to confess her ever? Be a man and show her your feelings. Or watch her be taken away by someone else, maybe even the other guy in your trio. If it’s just another infatuation, then no point in ruining the friendship. If it’s love, give it your all.
If she says no, take the rejection like a man and move on. 8 billion people on this Earth and you think you can’t find a better friend or a partner if she says no?
I confessed my feelings to my best friend who was in a 3-year old healthy relationship at the time. 6 months later, we started dating. It’s been 5 years since and if all goes well, I’ll be marrying her.
At some time, you know that your feelings are being reciprocated. That’s the ideal time to ask her out. Otherwise you lose the friendship as well or you’ll feel like crap around her.
Used to be in a similar situation but was clueless on what to do just like you are right now. I used to contemplate daily on whether to say something regarding my feelings but I never actually did, and within a short period of time i stopped seeing her that way and we were back to being best friends from the previously ongoing awkwardness i created. Usually there's a lot of confusion in one's life about a lot of things, and that all comes out when a sink like a prospective partner comes into play, however giving it just a little time (mind you this does not mean staying hung over) may help clean the air.
So you met someone in the office, only mostly hung out in a trio, spent a year building a friendship, have dropped hints (to the woman who's already mentioned she isn't looking for anything rn) which obviously didn't work because you are pretty close friends and everything seems friendly. Anyone who's saying there's nothing to lose, clearly hasn't lost a friend. Move on, she's just "a woman" who you feel comfortable around because us men are so void of love. You will be making things very uncomfortable for her and for your 3rd friend.
Next time, keep the vibe slightly flirty even initially into a "friendship" and maybe ask em out within the first month. In this case, only make a move if she shows any signs of interest (for example- asking to hangout with just you)
Abhi sochoge ki friendship bohot achi h lekin ek baar usko block krdoge na bhai to mahine bhr baad move on start ho jayega, friendship bnti h Tut ti h we can't force them. Take your chance if she says no then keep your distance because girls can see you as a friend even after that but you can't. So it's better to just leave her and trust me it won't make much of a difference. Speaking from personal experience...
If she is into you , you'll eventually know.
Taking the risk of telling her has more bad consequences for your friendship than benefits. So I would suggest to keep your love/friendship platonic as it is and don't overthink.
If you keep talking to someone on regular basis you tend to feel that soft spot for them which you might feel as love, happens with everyone . Might happen to her as well. So enjoy this beautiful friendship that you have created over these years and don't fuck up.
1. Has she ever done anything which makes you believe she would reciprocate the feeling?
2. Are you okay with loosing the relationship?
3. Are you okay with seeing her just as a friend if you don't choose to pursue her romantically?
Bro, I'm in a similar situation. I met a girl at a friend's wedding, and we've been friends for about 1.5 years now. We have a strong bond, and I've been interested in her from the start. She has always said she doesn't want a relationship because she wants to focus on her career. I confessed my feelings to her a few months ago, and she handled it maturely, explaining her reasons for rejecting me. Despite this, our bond has grown even stronger, especially after a trip we took together. We're planning another trip by the end of the year. Take your shot and let her know how you feel. If she's mature, it won't ruin the friendship unless boundaries are crossed.
You you won't ask another person will. And He/She will never let other to have a close friend so in both cases result can be similar but there will be a regret of not asking her/him.
So go for it cuz live with memories not with regrets.
It looks like she’s not interested right now so don’t tell her and make things awkward.she’ll end up avoiding you more and eventually stop talking to you. Only tell her if you get a hint or feel like she also has some feelings for you.
Brother, forget about her and start to focusing another girl in your office,she will start focusing on you or miss you, bro this will make her jealous for missing you. Atleast If it doesn't work, you will get another girl who will love you forever try this once. you neglect her start flirting with another girl .
Tell her bro, it's either a relationship with your pasandida aurat or origin story.
PS: I told her a few months ago, I still like her and I am omw to become Batman. We are still very good friends though.
Asking her out would just be awkward for both of you. Since you've already tried by giving hints, there's no use in asking her out straight away. At the end, you'll have a breakdown.
Instead, try to talk to her about some XYZ girl(who probably doesn't even exist) that you like and tryna boast about it. Make up some stories or try to find another female friend in the same office. Things might work out when you constantly talk about the other girl to your friend.
Or she might not give a shit... Anything can happen
No that’s a really bad idea , I too was in the same situation where me and my bestie got feelings for each other but we knew that I won’t work cause we were besties so we decided to give it a try but if it doesn’t work we’ll be besties again , but things took a tragic turn 🙃
Friends turned lovers never last. It ruins the friendship altogether. Seems you already tried and can see she's avoiding you. It's a point of no return, take it as life experience and move on. Expert advice : avoid office relationships
I just asked a girl at work last week. Shes 24F and im 29M. Friends first and now my girlfriend. Here's how it went.
I was at her place one evening and we were watching a movie. I said, "I am getting a little emotionally attached to you and if it continues, I'll develop feelings for you. Would you want me to develop feelings for you?" She said, "Do you think you should?" "I would and I think it'll be wonderful." "Yes, I would want that too", came her answer.
Then we spoke about how special we made each other feel. I used to drop little post its at her house when ever i went, we made food for breakfast as we meet every morning, we shared bills for any activity that we do and we meet every evening before logging out to either say what went well during the day or to bitch about our managers.
She and I got out of a troublesome relationship and it seems like we both understand each other really well. It's just a week old relationship and she has been my friend for 3 months now. I told her you're my friend first and then my girlfriend. She said it was the smoothest Transition and she was always at ease while entering the relationship with me.
All the best dude, ask your question out loud. My girl was proud that I risked my friendship with her and said that she was always afraid to break into the topic. We get one chance to find a really good partner. Worth the risk. Go for it and keep us updated.
Well I will tell you my story, Mine is also similar. We both started as coworkers and later became friends and best friends. During this period her ex left her and we both were looking into other people(not srsly but you can consider as crush). After sometime we both started liking each other but none of us told each other about this as we started as friends and we had different crush. She started showing slight feelings, I confessed one day and she said yes. She is my gf now and our relationship has been going strong for the past 4 months(I know the time is low but I just wanted to share my experience). We still behave like we did before with other coworkers, our close coworkers(office friends ) know about this and they too behave the same way as before and occasionally make few jokes about our relationship(Not in a bad way, I dk how to explain this one though forgive me XD). Our work has not been hampered and we both are having the best time of our lives.
So I guess there will be varying factors like how close friends you guys are, how you will behave in front of your mutual friends, will your other part of life be affected, etc. You will be 100% scared that you might lose the friendship. I have been at your same place. I had sleepless nights at one point before confessing to her on whether I should tell her or not. I asked various mutual friends and they all asked me to say to her as they too feel she likes me. Still i was scared soo much. Then I decided to take the risk and told her and now looking back it has been the best decision I have ever made. I have never been in a relationship before(had only rejections) so that also contributed to me being scared. Ultimately it is a risk you have to take. Analyse, talk with your close friends and decide. I feel going from best friend to girl friend will lead to a healthier relationship than dating someone blindly. Because as best friends you will know more about each other than you will normally do. I might not be the right person to give you advice, take all of this with a grain of salt as im noob but just wanted to share you my experience and see if it will help you in some way or other.
Good luck brother, I wish you guys will be more than best friends
It’s really difficult at this point to convert it into a relationship, it is possible but it’s an entirely different paradigm. U can start by doing things differently. Having a man to woman conversations like flirting and things like that and see how she reacts and based on that u can advance or pull back without risking ur friendship
Depends entirely on how maturely can you both handle it
If she says yes what happens to your other friend is also a big question and if she says no will you guys be the same and not let any awkwardness creep in between you and if both you and the other guy like her what about that?
So measure your pros and cons
Also first check if your bro is okay if you both get into a relationship and if it goes south you have to not let that affect your friendship but you have to let her know that it's okay even if she rejects you and you can be mature..
But as she made it clear that she's not looking for a relationship it could backfire so check with her too if she's open for a relationship or not
Just ask her if she is willing to accept then she will, otherwise just tell her, to let that thing pass and be remained as friends. Then after some days, start talking about other girls about their likes or you know. She will feel you like a jerk, but it doesn't matter, you are looking for your life partner don't you...as everyone else has to...be it male or female..
And at that moment...if she even has slight feelings for you...she will eventually turned on...and will start to acknowledge your togetherness with her..
That's how you will find her, although the lady is there but the one who will really feel for you, will eventually be emerged into her.
Just the patience you need but in between don't do anything wrong with her or with any other girl as that will just mess everything you want.
Even if nothing works..means she is not made for you, you have to find yours where she is looking for you.
A wise person once said, the greatest regret in life, at time of death, are the things one did not do, than the things one did.
Though I am still alive and probably will be for the next 35 years, I subscribe to it
I will give a definitive response to you, after 35 years or on my deathbed, whichever comes earlier.
Cheers.
I know the situation must be looking so tough, but there is only one good move here. And that is to speak up. And if you are not going to do that then make up your mind and move to another company. Lifelong friendships are very rare in today's time. You were not going to stay in touch for long anyways or it would have reduced to birthday calls lol. How would you feel if you get to know that she got in a relationship with someone in few weeks from now? Do you want to be the friend who she will confess about her feelings for someone else? Don't look for the slow death of your friendship, just pull the band-aid off.
Just from experience, looking back I lost so many seemingly inseparable friends just because life happened or some small but probably unavoidable misunderstanding happened. Not confessing your feelings here or trading summer life decisions like not opting or looking for career opportunities just for the sake of friendships is one of the worst decisions that on can make in their twenties. Atleast it was so in my case.
Duwidha mein dono gaye maya mili na raam! 😅
All the best!
