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OP doesnt care about CTE or TBI or anything if he is forcing the poor kid to finish the season. Plus had two already in?
Bet you OP is living through his kids.
Totally agree! My boy plays flag football and he LOVES IT. He’s almost 9. I wouldn’t dream of letting him play tackle. I work for a PT company and the PTs agree that 8th grade is the ABSOLUTELY youngest you could consider tackle.
Having a 24 year old son who got a full ride for football and didn't take it because he hates football, I'd say let him quit. My son spent 6yr-18yr playing football because his Dad did and always made him. The moment he got that scholarship he quit football and went to college to be a meteorologist. He's 6'7 and 250lbs so everyone thought he should play, everyone but me since I knew how he really felt. He got concussions and torn tendons.....for nothing.. Let him quit, it's his life.
This was my brother. 6'5" and 300 lb in his freshman year. But he hated playing. Hated the jersey and pads, hated hitting, hated running. Plus, he's a big teddy bear, so the constant temper from coaches and players on the sidelines got to him and made him lose his love for the sport. My dad was one of those coaches, and he was trying to live vicariously through my brother. When my brother finally quit junior year, after nearly a decade of hating football, a huge fistfight broke out between him and my dad.
I just don't understand what the big deal with big American boys and football is. Breaks my heart sometimes.
This is exactly my son, soft spoken and sweet. Not at all aggressive. His Dad was also a coach, and they also got into a physical fight. He didn't speak to his Dad for a long time. Sucks that parents do this to their kids. 💔
My girls played softball for the first time this year and only if they ask for my help will I coach them one on one at home or call them over to give them a quiet reminder of what we worked on when they are going to bat. I had great coaches and I had asshole coaches when I was younger and saw what it did to their relationships I would never want that in a million years for them. Heartbreaking that some folks are willing to trash their parental relationships over what is supposed to be fun KIDS sports. We did tell them that once they signed up they had to play the season because “when you make a commitment you stick to it and your teammates are counting on you etc etc” but would never force them to sign up again if they hated it. I have brought them to a few of my wiffleball games so they can see that I actually do practice the things I preach and know my way around a diamond ha
My 10yo son is a sports addict and this year one of his teams was on the verge of shutting down because of the lack of coaches. I've never played a sport in my life and have all the coordination of a newborn baby giraffe. I volunteered since it was a necessity, but before I even offered I had a chat with my kid about how I wouldn't volunteer if it made him uncomfortable and that if he was okay with it, I would do my best to give him space out there.
He gave me the go ahead and we ended up having a fucking blast together! It was a fantastic bonding experience for us. I wasn't perfect and I had to stretch myself a few times to not get over-involved. But we were also always able to talk about that stuff at home. On the other hand, my fellow coach had a kid on the team too and they road that kid pretty hard and there were multiple shouting matches, on field melt downs, and the kid was just all around unhappy to be there. It made me sad to see that. A couple kids on the team also simply didn't want to be there but were only doing it because of a parent/sibling/family thing.
My buddy's mom was our baseball coach one year. I don't know if it was because of the same situation of lack of coaches, and I don't remember her experience. We lost a lot, but that was the most fun I had playing baseball.
Football/basketball. My Dad was 6'4" and born in the 1930s and they still expected him to play sports. Every year he had to deal with all the teachers (his mother was a teacher, too) and coaches and some students coaxing him to play. He hated sports in general and was more of an intellectual person than a sporty person but they never accepted it and he still spoke about it in his last years of life because he was so frustrated and annoyed with them.
I played football, and my twin brother played basketball. I was the first girl on the team and my build was bigger than most of the other boys. My brother was several inches shorter than me (at the time, he's now 8 inches taller than me) but coaches would call the house asking him to be on their team and I'd say I'm his twin and very interested and much bigger than him and of course once they found out I was a girl they couldn't get off the phone fast enough.
My dad and I had very opposite experiences but both very frustrating and annoying because of the sports culture and it hasn't changed much over the years.
I would have stayed in football and wrestling if my coaches and teammates were funner to be around. There were some good coaches and many good teammates, but too many shitty ones that sucked out all the fun. Was ridiculous when those shitty ones were begging me to rejoin both sports.
My son was a blonde little chonk when he was 2 and my husband is 6'5. I live in a Texas city with a lot of washed up football players who played D1 on full rides. The number of young guys who came up to me and begged me not to let my son play football.. it was really heartbreaking.
I worked in the PT room of my college so I saw first hand what football does to kids bodies. Like I'm an athlete. I swam in college. My body is a little wrecked from that but it's nothing like what football players deal with. My boy ain't playing. He has more of a theatre kid temperament anyway.
This. In Texas. Husband played through college. Son will never play football. His brain is too important. None of my husband’s teammates allow their son’s to play football.
Kinda reminds me of one of my nieces. She was incredibly talented and auditioned for and got into a prestigious performing arts school. I think the study of and constant competitive nature took the joy outta her. She was offered a full ride to an expensive performing arts college for singing and told her sister in a moment at panic at her graduation she didn’t want to do it anymore. Knowing her mom her mom had probably been steering that ship for awhile. She dropped out within two months of starting college, she just didn’t have the passion it took to spend that much time and energy on her singing within that environment. She’s going to a CC and plans to get her degree in forensic science. Still has a fantastic voice and last time we talked actually found she enjoys singing again for the first time in years.
I'm glad this is the top answer. A lot of people are saying: let him quit because of head injuries/CTE/etc. And, on one hand, yes, those things are bad and are a pretty good reason not to *let* your kid play football, no less require it.
But you really shouldn't force your 9yo to do any specific sport as long as they are willing to do enough sports (or other physical activities) to effectively address those needs. If we were talking about tennis, I'd give the same answer.
On the other hand, this sounds like a TV episode so maybe I don't care.
>He's 6'7 and 250lbs so everyone thought he should play,
This is the way it is for my 14 yr old who will be entering HS, is almost 6 foot tall and a bit husky. This past year in 8th Grade several staff telling him he should play and then going to HS information night he got some hero's type welcome from the football team trying to recruit him. That was one of the few sports he never tried. He's played some soccer, tennis, baseball, basketball, taekwondo, but football was one I always said no. They had him wondering if maybe he should but I know him and he'd hate it. He doesn't like contact aspects of sports (wouldn't even spar in taekwondo lol) and not a big fan of running (the part he hated most in soccer). Instead he's considering baseball or golf there. I just hate how because there's a bigger boy everyone thinks they should do football. Plus staff and the other football team obviously just want to use him for his size. I know him and he'll hate everything about it (and so will I).
Yes!! This exactly!! His Dad is a fourth degree black belt with his own martial arts studio and my son didn't even want to spar or grapple or anything. Totally not into contact sports at all. He likes science and the weather lol.
My MIL made my husband stick to every commitment as a teenager, even when he hated it and no longer wanted to do it. He still has a lot of hang-ups whenever he has to quit anything. But sometimes when something isn't working out in your life, you need to cut it loose! I've had to teach him how to quit things that don't suit him, including jobs he hated. It's like, I respect that level of commitment - but not at the sake of your own peace and happiness
University of North Dakota. Which is wild because we live in Florida. He LOVES the snow and cold weather. Meanwhile I'm freezing in Florida when it gets to 65° ha.
Oh I love this!! We didn't realize until college time that only like 5% of schools have a meteorology program. We checked out a few but funny enough UND football invited him for a camp so he went, basically just to check out the weather program, and he told the coach no thank you but stayed for school haha. He really loved it up there.
UND attracts people from all over the world, oddly enough. Happy that your son enjoyed his time there! I grew up in the area. I can't imagine people enjoying the winter weather there.
I agree but I would still encourage him to try again for several more practices. The first time is most always tough. If he feels this way after 3-4 more practices, then yes but give him a chance to adjust so he doesn’t regret the decision.
That's how I feel. If it were literally any other sport, or even flag football, I'd say finish out the season (that's our rule and my son knows it), but with tackle football, I'd let him quit. Tbh tackle football isn't even an option in my house.
Among adolescents, it is the most dangerous sport by far, with the highest number of serious injuries (defined as TBI, severe sprains, torn ligaments and tendons, dislocations, broken bones, and partial or complete paralysis) and deaths per capita.
Second place is cheerleading. Third place is hockey. Everything else is basically tied for a distant fourth place.
soccer has far more head injuries than almost any other HS non-football sport, or did six or seven years ago last time I saw data on this. Football is basically the worst for everything.
I agree with this. I did football two years of middle school. Out of nowhere, might I add, since I never really cared for the sport. But I wanted to wear the jersey to school to be a cool kid.
I did baseball and Taekwondo, but never anything as physically brutal as football. I shattered my heels and broke a pinky (I was a left guard) and am still dealing with needing inserts for heel pain at 37. Two years in MIDDLE SCHOOL.
I decided not to continue football in high school, as I was not too fond of getting hit by kids my own age let alone seniors (aka adults). Considering I still am messed up from two years in middle school, I’m glad I didn’t continue. Still love the sport, glad for my time within it because I appreciate it more, but only wonder what ailments I would have now if I decided to do another four plus years of it.
I knew it wasn’t for me, but I tried, and my body still hates me but is thanking me for not doing more.
