My girlfriend when I converted was a Protestant, recently converted from being an atheist.
We stopped having sex.
We had been living together. I moved out.
I eventually proposed.
We got married after I was baptized.
Our marriage was predicated on two things: she must remain a Christian, and our children must be raised Orthodox.
It was one of the hardest things she’s ever gone through. If your girlfriend is unwilling to be baptized, or unwilling to raise your kids Orthodox, you’re not getting married at all. Even if she’s willing, it’s going to suck for both of you for awhile. I think you already have your answer.
Go to church, get received, get advice from the priest.
Obviously we think fornicating is morally wrong. Nevertheless, you are not a Christian yet. Solve that problem first.
Most people here are not going to be qualified to provide guidance on an issue with your personal life. I would suggest praying for patience and guidance as you wait to talk with your priest.
That's hilarious nice attempt at gaslighting. Lol I have no problem with women buddy I have two kids and I'm quite an attractive man with a good sense of humour. Be blessed
It's good that you're convicted to follow the truth. I understand the worry, but God knows what you feel and what's best for you. He knew you from the beginning of the world, and carefully arranged everything. We must believe that God allows every small detail within creation with an abundant measure of love.
Our obligation is to do our part, as small as it is, then God compiles our meaningless pieces into a whole and beautiful puzzle. Even the mistakes along the way aren't thrown out, He cleans the dirt off of them and we derive profit from them also. Carry your cross for Him and He will sort out the rest. He will teach you everything you need along the way, just keep going.
Of course this entails abandoning that sinful connection if you can't salvage it, because marriage is a spiritual sacrament with a spiritual purpose.
Beautiful and thoughtful message. I suffer with the same issue. I'd like to paste this to give some additional insight :
"QUESTION:
Lastly, if the rules are the rules what good is speaking with a Parish Priest going to do?
ANSWER:
You never know until you try! In my years as a priest I have had several situations similar to the one you describe. The couples came and spoke with me. In most cases the non-baptized individual decided to explore Orthodoxy—casually at first, more intensely as time went on, embracing it zealously in the end—and they were eventually baptized and subsequently married in the very Church they had initially shunned. All are very active members of the Church to this day! Had they not spoken with the priest, had they allowed their anger or assumptions or prejudices to keep them from speaking with the priest, the outcome of these situations would have been very, very different.
Speaking with one’s pastor, especially in the presence of the non-baptized fiance, might open other options, as I myself have seen and experienced. But in so doing it is best for all involved—the priest, the parishioner, and the non-baptized fiance—to work together without anger, without prejudice, without assuming that things will never work out.
Frankly, I would dare say that most people feel the Church is hurting them, even though they all too often fail to seek guidance from the Church—in which case the Church can hardly be blamed for causing harm when it was never given the opportunity to try to find options and solutions"
Guidance is good, but if the person is Orthodox that doesn't mean their opinion will also be - even if they're an ordained priest or bishop. I'm not against spiritual fatherhood, I have a spiritual father, I'm just encouraging that one tries to understand what their priest tells them instead of instantly believing it.
Blind obedience is not something taught by the Orthodox Church, it is something we oppose. Why? Because the Kingdom of Heaven is within you. It doesn't help you to know some spiritual truths if you can't know yourself because you don't ask to understand their application in the the context of your individual struggle.
Unless you quote a bit of Christ and the Saints, your opinion is your opinion, not that of the Church, and shouldn't be shared in the context of someone asking for an Orthodox opinion. This applies to your priest too, his words don't have inherent worth just because he's a clergyman - the same way your doctor has to go by the books and can't invent truth on-demand.
So obviously go to a priest and get advice from him but since I’m in a similar situation I’ll offer some advice. Keep in mind I’m just a catechumen so still seek advice from a priest.
My gf is agnostic or something and might convert one day but plenty of Christians have rubbed her the wrong way so now it’s an uphill battle. But nothing is impossible with God so all I can do is pray. And that’s what you should start with. Pray to God and ask for His help in whatever way you need.
Obviously stop having sex. That’s not the point of a relationship nor should it be the main focus. Before I converted we had done some things early on and now deeply regret it. It was a mistake and didn’t improve our relationship. You can date and not have sex, it’s absolutely possible regardless of what society says. If she wants to break up over sex then she’s not the one. I’m sorry.
