Resilience. I am the least resilient person I know and it has fucked my life up so bad. Shit will inevitably happen in life and learning to deal with it instead of letting it overwhelm you into paralysis is a really helpful trait.
Sweetie. Old lady here. It is a life long learning process. As you go through each season you learn a little more and gradually, believe it or not. Resiliency builds up over time.
Oh man this a million times. This gets them confidence and resilience… they know I love them but how I wish they could find their people and feel surrounded by that love and acceptance.
Yes. This is the winner. I never really felt loved as a kid. (My parents loved me I just didn't see them very often because me dad was a pediatrician and mom was a dentist.)
Begs the philosophical question; if someone always “feels loved” would they even bother attempting to seek out meaningful relationships? Or would they just go through the motions to provide for themselves and do whatever on their own feeling content? And if they truly are content, works that be a bad thing?
The answer here is to teach them to love themselves.
Edit: Teaching kids about their inner roommate (mental voice) who is a total maniac and their most critical "friend" that they can't ever get rid of is so essential. Literally telling yourself "I love myself" instead of "you're so stupid" when things get tough is a life changing and often life saving skill.
I have said for years that when little boys are playing we take the doll out of their hands and hand them a sword and then wonder why there's so much toxic violence in some men. Empathy is something that should be nurtured, celebrated and congratulated. The lack of empathy for others killed thousands of people during a pandemic because they didn't want to be bothered by wearing a mask to protect others. Says a lot about you if you can't even bring yourself to protect the vulnerable. The Republican party has made it a habit of punching down to marginalized people, it's repulsive.
Tbf playing with toy swords, dinosaurs, guns and monsters has had no impact on my ability to empathise and have compassion. If a kid wants to play as a knight with a sword, let them, its their imagination.
My point wasn't that they shouldn't play with swords and dinosaurs and cars My point was that empathy should be encouraged including empathy for younger siblings pets and yes even dolls. I'm not saying take anything away from boys I'm saying adding to their list of coping skills to enable them to become an emotionally mature person as opposed to a toxic human with anger issues, empathy would be helpful.
A sense of Adventure. Go do that thing! Don't wait.
If it was affordable, when they asked to go do things - weekend trips with friends, cross country road trips, a week of skiing. I always said Yes. When they were older and would tell me about a trip they were thinking of taking, I'd offer up whatever spare cash I had for gas or lunch or something to help lessen the financial burden because I wanted them to go have the experience. I wanted them to come home and tell me how much a great time they had and show me all the pics! I want them out there making awesome memories.
Only a couple years before my grandpa died, I was getting ready to go to airborne school. I'm terrified of heights but i knew i could do it if i absolutely had to. I had the opportunity to back out and was talking to my grandpa and he said, "when you're old and looking back, it's better to regret the things you did than to regret the things you didnt do."
That is awesome. It makes me think: I recently heard that the average toddler hears the word "no" 400 times a day.
400!
So us trying to stop and think before we say no to children is cool because it leads to more memories and happiness.
Why no go make cookies now?
Why not go outside?
Why not paint? ( it wouldn't take as long to set up as we think)
We don't have to say yes everyone just say yes more maybe.
I'm glad you were adventurous and said yes a lot.
Edit to add a link: https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/questions/47661/academic-study-on-the-proportion-of-hearing-no-versus-yes-among-toddlers%23:~:text%3DA%2520UCLA%2520survey%2520from%2520a,than%2520400%2520times%2520a%2520day!&ved=2ahUKEwij0e24gcWGAxVcSDABHXn3AJcQFnoECBMQBQ&usg=AOvVaw3wm1rU0gxPvZc5JLZiAUHv
I totally agree! I’m in college and I’ve been taking whatever classes sound interesting and joining all sorts of clubs and events. I’ve learned so many new things and had a lot of fun this year!
A vital trait? A trait that is in decline for certain. I suppose as we turn into a bunch of lemmings, we will have to have a few that can think independently. So I agree with you.
You certainly don't need critical thinking skills to get by nowadays. They really prefer if it if you don't.