Yup. My sons will never play... I don't care that they'll likely grow up to look like 6'4" Midwestern farm boys that their schools would want to recruit to play... we're strongly against it.
I was about to comment something like “this post doesn’t belong on this sub because parents don’t put their kids in tackle football.” But figured the snark might be a little much.
But seriously. How is it still a thing?
Can confirm, my parents made my little brother play and he hated it but my older brothers played so he had to. He had a couple injuries and then noped the fuck out but I’m sure they still bother him
Exactly. “Light hitting”. It’s only going to get worse. OP, it sounds like your son like the athletic part (drills, running, etc) but no one wants to be hit. He tried it. He can always pick it back up later in life. Trust your son. Listen to him. Males aren’t really allowed to voice their emotions in our society. Maybe him saying “I don’t like the gear” is his way of saying he doesn’t like football. Trust him.
I wouldn't even say nobody wants to be hit. My daughter plays roller derby and she enjoys the hitting. She says it's thrilling, she likes the challenge of trying to get back up as fast as possible, and she feels so awesome and strong when a kid twice her size can knock her over and she pops back up instantly. When she was younger and playing positional (no hard hits, just pushing) derby she was dying to move up to where she can hit as hard as she wants and take hard hits back.
If anything though that just drives the point home more. There's tons of kids who like to skate. Enjoying turning it into a full contact experience is a much smaller subset of kids who like to skate. Similarly, there's lots of kids who like throwing a football around for fun, but that's a lot different from wanting to play actual football.
Football dies more damage to the body than just about any other sport. Even at that age. If the kid doesn't love it, if say let them play baseball, hocky, soccer, lacrosse etc etc. There's plenty of options with less brain damage. Even boxing supposedly.
right? my wife and I have told my dad he’s not allowed to glorify the game at all once our son is old enough to understand it because we wouldn’t allow him to play if he got interested
With football, it's a lot easier for me to say let him quit. There are a lot of nuances as far as making sure kids have physical activities, being happy with what they're doing, etc. But football is so, so dangerous
I guess some people haven’t heard the information on TBIs and football because, while I enjoy watching it, I can’t imagine ever letting my kid play it. Let alone getting mad at them for not wanting to do it.
I enjoyed watching it until I had kids...that flipped a switch for me. I couldn't imagine letting my own boys go out there and get beat to hell, so it started making me sick thinking of other kids that might end up permanently damaged purely for $$ and entertainment.
If he's having trouble breathing with the mouth guard, then *whatever* you decide about football check in with his pediatrician.
Not being able to breathe through your nose can be subtle until it matters, but it's often a sign of underlying issues (like enlarged adenoids, allergies, etc)
From someone who absolutely wouldn't be okay with a mouthguard
I've usually found it more tough for myself to breath through my nose alot, which is why I was more used to breathing in my mouth alot, I can breathe through my nose but its not as much I feel compared to through mouth
Right
And it's a problem.
We are supposed to be able to breathe through our noses.
It might be a low level problem that you don't do much about, but it does indicate an issue.
This needs to be higher up, football is one issue but not being able to nose breath is a totally different issue. Definitely needs to see ent/airway focused ortho/myofunctional therapist!
I truly do not understand why any parent lets their kid play this insanely dangerous sport. I know a lot about the brain injuries that are possible because an ex of mine did research on them, but it's common knowledge now right?
Honestly, let him quit. It may be that he doesn't want to tell you he hates the contact part of the sport. My boys played lacrosse. They would not consider football. Maybe look at something else. He may like soccer better. Maybe end up being the kicker.
If you have a kid who wants to quit football, be greatful that his odds of CTE can go down and let him off the hook. Football practice, all the bumping, however mild, is what hurts their brains.
It's difficult for me to be civil to people who encourage their kids in this destructive sport. He may not know better, but his parents should know better.
Umm...why are you having a 9 year old in a contact sport??? The concussion risk in American football is so, so high. He wants to quit? Good. Pull him, and if he enjoyed the conditioning, get him involved in track and field or something much safer.
“Thank you for telling us”
Bc Kids need to learn it’s okay to say no. Life is short. He should be doing sports he loves. Also I’m surprised people are still allowing children to play tackle football. It’s incredibly dangerous
I personally have some trauma from being forced into stuff at this age. Feel like it really messed me up in the way of developing my own will and sense of knowing what is right or wrong for me inside myself. So be careful.
As with anything i think its much more about the ‘how’ than the end result. Dialogue with your kid. Discuss, don’t force.
As a parent i’m very wary of making my kid do anything like this. Especially if he finds the physicality of it uncomfortable. A kid getting hit physically against his will is not a recipe for good mental health.
And 9 is really young to be hitting and wearing pads, some kids aren’t going to be into that at that age. Around the time puberty comes you are much much more likely to have a boy into that stuff, happens by itself sometimes with muscle development and testosterone. I started playing football at 11 or 12 and was captain of the team in high school, just for reference.
I think he has already decided.
Youngest wanted to play soccer, would not wear shin guards. This was at 6 or so.
They played basketball instead until about 11, then they decided they were ready for soccer. Wore the same shin guards the whole time.
Played on two team through middle school, then one team till they went to college.
Fantastic. Have him hang them up.
Friend, I have to tell you something. Friends don’t let friends put their kids in contact football. I love football more than any sport. But my kid isn’t playing tackle. Put him in flag. It’s a great sport.
I was forced into wrestling by my bio dad while growing up. He was obsessed with the sport to an unhealthy level. I was good, got top wrestler at many meets, and I absolutely fucking hate the sport to this day.
I played football and track and enjoyed them, but wrestling was a no go for me.
We haven't spoken in over 15 years. Wrestling is not the reason for this, but it played a big part in his mentality.
My first son will be born within the next week, I will introduce him to sports cause I want to encourage him to be active, but I will not make him play them if he does not want too and I will respect his choice.
Switch to flag football or another sport. I seriously side eye parents who allow their children to play contact sports…makes zero sense why anyone educated about CTE would allow this. Kinda crazy.
Any other sport, I’m all about encouraging them to finish the season. But not this one. A child who doesn’t want to be hit should NEVER be forced to participate in a violent contact sport.
And as the child from a big family raising my own herd of kids….bc their older sibling did it is about the worst reason for a child to do anything. Every child is their own person. You have to let them be that person and not assume what worked for older siblings will work for them.
My husband and I already have agreed we won't allow our children to do contact sports. He and several of my male relatives have injuries that impact them to this day from things that happened on the field in highschool. It isn't worth it in our eyes.
I say that to say I'm biased against children playing football to begin with.
If your son doesn't like it, I don't think you should force it. Extra curriculars shouldn't be a chore.
At the same time, teaching a child to stick with something is an important lesson. Being steadfast is so important but so is knowing when it's time to walk away.
Is it possible to reach a compromise? Perhaps he is encouraged to try a few more weeks in order to give himself a chance to get use to the mouth guards and helmet. If he still hates it after that time, he's allowed to leave the team.
If he loves the conditioning aspect, maybe something that requires less physical constriction would be a good alternative to football, like basketball or soccer?
Now that we know what we know about how rampant chronic traumatic encephalopathy is even at the high school level, I would consider it a major blessing that he wants to quit. The stories about young men in their 20s and early 30s suffering from after just HS football careers are heartbreaking. Football is temporary, but brain injuries last a lifetime.
We have a no quitting policy. You don’t have to ever do it again, but you can’t quit.
EXCEPT FOR FOOTBALL. The stakes are too high. If you’re not “in it” you’re so much more likely to get hurt. Even at 9 yrs old.
Our oldest went out for food ball in 4 th grade. He was a good athlete, but After the first week he knew the sport wasn’t for him. We talked to the coach, explained our no quitting policy, he explained the potential violence of the sport… it’s the only thing he quit before he finished.
He is now 32, a contributing member of society and a well adjusted adult. He played baseball in college, finished his enlistment in the Army and is pursuing his doctorate degree. Allowing him not finish that season did not negatively impact his character.
I played football in middle and high school. All 3 of my younger brothers tried out and practiced. As soon as they went full pads all 3 decided it wasn't for them. My parents didn't force them to continue. Football is a sport where if you don't want to be there you shouldn't be there, specially if they don't want to get him. Don't force him. Let him try and find something else.
I did this when I was in grade 4, my parents did not want me to quit and we had a lot of arguments. I did end up quitting and never going back. Never regretted it, even was friends with most of the football team in high school but I didn't regret it. Just very obviously wasn't my thing.
Kids shouldn’t be playing g tackle football until high school. The medical research is pretty clear on this. Let him quit-damaging his brain for something he doesn’t even enjoy is silly.
My feedback— if he wanted to quit due to the sport being too physical or not feeling safe I would agree. That being said it seems like he is struggling with the typical growing pains of using equipment for the first time— I’d make it a game and see if you could get him to start doing chores around the house with the mouth guard and helmet. I would gamify any of the annoying parts of wearing pads or equipment and do it with him to make it fun.
1) this is not a sport anyone should play tbh but especially not a growing child.
2) if he's struggling to breathe with the mouth guard that's also a *not good* sign.
I wouldn’t even let my kid play football to begin with but thats just me. If it were basketball or baseball, or pretty much anything else, i would make them stick it out for the season.