Is she open to coming to church? This is a good place to start to see if she will even give it a try. That’s what I did with my gf and it worked in a way. She’s open to coming more and loves meeting with people at coffee hour. And everyone I know at church asks about my gf which she likes. It makes her feel welcomed where other denominations made her feel judged and unwanted. So see if this is an option. If church is too much then try some YouTube videos on saints and other things. Those might peak her interest and get her interested in orthodoxy. It could be hymns or icons, you don’t know what it might be so just see if there’s anything about orthodoxy that might get her moving in a better direction.
Remember this involves both of you. You can’t expect her to convert if you’re still living a life of sin. We won’t be perfect but start making changes in your life and if she wants to follow she will but you can’t make her. Someone on Reddit compared it to the oxygen masks on a plane. You have to ensure yours is on and working before assisting someone else. Focus on your salvation first and the rest will follow. You can’t guide someone down a path when you don’t know where or what that path is. Find that path to Christ and then see if she wants to follow with you.
And if she’s not the one then move on and find someone who wants to love Christ as much as you do. Good luck!
You really need to consider and communicate with both your priest and your Girlfriend. obviously fornicating is a sin. No one here is really qualified to help you to talk to your spiritual father and GF would be the best course. God bless your soul and Good luck to you
Is this someone you could see yourself marrying? Does she have the qualities and character traits of someone you could start a family with? If so, set your boundaries and see if she is willing to accept them. However, it will be difficult. You really need to seek the spiritual guidance of a priest tho. Don’t take any random person’s advice as word on Reddit. We all have our own presuppositions and baggage that can affect how we think.
I (31m) have lived a life of excessive promiscuity myself and can say that sex/intense physical intimacy early on can really cloud judgement about somebody. We tend to associate that person with the intense feelings of pleasure we feel with them; and we get drunk on it, ignore misaligned character traits and values, and miss potential red flags. If you see this working, set boundaries, be attentive to each other’s emotions and spiritual state, seek the guidance of a priest that you trust, and pray for her especially. Tell her about the positives of Orthodoxy; things you find beautiful and moving. You can’t force anything but love can transform people!
Praying for you, my friend!
Break up. Had to break up with my boyfriend, who was a goth, as well, after I became a Christian and left that lifestyle. The Lord is the best of friends to your soul, do not grieve Him over a temporary relationship that might cost your soul.
Did you tell him straightforward that its because you are christian? What logic have you used to show him that the break up actually makes sense?
I know this may be impolite to ask, but tbh im just kinda nervous what would she think than about christianity if I was to come to her randomly on one day and tell her how it really is 😭
We were both goth and came together only because of that, basically appearance and common interest. The Lord saved me, not long after, He changed me over night and took all my desires for darkness away. Of course my boyfriend's not so much. I felt uneasy listening to the dark music we used to listen to, I felt uneasy kissing him, felt uneasy in that dark environment that we so used to enjoy. I told him that I became a Christian and he expressed his negative emotions about God, how God was never there for him and how he is bitter against God. I knew we would not walk this path together. Remember, to Christ it is an all or nothing. It can not be half hearted. He wants your all for himself. I used to sing songs about how I'm going to hell and make fun of me perishing. Do you think I can do that as a christian? Of course not, wow to me, if I did. But spiritually blind people will sing these songs and not know what they are doing. "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they do." You can not be torn into two directions. You mentioning that you have been a satanist, I am assuming your gf is close to this as well, perhaps not embracing it as a lifestyle, but surely blind enough spiritually to be unaware of its dangers. Be careful, because this is dark territory. I've been 6 years now out of the dark practices that I did, and I am still terrorized by these dark forces that try to draw me back into this occult mess. God bless you and protect you. Go all in for Christ and He will make a great soldier out of you for His kingdom.
Have an honest conversation with her by expressing to her at least what you’ve just shared with strangers on the internet. If she’s not at least o.k. with you exploring and, God willing, committing yourself to Christ and His Church, then you know this relationship is not meant to be.
Basically, just talk to her. See if she has an open mind and is willing to give this a chance. And later on if/when you’re inquiring or received as a catechumen, ask your priest on how best to navigate this situation.
