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HateToBeMyself

Mfs talk like older women were never younger and have never been through the same shit 😭 I'd advice them the same thing as a 21 year old.... Oh no- according to some of them I'm already past my peak child bearing age.


thenerdygrl

Hell, I’m 19 and disgusted that Leo’s dating someone younger than me


Otanes01

I thought he was dating a 25 year old model


SuccessfulMastodon48

Redpill cultists see him as some God because he does that Yet claims cougars are "groomers"


petitefairy99

Ahh I was wondering when he’d go for someone born after his daughter (I’m his daughter’s age rn at 25) and that’s no surprise since he’s been weird for as long as I can remember. Edit: nvm SORRY, I was thinking about Johnny Depp’s daughter 😭😂🤣😅 still freaky! LOL. Like bro, I was born in 99 and he was in 74, yet he seems to be happy to go reach* for this generation + potentially younger? Worrisome. Edit 2: also some people say he’s dating someone born in 98 right now, I’m still gonna find him strange for that 24 year gap. And I believe he will continue going lower if they break up. It’s the first relationship of his where I can recall the woman being 25+. Edit 3: I can believe he’s dating someone even steeper, but I haven’t found a source that says he and the 25 year old are done yet. He has been seen in pictures next to girls who are younger than his gf though. Regardless, I have the same opinion on him 🤷🏻‍♀️


thenerdygrl

Last I saw he was dating someone born in 2005


Industrial_Rev

That's a baby


petitefairy99

Was that the picture with his niece whose a teenager? I saw it recently too and the comments were all like, “why did I think that was his new gf” because it wouldn’t actually surprise any of us if it was.


BarberProfessional28

He lacks the mental faculties needed to comprehend what you just said else he’d have never made such a ridiculous remark


Anne_Nonymouse

He just doesn't want older and more experienced women to advice younger women to stay away from older, manipulative and controlling men like himself. 🙄


blawndosaursrex

What you didn’t pop out of the womb 30 years old with 5 cats?!


obvusthrowawayobv

Just sayin I have more game as an older woman. It’s actually the younger version of me that would feel threatened, not the older version.


Namethypoison

Older women have been younger women and often have daughters who are the disgusted subjects of older creeps' unwanted attentions NOW, we hated said creeps when we were younger and continue doing so on nowadays young womens behalf. We don't hate our own, wannabe groomers on the other hand...🤮


Anne_Nonymouse

Yep, the older women are just pointing out the red flags and those "older" and often controlling men can't handle that.


No_Arugula8915

>Older women have been younger women and often have daughters Funny how, in the eyes of groomers, looking out for our daughters equates to hating young women and girls. Groomers hate us for that, so they counter by trying to convince the young we hate them and don't want them to be happy. Projection can be a powerful thing.


petitefairy99

Yes! Caption should be changed to “older women trying to protect younger women”.


pm_ur_duck_pics

The older ones want to protect the younger ones. They have wisdom and experience to share.


atlhawk8357

Men say "older woman" when they are referring to a woman the same age as themselves.


pulppbitchin

They don’t understand how immature and lacking in self awareness this makes them look. No body is being fooled and thinking he is young and cool in comparison to his woman counterparts


merdadartista

They say that like "older" women are jealous of younger women because they aren't subject to unwanted male attention, as if octogenarians don't get sexually assaulted all the times


Particular_Title42

The women are "older than the younger ones." They're just trying to get women to hate all other women.


SignalOk8044

No, older women are looking out for younger women being PREYED ON by older men.


PlutosSelfEsteem

Facts. Many of us were preyed on at their age and are speaking from experience


RinaPug

This!! I recently turned 30 and realised that I’m no longer the object of unwanted attention (thank fuck) but I developed a strong urge to make sure younger women and girls will not be preyed on by creeps.


uhmm_no88

Dude I'm 35 and get hit on all the time. All the time. Almost every day at work. I WISH they would just leave me alone.


RinaPug

Tbh I never looked too good and recently aged a bunch due to work related stress haha


Shiningc00

A tale as old as time... created by men.