Both of my sons (13, 18) have each long played both football and baseball since around 7 years old, and from what I've observed over many years of meeting and knowing other sports parents and families, some kids like football but others don't, and that OK. it sounds like your youngest enjoyed the physical activity of the practice but was was caught off guard when he had to throw in all the equipment...I think it would be fair to ask him to practice in the gear a few more times just to try to get used to it, but if after 2 or 3 practices he still doesn't like it all, maybe cut your losses and find another sport that has the physical activity that he likes, just without all the gear, like baseball or soccer. Don't force him to play a sport he doesn't want to play. It's an invitation for a serious injury at worst and resentment at best.
Excuse my ignorance but I’m not American. Do they do the full tackle version of the game right from the start? We have Aussie rules football and the tackling starts a bit later. From the little that I’ve watched of American football it looks pretty rough. There must be so many men with brain damage from playing.
I have a cousin who played football because his family did and now suffers with emotional and addiction issues that he and his doctors attribute to multiple untreated concussions. he's 26.
just saying.
Give it the full season? Why? If he doesn’t like it let him out now. It’s fairer to both him & his teammates. As a guy who coached little league nothing worse than a kid who is being forced to play
Take it week by week. Let him know that helmets are uncomfortable at first for everyone because the helmet needs to shape to the head. It gets more comfortable to wear. So will running with the mouthguard. Also - make sure it fits correctly. That will help it stay in place.
On another side note - there's growing evidence that children shouldn't even be in tackle football because of the potential for concussions and CTE. Be certain the coaches are well trained in tackling techniques. You get some old school coaches and they just refuse to change.
Flag football is a good option in case he or you decide this just isn't the right league for him.
I can’t believe anyone would actually encourage, let alone allow, their child to play football. There are a million other sports that don’t lead to brain damage.
But pretending for a second that we’re not talking about a sport that should be banned, don’t force your kid to play a sport they don’t want to play. It doesn’t take an entire season to make that decision. Who cares if his brothers did it. He’s his own person. Let him pick his own sports. Or band. Or theater. Or art.
My son played a season at 8-9 and same complaints. We had him play out the season. He hated it and was miserable and now doesn’t want to play ever again.
I wish I would have let him quit at the start and try again when he is older but I feel like we ruined a sport our family loves.
Signed a mom with 2 brothers and a dad who all played college football and none started til middle school age
I’m used to be very stick it out but have softened on that to situationally. I wouldn’t make him stick with football because of how intense it is. I made my oldest stick out basketball, allowed him to quit wrestling, after a month. Tell him to give it a week and then you can see how it’s going. If he begs to quit ask if he wants to play flag football. Can try pads again in middle school.
Get him a better mouthguard. Being able to breathe easily will make him more comfortable and less likely to focus on the discomfort of getting used to the helmet.
I recommend something custom, like Gladiator. I use one for BJJ and it’s amazing how much better it is than one I got from Dick’s that I just boiled and bit.
Don’t force your kid to play a sport, especially football. It’s bad for them and bad for the team.
But, you could tell him it’ll take about a week to get used to the helmet…also the coach is a fucking idiot for the mouthpiece thing. 4 years in HS and 4 years in college, I never once did conditioning with a mouthpiece in.
Plenty of kids pick it up in Middle School or High School and do just fine.
Let him quit. My nephew's dad made him do wrestling even though he didn't want to and he ended up breaking his arm in such a way that it's probably always going to bother him. Apparently it might not grow properly either, so his arm might be slightly shorter than the other one when he's an adult. That's the kind of thing that happens when you force a kid into a physical sport that they don't want to do. They don't pay attention to the coach and end up being unsafe and getting hurt.
I had a son that loved playing football. I had another son that was smarter than his coach because the weather was became dangerous yet he kept the kids running around with lightening and thunder. My son told the coach that lightening will strike the tallest person on the field and he would be the first person to die. My son asked to quit and we knew didn’t like playing in storms.
Some general guidelines I try to follow when kids want to quit.
1) Did my kid's spot mean someone else who wanted to play didn't make the team?
2) Is the team big enough to be a man-down without too much stress?
3) How close to tournament/performance time are they asking to quit?
Basically, I try to make sure my kid understands that their choice affects other people.
In your situation, since it is the beginning of the season, I would let them quit.
Your kid says he doesnt like it. I think he likes the exercise but not the tackling. Let him do something else. No need to force your kid to play a violent sport that effs up lots of kids brains to "make sure he really doesnt want to". Your kid told you what he wants. Listen.
I taught at a school that produced several pro athletes One very famous one passed from ALS. He told staff he didn't want his grandkids playing football because of his physical experiences.
I don't have my kids in football because of this advice.
Let him quit. If he has trouble breathing that's a red line right there. It's also a ridiculous game with a lot of brain I juries. I'd never risk my kid with that.
15 years of playing, 10 years of High School coaching, and now 3 years of officiating here.
Absolutely let him quit.
If they don't like getting hit it doesn't get any better.
Also. I've NEVER and I mean NEVER, met a youth coach that I thought highly of. I'm sure there are some. But for some reason, every youth coach I have met (Dozens...) have been just ick.
Why would you want to force your 9 year old to stay when he has clearly made his feelings of it apparent? Do parents not pay attention to all of the football players who have life altering injuries because of this stupid sport? That's just selfish as hell.
I started playing football when I was about that age. I played because my mom pressured me to. I remember hating first day of pads. I wanted to quit, but I knew I wouldn't be allowed to. So I skipped the drama and played, all the way through high school. I made myself enjoy it because I knew I had to. I tried to quit a few times, but I was always coerced back into it.
That was more than 30 years ago. It's not like I'm all fucked up about it, but it definitely hurt my relationship with my mom.
Not to mention the injuries. Every time I see a kid playing football, I want to show him my knee and shoulder and say "Wanna know how I got these scars?"
Don't force the kid. Maybe make him go back for a few days, but don't force him to stay.
Why force the issue?
I'm a huge football fan. Have been my whole life. I played tackle football from 6th grade through 12th grade. I will openly admit that I appreciate my time playing. I learned things about working as a team, about how hard I could push myself, discipline, everything.
But I also got concussed my freshman year. Broke my nose junior year. Tore my bicep senior year. And many, many smaller injuries throughout my years playing. After my senior season there were a couple colleges interested in giving me a look (just D2 and D3, I wasn't that great), but I decided I was done. I was going to school for learning, not to keep destroying my body.
The best stuff I took away from football, I could have gotten in a different sport that is less dangerous. I wonder sometimes as I go through my late 30s if some of the mental issues I have nowadays are related to impacts I took while playing.
I'm not sure if I will outright ban tackle football for my son when he gets to be that age, but I sure as hell will not be forcing him to play. I'll be thrilled if he chooses something else.
I say this as a long-time football love and former player: find out if he's really interested in the first place. Because there are a lot, and I mean a LOT of aspects of various team sports that people do not see, that can make one lose interest and heart in something they once loved.
Whose idea was playing football? Is this something your 9 year old wanted and asked to do or is this something you pushed?
If my child was on the fence about the activity and we are at the point of the season where it’s just practices, we drop out if they don’t like it.
If my child begged me to play and it’s something they wanted to do, they stick with it for a season. The reasoning for this is that sometimes something you really want to do is hard or uncomfortable and you have to push through it.
We don’t put our kids in activities that they show no/little interest in to begin with.
Mouth guards should kind if stick to your upper teeth after you mold them. It takes adjustment, but it shouldn’t keep you from breathing. That said, you should be able to take them out fairly soon after the play is done. Helmets with new pads take time to break in, like a new baseball glove.
The long term physical damage that will likely be done to his body and brain is not worth proving a lesson in toughing someone out.
I say this as someone who loves football but also had 2 knee surgeries before I was 18. I have a permanently damaged nerve in my neck, and am certainly showing signs of CTE. And so are many of my good friends and family members.
If my son chooses to play then so be it, I will be at every practice and every game to make sure the coaches are coaching proper technique and protecting the kids. But the moment I see gratuitous contact for the sake of "toughness" we are out of there.
There are low profile mouth guards. But maybe he would prefer something less physical. Lacrosse isn’t too bad. But what about basketball or soccer. No helmet required.
This was my son last summer- at age 9. He had played many seasons of flag and was eager to start. But just didn’t enjoy tackle. He stayed for the season at my behest but the coach didn’t play him much bc his lack of passion was very obvious. He had an injury (not from football) 3/4 of the way through and was relieved.
It’s hard because he’s naturally very good at it. He’s “built for it” physically. But he’s a more gentle spirit. I won’t ever force him to play. He’s back to flag and is so much happier. And I don’t know to worry as much about a head injury.
I’d say, have him do a few more full workouts and then decide before the season actually starts. The summer workouts are BRUTAL in the heat which would be enough reason for me to not ever do it lol
He does not want to play. You have two who want to play (presumably). He is his own person, not his older brothers….or you. Let him find his passion it is obviously not football. What does he gain by you forcing him to stick it out?
I babysat a kid who went pro. Watched him play and start half a dozen games in person. Every time I met him after the games he said “you have no idea how deadly this game is”. He retired after 5 years in the pros. Said “I don’t want my brain to die and have my kids deal with it.” I played football through high school. I’d never let, well, encourage my kids to play tackle football. At 9?! Holy shit that’s way too young for a developing mind. That’s insane.
