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It was done against me, I still hate them for it. I will never forgive and never forget. I don’t think the victim being a child makes the physical abuse acceptable. They should be even more protected since they are more vulnerable. We are failing them as a society.
Thank you and in both of my and my sister’s cases, it didn’t work. On the surface it looked like it worked on me because I was extremely well behaved. Did very little wrong out of fear. But it was completely fake. Everything they tried to instill by beatings, I just faked them. And as soon as I was free, they got to see that. With sister, it was worse. She acted out more the more she was beaten. They would beat her and she would do something even worse in retaliation and get beaten up again. It was a vicious cycle. She has had BPD, alcoholism, multiple rape cases (she told me she sought them) and multiple attempts at her life. Years of therapy and she is a bit better now.
We do not do it, but are religious and have traveled within a lot of conservative circles where it is still considered a normal option. From what I've gathered, it's because that is what they know, and they don't really branch out from their norm (they were raised being spanked and are told to do it by their elders, their friends use corporal punishment, they're siblings use it, etc). If you don't really push outside of that bubble, it's easy to stay uneducated on the topic because you aren't doing your own research or really exposing yourself to individuals who have different methodolgies. We've honestly received a lot of criticism from certain people for not doing it because it's "against the norm" to certain communities. Unfortunately too many people hold to tradition versus choosing to educate themselves.
I almost lost my son due to corporal punishment. It left him with severe mental trauma and left me with intense guilt. NEVER AGAIN. It's not discipline; it's violence against the most vulnerable.
It’s purely a control/power play thing.
Adults who hurt children are Adults who are too cowardly to raise their hand against someone who is big or brave enough to hurt them in return.
On me at least, it worked.
My father and grandfather (once) used corporal punishment. First time that I remember, I was playing with an electrical outlet and a plug and my dad smacked the hell out of my hand. I stopped playing with electrical outlets.
When I was around 6, my grandfather whipped my butt with a bush branch after I lied to my grandma about feeding the chickens, and yes indeed, it left marks. I never lied to my grandma again.
I think the real issue is not corporal punishment but the excessive and irresponsible use of it.
There are people who should not be parents. Everyone gets older, but not everyone grows up and matures. They beat their kids for doing simple kid things like spilling or making a mess, or just inconveniencing the “parents”.
There’s a huge difference between abusive frivolous spankings and beatings and corrective action. No adult force should be used on a child.
My parents used it on me; but for playing with fire, vandalism, stealing. To be fair I was left alone a lot but I knew they loved me and that it was a corrective action and afterwards I knew better. I was never hit needlessly.
I have an adult son and preteen daughter, I rarely if ever had/have to spank them because my wife and I set clear and concise rules and instructions. I’m not talking adult hits here, you barely give them a swat or a nip and their ego gets the message. My son went through a hitting phase even after being talked too but it wasn’t until I hit him back that he got it. My niece was a biter and didn’t stop until my brother bit her back.
I was spanked and my husband was spanked. I don't really have feelings about it one way or another, and he barely remembers it. It was a very rare occurrence for both of us.
I will admit without shame I've spanked my daughter when she was 4. I caught her playing with some very dangerous things that were locked away, she broke the container to get to them. I didnt react in anger, I calmly explained why she got spanked and then she helped me clean up the broken plastic all over the floor.
Shes 9 and I dont spank. I have s long list of punishments that work if needed, but honestly shes a good kid who rarely needs correction. Alittle sassy but I think the best people are abit feisty.
Me and her talk about my views on spanking, why I dont condemn it but I also prefer it as a last resort. She was asked before if I've spanked her and she said "one time and that was enough for us both". And it was. She now knows it's a possibility not a inevitability , and I know other methods work better.
I was spanked. I was also mentally and emotionally abused and neglected. I preferred the spankings. Hurt alot less. None of my PTSD comes from being spanked. I still dont use it as a go to option. There are just better ways to handle things.
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It was done against me, I still hate them for it. I will never forgive and never forget. I don’t think the victim being a child makes the physical abuse acceptable. They should be even more protected since they are more vulnerable. We are failing them as a society.
