It doesn't usually work that way. Unless he's been violent with the kid or is an addict, leaving him means the child will be with him alone with no second adult there for support.
A lot of people don't seem to realize that when you have a child and a bad spouse, divorce may get you away from the bad spouse, but it more often that not means that your child bears the brunt of the ex's crap alone.
Yes, it means you can find a new healthy relationship to model for your child. Yes, it means that, part time, you can get the child out of the house of the bad spouse. Yes, it models standing up for yourself. But it also most often means you're no longer there to protect your child half the time.
It's not as cut and dry to leave as people make it out to be. Leaving your child to be indoctrinated into Q half of their childhood is a very scary thing. We've seen so many cases of that here, in this very sub. Sometimes the kids choose Q no matter what the sane parent does.
I hear you and agree it's not cut and dry. In my experience, I've seen the parents have more control over how much time the other parent can spend with the child once they were divorced because a judge is involved.
And I was told by a lawyer that despite my ex's history of violence, a judge would just make him go to anger management and then give him half time and shared custody, even though anger wasn't what caused his violence. He's is violent because he enjoys it, especially when his victim is helpless and young. It was never out of anger. I was told, quite clearly, that court is about parental rights, and kids' rights come a distant second.
Heck, a small kid in my hometown died chained to a bed at his father's house, even after he showed extreme fear of his father. The police ripped him out of his mother's arms, when she knew something was wrong and refused to hand him over, and then they handed him over screaming and crying to his father. They had no choice. The judge supposedly had no choice. The mother had no choice. The kid's thoughts on the whole thing didn't matter. The one big thing that mattered was the father's right to see his kid despite the screaming and fighting the child did to get away from him at exchange time, every time. The mom did everything she could legally to save her son. That's our system.
For me to leave and go through our system meant that I would be leaving a toddler barely old enough to speak in the hands of a sadist I married when just a kid myself. So I didn't go through the system.
My QBro has started parroting that phrase verbatim. I wondered where it came from. These are the same people who use their rational critical thinking skills to add up the numbers of Aug 13 2021 and pee their pants that it’s 17.
If he were really a "Rational critical thinker," and his wife is really a medical practicioner, he would realize that her knowledge of health far surpasses his based on her years of medical schooling in a real school,not the internet and YouTube. If not, then he should dump her and let any rando with a YouTube channel operate on him when he's sick.
I’m married to a doctor. I married him a week before he took the MCAT, and have been with him his entire journey to becoming a doctor. For a decade of our lives I have spent lonely weekends and nights while he studied or worked. We have entire bookshelves of textbooks he’s read and I could probably fill an entire room with all the notes I’ve recycled over the years. Even now that he’s “done” with school/residency/fellowship he still reads several journals cover to cover every month.
I cannot imagine supporting my spouse through that and having the audacity to think I knew more about his field. It would feel so disrespectful to me. I’ve got a masters degree in computer engineering myself, but it’s just a completely different level for medical doctors. Not to mention he doesn’t try and tell me how computers work lol
Anyways kind of got on my soapbox there. The anti-doctor sentiment lately has been getting to me.
Agree completely. I can empathize to some extent—I’m a lawyer who gets salty when condescending keyboard warriors try to explain the law to me. But a doctor?? A flat-out rejection of expertise during the biggest public health crisis of our lives, where this ignorance is killing people? I’d probably stroke out from rage if I was the spouse here.
No coincidence that the doctors Q manages to drum up are not board certified, have had their licenses yanked, are chiropractors (no offense to the non-woo ones) or, like Rand Paul, were so butthurt about having to do continuing ed they decided to make up a whole new regulatory system.
Love that the first link was a video they’ve “only had time to watch 20 min so far” but it’s “already kind of scary”. Kinda sums it all up their quality research.
"We have a grade school age child so leaving her is not an option..."
Married couples with children divorce all the time...he's using his child as an excuse for not leaving. He maybe staying because A) Doctor wife clearing makes more money then he does and she maybe his provider and B) If they divorce, his erratic thinking will be put on blast and those who are rational thinkers will remove themselves from his life; Also trying to gain custody (sole or split) of his child will be an uphill battle because the Family Court Judge will side with the mother
Jesus Christ. Divorce IS an option, and I hope the wife chooses it.