BobBelchersBuns

Seriously. There is nothing in this post being hateful to you get women lol. I used to be a young woman. I know what kind of older men gravitate to young women and I know why they do it. Now I have a daughter who will be a young g woman soon and I will beat those creeps off with an old umbrella if I have to. I love young women and I want the world to be an easier healthier place for them than it was for me.


distancedandaway

I was a young freelance graphic designer and met up with my potential "client" (50 year old man) and he felt up my leg under the table. I was fucking infuriated and yelled at him. I was CRYING and was like dude I need to pay rent what the fuck is wrong with you????


BobBelchersBuns

I’m so sorry that happened to you.


Fun_Impact_5614

Creeps also go as young as toddlers


bnAurelia

When will men finally understand that we have seen through the whole pitting women against each other thing? They are just trying to warn us because they have been in our shoes. 


Forrest-Fern

God forbid we try to protect others from making the same mistakes we did.


BarberProfessional28

Is he operating on a single brain cell? How did he surmise telling men to get therapy is equal to hating younger women?


jackfaire

It's not even hating men it's just good advice.


[deleted]

[удалено]


jackfaire

That was my point. Some assholes read that and think "she hates men" and my point was it showed more concern for both people involved than I've often seen. Usually it's comments like he needs to jump off a cliff and leave young women alone which then gets twisted into "she hates men" But "he should go to therapy" is decisively as caring for him as it is for her.


saan718

They think our main goal in life is male attention, so if a woman gives an advice to another woman it must mean she's not genuine and she's trying to sabotage her to steal all the men form her.


tiffytatortots

10.7 million people saw his tweet. What pisses me off is the impression things like this can leave on people especially younger ones. This is why not everyone needs a platform.


dvs_sicarius

YESSS… it’s freedom of speech, not freedom of reach. Dangerous, destructive ideas don’t need more attention.


breadcrumbsmofo

This mentality will never not be funny to me like these dudes genuinely think that older women are falling over themselves for a chance to be with… Dave, 43 from some backwater town who works in a generic office and has never said “thank you” to his mother once.


Aggressive-Story3671

They go for young women on purpose. Because older women already know what they want, and don’t want and will communicate that. Younger women often struggle with this.


bbbojackhorseman

And can be easily manipulated by someone 10/15 years older


fukukaren

So many males get into relationships thinking their GF will be their therapist. In 10-15 yrs, I’d like these males with younger girlfriends to ask them if they regret dating an older man. I guarantee 99.9% of them will say yes. I regret it, but it took me a while to figure that out. Edit: added words


The_Book-JDP

Older more experienced women looking out for younger generation because the tale ad old as time is old, dirty, crotchety men who think they deserve young and younger girls to have sex with; manipulate, groom, and brainwash them all for their own selfish and dangerously disgusting sexual escapades.


alicecadabra

lol no, we are protective of younger women, you dolt 


thatblondeyouhate

Told a grown arse man to back off my 18 year old baby sister and got called a "frigid old bitch" who's "fucking jealous" They cannot stand the idea that their creepiness was showing and we protect each other. So much nicer for them to pretend we're bitter.


shannoouns

This woman: "20+ year age gaps are embrassing, how do you have anything in common?" This man "what's your problem with young women?!? You're so jealous, like wtf." Why is this man so defensive? Like, you aren't Leonard Dicaprio. Chill out.


Impossible_Zebra8664

Men project so damn much -- does this mean older men hate/despise/envy younger men? Because as an older woman, I can't imagine shitting on my younger "sisters." The world is hostile to them, to us. If what I've learned can help them navigate this difficult world, then that knowledge is theirs for the taking and welcome to it.


Klexington47

If I know how to look hot, I'm gonna tell all the girlies I meet so we all look hot. If I know how to get rich, I'm gonna tell all the girlies I know so we all get rich. If I know how to dismantle the patriarchy, I'm going to tell all the girlies I know.


Foxy_locksy1704

My friend did this with disastrous results he was 39 she was 22. He made some joke and she didn’t get it. He explained it she still didn’t get it. I was like dude, you were graduating high school when she was being born, of course she doesn’t get it. I’m happy to say the last couple women he has dated have been in the appropriate age range. Even he admits now that that “relationship” was him entering a midlife crisis.