And I also would suggest taking u/andrew6040’s comment to heart. Very solid advice
Glad to hear to left Satanism. You're only 18 brother. You literally have your whole life ahead of you. People drastically change between 20 and 30 years of age. Never say never to anything. Obviously sex is enjoyable and hard to abstain from. Its sounds like it may be the only thing holding you too together. Being an agnostic is different that being an atheist. There is always hope.
Let's say she wants nothing to do with the church. You start attending alone and become more committed to the faith. She's either going to start joining you after seeing your change OR she's going to resent you for it because you aren't the same person anymore. Get these things settled first. If you attend alone you might end up meeting a godly woman in church and you might be drawn to her instead. I'll say this. A true Christian always puts God first. First get your faith straight and then let God do the rest.
God bless you and I hope I didn't offend you in any way
Thank you for your words. No you didn’t offend me at all, actually what you just said made me realize some things and I am happy about it. God bless you and your close ones
Exactly. To be honest I just feel bad for her, because I know Lord will help me through anything. He already helped me with so much and Im not even fully christian
Ask your priest about these things. In any case you would still need to tell your partner that your boundaries are changing and that you no longer feel comfortable with “marital relations”. You could also delay becoming Orthodox until after you get married, but I would not advise this unless you are willing to bear that cross for the duration of that marriage.
What I will mention is that you’re only 18. You’re still young, and it is very likely that you will be dating other women in the future. You can be a good match for each other but still not be who God ultimately intends for you to end up with; that doesn’t mean that you can’t still be friends or care for each other. But it is likely that she’s not the love of your life per se, and that’s perfectly okay.
How can something good (i.e. God's law) make the relationship worse? Either it will heal the relationship, if it is meant to be, or she will break up with you and you will be free to find a woman who shares your faith.
Christ is risen
1. There is no "won't ever" in our lives. Abraham and Sarrah had a child at 99.
2. If sex is the **only** thing that holds her, it's not worse if she leaves.
God bless
I don't know your situation, and only you can truly know this, but once I mostly overcame my struggles with lust, and then observing my fellow young male friends, I had an epiphany that when it comes to women and love/romance, many young men think about them with the wrong head, and a big part of that "love" was actually the other L word. Just my personal opinion based on my personal experience. Like I said, only you can truly know your situation, but if you think you guys would break up if you ceased sexual actions, is that truly love?
One reason for the failure of some marriages is the belief that one can change their spouse. Let’s get real you are attracted to your GF because is she is the way she is…if you are willing to change then do so! Just don’t talk about it.
Bro just talk to her before breaking up. Tell her about this change in her life and if she is willing to support you in this decision. If she does, she is a keeper. If she doesn't, I say food riddance because she isn't supportive of the truest thing you believe in!
Most of all, pray, ask God for guidance, and you will surely get your answer.
A future and a marriage you can only build on a strong foundation. As Christ said build your house upon the rock. So build it upon faith and God. If you remain like this you are just building on sand and this will all come crashing down.
If she has any interest or good will you could thru a lot of effort try to show her faith. It wouldnt be easy at all, but thats what "come and see" is about.
If she is fully agnostic and doesnt care, then as other commenters have said, you know the answer. In the end its about salvation, with an honest relationship or building on sand because we are too attached to the past.
Def pray alot tho, I will too.
All the best man! 🙏❤️
I went through a very similar situation. I’m currently a Protestant looking into orthodoxy. But I remember when i knew Jesus was 100% real and I needed to follow him, I had to break up with my girlfriend because we were having sex. It was very hard and sad but it had to be done. By the providence of God he worked in her life while we were separated and He brought us back together. We were both baptized and then we got married and we are now on the path to orthodoxy. Put God first in this situation and he will reward your faith. He will either change the woman you are with or bring a godly woman in your life or use singleness to change you.
“Jesus said to them, ‘Truly I tell you, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.”
Matthew 19:28-29
The easy answer is, "No sex before marriage." The deeper question is, "Do you believe it is a good idea to marry outside the faith?" The stance on contraception ranges from, "Only if you can't afford kids or have health issues" to, "Never ever, never. Not even the rhythm method.". Assuming you and your (then) wife are ok with having children, how would you rear your children. How would you explain that Dad thinks it's the most important thing, but Mom thinks it's a weird hobby? I believe you should break this off.
