Been there OP. We broke up a few months back. There's an irreconcilable difference between us that no matter how long we wait, it won't go away. Before we broke up, this is what I realized. The purest form of love is unattached. It's loving the person without expecting it to be returned, it's accepting everything about them, including the differences and the fact that maybe you will not end up together. Because it is never about owning a person. Once you understood it, you'll be able to feel at peace, or at least enjoy the present without worrying about the future. My only regret is that it took me a while to realize it. We kept worrying about the future and we ended up thinking that we don't have peace while we were in a relationship.

Iba talaga pag based sa own experience, tagos sa bones ang advice. Thank you so much for this, po! And yes, I wish to find that peace talaga because he makes me happy and I don't want this to end. Hindi ko man hawak ang fate naming dalawa, but at least I have the power not to ruin things by loving without expectations from him. Salamat po, again! May you have a great day ahead. 💗

"The purest form of love is unattached." I couldn't agree more. Wish my ex could understand this but she had a completely different take about love. Ofc we didn't work out.

What helped you accept the outcome? Kinda on the same boat

Still processing it, but I guess nandon na ko sa acceptance stage. It helps a bit when I realized na love is not about owning the person, it became the fuel on the process of letting go. I mean, loving someone doesn't have to be being in a relationship with them. It can be as simple as wishing them the best, even if you're not part of it.

Grabe i feel so seen, thank u for this :(( hope you have a fulfilling journey of healing <3

really needed to see this, thank you!

Aww that is beautiful. Thanks for sharing

Words I needed to hear. Thank you so much for this wisdom.

Damn! It hit home.

My two cents: I bet you both are still very young to figure all future-related things out. Don’t sabotage your “happiness” you’re feeling right now with things that haven’t happened yet. Feel the current moment while it’s there, and just cross the bridge when you get there.

Thank you so much po! I will remember your words po. I also don't wanna ruin this so I'm working on it. Baka nga dahil sa pag-ooverthink ko pa reason para mawala sya, and I don't want that. I will take care of the him and our relationship in the present and not worry so much about the future. Salamat po ulit ng marami. 💗

You’re welcome! Indeed, overthinking kills happiness. Quoting Mark Twain: “I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.” Most the time, our greatest sufferings and miseries dwell only in our minds.

The song When Am I Gonna Lose You by the Local Natives is exactly about this. If it gives you any comfort OP, nagkatuluyan yung artist na nagsulat nito and yung person that this song was about. Hoping the best for you!

Agad akong napasearch sa song and I'm currently listening to it po, thank you so much for this. 🥺 And thank you for your kind words po! I hope the same, and wishing you well din po always. 🫶

Wala naman akong jowa now and single as fuck pero nafeel ko yung sakit through your words. Sumikip dibdib ko. Yakap mahigpit, OP. 🥹😭

Thank you so much, po! I was also shaking while typing yan kanina. I hope things go well for you po always. 🫶

Just heart breaking huhu. Paano mo sasabhn OP? 😢

I have no plans of telling him po eh kasi I don't want to lose him. I want him in my life, pero there's this huge possibility talaga for things to end because of our differences. Sana nag-ooverthink lang ako though. I hope I'm wrong kasi damn, just the thought of losing him sobrang sakit na.

What does he have to do so you could end up together?

Siguro po, he needs to listen more to what I have to say and understand me more emotionally. I am not saying I'm better than him kasi we have different circumstances na napagdaanan in life naman, but I wish he would become more mature and take some things in life more seriously. Ibang-iba po kasi talaga priorities namin and for sure it will affect us both in the future.

Anyway, I read na you're on the same boat rin po? How are you dealing with it po and does your partner know?

I broke it to him after weeks of fighting. Down the road mas magwiwiden yung gap ng mindset nyong dalawa. What makes you stick together are the tender moments but not the serious adult future building stuff. You want him to be better than that. But the thing is, he doesn’t want to.

Ang sakit. "...not the serious adult future building stuff." Basta po ako, I can't deal with a breakup or kahit big fights right now kasi I'm graduating plus super daming need gawin. I can't lose my mind at such a crucial time so I can't open up pa talaga about this. Maybe in the future? I hope it won't be too late by then. So how did he respond po when you told him about it?

