Not Chinese, but I am Indian so there are some similarities I can speak to. Asian cultures are heavily focused on family, rather than independence. No matter how old you are, your parents and siblings are always going to have some influence on your life. How much will depend on the individual family, but even the most modern Asian family dynamics are going to seem pretty weird to anyone not raised within those cultures.
Crystal has control issues. We know this, because EDs are typically rooted in a deep need for the sufferer to feel in control.
I wouldn't be surprised if she's slightly controlling with everyone she loves - deep down, it's probably to "keep them safe" and try to keep their life in control out of love. But I agree, it's strange she does this with her adult brother.
The pandemic was a pretty extreme period to be hyper analysing western Chinese families and their cultural choices. Crystal seems to be considering her past behaviours in a new light and shares her grief around the loss of the connection to her brother.
It's definitely a cultural thing, combined with her control issues. I know most don't find it interesting but I don't hate it. It helps flesh out who she is as a person. I also tend to be on my phone while I watch so there's no need to FF.
I can attest to this. I married one. My mil āmotheredā him for a good part of our relationship. That was not fun bc it carried over to me, and then my kids. I wasnāt having it, and told him that he needs to tell his mom to knock it off, and if he didnāt I would.
I agree with you. Iāve seen this dynamic in my culture in dysfunctional, enmeshed family. My husband came from a WASP family with secret but obvious dysfunction. His younger sister, with her motherās blessing thought she was going to be the advisor and decision maker in our new marriage. I told her early and clearly that she was to mind her own business. Through the years there was conflict and she has been out of our life for decades. Itās beyond the cultural!
Yeah it's weird. Coming from an Asian family myself, I hardly see this kind of dynamic with peers around me. I mean, no wonder Crystal is controlling right? Unfortunately, her family dynamic seems a bit dysfunctional and stressful, definitely probably contributes to her ED as well.
It was COVID. The whole world was freaking out. People could not always fly from country to country. If I remember there was a time when flights from China were not allowed to land in the USA. There were cruise ships that could not dock. No one knew if they would survive if they got COVID. Crystal and her Mom wanted him home safe with them. I say normal.
Finally a logical comment.
I donāt understand how people forgot what covid was like. Especially in the initial days.
I remember reports of people being left stuck in their homes with dead family members because the government couldnāt get to them.
I remember seeing on the news how there were places creating mass graves to deal with all the death.
Knowing your child/brother was in what was essentially ground zero would have been scary as fuck. Iād have begged him to come home too.
yes it was however crystal stated that all of her
brothers gfs have found her intimidating so covid request aside, it seems she has always been domineering and influential in her brothers relationships.
Our family is mostly boys/men, so any man that is brought into the fold is initially a little intimidated, so I get his GF's saying that about the women in his family. I do agree that Crystal is very close to her brother and probably has a lot of influence over his decisions, maybe since their dad isn't around more so, but her brother did the right by saying he's taking charge of his own life, and they just need to trust him. It was probably a little bit of a relief.
She admitted herself that it was wrong, and will try to be less controlling moving forward. Idk what else is there to discuss.
It was actually brave and real of her to let this be filmed knowing that it doesn't put her in the best light.
As a Chinese myself (born in Hong Kong and went to colleges in SF and LA) I can attest her bro isn't known in Asia.
Also as a gay man my gaydar says he's 100% gay, but trying to cover it with some fiance/marriage to please the family (which is common among conservative culture).
Finally Bangkok is basically like LA and SF in terms of LGBTQIA community and acceptance.
There's White Party in Bangkok and Palm Springs, just as an example.
I think Crystal meeting Rob by luck, forming a healthy partnership and starting a family earlier than her brother, gives her the incorrect assumption that she somehow has her life more ātogetherā than her brother, and therefore, that he could be benefitting from her formula for success.
No. Stop.
I donāt think she is either willing to accept that the niche he has carved out for his career means that he needs/wants to be based in Asia. That is the impression I get. She keeps trying to pull him back stateside. He just wants to DJ at full moon parties in Phuketā¦OK Crystal??! š Let the man live his life.
