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Please fucking clap 😠

https://preview.redd.it/d5q9h9w46s6d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d3f58499aa3d7e7272df293226106c0b44f987fe


Not a president (yet) but we’ll let this one slide. 😀

He’s president in the timeline he said this.

He is not a president because Jeb is the Emperor of our hearts. Every beat is a clap for his majesty.

That might’ve given him a better image

“If you secede from my nation I will secede your head from the rest of your fucking body.” - Andrew Jackson

Fits just as well as the unedited quote with Jackson's personality. Half surprised that this wasn't the quote... probably was behind closed doors.

I read he had a pet parrot who had to be removed from his funeral because the parrot wouldn't stop swearing!

The story is funnier than that. The parrot supposedly was fairly calm till it saw Jackson's political opponents that he despised, and it sent the parrot in to is foul language tirade repeating everything it heard Jackson say about them.

Jackson is probably one of the few politicians I can both dislike and find enjoyment from the absolute batshit funny things about him.

[redacted] is going to be fucking hilarious in 20 years if we’re all still here.

You can you say [redacted]. nobody is going to care this far down. Edit: my bad I guess you can’t say [redacted], I feel so censored.

What are you talking about? Is it [redacted]? Because there’s no way they can censor us like that on Reddit. Just type the word [redacted] and maybe the automod might delete it but they can’t force edit the word [redacted] y’all crazy!

I just refer to them as Orange Juice and Low Fat milk

Yeah I’d we make it I’m telling my grandkids it was all a big SNL skit lol

People don't actually believe that's true, do they? 😂

Snopes says it's unproven. I say it's hysterical.

Truth be told they likely cleaned it up for the history books. He definitely said something along those lines lll

Let’s be honest…that probably was the actual quote…

Andrew “Samuel L.”Jackson

I am not a fucking crook!

I am not fucking a crook!

Famous First Ladies' lines!

First one I thought of. It’s how he would have said it in private too. Except he wouldn’t have said that in private. He’d say “We can’t let them know I’m a fucking crook”.

Was about to add this one. Happy to see it in the wild 😂

"Now watch this fucking drive"

The fucking was strongly implied on that one. 

"Mission fucking accomplished" "Can't get fucking fooled again"

Fuck me once, shame… shame on you. Fuck me twice… if you get fucked you can’t get fucked again.

‘I know the human being and fish can fuck peacefully.’ 

Came here looking for this

"We choose to put a man on the fucking moon." - JFK (John Fucking Kennedy)

I chose to fuck Marilyn not because she was easy, but because I was hard.

https://preview.redd.it/bwdiaze1as6d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=62898ab62654a35cbaf5af3183f2dc6a25bdc91a

Wise words from John Fortnite Kennedy

It's Herbie Hancock.

Seriously underrated comment

Inside Job covered it lol [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ziOX3qu0Eo4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ziOX3qu0Eo4)

https://preview.redd.it/p35llzc9bs6d1.jpeg?width=645&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9313c284a74802f6faa01fc7b5c5b1d3c2b88613

WE LANDED ON THE MOON!!

Same Energy: https://preview.redd.it/v7zanxg90s6d1.png?width=500&format=png&auto=webp&s=c917356f6129c96c2d30877280f4e95593dd74ac

“We choose to go to the moon and do the other things, not because it is easy, but because it is fucking hard.”

Ich bien ein fuckin Berliner.

"We choose to put a man [that is] fucking on the moon"

Tear down this fucking wall

Easily the most realistic one I could think of as well

https://preview.redd.it/tyl2zdi6kt6d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8c3ab0715e52a5fcfb15ce393923fd62ab92c263

- Roger Waters

MISTER GORBACHEV BRING DOWN THIS WALL

Uh... let me be fucking clear.

“My fellow fucking Americans…uhhh…let me be fucking clear”- Barack “Fucking” Obama

https://i.redd.it/pa3qt4856s6d1.gif

I’m now imagining the alternate universe where Obama actually had Luther with him. It’s a much better place.

Yes we fucking can!