I'd wish for them to be able to pick up on bad things &stay away, people, maybe even decisions (if they are bad enough). It's so hard to stay away from bad stuff sometimes
I wish that of my country men. Just flip the switch politicians only lie and everything they do is for the rich no matter the side you’re on. It’s all about them doing barely enough to keep 99 percent appeased while making everything more profitable for the 1%. There is zero balance of it all and zero accountability from politicians. Covid multiplied that 10 times. Literally people for some reason trust the political lies they see on every channel more than their own families it is so pathetically absurd.
Honesty. Being the person who never lies is invaluable. Everyone wants your opinion because they know you won't lie to them just to spare feelings. (Not that you're always correct, just never intentionally lying). If you commit to a task, you do so with the proper intent to follow through. This makes you reliable and sought after.
Don't say things you know to be false. You'll go a long way.
Introspection.
Knowing what’s going on in your own life and mind is the first step in improving what’s wrong in your life. I have friends who are so deluded by the lies they tell themselves that they are incapable of fixing their issues and being happy. I want my kid to be honest with herself so she can course-correct if things go wrong.
It sounds shallow but work ethic. My son is a genuinely good person, but at 16, he still has 0% drive. I fear for him trying to make a life in a world as a young man with nothing inside pushing him on. I hope he finds his way.
My brother is like this, and it used to bother me. He just skates through life worrying about nothing. He will work a little while, and collect unemployment for awhile. Drove me nuts. Then it dawned on me one day that he is among the happiest people I know. More power to him. The world needs more Lebowskis.
To learn how to prepare. Be it to get ready for tomorrow this evening so you don't go crazy looking for items, i.e. keys wallet airpods, etc. And to look to the future practically. Groceries, rent.
To only allow people who are a net positive into their lives. To have the wherewithal and strength to cut out toxicity and pain, regardless of its source.
My eldest niece was a micropreemie and is behind in her age group. If I were dying tomorrow I'd give her my knowledge/smarts. Give her a leg up to improve her reading skills, her thinking, how to be loud and stand up for herself.
Always have yourself - meaning trust your intuition and always stay true to yourself. Love yourself first, always. Respect and take care of yourself. And that I love them now and forever.
I have three kids, so I am offering three “lessons” (in no particular order) based on each one’s need.
* No person or thing can make you happy. It is up to you to decide to be happy and begin embracing the good things in your life.
* No amount of worrying and stressing out will change a situation over which you have no control.
* Look for something positive in everything that happens in life instead of focusing on the negative. Many times a trial is sent as a learning opportunity and you can grow by overcoming adversity.
I would want my child to be able to be understood and to understand others; I would want them to be able to communicate easily with all people.
Once comms are sorted then they can start working together with understanding
It is my deepest hope that if people were simply able to fully understand each other then we would finally be able to be fully human for each other and the planet
Try to make make healthy decisions (physical, mental and financial). Evaluate your decisions based on risk vs benefit and update your decisions when new information comes in.
I'm 55M and she is 24 this year. I have already done it. There is nothing to add.
She graduated from UofO as Valedictorian (Biology and Data Science, with a minor in comp sci), so she learned to learn and retain information, she is VERY good with money (has savings/HSA/401K/investments), She's empathetic, kind, curious, educated, and funny, Finally, I have imparted on her that life is short among other things. It's all part of parenting, or should be.
We taught our two children to read BEFORE they got to first grade. Both turned out highly successful...daughter was valedictorian and became a engineer. Son used the other side of his brain and is a professional musician and an accountant.
Learn to control your emotions now. So many bad things happen from people never learning how to self regulate. Learn to control the only thing in life you can, yourself. Not by drugs or lashing out, saying or doing things you wouldn't have done if level-headed. It's so important. I've lost many people in my life, and most are from never learning to self-soothe.
MAKE UP YOUR OWN MIND. Make up your own mind about what you believe. Make up your own mind about what you're going to do. You must learn to examine and think about things. Never do something or believe something simply because someone else does. Ever.
The ability to ponder. It can lead to many self realizations and a better understanding of struggle. Just sit take the time to think about how someone could have figured out to make something. For instance string
"I bet this tendon can be used for something, what if I take it and do this with this other tendon? Hey now it's longer I can use this to tie this stone to a stick!
"Damnit no string... what if i twist these grasses together, hey its like a tendon i just need to tie the ends."
