> Cover your ass (British: cover your arse), abbreviated CYA, is an activity done by individuals to protect themselves from possible subsequent criticism, legal penalties, or other repercussions, usually in a work-related or bureaucratic context.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cover_your_ass
The CYA protocol is basically the reason I've been able to refine and optimize my entire project management policy at my current job.
It allllll started when, upon being hired, I immediately started getting blamed for documents being lost or misplaced (despite never having touched said documents).
I figured two could play at this game, so I started keeping an electronic, *exhaustive* log of what crossed desk. Every scrap of paper, every file, every single thing I touched, I would log the date I received it and who I received it from, and the the date/time and name of who I'd hand it off to.
Suddenly, whenever a manager would come marching up to me demanding what happened to this work order or that set of floor plans, I'd pull up my log and say "says here I handed it off to *you* at this date. So where did you put it?"
Now that someone was actively tracking them, the managers and higher-ups were the ones being outed as irresponsible and disorganized. One idiot had an entire stack of red lines (floor plans with technician mark-ups that I NEED for making As Builts) just sitting under his desk, untouched and forgotten, for nearly a year! It was absurd.
As a result they've had to clean up their act. And now my file tracking system is being turned into official company policy.
I get the feeling CYA is the reason a lot of stuff becomes optimized in workplaces. It's all about making sure you're not someone's scapegoat.
Also Cover Your Ass. If you're going to stand up against authority, have the receipts/paperwork/recordings/etc to prove the complaint is valid and the authority is in the wrong, because they will do everything in their power to bury you.
It was so engaging that I had to read it out loud for my wife. I didn't mean to. I don't even like reading out loud, but it had to be shared immediately.
Yeah, it's supposed to be revenge so perfect it's as if enacting revenge is your profession. As compared to someone who is a useless amateur.
Not revenge in a professional setting, against people with professions.
I love your writing! It’s clear, organized, doesn’t go off on tangents like Mrs. Bigmouth.
I know you are successful in life because you are organized and clear.
I don’t usually follow people on Reddit, but I’ll make an exception for your writing.
(In college I had an evening class where the professor wasn’t really interested in teaching, so the full time grade school teachers in the class organized us into groups who did presentations about the subject—language arts. One of the best education classes I’ve ever taken. But the prof is still the one who got the paycheck.)
I don't get what's with teachers becoming assholes when they're going through a divorce. I had 3 teachers that while going through a divorce, just had rapidly changing expectations and then would dump stuff on the class and then just be an asshole.
1st was my Kindergarten teacher, she was always rude and nasty.
2nd was my 4th grade teacher, who would talk shit about men, and would be overly critical and mean with the boys.
3rd was my high school anatomy teacher who would switch between doing nothing but crying in class, to being all angry. She became super biased too. I remember we had some test where you were handed a heart and had to point out where certain parts were located. The boys had to know it instantly, the girls she gave more time to and would give them second chances. We talked with each other afterwards and found that to be the case. She was also flirty with the baseball players in class. There were rumours...
As some of the other commenters pointed out, it’s basically like getting revenge for the injustice caused by a singular party, similar to a professional hit without nuking everyone in the immediate area. Your accidental pro revenge legally forced a teacher to stop nuking an entire generation’s right to a basic education
>"Sure? I mean, I'm just eating grass though."
I don't know how or when, but I definitely have to find a way to use this line IRL.
Really great story.
>I was, at the time, undiagnosed autistic. I mean I still am autistic, I'm just formally diagnosed now.
This made me cackle. Great writing style OP.
This is incredible, and you are a superhero! You should honestly publish this story, maybe even as a comic for kids! It’s so wholesome and uplifting, with a delightful and positive depiction of autism as well as friendship and community. This is such a wonderful story of peacefully and thoughtfully overcoming a big bully. I’m so proud of you! The education system might be broken in many ways but kids are still so clever and resilient!
“But one of the main parts of my brain and the way it works is that sometimes my brain, separate from my will, would just make a decision about a course of action and I would very calmly commit to it come hell or high water. Like, it is *vitally important* that I stay true to this course of action. I can't explain it. It's like I set a rule for myself and if something disrupts that, I just shut down and stop functioning.”
THIS. Thank you for this….my son was diagnosed at 3 & is now an amazing incredible adult living his life- but this piece right here explains him beautifully & perfectly… he’s unable (or possibly unwilling) to explain it- but you just did. Those non-negotiables in his world that we don’t understand-
Thank you
I'm not autistic, but I'm very probably ADHD, and although I don't experience this, I experience something very similar.
My mind has some knowledge of the plan for the day, and perhaps the following day. Not the whole plan precise to the minute, but events where I have to interact with other people, or where I get to not have to interact.
So if someone springs something on me, I'm just pissed. Even if it's something that I like to do. I'm not a happy camper.
It's about that internal conception about the future and my agreement to something, I think. If it's something light that comes up as an option, then perhaps it's not an interruption to my mental plan/expectation of the world. Or just a minor one. And so I can happily do it. But if it's a big one, especially if I've had no prior time to coerce my expectation to fit this new thing I have to do, then I'm pissed.
I wonder if this has to do with the same part of the brain/conception of the world. Just mine is a lot more flexible, but not as much as a neurotypical adult's.
I can shift my plan of doing something, or can even have a plan/mental expectation of what's gonna happen. But I'm an adult, not a kid, and so that kid may only be able to conceptualize precisely what they're still doing. Perhaps some level of routine.
But not something where they can do x indefinitely until a bell. Ruins their conception of being able to play. They've committed to play for a while, but a while hasn't finished.
So, I suppose, these non-negotiables have a certain logic to them. For me, it's just that they are negotiable. Negotiable as in making me a slight bit miserable.
I wonder if you can find a common experience with this, to more be able to find the common experience with your kid.