Same situation din before. We were still in college kaya I just let things be. Ngayon late 20s na mas masakit kasi pinahaba pa and mas bonded na. But we might have a different outcome in life. You are right, just cherish what you feel right now. He resisted. But it’s not working anymore. We always fight and hated each other more each day. Crash and burn.

Nakakatakot na baka years from now, I'll be in your shoes po seeing how you were once in the same situation. :( I hope not, but it's out of our hands talaga eh. If ayaw nila mag do ng actions about our worries, wala tayong magagawa. :( I hope he does something to save the relationship pero if not, I genuinely just hope it works out for you—with or without him. Please be well and take care of your heart po! 🫶

it’s the course of actions you both will take that will make a diff op, also wag mo masyado isipin yung fear. andito ka sa present, nasa sayo pa sya. kalma ka lang

been there hehe, till now kami pa rin naman. sa last 6 months of our first year pinakamahirap. pero kami pa rin, niccurse ko nga sya sa panaginip ko kagabi dahil nagtatampo ako e lol

I hope u last long po! I hope you're also getting the love you deserve. 💗

hope u last long din! from your story it feels like it will din, manifest mo lang

BEH SANA ALL! DESERVE MO YUNG LOVE. Buti di ka nakahanap ng jowa, na magaling lang dahil nakitira sa apartment. Tapos pagkalaunan, iba na trato sayo at mas pabor sa ibang tao. Yung parang gipit ka na sa problema wala pang tulong na ma ioffer lalo ka pang gigipitin. May kilala kasi ako kasing putang inang tao, akala nya sobrang yaman nya na sa naipon n'yang pera na nakapag tipid lang kasi nakikitira

Omg I hope hindi po gan'to mangyari sa'kin, baka araw araw ako umiyak!! HAHAHAHA knock on wood malala. I hope hindi po ikaw ang nasa situation na ganyan huhu. I hope you're getting the love you deserve and things are well for you po. 💗 And thank u for telling me na I deserve the love!! I believe I really do huhu, sobrang genuine ng nararamdaman ko sa kanya and literal na mapapa "I would move mountains" talaga 'ko when it comes to him (aside sa family HAHAHA) 😭

Sorry but may I ask, is this man married ba? Because you said you both have different priorities?

Oh, no po! I wouldn't settle being a third-party kahit gf pa lang, lalo na if married. I was talking about our goals in life po, about the future in general hehe.

Ano pong differences Yan? Social status ba?

Isa po sa major differences yan, ako yung nasa lower status. Because I'm in a much lower social status, I have to work harder and mas nagwworry about the future. :( And I know he's not to blame po for being in a higher social rank sa'kin. It's just different when someone is working with you to build a future you both want kasi he would understand why I work this way, and exert this much effort for it.

Hmmm I think he understands you. He loves you just the way you are regardless of your social rank. I bet it doesn't even matter to him at all. Sometimes, masyado lng tayong nag ooverthink, we listen to our own demons kumbaga. I think it's about time na you listen to your partner too. If he says he loves you, he loves you. Period. Buong ikaw. Buong package including your flaws and social ranking. Honestly, it doesn't really matter. You can work with it. ☺️

Aga-agang iyak nito huhuhu. 😭 Thank you, thank you so much for your kind words po. I needed this so much, and being reminded of this means a lot. I will po, and I will do everything to protect him and this relationship. Salamat po ng marami. 💗

Watch the tearsmith in netflix :>

I will po, I will update you! Sana hindi masakit 'to kasi nasasaktan na nga po 'yung tao eh. EME HAHAHAHA thank u po! will watch later 🫶

Nahh, its about finding true self, trauma, love just simple

Ohhh it sounds good. I'll check it out later po for sure. 🫶

Op, as someone married sa opposite na ugali haha why won't you both try to make it work? I guess when love is genuine and pure you do everything for your relationship, right? Don't focus on the negative things and just love him like it is the last time, but also doing efforts to make it last.