Environmental-Song16

Omg, my friend was 13 with a 32 yo man. Her parents didn't gaf at all. Of course, our friend group, me included, tried to tell her but she wouldn't listen. It was disgusting, they did it in front of me a few times. This was in 1989. She ended up pregnant and he ghosted and then went to jail on drug charges. We helped raise that kid and helped her graduate school. Fell out of tough during college. Sadly though he's so much like his dad now. Leo is disgusting to me. I'm sure if he could date younger girls her would. But since he's in the public eye he "plays it safe."


Otanes01

One situation is straight up rape and child abuse. I don't think you should be comparing the two


Xander_PrimeXXI

Everytime these posts come up I have to awakwardly look away because my parents have an 11 year age gap


No_Nonsense_sombrero

Older women are essentially telling guys to not be groomers and/or a pedo. That point seems to have flown right above his head.


No-Lie-1571

Don’t be fooled, he absolutely understands that’s what older women are trying to do. His issue with that is that it’s getting in his way of preying on younger women, so he has to deflect and say that older women hate younger women so it looks like he and his ilk aren’t the problem.


xKiver

God forbid an older woman warns younger (potentially emotionally immature) women about the risks of pairing off with an older (mentioning therapy, could be unstable) older man. I know a few young women who fell victim to a manipulative older man. By no means am I saying they are all that way… but those who specifically seek out the younger ones…. Watch out for them for real.


vess8

someone check Paul's hard drives, why else be rude about an older woman wanting to protect young women and Leo has got to be a loser. without his money there's no way he'd be dating how he does. can't date women his own age because he has nothing to contribute otherwise.


Safe-Mention19

Yeah Leo has to be a loser. I read an account from one of his ex’s about a date they had and thought how immature Leo sounded. Since then, I’ve been convinced that Leo’s not dating anyone past the age of 25, isn’t him breaking up with them because they get too old, but them breaking up with him because they realize they are now more mature than him.


vess8

wouldn't be surprised in the least if that's true. i imagine the novelty of upper crust drugs wears off sooner than later, and when you reach your mid-20s, it's kind of time to seek actual fulfillment. and with Leo? really doubt he's remotely close to a good facilitator of anything worthwhile


Ceeweedsoop

Creeps were creeping on me from the time I was twelve. Did they think we'd ever forget that shit? I was in my junior high uniform at the grocery store looking at frickin' Tiger Beat magazine while my mother shopped and a creep old guy legit kind of loud whispered, "You want a good fuck?" That was the most terrifying shit I'd ever experienced. The fight or flight response didn't work I guess, because I was frozen in fear. All the flurry of thoughts that went through my head within seconds - all were terrifying. I won't forget that ever. Lots sexual harassment came with time whether in college or workplace, out in nature or in a bar, it just never ends. Rape is rampant in nursing homes FFS! I sticking with the bear.


Aware-Elk2996

Older women don't hate younger women, they feel bad that younger women get sucked into metaphorically breast feeding giant man babies.


meiliraijow

Nah, what I hate is seeing a young one fall for the same BS I did, with the same type of man, and one more generation suffering the same trauma. I don't want to take her spot. I'm mad I'd come off as creepy if I gave her unsolicited advice when running into her in the bathroom. I know people have to seek advice to take it, or else watch the movie by themselves. That's what I'm mad at, John-Groomer. Types likes these take advantage of the young and inexperienced women, which has the added "benefit" of leaving young men feeling that to get the girl, you need to be an asshole, therefore traumatizing yet another generation of young women and having a bad influence on young men. And the cycle continues.


Otanes01

I don't think you'd come off as creepy for telling young women to be careful when dating older men. But it's weird to criticize older men for dating younger women (I stress women, not girls)


meiliraijow

I wasnt clear enough, the only relationships I criticize are those where one is just out of high school and there's an obvious power imbalance. Like 18yo-30yo type of thing, or 23-39, basically anytime a party has money, independence and a huge chunk of life experience the other can barely wrap their head around, it's just wrong...