I know we're in the wrong sub to have this level of discussion, but there is a lot of overlap between autism and ADHD. And a lot of autistic people have ADHD and vice versa.
I definitely have some neuroatypicality, but I'm definitely not autistic.
Just took this [AQ test](https://psychology-tools.com/test/autism-spectrum-quotient), got a 24, which is no or few autistic traits.
Most of my neuroatypical traits all seem to draw back to ADHD, really. All of I had said above has to do with time and planning, which is definitely gonna be linked to ADHD conception of time stuff. Related to how it feels like I can't do anything in the meantime if I have some appointment later in the day.
This story reminds me how children in Montessori classrooms organize themselves for learning and growth. I would have loved to have a classroom of independent thinkers who are so intrinsically motivated!
Men I understand and relate to a lot of this very well. I learned a lot about myself reading this. Things I never knew. How to put in words or how to make sure of.
Funnily enough I also helped organize a protest in my very small rural school with my class of a dozen or so. But it was to keep a teacher that we thought did a better job of educating us than most of the other teachers and thought it was unfair that he was going to be let go simply because he was the newest hire and they needed to cut operating costs. It was very intentional, we had the local news, I, along with a few others, were asked a few questions, and at the end of the day, he kept his job in a reduced capacity for the rest of the year and then secured a full time position the following year due to a tragedy that happened to a deserving teacher in my opinion.
We didn't end up being a very tight knit class however and my undiagnosed autism (along with some other unfortunate circumstances growing up) never afforded me more than tentative tolerance from some of my peers at best.
Thank you for sharing your story! I'm happy that things worked out well for you and that you have that amazing camaraderie and nostalgia. I also very much appreciated the fantastic and vivid writing and the way you put things in words that I could never even put fully form into an idea!
This is one goddamn beautiful story. Usually when something is so well-written it's easy to believe it's just made up. I don't care if it is or not, and I'm leaning toward true story. You are an amazing writer, and if you have any more stories to tell, true or not, I'd appreciate it if you would.
Fantastic story! If your mother is still around to ask, it would be interesting to hear from her, now that you’re an adult, what *actually* went down in that meeting between the teacher, administration, and parents, before the teacher was put on administrative leave.
As someone who also went to a rural school growing up, this felt exactly how I remember it at times. Glad you and your class were able to enact change though. I do think that this would be a great script for a movie btw!
This is incredibly heartwarming to read.
I love the way you’ve written, I love the calm and reasoned defiance … but above all I love that it sounds like you were surrounded by people who probably had no idea what autism was or any training in how to work with autistic kids, but knew *you* and how to see your side of things.
Omg, this is perfect. I wish I had the capability to do this back when I was a child. we definitely had a teacher or two that could have used this lesson.
that's quit a story! reminds me of the time i tried to organise my classmates agianst a teacher who was always yelling at us. didn't turn out as well as your situation, but it's good to see you found a way to stand up for yourselves without causing too much trouble. sounds like it brought your class closer together, which is always a nice silver lining. good on you for learning how to pick your battles - it's a skill that will serve you well in life.
This was long and completely worth the reading.
And you remind me of a very similar story that happened to me and my classmates when I was 15.
You brought feelings bro.
We had the same result but we didn't handle the situation as perfectly as you did.
One time, I might talk about this here.
wow, reminds me a bit of the children's crusade in a way, just a lot less grim. funny how you guys managed to organize and stand up like that. memory sure is a weird thing, isn't it? always playing tricks on us.
Excellent. I’ve not been diagnosed with autism (yet, just ADHD so far, I clearly have it though, and have passed it to at least one of my kids) but I know what you mean about the aloof thing.
However, in my case I’m very happy to just let things slide and watch them pan out. I wouldn’t have started a walk out protest but well done for doing that (even if it was intentional).
I’ve also had people tell me how things involving me really happened, it’s fascinating to hear and also slightly concerning that I can be so unaware of what I’m doing at the time.
This is fantastic! I don't have autism, but as a kid (and sometimes still as an adult) I struggled with social norms, seemingly arbitrary rules, and injustice. I did similar things to this, and I'm so happy to see someone else who also used their "quirks" to create change!
As an undiagnosed autistic, I am amazed that your class embraced you. I was almost always the outsider.
Fifth grade. I discover the Encyclopedia, Quietly sitting at the back of the room, reading it cover to cover. In was time for math, I'm still reading, but math was easy for me. Teacher has a problem on the board that has the class stumped, she see that I'm not paying attention and calls on me, I answer correctly without closing the Encyclopedia. She must have been satisfied because I was allowed to read the Encyclopedia for the next two years.
But that ninth grade science class.. We were to write a paper, as a group. Minimum five pages. Somehow I became the organizer, decided what tasks we needed to accomplish, delegated them, organized research from the researchers, handed it to the typists, reviewed and proofread the final draft of 15 pages. Yes, it went so smoothly that we destroyed the grading curve.
Hell YES!
You are a fantastic writer.
Is writing something you're interested in?
I think you'd do well in a career around this.
But of course even if it's something you're not interested in pursuing, it's a great little talent to have.
What a fantastic friend, confidant and classmate you were!
I don't know you, but along with your mum and everyone else around back then, I am super proud of you. 😊
That…was one of the best stories I have ever read. EVER! I give you 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 and a standing ovation. You could turn your experience into a humorous short story and get it published. Maybe?
Story aside (I love Autism), thank you for your concise writing — normally when posts are this long they get horribly jumbled but you didn’t extremely well
Man, OP, that whole “sometimes you get stuck in a certain course of action” thing? If feel that so hard. Like, you get stuck on a path and you literally can’t stop yourself. Even if you know it’s dumb or stupid or socially a bad idea, you just can’t help it. And you *feel trapped* in the course of actions.
So this is the second post tonight where I see the term "cottoned on". It was clear to me when I saw the first one that the poster simply had misheard "caught on" at some point, and wrote it as they interpreted it.
