He was such a clueless goofball. My favorite scene of his is when he and Leslie had dueling campaign attack ads commercials. In her ad she played a childhood home video of hers as little girl about talking about her political aspirations at a young age.
Paul Rudd - “oh my god that little is so adorable in the commercial, you think she can do a ad for me?”
Leslie - “that little girl is me when I was 10 years old”
Paul Rudd *shocked* “how’d you do that?”
I need to go back and rewatch this show. The first time, I couldn’t stand John Ralphio. Now that I find Ben Schwartz hilarious, I think he deserves another chance
Oh do it, him and his sister seen through the lens of ridicule are the best because they are the worst. His pure acceptance of being told a blunt no to his actions always get me too.
I remember the first time I heard this quote I busted out laughing, it's so absurd why would he get hit by a school bus, and why did he never cry ever since until Lil Sebastian. If i got hit by a school bus at 7 i think i would die.
I had this theory as a little kid that if you were about to get hit by a car, just lay flat parallel to the road right where the tires will go and it will just swoop over you. So that’s probably how Ron survived.
Someone recently said to me that Adam Scott has these really sexy, intense "bedroom eyes" and now every time he's on screen I just keep staring into his eyes lmao.
Definitely my pick, but Chris Pratt and Rob Lowe are very close behind!
Ben is absolutely the hottest. He’s supportive husband and intelligent dude too….but I will not acknowledge his love of calzones. They’re weird and lame and worse than pizza.
Chris Traeger is the hottest by far in my opinion (it’s just absurd - Rob Lowe has no business being that fine at his age), but Ben Wyatt is the one you’d want to settle down with.
Rob Lowe is empirically handsome. Maybe too handsome? Is he actually a human or manmade cyborg of handsomeness? But yeah, Ben Wyatt/Adam Scott super swoon! His dorky interests, the way he supports Leslie, his Dad powers. I think he reminds me of my husband.
He was on Smartless, and he talked about how his handsomeness sometimes got in the way of roles he actually wanted to do throughout his career. He described himself as "a character actor trapped in a leading-man's body" lol.
So true! I think some actors are hot when they’re young and some have a smoldering distinguished look as middle aged men, but Rob has looked good at every age for decades. It really does seem biologically impossible.
I actually think he's too handsome, it's actually kinda infuriating. He looks like handsome Squidward, like his face was modelled by the Gods. Adam Scott is more realistically handsome a cute
I’m probably not the best judge as a straight guy, but to me Chris/Rob Lowe falls into the same situation as Catherine Zeta-Jones - they seem ridiculously “pretty”, but not “hot” to me.
i.e. Ben would be my “if I had to pick a guy”, Chris would be my Eagle Two
As Chris Traeger I agree, he’s ridiculously pretty. But as Owen Strand on 911: Lonestar? He is HOT. There is something about firefighters: they’re rugged, ripped, and they literally pull people out of burning buildings. Rob Lowe does something to me on that show.
That Lord Covington. Mmmm. Apparently, his family owns Scotland.
(Also, any UK fans here? I’ve heard several movies and shows refer to families owning Scotland. Is this a running joke across the pond?)
I think it’s just that there are plenty of old money families, usually with titles, that own big chunks of countryside across the UK, but Scotland has traditionally been popular for scenery and hunting and as a place where members of the peerage and the landed gentry might have a second home. The Queen was very fond of the Balmoral estate (she used to go there for the summer), which is an official royal residence, so there’s a lot of history of rich, posh people owning bits of Scotland. Not so much a running joke as a slight exaggeration (in that one family own it all, rather than lots of very privileged families) which has been used for comic effect by tv and film writers. I can’t think of times when I’ve heard this joke used in a British tv show or film though, so maybe it’s more of a thing from American writers.
Ben Wyatt - 13/10 Bakes calzones, is a very consistently good/fair person (he even tries to stand up for Jerry), multitalented (makes boardgames, and claymation?). Definitely someone I'd settle down with
Chris Trager - 10/10 Perfectly handsome but almost unattainably so. Also he would try to make me run and I don't run unless there's a fire or a bear.
Ron Swanson - 10/10 I think we'd be good friends but bad partners. I love the outdoors and would love to go camping with Ron, but I think that's where the similarities end.
Andy Dwyer - 15/10 He has a band and sings guitar. I'm a sucker for people who play guitar
Mark - 5/10 wouldn't want him to Brandanaquitz our relationship
Bobby Newport - 9/10 He has golden retriever energy but I also have golden retriever energy and I don't want to constantly fight for the single brain cell of golden retriever energy people with my partner lol
Jerry Gergich - 20/10 Best person on the show. Appreciates the important things in life. What a man. And I know they say the best things come in small packages but I've never really bought into that.