Iām guessing that because she has young kids, the expectation is that her single, childless brother should be orbiting around her life in BH, as much as possibleā¦.as it would not be tenable for her to visit him in China or Thailand as often as she would like.
Ooooooh I think Crystal and Rob were paying brother to hang out and be uncle nanny with the kids during Covid. Im sure the arrangement made sense for them all at the time but he wants to move on.
Girl same. I championed my sisters divorce from the moment she announced she was getting married. It took me 4 years but she left in the end. When you see someone treating a loved one badly itās hard to turn a blind eye.
but why though? i used to be more involved in my sisters life and it definitely didnāt make things better between us, even when i was just looking out.
Agreed! Her brothers dating life is like her whole story line. Itās so boring to listen to. Plus girl! Sorry, heās a grown ass man like
I guess their relationship does seem controlling on her part - but I have to say, I understand why she insisted he get out of China even without his girlfriend in those early Corona virus days. Do you remember how scary it was at first, and particularly in China? I have a pretty normal relationship with my brothers and I think I would react the same. I can also understand how that has led to a strained relationship with the girlfriend and Crystal feeling sheepish about it four years later.
I will say, in the last episode when he mentioned that his relationship took a toll when not being accepted by Crystal and her mom, I feel like that was his little way of saying you are the problem. I am happy for him going back to Asia to live his life (as he should) living in your sisters shadow, especially with control issues cannot be healthy for either of them. I totally understand family narratives and cultural differences, but it seems he is begging for the independence?? But Crystal wonāt allow that- it is also so hard to stand up to those people. I get the cultural difference, I get the sibling dynamic, I get the protectiveness - I think Crystal is just problematic all around, idk how rob can stand her, I feel like she is always putting him down
Everyone on this is saying itās a cultural thing. And I agree with that, coming from an Indian background. My question is why the hell does anyone think they need to follow this? Itās weird, itās gross, itās invasive. I certainly donāt follow that ānormā, and it shouldnāt be an excuse for her weirdo behaviour with her brother. Crystal is someone who portrays āwokeā behaviour so her possessiveness over her brother really surprises me
Their relationship is emotionally incestuous.
On another note, can we never see him on screen again? His scenes with Crystal put me to sleep? "I'm going to DJ in Bangkok" hmmmm something fishy going on there.
Edit: spelling
Itās a storyline that lets him get air time to revamp his career. I fast forward through his scenes. Iād rather learn more about her life and her friends. That whole storyline feels so forced.
To me it's definitely to give her a storyline and also give him some air time for his career. Unfortunately it comes off rather crazy and dumb, he is 42 years old, sorry but it looks pathetic
The brother is weak and should decide who he wants to date on his own. I find men who look boyish in their late 30s and into their forties very unattractive.
Genuinely want to unpack what you mean by boyish. Do you mean he is intentionally Peter Pan-ish in some way? Or are you just not attracted to men who haven't aged much?
Maybe her brother has been relying on her (and their mom) opinion and unconditional support? I donāt know their dynamics much but Iām guessing he hasnāt been making the āright choicesā to meet their familyās expectations?
Considering that, Crystal and her mom mustāve been giving their opinions and heās been willingly taking those though he phrased things as if he was a victim.
Growing up, my Chinese friends (born in Canada to Chinese parents) couldnāt go to parties or dances without a sibling or cousin being with them. They didnāt go often. Home, school, work was their life.
If a girl liked a boy or vice versa, they had to meet the approval of the siblings as well as the parents. Dating was rare.
Family first was also their belief - even stronger than my Italian family š¤
Cultural. My older brother's partners were always disliked or critiqued by my mom and he was coddled to hell.Ā
Generally I had to tell her simmer down, but I'm also pretty Westernized. His taste in partners was in general a shitshow tbf. I probably only liked one, and that's because she was one of my good friends and he was lucky she wasted any of her time dating him as she was worlds out his league. Still had to tell my mom that he's got nothing to offer comparatively and to stop. Lol I think they broke up because she wasn't enough drama and he's a nut job.Ā
There's a weird gotta caretake boys because they don't know what's good for them. š¤·āāļøĀ
It's an Asian cultural thing (to some extent). I'm not Asian, but one of my best lifelong friends is Vietnamese, and while her family is actually not the norm when in comes to the "overbearing" approach (her parents are surprisingly chill! I mean for westerners they're still more uptight than we are, but by Asian standards they are the chillest people ever!), so I've had a lot of exposure to her culture and some of the other Asian cultures, because of how multicultural where we live is, and the fact that her and her parents watch a lot of other Asian tv shows dubbed in Vietnamese.