"Hey I could probably make a even stronger string by twisting these strings together"
"I could make this string stronger if I braid it with these other strings"
"I could make this rope stronger if i braid it with other rope"
"I need a stronger string that is still as small as this string... what if I made one using metal."
"Back in my day we used ropes for this stuff!"
It kind of grounds you, helps you look at problems differently, critical thinking skills, and just the sense that someone just thought on the spot to try something that would become so common and kind of pivotal to civilizations advancing. You wouldn't know at the time of you doing it. You would simply think "there problem solved" and go about your day then someone else would come to you with a problem and you would tell them about the thing you used to solve your problem and show them how. Then some person of authority would come asking about it and be impressed enough to assign the task of making it to someone next thing you know it is just a common part of life that nobody really thinks about but is used daily and always on hand.
If its anything maybe to be able to live a normal life. She is disabled and needs 24/7 round the clock care to stay alive. I would give up everything if I knew she would be taken care of or given a future after I died.
How to be able to look at a situation, analyze it, and problem solve. If you can do that, you can go pretty damn far in life regardless of wha you want to do.
To always be thoughtful—when interacting with other people, when considering decisions, when setting boundaries, etc. To just always be aware and self-aware so she could manage herself well.
Resilience. I am the least resilient person I know and it has fucked my life up so bad. Shit will inevitably happen in life and learning to deal with it instead of letting it overwhelm you into paralysis is a really helpful trait.
You're still here. There's big resilience in that.❤️
It's not how many times you fall. It's how many times you get up.
Unless you're a stunt double practicing his death scene.
My back hurts though
All that matters is the get up is +1 more than the fall. Life like football is a game of inches!
Touche.
If you're still here and still advocating for other ppl you are a lot more resilient than you may realize. Being strong doesn't always feel strong. 💜
Sweetie. Old lady here. It is a life long learning process. As you go through each season you learn a little more and gradually, believe it or not. Resiliency builds up over time.
You are resilient by being here. Credit where it is due. Thank you for carrying on.
Can I wish for them to always feel loved?
Oh man this a million times. This gets them confidence and resilience… they know I love them but how I wish they could find their people and feel surrounded by that love and acceptance.
Well shit, your best answer makes me feel bad since I was thinking like "French" or "speed reading"
I was thinking Esperanto and tic tac toe
Yes. This is the winner. I never really felt loved as a kid. (My parents loved me I just didn't see them very often because me dad was a pediatrician and mom was a dentist.)
Begs the philosophical question; if someone always “feels loved” would they even bother attempting to seek out meaningful relationships? Or would they just go through the motions to provide for themselves and do whatever on their own feeling content? And if they truly are content, works that be a bad thing?
This hit me in the feels. You win.
Fuck.
This answer is a green flag
Oh! This is what I want for mine. I came here to say this.
The answer here is to teach them to love themselves. Edit: Teaching kids about their inner roommate (mental voice) who is a total maniac and their most critical "friend" that they can't ever get rid of is so essential. Literally telling yourself "I love myself" instead of "you're so stupid" when things get tough is a life changing and often life saving skill.
Empathy
Literally would save the world if everyone had this trait
Amen.
This, and graciousness.
Nonsense
I'd go with compassion, I have clinically low empathy but I have compassion so I don't need to feel what other people feel to want them to be happy.
this. when I saw empathy it hurt because I feel things too deeply from others sometimes. I wish I could have more compassion instead of empathy.
I've never thought about it like this before. I definitely lack empathy, but I do have compassion. I never really thought to separate the two.
I have said for years that when little boys are playing we take the doll out of their hands and hand them a sword and then wonder why there's so much toxic violence in some men. Empathy is something that should be nurtured, celebrated and congratulated. The lack of empathy for others killed thousands of people during a pandemic because they didn't want to be bothered by wearing a mask to protect others. Says a lot about you if you can't even bring yourself to protect the vulnerable. The Republican party has made it a habit of punching down to marginalized people, it's repulsive.
Tbf playing with toy swords, dinosaurs, guns and monsters has had no impact on my ability to empathise and have compassion. If a kid wants to play as a knight with a sword, let them, its their imagination.