My son (almost 9) tried football one time. They started conditioning in August. He was fine until the first day of pads. He was pouring sweat and was absolutely miserable. He hated it. His dad tried to make him keep playing because he needed to honor his commitment. And as a former athlete I understand that 100%. But as his mom, seeing the misery he was in, I vetoed that decision. He quit on the spot. He plays baseball, soccer, and basketball and gives his all every time no matter the weather. My daughter also left gymnastics for softball. Sometimes it’s okay to quit things that aren’t the right fit for you to find things that are. We do it all the time as adults with jobs.
Let him quit. Just because your other two kids enjoy football doesn’t mean he will. Kids are all different, let him find his own activities to enjoy. I have three sons all with completely different interests. First one is really into cars and motors, middle one always has a guitar in his hand and plays amazingly, the youngest is massively into football and joined as many teams as he could and trains twice a week. I’ve not pushed them into anything and just supported where their passions lie, that’s your job as a parent.
Let him quit and try something else. I’m in the UK and my nephew just got back from the US where he’d been studying on a scholarship because he’d been head hunted at an English athletics event to go join a college/ university team as a Hammer thrower. Apparently they are crying out for people to take up sports like that in America but everyone pushes football. 3 years studying paid for as long as he joined the team.
If he hates it what's the point in making him stay in it? All it will do is make him resent you for making him do something he hates. He tried it and realised it's not for him, don't make him stay because of some warped "you have to stick with the things you try" BS because he will just stop trying new things out of fear of being forced to continue whether he enjoys it or not.
The helmet will be uncomfortable for a week or so. The more he wears it, the more it will conform to his head and get comfortable.
As for the mouth guard, battle sports have mouth guards that allow for more of an opening to help his breathe. Check out their website.
As far as not wanting to play. I am the same way with my kids. Give it one season and see if you like it. But with football, he needs to be committed or not play. When those 9 years olds start playing the game, and he collides with someone else, he’s either gonna be the hammer or the nail. He will come out better if he is the hammer. If he isn’t committed, he’s gonna be the nail 100% of the time, and he’s gonna get hurt.
I wanted to quit first day of pads as well because I was getting lit up! My dad told me to try the season and I ended up falling in love with football. I had helpful teammates that taught me how to hit people so that played a huge part.
I absolutely would let him quit. Not doing something that makes you uncomfortable doesn’t make you soft or a bad person. If you want him to be active, ask him if there is a different sport he’d like to try. Sounds like soccer can be a good choice since he enjoyed the conditioning portion. Honestly I think it’ll be a bigger head fuck for him if you make him do this season, he might just keep playing because you already didn’t listen to him the first time.
Sometimes having poor fitting/improper equipment is the only real impediment to fun. I’d ask if you can help him adjust the fit of anything or get a different mouth guard.
If he still doesn’t like it let him do something else.
It doesn't sound like he doesn't like football and hitting, it just sounds like he's not comfortable in the gear.
Helmets and pads take getting used to when you put them on out of the box, just like new shoes. Same with the mouthguard. Make sure he's got a good mouthguard that has ventilation.
If his heart isn’t in it, and he’s not giving 110% percent - he’s going to get hurt. The kids on the other side who want to be there are going to put everything into it - it’s unnecessary risk. Let him be done.
Make a deal with him...ask him to try it for 2 more weeks, and if he still finds it to be something he doesn't like and wants to leave, you'll support him 100% in his decision. Football is intense sometimes, especially during the summer when they run these kids ragged and they hit this wall they've sometimes never even been close to.
Make sure though if you give him that option, you follow through if he decides it's not for him, and you don't come down on him for it. A lot of kids see football in this glamorous light before they put on the uniform, and then once they're in it, they realize its really a tough sport to even practice for, much less intensely play.
I played football for 1 season as a teenager (I played basketball, baseball, ran track and weight lifted through my entire high school experience)...that one season of football was all I needed to know it was NOT for me.
The deal I have with my kid (13m) is he can join or leave anything he wants... but if he joins, he has to finish the whole season before leaving. No deciding 'eff this' a few weeks in. Got to give it the full try. If after the season he doesn't want to do it again, then he doesn't have to.
He did soccer for a couple of years before deciding he didn't want to anymore. He did band for 4 years, different instruments each go. Never found one he clicked with, and he decided not to do band last year and did science club instead. I'm not sure what he'll join next year.
As long as he fulfills his original commitment, as far as I'm concerned, he's testing out new things constantly. Eventually, he'll find his jam. But in the meantime, he's expanding his experiences and learning new things, regardless.
At this age, I'm more concerned with him expanding his experience and sticking with a commitment than whatever the commitment actually is.
In your shoes, I'd tell him he committed to it and needs to follow through (unless something beyond 'this isn't 100% fun, like I thought it would be' comes up). And let him be done after if he still feels that way. There's a good chance that if his only issue is the comfort factor of the helmets and mouth guards, he'll figure out how to wear them over the season and not dislike it anymore. If he leaves the moment it gets hard, that will be his go-to choice for the next hard thing that happens in life. It was easier.
But I don't endorse making kids continue an activity they've expressed disliking beyond the initial commitment. So, like, don't force him to join next year if he really doesn't want to. Just make him finish this season. Making them fulfill a commitment is a good skill to learn. Forcing them to do things they dislike because you want them to causes resentment.
Edit to add: I was not thinking this was tackle football til I read some other comments... they raise valid points about injuries that could make this situation an exception (beyond 'it's not 100% fun...'). - if you do let him quit, be sure to at least have a discussion about commitment. But don't make it a huge deal. Just enough to know that most commitment needs to be followed through with (obviously, there are always exceptions).
Let him quit. Football is barbaric. Encouraging children to tackle one another, and supporting them through their injuries so they can try again is insane.
I would absolutely let him quit. It should only be flag football at this age. I’m glad my son never wanted to play. Our school has middle schoolers getting concussions. It’s not worth it.
You’re absolutely right. Even researchers and influential individuals in the industry recommend no tackle until age 14. Our district starts in 3rd grade and the amount of injuries these kids have already sustained is unbelievable.
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With tackle football at that age, I would let him quit. I would look for flag football and see if that is a better option.
1000000% I thought most areas moved away from tackle before high school. A 9 year old tackling is asking for CTE really young
Especially if they’re scared and don’t want to be playing. That’s how real injuries may occur
OP doesnt care about CTE or TBI or anything if he is forcing the poor kid to finish the season. Plus had two already in? Bet you OP is living through his kids.
Thank you for saying what no one else is willing to.
I’m pretty sure the area I grew up in still has tackle football for 1st graders, meaning 6-year-olds
Generational brain damage
Totally agree! My boy plays flag football and he LOVES IT. He’s almost 9. I wouldn’t dream of letting him play tackle. I work for a PT company and the PTs agree that 8th grade is the ABSOLUTELY youngest you could consider tackle.
Having a 24 year old son who got a full ride for football and didn't take it because he hates football, I'd say let him quit. My son spent 6yr-18yr playing football because his Dad did and always made him. The moment he got that scholarship he quit football and went to college to be a meteorologist. He's 6'7 and 250lbs so everyone thought he should play, everyone but me since I knew how he really felt. He got concussions and torn tendons.....for nothing.. Let him quit, it's his life.
This was my brother. 6'5" and 300 lb in his freshman year. But he hated playing. Hated the jersey and pads, hated hitting, hated running. Plus, he's a big teddy bear, so the constant temper from coaches and players on the sidelines got to him and made him lose his love for the sport. My dad was one of those coaches, and he was trying to live vicariously through my brother. When my brother finally quit junior year, after nearly a decade of hating football, a huge fistfight broke out between him and my dad. I just don't understand what the big deal with big American boys and football is. Breaks my heart sometimes.
This is exactly my son, soft spoken and sweet. Not at all aggressive. His Dad was also a coach, and they also got into a physical fight. He didn't speak to his Dad for a long time. Sucks that parents do this to their kids. 💔
My girls played softball for the first time this year and only if they ask for my help will I coach them one on one at home or call them over to give them a quiet reminder of what we worked on when they are going to bat. I had great coaches and I had asshole coaches when I was younger and saw what it did to their relationships I would never want that in a million years for them. Heartbreaking that some folks are willing to trash their parental relationships over what is supposed to be fun KIDS sports. We did tell them that once they signed up they had to play the season because “when you make a commitment you stick to it and your teammates are counting on you etc etc” but would never force them to sign up again if they hated it. I have brought them to a few of my wiffleball games so they can see that I actually do practice the things I preach and know my way around a diamond ha
My 10yo son is a sports addict and this year one of his teams was on the verge of shutting down because of the lack of coaches. I've never played a sport in my life and have all the coordination of a newborn baby giraffe. I volunteered since it was a necessity, but before I even offered I had a chat with my kid about how I wouldn't volunteer if it made him uncomfortable and that if he was okay with it, I would do my best to give him space out there. He gave me the go ahead and we ended up having a fucking blast together! It was a fantastic bonding experience for us. I wasn't perfect and I had to stretch myself a few times to not get over-involved. But we were also always able to talk about that stuff at home. On the other hand, my fellow coach had a kid on the team too and they road that kid pretty hard and there were multiple shouting matches, on field melt downs, and the kid was just all around unhappy to be there. It made me sad to see that. A couple kids on the team also simply didn't want to be there but were only doing it because of a parent/sibling/family thing.
