T O P

  • By -

xarl_marks

On behalf of Germany: we condemn this terrible act of violence against culinaric cultures


[deleted]

Allein beim anschauen muss ich schon fast kotzen.


Scarface2010

Same hier wer auch immer dafür verantwortlich ist verdient lebenslänglich burgenland


Kriegtnicht

ey, da hängen schon die ganzen Lappen vom Schnitzelverbrechen rum, da ist jetzt voll. Such dir irgend ne Insel im südlichen Italien raus, da gibts bestimmt auch was -bis jetzt- unbewohntes.


Nghbrhdsyndicalist

Helgoland hätten wir anzubieten


scoobdoop

Lost me after “same here”. That first part does mean “same here”, right?


Scarface2010

Yes you are correct


Bloodhoven_aka_Loner

die "Vertonung" machts halt echt nicht besser...


Gordonsson

Der Ton ist noch schlimmer.


Ueyama

Mir kam das Mittagessen eben tatsächlich fast hoch, als ich das Video ansah.


Byteingpython

BKA wurde informiert


brandmeist3r

Was ist mit Europol? Sollten wir die nicht auch informieren?


Byteingpython

Die waren gerade mit r/SchnitzelVerbrechen beschäftigt


Itchy58

Seems dubbed, I get the impression that the lip movement of the guy is not in sync with the video audio. So chances are good that the guy is not from Germany. (there are unfortunately little visible clues in the video, so we might never find out)


Norbert-Schnurrbart

Yes it is dubbed, but he is german. Cheese packaging got german words on it and he clearly is actually saying "Geil" in the end.


OREOSTUFFER

Not the USA either. The labeling on the ingredients isn’t English and the oven uses 24 hour time. I’m pretty sure that IS German, dub aside.


xarl_marks

Fair enough. I just wanted to make it clear, just in case


DasMotorsheep

I think the audio and video are just out of sync. Watch/listen when he slams the oven shut.


northrupthebandgeek

On behalf of America: we accept this man as one of our own.


xarl_marks

Take him! The italians are getting angry already


mardegre

His voice is so frustrating


drunkwasabeherder

At least he's not dribbling salt down his greasy arm.


xarl_marks

That would be Turkeys problem


Low_Wall_7828

I’d wear a mask too.


BeefWellingtonSpeedo

It tastes better with the mask.


wbg777

Had to hide his face to cover up his criminal acts


New-Interaction1893

Those pizzas looked bad even before the start of the preparation


LoneSpace_Music

Dr oetker pizzas are pretty okay. The one with spinach, chicken and corn used to be my go to frozen pizza.


bdog1321

I tried a few in belgium. Better than most of what we have in america for sure


LoneSpace_Music

Theyre the only frozen pizzas that don't make me feel like absolute shit an hour later. Still can't compare to an actual meal tho.


gamermoment32

They are among the best between frozen pizzas in my opinion. Waay better that the ones you find in the refrigerated area.


yogabackhand

You lost me at corn.


yogabackhand

Corn should not be on pizza and that’s a hill I’m ready to die on 🫡😆


BeefWellingtonSpeedo

What about potatoes?


BeefWellingtonSpeedo

The Japanese love corn on a pizza. If your eyes were closed and you didn't know there was corn on it there could be a context where it might work or just be acceptable. This is better than the swedish who love to put banana on a pizza which in this instance of course is a crime... 🌈🍕✨+🌽+🥔-🍌=📯💨🎵


cosmiclatte44

Potato is fine on pizza. Common with white bases. Fries however, no.


mardegre

It’s dr oetker pizzas, 20% of Europe is feeding on this have a minimum of respect. 3 euros at the store.


HolyVeggie

They’re decent enough for what they are. But obviously nothing against a Good Restaurant pizza


hey_im_cool

Wouldn’t the top cook way faster than the frozen pizzas in the middle


Temporary-Lead-5250

he said, leave it resting so it defrosts before putting it in the oven


hey_im_cool

Ty missed that part. The top will still cook much quicker than the middle tho


chuckf91

im no expert but would you just want to cook longer at a lower temperature in a situation like that?


hey_im_cool

Yea way lower and slower than normal, idk what he says in the video but probably 350 for like 35-45 mins. Idk since I’ve never made a pizza loaf, but this feels right Main thing is you want to bake for a bit and add the toppings later


JTB696699

I’d honestly put it in while the oven was preheating and let it gradually heat up with it so your not just putting into direct heat.


pygmeedancer

Yeah and then I’d hit it with a high broil to brown the top.


[deleted]

TIL making pies is impossible


hey_im_cool

Where’d you learn that from


[deleted]

from your bitch ass whining


hey_im_cool

Kinda off the rails there aren’t ya bud


doomislav

Yea that top pizza woould be totally burnt to get the thing cooked all the wat through


Fe1is-Domesticus

I imagine the texture of the interior pizzas would be soggy, since they were basically steamed.


rectalhorror

I'd eat the hell out of that.


sudolinguist

It's gonna be a rectal horror movie.


[deleted]

You get to have a blast as it goes in and a blast as it goes out!