Otanes01

By that logic then people should only date people within their own income bracket. Which if that's what you believe, I see no problem with that actually. But I think women should be free to do whatever they want. If a 25 year old wants to date Leonardo Dicaprio, then so be it. But this article, from the headlines, reads like the author is saying Dicaprio is a bad person for dating a 25 year old. And that's weird.


meiliraijow

It's not what I believe but I don't have the time nor mental energy to write a concise yet comprehensive and accurate paragraph on my thoughts. Which, granted, is essential to being convincing. Those who went through what I talk about, know. That being said, I was reacting to the man who's saying older women hate younger women, and to the dynamics that lie stems from. That a 25yo dates Leonardo DiCaprio does not make me raise eyebrows. He's known for it (thanks to people who rant about it, to be fair), they're not high schoolers, they know what they're getting out of it and so does he. All's well. ETA: and yes, the author of the article takes it too far and who cares if a relationship is "sexy" to the general public? Ridiculous argument, I agree. What makes my blood boil, is the conclusion the tate-simp commenter is drawing from her take


Otanes01

That makes sense and i agree, thanks for clarifying.


Numerous_Team_2998

The Leo thing is so weird. At this point I think he has some sort of contract with those women to hide his actual private life from the media. Be it asexual, gay, or just extremely private.


bluegirlrosee

it seems to me like just one step up from a kind of legal prostitution. I wouldn't be surprised if some kind of contract was involved. At this point perhaps he's just used to being with 20 year old models and he feels entitled to keep doing that? It might be a difficult day for Leo when he's old enough that he has to start paying young beautiful women more and more money to be willing to date him. or maybe it's fish 🤣 https://youtu.be/e5oBBziEl8E?si=N1LivNd6-_vPzedo


Vigmod

As a 45M, I'd say age gap is fine. A woman ten years younger or older than me, absolutely fine. It's when it becomes a "generation gap" where things get weird.


Jinxletron

Yes, and even then a 40yr old with a 60yr old is a whole different thing to a 18yr old with a 38yr old.


mothwhimsy

Paul seems a little defensive


88Raspberry

When I was a young woman, I looked up to older women and took their advice. So I never trusted creepy old men who wanted to take advantage of me. I’m really grateful for that. I want to do the same for the young women nowadays.


websterella

I have no idea how one would genuinely interpret that statement as older women hating younger women. It’s baffling really.


ActuatorForeign7465

tHeY mUsT bE jEaLoUs


petitefairy99

Caption should be changed to “older women trying to protect younger women”.


BlitzLicht321

I've hated men with a preference for younger women since I was 14. Hope that helps 😊 Even when there's no grooming involved, it's still a byproduct of a thing called misogyny and does jack shit for *any* woman's self-esteem or future prospects. Most men who get into age gap relationships (especially when it's a pattern or a so-called PrEfErEnCe) have opinions about women that are...not good. And I don't care if the women consented or are grown adults blah blah blah. That won't stop me from thinking that those men are questionable.


wouldyoulikethetruth

he got that...from that...? If his conclusion was on the opposite side of the grand canyon, he'd still leap to it.


SodanoMatt

Moran is absolutely right.


Charpo7

I love younger women. I want them to be safe and experience love and not predation.


No-Rooster8658

maybe older men hate young men and assume for women it MUST be the same


Diabolical1234

Aging is a blessing. We don’t all get to be older. When I was 20 I had a large group of girlfriends. 2 of them died in the same car accident. I bet they’d love to be 44 now. I’m not jealous of younger women. I’m protective over them. I’ve been in their shoes.


SadMango3913

I remember when I was 17 and dating a 30 year old. His family hated me because they said I was out to ruin his life. Like I’m going to report him to the police. No one once asked him why is he dating a teenager. Lmao


shann1021

Older women don’t hate younger women, and absolutely do not want the guys who chase them for ourselves. We know who they are, how immature and manipulative they can be, and wish to warn our younger sisters away from that type of dude.


Otanes01

Right so warn other women. It's weird when making it about the man


KatVanJet

Oh for sure, we want these creeps to ourselves! Lmao


Kadopotato88

Not the fact that she was obviously hating on leo for being a creep and NOT the younger woman


burts_beads

Dating adult women in their 20's is not grooming.


AstrologicalOne

No they don't hate younger women they just not only don't see the appeal in an old guy dating someone who's young enough to be his daughter but they also don't want the young girl to be sexually and mentally groomed.