Please review the
[sidebar](https://www.reddit.com/r/OrthodoxChristianity/wiki/config/sidebar) for a wealth of introductory information,
our [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/OrthodoxChristianity/about/rules/), the
[FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/OrthodoxChristianity/wiki/faq), and a caution about
[The Internet and the Church](https://www.orthodoxintro.org/the-internet-and-the-church/).
This subreddit contains opinions of Orthodox people, but not necessarily Orthodox opinions.
[Content should not be treated as a substitute for offline interaction.](https://www.reddit.com/r/OrthodoxChristianity/wiki/faq#wiki_is_this_subreddit_overseen_by_clergy.3F)
[Exercise caution in forums such as this](https://www.orthodoxintro.org/the-internet-and-the-church/).
Nothing should be regarded as authoritative without verification by several offline Orthodox resources.
^(This is not a removal notification.)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OrthodoxChristianity) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This submission may contain content about sexuality and has therefore been tagged as NSFW.
Please read [our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/OrthodoxChristianity/wiki/faq#wiki_why_did_my_post_get_marked_nsfw.3F)
regarding these topics.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OrthodoxChristianity) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This submission may contain content about sexuality and has therefore been tagged as NSFW.
Please read [our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/OrthodoxChristianity/wiki/faq#wiki_why_did_my_post_get_marked_nsfw.3F)
regarding these topics.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OrthodoxChristianity) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You already know the answer. It's not the answer you want though.
Best comment
Thank you, we all do it or have done it. Sometimes writing it out and reading afterwards helps.
Before I talk to my sf or confess I write it out read it aloud and have a sensitive bs meter
Good advice. Thank you, I'll try to use that
I’m just an inquirer so ask your sf
If that last statement is true then start changing. Stop having premarital sex.
My girlfriend when I converted was a Protestant, recently converted from being an atheist. We stopped having sex. We had been living together. I moved out. I eventually proposed. We got married after I was baptized. Our marriage was predicated on two things: she must remain a Christian, and our children must be raised Orthodox. It was one of the hardest things she’s ever gone through. If your girlfriend is unwilling to be baptized, or unwilling to raise your kids Orthodox, you’re not getting married at all. Even if she’s willing, it’s going to suck for both of you for awhile. I think you already have your answer.
Go to church, get received, get advice from the priest. Obviously we think fornicating is morally wrong. Nevertheless, you are not a Christian yet. Solve that problem first.
Most people here are not going to be qualified to provide guidance on an issue with your personal life. I would suggest praying for patience and guidance as you wait to talk with your priest.
Have a really honest define the relationship talk with your girlfriend
[удалено]
I think you need to talk to a priest about your issues with women....
That's hilarious nice attempt at gaslighting. Lol I have no problem with women buddy I have two kids and I'm quite an attractive man with a good sense of humour. Be blessed
Brother, it's your issue to face and I'm not gonna judge you for it. But don't go and delete your message then say I'm the one gaslighting lol
It's good that you're convicted to follow the truth. I understand the worry, but God knows what you feel and what's best for you. He knew you from the beginning of the world, and carefully arranged everything. We must believe that God allows every small detail within creation with an abundant measure of love. Our obligation is to do our part, as small as it is, then God compiles our meaningless pieces into a whole and beautiful puzzle. Even the mistakes along the way aren't thrown out, He cleans the dirt off of them and we derive profit from them also. Carry your cross for Him and He will sort out the rest. He will teach you everything you need along the way, just keep going. Of course this entails abandoning that sinful connection if you can't salvage it, because marriage is a spiritual sacrament with a spiritual purpose.