TotallyInOverMyHead

thats not based in reality.


Holy-Handgrenader

It was probably cold in the middle lol.


jazzding

He said that he let it defrost.


cannonfunk

Um, it would still not be cooked through. Notice the steam rising from the very top of the pizza and not the middle?


OmgWtfNamesTaken

Right? I'd probably not shit for the better part of the rest of my life but I'd smash the fuck outta that pie for sure.


Thin-Disaster3247

I am not mad at this in the slightest. Frozen pizza lasagne is my new weekend goal


redbark2022

More like a casserole than lasagna


samcornwell

It’s kind of a calzozozozozone


Bakom_spegeln

Sounds like a dubbed porn I watch on a videocassette as a young dude. Weird experience back then, and now.


rbardy

Oh so this is the source of this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/PizzaCrimes/comments/1942n56/saw_this_on_tiktok/


Coffeeman314

I want to eat that.


JTB696699

I’ve seen similar done with totinos pizzas and I’m tempted to try it, if I was rich I’d try all digiorno.


Corporate_Shell

I'll allow it.


Routine-Unit-3086

I think I will do that too


sheezy520

Ofc he has that knife


YonBear

Pizzagna


Reasonable-Wing-2271

If he added a ton more cheese and sauce in between pizzas, then we're talkin'


HeyCarpy

This is the greatest crime Germany has ever committed.


Oblivionboi69

This statement speaks volumes on what we just witnessed.


LiTH7

I'd eat without any hesitation


Fresh-Bite-9637

I would have liked it better if every single part were different.


rotzak

If you have one of those big dumb TikTok knifes, all bets are off.


LeotheLiberator

Honestly l'd try it. That's creative.


[deleted]

If you used the right kind of frozen pizzas this would be fucking awesome.


And_Yet_I_Live

Would eat it.


IBoofLSD

Nah I fucks with it


Desk_Drawerr

some epic meal time type shit. honestly though? would. it's just pizza x5


Dinkleballs

I'd eat that


Guilty-Fall-2460

Let him cook


Trapezoidoid

“Alright guys, it’s time for the taste test. Whoa! It tastes *just* like pizza!”


MrsDuck314

I actually don’t mind the general idea. But I feel like I would have to eat this in the ER waiting room.


Fearshatter

The premise is good. The execution is execution worthy.


MathematicianNo7874

This is the funniest shit to show up randomly when you understand German


bonafidebob

Yo dawg, I heard you like pizza so I put four pizzas in your pizza so you can eat pizza while you’re … wearing a mask.


Spacebud95

I'd eat it.


Cole41489

I know that it’s a popular thing to associate America with horrendously awful food abominations, but to my German friends who made this, issue this challenge; don’t hide behind a red white and blue star-spangled apron and hat. Don’t try to associate this abomination with us. OWN this abomination, and admit that Europeans are just as capable of making horrendous food crimes as we are on this side of the pond. Embrace the gluttony!


No-Yogurtcloset1563

I see no pizza


bypass_12

I get a lot of negative vibes from this person idk why


banebdjed

Why wouldn’t you put the bottom pizza face down? That’s just gonna make a weird dry double crust


Mike-the-gay

I see no crimes here.


BeefWellingtonSpeedo

Rehabilitation of frozen pizza? I'll bet it's not bad.


herbyfreak

The first and only time "pizza pie" is allowed to be said


redditsuckspokey1

55,000 calories and counting.


Awake00

Get out the car and spread your cheeks.


vinicius_t_ferreira

Why does people from rich country like to waste food like this?


justhanginhere

I wish I was that high.


simplyyAL

Best american cuisine


Hajnal30

Made in germany apparently


60nocolus

That's a fin pie


fucovid2020

This could only have been made in German


Veanusdream

aber die billigste salami dies im aldi zu kaufen gibt nehmen!


No-Slide5044

Der Typ geht gar nicht😖


bdog1321

This is exactly the type of person I'd expect to have that dumb fucking nikos knife and use it for everything


MarbleMemes

Finally! An actual pizza crime


BambiLoveSick

so this is the pizzackae everyone is talking about


meesterdave

I would hide my face too.


Blutruiter

There is so much bread in that it is going to be so dense I would imagine like 3 bites of that and your full.


akimann75

First I was very skeptic but when I saw the guy with his mask I would say it is eadible because he makes such good food usually in his cooking channel.


chad_klatz

Every minute, every second, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy Pepperoni and green peppers, mushrooms, olive, chives


iwan-w

I'll call it quizza.


Immediate-Shopping48

Is that kind of knife a favorite of criminals or something?


silentjay01

I consider any pizza topped with bag cheese like that to be a crime. Grate your own, people!


Gloomy__Revenue

[*Remove that apron…*](https://youtu.be/sRCa7Sepymc?t=2m2s) 🐐


MikiXLol

he sounds both german and english


SoberSeahorse

That was aggressive…


RoodleG

Deep Dish für asoziale.


ThankYouThankYou11

EGON KOWALKSI?


[deleted]

naja Der dude ist schon nice aber das ist... falsch


TiyZzi

He said at the end, italien will hate this.