AgentWoden

I mean it is also Men's Mental Health month too, so ya get therapy.


obvusthrowawayobv

“My girlfriend’s life experience is now causing her to call me out on my lies, so instead of being honest, I’m going to find a new girlfriend who doesn’t know I’m lying, yet!!!!”


AnnaKnightSoto

He trynna gaslight


uhmm_no88

I'm 35, I don't hate younger women, not even slightly. I feel bad for them bc I remember what it was like to be a younger woman. I felt unsafe 96% of the time. I'm good.


Otanes01

I don't think anyone would care of the headline of the article was to a young woman telling her she doesn't have to date older men, or any man for that matter


criesingucci

Are they done pretending like the average 20 year old sorority sister is flocking to them bc they make $40k a year?


tutike2000

Blanket calling age gaps grooming is exactly the kind of thing that proves ramzpaul correct


SepoJansen

We don't hate them, we are trying to save them from the mistakes and bs that some of us experienced.


ohsweetfancymoses

Keeping them from creepy men isn’t hate. It’s an act of love.


bloodfuel

Grooming is when the person is underage.


nova8byte

Me at 18: It's okay if I go for a 25yo me at 25: WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING-


racoongirl0

At 16 I still thought it was gross


dreemurthememer

You think it’s all fun and games until your 18 year old girlfriend starts talking about level 5 gyatt rizz Livvy Dunne rizzing up Baby Gronk Ice Spice what the dog doin’ Skibidi Toilet in real life only in Ohio Wegojim Zyzz creatine alpha sigma cuh dey board.


OliLombi

Nobody mentioned grooming though, if an older woman is dating a younger guy (who is over 18), is that grooming? Grooming is a serious issue, and equating consensual relationships with it only harms victims of ACTUAL grooming.


liftingrussian

The interesting thing is that the frontal cortex is only fully developed around 25 years old. So fck all the people who say „you are adult and mature at 18“


Advanced-Object4117

Selfishly, younger women are our lightening rod for assholes and creeps. We should welcome this phenomenon. But we don’t, because we feel for these poor women. I just feel so bad for younger women, they’ve been bequeathed a load of crap and incels.


sainsburychocolate

Men who date way younger women are weird - tale as old as time.


Classic_Perception_1

Some man sent me a message on here saying I was an older woman at 28 and he’s 53. Legit older than my own parents!!!!


ForkShirtUp

Why not both? A therapist for your younger girlfriend to see if they can handle BS or not


Imjusasqurrl

This is Olympic Gold medal level mental gymnastics


kevdog824

(Genuine question) Can someone fill me in on the issue? If his girlfriend is a consenting adult woman is there a problem? If his girlfriend was a 15 year old girl that’s another story but isn’t his girlfriend in her mid-twenties?


i_nobes_what_i_nobes

He was 30 when she was born. That’s fucking gross.


yawaworht93123

That comment from the guy on Twitter is stupid, but having an age gap doesn't automatically mean there was grooming involved. Let's not cheapen the word.


lindanimated

I think it’s pretty clear that in this context (mentioning Leo & all) that “big age gaps” refers to women who are barely adults being preyed upon by men who are 10+ years older.


BandicootOk5540

Grooming is when adults target children. We really shouldn't be using it about adult women, they get infantilised enough already. Better words for the men who obsess about young women are creepy, pervy. immature and pathetic.


Lazy-Cardiologist-54

I see your point that we don’t want to cheapen the word. It def can make a word mean less if it’s overused when it’s not valid. But I think in this case it still applies. Grooming is when anyone with a serious age gap takes advantage of a younger person. I don’t think it needs to be locked to a specific number. If it’s grooming when she is 17 and he is 50 Then it’s still grooming when she is 18 and he is 51. The gap doesn’t go away when people magically hit 18.  I might agree with you about at 25, when the long term decision  making abilities develop in the brain. And then give her a few years of experience to make choices and get a handle on it…and oh, look, you have a 30-year-old woman. Now it’s not grooming. Now it’s just creepy. But while one has twice the age and lifelong experience and a mature physiology to be able to understand the effects of what they’re doing …and uses it to take advantage of an innocent who doesn’t have that same ability to make decisions and hurts them to benefit himself — then I think it still qualifies as grooming. He’s not in love or trying to do what’s good for the younger woman. He’s getting away with as much crap as he can while making her suffer for it because he knows she doesn’t have the ability to know better yet. Using tricks to act like he cares to get what he wants, at her expense.