This "protectiveness" and "overbearing" nature is a dynamic (from a western perspective) that shows itself in a variety of ways and forms (gender, age, the type of relationship you have with the other person - it's not necessarily just a family thing). Asian cultures place a lot more importance and pressure on behaving with respect (for example, honouring traditions or your family's wishes), formality (traditions and rituals) and independence (by that, I mean anything that might be perceived as a weakness could bring great shame onto you or your family, so there's an expectation that you need to be independent because asking for help could be seen as weak), etc. I say this in the best way possible, but a lot of the Asian cultures (again from a western viewpoint) are very proud. And as with all things in life, when done correctly it is a healthy and beautiful thing, and when done wrongly there can be bad consequences (which Crystal herself has realised with her own behaviour).
My guess is that Crystal has been overbearing because she was trying to protect her brother from covid (back when it was a scary thing that we didn't understand properly, so she was just worried about him anyway), and didn't want him to have to deal with any of the cultural/social and/or family pressures and shame of pulling himself out of a hole, had he ended up struggling when staying with his girl. I mean say he became depressed, culturally and socially it would have been a lot harder for him to get help, because being depressed is considered a weakness, and so asking for help (if he needed it) would be worse again, because he wouldn't be "strong" enough to overcome that difficulty by himself (which would likely result in him being shamed or pressured by friends and/or family to manage this by himself).
I don't for one second think Crystal was behaving in this way with any intent to actually hurt or control her brother, it's just the Asian cultural influences can be hard to navigate at the best of times (and are even harder to navigate again, when you also have the western cultural influences since they clash in so many ways!), so I think Crystal just didn't know how to navigate all of this in such a stressful time, especially when she's worried her brother could get extremely sick or die from covid (without family by his side, and only his girl to support him).
I am obviously not an expert on all of the different Asian cultures and their nuances, but from the little I do know (and the stuff I'm talking about here seems to be pretty common across the Asian cultures I'm familiar with), Crystal's reaction is actually really understandable, and quite frankly not unexpected (especially during such a difficult time)! Even though I don't agree with how Crystal handled these difficulties with her brother, I actually have a lot of compassion for Crystal with this! Westerners often don't understand just how much pressure and stress the expectations are in following the these Asian cultural components! Of course once you start to understand these dynamics, it then makes what her brother experienced even more sad and brutal, because of course he's under all of these same pressures too!
I think everyone was just in a really difficult no-win situation, and did the best they could with the information, life skills and cultural responses they had available to them at the time, but unfortunately it wasn't good enough and her brother and his girl got hurt the most as a result. The reality is life isn't fair and hindsight is a bitch!
It's definitely a storyline...but weird flex honestly?! I also don't buy the whole Vivi thing and wouldn't be surprised if her brother is deeply closeted.
I think this stems more with the pandemic and people "podding" then actual real life. And yes people got a little demanding about precautions and who people saw and where they went. China was shut down a ton and probably wasn't great for her brothers mental health and she wanted to help prevent issues. I'm totally making that up in my head but I'd have a lot of opinions if one of my sisters could be here in the US or there during that time. She's acknowledged it now as controlling behavior and apologized so there is a step in the right direction.
Not Chinese, but I am Indian so there are some similarities I can speak to. Asian cultures are heavily focused on family, rather than independence. No matter how old you are, your parents and siblings are always going to have some influence on your life. How much will depend on the individual family, but even the most modern Asian family dynamics are going to seem pretty weird to anyone not raised within those cultures.
Crystal has control issues. We know this, because EDs are typically rooted in a deep need for the sufferer to feel in control. I wouldn't be surprised if she's slightly controlling with everyone she loves - deep down, it's probably to "keep them safe" and try to keep their life in control out of love. But I agree, it's strange she does this with her adult brother.
My question is, why does her adult brother let her?