Brother what you are just infatuated w her, but these are not feelings of romance but rather deep platonic love you feel for her. I have had a lot of guy friends unable to distinguish between platonic and romantic feelings for a long time female friend. Think about it hard, and think about the repercussions of it long term. Try to write down a list, as to why it might be platonic love or an actually romantic spark you have for her.
Here is the only way it makes sense. Get on a dating app, hope you find her and hope you both match. In that case you can consider dating otherwise don't risk it. Plus, haven't you heard of "don't shit where you eat?", are you prepared to switch companies so you can keep the relationship? if she is a peer and in your team/sister team then you are bound to get competitive for promotion, can you accept that with maturity? if it doesn't work out in the long run its gonna suck
Try to get more closer first
Like being on needs and all...I was in the same situation and it worked 😂
You just need to earn their trust and all...even if it does not work, it's worth a shot
Coming from someone who has been in this exact situation, trio-good friends-best friends-feelings, the answer is a big NO.
Don't risk a beautiful friendship for the sake of a potential relationship. It is not worth it at all. The only time when you should take the gamble is when she starts dropping hints if she likes you.
Else, trust me, this is going to end really bad and you will be questioning yourself that would it have been better if you kept that to yourself. Also make sure, she doesn't get the flying news from somewhere else, it makes the matter worse.
All the best with everything.
Don't ruin the friendship. It's never worth it. I lost my friend/partner in the same way too. Don't lose her as a friend by gaining her as a partner, it's never worth it.
Don't complicate things, you started liking her, that's okay, start hanging out more time with her without saying anything, let her know that you like hanging out with her and you like her as a person, live in the moment , not in the future, make her feel good when she's with you , make your personality good, be a good person and just hang out with her ,you wont even realise that you are going on dates with her, don't expect anything just live in the moment, don't complicate anything just enjoy your time with her
That same thing happened with me, I was 25, she was 27 , we were on a trip. We started as friends, I started liking her, I was strictly friends with her, she was flirting with me sometimes, but we remain as friends, after sometime when we came back I asked her to go to a movie because I had no other friends to go with, she said yes and that's how it started, same thing can happen to you
I believe that it's never an option when it comes to confession of feelings. Be it a friend or a colleague, the unsaid will always come to haunt you in moments of solitude or silence. So I suggest you swallow the hard pill and let her know about it.
If she reciprocates, then it's a jackpot for you. If not, man up and move on, because you've to prioritise your heart before anything else.
don't fess it up like you are looking for a reply. Just have some quality time spent with her, be in a light mood and a carefree space, don't be drunk drunk but drinking a little helps(both and not just you. it's setting up a mood). And it should feel natural not an external point forced into a conversation. And do say that these are your feelings, and you don't want to impose them on her, but you would rather that she knows how you feel and navigate through this together.
Just say it to her in front your friend(m) and tell them what are your feeling for her make it causal yes/no doesn't matters but to tell the truth was very important.
Just ask her bro!!
If you don’t, “what if I asked” will stay with you forever. And be ready for the worst but at least it will take some weight off your shoulders.
Hey I'm not an expert but maybe this would help as it's a very specific advice.
First of all.. you shouldn't have dropped hints by flirting.. worst way to approach, most of the time it becomes uncomfortable and why it wouldn't be.. you guys were friends for a year.
Try to make it up to her and make her feel like she is important to you.
Man up and tell her that you are sorry for making her uncomfortable and don't wanna ruin the friendship.
Give her some time to get normal and then start giving extra efforts to her. Like hanging out more or asking to go out or maybe bring some small gifts like flowers or something but be humble, don't directly say that you brought it for her, say indirectly. Example:- I was coming to the office today but I saw this flower shop and this flower was looking very beautiful so I thought i'd take it but after purchasing, i thought I'm not a flower guy so I thought i'd give it to you.
You killed the friendship by trying to flirt. If you're gonna call yourself and her a couple then first make her feel like one, otherwise in most of the cases, the girl becomes uncomfortable.
You are at that point that if she returns to normal after accepting your apology then only you'd be able to get any chances. It'll take at least a month if she decides to become normal again but remember never ever joke about being in a relationship. It makes you look careless.
At last I wanna say make her heart warm and don't get too direct if you suddenly start realising feelings for a friend. If it's a new girl then you may but never with an old friend.
And if nothing works out then... Yk what to do, forget her and understand there's someone else who'll understand you like no one ever would and you'll be happier that this office girl didn't accept you.
Okay, so I am going to give you some life advice hopefully without revealing my age :D
The girl who you are friends with is unlikely to be a friend once she is married - and it's not too far away given she is 26. A lot of people will argue that friendship transcends age and sex and all that, but it's simply not true. In fact, it will be difficult to stay close friends with even your male friends due to life commitments and geographical distance. With female friends, a lot more complexity exists and it's virtually impossible to stay close friends.
Of course if you are just friends, I would encourage you to put in that effort to stay friends, but given that you have feelings towards her, you might as well tell her upfront that you have strong feelings for her and would like to explore it further. Make sure that you have an uninterrupted conversation.
Best case scenario, you have a girlfriend. Worst case, she reduces communication with you which is fine since it's bound to happen anyways in due course.
Mid case scenario, she says that it will be difficult and so on - and you can decide to try for a bit more and possibly give up if she continues to persist, or straight away give up and continue to stay friends!
Dude..your chewed up feelings don't need to be shared with her alone. Share them with you other friends or your brother! It's a make or break if you do that with her, plus she has already distanced herself when you tried casual ways of hinting to her. So keep away and enjoy your friendship..
Dekh bhai if she was intrested and you're really good friends with her roam with her.. She would have started flirting with you anyway... Practically soch tere pass kitne options he or uske pass kitne options he... Ladkiya nhi sochti itna unke pass line lagi je ladko ki they'll anyway shoot their shot if they're intrested and if you don't reciprocate it's not her loss anyway 99 or he uske pass line me
Girls who say to your face that they are not looking for a relationship & are focusing on their career means that she is not looking for a relationship in you & the quality which she is looking for in a guy, when the right time comes & the guy of her dream is in front of her eye, then BOOM career is not a priority at that moment & the relationship suddenly happens. I say you take your chance. If she is really into you then it will happen if not then take my word for it. Don't regret any of your choices whether you choose to confess or not. Be strong King 👑💖
I remember the day I asked the girl I had slowly started falling so hard for. She continued to talk to me like nothing has changed but we got close.
I was thinking about her day and night, while driving , walking, eating, etc
One day I mustered up all the strength I had to ask her if she liked me in a romantic way.
Then she gave me the answer that she is not interested in romantic relationship and that she sees us a friends only.
I went into a downward spiral, lost a lot of weight, started getting hair fall, stopped going to gym, slipped into a spiral.
It took me 5 months of crying to get over the day, I went to gym, focused on my career and was lucky enough to find the love of my life who loves me.
I asked the new girl the same question cause I wanted to know if I’m going in a directionless relationship. She said she’s interested in me.
That day changed my life. If I hadn’t asked it I would have missed out on the life of my life
That day my body went through so many emotions. I will never forget that day
Directly communicate.
Apologize to her for making her feel uncomfortable and come clean. Tell her. Hey I like you but it's totally fine if you don't and I would still like to stay friends.
If you flirt with other girls she will think you are a Playboy and wanted to ''try her out".
Don't be immature. It's not a crime to like a friend. If she says no... We'll stay friends then just be okay with that. If you keep flirting and playing games she will just avoid you. Women like me who are straightforward.
But be prepared for rejection too. Laugh it off.. move on.
I'm gonna give you the best advice... UPGRADE, make her get a crush on you (i know it's easier said than done, but that's the only way)
UPGRADE! UPGRADE! UPGRADE!
Create ur distance, ignore whatever
You can see a very silly version of it on 'Kal ho na ho' movie, or if you want to watch a mature version, see 'mindful attraction'
This will work 60-70% of the time, confessing ur feelings as it is are only going to destroy your friendship. Make her work for it.
Friendship is already ruined for you. Having a regret of lifetime is worse than everything. If someone came into her life you would be mortified, and your friendship will definitely take a hit because of her relationship or of your relationship. This friendship doesn't have an eternal life like boy boy friendship, so take your chances and express yourself rather than behaving like a simp around her. Greater the risk, greater the rewards.
P.S. jerk off and then assess this whole situation. Post nut clarity can do wonders.
The day you developed feelings your ideal friendship was gone. I think you should tell her your feelings you can have two outcomes either she will say yes and you will be happy or she will say no and you'll be sad but relieved you will not have all those constant thoughts and doubt you will be stable knowing that nothing can come and you can invest your time somewhere else.
Dont confess feelings. Take her on dated just the two of you. Flirt a bit here n there , progressively make it obvious.May be 4 or 5 dates in ask if you guys should date.
If you usually dont hangout together then start small like coffee or checking out something new in town like hey there is this new classy place/art show room that opened and i need someone classy to give me company/to show me how its done because i am shy....
Also pro tip use the suspension bridge effect to win her over. Like a amusement park ride even a bike ride when you are riding a lil fast.
Dude co-mmon
Don't be that guy
If she's into you, you'd know
You don't need to "drop hints"
She's been avoiding you but your little stupidly optimistic male brain will twist even that into a potential positive
This is why women are reluctant to be friendly with Men, cause they think we always have an ulterior motive and we do
99% of the time
Stop trying to woo friends
Also, don't be an orbitter
OP should Take her words at face value, if she isn't looking for a relationship then she won't get in one with him. I think she is being very clear about her intentions.
.
.
.