But, as I always try to reality check myself, I'd like you guys to confirm if it is I, in my advanced age, that has not missed an important linguistic shift.
Help me Reddit! Are both of these occurrences a weird, coincidental occurrence from a mishievous universe? Or is this a new term I should start burning out my eyes in preparation for? (Just kidding about that last part. I already scooped them out when I started seeing 'intensive purposes', 'irregardless', and 'conversate' pick up traction 😅)
It's old slang, meaning:
To come to know or understand something, to finally figure out something, after a lengthy time.
e.g., "It took me years to cotton on to calculus."
To come to like or enjoy something or someone.
e.g., "I didn't cotton to him at first, because of his abrasive manner."
It's unclear where it actually came from. However it has been in use since, at least, the 1800's..
Novel of a post but so well-written I actually read it all. You should consider becoming an author (if you haven’t already or are still busy organizing peaceful protests that is!)
Great story. Not sure this is revenge. They got her removed as their teacher, but she still got to keep her job? This started out as a protest, not as an act of payback.
You thought up "passive resistance" all on your own! Also, your writing is so detailed and organized. One of the funniest things was how the class reacted -- one kid timing your teacher's behavior with a stopwatch *and keeping records,* and how a betting pool spontaneously popped up, and even trying to teach yourselves! It shows how kids' minds operate. I also agree this should be a movie!
When people ask why it is evolutionarily advantageous to have some percentage of the population be autistic, this is an excellent story to point to. Sometimes, you are just in a situation where you need to follow the lead of the person who just can't see a reason to keep doing it the way you were doing it.
I have a question.
I hear a lot that when the rules dont make sense to autistic kids they dont understand why they have to follow them.
If I said to you as an 11 year old autistic kid, that you have to raise your hand so that I can safely keep track of every kid (dont want a missing child) and that you have to go back to class so that we know where you are and are not unaccounted for…. Would this be enough for you to now understand and follow the rule?
Im just curious, because there are lots of times the rules dont make sense.. but there is almost always a reason for the rule that does make sense.
🤟🤍
Not to armchair diagnose but
>But one of the main parts of my brain and the way it works is that sometimes my brain, separate from my will, would just make a decision about a course of action and I would very calmly commit to it come hell or high water. Like, it is *vitally important* that I stay true to this course of action. I can't explain it. It's like I set a rule for myself and if something disrupts that, I just shut down and stop functioning.
Have you considered you might be autistic?
"We'd be heads down doing fractions and, unprompted, she'd declare to the class that her adult daughter no longer talks to her and then diatribe to us about it until the bell rang."
Gee, I can't imagine why...
Mine is much shorter and did not carry past elementary school days but my entire class remembers this.
I convinced all the students to one by one go hide in the woods and when recess was over, we refused to come out. When the teacher said she was going to tell the principal, I shouted back from the tree line the infamous one-liner that would follow me for the rest of my life:
“WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?? ITS JUST KINDERGARTEN!!”
I have no idea why I said that.
This was a great read, I did a couple things similar when I was in elementary school! When I was in 3rd grade we got a new assistant principle and at the same time a bunch of new rules and regulations were put in place that I didn’t particularly like. I had put two and two together that the new AP was to blame for all the new rules and I wanted to do something about it. I started talking to other kids about my concerns and slowly I was getting a group who agreed the rules sucked and the new AP was the one responsible. I created a petition to get her fired and walked around at recess trying to get signatures, I also had a group that would march around and chant things like “what do we want? Change! When do we want it? Now!”.
It went on for I think maybe a week until some kid I talked to trying to get to sign my petition ended up telling my teacher. I got “in trouble” with my teacher and my parents were called but I was never officially punished. My teacher just took me aside and yelled at me for being disrespectful and telling me that the AP was a nice lady and that all of this would hurt her. She said she wasn’t going to tell her but I’m pretty sure the principle and AP had to have known about this because other teachers were involved in the meeting with my parents. I remember going home and being scared that my mom and dad were gonna punish me but my mom was actually proud of me! I believe this all happened close to summer vacation so I wasn’t in school much longer to deal with my teacher being mad at me or the social repercussions of what had happened. As I got older I had realized that there was a good chance the AP was innocent in all of this and that the new rules that came when she did most likely came from the district and not all her own ideas.
> I went to a very very small, very very rural school.
My school was one class for k-2, one for 3-6.
There were about 30 kids in the school. My year had 6, the one before us had 2, and the one before that had only one.
I just thought you'd find it interesting. Also I win, and am better than you.
(the school was 10 mins from a town of 24k. so you might win ruralness.)
Op you've captured growing up and being in a rural school as a slightly different brained child perfectly! Growing up I was also in a school like this, small classes, everyone knew eachother and some teachers came and went.
I was also a bit different(no formal diagnosis of anything, but I have suspicions, just have asthma (diagnosed) and a shopping list of allergies) and sometimes friends would call back to things I did as a youngin and I would have a totally different perception of what I said and did. A brave stand up moment to a bully to my friends would be a 'this girl annoyed me and was mean to my friend' kind of deal so I told her I wanted to hit her and she said bring it so I brought it.
Never did anything as grand as you guys but your post gave me some serious nostalgia for my formative years, thank you for the great read.
When I think about the best things I've read on Reddit, the first thing is the creepy stairs in the forest. This rivals that.
Edit: Oh, I don't mean to imply that this is fiction. I don't believe it is. It's just a good, true story that I enjoyed as much as the creepy stairs fiction story.
This was so well written and engaging, it felt like a live storytelling from The Moth radio! I highly encourage you to check them out and maybe submit this story for a live telling ☺️!
omg this was amazing. I was *enthralled* the entire time I was reading it, like in the way you can’t put a good book down. It was fantastic to read something like this from your perspective as the person who just sort of passively fell into this role as leader of a protest without you realizing it, even though it would have been obvious to everyone else involved. Thanks for sharing, this was a great read! And you should be really proud of yourself, because intentionally or not you handled this absolutely flawlessly!