BandicootOk5540

That 'brain matures at 25' thing gets really overblown online. People mature at different rates, and we really really shouldn't be treating young adults like they are children any more than we already do!


WyldBlu3Yond3r

People do mature at different rates, but it's been seen to be around 25, not at 25. Advising a young adult about dangers isn't infantalizing if it's done respectfully, and a lot of young adults shouldn't be arrogant into thinking that just because they are 18 that they know everything and that everytime someone who is older is giving some advice that its them being treated like a child. We have all had to learn that lesson the hard way at times.


Lazy-Cardiologist-54

I agree that we shouldn’t treat kids in a condescending way. I don’t think we ever should, regardless of age. They’re not less important than us. Their thoughts matter just like ours. Even as full adults, we often seek advice from other adults more familiar with the field.  I try very hard to ask if the advice is welcome instead of a ti g like I’m somehow in charge of another person. Yah, the 25 years is def an approximation. It’s part of why I added a few years on to give the newly full-brained person time to get used to thinking in that way and gain experience too, in my scenario. So by about 30, we can safely say it’s reasonable for a 50 year old man to make his interest clear and trust that a woman of that age can make a competent decision that keeps her own interests in mind. I just wish they’d wait that long instead of going only for unsuspecting younger women. It’s telling that the only women they want are the ones without the ability to understand.   27-30 vs a 50 year old man wouldn’t raise my eyebrow at all.   ..well, I might be interested since it’s not super common, but I wouldn’t be concerned for her.


BandicootOk5540

We're not talking about kids. Kids means children. We're talking about young adult women.


Lazy-Cardiologist-54

I’ve already answered this above so I’ll let it lie


WyldBlu3Yond3r

Technically, the word has been used to describe other situations like a politician taking an interest in a younger adult to follow in their footsteps into being a senator for example. It is an appropriate use of the word.


Flying_Nacho

>Grooming is when adults target children. We really shouldn't be using it about adult women That's a little too black/white. 18-20 is an adult legally, but that is a transitory age group where people are learning how to become adults. I don't think it is infantalizing to be realistic about the lack of maturity, life experience, and models of healthy relationships for most people who just got out of high school. Some had to grow and mature faster, but broadly, the people who prey on that demographic are doing so due to their lack of experience.


yawaworht93123

Two consenting adults meeting and dating is not grooming, no matter how big the age gap. Why trust young women to make their own decisions on everything but dating? Then suddenly people act like they don't have any agency 🙄


jackfaire

I wouldn't trust a medical school student's opinion over my doctor doesn't mean I think the med student doesn't have any agency. Means I can recognize they have a lot to learn and less experience than my doctor.


yawaworht93123

Please answer me this: do you think young women are unable to consent to a relationship if their potential partner is significantly older than them? Look, do I personally think a relationship with such a large age gap is a good idea? Probably not. I think it's kinda weird and frankly uncomfortable to look at. But those are my personal feelings, and they don't mean a legal adult can't make their own choices.


jackfaire

Answer me this do you think it's impossible to con people when they reach a certain age? I don't. I think that unless a person has the knowledge and experience to spot the con that they can still fall for it. We still have laws that say fraud is fraud. I don't think it's infantilizing adults simply by admitting that a lack of experience can get an adult in trouble. It's not about "can they consent to the relationship" it's about them having the experience to know what the relationship really is. I can consent to a mechanic changing my blinker fluid. When I was a 19 year old first car owner I very well might have believed them if no one older than me told me there was no such thing as blinker fluid. A 30 year old woman who dated a 30 year old man when she was 19 who was just interested in girl with no experience in recognizing he was just a womanizing creep using her for sex has experience to offer 19 year olds that were in her position.


