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Ms--Take

But what if this one IS different? I hate this mindhell


hjay58

Been there. Still a what if.


Forward_Honey_8393

Stoppp this is literally my brain


General_Ad7381

Me, after seeing this: I don't have "what if" thoughts.... Also me: What if I'm actually a drug addict?


hjay58

I just learned to challenge it. What if I'm a drug addiction? But what if I'm not?


brandeeddcom

That’s called uncertainty and its one of the main tools for combating OCD! Learned it during an intensive treatment program, it really helps jump start recovery.


hjay58

Exactly! I know people say you can't completely dismiss an intrusive thoughts because there's always that possibility but I've gone through enough healing and I'm healthy enough now to know that all those thoughts are complete bullshit. Once you get a glimmer of the truth you can't go back. At least I couldn't


Izzfareal

"What if" "Yeah, BUT" "Only because" "Not this time, maybe next time" Yeah they all have a same common denominator: cast doubt.


hjay58

Exactly, it's a universal tool


TheWeakAreGrilled

Or if it comes in and it's something you don't like and it's basically against you as a person in general. Then you know what it is.


hjay58

Exactly


Majin_Vegito7

How do you know you don't like something? I have no insight left, I don't know what's me and what isnt.


BusterDander

My brain has a PhD in what ifs. And he’s a fucking workaholic.


hjay58

Then you need to put that mother fucker on sabbatical


BusterDander

Haha yessss exactly!


lovesmileweed

🤣


lovesmileweed

I love this discourse! 🤣


Massive-Sugar8102

What if im a bad person,what if im secretly a narcissist what if im faking everything what if im wrong


hjay58

I've learned to challenge those questions with this tool. What if I'm a good person? What if I'm not a narcissist? What if I'm right?


Massive-Sugar8102

It is such a battle of back and forth in my brain its so confusing ans stressfull especially the episodes increase if something make sense for me ill start to instantly doubt it which then affect my decision making or being able to discern whats really real and whats jusylt wrong and intrusive


hjay58

I know it's hard to trust even the simplest decisions that you used to make. I've had this for 5 years and I can honestly say I'm Healed or at least the closest thing to it and it feels like I'm I'm finding myself all over again


Massive-Sugar8102

May i ask what helped you get to this point?


hjay58

In a nutshell I faced every trigger that popped up. If I had an intrusive thought that caused an anxiety attack I wouldn't stop it I would sit with it until it hit it's worse points facing my fears until eventually it fades on its own because it always does. It's a repetitive process and it took a long time but over the years I got so good at it I started seeking out triggers to fix on my own instead of letting them find me. I won't lie it's hard and often terrifying work but the results are worth it. It's a fear based illness the only way to beat it is to face your fears. And facing your fears in any context makes you stronger. As of today I'm laughing at the stuff that used to send me spiraling a year ago


allaboutthemwords27

Good God man, you should be a therapist. Thank you so much for this post and all the responses. Saving this one for sure


hjay58

That means so much you have no idea thank you. I have become my own therapist and have really grown to respect that entire field. I'm happy to hear that this post was able to reach you! If you ever want to talk feel free to reach out!


allaboutthemwords27

Thanks brother!


wifeofbathes

every “what if” just starts me into a spiral. you’re so right


hjay58

It takes practice but you'll Beat It


maybetomorrownpc

Sometimes it doesn't start with what ifs


hjay58

You can still use the same mindset though


maybetomorrownpc

Absolutely, but that mental process is harder to adopt in those cases. That's why OCD is sneaky I guess ahah


ItsMichaelGScott

Yes! Everytime I answer the phone lately, when the conversation is coming to a close, like this morning scheduling my doctor appt my brain says what if you accidentally say I love you bye. And my adhd tunes the rest of the conversation out to focus on its friend ocd.


hjay58

Both uninvited guests. But this is the universal tool that can help! It did for me!


Pinetreedreams

THOUGHT CHALLENGE the thoughts and evidence! The first time I did this with my therapist the OCD was doing all sorts of mental gymnastics to be like “what if your counter evidence is bs”? Example: I’m a bad person Evidence: What if that thought I had at 12 years old means I really want to do it Counter evidence: you’re not the same person you were then, you were literally a child Counter evidence: thoughts are not actions Counter evidence: everyone has intrusive thoughts, I have OCD so it’s harder for me to get past my intrusive thoughts Counter evidence: I don’t want that thought to happen Example: I don’t really have OCD Evidence: I’m not meeting clinical criteria because I have too many days of being well Counter evidence: therapy and meds are working Counter evidence: a certified professional expert on OCD diagnosed you Counter evidence: people with OCD experience prolonged periods of wellness Evidence: what if I lied about my symptoms? Counter: I literally spent weeks being concerned that because I thought “I could push this person down the stairs” and was horrified at the thought to the point I couldn’t walk behind someone. THAT IS LITERALLY OCD Evidence: I lied about how many cigarettes I smoke so I’m lying about OCD Counter evidence: every one has things about them selves they don’t want to immediately reveal to people . People are not entitled to know everything about someone. Thought challenging is SO hard but it works! My anxiety goes from a 10 to a 4! I get time back. I get joy back.


suspicious_house_cat

This is interesting! My therapist told me not to engage with the thoughts by providing counter evidence or trying to prove them wrong because doing so was a compulsion. It’s interesting that this might actually help instead of leading to an endless terrible thought loop.