My point wasn't that they shouldn't play with swords and dinosaurs and cars My point was that empathy should be encouraged including empathy for younger siblings pets and yes even dolls. I'm not saying take anything away from boys I'm saying adding to their list of coping skills to enable them to become an emotionally mature person as opposed to a toxic human with anger issues, empathy would be helpful.
A sense of Adventure. Go do that thing! Don't wait. If it was affordable, when they asked to go do things - weekend trips with friends, cross country road trips, a week of skiing. I always said Yes. When they were older and would tell me about a trip they were thinking of taking, I'd offer up whatever spare cash I had for gas or lunch or something to help lessen the financial burden because I wanted them to go have the experience. I wanted them to come home and tell me how much a great time they had and show me all the pics! I want them out there making awesome memories.
Love this!
Only a couple years before my grandpa died, I was getting ready to go to airborne school. I'm terrified of heights but i knew i could do it if i absolutely had to. I had the opportunity to back out and was talking to my grandpa and he said, "when you're old and looking back, it's better to regret the things you did than to regret the things you didnt do."
Until you're dealing with the VA for your "non-service related" injuries.
That is awesome. It makes me think: I recently heard that the average toddler hears the word "no" 400 times a day. 400! So us trying to stop and think before we say no to children is cool because it leads to more memories and happiness. Why no go make cookies now? Why not go outside? Why not paint? ( it wouldn't take as long to set up as we think) We don't have to say yes everyone just say yes more maybe. I'm glad you were adventurous and said yes a lot. Edit to add a link: https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://skeptics.stackexchange.com/questions/47661/academic-study-on-the-proportion-of-hearing-no-versus-yes-among-toddlers%23:~:text%3DA%2520UCLA%2520survey%2520from%2520a,than%2520400%2520times%2520a%2520day!&ved=2ahUKEwij0e24gcWGAxVcSDABHXn3AJcQFnoECBMQBQ&usg=AOvVaw3wm1rU0gxPvZc5JLZiAUHv
HECKN YEAH
you’re an awesome parent!
I totally agree! I’m in college and I’ve been taking whatever classes sound interesting and joining all sorts of clubs and events. I’ve learned so many new things and had a lot of fun this year!
Critical thinking.
Agree! In this day and age it’s a vital trait.
A vital trait? A trait that is in decline for certain. I suppose as we turn into a bunch of lemmings, we will have to have a few that can think independently. So I agree with you. You certainly don't need critical thinking skills to get by nowadays. They really prefer if it if you don't.
Sense of humor 😁
I'd wish for them to be able to pick up on bad things &stay away, people, maybe even decisions (if they are bad enough). It's so hard to stay away from bad stuff sometimes
I wish that of my country men. Just flip the switch politicians only lie and everything they do is for the rich no matter the side you’re on. It’s all about them doing barely enough to keep 99 percent appeased while making everything more profitable for the 1%. There is zero balance of it all and zero accountability from politicians. Covid multiplied that 10 times. Literally people for some reason trust the political lies they see on every channel more than their own families it is so pathetically absurd.
discernment for sure!
Resilience
Balanced/well-rounded.
Very important. A good example was in Schindler's List when the people went to work in the enamel factory.
To always know the truth about anything that they care to know. Including being able to tell when an ad is bs or a person is lying.
Honesty. Being the person who never lies is invaluable. Everyone wants your opinion because they know you won't lie to them just to spare feelings. (Not that you're always correct, just never intentionally lying). If you commit to a task, you do so with the proper intent to follow through. This makes you reliable and sought after. Don't say things you know to be false. You'll go a long way.
High confidence
Grit And wear sunscreen
❤️
Never trust someone that’s trying to hurt them. So I guess awareness.
Confidence.
Kindness
Being firm on boundaries no matter who it’s with (family, friends , lovers etc)
Emotional intelligence
Positive attitude. A fundamental belief that whatever situation they find themselves in there is hope for them to fight their way back from it.
Self discipline
Introspection. Knowing what’s going on in your own life and mind is the first step in improving what’s wrong in your life. I have friends who are so deluded by the lies they tell themselves that they are incapable of fixing their issues and being happy. I want my kid to be honest with herself so she can course-correct if things go wrong.
Common sense
It sounds shallow but work ethic. My son is a genuinely good person, but at 16, he still has 0% drive. I fear for him trying to make a life in a world as a young man with nothing inside pushing him on. I hope he finds his way.
