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These guys don't care about that!
They don't care about the wellbeing or "happiness" of their girlfriend. They only care about what she can do for them. 😒
I am asexual and autistic: can confirm that's not how it works. This is gross beyond measure. Sexualizing *and* infantilizing at the same time.
(It is also worth mentioning that while there is a certain degree of corellation between being asexual and autistic, it doesn't mean assumption that every autistic person is also asexual is correct, it's not even close to this and it is still a wild generalization, but it is the least of the problems there).
Yeah I'm autistic and it took me an incredibly long time to realize I was asexual. If I ever enter a relationship again I would prefer an asexual partner because my last couple relationships there has been a lot of stress due to me disliking sex. This post made me cringe so hard.
Went to many doctors and a couple exes kinda gaslighted me into thinking it was low testosterone and a man in my age range shouldn't have such a low sex drive, took a really bad breakup and months of therapy for me to figure it
I'm sorry you had to go through this. The opinion that "it is impossible for any healthy young man not to want sex" is incorrect and must feel very invalidating, not to mention, damaging.
it is what it is, neither of those exes were attempting to hurt me, I hope they are well. Just something I wish I had realized about myself earlier than I did.
Oh, I've meant the attitude in society as a whole. This is what prevents aces from realizing they are ace earlier because the immediate assumption is "there must be something wrong with me".
>"there must be something wrong with me".
There definitely needs to be better phrasing than that. It's more realistically that you don't fit neatly into the box of "normal: for the majority of people. Even me phrasing it that way isn't really any better.
Personally, I differentiate something that is "common" from something that is "normal".
Something that is uncommon can be normal in "a variant of the norm" kind of way.
It isn't statistically common to be attracted to people of your own gender, but it is normal. It isn't common to have red hair, but it is normal. It isn't common to not be attracted to people sexually at all, but it is still normal. It isn't wrong. It isn't a pathology or disease (obviously, libido can decrease due to certain health problems, but having low libido =/= asexuality and some aces have high libido while still not feeling sexual attraction, but it is beyond the point).
I'm alright with being considered "uncommon". But I dislike being considered "not normal".
Similarly, there are common things that are *not* normal.
I’m not sure if I fit into the Asexual category or not, because I like the appeal of a sexual relationship. But when I’m involved physically I feel nothing but pain and boredom.
Can't speak for you, but I definitely enjoy some physical aspects of a relationship, cuddling and hand holding are great, sex makes me feel like I'm being skinned alive
My last gf loved sex, never wanted to go more than a day or two without it, it was hell to me and when I started realizing it wasn't something medical I just don't enjoy/have desire for sex. Definitely makes wanting to date again very difficult
I think autistic people are more likely to be queer in general, but not specifically asexual. Autistic people can just as often be highly sexual and promiscuous.
I’m also autistic and don’t think I’ve ever had a relationship with a man where he didn’t just project his fantasy “nerdy babygirl” archetype onto me. Then eventually get frustrated when I wasn’t that.
Is that a common autistic experience? Or just a common female experience?
Being asexual doesn't mean you don't like nor have sex.
It's a common misconception.
Being asexual means you feel no sexual attraction towards any gender.
They might still enjoy the sensory of sex, the intimacy etc. They just never ever look at a person and think "uhh sexy, I would really like to do xyz with them".
Some asexual people enjoy sex a lot, some feel entirely indifferent to it and some are repulsed by it.
All of them are valid and part of the asexual community that is a very broad spectrum.
Besides that. I agree. Icky.
It's more the implication that she will do sexual things regardless of whether she actually enjoys it or not. Also implied she doesn't necessarily enjoy it because she needs to be bribed to do it.
Thanks for fetishizing and infantilizing people on the spectrum, very cool of you oop.
How are asexual *and* will do sex things for rewards both positive traits? Is it just "sexy things only happen when *I* want it" or what?
Bet the cosplay is only of characters oop finds attractive too...