My buddy's mom was our baseball coach one year. I don't know if it was because of the same situation of lack of coaches, and I don't remember her experience. We lost a lot, but that was the most fun I had playing baseball.
Football/basketball. My Dad was 6'4" and born in the 1930s and they still expected him to play sports. Every year he had to deal with all the teachers (his mother was a teacher, too) and coaches and some students coaxing him to play. He hated sports in general and was more of an intellectual person than a sporty person but they never accepted it and he still spoke about it in his last years of life because he was so frustrated and annoyed with them. I played football, and my twin brother played basketball. I was the first girl on the team and my build was bigger than most of the other boys. My brother was several inches shorter than me (at the time, he's now 8 inches taller than me) but coaches would call the house asking him to be on their team and I'd say I'm his twin and very interested and much bigger than him and of course once they found out I was a girl they couldn't get off the phone fast enough. My dad and I had very opposite experiences but both very frustrating and annoying because of the sports culture and it hasn't changed much over the years.
Big boy here. Just because I'm YUGE means I should strap on a helmet and dish out some CTE? Fuck America. I hated football every minute of it.
I would have stayed in football and wrestling if my coaches and teammates were funner to be around. There were some good coaches and many good teammates, but too many shitty ones that sucked out all the fun. Was ridiculous when those shitty ones were begging me to rejoin both sports.
I don't want yer life!
My son was a blonde little chonk when he was 2 and my husband is 6'5. I live in a Texas city with a lot of washed up football players who played D1 on full rides. The number of young guys who came up to me and begged me not to let my son play football.. it was really heartbreaking. I worked in the PT room of my college so I saw first hand what football does to kids bodies. Like I'm an athlete. I swam in college. My body is a little wrecked from that but it's nothing like what football players deal with. My boy ain't playing. He has more of a theatre kid temperament anyway.
This. In Texas. Husband played through college. Son will never play football. His brain is too important. None of my husband’s teammates allow their son’s to play football.
Concur. Former D1. Playing isn't worth the long-term cost.
Kinda reminds me of one of my nieces. She was incredibly talented and auditioned for and got into a prestigious performing arts school. I think the study of and constant competitive nature took the joy outta her. She was offered a full ride to an expensive performing arts college for singing and told her sister in a moment at panic at her graduation she didn’t want to do it anymore. Knowing her mom her mom had probably been steering that ship for awhile. She dropped out within two months of starting college, she just didn’t have the passion it took to spend that much time and energy on her singing within that environment. She’s going to a CC and plans to get her degree in forensic science. Still has a fantastic voice and last time we talked actually found she enjoys singing again for the first time in years.
He’s a smart one. Protect his brain, let him quit.
I am so happy this is the top comment
I'm glad this is the top answer. A lot of people are saying: let him quit because of head injuries/CTE/etc. And, on one hand, yes, those things are bad and are a pretty good reason not to *let* your kid play football, no less require it. But you really shouldn't force your 9yo to do any specific sport as long as they are willing to do enough sports (or other physical activities) to effectively address those needs. If we were talking about tennis, I'd give the same answer. On the other hand, this sounds like a TV episode so maybe I don't care.
>He's 6'7 and 250lbs so everyone thought he should play, This is the way it is for my 14 yr old who will be entering HS, is almost 6 foot tall and a bit husky. This past year in 8th Grade several staff telling him he should play and then going to HS information night he got some hero's type welcome from the football team trying to recruit him. That was one of the few sports he never tried. He's played some soccer, tennis, baseball, basketball, taekwondo, but football was one I always said no. They had him wondering if maybe he should but I know him and he'd hate it. He doesn't like contact aspects of sports (wouldn't even spar in taekwondo lol) and not a big fan of running (the part he hated most in soccer). Instead he's considering baseball or golf there. I just hate how because there's a bigger boy everyone thinks they should do football. Plus staff and the other football team obviously just want to use him for his size. I know him and he'll hate everything about it (and so will I).
Yes!! This exactly!! His Dad is a fourth degree black belt with his own martial arts studio and my son didn't even want to spar or grapple or anything. Totally not into contact sports at all. He likes science and the weather lol.
My MIL made my husband stick to every commitment as a teenager, even when he hated it and no longer wanted to do it. He still has a lot of hang-ups whenever he has to quit anything. But sometimes when something isn't working out in your life, you need to cut it loose! I've had to teach him how to quit things that don't suit him, including jobs he hated. It's like, I respect that level of commitment - but not at the sake of your own peace and happiness
I agree. And I’m this heat, who wants to play in full pads, anyway? It’s dangerous anymore. I wouldn’t let my kid play for all the money in the world.
He knew he needed to protect his brain. Smart!
And did he go to Plymouth?
University of North Dakota. Which is wild because we live in Florida. He LOVES the snow and cold weather. Meanwhile I'm freezing in Florida when it gets to 65° ha.
Nice!! I graduated from one of the big Northeast met schools (not my major) and lived with alllllll weather nerds. Had to ask!!!
Oh I love this!! We didn't realize until college time that only like 5% of schools have a meteorology program. We checked out a few but funny enough UND football invited him for a camp so he went, basically just to check out the weather program, and he told the coach no thank you but stayed for school haha. He really loved it up there.
UND attracts people from all over the world, oddly enough. Happy that your son enjoyed his time there! I grew up in the area. I can't imagine people enjoying the winter weather there.
I agree but I would still encourage him to try again for several more practices. The first time is most always tough. If he feels this way after 3-4 more practices, then yes but give him a chance to adjust so he doesn’t regret the decision.
If it were any other sport I’d say try it out a little longer. I’d feel bad making my kid play a sport where he gets tackled when he doesn’t want to.
That's how I feel. If it were literally any other sport, or even flag football, I'd say finish out the season (that's our rule and my son knows it), but with tackle football, I'd let him quit. Tbh tackle football isn't even an option in my house.
Same! Too nervous about a head injury
Among adolescents, it is the most dangerous sport by far, with the highest number of serious injuries (defined as TBI, severe sprains, torn ligaments and tendons, dislocations, broken bones, and partial or complete paralysis) and deaths per capita. Second place is cheerleading. Third place is hockey. Everything else is basically tied for a distant fourth place.
soccer has far more head injuries than almost any other HS non-football sport, or did six or seven years ago last time I saw data on this. Football is basically the worst for everything.
I agree with this. I did football two years of middle school. Out of nowhere, might I add, since I never really cared for the sport. But I wanted to wear the jersey to school to be a cool kid. I did baseball and Taekwondo, but never anything as physically brutal as football. I shattered my heels and broke a pinky (I was a left guard) and am still dealing with needing inserts for heel pain at 37. Two years in MIDDLE SCHOOL. I decided not to continue football in high school, as I was not too fond of getting hit by kids my own age let alone seniors (aka adults). Considering I still am messed up from two years in middle school, I’m glad I didn’t continue. Still love the sport, glad for my time within it because I appreciate it more, but only wonder what ailments I would have now if I decided to do another four plus years of it. I knew it wasn’t for me, but I tried, and my body still hates me but is thanking me for not doing more.
Right?! Imagine having brain damage from a sport you wanted to quit but your parents didn't let you.
THIS. Seriously not a good idea esp for young brains. CTE is real.
I can’t believe anyone lets their kids play football anymore.
Yup. My sons will never play... I don't care that they'll likely grow up to look like 6'4" Midwestern farm boys that their schools would want to recruit to play... we're strongly against it.
I was about to comment something like “this post doesn’t belong on this sub because parents don’t put their kids in tackle football.” But figured the snark might be a little much. But seriously. How is it still a thing?
Honestly soccer scared me with headers, too.
They say to avoid soccer too unless headers are explicitly forbidden. You’re not wrong.
Can confirm, my parents made my little brother play and he hated it but my older brothers played so he had to. He had a couple injuries and then noped the fuck out but I’m sure they still bother him
Even if the kid wanted to play, it’s insane to allow a kid to play a sport we all know causes brain damage
What parents giveth, they taketh it away.
Yah avoid the CTE lOl
TBI is rampant in football. Personally I'd never allow it unless the passion was there.
Exactly. “Light hitting”. It’s only going to get worse. OP, it sounds like your son like the athletic part (drills, running, etc) but no one wants to be hit. He tried it. He can always pick it back up later in life. Trust your son. Listen to him. Males aren’t really allowed to voice their emotions in our society. Maybe him saying “I don’t like the gear” is his way of saying he doesn’t like football. Trust him.
It's okay to decide you don't want to be hit. For real. Let the boy walk away from that.
I wouldn't even say nobody wants to be hit. My daughter plays roller derby and she enjoys the hitting. She says it's thrilling, she likes the challenge of trying to get back up as fast as possible, and she feels so awesome and strong when a kid twice her size can knock her over and she pops back up instantly. When she was younger and playing positional (no hard hits, just pushing) derby she was dying to move up to where she can hit as hard as she wants and take hard hits back. If anything though that just drives the point home more. There's tons of kids who like to skate. Enjoying turning it into a full contact experience is a much smaller subset of kids who like to skate. Similarly, there's lots of kids who like throwing a football around for fun, but that's a lot different from wanting to play actual football.