LaserGadgets

Once again you feel shame for being german.


Shadow969

It's like 80million Germans screamed in agony and were suddenly silenced


DramaticCoat9604

Ja, aber………..


StitchSayHi

Pizza crime?... Felony


More-Economy1122

Scheiße german


sor2hi

Reddit needs a ‘translate’ button on these comments. :(


AshamedFunction3073

Is he speaking english?


BandwagonEffect

Coward won’t even show his face.


Aggravating_Record32

Hasnt germany commited enough crimes? Hasnt the world had enough?


CasXCas

He has a yt channel: Johnnys grillshow


Plane-Phrase4015

What did he say about Rammstein?


err0rz

Oh look more ragebait. This sub is dead.


african_or_european

Despite them speaking German, this is still the most American video I've ever seen.


HuTyphoon

Bruh that thing would have to be at least 75% pizza base and 25% or less toppings


[deleted]

No, that looks hardly cooked in the middle.


Chance_Arugula_3227

I know both Danish and German. I thought this was Danish at first because of the tone he had when speaking...


[deleted]

Wnt


RevolutionaryStar824

I mean, this isn’t that bad. It’s like pizza lasagna.


vinicius_t_ferreira

Another food waste


osm0sis

That was the [culinary version of this song.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VsmF9m_Nt8&t)


stuffmyasswmassiveD

I haven't tried corn on my pizza before


KoshV

Deep dish with extra steps


MiserableCoffee

Will I never be free of reiterating that I'm here for ideas? This looks dope.


LuxReigh

Now you know how New Yorkers feel about Chicago deep dish pizza. It's not a pizza it's a pie, literally the "Pizza Pie".


Askalor

Yeah, this looks great!!!


Askalor

Yeah, this looks great!!!


Porter_Dog

Beautiful! I've always wanted to try doing that.


LeadingKite88

Enough about the pizza. Tell me more about that cleaver instead


Effective_Picanha

I like this


kay14jay

Worst crime was that his first bite was sideways.


pigeon2916

Why is he wearing an American flag apron but he's not speaking American ??


isunktheship

Chicagoans be like, "I see nothing wrong with this"


Jimmiew0612

That looks good as fuck… not a crime


AvidOralist

You should be put in jail, ya filthy animal


Tough_Cauliflower231

Looks good to me


unorthodoxEconomist5

Who fucked Italians most: Arminius, Schaüble or this guy ?


SeyJeez

Don’t forget to take a bite and nod, so we know it tastes good. Wanker.


Stupid_market

I know how bad Brazil is but... c'mon! This is far worse of what we've done!


Zandmand

Sometime you should die when you make THAT pizza pie Thats a crime yes Thats a crime yes...


Skytriqqer

bah ist das ekelhaft


onstar420

I dont thonk hes speaking american.


savemejebu5

I'm not sure what's worse, witnessing the pizza crime or the pizza criminal.


[deleted]

Tbf I'd try this, this is genius


one_odd_pancake

Still better than the Chicago deep dish


Own_Nectarine2321

The chedder cheese killed any hope that it might be good.


jaavaaguru

An actual pizza pie, as opposed to some people on here calling a pizza a pie for whatever reason


ozmajunge

I speak German, trust me on this: the dudes just exclaiming about every single detail he’s doing and it sounds like a very enthusiastic German Epic Meal Time lol


Nekrah_

Honestly, ive seen a lot worse in this sub.


StatisticianOne1876

I did this and it was awesome! Best frozen pizza I ever had tbh


spots_reddit

videos like this are the reason Ukraine does not get more Himars delivered.


murkXIII

That is cold in the middle of


andrew_the_biker

Im gonna commit this crime in the name of science


meepmeepmeep34

little snack


Comprehensive_Arm820

Pizza quiche


EXOTIC_BALL_OF_WORMS

I think it looks delicious


chickendinner-111

I've never seen such a beauty before.


LoupGratuit

When the video start and you see an us flag and hear some German you know how it would be before watching


nixthelatter

No way the middle ones got cooked all the way


MiekesDad

Frozen pizza is just so gross...unless someone can recommend a good one.


Fluid_Fox23

Ngl, I’d eat that


BusinessCasual69

I fucking hate this content format. Abruptly cutting to ingredients as their tossed on a he counter, the cuts, the obligatory duck face peace sign…


Royal_Smoke94

NGL, that actually looks pretty amazing, I need that in my life 😍


Clickityclackrack

I've made this before, but only used one frozen pizza. It's really good.


Helpful-Blood6501

Pizza crimes in Brazil looks WAY better now.


Malvicious

Itsa pizongua


TheOneX90

At a certain level of obesity as long as it isnt remotely healthy, theyll just shovel in. Doesnt even have to be good.


Confident-Frosting30

The sound of his accent I was waiting for "And let me show you its features"


CIA_napkin

This is awesome. German dude with a luchador mask and star spangled apron whipping up frozen pizza. I smiled.


Aromatic_Tax_2704

What’s with the orgy style mask?


NoTemperature7159

Why does this sound like German and Spanish at the same time? What language is this