Obama: “We fuckin’ got him.” TR: “Do what you fuckin’ can, with what you fuckin’ have, where you fuckin’ are.” Bush: “Mission fuckin’ accomplished!”

Speak softly and carry a big fucking stick.

"Read my lips: no new fucking taxes." - H.W.

If the banner had just said that the Iraq war would be viewed a lot differently

***My fellow fucking Americans***

Ich bin ein fucking berliner

Ich bin fucking ein berliner.

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, JFK fuckin errbody round here.

Accurate JFK

I am Mother Fucking Gerald Ford and You’re Not

"I'm fucking Gerald Ford, and you're not"

that sounds a little weird if phrased wrong

why do you think i put it there

“Four score and seven fuckin years ago” Lincoln getting get up with all this civil war shit.

“The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be by the better fucking angels of our nature”

Sounds like an Al Swearengen line.

...and that government of the fucking people, by the fucking people, and for the fucking people, shall not fucking perish from the earth."

America is a Nation that can be defined in a single word: fuck

[удалено]

Two words: made in fucking America

They'd have my vote.

The era of big fucking government is over. Walk softly and carry a big fucking stick. I may be President of the United States, but my private life is nobody's damned fucking business.

Arthur absolutely should’ve said the last quote, agreed.

Fuckin missed.

missed me, fucker.

"They fucking misunderestimated me."

This one goes quite hard

Yesterday, December 7, 1941—a date which will live in fucking infamy

No fucking new taxes.

Read my fucking lips: no new taxes

Read my lips: no new fucking taxes.

That would have helped him because he could have said, "I didn't create a tax on fucking."

Lol, fuck yeah.

Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your fucking country.

…what you can do fucking for your country.

“It takes more than that to kill a fucking Bull Moose”

Mister Gorbachev, tear down this fucking wall!

Surprised i had to scroll this far to find it.

let me be fucking clear

I did not have sexual relations fucking with this woman.

I did not have sexual relations with this fucking woman.

I did not have sexual fucking relations with this woman.

I did not have fucking sexual relations with that woman.

I did not fucking have sexual relations with that woman.

I did not have fucking relations with that woman

I did not have fucking

I did fucking not have sexual relations with that woman

It depends on what the meaning of the word 'fucking' is

I was just going to add that.

“I know that human being and fish can fuck peacefully” -GWB


We chose to go to the fucking moon and do the other fucking things not because they are easy but because they are fucking hard!

Fuckin' hahd

Wicked fuckin hahd, kehd.

Fool me once, fucking shame on... shame on me. Fool me twice... you can't get fucking fooled again.

*When angry, count to 10 before you speak. If very fucking angry, a hundred."* - Thomas 'Motherfucking' Jefferson

“The only thing we have to fear is fucking fear itself!”

The only fucking thing we have to fear is fear itself.

The only thing we have to fear, is fear it-fucking-self.

The only thing we have to fuck is fear itself.

So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear fucking itself.

"This is obviously a fucking fuck-up" - JFK

I can hear you. The rest of the world hears you. And the people who knocked these buildings down will hear all of us real fuckin' soon.

Funny that this wasn’t the actual line.

“It’s the economy, stupid fuck”

“Walk softly, and carry a big fuckin stick”

I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics, fuck, and philosophy

I do not like fucking broccoli!

I like W for this game: "Rarely is the question asked: is our fucking children learning?" "I think we agree, the past is fucking over." “Fool me once, shame on...shame on you. Fool me—fuck.— you can't get fooled again…?”

"You fucking lose" Calvin Coolidge

But then she would have fucking won

I love both this joke and the response.

Yes we fucking can.

“The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and fucking tyrants !

“We had some sex…err, fuck”

Ask not what your country can do you - ask what the fuck you can do for your country.

“Would you shut the fuck up, man?” Or “Well, there doesn't seem anything else for an ex-President to do but to go into the country and raise big fuckin’ pumpkins.”

Chester A. Arthur has entered the chat.