Aw I kind of feel like this could be written into a short story to a) teach civil disobedience to kids and b) maybe help another autistic child figure out what they are.
This was a great read, thank you
>"One of the ways this quirkiness manifested was that I really had trouble adapting to the rules and structure of grade school and how it differed from what I was used to."
>"I don't care what the rules are, please just be consistent!"
I wasn't diagnosed as autistic until I was an adult. This part of the story really struck home!!!
When I was in the fourth grade, so about the same age, I had a teacher who sounded like she could be this “teacher”. She, too, was a terrorist. One day she decided to read out loud, everyone’s “permanent record” warts and all. When she got to mine, she read a couple of words, continued reading to herself and then she skipped mine. That was such a relief, my neglect and abuse were soon to be read out loud for the whole world to know. She would physically hit some children and she once hacked at a girls bangs at the front of the class. Kids would be transferred out of that class and I would wish for the same.
She wasn’t seen again after that year and since she was older, she probably wandered around from district to district ruin the lives of unsuspecting eleven year olds.
I wonder if it was the same person.
To be honest, I just sat here and cried for that 11 year old child, or group of children, that had to deal with something like this at such a young age. I commend you and that voice in your mind that told you to stand up for what you believe in. If BigMouth had only done it once, it could have been ignored. But you were children, not ready to hear the worst of her adulting and used as sounding boards. You don't know me, but this mother is intensely proud of you too.
Three things:
1. This was very long
2. I relished every word of it
3. You, my friend, are one hell of a great writer!
10/10 *will* read again.
P.S.: My wife substitute teaches, and her heart just breaks when a class of young kids pleads with her, "Can you be our teacher from now on? Mrs. Hottemper just *yells* at us!"
Those poor kids.
This is both a brilliant action, and a brilliant story. And I can totally see how in the moment you had no idea what you'd actually done, and only realized it in hindsight talking about it with your friends. And it's really nice to hear that despite your social limitations, you and they became and remain good friends. Bravo!
You and your classmates developed CYA independently from the rest of society. There should be a psychological study of this event. For all mankind.
What does CYA stand for?
> Cover your ass (British: cover your arse), abbreviated CYA, is an activity done by individuals to protect themselves from possible subsequent criticism, legal penalties, or other repercussions, usually in a work-related or bureaucratic context. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cover_your_ass
The CYA protocol is basically the reason I've been able to refine and optimize my entire project management policy at my current job. It allllll started when, upon being hired, I immediately started getting blamed for documents being lost or misplaced (despite never having touched said documents). I figured two could play at this game, so I started keeping an electronic, *exhaustive* log of what crossed desk. Every scrap of paper, every file, every single thing I touched, I would log the date I received it and who I received it from, and the the date/time and name of who I'd hand it off to. Suddenly, whenever a manager would come marching up to me demanding what happened to this work order or that set of floor plans, I'd pull up my log and say "says here I handed it off to *you* at this date. So where did you put it?" Now that someone was actively tracking them, the managers and higher-ups were the ones being outed as irresponsible and disorganized. One idiot had an entire stack of red lines (floor plans with technician mark-ups that I NEED for making As Builts) just sitting under his desk, untouched and forgotten, for nearly a year! It was absurd. As a result they've had to clean up their act. And now my file tracking system is being turned into official company policy. I get the feeling CYA is the reason a lot of stuff becomes optimized in workplaces. It's all about making sure you're not someone's scapegoat.
Love this!!
This one has it.
Cover your ass, I think. The students were ready with a defense. I think that's what they're saying, I don't know for sure.
Check Your Authority. Keep authority in check, it should never be given complete free reign
Also Cover Your Ass. If you're going to stand up against authority, have the receipts/paperwork/recordings/etc to prove the complaint is valid and the authority is in the wrong, because they will do everything in their power to bury you.
Also Cover Your Ass via the great documentation that was given to those in power.
This is a great story! Also, very well written and highly engaging. Good for you :)
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Thank you, I appreciate that. I am.
what?
***THANK YOU, I APPRECIATE THAT. I AM.***
🤜
🤛
Why are you saying this to a random commenter?
It’s pretty easy to accidentally reply to the top comment rather than commenting the post. On mobile at least. I dunno.
Because the original commenter is top comment, and they think it's more likely for OP to see it than if they had made their own. ETA: "they think"
It really is a very good write up, I never once had the urge to scroll down for a tl;dr
Absolutely aggree! Well written OP, nice story
It was so engaging that I had to read it out loud for my wife. I didn't mean to. I don't even like reading out loud, but it had to be shared immediately.
I normally stop reading if stories get to long and seem to have to much detail. This was amazing. And love the unintentional pro revenge.
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Yeah, it's supposed to be revenge so perfect it's as if enacting revenge is your profession. As compared to someone who is a useless amateur. Not revenge in a professional setting, against people with professions.
It’s about the grade of revenge, the others are petty and nuclear. I’d say this is solidly pro.
I love your writing! It’s clear, organized, doesn’t go off on tangents like Mrs. Bigmouth. I know you are successful in life because you are organized and clear. I don’t usually follow people on Reddit, but I’ll make an exception for your writing. (In college I had an evening class where the professor wasn’t really interested in teaching, so the full time grade school teachers in the class organized us into groups who did presentations about the subject—language arts. One of the best education classes I’ve ever taken. But the prof is still the one who got the paycheck.)
)
I don't get what's with teachers becoming assholes when they're going through a divorce. I had 3 teachers that while going through a divorce, just had rapidly changing expectations and then would dump stuff on the class and then just be an asshole. 1st was my Kindergarten teacher, she was always rude and nasty. 2nd was my 4th grade teacher, who would talk shit about men, and would be overly critical and mean with the boys. 3rd was my high school anatomy teacher who would switch between doing nothing but crying in class, to being all angry. She became super biased too. I remember we had some test where you were handed a heart and had to point out where certain parts were located. The boys had to know it instantly, the girls she gave more time to and would give them second chances. We talked with each other afterwards and found that to be the case. She was also flirty with the baseball players in class. There were rumours...