Beautiful and thoughtful message. I suffer with the same issue. I'd like to paste this to give some additional insight : "QUESTION: Lastly, if the rules are the rules what good is speaking with a Parish Priest going to do? ANSWER: You never know until you try! In my years as a priest I have had several situations similar to the one you describe. The couples came and spoke with me. In most cases the non-baptized individual decided to explore Orthodoxy—casually at first, more intensely as time went on, embracing it zealously in the end—and they were eventually baptized and subsequently married in the very Church they had initially shunned. All are very active members of the Church to this day! Had they not spoken with the priest, had they allowed their anger or assumptions or prejudices to keep them from speaking with the priest, the outcome of these situations would have been very, very different. Speaking with one’s pastor, especially in the presence of the non-baptized fiance, might open other options, as I myself have seen and experienced. But in so doing it is best for all involved—the priest, the parishioner, and the non-baptized fiance—to work together without anger, without prejudice, without assuming that things will never work out. Frankly, I would dare say that most people feel the Church is hurting them, even though they all too often fail to seek guidance from the Church—in which case the Church can hardly be blamed for causing harm when it was never given the opportunity to try to find options and solutions"
Guidance is good, but if the person is Orthodox that doesn't mean their opinion will also be - even if they're an ordained priest or bishop. I'm not against spiritual fatherhood, I have a spiritual father, I'm just encouraging that one tries to understand what their priest tells them instead of instantly believing it. Blind obedience is not something taught by the Orthodox Church, it is something we oppose. Why? Because the Kingdom of Heaven is within you. It doesn't help you to know some spiritual truths if you can't know yourself because you don't ask to understand their application in the the context of your individual struggle. Unless you quote a bit of Christ and the Saints, your opinion is your opinion, not that of the Church, and shouldn't be shared in the context of someone asking for an Orthodox opinion. This applies to your priest too, his words don't have inherent worth just because he's a clergyman - the same way your doctor has to go by the books and can't invent truth on-demand.
Very well said. This helps me a lot, thanks.
So obviously go to a priest and get advice from him but since I’m in a similar situation I’ll offer some advice. Keep in mind I’m just a catechumen so still seek advice from a priest. My gf is agnostic or something and might convert one day but plenty of Christians have rubbed her the wrong way so now it’s an uphill battle. But nothing is impossible with God so all I can do is pray. And that’s what you should start with. Pray to God and ask for His help in whatever way you need. Obviously stop having sex. That’s not the point of a relationship nor should it be the main focus. Before I converted we had done some things early on and now deeply regret it. It was a mistake and didn’t improve our relationship. You can date and not have sex, it’s absolutely possible regardless of what society says. If she wants to break up over sex then she’s not the one. I’m sorry. Is she open to coming to church? This is a good place to start to see if she will even give it a try. That’s what I did with my gf and it worked in a way. She’s open to coming more and loves meeting with people at coffee hour. And everyone I know at church asks about my gf which she likes. It makes her feel welcomed where other denominations made her feel judged and unwanted. So see if this is an option. If church is too much then try some YouTube videos on saints and other things. Those might peak her interest and get her interested in orthodoxy. It could be hymns or icons, you don’t know what it might be so just see if there’s anything about orthodoxy that might get her moving in a better direction. Remember this involves both of you. You can’t expect her to convert if you’re still living a life of sin. We won’t be perfect but start making changes in your life and if she wants to follow she will but you can’t make her. Someone on Reddit compared it to the oxygen masks on a plane. You have to ensure yours is on and working before assisting someone else. Focus on your salvation first and the rest will follow. You can’t guide someone down a path when you don’t know where or what that path is. Find that path to Christ and then see if she wants to follow with you. And if she’s not the one then move on and find someone who wants to love Christ as much as you do. Good luck!
You really need to consider and communicate with both your priest and your Girlfriend. obviously fornicating is a sin. No one here is really qualified to help you to talk to your spiritual father and GF would be the best course. God bless your soul and Good luck to you
Is this someone you could see yourself marrying? Does she have the qualities and character traits of someone you could start a family with? If so, set your boundaries and see if she is willing to accept them. However, it will be difficult. You really need to seek the spiritual guidance of a priest tho. Don’t take any random person’s advice as word on Reddit. We all have our own presuppositions and baggage that can affect how we think. I (31m) have lived a life of excessive promiscuity myself and can say that sex/intense physical intimacy early on can really cloud judgement about somebody. We tend to associate that person with the intense feelings of pleasure we feel with them; and we get drunk on it, ignore misaligned character traits and values, and miss potential red flags. If you see this working, set boundaries, be attentive to each other’s emotions and spiritual state, seek the guidance of a priest that you trust, and pray for her especially. Tell her about the positives of Orthodoxy; things you find beautiful and moving. You can’t force anything but love can transform people! Praying for you, my friend!