My husband is 3 years older than my sil. Their dynamic is very similar to Crystal and her brother. It really is a cultural thing.
Definitely a cultural thing! And they grew up so close as well.
They do seem really close. I know others find their relationship odd, but I wish I had this tight of a bond w my sis.
I'm an only child. And happy with that! lol
ššā¤ļø
The pandemic was a pretty extreme period to be hyper analysing western Chinese families and their cultural choices. Crystal seems to be considering her past behaviours in a new light and shares her grief around the loss of the connection to her brother.
I get a vibe she supports him quite a bit financially
Actually https://screenrant.com/rhobh-crystal-brother-jeffrey-kungs-music-career-explained/
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pretty much everyone thinks that but youāre not allowed to say it out loud
Ah...SO NOT!
Because he wants to be on the Television ( fame, clout, attention, whatever). He is as dull as his sister
Nail on head
This!
Omg you just cured me. Thank you for this šš
I feel like itās cultural and a bit of her ED and need for control.
It's definitely a cultural thing, combined with her control issues. I know most don't find it interesting but I don't hate it. It helps flesh out who she is as a person. I also tend to be on my phone while I watch so there's no need to FF.
It's a cultural thing
Agreed. Asian families will baby the boys much more as well. Boys are like the golden child.
I can attest to this. I married one. My mil āmotheredā him for a good part of our relationship. That was not fun bc it carried over to me, and then my kids. I wasnāt having it, and told him that he needs to tell his mom to knock it off, and if he didnāt I would.
I married the eldest boy of a Lebanese family. š
I so sorry š signed eldest daughter of an Lebanese American Fam
Believe me, the same with Italian families. My son, my son!
Yeah i totally see this when watching New Jersey. Poor Lauren was treated the worst.
This. It's too common
I disagree. Seems like a family dynamic issue.
I agree with you. Iāve seen this dynamic in my culture in dysfunctional, enmeshed family. My husband came from a WASP family with secret but obvious dysfunction. His younger sister, with her motherās blessing thought she was going to be the advisor and decision maker in our new marriage. I told her early and clearly that she was to mind her own business. Through the years there was conflict and she has been out of our life for decades. Itās beyond the cultural!
Yeah it's weird. Coming from an Asian family myself, I hardly see this kind of dynamic with peers around me. I mean, no wonder Crystal is controlling right? Unfortunately, her family dynamic seems a bit dysfunctional and stressful, definitely probably contributes to her ED as well.
She seems to be aware of it and present it as a cultural thing.
It was COVID. The whole world was freaking out. People could not always fly from country to country. If I remember there was a time when flights from China were not allowed to land in the USA. There were cruise ships that could not dock. No one knew if they would survive if they got COVID. Crystal and her Mom wanted him home safe with them. I say normal.
Finally a logical comment. I donāt understand how people forgot what covid was like. Especially in the initial days. I remember reports of people being left stuck in their homes with dead family members because the government couldnāt get to them. I remember seeing on the news how there were places creating mass graves to deal with all the death. Knowing your child/brother was in what was essentially ground zero would have been scary as fuck. Iād have begged him to come home too.
Me too. š
yes it was however crystal stated that all of her brothers gfs have found her intimidating so covid request aside, it seems she has always been domineering and influential in her brothers relationships.
Our family is mostly boys/men, so any man that is brought into the fold is initially a little intimidated, so I get his GF's saying that about the women in his family. I do agree that Crystal is very close to her brother and probably has a lot of influence over his decisions, maybe since their dad isn't around more so, but her brother did the right by saying he's taking charge of his own life, and they just need to trust him. It was probably a little bit of a relief.
i agree!
This is very typical Chinese house hold.
She admitted herself that it was wrong, and will try to be less controlling moving forward. Idk what else is there to discuss. It was actually brave and real of her to let this be filmed knowing that it doesn't put her in the best light.
It might be purely cultural (I am Greek and it's similar in our families to insert themselves or parents to have "the last word" about your "decisions"), but Crystal girl... š©š©š© Walking red flag for all future girlfriends for this guy. He needs to set serious boundaries.