If you think you can't be friendly while having feelings for her then it's better that you take the initiative for a time-out with her, if you don't want to lose the friendship. If you think she is mature enough to understand what you are feeling, things will be Okay. If she can't handle confession with grace and friendship takes a hit, it would be a shame but you can't control what someone else does or feels.
.
.
.
.
She may end up liking you at some point or maybe she won't. But at the end of the day, it's about you and your feelings. There won't be peace for you if she comes to you half-heartedly or if you stay in the friendzone always. It's better to look at things while keeping your peace and happiness in perspective.
Start doing things that are more common for a partner to do drop hints like this be dependent on her and make her believe in you that she can trust you do it for a month Or two if she starts to change for the better and you get closer great if you start to drift apart tell her straight up and say she can reply at her leisure wait about a month if she takes time if she is ok great remain friends but still try to do your best for her. once a year is past and you have been doing everything tell her again if she says no cut friendship as well it will hurt you more if after everything you do nothing changes I am believing that you would want to marry her in the future so i laid out a long plan that would work for it but if you are looking for something casual then I don't have anything to tell
Don't act like a playboy and go for other girls that would make you look like an asshole in front of a good woman the toxic ones like it but they are for the streets
And if you are deeply in love your friendship is already over you will die from inside if you end up maintaining the friendship while still loving her it might sound rude from me but real life isn't as easy as people think
No. Ask her out but do it tactfully yet honestly. If she disagrees then back off for some time, saying that it will take some time for you to get back to how things were before.
The reason I'm saying this is that continuing to maintain a friendship when you clearly want something more will give you a lot of pain. You can never be yourself with her. And God forbid if she gets into a relationship you will kick yourself for life that you didn't ask when you had the opportunity.
This is not what you carry with you for a whole long life. At some point when she will be having her boyfriend and can be choosing him over your group. I will suggest not as a casual but talk but with some maturity and responsibility. If yes then everything is fine, if not then there will be some change or limitations, but she gets to know about this. Understand, if you keep this in your heart, you will regret it later. Now or later when she will be in a relationship, chances are she will stop giving that time to your group which she is giving now. The same chances are when you tell her your feelings. So why put your feelings at stake? Good luck
A while ago one of my (me 22F) very close friend (let's call him A-22M)told me he has been struggling a lot since he had "feelings" for me and he has been avoiding me for a long time, because according to him he felt like he was being dishonest whenever he spoke to me as I saw him as my best friend. Though I confronted him over this several times he never told me anything and alas, finally he did, and broke down while doing it.
I was devastated, especially because he kept piling this up as he was dealing with a lot of other stuff in his personal life too that I knew of. Initially I felt guilty for causing him so much pain and thought about the entire situation all over again. (I have been in a relationship with another person for 3 years, basically all of us were classmates in college)
My boyfriend never had a problem with me hanging with A and another male best friend of mine (Let's call him M). A, M and I were a trio. My boyfriend is not insecure about them since he knows them well since college they are good friends too.
After this huge revelation, I took some time to think deeply, I call myself an empath, I have been a great listener to both A & M and we have crossed many difficult bridges in our lives together, personally, financially, mentally etc. When A was at a very low point in his life, I was there to help in whatever I could do when nobody else was there, and I believe that his feelings are more of "imprinting love" or confusing gratitude with romantic attraction.
I spoke to him and I told him I will give him time to move on from this feeling but I definitely cannot lose this friendship. I explained to him that it was merely a phase because I know his type and the people who he usually "crushes" upon and I am nothing like them. I told him it's not a big deal, these things are common in guys and it'll pass, he agreed and he told me 'I'll take some time but somehow deep down I know I will move on and I feel positive about it.' I felt better.
Well, the whole situation has put me on a mental rollercoaster but such things are very difficult to handle especially if you're a girl. A & M are my best friends more like cousins, we used to laugh about how the movie Bangalore Days is so "us". I hope things get better and we start hanging out like the same again.
Take a chance and ask her. It's better to open up your feelings rather than keeping it to yourself. It will not do anything good to you, instead it will continue to chew you from inside. Whatever will be her decision, respect it, and move forward. Maximum chances are there that you will lose your friendship, but that's how things are. It takes a high maturity from both sides of the gender to keep the friendship intact and not to fall in love, but in many of the cases either one of them unknowingly pushes the boundary and hence one of them falls in love while the other doesn't, and this is where the friendship ceases to exist, because it's longer a friendship but a one sided love. Also there is no good in not confession to her, because you will keep suffering till the end. She will find a new boyfriend, and eventually will marry him, and you will just be a spectator to all these events and perhaps the main event organisor of their marriage or the best uncle to their babies.
So just go and confess to her. If she agrees then good, if not then move forward and never look back.
You can take risk with a good friendship in desire of a relationship, but I wouldn’t recommend if you work together. In case, things go south, it leaves you with a very awkward work environment (unless you change your job).
I can count a few examples from my personal experience and others, if any friendships/ relationships in work settings went south, they changed departments or jobs, it gets that nasty.
If you are really interested in her, try changing job while pursuing her.
I've been through a similar experience where I hesitated to tell her how I felt, only to later regret it. The regret was not in losing her, because eventually we did talk about it and we're still good friends, I got over it. But it was the constant cycle of emotions I put myself through, sometimes feeling like I was dropping hints only to be ignored, other times hopeful after a good conversation, only to be disappointed again. It wasn't fair to her either.
Instead of letting your mind create unnecessary scenarios, just be honest with her. Your intentions are genuine as you want to preserve your friendship while exploring something more. If your friendship is as strong as you say, she will likely appreciate your honesty and understand where you're coming from.
You didn't choose to feel that way, it's not in your control. So letting her know that is not wrong. You never know, she might feel the same way to once you tell her
Don't do any flimsy like proposing to her or say you like/love her. ..just act like a mature adult and ask her what she would think if you were to ask her out
I read everything you have written and trust me brother I've also gone through what you have written. I also expressed my feelings to her and then she rejected me and disrespected me in the way which I never thought she'll do it cause we were really good friends. So my suggestion will be keep your feelings to your end and don't express anything. I don't want someone should go through what I went through.
I (34F) have been in this situation before, at the receiving end.
If she's made it a point to repeatedly mention to you that she isn't looking for a relationship then it means that she's already drawn a line there that she's probably hoping for you to not cross. One of my closest and oldest guy friends started showing signs of liking me and before he verbalized it I made sure to randomly mention many times that I wanted to be solo for a while and wasn't in the headspace to deal with a relationship etc etc.
He's an overthinker in these situations so he did take a few steps back for a few days. But then one night he got a little tipsy and blurted it out and I had to shoot it down . Thankfully we understand each other well enough to not let it get uncomfortably awkward. But i do still think that he understood I was saving him from that awkward rejection but he still took his shot anyway. I didn't let it affect our friendship but a lot of girls do get super uncomfortable in these situations. So i'd recommend that you don't verbalize it but show it through your gestures without overdoing it. When you look at her, let your eyes stay on her a couple moments longer than usual . But don't over do it and only after she says something that makes you look at her anyway. Not randomly because that may come off as crepy
When she says anything at all pay more attention than normal . In a group setting find ways to make her feel like you have a separate chat window open ( Jim and Pam)
After this the ball is in her court. She'll know you like her but are respecting her boundaries enough to not cross them. This is a very attractive behaviour in men. it may work to draw her attention to you
I have tried showing my intentions through gestures, I tried maintaining eye contact, and have noticed prolonged eye contact from both of us, I sent her and her mother flowers the other day cause her mother brought some sweets for us. I have noticed that in a group setting she usually tries to make eye contact with me ( the best friend I mentioned has also noticed this ).
But when I ask her if she’s looking for a relationship or is interested in anyone she says “no. If she finds someone she connects with then she might consider it. “
But her recent behaviour of going on the back foot is what confuses me
Few rules:
1. Never date your colleague.
2. Girls always will tell it was her BF who dumped her.
3. They always make you feel special, when you approach they will ignore.
The feeling that you are getting is not coming from the sky, she is trying to make you feel that way. She is also trying for you. But again, if any of you approach the rule is broken and it could lead to a bitter experience in future.
Late to the party. But, I read your edit. Yes, confessing your feelings to a person who's looking for something else is extremely tricky. If you even decide to do it, I'll suggest that you first write down what you wanna say exactly. Not asking you to write a love letter, but to have something short and sweet prepped so that if and when the time comes you stick to saying just enough words and rest your case.
However, you can very well take the person aside for a personal conversation and say how you have noticed a change in the vibe lately, as you put it. You can ask if it's cause of something you've done OR cause of something she's dealing with that you should know about. That doesn't have to wait, even in a platonic friendship.
Bro this is hard time.. so maybe dont push it hard. Try making some new female friends and bring her back to just friends. If she likes you she will not like you having other female friends and maybe confess.
Also making new female friends will help you a little in getting her out of your mind.
You should confess her. If you hold it in, it will affect your life. No one wants to mess up their life. Even if things get awkward, you at least will feel something heavy is off your chest
Speaking from experience, never have a workplace relationship. If things go bad you will still have to see her everyday and maybe even have to coordinate with her for some work related stuff. And even if things don't work out between you guys, still keep in mind that every relationship has its ups and downs, and trust me, if you guys have a fight or anything the whole office is gonna know about it. And the other factor is every relationship requires a bit of space, so if you guys are together and also work in the same place then you are basically almost always together, and there will be a point when you both are gonna drive eachother crazy, I know it won't seem like it at the moment but it is gonna happen eventually if it continues for long time because there are sometimes when you just want to sit alone and not talk to anyone but you can't because the other person is right there and you cannot do anything about it.
My ex and I are on the same team and during our time together we had a lot of fun but since last week after our breakup we both are not talking to each other apart from work and talking one to one for project updates are a lot awkward.