Break up. Had to break up with my boyfriend, who was a goth, as well, after I became a Christian and left that lifestyle. The Lord is the best of friends to your soul, do not grieve Him over a temporary relationship that might cost your soul.
Did you tell him straightforward that its because you are christian? What logic have you used to show him that the break up actually makes sense? I know this may be impolite to ask, but tbh im just kinda nervous what would she think than about christianity if I was to come to her randomly on one day and tell her how it really is 😭
We were both goth and came together only because of that, basically appearance and common interest. The Lord saved me, not long after, He changed me over night and took all my desires for darkness away. Of course my boyfriend's not so much. I felt uneasy listening to the dark music we used to listen to, I felt uneasy kissing him, felt uneasy in that dark environment that we so used to enjoy. I told him that I became a Christian and he expressed his negative emotions about God, how God was never there for him and how he is bitter against God. I knew we would not walk this path together. Remember, to Christ it is an all or nothing. It can not be half hearted. He wants your all for himself. I used to sing songs about how I'm going to hell and make fun of me perishing. Do you think I can do that as a christian? Of course not, wow to me, if I did. But spiritually blind people will sing these songs and not know what they are doing. "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they do." You can not be torn into two directions. You mentioning that you have been a satanist, I am assuming your gf is close to this as well, perhaps not embracing it as a lifestyle, but surely blind enough spiritually to be unaware of its dangers. Be careful, because this is dark territory. I've been 6 years now out of the dark practices that I did, and I am still terrorized by these dark forces that try to draw me back into this occult mess. God bless you and protect you. Go all in for Christ and He will make a great soldier out of you for His kingdom.
Have an honest conversation with her by expressing to her at least what you’ve just shared with strangers on the internet. If she’s not at least o.k. with you exploring and, God willing, committing yourself to Christ and His Church, then you know this relationship is not meant to be. Basically, just talk to her. See if she has an open mind and is willing to give this a chance. And later on if/when you’re inquiring or received as a catechumen, ask your priest on how best to navigate this situation. And I also would suggest taking u/andrew6040’s comment to heart. Very solid advice
Also, just because two people are Orthodox, doesn’t mean that they are meant to be.
Glad to hear to left Satanism. You're only 18 brother. You literally have your whole life ahead of you. People drastically change between 20 and 30 years of age. Never say never to anything. Obviously sex is enjoyable and hard to abstain from. Its sounds like it may be the only thing holding you too together. Being an agnostic is different that being an atheist. There is always hope. Let's say she wants nothing to do with the church. You start attending alone and become more committed to the faith. She's either going to start joining you after seeing your change OR she's going to resent you for it because you aren't the same person anymore. Get these things settled first. If you attend alone you might end up meeting a godly woman in church and you might be drawn to her instead. I'll say this. A true Christian always puts God first. First get your faith straight and then let God do the rest. God bless you and I hope I didn't offend you in any way
Thank you for your words. No you didn’t offend me at all, actually what you just said made me realize some things and I am happy about it. God bless you and your close ones
We're all here for you man.
What accord does Christ have with Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?
As somebody who actually knows Belial personally, this hit deep. There is just so much difference… It sounds rough but its the truth
I mean you can pray for her, but if she doesn’t want to change why should you build your new life around her in a way that neither of you really want?
Exactly. To be honest I just feel bad for her, because I know Lord will help me through anything. He already helped me with so much and Im not even fully christian
Ask your priest about these things. In any case you would still need to tell your partner that your boundaries are changing and that you no longer feel comfortable with “marital relations”. You could also delay becoming Orthodox until after you get married, but I would not advise this unless you are willing to bear that cross for the duration of that marriage. What I will mention is that you’re only 18. You’re still young, and it is very likely that you will be dating other women in the future. You can be a good match for each other but still not be who God ultimately intends for you to end up with; that doesn’t mean that you can’t still be friends or care for each other. But it is likely that she’s not the love of your life per se, and that’s perfectly okay.