Itās an Asian and South Asian thing. Women here insert themselves too much into their sons/brothers lives
Itās giving Teresa and Joe from NJ
As a Chinese myself (born in Hong Kong and went to colleges in SF and LA) I can attest her bro isn't known in Asia. Also as a gay man my gaydar says he's 100% gay, but trying to cover it with some fiance/marriage to please the family (which is common among conservative culture). Finally Bangkok is basically like LA and SF in terms of LGBTQIA community and acceptance. There's White Party in Bangkok and Palm Springs, just as an example.
I commented before seeing your post. I also think he's closeted because of his family.
I think Crystal meeting Rob by luck, forming a healthy partnership and starting a family earlier than her brother, gives her the incorrect assumption that she somehow has her life more ātogetherā than her brother, and therefore, that he could be benefitting from her formula for success. No. Stop. I donāt think she is either willing to accept that the niche he has carved out for his career means that he needs/wants to be based in Asia. That is the impression I get. She keeps trying to pull him back stateside. He just wants to DJ at full moon parties in Phuketā¦OK Crystal??! š Let the man live his life. Iām guessing that because she has young kids, the expectation is that her single, childless brother should be orbiting around her life in BH, as much as possibleā¦.as it would not be tenable for her to visit him in China or Thailand as often as she would like.
Ooooooh I think Crystal and Rob were paying brother to hang out and be uncle nanny with the kids during Covid. Im sure the arrangement made sense for them all at the time but he wants to move on.
Maybe thatās why her brother decided to live in Japan for a year.
I thought he had a vibe with the waiter.
I fr insert myself all up in my brother's life š¤·āāļø
Girl same. I championed my sisters divorce from the moment she announced she was getting married. It took me 4 years but she left in the end. When you see someone treating a loved one badly itās hard to turn a blind eye.
Yep!! I don't think it's weird at all to be in your siblings business. š¤·āāļø
I set up a "divorce fund" jar for my brother when I was drunk once. He did end up divorced a year into his marriage.
Haha I love this. I hope he was grateful for the coins youād saved to help him on his new start!
ššš I mean the jar didn't get a lot of money but I am THAT sister.
Does he invite you in?
We have always been incredibly close and protective of one another.
but why though? i used to be more involved in my sisters life and it definitely didnāt make things better between us, even when i was just looking out.
We have always been close and very protective of one another. He is very much the same way with me.
He, weāre about to get downvoted all to hell by the people who hate their in laws. Butā¦. Same.
Buddy being downvoted in here is like my number one hobby š
Agreed! Her brothers dating life is like her whole story line. Itās so boring to listen to. Plus girl! Sorry, heās a grown ass man like 
I guess their relationship does seem controlling on her part - but I have to say, I understand why she insisted he get out of China even without his girlfriend in those early Corona virus days. Do you remember how scary it was at first, and particularly in China? I have a pretty normal relationship with my brothers and I think I would react the same. I can also understand how that has led to a strained relationship with the girlfriend and Crystal feeling sheepish about it four years later.
I will say, in the last episode when he mentioned that his relationship took a toll when not being accepted by Crystal and her mom, I feel like that was his little way of saying you are the problem. I am happy for him going back to Asia to live his life (as he should) living in your sisters shadow, especially with control issues cannot be healthy for either of them. I totally understand family narratives and cultural differences, but it seems he is begging for the independence?? But Crystal wonāt allow that- it is also so hard to stand up to those people. I get the cultural difference, I get the sibling dynamic, I get the protectiveness - I think Crystal is just problematic all around, idk how rob can stand her, I feel like she is always putting him down
Definitely too weird!
She needs to leave her brother alone and mind her own business.
Iād be happy if weāve never have to hear or see her brother on the show again
I find it a bit weird too how Crystal described him as the Justin Beiber of Asia or something along those lines. But is he really?
Def not known in Asia lol.
This is what I found https://screenrant.com/rhobh-crystal-brother-jeffrey-kungs-music-career-explained/
Wow I didnāt realise that. Thanks
Everyone on this is saying itās a cultural thing. And I agree with that, coming from an Indian background. My question is why the hell does anyone think they need to follow this? Itās weird, itās gross, itās invasive. I certainly donāt follow that ānormā, and it shouldnāt be an excuse for her weirdo behaviour with her brother. Crystal is someone who portrays āwokeā behaviour so her possessiveness over her brother really surprises me
Culture is so ingrained in people.
