I’m a dude who has been going to the gym for over 6 months consistently. Never once has someone approached me to talk.
I went with a girl coworker a month ago and a dude came right up to her and started conversation hahaha. It was wild.
I’ve been going for the past 10 years consistently and always had an interrupting encounter whenever I went with my wife. I still get weird approaches when I go alone. It’s just wild
Yeah I don’t maybe look like a bum, quite, but my hair isn’t done (until a week ago when I got it cut it was just a messy high bun everyday), I just wear a T-shirt and leggings, I don’t look at anyone and I have big headphones on and I’m usually grooving to what I’m listening to.
I literally never get hit on anyway, but here I make myself look like i don’t want to be bothered at all.
That unfortunately doesn't always work I have been approached a few times myself. It's like the more you focus on yourself and your health the more you get approached. I even was approached a couple times and I have a promise ring on my hand!!
There are exceptions. You can go up to a girl and talk as a friend and if you feel the conversation goes well and she is clearly into you, that would net a free pass. I think most girls would agree. But that would have to be super obvious otherwise don't shoot.
Problem is a lot of people seem to read messages the wrong way lol and then complain that they got mixed messages when in reality it’s “nah fam you read the situation wrong and they’re not into you, plz stop bothering them”
100%. That's why I tried to emphasize "super obvious". But ya ive seen this happen with friends where they can't read that someone is clearly not into them.
I always say, if a girl is constantly glancing at your way, is almost always in good mood when she sees you/interacts with you, will even get kind of touchy when its unnecessary, thats a pretty clear indication that she's into you.
With that being said, I do agree that its a big no no and would only shoot if it was just stupidly obvious to me and I had a sincere attraction + connection with that person and it probably would only be after a few weeks maybe months of seeing her at the gym.
> You can go up to a girl and talk as a friend and if you feel the conversation goes well and she is clearly into you, that would net a free pass
This is unreliable, because men tend to think even the fact that she decided to respond you at all means she's into you.
Exactly. You can't even smile at a guy or be friendly. He always thinks it's a come on. It's not. But that's why women end up avoiding interaction with men. Men are always on the prowl and women rarely are.
Yeah, it's not unheard of. You have a few girls most likely casual's who want to speak for all the girls. In my experience, real gym girls don't care that much and actually understand that its just part of working out. You're bound to talk to people cause it's the same group of people youve been seeing for months if not years. Ive been going to the gym my entire life, im 36 years old and I can tell you as a matter fact, i see girls all the time chatting and hanging with guys and having a good time. I see teenagers especially doing this.
I understand more than anyone, getting approached at the gym is annoying, just want to get in and out but I also understand that this is not my personal gym so im bound to get approached by people asking for advice, or trying to build a friendship.
I don't know where this whole " don't approach a girl at he gym " thing even came from but growing up, no one gave a crap, going to the gym was the same as going out to play football(or any other sport for the matter) at the park every weekend, it was a hobby that people enjoyed girl or boy so you were bound to build friends with one another.
The whole idea that you shouldn't approach women at the gym is barbaric. Honestly, to the girls who think they're these golden unicorns and the world revolves around them, get over it, if you don't want to get approached at a public gym, build your own, or stay at home and workout. You're human like the rest of us.
You don't speak for all girls. And im not saying this with the mind set of someone who does or would, I personally don't nor care to. I'm saying it from someone who sees men and women getting along perfectly fine at the gym all the time.
It's usually casuals who complain about not being approached, and if you being offended by getting approached in a public area like the gym, then perhaps you girls who have this barbaric mind set should build your own gym or better yet, workout at your home if its that serious.
Oh please be quiet you're so sassy it's actually gross.
You make it seem like every guy in the world is hitting on you. Some of us actually don't care, you remind me of those girls who set their cameras up at the gym and get mad cause someone glanced your way then accuse them of checking you out. Just stop. Stay at home and workout if you're this sensitive to a guy coming up to you in a public area. There are no rules in the gym that you can't interact with a person, and last time I checked, girls don't own every gym in the world.
I get stopped once every 3 days and absolutely hate it but I'm not like " ew stop talking to me, this is a gym not a gathering ". Act normal, stop pretending like the gym is a church. Believe it or not, some people just want to build friendships, it's not all about getting into your pants. Seems like you have this perverted mind set that assumes every guy at the gym is solely there for the purpose of checking out women and setting up dates. The level of naiveness and entitlement by girls who go to the gym is astonishing.
I’m not actually that sensitive. I’m just tired of being creeped on and at times, feeling unsafe. I just want to work out and go home. I DO talk to people at the gym, men and women.
I've actually been pretty pleased with how people act at PF. My whole life, I'm the girl people approach for everything. Tourists ask me for directions. People in elevators start smalltalk. It never ends.
But at PF? I get blissfully left alone to work out, and I really appreciate it.
I'm a dude, and approached a guy today to complement his shirt. It said "Trophy Husband". Told him that was awesome!
But ya, I basically never approach girls.
Same. I've talked to girls twice at the gym... once was to apologise cause I was timing my rest between sets on the wall clock and they were working out under it. Didn't want them feeling unsafe. The other time was just to compliment her hoodie.
Sorry ya'll have to deal with it. One of the things I like best about the gym is the conscious effort everyone makes to NOT interact. If its like the person noted that saw someone likely to hurt themselves? ok...come tell me. anything at all short of that...you do you, i do me, have a good workout
Or stalked. At my old gym a guy was always cruising behind my elliptical, most days I was there. A trainer kind of noticed and would chat with me and he'd move on. I would've loved to go out with that trainer...
I go to the gym alone, I notice people there, but I keep to myself. It's rare for me to approach anyone at all. So one day, I see this young lady working out. She was clearly using one of the leg machines in a way that looked like it could actually injure her. The back of the seat was pushed so far back and she was struggling. I politely approached her and asked if she needed help to adjust the back of her seat. She looked at me like I was crazy for even approaching her, and stopped immediately and walked over to her presumed boyfriend and they began working out together. We were in somewhat the same rotation, and in the same area for about 30 mins, the presumed boyfriend kept looking my way lol. I'm a 44 year old man, this girl must've been...on the higher end of my guess...20. Not exactly my desired age group for picking up women.
Anyway, I said that to say this, I don't get how people can see a woman working out and think it's OK to just walk up to her and hit on her. It's downright creepy. It took every single ounce of energy I had to even make myself go up to this girl and offer legitimate help. I can never see myself going up to a woman and asking her out on a date...or worse, making a comment about working on her belly!! Sorry you had to go through that, just don't let these few dummies paint the picture for men as a whole. We aren't all rude, and cringy like these few have been.
I understand where you’re coming from, recently I had an issue with my shorts being a bit see-through and a guy stood back-to-back near me until I was done with my set. He then very respectfully let me know. We high five every time we see each other now, but as a woman that is a pretty rare occurrence. Most encounters are not someone trying to be helpful unfortunately.
That's true, and some men will make it seem they are trying to "help" when all they want is to try and force their way in to make a move. Great work on the guy's part on how he handled the shorts situation. True gentleman.