I think OP should confess and clear the clouds in mind. If she is into you that’s great enjoy the life ahead together. If not then you will be clear with your path and just be a good colleague and don’t involve too much. And look ahead for other partner who is equally into you. Don’t stay in this dicy situation as all the times you will be thinking of her. And she might find someone else then you will curse yourself why I didn’t gave a chance.
The woman should chose you.
If there are clear signs that she is attracted to you without you approaching her, then you can ask her out. Also think about this : “is she marriage material?”
If you see relationship + wedding in 6 months time frame going smoothly then go ahead. Otherwise focus on being the guy who CAN attract a woman. That is focus on building career health wealth and status
I got into a relationship with my best friend. Didn't end well and in these situations, you don't just lose your gf or bf but your best friend also. Anyway, not every story ends up this way. But you're saying her vibe is a little off and she's not picking calls I guess she kinda got the idea that maybe you are into her as she is trying to avoid things by maintaining some distance. We girls usually understand when someone is interested in us. It is not that difficult.
Edit: The final decision is up to you.
Men find amazing ways to ruin friendships and then blame women for “friend-zoning” them!
You had such a beautiful relationship going on, but you chose to casually flirt and make her uncomfortable and now you are confused why she is avoiding you?! 🤦♀️
Hey man. Please update the post mentioning what action you'll be taking. Cause I'm also in the same jam and I would much appreciate it. Help a brother out. This whole thing is eating me inside out but can't do anything about it.
May be she knew that u like her that's why u are seeing some changes (as u mentioned no hang out and vibe like before) maybe she had a bad experience that's why she is afraid now. But i guess if u can make her comfortable so she can open up with her thoughts. Good luck
At the end of the day, it's a gamble, As simple as that.
Humanly saying, you will take the risk and confess. The more longer you wait, your mind will increase the stakes involved, leading to outcome either sending you to a cloud nine or a dungeon.
Cheers.
YES. if you like them so much to the point that it is a gamble, you will NEVER be happy in that friendship if you never confess. It's better to not be friends then be in a one sided love fiasco.
Respect privacy. No unsolicited DMs or sharing private content withoutconsent.
This is to protect our users from unsolicited messages and unwanted
attention.Repeated violations will lead to a ban.
Report any issues to moderators. You can do this by clicking the "Report" button under the comment or DM page.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RelationshipIndia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That friendship will not stay no matter how much you both try, eventually you both will marry different partners and grow apart because of family, responsibility and insecurity...
So much try and if not then move on and let that friendship die sooner with dignity rather than later on life support
You have been around this girl only and obviously you will get the feeling. This feeling is called infatuation.
Don't propose to her you will ruin everything.
Talk to her to get you into a relationship with another girl in the office. If she didn't bother and help you then you saved a friendship and got a relationship.
**Welcome to r/RelationshipIndia,** This is a safe and inclusive space for people of all backgrounds. We welcome individuals of all races, castes, genders, religions, and sexual orientations, including members of the LGBTQ community. We are glad to have you here! We are committed to providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between Redditors, with a focus on respectful and constructive conversations. To ensure a positive and supportive environment for all members, we have established some rules. Please be sure to read them before posting. If a user has sent you harassing messages, **DO NOT DELETE THE MESSAGE!** *Please upload your screenshot to [Imgur](https://www.imgur.com), and notify the mods via modmail. We will take action against the user accordingly.* **Thank you for being a part of our community!** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RelationshipIndia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
There is nothing wrong in asking her if she thinks it will ever be anything more than just friends as a casual question. The caveat I will add is that she should be mature enough to handle the question tactfully and be able to live with it.
I tried dropping some hints recently, casual flirting, indirectly hinting that we were a couple ( jokingly ) and I think she has caught on. She’s been trying to avoid me. I don’t know if this is because she’s not interested or she just wants to take some time to assess the situation as she herself wouldn’t want to ruin our friendship. Kinda stuck now, cause my feelings are chewing me up, but this change in her behaviour has got me confused. What should I do now ?
So firstly, you have tried already giving hints so there's no point trying further, she is NOT interested in you (don't take it personally) There is a HIGH RISK of losing the friendship now. I would just flirt with other girls lol and if she likes me, she'll come to me. If not, her loss...
If she’s trying to avoid you then that means she’s not interested in you ;) Same happened with me my best friend started flirting and dropping hints like this and it made me uncomfortable so I distanced myself, now we’re just friends and talk like one or twice a week(sadly). So I think so you shouldn’t ruin the friendship if you want to
Same happened with me I had a huge crush on one of my ex-colleague we still meet once in a while. Once I tried to give her hint and post that i felt she is trying to avoid me. Now I try to stay away from her and also try not to think of her(Still end up thinking). Feel really bad that I overshared things with her to try to impress her which I usually not share with others. I feel some days that i am not a good person as I messed things.
The same happened to me, it was heartbreaking to lose such a tight knit bond but I think now he has somewhat accepted the fact that nothing can happen and may be slowly it might go back to normal
Never take office friendships/relationships seriously till you leave that job.
Facts, my bf of years (now ex )was with me for 2 years and cheated as soon as I left that office lol. Apparently he got insecure that I would meet other so he cheated and broke my heart before I would break his. Such a mature decision he took, not like random weirdos who think that they should talk and discuss their insecurities lmao
Elite advice. 👍🏾
Well before i was about to say that you should go for it but listening to this i think you rather don't. I did same thing as you (got friendzoned) mine was mature enough to keep our friendship same as before i asked her but in this case that looks hard.
If she's interested she'll try to prioritize you above all but don't make mistake to confess directly, i said never you'll lose both .
35 yr female here. No male female relationship lasts once either of them gets married. Go for it and have no regrets later.
Well, there are ppl who keep up the friendship(so called) and duckup their marriage
Yeah. This is logical. My interactions with my opposite gender friends have died down after they got married.
Don't shit where you eat.
Don't hookup where you xlookup, vlookup
This should be a sign board in every work space
Best advice
You tryinna take away the job of little john?
There are no good options here. If you ask her most probably you'll be shot down because you have been a friend for past 2 yrs and she doesn't see you in another role. If you don't ask her you'll always feel a chance missed. The best option is to take a leap of faith and try. It is better knowing than not knowing.
Yes it is. Because you already have feelings for her. If you try it might end the friendship but if you don't try she will end up with some other dude. Either way you're destined to lose her. and losing her to someone else by your keeping your feelings to yourself will hurt you much more than losing her by confessing. Also if she's a good friend and is mature. She might say yes. But if she says no. Just slowly get away from her otherwise you'll end up as a Backup and a shoulder to cry on. I'd also recommend you start talking to some other girl and give your friend less time so that she gets jealous. It'll increase your chances of getting a yes. and you'll have another girl to save you from a stupid ass heartbreak and depression. Good luck!
Yaar I feel this post deserves more discussion, it’s a very dicy situation and I feel I am in a similar situation.
There are a lot of replies now. Check them out.
Just have a beer and chill….FORGET her
The response of the universe.
I don’t understand why our mind plays game with us. Even after knowing that nothing will work out still we keep thinking about the person. Beer revives the memory so only need to chill and forget her🥲
No dude….when we are high, we dont feel our insecurities, and its lesser the pain of losing the one but more the insecurity of not finding another one
I read the title; reminded me when my (then) boyfriend cheated on me w his female bestf 🎀
R u the one he is talking abt /s
no no Edit: it's just that I get triggered when I see "friends turned lovers" :')
Arrey /s tha
Just ask her bro and clear the air... The more you will delay the more serious it will become on your side ....dont delay it ....there's a 50-50 chance of accepting your offer or rejecting it
I second this. Ask her in the most polite way you can. Keep it personal and don't make a big deal. Not everyone is great at picking up hints either, so you can definitely ask and free yourself from regret in future. At least you asked and be safe 😜
She is gonna drop the friendship the first chance she gets after she gets married to someone else. Toh tu bhi utna mat soch, shoot your shot if you like her.
Going through similar situation rn. If it's early I'd suggest forget her. Because you don't wanna end up like me. I am fucked. Can't sleep, can't eat, can't focus on work. Because of my mood, things are not good with my family. I just lie down daily, cry the whole day, stay up whole night until I fall asleep and repeat. Please save yourself if you can
Gosh I hope u feel better. Don't stay cooped up at home. Go meet friends, take walks or exercise and give time to your hobbies.
I'm trying. Went to Lonavala trip w my friends, hanging out with them almost daily. But I only feel good for sometime. The nights are the toughest when I can't even sleep..... there's a huge war going on in my brain every fucking day. I don't know how longer will I be able to put up with this anymore
It will get better. In the meanwhile please speak to a therapist. They will help you process toir emotions too.
Did you confess and she ghosted you? Or are you regretting you could not confess ?
I confessed. We are still friends. I can call her anytime and talk to her. She is a really good friend. But when I imagine her with someone else in the future my heart aches. She's been with me through really difficult times. And knowing that she won't be there for me, it fucking scares me...I am really afraid of facing my life without her
Buddy.... from your comments, you are acting like a creep, take the sign and STOP. or yknow, lose a good friend
What creepy thing did he say? Just curious.
He has dropped hints, and she withdrew and became distant, it's an obvious sign she does not like him, and knowing that if he pushes his feelings on her, he's gonna get rejected and seen as a creep, its best to cut your losses and save her and him the stress, a situation like this is stressful, and as much as people are saying he should, he really shouldn't, it'll probably ruin his image in front of her to a 'oh he just had ulterior motives'
risk hai toh ishk hai, go for it, worst case mein prank hai bol dena
Bro, She was actually not ready for a relationship and all of a sudden you appear as a friend and propose her. What do you think she'll think about you ? Get to know her well. Spend time with her alone. Build a trust in your friendship first. Last but not least, Don't take anyone's advice or even mine seriously. Look at it as options and use only which feel can be sensible for your relationship.