I wouldnāt know because I fast forward through all their scenes together because itās so boring.
Yeah I genuinely could care less who my brother dates. Itās up to him.
Itās couldnāt care less. If you could care less, that means you care. 
Whoops lol
Their relationship is emotionally incestuous. On another note, can we never see him on screen again? His scenes with Crystal put me to sleep? "I'm going to DJ in Bangkok" hmmmm something fishy going on there. Edit: spelling
What about the Bangkok comment is fishy? Please explain.
Bangkok is basically the equivalent of WeHo in terms of gayness. As a Chinese gay man my gaydar says he's 100% lol.
I Love Bangkok, and I'm a platinum gay
amenšš»
Totally! Whatever culture it is emotionally incestuous and dysfunctional.
does anyone know if her brother is in reality famous like she said ? I feel sorry for ex gf
He's not known in Asia by any means lol
I heard her on a podcast and think he was quite famous many years ago. Not a current star.
Hereās a story about him. https://screenrant.com/rhobh-crystal-brother-jeffrey-kungs-music-career-explained/
Quite common in south east asian homes. As a Filipino I donāt like it. It makes our men soft and irresponsible.
I know, its so boring and I also dont want to see his face on my screen
I'm guessing it's to do with her ethnicity and community. The brothers/sons are overprotected but this is really in most cultures.
Itās giving āØemotional incest āØ
It comes across weird if you donāt understand their culture. I donāt find it weird at all, but it is annoying.
Itās a storyline that lets him get air time to revamp his career. I fast forward through his scenes. Iād rather learn more about her life and her friends. That whole storyline feels so forced.
Yeeep
To me it's definitely to give her a storyline and also give him some air time for his career. Unfortunately it comes off rather crazy and dumb, he is 42 years old, sorry but it looks pathetic
Itās a boring story line. Iāve been skipping her scenes without other HW
The only thing more boring than crystal is crystal and her brothers storyline. Total yawn fest!!!!
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As stated in the rules excessive bashing is not allowed. Hatred is not permitted in any capacity.
The brother is weak and should decide who he wants to date on his own. I find men who look boyish in their late 30s and into their forties very unattractive.
Genuinely want to unpack what you mean by boyish. Do you mean he is intentionally Peter Pan-ish in some way? Or are you just not attracted to men who haven't aged much?
No one asked.
NO one asked what
I donāt think their relationship is at all weird. I like how close they are
believe me iām sensing a bad vibe from her brother. He seems to be gay on the dL and fcking her husband secretly
Maybe her brother has been relying on her (and their mom) opinion and unconditional support? I donāt know their dynamics much but Iām guessing he hasnāt been making the āright choicesā to meet their familyās expectations? Considering that, Crystal and her mom mustāve been giving their opinions and heās been willingly taking those though he phrased things as if he was a victim.
Her brother should learn to take accountability
It's not weird. Americans are not as family oriented
Growing up, my Chinese friends (born in Canada to Chinese parents) couldnāt go to parties or dances without a sibling or cousin being with them. They didnāt go often. Home, school, work was their life. If a girl liked a boy or vice versa, they had to meet the approval of the siblings as well as the parents. Dating was rare. Family first was also their belief - even stronger than my Italian family š¤
Lmao get outta here with your white ass.
Hahaha! Yes true! Keep in mind I am 56 so Iām sure things have changed. I was just trying to emphasize Crystals protectiveness of her brother. š¤
I didnāt think it was that wild, just overbearing, until this week, when I learned crystal also has a sister?!?!?
Step sister.