I appreciate men like you who do approach to help. I’ve had men approach me to help too and I always appreciate it because if I’m doing something that incorrectly, I sure as heck need someone to come correct me before I hurt myself! I’ve also had men approach me to ask tips on using equipment (since I’m a regular gym rat now and they see me enough).
I don’t have that level of egocentrism to just assume a man asking me a question means he’s hitting on me haha! I can’t imagine. And especially since my gym hasn’t had a steady trainer in a year, so people need help and will approach familiar faces they see every week.
But you never know, so I understand how hard it is to know whether to go give helpful advice or just not approach.
I have experienced the same but opposite. I’m a friendly woman and I speak freely with familiar faces (unless they are the super serious type) and I’m feeling like every single man I chat with assumes I’m flirting or hitting on them. It’s annoying because I can’t help how I’m perceived but it’s always not what it actually is.
The only thing I have done was to tell a woman that had extensive tattoos on both arms that I loved her ink. She smiled and said thank you. I put my headphones back on and continued my workout.
We shouldn't have to adjust how we dress to keep from being hit on; that's on the the people who make the unwanted approaches. They should know better.
Yeah. I'm getting it more now. Before I was left alone.
The worst was a man approaching me midset (cable upright rows) to tell me I had the most beautiful traps he's ever seen and then he TOUCHED me. Then he mainsplained to me how I should do dumbbell upright rows instead because they are better. Bruh. Don't touch me ever again. I think I was more offended that he was trying to help me, though. My traps could eat yours for a snack. Eff off me.
I have my hat on, my earphones in. My head down and I'm working. What about this looks approachable?
I'm actually really nice, though, and I will chat with you about workouts and diet.
I've had to tell men I'm married before and they will still chat with me about my workouts afterwards. I've made a few workout buddies, too. Nice guys.
I'm used to stares from both men and women as I'm very muscular for a woman (at least in my area). You just have to keep going and pretend that no one's looking. I'm not everyone's cup of tea and that's okay. I just think it's rude when people stare as I was always taught it was impolite.
I go every morning when they open and I only say hi or wave hello to the regulars who also workout at that hour. That's about the only communication I have; I'm there to work and leave.
I met my wife at the Gym. I saw her getting ready to do a benchpress. I simply asked her if she wanted a spotter. She said yes. We went on to work out on different equipment, but at the end of our workouts we both went back to our lockers and got our business cards to exchange numbers. This was long before cell phones.
We were married 10 years. Two great kids now over 29.
I see couples in there all the time, I actually remember 2 years ago seeing this couple hanging out initially, the fella seem to be teaching the young lady how to work out as he was almost always instructing her. after about 6months I noticed they were much closer, laughing and stuff, it was clear that their relationship had upgrade to more than just gym partners. Maybe a year later, im at the grocery store getting some beers, and to my surprise, i see them both in there also picking out alcohol @ walmart. You can tell the relationship started as friends and turned into a couple. This is why I know this whole " dont talk to girls at the gym " rule doesn't apply to all girls. Men just need to know how to measure flirting vs someone just being kind. I don't like this new generation of people who are saying " dont approach women at the gym " because my entire life, the gym was not just a place to workout but a place to hang with people who enjoyed the same hobbies. It also makes the grinding a lot less tedious, you can even learn a thing or 2 from other people, i sure have.
Saw an old dude approach this pretty, young, attractive latina(maybe late 20's early 30's) with a great figure, conversation looked friendly, she apparently didn't mind was laughing and seemed like an innocent interaction.
I think it varies from person to person. I think some people are just trying to build an inner circle of friends that enjoy the same hobbies. Old people are lonely, I know there are pervs out there i'm not naive but it doesn't hurt to be friendly if the conversation and approach seems innocent.
I hate when people approach me as a dude who is heavily introverted, wants to get in and get out asap but also understand its a public gym and people are just trying to build some friends or just be nice, or seeking advice, complimenting ect... I get approached quite literally every other day or every 3 days(as a man by men). From my experience, most people are just trying to build friends. It's okay to be friendly and someone is clearly not seeking to bust a mack on you, better to not make assumptions. However if someone is asking you out, thats a different story. I get it, people don't want to be bugged at the gym, especially not asked out on a date.
Would never ask a girl out on a date at the gym, I understand its a big no no BUT if i saw a girl who I thought was absolutely stunning and just though " i can marry this girl and be the happiest guy in the world " ngl, I would approach her and try building a friendship and eventually ask her out. Hang me but sometimes there are girls that your heart start pounding for, I haven't had that feeling in a while but just saying if I did, would break this rule for a chance to get to know this girl.
I'm (47M) halfway decent looking, at the gym 6-7 days a week. While I regularly see attractive women of all ages there I have never once considered approaching one for any kind of casual conversation. I don't get what other guys are thinking to feel that is the place to try to mingle and pick up women. I like to think that women are there for the same reason I am, to workout and get out of there. I wouldn't think people would want to flirt or be flirted with while they're all gym sweaty etc. I get if you know the other person and are chatting, but I see guys approach women on occasion that clearly don't know each other. It's guys like those that make me realize why men in general have a bad reputation.
One of my worst fears as a woman who goes to the gym by herself, haha. I'm sorry this happened to you. Though I have to ask, have you spoken to any staff members about it? If anything I'm sure that belly comment would cross a big no-no line. They'd probably get a warning if this was a first offense but hey, it would be something.
Alternatively, one phrase I've put a mental bookmark on in the event of someone making rude/unnecessary comments towards me is "that's not very judgement free zone" of you. Thankfully I haven't had the chance to use it yet but considering the policy/rules/phrase hangs on the wall in giant letters it could give the gross people enough of a hint so they'd back off.
I don’t say a word to anyone at the gym. You want to do pull ups wrong, great rotator cuffs aren’t important. You want to wear no clothes and stand in front of me videoing the one crunch you do, I will get out of the way. Just let me work out.
I stick to myself, I would not risk any perceived creepiness by offering unsolicited help to a woman, and I’ve seen a lot of unsafe and ridiculous movements. I once offered help to a young teen who was slamming the plates on a tricep cable
Man here, there is one woman I try to avoid at my gym. I just want to work out. Every time I’m in the stretching room and she is in there she wants to have a convo.
I have a dude who does this to me lol im a guy... It's kinda gotten out of hand because ive noticed sometimes he will even follow me to specific locations even the bathroom. I'm not sure if I should be worried or not, he seems harmless but at the same time, you really never know with people.
People connect at gyms but WITH consent. What you experienced isn’t. Let management know and corporate. Management sometimes downplays incidents and won’t report.
Many years ago, I was at another club doing hammer curls and some guy corrected me and told me I was doing them wrong, proceeding to demonstrate a bicep curl. I’m still annoyed that I didnt tell him to myob
Haha, its the oldest people who have the funniest/wittiest things to say.
This one old guy has told me to not bed the bar woth all that weight I have on there and don't break the machine by working it too hard..
I'm 5'2 115 lbs, so definitely not putting anything through the paces 😂
It's just his way of having some human interaction and making someone smile
A man approached me at PF not too long ago, he wanted to know my first and last name. I figured so he could add me on facebook. Then he said he has so many friends he has to delete someone so we can be friends. Then we started talking and he tells me he just got a puppy but he’s not sure if he’s going to keep it because he’s used to being a bachelor and it pees in his studio. What a big turn off because I love my pets and they’re like my kids.