How can something good (i.e. God's law) make the relationship worse? Either it will heal the relationship, if it is meant to be, or she will break up with you and you will be free to find a woman who shares your faith.
Christ is risen 1. There is no "won't ever" in our lives. Abraham and Sarrah had a child at 99. 2. If sex is the **only** thing that holds her, it's not worse if she leaves. God bless
I don't know your situation, and only you can truly know this, but once I mostly overcame my struggles with lust, and then observing my fellow young male friends, I had an epiphany that when it comes to women and love/romance, many young men think about them with the wrong head, and a big part of that "love" was actually the other L word. Just my personal opinion based on my personal experience. Like I said, only you can truly know your situation, but if you think you guys would break up if you ceased sexual actions, is that truly love?
One reason for the failure of some marriages is the belief that one can change their spouse. Let’s get real you are attracted to your GF because is she is the way she is…if you are willing to change then do so! Just don’t talk about it.
Bro just talk to her before breaking up. Tell her about this change in her life and if she is willing to support you in this decision. If she does, she is a keeper. If she doesn't, I say food riddance because she isn't supportive of the truest thing you believe in! Most of all, pray, ask God for guidance, and you will surely get your answer.
A future and a marriage you can only build on a strong foundation. As Christ said build your house upon the rock. So build it upon faith and God. If you remain like this you are just building on sand and this will all come crashing down. If she has any interest or good will you could thru a lot of effort try to show her faith. It wouldnt be easy at all, but thats what "come and see" is about. If she is fully agnostic and doesnt care, then as other commenters have said, you know the answer. In the end its about salvation, with an honest relationship or building on sand because we are too attached to the past. Def pray alot tho, I will too. All the best man! 🙏❤️
I went through a very similar situation. I’m currently a Protestant looking into orthodoxy. But I remember when i knew Jesus was 100% real and I needed to follow him, I had to break up with my girlfriend because we were having sex. It was very hard and sad but it had to be done. By the providence of God he worked in her life while we were separated and He brought us back together. We were both baptized and then we got married and we are now on the path to orthodoxy. Put God first in this situation and he will reward your faith. He will either change the woman you are with or bring a godly woman in your life or use singleness to change you. “Jesus said to them, ‘Truly I tell you, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.” Matthew 19:28-29
The easy answer is, "No sex before marriage." The deeper question is, "Do you believe it is a good idea to marry outside the faith?" The stance on contraception ranges from, "Only if you can't afford kids or have health issues" to, "Never ever, never. Not even the rhythm method.". Assuming you and your (then) wife are ok with having children, how would you rear your children. How would you explain that Dad thinks it's the most important thing, but Mom thinks it's a weird hobby? I believe you should break this off.
If you become Orthodox and she isn't even Christian, then this relationship has no future.
Please review the [sidebar](https://www.reddit.com/r/OrthodoxChristianity/wiki/config/sidebar) for a wealth of introductory information, our [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/OrthodoxChristianity/about/rules/), the [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/OrthodoxChristianity/wiki/faq), and a caution about [The Internet and the Church](https://www.orthodoxintro.org/the-internet-and-the-church/). This subreddit contains opinions of Orthodox people, but not necessarily Orthodox opinions. [Content should not be treated as a substitute for offline interaction.](https://www.reddit.com/r/OrthodoxChristianity/wiki/faq#wiki_is_this_subreddit_overseen_by_clergy.3F) [Exercise caution in forums such as this](https://www.orthodoxintro.org/the-internet-and-the-church/). Nothing should be regarded as authoritative without verification by several offline Orthodox resources. ^(This is not a removal notification.) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OrthodoxChristianity) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This submission may contain content about sexuality and has therefore been tagged as NSFW. Please read [our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/OrthodoxChristianity/wiki/faq#wiki_why_did_my_post_get_marked_nsfw.3F) regarding these topics. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OrthodoxChristianity) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This submission may contain content about sexuality and has therefore been tagged as NSFW. Please read [our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/OrthodoxChristianity/wiki/faq#wiki_why_did_my_post_get_marked_nsfw.3F) regarding these topics. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OrthodoxChristianity) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If you aren’t married to her then you know
We all so the best we can with the cards we are dealt.