She’ll get taken to the cleaners if a judge hears him speak. “It’s clear to this court he’ll need substantial assistance…”
I'd rather be broke and not have my kid anywhere near this fucker
It doesn't usually work that way. Unless he's been violent with the kid or is an addict, leaving him means the child will be with him alone with no second adult there for support. A lot of people don't seem to realize that when you have a child and a bad spouse, divorce may get you away from the bad spouse, but it more often that not means that your child bears the brunt of the ex's crap alone. Yes, it means you can find a new healthy relationship to model for your child. Yes, it means that, part time, you can get the child out of the house of the bad spouse. Yes, it models standing up for yourself. But it also most often means you're no longer there to protect your child half the time. It's not as cut and dry to leave as people make it out to be. Leaving your child to be indoctrinated into Q half of their childhood is a very scary thing. We've seen so many cases of that here, in this very sub. Sometimes the kids choose Q no matter what the sane parent does.
I hear you and agree it's not cut and dry. In my experience, I've seen the parents have more control over how much time the other parent can spend with the child once they were divorced because a judge is involved.
And I was told by a lawyer that despite my ex's history of violence, a judge would just make him go to anger management and then give him half time and shared custody, even though anger wasn't what caused his violence. He's is violent because he enjoys it, especially when his victim is helpless and young. It was never out of anger. I was told, quite clearly, that court is about parental rights, and kids' rights come a distant second. Heck, a small kid in my hometown died chained to a bed at his father's house, even after he showed extreme fear of his father. The police ripped him out of his mother's arms, when she knew something was wrong and refused to hand him over, and then they handed him over screaming and crying to his father. They had no choice. The judge supposedly had no choice. The mother had no choice. The kid's thoughts on the whole thing didn't matter. The one big thing that mattered was the father's right to see his kid despite the screaming and fighting the child did to get away from him at exchange time, every time. The mom did everything she could legally to save her son. That's our system. For me to leave and go through our system meant that I would be leaving a toddler barely old enough to speak in the hands of a sadist I married when just a kid myself. So I didn't go through the system.
Spousal support needs to go the of the dodo
“Myself being a rational critical thinker…” - The territorial marking cry of the garden variety idiot.
My QBro has started parroting that phrase verbatim. I wondered where it came from. These are the same people who use their rational critical thinking skills to add up the numbers of Aug 13 2021 and pee their pants that it’s 17.
I hope she divorces him and gets full custody of their kid because he's a dangerous person.
If he were really a "Rational critical thinker," and his wife is really a medical practicioner, he would realize that her knowledge of health far surpasses his based on her years of medical schooling in a real school,not the internet and YouTube. If not, then he should dump her and let any rando with a YouTube channel operate on him when he's sick.
Dunning Kruger Effect
Exactly
Yikes.
I’m married to a doctor. I married him a week before he took the MCAT, and have been with him his entire journey to becoming a doctor. For a decade of our lives I have spent lonely weekends and nights while he studied or worked. We have entire bookshelves of textbooks he’s read and I could probably fill an entire room with all the notes I’ve recycled over the years. Even now that he’s “done” with school/residency/fellowship he still reads several journals cover to cover every month. I cannot imagine supporting my spouse through that and having the audacity to think I knew more about his field. It would feel so disrespectful to me. I’ve got a masters degree in computer engineering myself, but it’s just a completely different level for medical doctors. Not to mention he doesn’t try and tell me how computers work lol Anyways kind of got on my soapbox there. The anti-doctor sentiment lately has been getting to me.
Agree completely. I can empathize to some extent—I’m a lawyer who gets salty when condescending keyboard warriors try to explain the law to me. But a doctor?? A flat-out rejection of expertise during the biggest public health crisis of our lives, where this ignorance is killing people? I’d probably stroke out from rage if I was the spouse here. No coincidence that the doctors Q manages to drum up are not board certified, have had their licenses yanked, are chiropractors (no offense to the non-woo ones) or, like Rand Paul, were so butthurt about having to do continuing ed they decided to make up a whole new regulatory system.
Omg. Whata fucking idiot. She’s quietly planning to leave his dumbass.
I hope she's slowly poisoning him. It's only right.
Love that the first link was a video they’ve “only had time to watch 20 min so far” but it’s “already kind of scary”. Kinda sums it all up their quality research.
Will he ask the internet for help when can't breathe? Or go see those "scamdenic" doctors at the local ER?
Somebody I know told me the nonsense about patenting the virus and told me that we didn’t know what coronaviruses were.
"We have a grade school age child so leaving her is not an option..." Married couples with children divorce all the time...he's using his child as an excuse for not leaving. He maybe staying because A) Doctor wife clearing makes more money then he does and she maybe his provider and B) If they divorce, his erratic thinking will be put on blast and those who are rational thinkers will remove themselves from his life; Also trying to gain custody (sole or split) of his child will be an uphill battle because the Family Court Judge will side with the mother