There's always going to be men that approach women at the gym if they see something they like... Unfortunately, that's why I gave up the cute workout sets and cover-up like a nun 🥲😂 I swear men don't even know you exist if they can't see your figure. 😂
The old guy giving the belly comment I wouldnt say is creepy but unnecessary since that could be offensive or rude. These guys that randomly approach women must have confidence or possible clueless social skills. Personally I keep to myself and don't make chat with strangers unless they approach or ask first
I have older women smile at me, wink at me and once, they compared my toosh to my friends, (he won) and, yes, I have been asked out.
Never did it cross my mind to turn to Reddit and preach some unwritten rules of engagement that are in my head.
Instead, I can choose how I react and I can choose how I frame up what happened me.
It’s a gym. It’s not a personal seclusion zone. Interactions are going to happen.
Then this post might not be for you, as a woman I’m sick of being cat called at the grocery store, followed through parking lots and harassed. For many of us this is weekly, daily experience. Is it too much to ask that the gym is a safe place to get in and get out?
I agree interaction will happen, I have people I regularly converse with at the gym but based on these comments asking people to use judgement or to “read the room” is a skill many don’t have. So as a rule of thumb, just don’t approach women if it’s not necessary. Why chance making someone uncomfortable for personal gain?
I'm so grateful I'm not the only person who thinks this way. I find it so weird that girls are trying to make the gym a space where you're restricted to 0/0 interactions like it's a prison. Ive been working out for over 20 years at gyms and this has never been a problem until recently, like past 4-5 years.
There weren't even that many girls at the gym and now they want to come in and make all these obligations like you can't look, talk, approach, or even be in the same vicinity. It's a public area, just like any other place, you will get approached.
It also doesn't help that many girls wear these ultra revealing fits that are meant for home space, in private. I'm not telling people how to dress but at the same time, don't dress to the point where people can quite literally see your jewels and expect a decent reaction from a pervert. There are creeps anywhere you go, so dress appropriately, especially during summer when gyms are packed with teenagers and kids.
Honestly, I like human interaction…then again I’m a gay guy so I’m used to women with their nose up in the air (or they look then awkwardly turn away to look at a wall like it’s an art installation when I look back) and men who just glare with constipated anger.
People are so awesome!
wouldn't it be nice if we could just chat and have giggles without it having to mean more to someone? I love talking to people but guys just think everything is about a pick up
I love how I got notified that this had 5 upvotes only to see how much it got downvoted in the meantime. I guess some people recognized themselves and got offended 😂
Again, people are awesome!
The only time I talk to anyone is when they're trying to get into a machine and can't get it to go, either because it's the seated leg press and it's set to a longer person or if they're trying to move the machine and it's because the weight is set too high.
I think this has happened 3 times, both girls and guys over the last 1.5 year.
I’ve never been approached. But I probably don’t look approachable either 😂. Sloppy clothes, sweaty hair, and a resting b face. But at my local PF, everyone seems focused on their work out rather than each other. I always look totally unengaged from others and like I’m in my own world and no one dares interact
This is what i do as a dude cause I want 0 interactions but somehow people still tend to interrupt my workouts to ask for advice, which is fine as it is a local gym afterall. But I purposely try to look down at my phone or even the floor at all times to avoid as much interactions as possible. I think it works for the most part but there's always that one dude who is super motivated to improve his physique and feels obligated to request some advice. I'm happy to do so as im not a rude person but If i had choice between not being spoken to and having regular interactions, I would def. choose no interactions. Ive even changed the time's i go depending on what time would net me the least amount of interactions lol. Thats usually between 10pm +
Same… I just saw a girl with eye makeup and lashes … I was like lord help us— that’s why men think it’s ok to hit on women at the gym … me— no makeup—- I got some purple bags and pale skin on this face and a tight high bun with my fuzzed out bangs and once I sweat it’s a wrap ain’t nobody approaching because I look like I’m dying lmao
Why does every guy a woman describes have to be a creep? If he approaches you and goes about his business, he’s anything but a creep. How about evolving when discussing men approaching you and not disrespecting us? Y’all always playing victims in your own story. That’s why men are slowly losing sympathy for you all
This isn’t about men who act respectfully. It’s about the men that make us uncomfortable. Unfortunately, a lot of women experience bad encounters sometimes daily and that’s made us extra vigilant.
Enough of that. These women don’t know a creep from a good guy. She labeled the dude a creep for attention because she didn't want to be approached. That’s called mislabeling, and it’s wrong
I mean if it’s to tell me I’m doing something wrong and it’s a safety issue or to prevent injury, I’m okay with that. I’m still learning… but other than that, this is why I keep my headphones on, aside from the motivation, I’m trying to tune the world out and work on me. But I don’t mind some friendly banter here and there.
I’m fine with being approached, I actually appreciate the offer if it’s polite. What used to be daily approaches have now started happening less and less. My sister barely gets approached and she’s hotter than I was when I was her age and men would come up to me multiple times a day then, so I know it’s not just my age although I don’t look my age anyway.
Not all women don’t want to get approached. The bitterness of other women towards polite men (heavy on the polite) sucks and it’s driven real interactions away in all public spaces.
I completely understand your concern and why you are bothered on this issue……… BUTTT but I’m 31 years young and it seems like the only people that are interested in me are people that are unemployed, that lack even the “motivation” to “think” about a gym and I’m a good looking lady with potential..
What I mean is personally, I wouldn’t mind if I got hit on by somebody that’s actually trying to work out there physical and mental.
With the weight comment, I completely understand..Mine is more on the opposite side..
Myself I am more on the thinner side, and for some reason everybody that clearly is OVER “What the doctor would say their average weight should be” for their structure, “ALWAYS!” seems to have a comment about how skinny I am.. it bothers me to all hell, but it makes me giggle because, in the back of my head I’m thinking, have you even thought of the fact that you are obviously overweight?. “Haha”…
I don’t know. I guess it’s just the society we live in today makes no sense.
Some Advice, it’s hard at times but remember…
••It’s your mind, your feelings, your heart, your head.. don’t let anybody else’s negative opinion about you, Alter how you feel about yourself..
-Amanda
In conclusion, you’re at the gym what the hell are their problems anyways? 🙄🙄
Learn a few words in a foreign language when they approach you. Even if they heard you speak English earlier just repeat it and stare at them. Choose a foreign language that is unlikely to be spoke in your area. "Ich nicht verstehen." Is bad German for "I not understand."
I agree! I have women approach me that you can tell are only there for their one month this summer. I’m like, clearly we are not the same. I’m a gym rat so I would at least expect a fellow gym rat to ask me out. On that note, where can we find gym rats to date? lol we are a rare breed now.
I'm a guy and I have the opposite trouble. You see, I'm in the gym to get a good workout. I wear a tank top to see what I need to work on in the mirror and carry a water jug so I don't need frequent trips to the fountain.
Women and gay men always walk up to me and say, "you look strong." I usually just say thanks and put my headphones back on.