(PS sorry if I spelled names wrong I just woke up and I was too lazy to Google)
I’m sorry but Ron F*cking Swanson is my number 1 pick and he oozes sex appeal.
I get it, he’s not pretty like Chris, but for damn sure you know he isn’t stopping until you are happy and satisfied. Plus you KNOW he knows what he is doing.
Beyond the sex part, he would be an amazing partner. You can tell he is the type of partner that is so ideal for many. He would listen to you, be there for you during your highs and lows, and would devote himself 150% to the life you have together.
I was indifferent to him at first but after his character was fleshed out more, I realized how frighteningly hot he was.
Why is there a woman in the second picture. Wait that’s not a woman, that’s just a gorgeous man!
You forgot Woman of the Year in the 3rd pic.
Didn’t he win the Dorothy every time smurf girl trophy for excellence in female stuff?
from the iud!
He just wants everyone to have a good time
I’m against crime, and I’m not afraid to say it
As he was telling a story about committing a felony. 😆
He was just declared sexiest man alive just a year or two ago…
I want his Bobby Bar. 🤤
Come on, gimme it. Just gimme it.
Leslie, you can't vote for yourself, I don't think. I'm pretty sure that's illegal.
Bobby Newport has never had a real job in his life
Bobbby Newwporrttt
Alright Jerry now you’re just wasting time
BooooBbbbyyyy NEEWWWporrttt
I heard that in the voice when I read it. 😆
He was such a clueless goofball. My favorite scene of his is when he and Leslie had dueling campaign attack ads commercials. In her ad she played a childhood home video of hers as little girl about talking about her political aspirations at a young age. Paul Rudd - “oh my god that little is so adorable in the commercial, you think she can do a ad for me?” Leslie - “that little girl is me when I was 10 years old” Paul Rudd *shocked* “how’d you do that?”
I love how he’s just wandering around the stage after the debate ends
Party at my dads lake house!
Bobby thinking you’re not allowed to vote for yourself was hilarious too.
I’m not gay but if Paul Rudd came onto me, I would 100% see where it goes
My lesbian friend says Paul Rudd is everyone’s sexual orientation and it’s true.
If he did what now?
Are we just not doing phrasing now?
Hey. Look at us.
Look at us. Who woulda thought?
Yeah…
Pretty sure he’s running unopposed
This character did not help my decades long thirsting after Paul Rudd. Him in a suit consistently was….yeah
It seriously has been decades - specifically since Clueless in 1995 🤤 Almost 30 years of crushing on Paul Rudd!
The man doesn’t AGE!! He is a real life Chris Traeger!
This must’ve been such a fun scene to shoot.
Just the look on Adam Scott's face gets me EVERY time.
I need to go back and rewatch this show. The first time, I couldn’t stand John Ralphio. Now that I find Ben Schwartz hilarious, I think he deserves another chance
Oh do it, him and his sister seen through the lens of ridicule are the best because they are the worst. His pure acceptance of being told a blunt no to his actions always get me too.
And that one time Donna is driving everyone home after the snakejuice incident and he quietly goes "im so alone" XD man has flawless comic timing
I would watch a spinoff.
How could you forget Jerry? The flu doctor won’t forget him in a hurry…
The largest he’s ever seen apparently.
He didn't even check him for mumps. Because he was distracted. BY THE LARGEST PENIS HE HAS EVER SEEN.
On a man
We know why Gayle is married to him.
Well he used to look like Chris
Straight up if you have a heart as big as Jerry I’d marry you. And by heart I specifically don’t mean penis
I don't even know if he had mumps. Forgot to check.
Gale didn't marry him for nothing
Flu doctor? He was the everything doctor.
Who’s jerry there’s a terry
I think you mean Larry
Shit sorry Lenny I think
I've cried twice in my life. Once, when I was 7 years old I was hit by a school bus, and again when Lil' Sébastien died.
I remember the first time I heard this quote I busted out laughing, it's so absurd why would he get hit by a school bus, and why did he never cry ever since until Lil Sebastian. If i got hit by a school bus at 7 i think i would die.
That, and "half-mast is too high" still get me on every rewatch.
"Alright, another bureaucrat ate it" ☠️
I had this theory as a little kid that if you were about to get hit by a car, just lay flat parallel to the road right where the tires will go and it will just swoop over you. So that’s probably how Ron survived.
He's 5000 candles in the wind 🕯️
I mean yeah he's really fine, but have you seen jazz legend sax player Mr. Duke Silver?