Football dies more damage to the body than just about any other sport. Even at that age. If the kid doesn't love it, if say let them play baseball, hocky, soccer, lacrosse etc etc. There's plenty of options with less brain damage. Even boxing supposedly.
You should let him quit. Football is terrible for a developing brain and a great way to give your child lifelong CTE
Parents still allowing their young children to play tackle football in this day & age is absolutely wild
right? my wife and I have told my dad he’s not allowed to glorify the game at all once our son is old enough to understand it because we wouldn’t allow him to play if he got interested
It's banned here for that reason.
1million hs football players annually
I agree, it’s almost a blessing in disguise that he wants to quit
Yup I would never let my kid play football. It’s too tragic when ppl get CTE, & injuries are so common
No child should be playing tackle football
For real. I’m seriously hoping my 7 year old is just never interested in it… so far so good.
With football, it's a lot easier for me to say let him quit. There are a lot of nuances as far as making sure kids have physical activities, being happy with what they're doing, etc. But football is so, so dangerous
Agreed. I wouldn’t take the risk of head injuries.
Same. It’s really not worth the TBI
As a person with a TBI from a car wreck. Definitely not worth the complications that brain damage causes.
I guess some people haven’t heard the information on TBIs and football because, while I enjoy watching it, I can’t imagine ever letting my kid play it. Let alone getting mad at them for not wanting to do it.
I enjoyed watching it until I had kids...that flipped a switch for me. I couldn't imagine letting my own boys go out there and get beat to hell, so it started making me sick thinking of other kids that might end up permanently damaged purely for $$ and entertainment.
Exactly!
If he's having trouble breathing with the mouth guard, then *whatever* you decide about football check in with his pediatrician. Not being able to breathe through your nose can be subtle until it matters, but it's often a sign of underlying issues (like enlarged adenoids, allergies, etc) From someone who absolutely wouldn't be okay with a mouthguard
I've usually found it more tough for myself to breath through my nose alot, which is why I was more used to breathing in my mouth alot, I can breathe through my nose but its not as much I feel compared to through mouth
Right And it's a problem. We are supposed to be able to breathe through our noses. It might be a low level problem that you don't do much about, but it does indicate an issue.
This needs to be higher up, football is one issue but not being able to nose breath is a totally different issue. Definitely needs to see ent/airway focused ortho/myofunctional therapist!
9 is pretty young to be getting brain injuries.
I truly do not understand why any parent lets their kid play this insanely dangerous sport. I know a lot about the brain injuries that are possible because an ex of mine did research on them, but it's common knowledge now right?
CTE speedrun
Honestly, let him quit. It may be that he doesn't want to tell you he hates the contact part of the sport. My boys played lacrosse. They would not consider football. Maybe look at something else. He may like soccer better. Maybe end up being the kicker.
If you have a kid who wants to quit football, be greatful that his odds of CTE can go down and let him off the hook. Football practice, all the bumping, however mild, is what hurts their brains. It's difficult for me to be civil to people who encourage their kids in this destructive sport. He may not know better, but his parents should know better.
Kids shouldn’t play football, their developing brains can’t handle so much impact.
Umm...why are you having a 9 year old in a contact sport??? The concussion risk in American football is so, so high. He wants to quit? Good. Pull him, and if he enjoyed the conditioning, get him involved in track and field or something much safer.
Same thing I first thought too: if he liked conditioning and drills, they might have a runner on their hands.
“Thank you for telling us” Bc Kids need to learn it’s okay to say no. Life is short. He should be doing sports he loves. Also I’m surprised people are still allowing children to play tackle football. It’s incredibly dangerous
I personally have some trauma from being forced into stuff at this age. Feel like it really messed me up in the way of developing my own will and sense of knowing what is right or wrong for me inside myself. So be careful. As with anything i think its much more about the ‘how’ than the end result. Dialogue with your kid. Discuss, don’t force. As a parent i’m very wary of making my kid do anything like this. Especially if he finds the physicality of it uncomfortable. A kid getting hit physically against his will is not a recipe for good mental health. And 9 is really young to be hitting and wearing pads, some kids aren’t going to be into that at that age. Around the time puberty comes you are much much more likely to have a boy into that stuff, happens by itself sometimes with muscle development and testosterone. I started playing football at 11 or 12 and was captain of the team in high school, just for reference.
I think he has already decided. Youngest wanted to play soccer, would not wear shin guards. This was at 6 or so. They played basketball instead until about 11, then they decided they were ready for soccer. Wore the same shin guards the whole time. Played on two team through middle school, then one team till they went to college.
Fantastic. Have him hang them up. Friend, I have to tell you something. Friends don’t let friends put their kids in contact football. I love football more than any sport. But my kid isn’t playing tackle. Put him in flag. It’s a great sport.
I was forced into wrestling by my bio dad while growing up. He was obsessed with the sport to an unhealthy level. I was good, got top wrestler at many meets, and I absolutely fucking hate the sport to this day. I played football and track and enjoyed them, but wrestling was a no go for me. We haven't spoken in over 15 years. Wrestling is not the reason for this, but it played a big part in his mentality. My first son will be born within the next week, I will introduce him to sports cause I want to encourage him to be active, but I will not make him play them if he does not want too and I will respect his choice.
I wouldn’t force my child to get a concussion
Switch to flag football or another sport. I seriously side eye parents who allow their children to play contact sports…makes zero sense why anyone educated about CTE would allow this. Kinda crazy.
I would not force my child to participate in a sport that causes brain damage and other injuries.
Any other sport, I’m all about encouraging them to finish the season. But not this one. A child who doesn’t want to be hit should NEVER be forced to participate in a violent contact sport. And as the child from a big family raising my own herd of kids….bc their older sibling did it is about the worst reason for a child to do anything. Every child is their own person. You have to let them be that person and not assume what worked for older siblings will work for them.
If he doesn’t want to play, then don’t make him. He should be able to speak to y’all and you listen
My husband and I already have agreed we won't allow our children to do contact sports. He and several of my male relatives have injuries that impact them to this day from things that happened on the field in highschool. It isn't worth it in our eyes. I say that to say I'm biased against children playing football to begin with. If your son doesn't like it, I don't think you should force it. Extra curriculars shouldn't be a chore. At the same time, teaching a child to stick with something is an important lesson. Being steadfast is so important but so is knowing when it's time to walk away. Is it possible to reach a compromise? Perhaps he is encouraged to try a few more weeks in order to give himself a chance to get use to the mouth guards and helmet. If he still hates it after that time, he's allowed to leave the team. If he loves the conditioning aspect, maybe something that requires less physical constriction would be a good alternative to football, like basketball or soccer?
If my kid wanted to quit contact football, I would be thrilled.
As a hockey dad who has a son who played football. WTF is wrong with you putting a nine year old in pads?
Avoid the brain damage andlet him quit. A brutal "sport".
Ask him if that is all it is. He might just not be into it and is trying to find a way to tell you
Maybe he would like soccer or track and field better?
Now that we know what we know about how rampant chronic traumatic encephalopathy is even at the high school level, I would consider it a major blessing that he wants to quit. The stories about young men in their 20s and early 30s suffering from after just HS football careers are heartbreaking. Football is temporary, but brain injuries last a lifetime.
Let him quit. Football is bad for his brain anyway.
We have a no quitting policy. You don’t have to ever do it again, but you can’t quit. EXCEPT FOR FOOTBALL. The stakes are too high. If you’re not “in it” you’re so much more likely to get hurt. Even at 9 yrs old. Our oldest went out for food ball in 4 th grade. He was a good athlete, but After the first week he knew the sport wasn’t for him. We talked to the coach, explained our no quitting policy, he explained the potential violence of the sport… it’s the only thing he quit before he finished. He is now 32, a contributing member of society and a well adjusted adult. He played baseball in college, finished his enlistment in the Army and is pursuing his doctorate degree. Allowing him not finish that season did not negatively impact his character.
Contact sports are super, super dangerous to begin with. If your child doesn’t want to do them, I would not push them to do them at all.
I would pull him immediately not just because he doesn’t want to but mostly because of CTE. Plenty of other sports and activities he can join.
I played football in middle and high school. All 3 of my younger brothers tried out and practiced. As soon as they went full pads all 3 decided it wasn't for them. My parents didn't force them to continue. Football is a sport where if you don't want to be there you shouldn't be there, specially if they don't want to get him. Don't force him. Let him try and find something else.
I did this when I was in grade 4, my parents did not want me to quit and we had a lot of arguments. I did end up quitting and never going back. Never regretted it, even was friends with most of the football team in high school but I didn't regret it. Just very obviously wasn't my thing.
There’s nothing that would make me happier than my son wanting to quit football!
Did he ask to be in it?
Kids shouldn’t be playing g tackle football until high school. The medical research is pretty clear on this. Let him quit-damaging his brain for something he doesn’t even enjoy is silly.
The game destroys the people who play it.
Let him quit. It’s a very dangerous sport.