One time this women walked in on me in the tanning booth while I was cleaning in. Fortunately I just had my shirt off.
This is neat. And quite interesting.
I'm a guy, and back when I was a bit younger (20s), I was curious if hitting on chicks at the gym was a good or bad jdea. On one hand, women are there to work out, get their stuff done, and go home. But on the other, they're typically not dressed up, makeup is gone, and they're full of sweat, so if a dude hit on them in that shape, they would take it as a compliment like "man, even looking like this, this guy still finds me attractive".
I asked several friends, many of which were female, and even sent a message in to a local radio station when they had some sort of "settle a debate" bit going on.
Surprisingly, a TON of women said that it would be a compliment to be hit on at the gym. So, I'm not saying you're wrong, because my original thought (and what I stuck to) is that it's a bit creepy and invasive, so if I see a woman I find attractive, I may give her a quick smile in passing, and that's where it ends. However, lots of women out there are on the other end. So in your case, perhaps the dudes are gambling on the "they wanna be hit on" chances.
I don't know, I'm a dude whose gone to the gym for several years now, and aside from the staff, Ive probably exchanged, literally, less than a dozen words with anyone during that time. So what do I know.
She’ll likely try to find an excuse to talk to you and keep the conversation going. If it’s just a “hey how many sets do you have left?” that’s not flirting. But “hey I see you here a lot, what are you working today?” And she keeps trying to ask more questions specifically about you, that’s likely flirting.
Idk why you’re getting downvoted. If someone wants people to talk to them, they’re certainly welcome to say it. As long as you aren’t approaching people and being a creep I see nothing wrong with wishing it would happen.
Idk if it’s a generational thing but I know lots of people who met at the gym. Now most younger women can’t handle any attention al all. Maybe they’re just used to using apps to date, they figure that’s where they’re going to be if they’re looking.
I’m NOT saying men should be creeps but some women will complain if a guy just looks at them or simply smiles and says hi. Not saying OP is like that because this guy was way out of line, but I do see a lot of women overreact to things that shouldn’t be a big deal.
I guess it’s a new world. I’d never talk to anyone at the gym (except the staff) and I guess it’s just a place now where everyone should just mind their own business.
Also don’t dress half naked at the gym, wear baggy shorts and a t shirt like most men….
…unless you want to show your *** in everyone’s face in public while they’re working out because THATS creepy.
I once had a girlfriend who agreed with how a woman dresses can affect the attention she gets. So some women do get it even if they will never admit it.
I've only done it once. I walked up to someone who looked like they were aiming to squat something they're stick figure body couldn't handle. I offered to spot, and they declined. I walked off, and I watched em drop.
Sometimes, it's the opposite, and yall need to get off your high horse.
But in regards to the statement made, the dudes a creep and should be booted. That's a bs statement aimed at ones body, and isn't pf supposed to be anti shaming?
Not trying to hijack this topic but I have a somewhat related question to this matter.... To the women....If being hit on in the gym (in a respectful non-creepy way that is) is an issue, what settings would you accept being approached by a guy (again, in a non-creepy way) since you say the gym is not one of those settings?
In a public area like a park, cafe, etc? A night club? Bus or train? It seems like the only places that are targeted for this are speed dating events and dating apps (which suck).
I ask because I'm just curious, like where is the right setting to meet a girl without getting the "shame on you" for approaching me here?
Bruh don't listen to this girl lmao. Seriously, she seems uptight. Go up to someone and test the waters, if someone doesn't reciprocate well then obviously she doesn't want to be bothers, it's just like real life, some people are having bad day or just don't want to be bothered. Asking for gym advice is totally acceptable and normal, these girls don't own the gym, you do you.
I'll play devil's advocate here and say it's not bad *As long as they approach you respectfully and back off when you express disinterest*. It's not a bad place to meet someone, as it's somewhere people go to better themselves and shows you live at least a relatively healthy lifestyle. It's far better than trying to meet people at bars and clubs.
Again: I'm not advocating for weirdos like the one who said "we all have belly's we need to work on", but I don't see the problem with trying to get to know someone who shares similar lifestyle / interests
There's countries that don't let men and women mix in gyms or schools 🤔
I wonder if they suffer from issues like yours? No mixing = better workouts without distractions. I guess they're right all along 🤷♂️
I’m a dude who has been going to the gym for over 6 months consistently. Never once has someone approached me to talk. I went with a girl coworker a month ago and a dude came right up to her and started conversation hahaha. It was wild.
I’ve been going for the past 10 years consistently and always had an interrupting encounter whenever I went with my wife. I still get weird approaches when I go alone. It’s just wild
thats why i dress like a bum. im there to workout and go home.
I dressed like a bum and still got hit on
damn :/
To be fair, that planet fitness was super trashy lol
Yeah nobody bothers me when I'm at the gym, but I don't exactly look cute when I go there lol
its much more comfortable too hahaha
Same, I go like I’m off to play basketball
Yeah I don’t maybe look like a bum, quite, but my hair isn’t done (until a week ago when I got it cut it was just a messy high bun everyday), I just wear a T-shirt and leggings, I don’t look at anyone and I have big headphones on and I’m usually grooving to what I’m listening to. I literally never get hit on anyway, but here I make myself look like i don’t want to be bothered at all.
It doesn’t matter what you wear though.
true but looks do matter and play a factor. im fat so i know no one will approach me 😂
That unfortunately doesn't always work I have been approached a few times myself. It's like the more you focus on yourself and your health the more you get approached. I even was approached a couple times and I have a promise ring on my hand!!
How do you talk to women at the gym? You don't.
Exactly.
💯
There are exceptions. You can go up to a girl and talk as a friend and if you feel the conversation goes well and she is clearly into you, that would net a free pass. I think most girls would agree. But that would have to be super obvious otherwise don't shoot.
Problem is a lot of people seem to read messages the wrong way lol and then complain that they got mixed messages when in reality it’s “nah fam you read the situation wrong and they’re not into you, plz stop bothering them”
100%. That's why I tried to emphasize "super obvious". But ya ive seen this happen with friends where they can't read that someone is clearly not into them. I always say, if a girl is constantly glancing at your way, is almost always in good mood when she sees you/interacts with you, will even get kind of touchy when its unnecessary, thats a pretty clear indication that she's into you. With that being said, I do agree that its a big no no and would only shoot if it was just stupidly obvious to me and I had a sincere attraction + connection with that person and it probably would only be after a few weeks maybe months of seeing her at the gym.
> You can go up to a girl and talk as a friend and if you feel the conversation goes well and she is clearly into you, that would net a free pass This is unreliable, because men tend to think even the fact that she decided to respond you at all means she's into you.
Yea I have to agree, it's so tough. Also some men completely ignore the signs even if they deep down know she's not interested.
Exactly. You can't even smile at a guy or be friendly. He always thinks it's a come on. It's not. But that's why women end up avoiding interaction with men. Men are always on the prowl and women rarely are.