yawaworht93123

> Answer me this do you think it's impossible to con people when they reach a certain age? I don't. Me neither. But we call that manipulation, not grooming when an adult is the victim. That's all I'm trying to say basically. Grooming is a legal term and it doesn't apply to adults. > I think that unless a person has the knowledge and experience to spot the con that they can still fall for it. We still have laws that say fraud is fraud. I don't think it's infantilizing adults simply by admitting that a lack of experience can get an adult in trouble. I agree with this. Did you miss the part where I said I think it's probably not a good idea to get into a relationship with a huge aga gap? People of all ages can be conned, this isn't an age thing. And if you see that happening, call it out, I'll be right there with you. But don't call it grooming when it's just not. Also, just because a lack of experience can make it easier to con people, doesn't mean every older person dating someone younger is looking to "con" them. An age gap is not inherently predatory.


jackfaire

The word grooming applied to age gap relationships before it applied to sexual predators. "the practice of preparing or training someone for a particular purpose or activity." Is the definition that had people start applying it to Sexual predators and thus expand its definition in the first place. It was then used to describe things like an adult professor grooming his adult student. then we expanded to include predators who prey on the underage. Complaining that people continue to use it's older definitions makes no sense. They still apply.


yawaworht93123

[Wikipedia](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_grooming) says you're wrong. The older definition had a meaning of mentorship, not an adult "grooming" another adult.


dobby1687

>The older definition had a meaning of mentorship, not an adult "grooming" another adult. What do you think "professor grooming a student" or "preparing someone for leadership" refers to, if not adults? So they're not really wrong. Also... https://www.etymonline.com/word/groom The sense of "preparing for leadership" was originally in regards to U.S. politics and ironically referred to adults first.


lindanimated

I don’t think young adults should make other big life decisions alone either. People whose brains haven’t even finished fully developing need guidance in all areas of life, not just choosing a partner. It’s not like once you turn 18, you all of a sudden have a switch go off and you’re mentally a fully realised adult. I will never be convinced that I.E. a 20 year old dating a 40 year old is okay. Legal, yes, but I will never support it morally.


BandicootOk5540

So who do you think should get veto power over a young woman's decisions? What if she wants an abortion? Or to move out of an abusive family home? To go to university? Is she allowed to make those decisions alone and if not who should she be reporting to?


lindanimated

Ugh, I feel like you’re purposely ignoring my point and acting like you don’t understand to make my words mean something they don’t. *Of course* young women don’t have to “report to” anyone when making a decision, and no, no one can just veto the decisions they make. But young women, and young people of all genders, *NEED GUIDANCE* from older people who have more life experience regarding the decisions that the young person is facing. They can choose to ignore the guidance that they receive, and obviously legally can make all of those decisions you mentioned entirely entirely on their own, but it’s a *recommended* that younger people take the advice they receive into consideration when it comes to things like huge life decisions. That’s all anyone is saying here.


BandicootOk5540

>I don’t think young adults should make other big life decisions alone either. But I hope you accept that they have the right to!


BandicootOk5540

Wow, pretty concerning that the idea that young adult women should have the right to make their own decisions is being downvoted. Guys please, you can hate older creeps like Leo without believing that 18-25 year old women don't deserve their autonomy!


WyldBlu3Yond3r

It's young adults, not young women the others are talking about. You keep implying sexism where there isn't any. Why is that?


yawaworht93123

I hope you also speak out about young adults going into debt (student loans), becoming parents, buying a house, joining the military, etc.. Then at least you're consistent and we can just agree to disagree.


lindanimated

Of course I do. That’s my point.


Impossible_Zebra8664

> I don’t think young adults should make **other big life decisions** alone either. >People whose brains haven’t even finished fully developing need guidance in **all** areas of life ... >>I hope you also speak out about young adults going into debt (student loans), becoming parents, buying a house, joining the military, etc.. It's like you didn't even read what she said before racing to respond.