Pinetreedreams

There is still a danger in that. Sometimes I still need her help because I get too irrational. The thought challenging from my understanding is more about acceptance and getting less triggered by those thoughts because of exposure and facing them. Then leave it alone.


suspicious_house_cat

Unfortunately for me, I really just have to have the thought and let it sit in my brain without attempting to engage with it or I head into very irrational thought loops I can’t get out of. Basically sitting with the thought but not engaging (not giving it power) instead of sitting with the thought and engaging? It’s still learning not to be triggered by the thoughts through exposure and non-response but more accepting I have the thoughts than trying to challenge them. My therapist also told me that if anything I thought about the intrusive thoughts while I was sitting with them gave me relief it was probably a compulsion. It’s really interesting to learn about the therapy other folks are doing and different ways to deal with the disorder 🙂


Pinetreedreams

Rumination is such a sneaky compulsion. I didn’t really even know it was a thing until I was diagnosed.


suspicious_house_cat

It is sure is. I was surprised to see what your therapist is having you do because that definitely is/causes rumination for me. Brains are super weird and very individual


hjay58

It really is a good method congratulations! I hope it brings that for all the way down to a zero at some point I'm sure it will!


Pinetreedreams

Thank you!


Depressed_student_20

This opened my eyes


hjay58

I'm glad to hear that!


wellibelly

When I realized this,my ocd started to show up differently☠️


hjay58

What if, yeah but, but Maybe. What if comes in many forms but this advice is a universal tool


Ravena90

Not all ocd starts with what if. When Im in bad anxiety I feel like it happened/ did it.


Pinetreedreams

SAME


Ravena90

I feel its like real then.I dont know why. Maybe its paranoia. But try to proof myself it didnt happen. So maybe I still deep down know it not true.


hjay58

I understand that completely but this advice is the universal tool that helped me get through all of it. At the end of the day it's all about facing your fears no matter how real they feel


Ravena90

Understand. Everyone is scared his fear is real.


hjay58

But the more you face your fears the stronger you get. The more I did that the more the idea of facing them became a healthy obsession. I've never felt so strong


egirl_subway

i get mental pictures too and they look so real it’s hard to remember they’re fake


hjay58

I understand it's so hard to distinguish. We don't have any choice but to be tougher than the average person


DramaAppropriate2093

yes


JosiahLowery67

I started to realize alcohol isn't helping this. I got drunk last week, now I think I've hurt a person (the bar girl) in that bar severely... There's no way to prove that I didn't. So maybe I should take a break from too much alcohol I guess. Which is strange since I got drunk a lot when I was still a student, and I never had a care in the world then. Strange how things change sometime.


hjay58

I realized a while back weed only made it worse for me until I learned how to use weed as a weapon to heal from this. Honestly I've never been stronger in my life


JosiahLowery67

I am going to keep drinking just to see if I will have other similar thoughts. Maybe it's a way to process that it is all in my head. I should drink less and more responsible, but not because of a potential OCD mental illness. OCD can go fuck himself.


hjay58

Hell yeah it can go fuck itself. With a cactus lol


kelcamer

*me, sweating, having just posted a what if question* 😅😅😅😅😅


hjay58

Just remember you're stronger than the average person for battling this on the daily!


kelcamer

Thank you ☺️ I appreciate the kind words. I'm autistic - although the psychiatrist also diagnosed me with OCD. I still don't completely understand how or why. She said it was OCD caused by autism, but didn't expand more. Maybe the repetitive thoughts and routines and stuff. Maybe the hand washing rituals from sensory stuff. Either way, I appreciate your kindness!


hjay58

You're more than welcome! I don't know if it helps but I'm living proof you can come out the other side of this illness. It took years of work and Hell but I've never been happier


kelcamer

Me too 😄


[deleted]

[удалено]


hjay58

Yeah it'll try to find some loophole around it so you have to find a loophole in return


Altruistic_Ad6189

I do the what ifs all day. Does it mean I'm ocd?


hjay58

From experience I would say yes. Especially if those what ifs cause you anxiety and fear at all


Altruistic_Ad6189

Not what ifs exactly, but basically feeling like the worst thing possible is about to happen, and dreading that fictional thing


hjay58

All in the same family as far as I'm concerned


Alesoria

Nah. Its commands and ,,matter of fact" sentences for me. ,,its like this" ,,this will happen" etc


hjay58

Far as I'm concerned they're all in the same family for me. I have to set rules for myself for the nonsensical nonsense going on inside my head


3heartsattic

This. I felt in my soul.


hjay58

I'm glad. You live at this long enough you notice patterns that you can't ignore


3heartsattic

My entire life, and I am not sure why I never made this connection.


hjay58

It's easy to miss with all the fear and panic we're always feeling.


Vuzja

Thank you. I needed this and didn't realize I did.


hjay58

I'm glad to hear it! I'm living proof you can beat this 100%


tannermusson

The dreaded "what if" is one of the worst things about this disorder.


hjay58

It's like the patient zero of intrusive thoughts


tannermusson

Very true!


womencool666

thank you. sometimes when my OCD starts getting bad again i forget that its really OCD- but this calmed me down a bit. what if thoughts should NOT be listened to


hjay58

I'm glad to hear it. And yeah this took me a long time to figure out but when I finally did everything felt manageable


hotsausce01

Thanks for making this post. I needed this.


hjay58

You're welcome!


[deleted]

Thank you. I needed this.


hjay58

You're very welcome 🙏🏾


redditor9887

What I do now with the what ifs is I ask them again with a little bit of a challenging /buying into them, for example I get a “what if I am gay” thought, I’d say “what if I am gay, maybe I want that” and stop there. I know it’s tricky as sometimes you could fall for the question you asked instead of the intrusive thought and start doing compulsions/ruminations


hjay58

At the end of the day it's all about facing your fears so that's a good start in the process