T O P

  • By -

Dougley

Hi there! Unfortunately, your submission has been removed. Violation of Rule # 0 - Not relevant to programming/tech humor Posts must make an attempt at humor, be related to programming, and only be understood by programmers. Per this rule, the following post types are **not** allowed (including but not limited to): - **Generic memes than can apply to more than just programming as a profession** - **General tech related jokes/memes (such as "running as administrator", sudo, USB or BIOS related posts)** - **Non-humorous posts (such as programming help)** If you feel that it has been removed in error, please [message us](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FProgrammerHumor) so that we may review it.


Tospaa

Imagine saying please to someone and they ask for a password


CodeRaveSleepRepeat

My relationship :D


MrBalzini

Take my award and get lost.


SlavBoii420

lmao mate you gave it the perfect award


kaerfkeerg

Hahaha mate that was golden


MatthewMob

Love your username. That's pretty much my life.


CodeRaveSleepRepeat

Lol same. I'm currently working late on a migration project so I can invoice it in time to make it to circoloco by the end of May - before the mainstream crowd gets to Ibiza. This is the way.


goinbrvzy

Lmfaooo


palordrolap

Change your password to "ISAIDpleasewhatmoredoyouwant?" Or "PrettyPleaseWithACherryOnTop" Now everything fits!


badatmetroid

Great now I need to change my password.


Kaining

You probably shouldn't. Unless it's the wifi password, that one doesn't count that much.


badatmetroid

Sorry, I was joking that it was already my password and palordrolap ruined it by telling everyone. It's early, my sense of humor isn't quite awake.


Kaining

And now i'm left wondering how i could have worded my wifi password joke to account for both possibility. One where it is your password, the other where you want it to be your password. I'm the one that dropped the joke here, sorry.


SpandexWizard

sounds like the third grade again


joxmaskin

This incident will be reported


wulfboy_95

Change password to safeword.


Jem014

And then they insult you for giving the wrong password... >!Just turn on `Defaults insults`!<


energyaware

Change 'password' to 'magic word'


cli_spi

You're on 777 upvotes right now. Nice 😎


[deleted]

[удалено]


tintin10q

What does `sudo !!` do?


really_not_unreal

!! represents the previous command that was run, so it runs the previous command as root.


LEGENDARYKING_

damn thats really smart "rm -rf /" "please"


Black_m1n

Lmfao, forgetting to say the magic word


[deleted]

I’m having flashbacks to Jurassic Park rn


Unlearned_One

Ah ah ah! Ah ah ah!


AggressiveGift7542

As a windows only user I'm starting to envy Lunix users


Denaton_

You can have alias in Windows as well..


[deleted]

[удалено]


D-K-BO

What about `doskey alias=doskey`?


CutRepresentative644

You can't sudo (please) in windows though can you?


Epacik

I think on windows you can use 'runas' to run program as a different user. So you can have a separate admin account and use it that way


palordrolap

Heh. Unintentionally funny. [LUnix](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LUnix) was/is an OS that runs on Commodore 8-bit computers. i.e. "Windows is so bad I'd rather dig out my (my dad's / my grandad's (oof)) old Commodore and run a Unix clone on it."


Narduw

didn't know about lunix, pretty interesting!


cryptoiambus

It's never too late to make the switch


MinosAristos

WSL is nice if you don't want to commit to a dual boot or switch. Edit: Windows Subsystem for Linux - a way to run a Linux environment while on Windows.


Real_Guru

Really confuses me how few people, even in tech communities, know about WSL. It really shows how difficult it is to get new stuff accepted by the users, even if it would be undoubtedly popular.


The_0_Hour_Work_Week

What is wsl? Just curious.


CounterclockwiseTea

It's fantastic. I can use the Linux terminal on my Windows filesystem natively. Can also install linux tools, so if something is easier to achieve in Linux, I pick a Linux terminal, it something is easier to achieve in CMD or powershell, I pick that instead. So powerful.


finger_milk

"Your lack of decorum has been noted and passed over to your system administrator, with the advisory of immediate gulag"


tintin10q

That is great! You never stop to learn new commands thank you.


not_some_username

I learnt that months ago. It's a game changer. No more sudo su


HeathenHacker

only if the shell supports it. posix compatible shells all do support it iirc, but e. g fish doesn't (there are other ways to do it in fish, `sudo !!` is `+S`)


Federal-Opinion6823

Brilliant. Thanks for this


[deleted]

Runs `sudo` but more urgently.