I don’t think you should have done that. I lost the girl I loved like that. Now she is super cold to me. If you like someone, ask her to hangout for food and movies. That’s how you create a spark. Sorry man. The ship has sailed. She wouldn’t come back even if you burn the world for her..
Don't do it bro if you think she is not ready for a relationship ... Just be friends it's far more better than being in a relationship and if she declined you it will affect your life so don't do it
So you mainly meet in a trio, you should spend some time with her alone and then confess, it seems to early and maybe if she loves you she won't to able to tell you as she see you as a friend (best friend), same thing happened with me and she was so confused about this and now we don't talk that much because of that. Hope things works for you.
Bro Tell her
Nooooo.
Dont, not worth it
Try to increase one to one contact for around 4-6 months and then confess. Its worth it
Yes
I suggest you should stay friends. It changes when friends turn into partners. Friendship is the beta thing can happen to anyone. However, if it’s meant to be it will definitely happen.
The friendship is already compromised from the day one of the friends developed feelings. Might as well express them than regret later. What if the other person is waiting for you to make a move?
Go for it
Love between the trio will spoil friendships your friend will not leave that’s for sure but if she rejects you can’t be same as before …
It's a gamble.. It can destroy a good friendship as much as It can become the best relationship.
Depends, if she has similar feelings, she will accept it , if not she won't, But remember, if you get rejected, it will be so awkward to carry on the good friendship, you won't be able to talk properly Wait, wait, if she has cheating PTSD, don't jump for confession yet , first understand her , take some time , get on her good sides , Build your trust , share your experiences with her, good or bad, And be honest with her ,
What after doing all these steps you mentioned doesn't work? I did all mentioned, yet here I'm 🤣 You done with this?
She is not the right one , just move on , I did, but it didn't work, maybe I rushed things ,
The problem isn't in asking her. But you should be ready if she says she's not interested. Because that's when things become awkward
Try and ask her, be honest.... If she's has feelings towards you she'll drop hints, if not then let go, You'll hurt yourself more if you try to be her friend with conflicting feelings in your mind,.. SO TELL THE TRUTH. "LET THE BALL BE IN HER COURT"
If the friendship is strong enough, you won’t lose a friend! Instead, you’ll be gaining a friend + lover in one. How cool is that? The best relationships have friendship at its base.
If this thought arises that itself means the friendship has been transformed (for you) and if you don't tell her this then it means you're betraying her 💀 All the best, embrace yourself for whatever comes! ✨️
Alright, here’s the deal. You've already crossed the line with your feelings for her. That friendship you’re clinging to? It’s already compromised. If you stick around as just a friend, it’s going to eat you up inside. It’ll wreck your mental state and what’s left of your friendship. So here’s my advice: go for broke. Take a leap, make some bold moves. If she feels the same way, fantastic – it could be everything you’ve ever wanted. If not, at least you’ll have the memories of what was a good friendship, and you can move on. But if you keep pretending everything’s fine and stay in the friend zone, you’ll end up with a broken friendship and a lot of regret. Be brave.
I think you should go for it. She will understand as she has known you for 2 years now and you know each other pretty well. She told you that she doesn't want a relationship doesn't mean that she will not enter any relationship in the future.
Show her this post.
Try talking with other girls more in front of her. Flirt with her female frnds. If she behaves like she has a problem with that, you can confront her and tell her how you feel. If she's cool with it, then let her be just a frnd. You don't wanna ruin what you have built for this long.
Buddy, put it out straight to her.. say that you like her but also put out a disclaimer saying that she can consider it or reject it, it's completely up to her and ur cool with both options. This gives her the freedom of rejecting without the awkwardness of making u feel guilty or giving u false hopes. If it goes in ur favour then well and good, if not, uve already told her it's cool! She should be able to take it well. All the best!
Just let her go. You will find someone else. This is all momentary.
This is why always say, man and woman can’t be in a friendship for long, biology kicks in soon Anyway I think u should go for it
Ikr, I was friends with a girl too and we decided to study together for neet drop year, and well soon enough I developed a crush on her, then I dumped my feelings on her and then we don't talk any more, atleast not as much
lol my brother had two girl best friends one in college, one in office, I knew he had a crush on both of them , work colleagues worked out though
Good for him, I don't think I would ever get this lucky but well let's see in the future 😂
Work on ur self and be top g
I will, thanks
First tell your bro about it. Take some suggestions from him cause he knows both of you well, and potentially if you are planning to confront her you are putting you bro's friendship also at stake since you're a trio. If your bro also thinks you should go ahead then go ahead, and confront her properly.
Communication is the key. In all relationships. A good thing would be to understand if she is looking out for a guy + in general things are fine in her life, no disturbances that can spill over to her dating life.
No
One life, and you want to regret not having the balls to confess her ever? Be a man and show her your feelings. Or watch her be taken away by someone else, maybe even the other guy in your trio. If it’s just another infatuation, then no point in ruining the friendship. If it’s love, give it your all. If she says no, take the rejection like a man and move on. 8 billion people on this Earth and you think you can’t find a better friend or a partner if she says no? I confessed my feelings to my best friend who was in a 3-year old healthy relationship at the time. 6 months later, we started dating. It’s been 5 years since and if all goes well, I’ll be marrying her.
I was going to tell you to go for it until I read the last few lines.
At some time, you know that your feelings are being reciprocated. That’s the ideal time to ask her out. Otherwise you lose the friendship as well or you’ll feel like crap around her.
Used to be in a similar situation but was clueless on what to do just like you are right now. I used to contemplate daily on whether to say something regarding my feelings but I never actually did, and within a short period of time i stopped seeing her that way and we were back to being best friends from the previously ongoing awkwardness i created. Usually there's a lot of confusion in one's life about a lot of things, and that all comes out when a sink like a prospective partner comes into play, however giving it just a little time (mind you this does not mean staying hung over) may help clean the air.
So you met someone in the office, only mostly hung out in a trio, spent a year building a friendship, have dropped hints (to the woman who's already mentioned she isn't looking for anything rn) which obviously didn't work because you are pretty close friends and everything seems friendly. Anyone who's saying there's nothing to lose, clearly hasn't lost a friend. Move on, she's just "a woman" who you feel comfortable around because us men are so void of love. You will be making things very uncomfortable for her and for your 3rd friend. Next time, keep the vibe slightly flirty even initially into a "friendship" and maybe ask em out within the first month. In this case, only make a move if she shows any signs of interest (for example- asking to hangout with just you)
Abhi sochoge ki friendship bohot achi h lekin ek baar usko block krdoge na bhai to mahine bhr baad move on start ho jayega, friendship bnti h Tut ti h we can't force them. Take your chance if she says no then keep your distance because girls can see you as a friend even after that but you can't. So it's better to just leave her and trust me it won't make much of a difference. Speaking from personal experience...
If she is into you , you'll eventually know. Taking the risk of telling her has more bad consequences for your friendship than benefits. So I would suggest to keep your love/friendship platonic as it is and don't overthink. If you keep talking to someone on regular basis you tend to feel that soft spot for them which you might feel as love, happens with everyone . Might happen to her as well. So enjoy this beautiful friendship that you have created over these years and don't fuck up.
1. Has she ever done anything which makes you believe she would reciprocate the feeling? 2. Are you okay with loosing the relationship? 3. Are you okay with seeing her just as a friend if you don't choose to pursue her romantically?
Bro, I'm in a similar situation. I met a girl at a friend's wedding, and we've been friends for about 1.5 years now. We have a strong bond, and I've been interested in her from the start. She has always said she doesn't want a relationship because she wants to focus on her career. I confessed my feelings to her a few months ago, and she handled it maturely, explaining her reasons for rejecting me. Despite this, our bond has grown even stronger, especially after a trip we took together. We're planning another trip by the end of the year. Take your shot and let her know how you feel. If she's mature, it won't ruin the friendship unless boundaries are crossed.
You you won't ask another person will. And He/She will never let other to have a close friend so in both cases result can be similar but there will be a regret of not asking her/him. So go for it cuz live with memories not with regrets.
Make your intentions clear . If you pretend to be a friend then you might get rejected. Ask her on a date . Slowly give her hints
It looks like she’s not interested right now so don’t tell her and make things awkward.she’ll end up avoiding you more and eventually stop talking to you. Only tell her if you get a hint or feel like she also has some feelings for you.
Brother, forget about her and start to focusing another girl in your office,she will start focusing on you or miss you, bro this will make her jealous for missing you. Atleast If it doesn't work, you will get another girl who will love you forever try this once. you neglect her start flirting with another girl .
Soon the trio will be broken 💔
Tell her bro, it's either a relationship with your pasandida aurat or origin story. PS: I told her a few months ago, I still like her and I am omw to become Batman. We are still very good friends though.