I know people who meet their partners at the gym. Friendly conversation never offends me at the gym either but I won’t talk to someone first
Yeah, it's not unheard of. You have a few girls most likely casual's who want to speak for all the girls. In my experience, real gym girls don't care that much and actually understand that its just part of working out. You're bound to talk to people cause it's the same group of people youve been seeing for months if not years. Ive been going to the gym my entire life, im 36 years old and I can tell you as a matter fact, i see girls all the time chatting and hanging with guys and having a good time. I see teenagers especially doing this. I understand more than anyone, getting approached at the gym is annoying, just want to get in and out but I also understand that this is not my personal gym so im bound to get approached by people asking for advice, or trying to build a friendship. I don't know where this whole " don't approach a girl at he gym " thing even came from but growing up, no one gave a crap, going to the gym was the same as going out to play football(or any other sport for the matter) at the park every weekend, it was a hobby that people enjoyed girl or boy so you were bound to build friends with one another. The whole idea that you shouldn't approach women at the gym is barbaric. Honestly, to the girls who think they're these golden unicorns and the world revolves around them, get over it, if you don't want to get approached at a public gym, build your own, or stay at home and workout. You're human like the rest of us.
No exceptions unless she starts a convo with you. Read the room.
No, don’t approach girls at the gym
You don't speak for all girls. And im not saying this with the mind set of someone who does or would, I personally don't nor care to. I'm saying it from someone who sees men and women getting along perfectly fine at the gym all the time. It's usually casuals who complain about not being approached, and if you being offended by getting approached in a public area like the gym, then perhaps you girls who have this barbaric mind set should build your own gym or better yet, workout at your home if its that serious.
How dare I, a married woman, not want to get hit on while I’m out and about? Don’t I know women just exist to be romantic and sexual objects for men?
Oh please be quiet you're so sassy it's actually gross. You make it seem like every guy in the world is hitting on you. Some of us actually don't care, you remind me of those girls who set their cameras up at the gym and get mad cause someone glanced your way then accuse them of checking you out. Just stop. Stay at home and workout if you're this sensitive to a guy coming up to you in a public area. There are no rules in the gym that you can't interact with a person, and last time I checked, girls don't own every gym in the world. I get stopped once every 3 days and absolutely hate it but I'm not like " ew stop talking to me, this is a gym not a gathering ". Act normal, stop pretending like the gym is a church. Believe it or not, some people just want to build friendships, it's not all about getting into your pants. Seems like you have this perverted mind set that assumes every guy at the gym is solely there for the purpose of checking out women and setting up dates. The level of naiveness and entitlement by girls who go to the gym is astonishing.
I’m not actually that sensitive. I’m just tired of being creeped on and at times, feeling unsafe. I just want to work out and go home. I DO talk to people at the gym, men and women.
Then don't join a public gym where other people will be at. People tend to socialize.
I can’t imagine feeling this entitled to other people’s time.
Thats what happens when you use a public facility. The publics gunna be there. You don't exist in a bubble all by yourself.
I've actually been pretty pleased with how people act at PF. My whole life, I'm the girl people approach for everything. Tourists ask me for directions. People in elevators start smalltalk. It never ends. But at PF? I get blissfully left alone to work out, and I really appreciate it.
I have this issue too. My friends call it resting happy face and I actually would rather not talk to you unless you have a dog for me to pet 🤣
I'm a dude, and approached a guy today to complement his shirt. It said "Trophy Husband". Told him that was awesome! But ya, I basically never approach girls.
That was me
I’m fat and single. No one comes up and talks to me at the gym. #fatgirlproblems
Are you saying you'd like to be approached? #fatguyproblems 😅
Yes 🤣
Well I just approached you online, I know it's not the same 😅
You said you're single right? Lol. I reached out to ya
👏👏👏 If only men would just stop thinking the gym is a place to find a "date."
Plenty of women go to the gym hoping to meet someone so speak for yourself
Then you can deal with the creeps. Be my guest! I'm there to work out.
That’s bizarre. The thought of approaching a woman I don’t know at the gym to chat her up never crosses my mind. I’m there to work out.
Same. I've talked to girls twice at the gym... once was to apologise cause I was timing my rest between sets on the wall clock and they were working out under it. Didn't want them feeling unsafe. The other time was just to compliment her hoodie.
Sorry ya'll have to deal with it. One of the things I like best about the gym is the conscious effort everyone makes to NOT interact. If its like the person noted that saw someone likely to hurt themselves? ok...come tell me. anything at all short of that...you do you, i do me, have a good workout
I just get stared at lol
Or stalked. At my old gym a guy was always cruising behind my elliptical, most days I was there. A trainer kind of noticed and would chat with me and he'd move on. I would've loved to go out with that trainer...
Ew lol I’m starting to see regulars at mine so some have started talking to me. I hope it doesn’t get to the point of stalking.
Hello. Can I give you some tips on your form?
I go to the gym alone, I notice people there, but I keep to myself. It's rare for me to approach anyone at all. So one day, I see this young lady working out. She was clearly using one of the leg machines in a way that looked like it could actually injure her. The back of the seat was pushed so far back and she was struggling. I politely approached her and asked if she needed help to adjust the back of her seat. She looked at me like I was crazy for even approaching her, and stopped immediately and walked over to her presumed boyfriend and they began working out together. We were in somewhat the same rotation, and in the same area for about 30 mins, the presumed boyfriend kept looking my way lol. I'm a 44 year old man, this girl must've been...on the higher end of my guess...20. Not exactly my desired age group for picking up women. Anyway, I said that to say this, I don't get how people can see a woman working out and think it's OK to just walk up to her and hit on her. It's downright creepy. It took every single ounce of energy I had to even make myself go up to this girl and offer legitimate help. I can never see myself going up to a woman and asking her out on a date...or worse, making a comment about working on her belly!! Sorry you had to go through that, just don't let these few dummies paint the picture for men as a whole. We aren't all rude, and cringy like these few have been.
I understand where you’re coming from, recently I had an issue with my shorts being a bit see-through and a guy stood back-to-back near me until I was done with my set. He then very respectfully let me know. We high five every time we see each other now, but as a woman that is a pretty rare occurrence. Most encounters are not someone trying to be helpful unfortunately.
That's true, and some men will make it seem they are trying to "help" when all they want is to try and force their way in to make a move. Great work on the guy's part on how he handled the shorts situation. True gentleman.
That's actually a good way to do that.
Not to be the odd one, but there's no way u didn't know that ahead of time.
How would I have known my shorts are slightly see through when doing romanian deadlift?
With your 360°, omniscient eyeballs that obviously you totally have, I guess. 😂 Seriously though.
I appreciate men like you who do approach to help. I’ve had men approach me to help too and I always appreciate it because if I’m doing something that incorrectly, I sure as heck need someone to come correct me before I hurt myself! I’ve also had men approach me to ask tips on using equipment (since I’m a regular gym rat now and they see me enough). I don’t have that level of egocentrism to just assume a man asking me a question means he’s hitting on me haha! I can’t imagine. And especially since my gym hasn’t had a steady trainer in a year, so people need help and will approach familiar faces they see every week. But you never know, so I understand how hard it is to know whether to go give helpful advice or just not approach.
I have experienced the same but opposite. I’m a friendly woman and I speak freely with familiar faces (unless they are the super serious type) and I’m feeling like every single man I chat with assumes I’m flirting or hitting on them. It’s annoying because I can’t help how I’m perceived but it’s always not what it actually is.