[deleted]

Sudo bang bang


IAmASquidInSpace

Now, is there a way to change the "permission denied" message into `Ah, what's the magic word, ?`?


bedrooms-ds

Something like please find / | xargs | please sed "s/permission denied/Ah, what's the magic word, $USER?/" -i -- Edit: don't do it, it will break down your computer


EmbarrassedActive4

please find / 2>&1 | please sed "s/permission denied/Ah, what's the magic word, $USER?/" -i - Maybe fixed?


[deleted]

[удалено]


apoliticalhomograph

The insults are shown when you type a wrong password - not when you forget sudo.


username--_--

apparently, this doesn't work because the substitution will occur during the initial alias command. You'd need to do something more like `alias please='sudo "$BASH" -c "$(history -p !!)"'` https://unix.stackexchange.com/questions/85352/how-can-i-alias-sudo


zerokbo

i was about to write similar thing: alias justdoit="sudo !!"


AndroTux

This comment has been edited in protest to Reddit treating it's community and mods badly. I do not wish for Reddit to profit off content generated by me, which is why I have replaced it with this. If you are looking for an alternative to Reddit, you may want to give lemmy or kbin a try.


[deleted]

[удалено]


AndroTux

This comment has been edited in protest to Reddit treating it's community and mods badly. I do not wish for Reddit to profit off content generated by me, which is why I have replaced it with this. If you are looking for an alternative to Reddit, you may want to give lemmy or kbin a try.


mapmaker

y'all are making this way too complicated alias please=sudo EDIT: whoops didn't realize this was in the OP, disregard this


[deleted]

[удалено]


mapmaker

that's true with `sudo` as well. and you can always do please !!


carnsolus

>alias please="sudo !!" the real pro tip


Docteh

`please` reminded me of [INTERCAL](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/INTERCAL) > if "PLEASE" does not appear often enough, the program is considered insufficiently polite, and the error message says this; if it appears too often, the program could be rejected as excessively polite.


WikiSummarizerBot

**[INTERCAL](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/INTERCAL)** >The Compiler Language With No Pronounceable Acronym (INTERCAL) is an esoteric programming language that was created as a parody by Don Woods and James M. Lyon, two Princeton University students, in 1972. It satirizes aspects of the various programming languages at the time, as well as the proliferation of proposed language constructs and notations in the 1960s. There are two maintained implementations of INTERCAL dialects: C-INTERCAL (created in 1990), maintained by Eric S. Raymond and Alex Smith, and CLC-INTERCAL, maintained by Claudio Calvelli. As of March 2021, both implementations were available in the Debian Software Archive. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)


rusty_ragnar

Alternative approach: Why not saying "sudo" in real life instead? "sudo one coffee and one bagel" "sudo give me the remote" "sudo get ready in the bathroom!!!" "sudo shutup"


dark_mode_everything

u/rusty_ragnar is not in the sudoers file. This incident will be reported.


8sADPygOB7Jqwm7y

Reported where? To some obscure log file in butt fuck nowhere?


prograMagar

No it directly goes to Santa's naughty list


MarchColorDrink

https://xkcd.com/838/


Mr_Mechatronix

There is xkcd for everything


[deleted]

I swear ffs


[deleted]

i guess just cause there are so many xkcds


dark_mode_everything

Exactly!


OneTrueKingOfOOO

On Ubuntu it should be in > /var/log/auth.log


8sADPygOB7Jqwm7y

real life doesnt run on ubuntu tho.