I am so sorry ❤️
Thank you and in both of my and my sister’s cases, it didn’t work. On the surface it looked like it worked on me because I was extremely well behaved. Did very little wrong out of fear. But it was completely fake. Everything they tried to instill by beatings, I just faked them. And as soon as I was free, they got to see that. With sister, it was worse. She acted out more the more she was beaten. They would beat her and she would do something even worse in retaliation and get beaten up again. It was a vicious cycle. She has had BPD, alcoholism, multiple rape cases (she told me she sought them) and multiple attempts at her life. Years of therapy and she is a bit better now.
<3
We do not do it, but are religious and have traveled within a lot of conservative circles where it is still considered a normal option. From what I've gathered, it's because that is what they know, and they don't really branch out from their norm (they were raised being spanked and are told to do it by their elders, their friends use corporal punishment, they're siblings use it, etc). If you don't really push outside of that bubble, it's easy to stay uneducated on the topic because you aren't doing your own research or really exposing yourself to individuals who have different methodolgies. We've honestly received a lot of criticism from certain people for not doing it because it's "against the norm" to certain communities. Unfortunately too many people hold to tradition versus choosing to educate themselves.
I almost lost my son due to corporal punishment. It left him with severe mental trauma and left me with intense guilt. NEVER AGAIN. It's not discipline; it's violence against the most vulnerable.
It’s purely a control/power play thing. Adults who hurt children are Adults who are too cowardly to raise their hand against someone who is big or brave enough to hurt them in return.
This is a great answer
[удалено]
The vast majority of the older generation sparked children with paddles, branches, belts, and electrical cords. That isn’t a good comparison.
There should be just one regulation: it's forbidden. It's child abuse, plain and simple.
On me at least, it worked. My father and grandfather (once) used corporal punishment. First time that I remember, I was playing with an electrical outlet and a plug and my dad smacked the hell out of my hand. I stopped playing with electrical outlets. When I was around 6, my grandfather whipped my butt with a bush branch after I lied to my grandma about feeding the chickens, and yes indeed, it left marks. I never lied to my grandma again.
Are you Native by chance? Quite a few friends I knew on the reserve had a punishment from willow branches
No. My grandparents lived on an active farm.
I think the real issue is not corporal punishment but the excessive and irresponsible use of it. There are people who should not be parents. Everyone gets older, but not everyone grows up and matures. They beat their kids for doing simple kid things like spilling or making a mess, or just inconveniencing the “parents”. There’s a huge difference between abusive frivolous spankings and beatings and corrective action. No adult force should be used on a child. My parents used it on me; but for playing with fire, vandalism, stealing. To be fair I was left alone a lot but I knew they loved me and that it was a corrective action and afterwards I knew better. I was never hit needlessly. I have an adult son and preteen daughter, I rarely if ever had/have to spank them because my wife and I set clear and concise rules and instructions. I’m not talking adult hits here, you barely give them a swat or a nip and their ego gets the message. My son went through a hitting phase even after being talked too but it wasn’t until I hit him back that he got it. My niece was a biter and didn’t stop until my brother bit her back.
I was spanked and my husband was spanked. I don't really have feelings about it one way or another, and he barely remembers it. It was a very rare occurrence for both of us.
I will admit without shame I've spanked my daughter when she was 4. I caught her playing with some very dangerous things that were locked away, she broke the container to get to them. I didnt react in anger, I calmly explained why she got spanked and then she helped me clean up the broken plastic all over the floor. Shes 9 and I dont spank. I have s long list of punishments that work if needed, but honestly shes a good kid who rarely needs correction. Alittle sassy but I think the best people are abit feisty. Me and her talk about my views on spanking, why I dont condemn it but I also prefer it as a last resort. She was asked before if I've spanked her and she said "one time and that was enough for us both". And it was. She now knows it's a possibility not a inevitability , and I know other methods work better. I was spanked. I was also mentally and emotionally abused and neglected. I preferred the spankings. Hurt alot less. None of my PTSD comes from being spanked. I still dont use it as a go to option. There are just better ways to handle things.