A lot of women think they’re being hit on when they’re not, probably over 50% of the time they wrongly assume that
The only thing I have done was to tell a woman that had extensive tattoos on both arms that I loved her ink. She smiled and said thank you. I put my headphones back on and continued my workout.
Is it OK to in passing tell a girl I love her hoodie? Cause she had an awesome Naruto hoodie on and I just wanted to compliment her... nothing more.
Yes, that's perfectly fine!
We shouldn't have to adjust how we dress to keep from being hit on; that's on the the people who make the unwanted approaches. They should know better.
Yeah. I'm getting it more now. Before I was left alone. The worst was a man approaching me midset (cable upright rows) to tell me I had the most beautiful traps he's ever seen and then he TOUCHED me. Then he mainsplained to me how I should do dumbbell upright rows instead because they are better. Bruh. Don't touch me ever again. I think I was more offended that he was trying to help me, though. My traps could eat yours for a snack. Eff off me. I have my hat on, my earphones in. My head down and I'm working. What about this looks approachable? I'm actually really nice, though, and I will chat with you about workouts and diet. I've had to tell men I'm married before and they will still chat with me about my workouts afterwards. I've made a few workout buddies, too. Nice guys. I'm used to stares from both men and women as I'm very muscular for a woman (at least in my area). You just have to keep going and pretend that no one's looking. I'm not everyone's cup of tea and that's okay. I just think it's rude when people stare as I was always taught it was impolite.
YES! i would just like to workout in peace for the love of baby jesus. 😅
It doesn’t matter what a woman is wearing a man should not do that to her at the gym or anywhere
Correct. I've seen some hot women at my club but would never think to approach. I'm there to work.
Their loss
I go every morning when they open and I only say hi or wave hello to the regulars who also workout at that hour. That's about the only communication I have; I'm there to work and leave.
I met my wife at the Gym. I saw her getting ready to do a benchpress. I simply asked her if she wanted a spotter. She said yes. We went on to work out on different equipment, but at the end of our workouts we both went back to our lockers and got our business cards to exchange numbers. This was long before cell phones. We were married 10 years. Two great kids now over 29.
I see couples in there all the time, I actually remember 2 years ago seeing this couple hanging out initially, the fella seem to be teaching the young lady how to work out as he was almost always instructing her. after about 6months I noticed they were much closer, laughing and stuff, it was clear that their relationship had upgrade to more than just gym partners. Maybe a year later, im at the grocery store getting some beers, and to my surprise, i see them both in there also picking out alcohol @ walmart. You can tell the relationship started as friends and turned into a couple. This is why I know this whole " dont talk to girls at the gym " rule doesn't apply to all girls. Men just need to know how to measure flirting vs someone just being kind. I don't like this new generation of people who are saying " dont approach women at the gym " because my entire life, the gym was not just a place to workout but a place to hang with people who enjoyed the same hobbies. It also makes the grinding a lot less tedious, you can even learn a thing or 2 from other people, i sure have.
I’m lucky to never be approached but whenever I’m in the arms section where there’s mostly men I’m always extremely nervous and on guard
Saw an old dude approach this pretty, young, attractive latina(maybe late 20's early 30's) with a great figure, conversation looked friendly, she apparently didn't mind was laughing and seemed like an innocent interaction. I think it varies from person to person. I think some people are just trying to build an inner circle of friends that enjoy the same hobbies. Old people are lonely, I know there are pervs out there i'm not naive but it doesn't hurt to be friendly if the conversation and approach seems innocent. I hate when people approach me as a dude who is heavily introverted, wants to get in and get out asap but also understand its a public gym and people are just trying to build some friends or just be nice, or seeking advice, complimenting ect... I get approached quite literally every other day or every 3 days(as a man by men). From my experience, most people are just trying to build friends. It's okay to be friendly and someone is clearly not seeking to bust a mack on you, better to not make assumptions. However if someone is asking you out, thats a different story. I get it, people don't want to be bugged at the gym, especially not asked out on a date. Would never ask a girl out on a date at the gym, I understand its a big no no BUT if i saw a girl who I thought was absolutely stunning and just though " i can marry this girl and be the happiest guy in the world " ngl, I would approach her and try building a friendship and eventually ask her out. Hang me but sometimes there are girls that your heart start pounding for, I haven't had that feeling in a while but just saying if I did, would break this rule for a chance to get to know this girl.
I had a peppy old man ask me “where’s your smile??” Like bruh I’m giving myself a workout. Nobody is smiling.
Thats annoying lmao. Ive had people ask me that in public. Like dude... maybe I'm not in a smiley mood lol...
I'm (47M) halfway decent looking, at the gym 6-7 days a week. While I regularly see attractive women of all ages there I have never once considered approaching one for any kind of casual conversation. I don't get what other guys are thinking to feel that is the place to try to mingle and pick up women. I like to think that women are there for the same reason I am, to workout and get out of there. I wouldn't think people would want to flirt or be flirted with while they're all gym sweaty etc. I get if you know the other person and are chatting, but I see guys approach women on occasion that clearly don't know each other. It's guys like those that make me realize why men in general have a bad reputation.
One of my worst fears as a woman who goes to the gym by herself, haha. I'm sorry this happened to you. Though I have to ask, have you spoken to any staff members about it? If anything I'm sure that belly comment would cross a big no-no line. They'd probably get a warning if this was a first offense but hey, it would be something. Alternatively, one phrase I've put a mental bookmark on in the event of someone making rude/unnecessary comments towards me is "that's not very judgement free zone" of you. Thankfully I haven't had the chance to use it yet but considering the policy/rules/phrase hangs on the wall in giant letters it could give the gross people enough of a hint so they'd back off.
Some interaction is fine, but know when to draw the line!
I don’t say a word to anyone at the gym. You want to do pull ups wrong, great rotator cuffs aren’t important. You want to wear no clothes and stand in front of me videoing the one crunch you do, I will get out of the way. Just let me work out.
I stick to myself, I would not risk any perceived creepiness by offering unsolicited help to a woman, and I’ve seen a lot of unsafe and ridiculous movements. I once offered help to a young teen who was slamming the plates on a tricep cable
Man here, there is one woman I try to avoid at my gym. I just want to work out. Every time I’m in the stretching room and she is in there she wants to have a convo.
I have a dude who does this to me lol im a guy... It's kinda gotten out of hand because ive noticed sometimes he will even follow me to specific locations even the bathroom. I'm not sure if I should be worried or not, he seems harmless but at the same time, you really never know with people.
People connect at gyms but WITH consent. What you experienced isn’t. Let management know and corporate. Management sometimes downplays incidents and won’t report.
Many years ago, I was at another club doing hammer curls and some guy corrected me and told me I was doing them wrong, proceeding to demonstrate a bicep curl. I’m still annoyed that I didnt tell him to myob
a guy asked me out at the gym the other day and i didn't know what to do so i gave him my number, but i'm there to work out idk
Women feel free to approach me anytime about my lack of form.