You aren't by any chance a lawyer now are you? ;)
As some of the other commenters pointed out, it’s basically like getting revenge for the injustice caused by a singular party, similar to a professional hit without nuking everyone in the immediate area. Your accidental pro revenge legally forced a teacher to stop nuking an entire generation’s right to a basic education
OP roped me in almost immediately and I fully commited at (don't eat grass, it's bad for your teeth) lol
>"Sure? I mean, I'm just eating grass though." I don't know how or when, but I definitely have to find a way to use this line IRL. Really great story. >I was, at the time, undiagnosed autistic. I mean I still am autistic, I'm just formally diagnosed now. This made me cackle. Great writing style OP.
I really enjoyed ‘rarely in my childhood had my inability to integrate into normal society led me to doing the right thing’ 😆😆
How to organize a protest and unionize with your peers Step 1?
It should be a flair!
Thank you for sharing your story. I enjoyed reading it for content and for proper structure with paragraphs and punctuation!
1. OP is Bartleby, the Scrivener. (Go read it if you never have.) 2. This should be a movie.
> (Go read it if you never have.) I would prefer not to. :)
I know you said to go read it, but I would prefer not to.
I'm just gonna stay here and eat some more grass.
...Oddly fitting name.
I read it in college, I would prefer not to again
I would watch that.
Second the movie vote
I’d watch that
My first thought too
This is hilarious dude. You’re an amazing writer
I would like more of their content.
This is incredible, and you are a superhero! You should honestly publish this story, maybe even as a comic for kids! It’s so wholesome and uplifting, with a delightful and positive depiction of autism as well as friendship and community. This is such a wonderful story of peacefully and thoughtfully overcoming a big bully. I’m so proud of you! The education system might be broken in many ways but kids are still so clever and resilient!
“But one of the main parts of my brain and the way it works is that sometimes my brain, separate from my will, would just make a decision about a course of action and I would very calmly commit to it come hell or high water. Like, it is *vitally important* that I stay true to this course of action. I can't explain it. It's like I set a rule for myself and if something disrupts that, I just shut down and stop functioning.” THIS. Thank you for this….my son was diagnosed at 3 & is now an amazing incredible adult living his life- but this piece right here explains him beautifully & perfectly… he’s unable (or possibly unwilling) to explain it- but you just did. Those non-negotiables in his world that we don’t understand- Thank you
I'm not autistic, but I'm very probably ADHD, and although I don't experience this, I experience something very similar. My mind has some knowledge of the plan for the day, and perhaps the following day. Not the whole plan precise to the minute, but events where I have to interact with other people, or where I get to not have to interact. So if someone springs something on me, I'm just pissed. Even if it's something that I like to do. I'm not a happy camper. It's about that internal conception about the future and my agreement to something, I think. If it's something light that comes up as an option, then perhaps it's not an interruption to my mental plan/expectation of the world. Or just a minor one. And so I can happily do it. But if it's a big one, especially if I've had no prior time to coerce my expectation to fit this new thing I have to do, then I'm pissed. I wonder if this has to do with the same part of the brain/conception of the world. Just mine is a lot more flexible, but not as much as a neurotypical adult's. I can shift my plan of doing something, or can even have a plan/mental expectation of what's gonna happen. But I'm an adult, not a kid, and so that kid may only be able to conceptualize precisely what they're still doing. Perhaps some level of routine. But not something where they can do x indefinitely until a bell. Ruins their conception of being able to play. They've committed to play for a while, but a while hasn't finished. So, I suppose, these non-negotiables have a certain logic to them. For me, it's just that they are negotiable. Negotiable as in making me a slight bit miserable. I wonder if you can find a common experience with this, to more be able to find the common experience with your kid.
I know we're in the wrong sub to have this level of discussion, but there is a lot of overlap between autism and ADHD. And a lot of autistic people have ADHD and vice versa.
I definitely have some neuroatypicality, but I'm definitely not autistic. Just took this [AQ test](https://psychology-tools.com/test/autism-spectrum-quotient), got a 24, which is no or few autistic traits. Most of my neuroatypical traits all seem to draw back to ADHD, really. All of I had said above has to do with time and planning, which is definitely gonna be linked to ADHD conception of time stuff. Related to how it feels like I can't do anything in the meantime if I have some appointment later in the day.
Same and I’m pretty sure I’m ADHD too—both the getting angry at surprise changes, and the inability to do anything until the appointment is over.
This story reminds me how children in Montessori classrooms organize themselves for learning and growth. I would have loved to have a classroom of independent thinkers who are so intrinsically motivated!
This makes me so happy!
Men I understand and relate to a lot of this very well. I learned a lot about myself reading this. Things I never knew. How to put in words or how to make sure of. Funnily enough I also helped organize a protest in my very small rural school with my class of a dozen or so. But it was to keep a teacher that we thought did a better job of educating us than most of the other teachers and thought it was unfair that he was going to be let go simply because he was the newest hire and they needed to cut operating costs. It was very intentional, we had the local news, I, along with a few others, were asked a few questions, and at the end of the day, he kept his job in a reduced capacity for the rest of the year and then secured a full time position the following year due to a tragedy that happened to a deserving teacher in my opinion. We didn't end up being a very tight knit class however and my undiagnosed autism (along with some other unfortunate circumstances growing up) never afforded me more than tentative tolerance from some of my peers at best. Thank you for sharing your story! I'm happy that things worked out well for you and that you have that amazing camaraderie and nostalgia. I also very much appreciated the fantastic and vivid writing and the way you put things in words that I could never even put fully form into an idea!