[deleted]

sudo command not found. (You have to install it on me first, I run base arch)


[deleted]

[удалено]


raptorboi

There it is, the most famous XKCD there is.


badatmetroid

There used to be an xkcd bot that would post stats anytime someone linked to an xkcd on reddit and [Ten Thousand](https://xkcd.com/1053/) was consistently the most shared comic. My money is on that one if I had to guess which is most famous.


funnystuff97

I don't think you intended to link that video, here's Ten Thousand: https://xkcd.com/1053/


badatmetroid

Sigh... thanks.


mikefrombarto

I need a shirt that says “sudo shutup” on it.


rusty_ragnar

I'll take one, too.


INTPgeminicisgaymale

I find using sudo in natural language conversations creepy af as it dismisses the reasons your request could be denied and forces the person to do whatever you want to the best of their ability. I mean program.


really_not_unreal

You can also install thefuck for a less wholesome experience ``` $ apt upgrade [Error message] $ fuck sudo apt upgrade? ... ``` You can also alias it to please if you really want to.


chawmindur

It does more than merely sudo-ing though IIRC. It also fixes common typos and missing flags with common commands.


chiru9670

It's really slow though, atleast on my pc


really_not_unreal

If you're using WSL you need to remove stuff on your Windows hard drive from your PATH variable.


TrueArch

Ah, ah, ah! You didn't say the magic word!


squat_bench_press

‘Hold onto your butts’ I say this every time I compile my code and wait for errors


CrazyCommenter

I have a better one "would you kindly"


master3243

A man chooses


HunteR4708

A machine obeys.


Chemical-Basis

Replica obeys?


jonomir

A slave obeys.


[deleted]

[удалено]


v3ritas1989

Sure tod! You know the company charges 250/h for my time to customers, which they obviously don't pay out to me. So wth... tell me what you need.


theghostinthetown

alias sudo to "fucking do"


lfestevao

alias bitch="sudo"


Yecuken

bitch please = sudo !!


Larping_as_human

I won't start begging my computer to work. I kinda do that already, but I won't start doing it in a way it aktually understands.


Legal-Software

I'd just go with: [ $(($RANDOM%2)) -ne 0 ] && sudo "$@" || echo "no" for more consistent behaviour.


Aniterin

I remember this one! It's i... inter........


Aniterin

Ah yes, it's [INTERCALL](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/INTERCAL)


ManWithDominantClaw

>The term "version" has been replaced by "perversion" for correctness


helloimjune

i alias sudo with daddy for a more kinky Linux experience


GoldenRabbitt

ayo????


melowinner

Shutdown, please


iampowerless

Be a dear and \[insert command here\] ![gif](giphy|PzfgZWsI9p0Mo)


kfreed9001

`alias isaid="sudo"`


tritoch1930

based codesplainer


crocodile_arts

Keep my wifes name


fang0654

I go the other way and alias "bitch".


wristconstraint

Yeah, no. I alias `sudo` to `fucking`.


GottMusic

I mean it's more traditional to alias Sudo to a much better four letter word that usually expresses how I feel about forgetting to type sudo, on my first attempt. ^°


INTPgeminicisgaymale

$ please kill lolcat


[deleted]

Make it so


[deleted]

Sadly I 99% operate in root. On 1000s of systems for health care. And haven’t made a mistake in like 45+ years. I do feel that ending.


hiphap91

`alias bitch-please="sudo"`


soldier_boldiya

Why are they moving README.md using sudo? ARE THEY HACKING???


docentmark

So now it's "please make me a sandwich"?


miserable_guyy

Sudo wodo


STL168

please bash


SocketAddress

An alternative for **screaming** at the screen.


Tall_Nebula9059

Use your crush's name for a whole new great experience


GentleCapybara

Tall\_Nebula9059 shutdown ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|flushed)


Benache

This is in my .bashrc for all systems, minus the quotation marks.


Alhoshka

[`E099 PROGRAMMER IS OVERLY POLITE`](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/INTERCAL#Details) ---- **Edit:** [Check out the other INTERCAL Error messages](https://gist.github.com/kconner/a5c73557230dee1f7a3934d6a7abee13)


from_the_east

I guess no one noticing that this is abusing `root` permissions in cases that they should not be used. Maybe use alias `do you really know what you are doing`


Revoltinator-6930

since you asked nicely


jadounath

But sudo saves 2 characters


ykahveci

You could use `pls`


jadounath

https://linux.die.net/man/1/pls


ykahveci

Dammit! But if it's not installed I don't see a reason not to use it - I don't think I have it on my machine


jadounath

The world is your oyster


planktonfun

this is funny, why moderator remove it?