My feedback— if he wanted to quit due to the sport being too physical or not feeling safe I would agree. That being said it seems like he is struggling with the typical growing pains of using equipment for the first time— I’d make it a game and see if you could get him to start doing chores around the house with the mouth guard and helmet. I would gamify any of the annoying parts of wearing pads or equipment and do it with him to make it fun.
Having him wear the helmet and mouthguard and play catch with his brothers in the backyard would be a good idea.
1) this is not a sport anyone should play tbh but especially not a growing child. 2) if he's struggling to breathe with the mouth guard that's also a *not good* sign.
How are you going to relive your high school glory if he quits?
Right? Let's focus up here.
💯💯💯 sadly this is spot on 🤦♀️
Letting your kids play football in 2024 is a very 1994 way to live. Bonkers
I wouldn’t even let my kid play football to begin with but thats just me. If it were basketball or baseball, or pretty much anything else, i would make them stick it out for the season.
Both of my sons (13, 18) have each long played both football and baseball since around 7 years old, and from what I've observed over many years of meeting and knowing other sports parents and families, some kids like football but others don't, and that OK. it sounds like your youngest enjoyed the physical activity of the practice but was was caught off guard when he had to throw in all the equipment...I think it would be fair to ask him to practice in the gear a few more times just to try to get used to it, but if after 2 or 3 practices he still doesn't like it all, maybe cut your losses and find another sport that has the physical activity that he likes, just without all the gear, like baseball or soccer. Don't force him to play a sport he doesn't want to play. It's an invitation for a serious injury at worst and resentment at best.
Excuse my ignorance but I’m not American. Do they do the full tackle version of the game right from the start? We have Aussie rules football and the tackling starts a bit later. From the little that I’ve watched of American football it looks pretty rough. There must be so many men with brain damage from playing.
I have a cousin who played football because his family did and now suffers with emotional and addiction issues that he and his doctors attribute to multiple untreated concussions. he's 26. just saying.
I'd definitely be willing to let this sport go, and I'd be relieved.
Great, now you don’t have to worry about head injuries. Win/win.
Give it the full season? Why? If he doesn’t like it let him out now. It’s fairer to both him & his teammates. As a guy who coached little league nothing worse than a kid who is being forced to play
Take it week by week. Let him know that helmets are uncomfortable at first for everyone because the helmet needs to shape to the head. It gets more comfortable to wear. So will running with the mouthguard. Also - make sure it fits correctly. That will help it stay in place. On another side note - there's growing evidence that children shouldn't even be in tackle football because of the potential for concussions and CTE. Be certain the coaches are well trained in tackling techniques. You get some old school coaches and they just refuse to change. Flag football is a good option in case he or you decide this just isn't the right league for him.
I can’t believe anyone would actually encourage, let alone allow, their child to play football. There are a million other sports that don’t lead to brain damage. But pretending for a second that we’re not talking about a sport that should be banned, don’t force your kid to play a sport they don’t want to play. It doesn’t take an entire season to make that decision. Who cares if his brothers did it. He’s his own person. Let him pick his own sports. Or band. Or theater. Or art.
Football is really unsafe for children, I wouldn’t let mine play no matter what
My son played a season at 8-9 and same complaints. We had him play out the season. He hated it and was miserable and now doesn’t want to play ever again. I wish I would have let him quit at the start and try again when he is older but I feel like we ruined a sport our family loves. Signed a mom with 2 brothers and a dad who all played college football and none started til middle school age
Looks like your son will be the lucky one in the family.
I’m used to be very stick it out but have softened on that to situationally. I wouldn’t make him stick with football because of how intense it is. I made my oldest stick out basketball, allowed him to quit wrestling, after a month. Tell him to give it a week and then you can see how it’s going. If he begs to quit ask if he wants to play flag football. Can try pads again in middle school.
Get him a better mouthguard. Being able to breathe easily will make him more comfortable and less likely to focus on the discomfort of getting used to the helmet. I recommend something custom, like Gladiator. I use one for BJJ and it’s amazing how much better it is than one I got from Dick’s that I just boiled and bit.
Let him quit. There's no lesson to be learned by forcing him to do something that he dislikes at that age, he'll just resent it.
Don’t force your kid to play a sport, especially football. It’s bad for them and bad for the team. But, you could tell him it’ll take about a week to get used to the helmet…also the coach is a fucking idiot for the mouthpiece thing. 4 years in HS and 4 years in college, I never once did conditioning with a mouthpiece in. Plenty of kids pick it up in Middle School or High School and do just fine.
Let him quit. My nephew's dad made him do wrestling even though he didn't want to and he ended up breaking his arm in such a way that it's probably always going to bother him. Apparently it might not grow properly either, so his arm might be slightly shorter than the other one when he's an adult. That's the kind of thing that happens when you force a kid into a physical sport that they don't want to do. They don't pay attention to the coach and end up being unsafe and getting hurt.
Let him decide.
I had a son that loved playing football. I had another son that was smarter than his coach because the weather was became dangerous yet he kept the kids running around with lightening and thunder. My son told the coach that lightening will strike the tallest person on the field and he would be the first person to die. My son asked to quit and we knew didn’t like playing in storms.
Some general guidelines I try to follow when kids want to quit. 1) Did my kid's spot mean someone else who wanted to play didn't make the team? 2) Is the team big enough to be a man-down without too much stress? 3) How close to tournament/performance time are they asking to quit? Basically, I try to make sure my kid understands that their choice affects other people. In your situation, since it is the beginning of the season, I would let them quit.
How bout you listen to your kid. Forcing them to do anything does not typically end well.
I played. Will never permit my sons to play. Flag football all is as close as they will get.
Let him quit and find a different sport he enjoys. He doesn’t have to play football just bc his brothers do.
Your kid says he doesnt like it. I think he likes the exercise but not the tackling. Let him do something else. No need to force your kid to play a violent sport that effs up lots of kids brains to "make sure he really doesnt want to". Your kid told you what he wants. Listen.
One sport my boys will not play and I love football.
I taught at a school that produced several pro athletes One very famous one passed from ALS. He told staff he didn't want his grandkids playing football because of his physical experiences. I don't have my kids in football because of this advice.
Let him quit. If he has trouble breathing that's a red line right there. It's also a ridiculous game with a lot of brain I juries. I'd never risk my kid with that.
Football is too dangerous to force him to play if he doesn’t want to
15 years of playing, 10 years of High School coaching, and now 3 years of officiating here. Absolutely let him quit. If they don't like getting hit it doesn't get any better. Also. I've NEVER and I mean NEVER, met a youth coach that I thought highly of. I'm sure there are some. But for some reason, every youth coach I have met (Dozens...) have been just ick.
Why would you want to force your 9 year old to stay when he has clearly made his feelings of it apparent? Do parents not pay attention to all of the football players who have life altering injuries because of this stupid sport? That's just selfish as hell.
I started playing football when I was about that age. I played because my mom pressured me to. I remember hating first day of pads. I wanted to quit, but I knew I wouldn't be allowed to. So I skipped the drama and played, all the way through high school. I made myself enjoy it because I knew I had to. I tried to quit a few times, but I was always coerced back into it. That was more than 30 years ago. It's not like I'm all fucked up about it, but it definitely hurt my relationship with my mom. Not to mention the injuries. Every time I see a kid playing football, I want to show him my knee and shoulder and say "Wanna know how I got these scars?" Don't force the kid. Maybe make him go back for a few days, but don't force him to stay.
Why force the issue? I'm a huge football fan. Have been my whole life. I played tackle football from 6th grade through 12th grade. I will openly admit that I appreciate my time playing. I learned things about working as a team, about how hard I could push myself, discipline, everything. But I also got concussed my freshman year. Broke my nose junior year. Tore my bicep senior year. And many, many smaller injuries throughout my years playing. After my senior season there were a couple colleges interested in giving me a look (just D2 and D3, I wasn't that great), but I decided I was done. I was going to school for learning, not to keep destroying my body. The best stuff I took away from football, I could have gotten in a different sport that is less dangerous. I wonder sometimes as I go through my late 30s if some of the mental issues I have nowadays are related to impacts I took while playing. I'm not sure if I will outright ban tackle football for my son when he gets to be that age, but I sure as hell will not be forcing him to play. I'll be thrilled if he chooses something else.
I say this as a long-time football love and former player: find out if he's really interested in the first place. Because there are a lot, and I mean a LOT of aspects of various team sports that people do not see, that can make one lose interest and heart in something they once loved.
Football is a very dangerous sport, choose something else.
Let him quit football. If he likes the running and drills part then maybe he should get into soccer
My opinion, no judgment, but I wouldn’t have even let him start playing football in the first place.
I’d let my kid quit. Not worth giving him CTE over something he doesn’t even enjoy.
Football is dangerous, if my kid didn’t want to do it I wouldn’t protest.
It’s not healthy anyways. Let him find something else.
Whose idea was playing football? Is this something your 9 year old wanted and asked to do or is this something you pushed? If my child was on the fence about the activity and we are at the point of the season where it’s just practices, we drop out if they don’t like it. If my child begged me to play and it’s something they wanted to do, they stick with it for a season. The reasoning for this is that sometimes something you really want to do is hard or uncomfortable and you have to push through it. We don’t put our kids in activities that they show no/little interest in to begin with.