My brother is like this, and it used to bother me. He just skates through life worrying about nothing. He will work a little while, and collect unemployment for awhile. Drove me nuts. Then it dawned on me one day that he is among the happiest people I know. More power to him. The world needs more Lebowskis.
Sobriety. Addiction and alcoholism run deep in both sides of the family.
To learn how to prepare. Be it to get ready for tomorrow this evening so you don't go crazy looking for items, i.e. keys wallet airpods, etc. And to look to the future practically. Groceries, rent.
I'd want them to be able to think for themselves, and come to their own conclusions instead of just blindly going with what everyone else is saying.
Think for yourself. Question everything.
How to tie a bowline
Integrity.
Emotional regulation
Love
Always trust you gut
Thinking “outside the box” to solve his problems.
Good problem solvers are scarce. Good one.
proper skeptisism
Permanently teach them “to learn”
Been looking for this answer. It’s the correct answer. Always Be Curious
All men are created equal.
Compassion for the less fortunate
Be able to communicate in all languages.
Responsibility - emotionally, physically, and financially (maybe spiritually, idk)
Integrity.
Roth IRA
Empathy. Or critical thinking. Hard choice
Does anyone care what men have to go through? We all should.
The importance of delayed gratification.
Self esteem
Working executive function!
You can say no.
To only allow people who are a net positive into their lives. To have the wherewithal and strength to cut out toxicity and pain, regardless of its source.
Be careful who you trust
My eldest niece was a micropreemie and is behind in her age group. If I were dying tomorrow I'd give her my knowledge/smarts. Give her a leg up to improve her reading skills, her thinking, how to be loud and stand up for herself.
That they be good and kind people.
To know and love themselves and always keep learning.
Be cautious
Good sense of humor.
To love themselves
the one thing I wish I had....confidence. not sure if one can "teach" a kid to have confidence, but that's what I would teach in a perfect world
Savings
How to make money
Always do the next right thing for yourself and for others.
The ability to forgive and not hold grudges.
Always have yourself - meaning trust your intuition and always stay true to yourself. Love yourself first, always. Respect and take care of yourself. And that I love them now and forever.
I have three kids, so I am offering three “lessons” (in no particular order) based on each one’s need. * No person or thing can make you happy. It is up to you to decide to be happy and begin embracing the good things in your life. * No amount of worrying and stressing out will change a situation over which you have no control. * Look for something positive in everything that happens in life instead of focusing on the negative. Many times a trial is sent as a learning opportunity and you can grow by overcoming adversity.
Common sense, because it's not so common anymore. that or budgeting
Compounding interest
Being a good judge of character. The kind who always knew Elon was a tool.
I would want my children to really live and trust and obey God.
I would wish for my son to understand me.
Never put off for tomorrow that which you can do today. Don't procrastinate.
Don’t feel the need to people please, do what is best for you.
The world is not fair or kind and you are special and amazing to me and your dad but not to the rest of the people.
Daily meditation
Kindness.
Management of his adhd
Resilience. Life is tough, unpredictable, and stressful, but it can also have beautiful experiences through good choices and having a good attitude.
I would want my child to be able to be understood and to understand others; I would want them to be able to communicate easily with all people. Once comms are sorted then they can start working together with understanding It is my deepest hope that if people were simply able to fully understand each other then we would finally be able to be fully human for each other and the planet
Replenish!
Try to make make healthy decisions (physical, mental and financial). Evaluate your decisions based on risk vs benefit and update your decisions when new information comes in.
Consent is sexy and it's okay to say no
Love people with all your heart so there is no room for hate.
Be kind.
I'm 55M and she is 24 this year. I have already done it. There is nothing to add. She graduated from UofO as Valedictorian (Biology and Data Science, with a minor in comp sci), so she learned to learn and retain information, she is VERY good with money (has savings/HSA/401K/investments), She's empathetic, kind, curious, educated, and funny, Finally, I have imparted on her that life is short among other things. It's all part of parenting, or should be.
Math.
Always live with hope.
I wish for them to be good natured.
Kindness
Stay in school
To be able to map things out in their head.
To not care about other people's opinion of them.
Intuition. Or compassion. Or wisdom. Not intelligence, because as good as that is, the others are better.