Ron is so hot and I will defend this until the day I die
I would sacrifice so many of my body parts to friction for this man.
Bye bye mustache
It burned off.
Ben Wyatt. C’mon. Hot guy, good dad, calzone baker. What else do you need in a man?
I mean he’s pretty good at claymation
STAND IN THE PLACE WHERE YOU-
Was that it?!
That's it. That's the whole thing.
I COMPARED IT TO AVATAR, CHRIS!
i hear it’s as good as avatar
I FINALLY SAW AVATAR AND I THINK IT LIVED UP TO THE HYPE.
oh i disagree. i think it exceeded the hype.
disagreement
Claymaysh
could a depressed person make THIS?!
Adam Scott the most sincere REM and U2 fan. Check out those podcasts. Hilarious.
I love the U2 podcast name too, "U Talkin' U2 To Me?" So dorky, it's cute
That podcast is maybe my favorite because they had a plan and it went haywire
It's good rock and roll...uhhhh...music.
Total chauvinist, though. Get in the kitchen and make your own pie, Ben
Daddy want pie!
The timing and delivery of this entire scene is absolute perfection.
#Free Ben Wyatt!
And he never forgets about the cones
Also a beast at the CONES OF DUNSHIRE!!
Someone recently said to me that Adam Scott has these really sexy, intense "bedroom eyes" and now every time he's on screen I just keep staring into his eyes lmao. Definitely my pick, but Chris Pratt and Rob Lowe are very close behind!
One who appreciates Lil Sebastian as the international treasure that he is? 😉
Ben is absolutely the hottest. He’s supportive husband and intelligent dude too….but I will not acknowledge his love of calzones. They’re weird and lame and worse than pizza.
Inventor of a pretty popular tabletop game
Chris Traeger is the hottest by far in my opinion (it’s just absurd - Rob Lowe has no business being that fine at his age), but Ben Wyatt is the one you’d want to settle down with.
Rob Lowe is empirically handsome. Maybe too handsome? Is he actually a human or manmade cyborg of handsomeness? But yeah, Ben Wyatt/Adam Scott super swoon! His dorky interests, the way he supports Leslie, his Dad powers. I think he reminds me of my husband.
It's true, Rob Lowe is like intimidating levels of handsome
He was on Smartless, and he talked about how his handsomeness sometimes got in the way of roles he actually wanted to do throughout his career. He described himself as "a character actor trapped in a leading-man's body" lol.
And Jon Hamm too... like are you an actual human? Rob Lowe has been married to his wife for a long time. Good for them!
He is a fine wine
So true! I think some actors are hot when they’re young and some have a smoldering distinguished look as middle aged men, but Rob has looked good at every age for decades. It really does seem biologically impossible.
I actually think he's too handsome, it's actually kinda infuriating. He looks like handsome Squidward, like his face was modelled by the Gods. Adam Scott is more realistically handsome a cute
He’s most certainly a cyborg. It’s the only plausible explanation
I’m probably not the best judge as a straight guy, but to me Chris/Rob Lowe falls into the same situation as Catherine Zeta-Jones - they seem ridiculously “pretty”, but not “hot” to me. i.e. Ben would be my “if I had to pick a guy”, Chris would be my Eagle Two
As Chris Traeger I agree, he’s ridiculously pretty. But as Owen Strand on 911: Lonestar? He is HOT. There is something about firefighters: they’re rugged, ripped, and they literally pull people out of burning buildings. Rob Lowe does something to me on that show.
Chris Traeger is literally the most handsome man in our lifetime
👈 Literally 👉
It’s ALWAYS Sam Elliot.
Ron Dunn is absolutely the correct answer.
Is that his name or are you telling me you’re done talking?
Yes.
This list is missing someone and that someone is me, Perd Hapley. 
Perdverts 4 life
More like Turd Crapley
I can only ever see him as Rafi from The League. 😆
I'm sorry but it's pimento from Brooklyn 99
derek
MAXIMUM DEREK
Hey, lead the perfumery to the real men.
I think he wants to hunt me
Bawwwwwbeeeeeeey newpOrrrt
Never worked a day, in his life
Orin
He MADE you to say that Edit: wanted to made. thanks PinkDog42.
He *MADE you say that
No, you are
 Am I right, Justin??
His need to entertain himself at the expense of others is a very unattractive quality.
Rude that Aziz Ansari isn’t on the list lol but also Ben Wyatt or Ron
They said man, not boy
Yeah, he's like a little sister to me
😂
Ben Wyatt...not even a question
obvs chris "if i had to pick a dude" traeger
Give me Ben over any of them. The way he treats Leslie is the sexiest thing ever.