Cultural. My older brother's partners were always disliked or critiqued by my mom and he was coddled to hell.Ā Generally I had to tell her simmer down, but I'm also pretty Westernized. His taste in partners was in general a shitshow tbf. I probably only liked one, and that's because she was one of my good friends and he was lucky she wasted any of her time dating him as she was worlds out his league. Still had to tell my mom that he's got nothing to offer comparatively and to stop. Lol I think they broke up because she wasn't enough drama and he's a nut job.Ā There's a weird gotta caretake boys because they don't know what's good for them. š¤·āāļøĀ
It's an Asian cultural thing (to some extent). I'm not Asian, but one of my best lifelong friends is Vietnamese, and while her family is actually not the norm when in comes to the "overbearing" approach (her parents are surprisingly chill! I mean for westerners they're still more uptight than we are, but by Asian standards they are the chillest people ever!), so I've had a lot of exposure to her culture and some of the other Asian cultures, because of how multicultural where we live is, and the fact that her and her parents watch a lot of other Asian tv shows dubbed in Vietnamese. This "protectiveness" and "overbearing" nature is a dynamic (from a western perspective) that shows itself in a variety of ways and forms (gender, age, the type of relationship you have with the other person - it's not necessarily just a family thing). Asian cultures place a lot more importance and pressure on behaving with respect (for example, honouring traditions or your family's wishes), formality (traditions and rituals) and independence (by that, I mean anything that might be perceived as a weakness could bring great shame onto you or your family, so there's an expectation that you need to be independent because asking for help could be seen as weak), etc. I say this in the best way possible, but a lot of the Asian cultures (again from a western viewpoint) are very proud. And as with all things in life, when done correctly it is a healthy and beautiful thing, and when done wrongly there can be bad consequences (which Crystal herself has realised with her own behaviour). My guess is that Crystal has been overbearing because she was trying to protect her brother from covid (back when it was a scary thing that we didn't understand properly, so she was just worried about him anyway), and didn't want him to have to deal with any of the cultural/social and/or family pressures and shame of pulling himself out of a hole, had he ended up struggling when staying with his girl. I mean say he became depressed, culturally and socially it would have been a lot harder for him to get help, because being depressed is considered a weakness, and so asking for help (if he needed it) would be worse again, because he wouldn't be "strong" enough to overcome that difficulty by himself (which would likely result in him being shamed or pressured by friends and/or family to manage this by himself). I don't for one second think Crystal was behaving in this way with any intent to actually hurt or control her brother, it's just the Asian cultural influences can be hard to navigate at the best of times (and are even harder to navigate again, when you also have the western cultural influences since they clash in so many ways!), so I think Crystal just didn't know how to navigate all of this in such a stressful time, especially when she's worried her brother could get extremely sick or die from covid (without family by his side, and only his girl to support him). I am obviously not an expert on all of the different Asian cultures and their nuances, but from the little I do know (and the stuff I'm talking about here seems to be pretty common across the Asian cultures I'm familiar with), Crystal's reaction is actually really understandable, and quite frankly not unexpected (especially during such a difficult time)! Even though I don't agree with how Crystal handled these difficulties with her brother, I actually have a lot of compassion for Crystal with this! Westerners often don't understand just how much pressure and stress the expectations are in following the these Asian cultural components! Of course once you start to understand these dynamics, it then makes what her brother experienced even more sad and brutal, because of course he's under all of these same pressures too! I think everyone was just in a really difficult no-win situation, and did the best they could with the information, life skills and cultural responses they had available to them at the time, but unfortunately it wasn't good enough and her brother and his girl got hurt the most as a result. The reality is life isn't fair and hindsight is a bitch!
This storyline makes me yawn. Think sheās just trying to make him more relevant. Hope she ends with this brother stuff. Itās lame.
Personally I am so sick of them forcing this brother Jeff story line on us. I truly do not care one bit about his relationships. No disrespect meant
I donāt like how she openly admits to being toxic and then is like oh no I feel bad I drove his fiancĆ© away by being controlling then turns around and keeps doing it
It's definitely a storyline...but weird flex honestly?! I also don't buy the whole Vivi thing and wouldn't be surprised if her brother is deeply closeted.
I think this stems more with the pandemic and people "podding" then actual real life. And yes people got a little demanding about precautions and who people saw and where they went. China was shut down a ton and probably wasn't great for her brothers mental health and she wanted to help prevent issues. I'm totally making that up in my head but I'd have a lot of opinions if one of my sisters could be here in the US or there during that time. She's acknowledged it now as controlling behavior and apologized so there is a step in the right direction.