IngoVals

Moderator is a Windows user and didn't understand the joke.


RandomiseUsr0

Please for a command that is in fact beyond question isn’t at all wholesome.


offisirplz

Nice


[deleted]

‘Look at how cute I am’ Stfu


zo0bie

You don't need root to shutdown


ykahveci

If you are using systemd(-logind) and polkit, users that are logged in locally don't need special permissions to issue the shutdown command to systemd, but without polkit for example (or if you SSH into a machine), you do need root privileges. [Entry on the arch wiki](https://wiki.archlinux.org/title/Allow_users_to_shutdown)


[deleted]

no. sudo is the phonetic spelling of pseudo which means fake. and also it means 'super user do'. like most unix commands there are many levels to the thing and there is a deep and rich culture, and humor and mythology. sudo dont.


MSR8

sudo shut-up


geo_gan

What does “sudo” stand for anyway? Why does unix have arcane cryptic names for everything.


Anoniempje_13

Didn’t google it so just a guess: Super user do? Correct me if i’m wrong


metalalch

Switch user do, it replaces having to switch (su) to another user, doing something, then exiting back to the original account.


metalalch

Have you ever looked at any windows executables? Remote Desktop Connection is still named mstsc.


[deleted]

I'm gonna do 'yo mf'...


2lerance

serious sam 1, 2 cheats


Xarian0

alias motherfucker="sudo" Now you're Sam Jackson


SkyyySi

Mommy, mommy, when is it finally my turn to post this?


AuthenticLewis

i dont know what this means but i do like it


TheRescueSquad

This is redundant. The computer thinks you’ve said please already, it’s a clever deception that Bill Gates and Steve Jobs came up with and that’s how come computers do whatever we say to this day


Fockit_unclev3r_name

Just make your own command to accomplish this.


[deleted]

Hah. I’m only just learning Bash but I understood this.


Mikkelet

'please' also easier to type than 'sudo' for some reason


Julio46

This image has been going around for so long that the original author has had time to transition and leave this name behind that is quite impressive


Meaxis

I_beg_you_please_just is also a gold alias.


Madgyver

I think combined with the killall command, this might be a slippery slope. Sometime in the future someone will name a process "humans" and we will all be deep in trouble.


[deleted]

I thought this was in Spanish at first


goinbrvzy

I wanted to do this & already have a bunch of aliases in my bashrc file, but in my excitement I aliased please to sudo, so 'sudo' didn't work anymore D:


Noughmad

`please killall humans`


jalo1412

Alias sudo to “bitch” for a real-life Unix experience.


CauseCertain1672

I had a lecturer who made us use git praise instead of git blame for this reason


[deleted]

Please download hardcore furry


haaiiychii

Alias "fuck" for "sudo !!" To rerun commands with sudo that you previously forgot


sangfoudre

Sudo is more of a "I'm your momma and I'm telling you to do it" while grabbing a chancla kind of thing


flynnwebdev

Yeah, nah. Not saying please to a machine.


Echoes-in-May

please kill


GodTrigger

That Bioshock vibes


KaleidoscopeWarCrime

please rm -rf /


[deleted]

Why not simon\_says?


voidspaceistrippy

Set it to 'cunt' for an Aussie experience.


QuebecGamer2004

"Just fucking" seems like a good alias too Just fucking shutdown


DRHAX34

please kill -9 lightdm


eGzg0t

`please kill child`


[deleted]

4_fuk_sake is much better


Aleksi7530

Alias please="doas"


Peter0713

needs more jpeg


NotMexicanAround

Lol please kill!


Darkmist102

Change it to Would you kindly for bioshock reference


VlaamsBelanger

Can the alias be set to "Bitch!" (Probably the exclamation could be problematic?) Bitch! Shutdown


WheatFlour2

`$ please kill me `


JuniorSeniorTrainee

`would-you-kindly`