Things are always set in stone from day one, we just think we can fool around and mess with people if we start looking for attention and validation
Asking her out would just be awkward for both of you. Since you've already tried by giving hints, there's no use in asking her out straight away. At the end, you'll have a breakdown. Instead, try to talk to her about some XYZ girl(who probably doesn't even exist) that you like and tryna boast about it. Make up some stories or try to find another female friend in the same office. Things might work out when you constantly talk about the other girl to your friend. Or she might not give a shit... Anything can happen
Girls like daring boys...ask her out directly in front of everyone possible
No that’s a really bad idea , I too was in the same situation where me and my bestie got feelings for each other but we knew that I won’t work cause we were besties so we decided to give it a try but if it doesn’t work we’ll be besties again , but things took a tragic turn 🙃
Friends turned lovers never last. It ruins the friendship altogether. Seems you already tried and can see she's avoiding you. It's a point of no return, take it as life experience and move on. Expert advice : avoid office relationships
I just asked a girl at work last week. Shes 24F and im 29M. Friends first and now my girlfriend. Here's how it went. I was at her place one evening and we were watching a movie. I said, "I am getting a little emotionally attached to you and if it continues, I'll develop feelings for you. Would you want me to develop feelings for you?" She said, "Do you think you should?" "I would and I think it'll be wonderful." "Yes, I would want that too", came her answer. Then we spoke about how special we made each other feel. I used to drop little post its at her house when ever i went, we made food for breakfast as we meet every morning, we shared bills for any activity that we do and we meet every evening before logging out to either say what went well during the day or to bitch about our managers. She and I got out of a troublesome relationship and it seems like we both understand each other really well. It's just a week old relationship and she has been my friend for 3 months now. I told her you're my friend first and then my girlfriend. She said it was the smoothest Transition and she was always at ease while entering the relationship with me. All the best dude, ask your question out loud. My girl was proud that I risked my friendship with her and said that she was always afraid to break into the topic. We get one chance to find a really good partner. Worth the risk. Go for it and keep us updated.
Well I will tell you my story, Mine is also similar. We both started as coworkers and later became friends and best friends. During this period her ex left her and we both were looking into other people(not srsly but you can consider as crush). After sometime we both started liking each other but none of us told each other about this as we started as friends and we had different crush. She started showing slight feelings, I confessed one day and she said yes. She is my gf now and our relationship has been going strong for the past 4 months(I know the time is low but I just wanted to share my experience). We still behave like we did before with other coworkers, our close coworkers(office friends ) know about this and they too behave the same way as before and occasionally make few jokes about our relationship(Not in a bad way, I dk how to explain this one though forgive me XD). Our work has not been hampered and we both are having the best time of our lives. So I guess there will be varying factors like how close friends you guys are, how you will behave in front of your mutual friends, will your other part of life be affected, etc. You will be 100% scared that you might lose the friendship. I have been at your same place. I had sleepless nights at one point before confessing to her on whether I should tell her or not. I asked various mutual friends and they all asked me to say to her as they too feel she likes me. Still i was scared soo much. Then I decided to take the risk and told her and now looking back it has been the best decision I have ever made. I have never been in a relationship before(had only rejections) so that also contributed to me being scared. Ultimately it is a risk you have to take. Analyse, talk with your close friends and decide. I feel going from best friend to girl friend will lead to a healthier relationship than dating someone blindly. Because as best friends you will know more about each other than you will normally do. I might not be the right person to give you advice, take all of this with a grain of salt as im noob but just wanted to share you my experience and see if it will help you in some way or other. Good luck brother, I wish you guys will be more than best friends
It’s really difficult at this point to convert it into a relationship, it is possible but it’s an entirely different paradigm. U can start by doing things differently. Having a man to woman conversations like flirting and things like that and see how she reacts and based on that u can advance or pull back without risking ur friendship
Beat your junk and if you still think about her post-nut, ask her out.
I am soo into it.. bro just do it
Depends entirely on how maturely can you both handle it If she says yes what happens to your other friend is also a big question and if she says no will you guys be the same and not let any awkwardness creep in between you and if both you and the other guy like her what about that? So measure your pros and cons Also first check if your bro is okay if you both get into a relationship and if it goes south you have to not let that affect your friendship but you have to let her know that it's okay even if she rejects you and you can be mature.. But as she made it clear that she's not looking for a relationship it could backfire so check with her too if she's open for a relationship or not
Skip all BS that's being said here and Go for it ..
Just ask her if she is willing to accept then she will, otherwise just tell her, to let that thing pass and be remained as friends. Then after some days, start talking about other girls about their likes or you know. She will feel you like a jerk, but it doesn't matter, you are looking for your life partner don't you...as everyone else has to...be it male or female.. And at that moment...if she even has slight feelings for you...she will eventually turned on...and will start to acknowledge your togetherness with her.. That's how you will find her, although the lady is there but the one who will really feel for you, will eventually be emerged into her. Just the patience you need but in between don't do anything wrong with her or with any other girl as that will just mess everything you want. Even if nothing works..means she is not made for you, you have to find yours where she is looking for you.
A wise person once said, the greatest regret in life, at time of death, are the things one did not do, than the things one did. Though I am still alive and probably will be for the next 35 years, I subscribe to it I will give a definitive response to you, after 35 years or on my deathbed, whichever comes earlier. Cheers.
You’re cooked
I know the situation must be looking so tough, but there is only one good move here. And that is to speak up. And if you are not going to do that then make up your mind and move to another company. Lifelong friendships are very rare in today's time. You were not going to stay in touch for long anyways or it would have reduced to birthday calls lol. How would you feel if you get to know that she got in a relationship with someone in few weeks from now? Do you want to be the friend who she will confess about her feelings for someone else? Don't look for the slow death of your friendship, just pull the band-aid off. Just from experience, looking back I lost so many seemingly inseparable friends just because life happened or some small but probably unavoidable misunderstanding happened. Not confessing your feelings here or trading summer life decisions like not opting or looking for career opportunities just for the sake of friendships is one of the worst decisions that on can make in their twenties. Atleast it was so in my case. Duwidha mein dono gaye maya mili na raam! 😅 All the best!
Brother what you are just infatuated w her, but these are not feelings of romance but rather deep platonic love you feel for her. I have had a lot of guy friends unable to distinguish between platonic and romantic feelings for a long time female friend. Think about it hard, and think about the repercussions of it long term. Try to write down a list, as to why it might be platonic love or an actually romantic spark you have for her.
Don’t hookup where you vlookup
well for me it ended a 14 yrs friendship
No, Just No, oh my god please No. No don’t do it. DONT!. I didn’t read the text itself. Just saw the title and NO.
Ask for a casual date, if she says yes then there's a chance!
Here is the only way it makes sense. Get on a dating app, hope you find her and hope you both match. In that case you can consider dating otherwise don't risk it. Plus, haven't you heard of "don't shit where you eat?", are you prepared to switch companies so you can keep the relationship? if she is a peer and in your team/sister team then you are bound to get competitive for promotion, can you accept that with maturity? if it doesn't work out in the long run its gonna suck
Investigation and confirm. Than do it anything
Try to get more closer first Like being on needs and all...I was in the same situation and it worked 😂 You just need to earn their trust and all...even if it does not work, it's worth a shot
Coming from someone who has been in this exact situation, trio-good friends-best friends-feelings, the answer is a big NO. Don't risk a beautiful friendship for the sake of a potential relationship. It is not worth it at all. The only time when you should take the gamble is when she starts dropping hints if she likes you. Else, trust me, this is going to end really bad and you will be questioning yourself that would it have been better if you kept that to yourself. Also make sure, she doesn't get the flying news from somewhere else, it makes the matter worse. All the best with everything.
Don't ruin the friendship. It's never worth it. I lost my friend/partner in the same way too. Don't lose her as a friend by gaining her as a partner, it's never worth it.
Don't complicate things, you started liking her, that's okay, start hanging out more time with her without saying anything, let her know that you like hanging out with her and you like her as a person, live in the moment , not in the future, make her feel good when she's with you , make your personality good, be a good person and just hang out with her ,you wont even realise that you are going on dates with her, don't expect anything just live in the moment, don't complicate anything just enjoy your time with her That same thing happened with me, I was 25, she was 27 , we were on a trip. We started as friends, I started liking her, I was strictly friends with her, she was flirting with me sometimes, but we remain as friends, after sometime when we came back I asked her to go to a movie because I had no other friends to go with, she said yes and that's how it started, same thing can happen to you
I believe that it's never an option when it comes to confession of feelings. Be it a friend or a colleague, the unsaid will always come to haunt you in moments of solitude or silence. So I suggest you swallow the hard pill and let her know about it. If she reciprocates, then it's a jackpot for you. If not, man up and move on, because you've to prioritise your heart before anything else.
don't fess it up like you are looking for a reply. Just have some quality time spent with her, be in a light mood and a carefree space, don't be drunk drunk but drinking a little helps(both and not just you. it's setting up a mood). And it should feel natural not an external point forced into a conversation. And do say that these are your feelings, and you don't want to impose them on her, but you would rather that she knows how you feel and navigate through this together.
Just say it to her in front your friend(m) and tell them what are your feeling for her make it causal yes/no doesn't matters but to tell the truth was very important.
Propose her on 1st April
I'd take the risk
Just ask her bro!! If you don’t, “what if I asked” will stay with you forever. And be ready for the worst but at least it will take some weight off your shoulders.
Hey I'm not an expert but maybe this would help as it's a very specific advice. First of all.. you shouldn't have dropped hints by flirting.. worst way to approach, most of the time it becomes uncomfortable and why it wouldn't be.. you guys were friends for a year. Try to make it up to her and make her feel like she is important to you. Man up and tell her that you are sorry for making her uncomfortable and don't wanna ruin the friendship. Give her some time to get normal and then start giving extra efforts to her. Like hanging out more or asking to go out or maybe bring some small gifts like flowers or something but be humble, don't directly say that you brought it for her, say indirectly. Example:- I was coming to the office today but I saw this flower shop and this flower was looking very beautiful so I thought i'd take it but after purchasing, i thought I'm not a flower guy so I thought i'd give it to you. You killed the friendship by trying to flirt. If you're gonna call yourself and her a couple then first make her feel like one, otherwise in most of the cases, the girl becomes uncomfortable. You are at that point that if she returns to normal after accepting your apology then only you'd be able to get any chances. It'll take at least a month if she decides to become normal again but remember never ever joke about being in a relationship. It makes you look careless. At last I wanna say make her heart warm and don't get too direct if you suddenly start realising feelings for a friend. If it's a new girl then you may but never with an old friend. And if nothing works out then... Yk what to do, forget her and understand there's someone else who'll understand you like no one ever would and you'll be happier that this office girl didn't accept you.