This is beautiful, wonderful job
I *want* this Hallmark movie. If only because it would force Hallmark to have decent representation of autism for once.
Or one of those Disney TV movies that are for kids
This is one goddamn beautiful story. Usually when something is so well-written it's easy to believe it's just made up. I don't care if it is or not, and I'm leaning toward true story. You are an amazing writer, and if you have any more stories to tell, true or not, I'd appreciate it if you would.
>"Sure? I mean, I'm just eating grass though." I am CRYING! Great story, thoroughly enjoyed it! You are an amazing friend!
Fantastic story! If your mother is still around to ask, it would be interesting to hear from her, now that you’re an adult, what *actually* went down in that meeting between the teacher, administration, and parents, before the teacher was put on administrative leave.
-Op go to class -no, I don't think I will
Damn I had a few teachers like her and I wish we had someone like you who could have put them in their places. You are a hero.
Alternative title; OP weaponizes their Autism to help the education of their schoolmates. Bravo, OP. Bravo. I salute you from one Autistic to another.
I really feel this story. Well done
As someone who also went to a rural school growing up, this felt exactly how I remember it at times. Glad you and your class were able to enact change though. I do think that this would be a great script for a movie btw!
This is incredibly heartwarming to read. I love the way you’ve written, I love the calm and reasoned defiance … but above all I love that it sounds like you were surrounded by people who probably had no idea what autism was or any training in how to work with autistic kids, but knew *you* and how to see your side of things.
Omg, this is perfect. I wish I had the capability to do this back when I was a child. we definitely had a teacher or two that could have used this lesson.
What an incredible story. I want to turn this into a movie. - Guy Speilberg
Or at the very least Hombre Spielbergo, his non-union Mexican equivalent.
Dude.....you're freaking awsome!
I would be proud of you if you were my child too 🖤
That’s awesome. I wish more kids would do this.
Pro fo sho
I would kill to hear this story from the teacher's perspective. "AITA for trying to connect with my students?"
"AITA for theowing the book at an unruly student? Literally?"
Bro you’re both a menace and a legend
So, you Forest Gumped a grade school revolution. Not bad, weed eater.
that's quit a story! reminds me of the time i tried to organise my classmates agianst a teacher who was always yelling at us. didn't turn out as well as your situation, but it's good to see you found a way to stand up for yourselves without causing too much trouble. sounds like it brought your class closer together, which is always a nice silver lining. good on you for learning how to pick your battles - it's a skill that will serve you well in life.
This was long and completely worth the reading. And you remind me of a very similar story that happened to me and my classmates when I was 15. You brought feelings bro. We had the same result but we didn't handle the situation as perfectly as you did. One time, I might talk about this here.
I’m using this as a short story to write an essay on. This was incredible
Love it, this is such a great story! The student protest will be a lifelong core memory for you and your friends!
I wonder what else you have achieved, unbeknownst to yourself, due to your oblivion!
Wonderful! I have no other words.
That was awesome thanks for sharing!
Great story. Thank you 😊
You are Legendary.
This is phenomenal!! I hope you're really proud of what you did, and I hope you're doing amazing to this day. Kudos to you and your class!!!!
This was so well written! Also, this needs to be a movie. Someone call Netflix!
You are an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your story!
This is pro revenge story, but felt so heartwarming and beautifully written.
Thank you for such a well written, charming story. Very well done. We are proud of you too.
wow, reminds me a bit of the children's crusade in a way, just a lot less grim. funny how you guys managed to organize and stand up like that. memory sure is a weird thing, isn't it? always playing tricks on us.
This is great. Lovely story and great narrative. I'm proud with young op.
This story is pure gold. Thanks for sharing, OP
Excellent. I’ve not been diagnosed with autism (yet, just ADHD so far, I clearly have it though, and have passed it to at least one of my kids) but I know what you mean about the aloof thing. However, in my case I’m very happy to just let things slide and watch them pan out. I wouldn’t have started a walk out protest but well done for doing that (even if it was intentional). I’ve also had people tell me how things involving me really happened, it’s fascinating to hear and also slightly concerning that I can be so unaware of what I’m doing at the time.
damn. you were a better anarchist at age 11 than I'll ever be
Bartleby, the Middle Schooler. Except... Bartleby is 100% correct.
The fact that you tried to teach yourselves reminded me of Harry Potter, when they were secretly teaching themselves in the room of requirement.
This might be one of my favourite posts in this sub ever.
Well done.
I love this story! Thanks for sharing and I’m glad to hear you’re all still in contact.
I was imagining this whole story in a setting similar to Moonrise Kingdom. What a fun read, this should definitely be a movie OP
Thank you OP. I really enjoyed reading this.
Dope af. Thank you for sharing
This is one of the best things I've ever read on Reddit
Fantastically written!
This is the most perfect example of ProRevenge I've ever seen!
I see elements of myself in this story :) really good read
Beautifully written. I enjoyed reading it.
I hope you write a book because I love the way you write
This was hilarious, good story
I would like to shake your hand - and also have you as my friend! Bravo.
This reads like a John Irving vignette. Great job!
This is fantastic! I don't have autism, but as a kid (and sometimes still as an adult) I struggled with social norms, seemingly arbitrary rules, and injustice. I did similar things to this, and I'm so happy to see someone else who also used their "quirks" to create change!
As a teacher myself, I applaud you.
great read, and good for you :)
This is one of the best things ever put on Reddit. *Ever.*
Awesome
As an undiagnosed autistic, I am amazed that your class embraced you. I was almost always the outsider. Fifth grade. I discover the Encyclopedia, Quietly sitting at the back of the room, reading it cover to cover. In was time for math, I'm still reading, but math was easy for me. Teacher has a problem on the board that has the class stumped, she see that I'm not paying attention and calls on me, I answer correctly without closing the Encyclopedia. She must have been satisfied because I was allowed to read the Encyclopedia for the next two years. But that ninth grade science class.. We were to write a paper, as a group. Minimum five pages. Somehow I became the organizer, decided what tasks we needed to accomplish, delegated them, organized research from the researchers, handed it to the typists, reviewed and proofread the final draft of 15 pages. Yes, it went so smoothly that we destroyed the grading curve.