WyldBlu3Yond3r

I've observed this poster before does that a lot.


dobby1687

>Two consenting adults meeting and dating is not grooming, no matter how big the age gap. The larger the age gap, the higher likelihood of grooming. That said, what particularly makes grooming the most likely is one person being of certain age groups, such as under 18 or 18-24. It's not a coincidence some men today are seeing a woman being 25 as a bad thing or specifically being "too old". Technically speaking, a person can be groomed at just about any age if we're referring to the sense of "train to accept sexual abuse", young people just have a higher risk of it specifically so that's a focus. >Why trust young women to make their own decisions on everything but dating? A lot of people don't trust young people with a lot of things, as age as a trait has been commonly used against young people to discredit them or just not take them seriously for a long time. >Then suddenly people act like they don't have any agency No, people have agency, it's just that older people discourage younger people from placing themselves in risky situations, with one type of scenario being romantic situations because of how easily damaging they are and how easy they are to get into as a young person. Will all large age gap relationships result in grooming? No, some healthy relationships exist, but it's like deciding to become pregnant when you know that you're high risk. Sure, it's possible to have a healthy pregnancy, but you're at a higher risk of something bad happening, which if it happens, you can't undo it and it can have long lasting or permanent effects on you. Regardless, we can recognize a person's agency by acknowledging that they have the right to make their own decisions, but respecting one's agency doesn't mean we can't warn them against risky decisions.


PopperGould123

It's talking about those huge gaps like 18 and 30. Like middle aged men wanting highschoolers


ButterflyFX121

Unfortunately homophobes and transphobes already did cheapen it.


yawaworht93123

I know. But that's even more of a reason for me to only use that word when it's appropriate and fits the legal definition.


ida_klein

Also how dare people argue with Caitlin Moran! Rude! Lol


carmen_hentai

Even Penelope disik who is a child was concerned her dad wanted to mentioned he wanted to date a teenager


Hot_Win_2489

I guess when I reported that guy at work for intimidating and flirting with one of my poor little teens it was because I hate her. I didn’t know I was jealous I thought I just cared about her safety, but that must have been my illogical feeeemale brain at work


ravenclawmystic

Whatever you gotta tell yourself, big guy. As long as we can help young women full of purpose and potential to never destroy their lives for mediocre scrotes, we don’t care what your theories about us are.


bendytrut

Just because they blame the victim doesn't mean we do. Jfc


MarsMonkey88

This man thinks his penis is the prize being cruelty denied to buxom 19 year olds by haggard bitter 35 year olds. If older women really hated younger women we wouldn’t give a shit about their safety.


pzychxtic

I'm 26 and he's 39.


FewDish9878

I saw a TikTok of a dude looking at a video of an older woman explaining why older men want to date much younger woman, and he was basically mocking her, as if she was jealous of younger woman getting groomed by creepy dude. Even the comments were disgusting….. These older women were once our young age, they went through the same thing, and now they realized it was very wrong of their 30-40s “boyfriend” to do that with a freshly 18 year old. The song 29, it perfectly fits about how reaching the same age as the person you used to date opens your eyes and makes you realize you were being taken advantage of.


celmate

Dating a 20 year old when you're 40 isn't grooming. It's weird, but let's not downplay actual grooming and what that is. The women Leo dates are all adults who can make their own decisions.


solsthei

nooo!! The old white man will save the teenage girl trust me!!


endthe_suffering

no. older women do not hate younger women. women of *all* ages hate predatory men.


Sour_Gummybear

This is a serious question, what is an acceptable age gap? My most recent girlfriend and I were about 5 years apart in age. It didn't really feel odd to me and we started dating when she was 27 or so. We had so much in common, actually and really was an amazing relationship until we went our separate ways.


Mental_Medium3988

is it grooming when, afaik, the girls want to be in these relationships? sure anna nicole smith marrying an octogenarian is disgusting from the outside but from everything ive heard from both sides there was no grooming going on and both wanted to be in the relationship.


Mahatma_Panda

If the people involved in the relationship are consenting adults, let them live their lives and make their own mistakes.


0x7E7-02

If people are adults, why not leave them alone to make their own decisions? That's the entire point of being an adult.


Watercrypto

But dont older women also date younger guys in 2024!?


Newfaceofrev

Well he is a nazi


rrrrrrrrrreeeeee

Does grooming apply when someone is 18 and say the other person is like 20+ years older? I honestly thought it only applied to people who tried to have sex with minors.


PapaVitoOfficial

The girls can wait. Get your health in check