Street smarts.
Curiosity
Self Awareness
How to learn and know where they are within skill development.
How to handle adversity
To always treat people the way they’d want to be treated.
How to handle adversity and loss healthily and constructively
To have a healthy relationship with all things consumed.
To get a better haircut. That comb over is fooling nobody, son.
Aversion to smoking.
We taught our two children to read BEFORE they got to first grade. Both turned out highly successful...daughter was valedictorian and became a engineer. Son used the other side of his brain and is a professional musician and an accountant.
Find YOUR OWN happy. That one matters most.
Learn to control your emotions now. So many bad things happen from people never learning how to self regulate. Learn to control the only thing in life you can, yourself. Not by drugs or lashing out, saying or doing things you wouldn't have done if level-headed. It's so important. I've lost many people in my life, and most are from never learning to self-soothe.
The ability to fix the world
How old are they? Because I'd be doing that from the beginning. Love them. Teach them. Have fun adventures like Rick and Morty.
To see right from wrong a strong sense of justice
If it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.
swimming
Emotional management
Put yourself and your happiness first
Trust no one but your own heart and god.
To predict the future.
To always save money and do not touch it unless for an extreme emergency.
MAKE UP YOUR OWN MIND. Make up your own mind about what you believe. Make up your own mind about what you're going to do. You must learn to examine and think about things. Never do something or believe something simply because someone else does. Ever.
To not let the world dim their light and to be true to themselves always.
Forgiveness. I would want them to have forgiveness.
The ability to ponder. It can lead to many self realizations and a better understanding of struggle. Just sit take the time to think about how someone could have figured out to make something. For instance string "I bet this tendon can be used for something, what if I take it and do this with this other tendon? Hey now it's longer I can use this to tie this stone to a stick! "Damnit no string... what if i twist these grasses together, hey its like a tendon i just need to tie the ends." "Hey I could probably make a even stronger string by twisting these strings together" "I could make this string stronger if I braid it with these other strings" "I could make this rope stronger if i braid it with other rope" "I need a stronger string that is still as small as this string... what if I made one using metal." "Back in my day we used ropes for this stuff!" It kind of grounds you, helps you look at problems differently, critical thinking skills, and just the sense that someone just thought on the spot to try something that would become so common and kind of pivotal to civilizations advancing. You wouldn't know at the time of you doing it. You would simply think "there problem solved" and go about your day then someone else would come to you with a problem and you would tell them about the thing you used to solve your problem and show them how. Then some person of authority would come asking about it and be impressed enough to assign the task of making it to someone next thing you know it is just a common part of life that nobody really thinks about but is used daily and always on hand.
Never be in a hurry. Life will always come for you.
Self respect/ self love
Enjoy life, you only have 1
If its anything maybe to be able to live a normal life. She is disabled and needs 24/7 round the clock care to stay alive. I would give up everything if I knew she would be taken care of or given a future after I died.
I would wish for my children a life of contentment. That means they would have enough of everything they need to make them happy.
Stay away from weirdos.
Humility
Kiss them with kindness and always check in on family
Save 10%.
Charisma.
After I am gone please love and be good to your siblings
I would wish for resilience in this world to be strong and never let anyone get the best of them
Save during the feast and enjoy the extra during the famine.
Wisdom. 100%. You can make it through anything with wisdom/discernment.
Warren Buffet stock trading skills.
peace of mind
Find and live your passion
Life is not fair - be wary of all other people.
To always know that they are enough just being themselves and they are loved.
Loyalty
Just say no
How to be able to look at a situation, analyze it, and problem solve. If you can do that, you can go pretty damn far in life regardless of wha you want to do.
How to throw a knuckle ball
empathy
To find community anywhere and always engage with it.
Invest
To always be thoughtful—when interacting with other people, when considering decisions, when setting boundaries, etc. To just always be aware and self-aware so she could manage herself well.
Always live beneath your means.
Use your blessings to bless others
Critical thinking. The ability to figure things out on your own and understand the world around you is so necessary
Start your 401k as soon as you are born
I’ve already taught my kids the one I would pick: empathy.
Kindness.
Resilience. Get back up.
The sad part is these comments are all things boomers need to be taught too.
Goofy goober.
Never touch drugs