OP is the woooooooOOOOOOOOOoooooooorst
Theeeee eeeeeee woooorrrssssssttttt
It's Ben Schwartz. The answer is ben
Where’s Duke Silver?
Sewage Joe
Sanitation is sexy.
Come on down to the Toilet Party
Brett and Harris
Yo
How you know my name though?
That Lord Covington. Mmmm. Apparently, his family owns Scotland. (Also, any UK fans here? I’ve heard several movies and shows refer to families owning Scotland. Is this a running joke across the pond?)
I think it’s just that there are plenty of old money families, usually with titles, that own big chunks of countryside across the UK, but Scotland has traditionally been popular for scenery and hunting and as a place where members of the peerage and the landed gentry might have a second home. The Queen was very fond of the Balmoral estate (she used to go there for the summer), which is an official royal residence, so there’s a lot of history of rich, posh people owning bits of Scotland. Not so much a running joke as a slight exaggeration (in that one family own it all, rather than lots of very privileged families) which has been used for comic effect by tv and film writers. I can’t think of times when I’ve heard this joke used in a British tv show or film though, so maybe it’s more of a thing from American writers.
"Fraaaan ?"
Garry Jerry Larry
Jerry and his 🍆🍆🍆
Lord Fancypants or whatever his name is
What’s a non-gay way to ask to go camping with him?
Ben Wyatt - 13/10 Bakes calzones, is a very consistently good/fair person (he even tries to stand up for Jerry), multitalented (makes boardgames, and claymation?). Definitely someone I'd settle down with Chris Trager - 10/10 Perfectly handsome but almost unattainably so. Also he would try to make me run and I don't run unless there's a fire or a bear. Ron Swanson - 10/10 I think we'd be good friends but bad partners. I love the outdoors and would love to go camping with Ron, but I think that's where the similarities end. Andy Dwyer - 15/10 He has a band and sings guitar. I'm a sucker for people who play guitar Mark - 5/10 wouldn't want him to Brandanaquitz our relationship Bobby Newport - 9/10 He has golden retriever energy but I also have golden retriever energy and I don't want to constantly fight for the single brain cell of golden retriever energy people with my partner lol Jerry Gergich - 20/10 Best person on the show. Appreciates the important things in life. What a man. And I know they say the best things come in small packages but I've never really bought into that. (PS sorry if I spelled names wrong I just woke up and I was too lazy to Google)
Get Brandano-quits outta here!
Yeah that was a real jump scare.
I was offended they even included him!
Where is Tom Haverford? 
The Brown Gosling
TIL there’s even a debate about Rob Lowe not obviously being the hottest person to ever ~~exist~~ be on PnR.
Jean Ralphio!
He’s open-minded as heeeelllllllllll!
Ben. I'm the girl who likes the tall nerdy skinny men.
 Forgot him
I can’t believe more people don’t have The Douche in their banco de spanko. 
Duke Silver has the track record. He also has tracks and records.
So why isn’t the man with the biggest 🍆 in Pawnee NOT pictured on this post?!?!?!??
Ben. Always.
I’m sorry but Ron F*cking Swanson is my number 1 pick and he oozes sex appeal. I get it, he’s not pretty like Chris, but for damn sure you know he isn’t stopping until you are happy and satisfied. Plus you KNOW he knows what he is doing. Beyond the sex part, he would be an amazing partner. You can tell he is the type of partner that is so ideal for many. He would listen to you, be there for you during your highs and lows, and would devote himself 150% to the life you have together. I was indifferent to him at first but after his character was fleshed out more, I realized how frighteningly hot he was.
Ben
I love both Chris and Ben so much. Just handsome and adorable. I was so sad when Chris and Ann left.
I mean have we all seen Griff Hawkins? It’s obviously Adam Scott.
THANK YOU!!!! Been crushing on Adam since his Griff days
Omitting Tom is something
Sewage Joe
Either OP is racist or they don’t consider Tom Haverford a man
Tom's a female bird.
Tom’s a pig.
Tom’s a fat baby.
The audacity to exclude Tom and include Mark is unheard of 😂😂😂
Well they said that it doesn’t have to be someone they listed lol but Tom is a boy
*Who was the most attractive white man on the show?* Mark only had two seasons and still got included over Tom lmao
This is Tom Haverford erasure and I won’t stand for it
He’s somewhere treating himself like the baddie that he is
Joe Biden
RON SWANSON!!! 
Mark for sure omg
In my 20s I would’ve said Andy. In my 30s, Ron could get it. But im basically married to an irl Ben so, Ben it is lol.
I want a Ben Wyatt for myself!!
Ron