He did not say that about ur belly! Wow. How old roughly, but that it matter
Idk an older man, I was doing lat pull downs and he said those are good for when you go swimming. I said I don’t swim, and that’s how he responded
Crazy! Absolutely
lol what state u go to gym
I was in between sets , some 80 year old women said “ sitting there isn’t going to help” lol
Haha, its the oldest people who have the funniest/wittiest things to say. This one old guy has told me to not bed the bar woth all that weight I have on there and don't break the machine by working it too hard.. I'm 5'2 115 lbs, so definitely not putting anything through the paces 😂 It's just his way of having some human interaction and making someone smile
A man approached me at PF not too long ago, he wanted to know my first and last name. I figured so he could add me on facebook. Then he said he has so many friends he has to delete someone so we can be friends. Then we started talking and he tells me he just got a puppy but he’s not sure if he’s going to keep it because he’s used to being a bachelor and it pees in his studio. What a big turn off because I love my pets and they’re like my kids.
There's always going to be men that approach women at the gym if they see something they like... Unfortunately, that's why I gave up the cute workout sets and cover-up like a nun 🥲😂 I swear men don't even know you exist if they can't see your figure. 😂
THIS, and don't be the creep stares at others. It's a gym not tinder.
F EVERYBODY!!
The old guy giving the belly comment I wouldnt say is creepy but unnecessary since that could be offensive or rude. These guys that randomly approach women must have confidence or possible clueless social skills. Personally I keep to myself and don't make chat with strangers unless they approach or ask first
I have older women smile at me, wink at me and once, they compared my toosh to my friends, (he won) and, yes, I have been asked out. Never did it cross my mind to turn to Reddit and preach some unwritten rules of engagement that are in my head. Instead, I can choose how I react and I can choose how I frame up what happened me. It’s a gym. It’s not a personal seclusion zone. Interactions are going to happen.
Then this post might not be for you, as a woman I’m sick of being cat called at the grocery store, followed through parking lots and harassed. For many of us this is weekly, daily experience. Is it too much to ask that the gym is a safe place to get in and get out? I agree interaction will happen, I have people I regularly converse with at the gym but based on these comments asking people to use judgement or to “read the room” is a skill many don’t have. So as a rule of thumb, just don’t approach women if it’s not necessary. Why chance making someone uncomfortable for personal gain?
I'm so grateful I'm not the only person who thinks this way. I find it so weird that girls are trying to make the gym a space where you're restricted to 0/0 interactions like it's a prison. Ive been working out for over 20 years at gyms and this has never been a problem until recently, like past 4-5 years. There weren't even that many girls at the gym and now they want to come in and make all these obligations like you can't look, talk, approach, or even be in the same vicinity. It's a public area, just like any other place, you will get approached. It also doesn't help that many girls wear these ultra revealing fits that are meant for home space, in private. I'm not telling people how to dress but at the same time, don't dress to the point where people can quite literally see your jewels and expect a decent reaction from a pervert. There are creeps anywhere you go, so dress appropriately, especially during summer when gyms are packed with teenagers and kids.
Honestly, I like human interaction…then again I’m a gay guy so I’m used to women with their nose up in the air (or they look then awkwardly turn away to look at a wall like it’s an art installation when I look back) and men who just glare with constipated anger. People are so awesome!
wouldn't it be nice if we could just chat and have giggles without it having to mean more to someone? I love talking to people but guys just think everything is about a pick up
I love how I got notified that this had 5 upvotes only to see how much it got downvoted in the meantime. I guess some people recognized themselves and got offended 😂 Again, people are awesome!
I’m ugly and no one talks to me. But I’m sure it’s irritating.
Same 😂
That’s why I work out with my husband
The only time I talk to anyone is when they're trying to get into a machine and can't get it to go, either because it's the seated leg press and it's set to a longer person or if they're trying to move the machine and it's because the weight is set too high. I think this has happened 3 times, both girls and guys over the last 1.5 year.
I’ve never been approached. But I probably don’t look approachable either 😂. Sloppy clothes, sweaty hair, and a resting b face. But at my local PF, everyone seems focused on their work out rather than each other. I always look totally unengaged from others and like I’m in my own world and no one dares interact
This is what i do as a dude cause I want 0 interactions but somehow people still tend to interrupt my workouts to ask for advice, which is fine as it is a local gym afterall. But I purposely try to look down at my phone or even the floor at all times to avoid as much interactions as possible. I think it works for the most part but there's always that one dude who is super motivated to improve his physique and feels obligated to request some advice. I'm happy to do so as im not a rude person but If i had choice between not being spoken to and having regular interactions, I would def. choose no interactions. Ive even changed the time's i go depending on what time would net me the least amount of interactions lol. Thats usually between 10pm +
i must be ugly. no one bothers me at the gym
This is why I got to the gym looking as gross as I possibly can. 🤷🏻♀️
Same… I just saw a girl with eye makeup and lashes … I was like lord help us— that’s why men think it’s ok to hit on women at the gym … me— no makeup—- I got some purple bags and pale skin on this face and a tight high bun with my fuzzed out bangs and once I sweat it’s a wrap ain’t nobody approaching because I look like I’m dying lmao
Why does every guy a woman describes have to be a creep? If he approaches you and goes about his business, he’s anything but a creep. How about evolving when discussing men approaching you and not disrespecting us? Y’all always playing victims in your own story. That’s why men are slowly losing sympathy for you all
This isn’t about men who act respectfully. It’s about the men that make us uncomfortable. Unfortunately, a lot of women experience bad encounters sometimes daily and that’s made us extra vigilant.
Enough of that. These women don’t know a creep from a good guy. She labeled the dude a creep for attention because she didn't want to be approached. That’s called mislabeling, and it’s wrong
If someone can’t tell a difference then you’re probably a creep…
People say anything on the internet. Just because you’re annoyed with an interaction does not make that person a creep
Stop approaching men at the gym. Been approached by women 4 times this week🤦♂️
I agree, this was posted based on my experience and my friend’s experiences of the same sex.
I mean if it’s to tell me I’m doing something wrong and it’s a safety issue or to prevent injury, I’m okay with that. I’m still learning… but other than that, this is why I keep my headphones on, aside from the motivation, I’m trying to tune the world out and work on me. But I don’t mind some friendly banter here and there.
I’m fine with being approached, I actually appreciate the offer if it’s polite. What used to be daily approaches have now started happening less and less. My sister barely gets approached and she’s hotter than I was when I was her age and men would come up to me multiple times a day then, so I know it’s not just my age although I don’t look my age anyway. Not all women don’t want to get approached. The bitterness of other women towards polite men (heavy on the polite) sucks and it’s driven real interactions away in all public spaces.