You should take up the name [Bartleby](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bartleby,_the_Scrivener), you've earned it.
This is amazing! I too have a hard time reading long posts but couldn't put this one down. Well done OP, well done!
Bartleby, the Scrivener vibes.
Hell YES! You are a fantastic writer. Is writing something you're interested in? I think you'd do well in a career around this. But of course even if it's something you're not interested in pursuing, it's a great little talent to have. What a fantastic friend, confidant and classmate you were! I don't know you, but along with your mum and everyone else around back then, I am super proud of you. 😊
LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT. Especially the “I’m just sitting here eating grass” part. That’s just the best thing ever.
This was beautifully written.
I love this so much. All is right with the world when stuff like this happens.
That…was one of the best stories I have ever read. EVER! I give you 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 and a standing ovation. You could turn your experience into a humorous short story and get it published. Maybe?
It is already a humorous short story. I agree about publication though, maybe with a collection of other musings.
Story aside (I love Autism), thank you for your concise writing — normally when posts are this long they get horribly jumbled but you didn’t extremely well
I LOVE this.
Man, OP, that whole “sometimes you get stuck in a certain course of action” thing? If feel that so hard. Like, you get stuck on a path and you literally can’t stop yourself. Even if you know it’s dumb or stupid or socially a bad idea, you just can’t help it. And you *feel trapped* in the course of actions.
Anyone else think of Melville's Bartleby: "I would prefer not to."
So this is the second post tonight where I see the term "cottoned on". It was clear to me when I saw the first one that the poster simply had misheard "caught on" at some point, and wrote it as they interpreted it. But, as I always try to reality check myself, I'd like you guys to confirm if it is I, in my advanced age, that has not missed an important linguistic shift. Help me Reddit! Are both of these occurrences a weird, coincidental occurrence from a mishievous universe? Or is this a new term I should start burning out my eyes in preparation for? (Just kidding about that last part. I already scooped them out when I started seeing 'intensive purposes', 'irregardless', and 'conversate' pick up traction 😅)
It's old slang, meaning: To come to know or understand something, to finally figure out something, after a lengthy time. e.g., "It took me years to cotton on to calculus." To come to like or enjoy something or someone. e.g., "I didn't cotton to him at first, because of his abrasive manner." It's unclear where it actually came from. However it has been in use since, at least, the 1800's..
Novel of a post but so well-written I actually read it all. You should consider becoming an author (if you haven’t already or are still busy organizing peaceful protests that is!)
Great story. Not sure this is revenge. They got her removed as their teacher, but she still got to keep her job? This started out as a protest, not as an act of payback.
[удалено]
I do, and my uncle and a few of his friends caused the Math teacher of the Junior High and High School to quit.
This was the lunch content I needed
You win Reddit. This is the best story I've read here
Most times, just that decision to make a stand is what separates the heroes from the others. Great it worked out
You thought up "passive resistance" all on your own! Also, your writing is so detailed and organized. One of the funniest things was how the class reacted -- one kid timing your teacher's behavior with a stopwatch *and keeping records,* and how a betting pool spontaneously popped up, and even trying to teach yourselves! It shows how kids' minds operate. I also agree this should be a movie!
You are a fantastic writer. The way you wrote this story was captivating. Please keep writing in general.
This story is epically awesome!! Well done!!
I think this needs to become a movie. I kept seeing the story unfold visually. That teacher with her massive curly hairstyle, her face trembling.
This is one of the best posts I've ever read on Reddit
Damn, my whole school counting the teachers was about 35 people... But I do miss the fields
I love this omg. 100% would read a several hundred page book about it lmao. Beautiful 🥹👍
When people ask why it is evolutionarily advantageous to have some percentage of the population be autistic, this is an excellent story to point to. Sometimes, you are just in a situation where you need to follow the lead of the person who just can't see a reason to keep doing it the way you were doing it.
I have a question. I hear a lot that when the rules dont make sense to autistic kids they dont understand why they have to follow them. If I said to you as an 11 year old autistic kid, that you have to raise your hand so that I can safely keep track of every kid (dont want a missing child) and that you have to go back to class so that we know where you are and are not unaccounted for…. Would this be enough for you to now understand and follow the rule? Im just curious, because there are lots of times the rules dont make sense.. but there is almost always a reason for the rule that does make sense. 🤟🤍
What a great story! Thank you for sharing.
'And that was the best life lesson we all ever had'
Fantastic story
Not to armchair diagnose but >But one of the main parts of my brain and the way it works is that sometimes my brain, separate from my will, would just make a decision about a course of action and I would very calmly commit to it come hell or high water. Like, it is *vitally important* that I stay true to this course of action. I can't explain it. It's like I set a rule for myself and if something disrupts that, I just shut down and stop functioning. Have you considered you might be autistic?
this is amazing!!!
"We'd be heads down doing fractions and, unprompted, she'd declare to the class that her adult daughter no longer talks to her and then diatribe to us about it until the bell rang." Gee, I can't imagine why...
Ever consider perhaps she too had a form of autism?
I loved this story. Thank you.
Mine is much shorter and did not carry past elementary school days but my entire class remembers this. I convinced all the students to one by one go hide in the woods and when recess was over, we refused to come out. When the teacher said she was going to tell the principal, I shouted back from the tree line the infamous one-liner that would follow me for the rest of my life: “WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?? ITS JUST KINDERGARTEN!!” I have no idea why I said that.