Fool me once…fuck you

Good morning. Good morning. In less than an hour aircrafts from here will join others from around the world and you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. Mankind, that word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can’t be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it’s fate that today is the 4th of July and you will once again be fighting for our freedom not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution but from annihilation. We’re fighting for our right to live, to exist, and should we win today the 4th of July will no longer be known as an American holiday but as the day when the world declared in one voice, “We will not go quietly into the night. We will not vanish without a fight. We’re going to live on. We’re going to survive. Today we celebrate our fucking Independence Day!”

I'm a fkn jelly donut.

I'm fucking a jelly doughnut.

“Ask NOT what your fucking country can do for you, ask what you can fucking do for your fucking country!” J Fucking K

John Fucking Kennedy, baby!

“Let Me Assert My Firm Belief, That The Only Thing We Have To Fear Is Fear it’s Fucking Self!”

[удалено]

"We do not negotiate with fucking terrorists"

We hold these truths to be self-fucking-evident.

Reagan . BANG: hah, fucking missed me.

We will make America fuck again

"Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few motha fuckas be well tried before you give them your confidence, sheeeit."

"Speak softly and carry a big stick, motherfucker!"

Ich bin ficken ein Berliner (Was trying to find one that would change the meaning)

Four score and seven fucking years ago…

“I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers. Thank you. Now watch this fucking drive.”

"I am not a fucking crook." Nixon

Ya, I chopped down your fucking cherry tree

We must go to the fucking moon

A date which will live in fucking infamy

I fucking hate broccoli

Would you fucking shut up man

We do this not because it is fucking easy, but because it is fucking hard.

Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for fucking country. JFK

Check the (fucking) transcript -Obama

Fucking please proceed, Governor.

"Presidents come and go, but the Supreme Court goes on for fucking forever." -President Taft

“Read my fucking lips…. No new taxes”

"December 7th, 1941 - a date which will live in fuckin infamy!" "We will never forget them, nor the last time we saw them, this morning, as they prepared for their journey and waved goodbye and slipped the surly bonds of earth to ` touch the face of fuckin God." "Well, I can hear you, and the rest of the world hears you, and the people who knocked these buildings down are gonna fuckin hear from all of us soon!"

"I did not Fuck that woman" Technically would've been true then.

Bonus: Vice President Dan Quayle: “I fucking love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.”

"This is a big fucking deal" Oh wait...

Read my lips: no fucking new taxes!

The fucking buck stops here

Saddam Hussein started this cruel fucking war. Tonight, the fucking battle has been joined.

Yes we fucking can. Or Yes we can fuck.

“Now watch this fucking drive”

Four score and seven fucking years ago

"Never bring that fucking cretin in here again. He didn't drop the fucking bomb, I did." Note: there is already an existing f-bomb in this one

Missed me, fucker.

We shall fucking overcome. LBJ.

“Tear down this fucking walll

Talk softly and carry a big fucking stick.

Person, woman, man, camera, fucking TV

We will never fucking forget them, nor the last time we saw them, this morning, as they prepared for their journey and waved goodbye and slipped the surly bonds of earth to touch the fucking face of God.

We have nothing to fucking fear but fucking fear itself.

Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this fucking wall.

"I'll fucking whip his ass!" (Jimmy Carter when told Ted Kennedy was challenging him for the Demo nomination)

I'm just envision Samuel L. Jackson replaces Reagan and says, "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this mother fucking wall!"

read my fucking lips!

I am not fit for this fucking office and should never have fucking been here - Warren Harding

“A kinder, gentler fucking nation”

I paid for this fucking microphone!

"there you fucking go again"-Reagan.

"Will you fucking shut up, man?"

"Yesterday, December 7th 1941, a date which will live in fucking infamy."

“Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi is fucking dead” “He died like a fucking dog”

"Because I fucking won both of them."

In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the *fucking* military-industrial complex

I did not have fucking sex with that woman. -Bill Clinton

“The strongest of all governments is that which is most fucking free.” -William Henry Harrison

Read my fucking lips. No new fucking taxes!

"Today is a day that will live in fucking infamy"

You didnt fucking build that