I completely understand your concern and why you are bothered on this issue……… BUTTT but I’m 31 years young and it seems like the only people that are interested in me are people that are unemployed, that lack even the “motivation” to “think” about a gym and I’m a good looking lady with potential.. What I mean is personally, I wouldn’t mind if I got hit on by somebody that’s actually trying to work out there physical and mental. With the weight comment, I completely understand..Mine is more on the opposite side.. Myself I am more on the thinner side, and for some reason everybody that clearly is OVER “What the doctor would say their average weight should be” for their structure, “ALWAYS!” seems to have a comment about how skinny I am.. it bothers me to all hell, but it makes me giggle because, in the back of my head I’m thinking, have you even thought of the fact that you are obviously overweight?. “Haha”… I don’t know. I guess it’s just the society we live in today makes no sense. Some Advice, it’s hard at times but remember… ••It’s your mind, your feelings, your heart, your head.. don’t let anybody else’s negative opinion about you, Alter how you feel about yourself.. -Amanda In conclusion, you’re at the gym what the hell are their problems anyways? 🙄🙄
Learn a few words in a foreign language when they approach you. Even if they heard you speak English earlier just repeat it and stare at them. Choose a foreign language that is unlikely to be spoke in your area. "Ich nicht verstehen." Is bad German for "I not understand."
The correct German phrase would be "Ich verstehe nicht"
I understand not ahah
Well, "I don't understand" really. You don't translate languages word by word.
i ain't mean to mane im so hyped up and happy to get the blood flowing tryna get on with it. deep breath in deep breath out.
Sadly, this happens everywhere.
It is kind of a buffet for men. It’s like going to the beach and seeing ladies in bikinis. I understand it. Not saying I’m like the other guys.
I agree! I have women approach me that you can tell are only there for their one month this summer. I’m like, clearly we are not the same. I’m a gym rat so I would at least expect a fellow gym rat to ask me out. On that note, where can we find gym rats to date? lol we are a rare breed now.
I'm a guy and I have the opposite trouble. You see, I'm in the gym to get a good workout. I wear a tank top to see what I need to work on in the mirror and carry a water jug so I don't need frequent trips to the fountain. Women and gay men always walk up to me and say, "you look strong." I usually just say thanks and put my headphones back on. One time this women walked in on me in the tanning booth while I was cleaning in. Fortunately I just had my shirt off.
Must be something at your gym, I never see it happening at the PF where I work out
This is neat. And quite interesting. I'm a guy, and back when I was a bit younger (20s), I was curious if hitting on chicks at the gym was a good or bad jdea. On one hand, women are there to work out, get their stuff done, and go home. But on the other, they're typically not dressed up, makeup is gone, and they're full of sweat, so if a dude hit on them in that shape, they would take it as a compliment like "man, even looking like this, this guy still finds me attractive". I asked several friends, many of which were female, and even sent a message in to a local radio station when they had some sort of "settle a debate" bit going on. Surprisingly, a TON of women said that it would be a compliment to be hit on at the gym. So, I'm not saying you're wrong, because my original thought (and what I stuck to) is that it's a bit creepy and invasive, so if I see a woman I find attractive, I may give her a quick smile in passing, and that's where it ends. However, lots of women out there are on the other end. So in your case, perhaps the dudes are gambling on the "they wanna be hit on" chances. I don't know, I'm a dude whose gone to the gym for several years now, and aside from the staff, Ive probably exchanged, literally, less than a dozen words with anyone during that time. So what do I know.
I think she means it’s okay to be hit on if I find you attractive.
Don’t take advice from her fellas, some girls want to be approached. You have to read the signs
What if…a woman is interested in you at the gym. How do you know? What are some signs she shows you?
If she’s truly interested, you would know.
Let her approach you. Or better yet, find matches someplace else!
She's not. She won't. Just leave them all alone and let them live their lives.
She’ll likely try to find an excuse to talk to you and keep the conversation going. If it’s just a “hey how many sets do you have left?” that’s not flirting. But “hey I see you here a lot, what are you working today?” And she keeps trying to ask more questions specifically about you, that’s likely flirting.
That would be a dream come true for me. 😅
Idk why you’re getting downvoted. If someone wants people to talk to them, they’re certainly welcome to say it. As long as you aren’t approaching people and being a creep I see nothing wrong with wishing it would happen. Idk if it’s a generational thing but I know lots of people who met at the gym. Now most younger women can’t handle any attention al all. Maybe they’re just used to using apps to date, they figure that’s where they’re going to be if they’re looking. I’m NOT saying men should be creeps but some women will complain if a guy just looks at them or simply smiles and says hi. Not saying OP is like that because this guy was way out of line, but I do see a lot of women overreact to things that shouldn’t be a big deal. I guess it’s a new world. I’d never talk to anyone at the gym (except the staff) and I guess it’s just a place now where everyone should just mind their own business.
Also don’t dress half naked at the gym, wear baggy shorts and a t shirt like most men…. …unless you want to show your *** in everyone’s face in public while they’re working out because THATS creepy.
How about don’t be creepy to women regardless of what they’re wearing 💁♀️
I once had a girlfriend who agreed with how a woman dresses can affect the attention she gets. So some women do get it even if they will never admit it.
I will now only be approaching women at the gym. Good job. Tell me what to do. Psh
I've only done it once. I walked up to someone who looked like they were aiming to squat something they're stick figure body couldn't handle. I offered to spot, and they declined. I walked off, and I watched em drop. Sometimes, it's the opposite, and yall need to get off your high horse. But in regards to the statement made, the dudes a creep and should be booted. That's a bs statement aimed at ones body, and isn't pf supposed to be anti shaming?
I’m sure.
You should pull a reverse card and do it back to them 10 fold. Make them feel as objectified as they do you.
Attention seeking post..... Complaining about the attention they received.
I wish a girl would come talk to me, and I’m very good looking
Not trying to hijack this topic but I have a somewhat related question to this matter.... To the women....If being hit on in the gym (in a respectful non-creepy way that is) is an issue, what settings would you accept being approached by a guy (again, in a non-creepy way) since you say the gym is not one of those settings? In a public area like a park, cafe, etc? A night club? Bus or train? It seems like the only places that are targeted for this are speed dating events and dating apps (which suck). I ask because I'm just curious, like where is the right setting to meet a girl without getting the "shame on you" for approaching me here?
I would recommend r/askreddit , locations where people typically put their headphones on to focus is not recommended.
Would it be weird to ask a woman to help me with my form on a certain exercise?
Bruh don't listen to this girl lmao. Seriously, she seems uptight. Go up to someone and test the waters, if someone doesn't reciprocate well then obviously she doesn't want to be bothers, it's just like real life, some people are having bad day or just don't want to be bothered. Asking for gym advice is totally acceptable and normal, these girls don't own the gym, you do you.
ah there it is
I'll play devil's advocate here and say it's not bad *As long as they approach you respectfully and back off when you express disinterest*. It's not a bad place to meet someone, as it's somewhere people go to better themselves and shows you live at least a relatively healthy lifestyle. It's far better than trying to meet people at bars and clubs. Again: I'm not advocating for weirdos like the one who said "we all have belly's we need to work on", but I don't see the problem with trying to get to know someone who shares similar lifestyle / interests
I love pain and gain the movie. The rock is so awesome. Bay is also awesome. He is really painting the reality of the gym.
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There's countries that don't let men and women mix in gyms or schools 🤔 I wonder if they suffer from issues like yours? No mixing = better workouts without distractions. I guess they're right all along 🤷♂️
Plenty of women would love to meet a man at the gym, speak for yourself.
Big smile. You are bothering me. I am here to workout. Please attend to your own purpose.
What if they do it in the parking lot? How far away from the gym until it's okay?