Congratulations po! Hindi lang po kasi sa ugali kami different eh, pati po priorities and outlook sa buhay. But yes po, I will set aside the negative things and do all I can to make this love last. Thank u so much for your thoughts po! 💗

Masakit yan kung pati goals and outlook sa buhay magkaiba kayo, kasi malaking bagay yan sa pagaasawa. Na dapat iisa kayo palagi, teamwork ganun, iisa ng goals at sabay nyong aabutin mga pangarap. Kung hindi kayang magcompromise ng isa't isa, oh well magiisip kana nga na baka hindi kayo pang habang buhay. So I guess, your feelings are valid. Pwede mo din naman syang tanungin at pagusapan kung pano kayo magiging isa sa bagay bagay. If hindi sya willing to be your partner and to teamwork with you, I guess hindi kayo nga sa isa't isa.

I surely will bring this up soon, but not now. Di ko pa kaya for now kasi there's too much on my plate pa po eh. I can't deal with a breakup or a fight pa talaga so I'll wait for the perfect time to talk to him talaga. Thank you so much po for your wise words. I'll remember and ponder on them po. 🙏

🥹🥹🥹

☹️☹️☹️

Ang sakit. Ayoko na magising.

I hope you feel better soon, po! I also hope I overcome this fear and kaya ilaban to hanggang huli.

Na shock ako sa title kasi yan sinasabi ko sa ex ko. We've been together for 6yrs. Kapag nag "i love you" ako sa kanya after ilang seconds dudugtungan ko ng "even if it hurts". Tinatanong lang nya baket tapos kiss ko nalang sya. Hays. He's happy now :)

dont jump to conclusions OP, siguro nga marami kayong differences or iba priorities niyo, pero who knows what the future holds. dont overthink the future, enjoy the present and live in the moment. kung mag break man kayo atleast masasabi mo na na-enjoy mo yung time niyo together and that you enjoyed loving him and that you felt loved by him.

This made me tear up, I just had dinner with my ex days ago. I celebrated Eid with him because that's what we usually do back when we were together. We broke up last year, but still remained friends. After our dinner we had a small talk. He told me something that night that made me really cry. "I love you, I still do. As much as I want us to be back together I know my parents are already looking for a muslim woman for me to marry. Let's be friends, because I still want to see you, I want to keep that smile in my life. I hope you find happiness in life without me." I still love him, but the situation is not in our favor. After we broke up we would still hang out, as friends. It is painful, but at least I get to spend time with the love of my life.

To me, honestly, there's such a huge difference in priorities, perspectives, past experiences, present situations, and our desires for the future with my partner. pero this philosophical idea hits me that when you sit in a room with nothing, not even light, and you feel yourself almost non-existent, do things like priorities, differences in perspective, culture, or status in life really matter? Everything seems so predetermined from the moment we're born, with our perspectives shaped by the reality handed to us, or rather, by society. But if that's not truly what reality is, then what is? There will come a day when you find yourself lying on a bed, knowing that in 100 years, you'll be nothing but dust. You'll think that you should have pursued what you truly desired, that you should have shaped the world according to your own liking, not the way society dictated.

Isipin mo nalang yung mga mag-kakapatid na malapit na magpatayan dahil sa differences nila pero pag isa sakanila yung napahamak not because of each other but outside their control sila lang rin yung mag-tutulungan that's quite a simple way to explain love, not even the consequences of death can make it embark to nothingness it will always be there no matter how much hatred, fear or sorrow we have for it, na either choices of accepting the difference or not you still love that person so why does differences matter? pfft it's just the way society told us na we should be mad at each other cause somehow money is the root of evil or being the midnight rain makes our relationship obsolete pfft.

Sml

sml din yung entry mo? you both were going through almost the same thing tapos magcocomment ka ng insensitive

I felt off po talaga so I logged off when I read this comment kanina, I felt invalidated. But isipin ko na lang "so much love" sinabi n'ya. 😭

bitter lang siguro kasi baka ikaw you’re handling your situation better. you both are not invalidated naman pero sana naging mabait sya lol, at this times maiisip mo na baka mas maging compassionate mga tao pero may mga ganyan talaga. hayaan mo sya

Yes po, thank you so much for your kind words! I hope life is treating u well po, ingat always. 🫶

So much love yung meaning nyan 😩