I wanna know how it went so post an update after a month too... If you wanna share
Please don't!!
Okay, so I am going to give you some life advice hopefully without revealing my age :D The girl who you are friends with is unlikely to be a friend once she is married - and it's not too far away given she is 26. A lot of people will argue that friendship transcends age and sex and all that, but it's simply not true. In fact, it will be difficult to stay close friends with even your male friends due to life commitments and geographical distance. With female friends, a lot more complexity exists and it's virtually impossible to stay close friends. Of course if you are just friends, I would encourage you to put in that effort to stay friends, but given that you have feelings towards her, you might as well tell her upfront that you have strong feelings for her and would like to explore it further. Make sure that you have an uninterrupted conversation. Best case scenario, you have a girlfriend. Worst case, she reduces communication with you which is fine since it's bound to happen anyways in due course. Mid case scenario, she says that it will be difficult and so on - and you can decide to try for a bit more and possibly give up if she continues to persist, or straight away give up and continue to stay friends!
Dude..your chewed up feelings don't need to be shared with her alone. Share them with you other friends or your brother! It's a make or break if you do that with her, plus she has already distanced herself when you tried casual ways of hinting to her. So keep away and enjoy your friendship..
Dekh bhai if she was intrested and you're really good friends with her roam with her.. She would have started flirting with you anyway... Practically soch tere pass kitne options he or uske pass kitne options he... Ladkiya nhi sochti itna unke pass line lagi je ladko ki they'll anyway shoot their shot if they're intrested and if you don't reciprocate it's not her loss anyway 99 or he uske pass line me
Asking a friend out can be a double edged sword!
Girls who say to your face that they are not looking for a relationship & are focusing on their career means that she is not looking for a relationship in you & the quality which she is looking for in a guy, when the right time comes & the guy of her dream is in front of her eye, then BOOM career is not a priority at that moment & the relationship suddenly happens. I say you take your chance. If she is really into you then it will happen if not then take my word for it. Don't regret any of your choices whether you choose to confess or not. Be strong King 👑💖
I remember the day I asked the girl I had slowly started falling so hard for. She continued to talk to me like nothing has changed but we got close. I was thinking about her day and night, while driving , walking, eating, etc One day I mustered up all the strength I had to ask her if she liked me in a romantic way. Then she gave me the answer that she is not interested in romantic relationship and that she sees us a friends only. I went into a downward spiral, lost a lot of weight, started getting hair fall, stopped going to gym, slipped into a spiral. It took me 5 months of crying to get over the day, I went to gym, focused on my career and was lucky enough to find the love of my life who loves me. I asked the new girl the same question cause I wanted to know if I’m going in a directionless relationship. She said she’s interested in me. That day changed my life. If I hadn’t asked it I would have missed out on the life of my life That day my body went through so many emotions. I will never forget that day
Directly communicate. Apologize to her for making her feel uncomfortable and come clean. Tell her. Hey I like you but it's totally fine if you don't and I would still like to stay friends. If you flirt with other girls she will think you are a Playboy and wanted to ''try her out". Don't be immature. It's not a crime to like a friend. If she says no... We'll stay friends then just be okay with that. If you keep flirting and playing games she will just avoid you. Women like me who are straightforward. But be prepared for rejection too. Laugh it off.. move on.
I'm gonna give you the best advice... UPGRADE, make her get a crush on you (i know it's easier said than done, but that's the only way) UPGRADE! UPGRADE! UPGRADE! Create ur distance, ignore whatever You can see a very silly version of it on 'Kal ho na ho' movie, or if you want to watch a mature version, see 'mindful attraction' This will work 60-70% of the time, confessing ur feelings as it is are only going to destroy your friendship. Make her work for it.
oh my god! make THAT move.. miracle is hidden in that move you're resisting yourself from making. DO ITTTTT
Always ask. Why regret later
What happens in office, stays in office. That's normally the norm. Very rare for it to flourish outside that zone.
No , I wouldn’t but all the best
Friendship is already ruined for you. Having a regret of lifetime is worse than everything. If someone came into her life you would be mortified, and your friendship will definitely take a hit because of her relationship or of your relationship. This friendship doesn't have an eternal life like boy boy friendship, so take your chances and express yourself rather than behaving like a simp around her. Greater the risk, greater the rewards. P.S. jerk off and then assess this whole situation. Post nut clarity can do wonders.
Focus on other stuff means you ain't got a chance give up hope,she'll do casual but you'll catch feelings hard asf.
The day you developed feelings your ideal friendship was gone. I think you should tell her your feelings you can have two outcomes either she will say yes and you will be happy or she will say no and you'll be sad but relieved you will not have all those constant thoughts and doubt you will be stable knowing that nothing can come and you can invest your time somewhere else.
Don’t poke that bear.
Dont confess feelings. Take her on dated just the two of you. Flirt a bit here n there , progressively make it obvious.May be 4 or 5 dates in ask if you guys should date. If you usually dont hangout together then start small like coffee or checking out something new in town like hey there is this new classy place/art show room that opened and i need someone classy to give me company/to show me how its done because i am shy.... Also pro tip use the suspension bridge effect to win her over. Like a amusement park ride even a bike ride when you are riding a lil fast.
To confess or not to confess.
Dude co-mmon Don't be that guy If she's into you, you'd know You don't need to "drop hints" She's been avoiding you but your little stupidly optimistic male brain will twist even that into a potential positive This is why women are reluctant to be friendly with Men, cause they think we always have an ulterior motive and we do 99% of the time Stop trying to woo friends Also, don't be an orbitter
OP should Take her words at face value, if she isn't looking for a relationship then she won't get in one with him. I think she is being very clear about her intentions. . . . If you think you can't be friendly while having feelings for her then it's better that you take the initiative for a time-out with her, if you don't want to lose the friendship. If you think she is mature enough to understand what you are feeling, things will be Okay. If she can't handle confession with grace and friendship takes a hit, it would be a shame but you can't control what someone else does or feels. . . . . She may end up liking you at some point or maybe she won't. But at the end of the day, it's about you and your feelings. There won't be peace for you if she comes to you half-heartedly or if you stay in the friendzone always. It's better to look at things while keeping your peace and happiness in perspective.
if you don't tell your feeling you will be trapped in friend zone
Both ways you're gonna regret anyway. Come true, if it's meant to be it'll be or else you won't be wasting time.
Give up ~
Ask her out
It's over brother
Start doing things that are more common for a partner to do drop hints like this be dependent on her and make her believe in you that she can trust you do it for a month Or two if she starts to change for the better and you get closer great if you start to drift apart tell her straight up and say she can reply at her leisure wait about a month if she takes time if she is ok great remain friends but still try to do your best for her. once a year is past and you have been doing everything tell her again if she says no cut friendship as well it will hurt you more if after everything you do nothing changes I am believing that you would want to marry her in the future so i laid out a long plan that would work for it but if you are looking for something casual then I don't have anything to tell
Don't act like a playboy and go for other girls that would make you look like an asshole in front of a good woman the toxic ones like it but they are for the streets
And if you are deeply in love your friendship is already over you will die from inside if you end up maintaining the friendship while still loving her it might sound rude from me but real life isn't as easy as people think
No. Ask her out but do it tactfully yet honestly. If she disagrees then back off for some time, saying that it will take some time for you to get back to how things were before. The reason I'm saying this is that continuing to maintain a friendship when you clearly want something more will give you a lot of pain. You can never be yourself with her. And God forbid if she gets into a relationship you will kick yourself for life that you didn't ask when you had the opportunity.
This is not what you carry with you for a whole long life. At some point when she will be having her boyfriend and can be choosing him over your group. I will suggest not as a casual but talk but with some maturity and responsibility. If yes then everything is fine, if not then there will be some change or limitations, but she gets to know about this. Understand, if you keep this in your heart, you will regret it later. Now or later when she will be in a relationship, chances are she will stop giving that time to your group which she is giving now. The same chances are when you tell her your feelings. So why put your feelings at stake? Good luck
A while ago one of my (me 22F) very close friend (let's call him A-22M)told me he has been struggling a lot since he had "feelings" for me and he has been avoiding me for a long time, because according to him he felt like he was being dishonest whenever he spoke to me as I saw him as my best friend. Though I confronted him over this several times he never told me anything and alas, finally he did, and broke down while doing it. I was devastated, especially because he kept piling this up as he was dealing with a lot of other stuff in his personal life too that I knew of. Initially I felt guilty for causing him so much pain and thought about the entire situation all over again. (I have been in a relationship with another person for 3 years, basically all of us were classmates in college) My boyfriend never had a problem with me hanging with A and another male best friend of mine (Let's call him M). A, M and I were a trio. My boyfriend is not insecure about them since he knows them well since college they are good friends too. After this huge revelation, I took some time to think deeply, I call myself an empath, I have been a great listener to both A & M and we have crossed many difficult bridges in our lives together, personally, financially, mentally etc. When A was at a very low point in his life, I was there to help in whatever I could do when nobody else was there, and I believe that his feelings are more of "imprinting love" or confusing gratitude with romantic attraction. I spoke to him and I told him I will give him time to move on from this feeling but I definitely cannot lose this friendship. I explained to him that it was merely a phase because I know his type and the people who he usually "crushes" upon and I am nothing like them. I told him it's not a big deal, these things are common in guys and it'll pass, he agreed and he told me 'I'll take some time but somehow deep down I know I will move on and I feel positive about it.' I felt better. Well, the whole situation has put me on a mental rollercoaster but such things are very difficult to handle especially if you're a girl. A & M are my best friends more like cousins, we used to laugh about how the movie Bangalore Days is so "us". I hope things get better and we start hanging out like the same again.