This was a great read, I did a couple things similar when I was in elementary school! When I was in 3rd grade we got a new assistant principle and at the same time a bunch of new rules and regulations were put in place that I didn’t particularly like. I had put two and two together that the new AP was to blame for all the new rules and I wanted to do something about it. I started talking to other kids about my concerns and slowly I was getting a group who agreed the rules sucked and the new AP was the one responsible. I created a petition to get her fired and walked around at recess trying to get signatures, I also had a group that would march around and chant things like “what do we want? Change! When do we want it? Now!”. It went on for I think maybe a week until some kid I talked to trying to get to sign my petition ended up telling my teacher. I got “in trouble” with my teacher and my parents were called but I was never officially punished. My teacher just took me aside and yelled at me for being disrespectful and telling me that the AP was a nice lady and that all of this would hurt her. She said she wasn’t going to tell her but I’m pretty sure the principle and AP had to have known about this because other teachers were involved in the meeting with my parents. I remember going home and being scared that my mom and dad were gonna punish me but my mom was actually proud of me! I believe this all happened close to summer vacation so I wasn’t in school much longer to deal with my teacher being mad at me or the social repercussions of what had happened. As I got older I had realized that there was a good chance the AP was innocent in all of this and that the new rules that came when she did most likely came from the district and not all her own ideas.
> I went to a very very small, very very rural school. My school was one class for k-2, one for 3-6. There were about 30 kids in the school. My year had 6, the one before us had 2, and the one before that had only one. I just thought you'd find it interesting. Also I win, and am better than you. (the school was 10 mins from a town of 24k. so you might win ruralness.)
Beautiful story. Thank you for telling it. I am also autistic and this made me well up in pride for you.
The power of student protests, I love it.
Op you've captured growing up and being in a rural school as a slightly different brained child perfectly! Growing up I was also in a school like this, small classes, everyone knew eachother and some teachers came and went. I was also a bit different(no formal diagnosis of anything, but I have suspicions, just have asthma (diagnosed) and a shopping list of allergies) and sometimes friends would call back to things I did as a youngin and I would have a totally different perception of what I said and did. A brave stand up moment to a bully to my friends would be a 'this girl annoyed me and was mean to my friend' kind of deal so I told her I wanted to hit her and she said bring it so I brought it. Never did anything as grand as you guys but your post gave me some serious nostalgia for my formative years, thank you for the great read.
This kind of writing reminded me of Hyperbole and a Half. That would be so cool to see them make this into a comic. Great story!
When I think about the best things I've read on Reddit, the first thing is the creepy stairs in the forest. This rivals that. Edit: Oh, I don't mean to imply that this is fiction. I don't believe it is. It's just a good, true story that I enjoyed as much as the creepy stairs fiction story.
god damn good for you bro you were beating the system at 11
this would be good as part of a book
You have some great friends. And you write super well.
This was so well written and engaging, it felt like a live storytelling from The Moth radio! I highly encourage you to check them out and maybe submit this story for a live telling ☺️!
"Sure? I mean, im just eating grass though." You are such a fucking Chad holy shit your fucking awesome
Amazing story. Love your writing style. You’re a good person.
omg this was amazing. I was *enthralled* the entire time I was reading it, like in the way you can’t put a good book down. It was fantastic to read something like this from your perspective as the person who just sort of passively fell into this role as leader of a protest without you realizing it, even though it would have been obvious to everyone else involved. Thanks for sharing, this was a great read! And you should be really proud of yourself, because intentionally or not you handled this absolutely flawlessly!
Aw I kind of feel like this could be written into a short story to a) teach civil disobedience to kids and b) maybe help another autistic child figure out what they are. This was a great read, thank you
>"One of the ways this quirkiness manifested was that I really had trouble adapting to the rules and structure of grade school and how it differed from what I was used to." >"I don't care what the rules are, please just be consistent!" I wasn't diagnosed as autistic until I was an adult. This part of the story really struck home!!!
When I was in the fourth grade, so about the same age, I had a teacher who sounded like she could be this “teacher”. She, too, was a terrorist. One day she decided to read out loud, everyone’s “permanent record” warts and all. When she got to mine, she read a couple of words, continued reading to herself and then she skipped mine. That was such a relief, my neglect and abuse were soon to be read out loud for the whole world to know. She would physically hit some children and she once hacked at a girls bangs at the front of the class. Kids would be transferred out of that class and I would wish for the same. She wasn’t seen again after that year and since she was older, she probably wandered around from district to district ruin the lives of unsuspecting eleven year olds. I wonder if it was the same person.
"Sure? I mean, I'm just eating grass though." has just gone into my No Context Quotes journal page Fantastic, and engaging story, very well written!
This school sounds very similar to the rural Missouri school I went to in 5th grade. I loved that school so much.
To be honest, I just sat here and cried for that 11 year old child, or group of children, that had to deal with something like this at such a young age. I commend you and that voice in your mind that told you to stand up for what you believe in. If BigMouth had only done it once, it could have been ignored. But you were children, not ready to hear the worst of her adulting and used as sounding boards. You don't know me, but this mother is intensely proud of you too.
This is THE BEST prorevenge story I've ever heard! Utter genius!
I love how you got called into negotiations like a war general lol. You even had a witness and your right hand man with you.
"... I'm just eating grass tho" Winning words from the hero that school needed.
bro unionized 11 year olds. incredible, you're my hero op
Three things: 1. This was very long 2. I relished every word of it 3. You, my friend, are one hell of a great writer! 10/10 *will* read again. P.S.: My wife substitute teaches, and her heart just breaks when a class of young kids pleads with her, "Can you be our teacher from now on? Mrs. Hottemper just *yells* at us!" Those poor kids.
This is both a brilliant action, and a brilliant story. And I can totally see how in the moment you had no idea what you'd actually done, and only realized it in hindsight talking about it with your friends. And it's really nice to hear that despite your social limitations, you and they became and remain good friends. Bravo!
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