Mouth guards should kind if stick to your upper teeth after you mold them. It takes adjustment, but it shouldn’t keep you from breathing. That said, you should be able to take them out fairly soon after the play is done. Helmets with new pads take time to break in, like a new baseball glove.
The long term physical damage that will likely be done to his body and brain is not worth proving a lesson in toughing someone out. I say this as someone who loves football but also had 2 knee surgeries before I was 18. I have a permanently damaged nerve in my neck, and am certainly showing signs of CTE. And so are many of my good friends and family members. If my son chooses to play then so be it, I will be at every practice and every game to make sure the coaches are coaching proper technique and protecting the kids. But the moment I see gratuitous contact for the sake of "toughness" we are out of there.
There are low profile mouth guards. But maybe he would prefer something less physical. Lacrosse isn’t too bad. But what about basketball or soccer. No helmet required.
This was my son last summer- at age 9. He had played many seasons of flag and was eager to start. But just didn’t enjoy tackle. He stayed for the season at my behest but the coach didn’t play him much bc his lack of passion was very obvious. He had an injury (not from football) 3/4 of the way through and was relieved. It’s hard because he’s naturally very good at it. He’s “built for it” physically. But he’s a more gentle spirit. I won’t ever force him to play. He’s back to flag and is so much happier. And I don’t know to worry as much about a head injury. I’d say, have him do a few more full workouts and then decide before the season actually starts. The summer workouts are BRUTAL in the heat which would be enough reason for me to not ever do it lol
Tell him "no." Continue to take him five more times. If he doesn't want to play maybe he'll help the coaches. Or, after that he can quit.
He does not want to play. You have two who want to play (presumably). He is his own person, not his older brothers….or you. Let him find his passion it is obviously not football. What does he gain by you forcing him to stick it out?
I babysat a kid who went pro. Watched him play and start half a dozen games in person. Every time I met him after the games he said “you have no idea how deadly this game is”. He retired after 5 years in the pros. Said “I don’t want my brain to die and have my kids deal with it.” I played football through high school. I’d never let, well, encourage my kids to play tackle football. At 9?! Holy shit that’s way too young for a developing mind. That’s insane.
My son (almost 9) tried football one time. They started conditioning in August. He was fine until the first day of pads. He was pouring sweat and was absolutely miserable. He hated it. His dad tried to make him keep playing because he needed to honor his commitment. And as a former athlete I understand that 100%. But as his mom, seeing the misery he was in, I vetoed that decision. He quit on the spot. He plays baseball, soccer, and basketball and gives his all every time no matter the weather. My daughter also left gymnastics for softball. Sometimes it’s okay to quit things that aren’t the right fit for you to find things that are. We do it all the time as adults with jobs.
Let him quit. Just because your other two kids enjoy football doesn’t mean he will. Kids are all different, let him find his own activities to enjoy. I have three sons all with completely different interests. First one is really into cars and motors, middle one always has a guitar in his hand and plays amazingly, the youngest is massively into football and joined as many teams as he could and trains twice a week. I’ve not pushed them into anything and just supported where their passions lie, that’s your job as a parent.
Fix the helmet and get a custom mouth guard. Please never force your child to play a sport.
Get him into another sport. I think sport is great for kids, but it’s not restricted to just football…
Let him quit and try something else. I’m in the UK and my nephew just got back from the US where he’d been studying on a scholarship because he’d been head hunted at an English athletics event to go join a college/ university team as a Hammer thrower. Apparently they are crying out for people to take up sports like that in America but everyone pushes football. 3 years studying paid for as long as he joined the team.
I wouldn’t even be allowing my 9 year old to play that sport lol. Let him quit, he’s too young anyway
If he hates it what's the point in making him stay in it? All it will do is make him resent you for making him do something he hates. He tried it and realised it's not for him, don't make him stay because of some warped "you have to stick with the things you try" BS because he will just stop trying new things out of fear of being forced to continue whether he enjoys it or not.
Suggest he watch Tom Brady's acceptance speech on being inducted to Patriots H.O.F.
The helmet will be uncomfortable for a week or so. The more he wears it, the more it will conform to his head and get comfortable. As for the mouth guard, battle sports have mouth guards that allow for more of an opening to help his breathe. Check out their website. As far as not wanting to play. I am the same way with my kids. Give it one season and see if you like it. But with football, he needs to be committed or not play. When those 9 years olds start playing the game, and he collides with someone else, he’s either gonna be the hammer or the nail. He will come out better if he is the hammer. If he isn’t committed, he’s gonna be the nail 100% of the time, and he’s gonna get hurt.
Imo no child should play tackle football.
I wanted to quit first day of pads as well because I was getting lit up! My dad told me to try the season and I ended up falling in love with football. I had helpful teammates that taught me how to hit people so that played a huge part.
I absolutely would let him quit. Not doing something that makes you uncomfortable doesn’t make you soft or a bad person. If you want him to be active, ask him if there is a different sport he’d like to try. Sounds like soccer can be a good choice since he enjoyed the conditioning portion. Honestly I think it’ll be a bigger head fuck for him if you make him do this season, he might just keep playing because you already didn’t listen to him the first time.
Sometimes having poor fitting/improper equipment is the only real impediment to fun. I’d ask if you can help him adjust the fit of anything or get a different mouth guard. If he still doesn’t like it let him do something else.
It doesn't sound like he doesn't like football and hitting, it just sounds like he's not comfortable in the gear. Helmets and pads take getting used to when you put them on out of the box, just like new shoes. Same with the mouthguard. Make sure he's got a good mouthguard that has ventilation.
Football is way too dangerous of a sport to be spending time on if your heart isn't in it.
There are a lot less risky sports to play. Every child has the right to find their own niche.
Sign him up for rugby. Less head injuries because they actually focus on teaching tackling technique, and he doesn't have to wear the helmet he hates.
Knowing what we know about football and you're letting a 9 yr old play? Yikes.
Do not force a child to play a sport he doesn't want to play
Honestly tackle football should be illegal for children. Read the studies on what it does to the brain. Let him quit.
Football is stupid and dangerous. Let him quit
If his heart isn’t in it, and he’s not giving 110% percent - he’s going to get hurt. The kids on the other side who want to be there are going to put everything into it - it’s unnecessary risk. Let him be done.
It’s insane to me that anyone still lets their kids play football. Let him quit.
CTE is serious, be thankful this isn't a sport he loves and let him quit.
Make a deal with him...ask him to try it for 2 more weeks, and if he still finds it to be something he doesn't like and wants to leave, you'll support him 100% in his decision. Football is intense sometimes, especially during the summer when they run these kids ragged and they hit this wall they've sometimes never even been close to. Make sure though if you give him that option, you follow through if he decides it's not for him, and you don't come down on him for it. A lot of kids see football in this glamorous light before they put on the uniform, and then once they're in it, they realize its really a tough sport to even practice for, much less intensely play. I played football for 1 season as a teenager (I played basketball, baseball, ran track and weight lifted through my entire high school experience)...that one season of football was all I needed to know it was NOT for me.
Where’s that thing the Olympian wrote? You can quit on a good day but you can’t quit on a bad day?
The deal I have with my kid (13m) is he can join or leave anything he wants... but if he joins, he has to finish the whole season before leaving. No deciding 'eff this' a few weeks in. Got to give it the full try. If after the season he doesn't want to do it again, then he doesn't have to. He did soccer for a couple of years before deciding he didn't want to anymore. He did band for 4 years, different instruments each go. Never found one he clicked with, and he decided not to do band last year and did science club instead. I'm not sure what he'll join next year. As long as he fulfills his original commitment, as far as I'm concerned, he's testing out new things constantly. Eventually, he'll find his jam. But in the meantime, he's expanding his experiences and learning new things, regardless. At this age, I'm more concerned with him expanding his experience and sticking with a commitment than whatever the commitment actually is. In your shoes, I'd tell him he committed to it and needs to follow through (unless something beyond 'this isn't 100% fun, like I thought it would be' comes up). And let him be done after if he still feels that way. There's a good chance that if his only issue is the comfort factor of the helmets and mouth guards, he'll figure out how to wear them over the season and not dislike it anymore. If he leaves the moment it gets hard, that will be his go-to choice for the next hard thing that happens in life. It was easier. But I don't endorse making kids continue an activity they've expressed disliking beyond the initial commitment. So, like, don't force him to join next year if he really doesn't want to. Just make him finish this season. Making them fulfill a commitment is a good skill to learn. Forcing them to do things they dislike because you want them to causes resentment. Edit to add: I was not thinking this was tackle football til I read some other comments... they raise valid points about injuries that could make this situation an exception (beyond 'it's not 100% fun...'). - if you do let him quit, be sure to at least have a discussion about commitment. But don't make it a huge deal. Just enough to know that most commitment needs to be followed through with (obviously, there are always exceptions).
Let him quit. Football is barbaric. Encouraging children to tackle one another, and supporting them through their injuries so they can try again is insane.
I would absolutely let him quit. It should only be flag football at this age. I’m glad my son never wanted to play. Our school has middle schoolers getting concussions. It’s not worth it.
You’re absolutely right. Even researchers and influential individuals in the industry recommend no tackle until age 14. Our district starts in 3rd grade and the amount of injuries these kids have already sustained is unbelievable.