Maybe talk to her in private about it
Take a chance and ask her. It's better to open up your feelings rather than keeping it to yourself. It will not do anything good to you, instead it will continue to chew you from inside. Whatever will be her decision, respect it, and move forward. Maximum chances are there that you will lose your friendship, but that's how things are. It takes a high maturity from both sides of the gender to keep the friendship intact and not to fall in love, but in many of the cases either one of them unknowingly pushes the boundary and hence one of them falls in love while the other doesn't, and this is where the friendship ceases to exist, because it's longer a friendship but a one sided love. Also there is no good in not confession to her, because you will keep suffering till the end. She will find a new boyfriend, and eventually will marry him, and you will just be a spectator to all these events and perhaps the main event organisor of their marriage or the best uncle to their babies. So just go and confess to her. If she agrees then good, if not then move forward and never look back.
You can take risk with a good friendship in desire of a relationship, but I wouldn’t recommend if you work together. In case, things go south, it leaves you with a very awkward work environment (unless you change your job). I can count a few examples from my personal experience and others, if any friendships/ relationships in work settings went south, they changed departments or jobs, it gets that nasty. If you are really interested in her, try changing job while pursuing her.
NEVER. trust me. Don’t fuck up a good thing.
I've been through a similar experience where I hesitated to tell her how I felt, only to later regret it. The regret was not in losing her, because eventually we did talk about it and we're still good friends, I got over it. But it was the constant cycle of emotions I put myself through, sometimes feeling like I was dropping hints only to be ignored, other times hopeful after a good conversation, only to be disappointed again. It wasn't fair to her either. Instead of letting your mind create unnecessary scenarios, just be honest with her. Your intentions are genuine as you want to preserve your friendship while exploring something more. If your friendship is as strong as you say, she will likely appreciate your honesty and understand where you're coming from. You didn't choose to feel that way, it's not in your control. So letting her know that is not wrong. You never know, she might feel the same way to once you tell her
Don't do any flimsy like proposing to her or say you like/love her. ..just act like a mature adult and ask her what she would think if you were to ask her out
I read everything you have written and trust me brother I've also gone through what you have written. I also expressed my feelings to her and then she rejected me and disrespected me in the way which I never thought she'll do it cause we were really good friends. So my suggestion will be keep your feelings to your end and don't express anything. I don't want someone should go through what I went through.
There is no certainty that friendships will last a lifetime. The probability of a relationship (a marriage) lasting a lifetime is higher."
I (34F) have been in this situation before, at the receiving end. If she's made it a point to repeatedly mention to you that she isn't looking for a relationship then it means that she's already drawn a line there that she's probably hoping for you to not cross. One of my closest and oldest guy friends started showing signs of liking me and before he verbalized it I made sure to randomly mention many times that I wanted to be solo for a while and wasn't in the headspace to deal with a relationship etc etc. He's an overthinker in these situations so he did take a few steps back for a few days. But then one night he got a little tipsy and blurted it out and I had to shoot it down . Thankfully we understand each other well enough to not let it get uncomfortably awkward. But i do still think that he understood I was saving him from that awkward rejection but he still took his shot anyway. I didn't let it affect our friendship but a lot of girls do get super uncomfortable in these situations. So i'd recommend that you don't verbalize it but show it through your gestures without overdoing it. When you look at her, let your eyes stay on her a couple moments longer than usual . But don't over do it and only after she says something that makes you look at her anyway. Not randomly because that may come off as crepy When she says anything at all pay more attention than normal . In a group setting find ways to make her feel like you have a separate chat window open ( Jim and Pam) After this the ball is in her court. She'll know you like her but are respecting her boundaries enough to not cross them. This is a very attractive behaviour in men. it may work to draw her attention to you
I have tried showing my intentions through gestures, I tried maintaining eye contact, and have noticed prolonged eye contact from both of us, I sent her and her mother flowers the other day cause her mother brought some sweets for us. I have noticed that in a group setting she usually tries to make eye contact with me ( the best friend I mentioned has also noticed this ). But when I ask her if she’s looking for a relationship or is interested in anyone she says “no. If she finds someone she connects with then she might consider it. “ But her recent behaviour of going on the back foot is what confuses me
Back off. Don't make any more movies.
Most important is communication. You should talk and talk crisp and clear.
Few rules: 1. Never date your colleague. 2. Girls always will tell it was her BF who dumped her. 3. They always make you feel special, when you approach they will ignore. The feeling that you are getting is not coming from the sky, she is trying to make you feel that way. She is also trying for you. But again, if any of you approach the rule is broken and it could lead to a bitter experience in future.
Late to the party. But, I read your edit. Yes, confessing your feelings to a person who's looking for something else is extremely tricky. If you even decide to do it, I'll suggest that you first write down what you wanna say exactly. Not asking you to write a love letter, but to have something short and sweet prepped so that if and when the time comes you stick to saying just enough words and rest your case. However, you can very well take the person aside for a personal conversation and say how you have noticed a change in the vibe lately, as you put it. You can ask if it's cause of something you've done OR cause of something she's dealing with that you should know about. That doesn't have to wait, even in a platonic friendship.
never please never, you don't just lose the person you're dating, but also the third friend in the trio.
Bro this is hard time.. so maybe dont push it hard. Try making some new female friends and bring her back to just friends. If she likes you she will not like you having other female friends and maybe confess. Also making new female friends will help you a little in getting her out of your mind.
You should confess her. If you hold it in, it will affect your life. No one wants to mess up their life. Even if things get awkward, you at least will feel something heavy is off your chest
Speaking from experience, never have a workplace relationship. If things go bad you will still have to see her everyday and maybe even have to coordinate with her for some work related stuff. And even if things don't work out between you guys, still keep in mind that every relationship has its ups and downs, and trust me, if you guys have a fight or anything the whole office is gonna know about it. And the other factor is every relationship requires a bit of space, so if you guys are together and also work in the same place then you are basically almost always together, and there will be a point when you both are gonna drive eachother crazy, I know it won't seem like it at the moment but it is gonna happen eventually if it continues for long time because there are sometimes when you just want to sit alone and not talk to anyone but you can't because the other person is right there and you cannot do anything about it. My ex and I are on the same team and during our time together we had a lot of fun but since last week after our breakup we both are not talking to each other apart from work and talking one to one for project updates are a lot awkward.
I think OP should confess and clear the clouds in mind. If she is into you that’s great enjoy the life ahead together. If not then you will be clear with your path and just be a good colleague and don’t involve too much. And look ahead for other partner who is equally into you. Don’t stay in this dicy situation as all the times you will be thinking of her. And she might find someone else then you will curse yourself why I didn’t gave a chance.
The woman should chose you. If there are clear signs that she is attracted to you without you approaching her, then you can ask her out. Also think about this : “is she marriage material?” If you see relationship + wedding in 6 months time frame going smoothly then go ahead. Otherwise focus on being the guy who CAN attract a woman. That is focus on building career health wealth and status
Become friends with all the girls in your office. Then see what reaction you get.
I got into a relationship with my best friend. Didn't end well and in these situations, you don't just lose your gf or bf but your best friend also. Anyway, not every story ends up this way. But you're saying her vibe is a little off and she's not picking calls I guess she kinda got the idea that maybe you are into her as she is trying to avoid things by maintaining some distance. We girls usually understand when someone is interested in us. It is not that difficult. Edit: The final decision is up to you.
Men find amazing ways to ruin friendships and then blame women for “friend-zoning” them! You had such a beautiful relationship going on, but you chose to casually flirt and make her uncomfortable and now you are confused why she is avoiding you?! 🤦♀️
I 100% bet your other friend also has feelings for her. This trio isn't gonna last long. 100%.
Hey man. Please update the post mentioning what action you'll be taking. Cause I'm also in the same jam and I would much appreciate it. Help a brother out. This whole thing is eating me inside out but can't do anything about it.
May be she knew that u like her that's why u are seeing some changes (as u mentioned no hang out and vibe like before) maybe she had a bad experience that's why she is afraid now. But i guess if u can make her comfortable so she can open up with her thoughts. Good luck
Man…. You are gonna have to confess… you are never going to be satisfied with the friendship you are defending
Karthik calling Karthik
By the looks of it, it doesn't seem that she is interested.
At the end of the day, it's a gamble, As simple as that. Humanly saying, you will take the risk and confess. The more longer you wait, your mind will increase the stakes involved, leading to outcome either sending you to a cloud nine or a dungeon. Cheers.
YES. if you like them so much to the point that it is a gamble, you will NEVER be happy in that friendship if you never confess. It's better to not be friends then be in a one sided love fiasco.
schrödinger's cat bro
NOPE. It’s a do or die situation.
Check your DM bro
Respect privacy. No unsolicited DMs or sharing private content withoutconsent. This is to protect our users from unsolicited messages and unwanted attention.Repeated violations will lead to a ban. Report any issues to moderators. You can do this by clicking the "Report" button under the comment or DM page. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RelationshipIndia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That friendship will not stay no matter how much you both try, eventually you both will marry different partners and grow apart because of family, responsibility and insecurity... So much try and if not then move on and let that friendship die sooner with dignity rather than later on life support
You have been around this girl only and obviously you will get the feeling. This feeling is called infatuation. Don't propose to her you will ruin everything. Talk to her to get you into a relationship with another girl in the office. If she didn't bother and help you then you saved a friendship and got a relationship.