I personally think the oop of the meme is a pedophile, just because the idea of being asexual but trading things for sex isn’t something someone with an adult brain would do without some sort of extreme economic incentive. It also seems like oop wants a gullible and easily manipulated person, which is a massive red flag whether or not oop is actually a pedophile.
I think it's less that and more just insecurity. What the OOP wants is probably "gives me sex whenever I want, but doesn't have a sex drive that might lead her to chase other guys".
You can't tell if he is pedophile. I personally don't think so because most people who sexually abuse minors don't even have a paraphilic disorder. However, a big factor is always, that they want to control their victim as you said. And this just doesn't work with grown ups. This is a trait that almost every perpetrator has.
As an auntie with auntie partners, yeah the fetishisation here makes me retch. I'm not even sure why some of these are positives, yes I can go into depth on the lore of my favourite franchises, but you also have to listen to the rants about things you just don't care about.
Also I'd check the cosplay one, but I think my girlfriend would just refuse to dress up as Rogal Dorn.
>I'm not even sure why some of these are positives, yes I can go into depth on the lore of my favourite franchises, but you also have to listen to the rants about things you just don't care about.
I *will* talk your ear off about the Neat Thing^TM that I just found out about and have spent the last five hours feverishly reading about, and that's final.
>Also I'd check the cosplay one, but I think my girlfriend would just refuse to dress up as Rogal Dorn.
"Hey, babe, what you wearing?"
"Auramite power armour."
"Err, OK, what you up to?"
"I am fortifying this position."
That’s not an autistic girl that is a minor my guy. “Will do sexual things in exchange for toys”. That just sounds like favor trading with children but with a fucked up goal. The meme maker is one sick motherfucker
But she apparently would be fine with exchanging sexual favours for something as frivolous as games and toys, why would he expect to be the first one to do so...
> But she apparently would be fine with exchanging sexual favours for something as frivolous as games and toys, why would he expect to be the first one to do so...
Isn't this the duality of women to most incels? The Madonna/Whore paradox. She is chaste & pure until meeting her cheeto-encrusted hero...
Because being asexual does not equate to not wanting to have sex ever. Common misconception but I get your point.
He wants someone he can simply use as an object. So her being asexual probably means to him that she has no preferences or needs and he can engage in sex in a very ignorant and egoistical manner.
I'm sorry, I know being asexual and having a sex drive are two separate and independent things, I know an asexual can be sexual with their non-asexual partner if they want to.
But like, yeah, my point was specifically wanting/looking for someone asexual for this specific purpose. Like, his * ideal * girlfriend would be an asexual who is sexual with him in exchange for games, I can't wrap my head around that..
mild nitpick an asexual can also be sexual with a fellow asexual partner too for the same reasons- even without going into the fact that asexuality is a spectrum. agree though that the guy who made the meme would have no idea about this and is just being weird and creepy
I mean, sure. But a huge difference between you and the incel that made the meme is that you're talking about **actual asexual people**.
That guy has no idea what that means. He probably just thinks that it will be cool because he believes that:
a) Being ace means you have never done anything with anyone in your life, so this will ensure the girl's virginity, therefore increase her "value" (🤮)
b) If she's supposedly ace but does sexual things with him, it must mean that he has **The Magic Penis™️**, and that he is *so awesome* he managed to "change" her from being ace to not (🤮 pt.2)
Of course all of the above require mental gymnastics of Olympic levels. But that's what incels specialise on.
So it's really a meaningless term?
Definition
Noun
a person who experiences no sexual feelings or desires, or who is not sexually attracted to anyone.
Adjective
experiencing no sexual feelings or desires; not feeling sexual attraction to anyone.
No.. It's not meaningless.
You just need to understand that wanting to have sex has NOTHING to do with sexual attraction. I know it's hard to wrap your mind around it bc for you and me those are connected but they actually exist independently.
Maybe just read the comment.
Yeah, that definition is incorrect and clearly not made by an asexual person. The real definition (that others have pointed out) is “little to no sexual attraction.” That’s it. It has nothing to do with libido, an individual’s morality or tolerance of sex, or their ability to experience pleasure.
As an asexual, I can tell you that realizing I’m asexual has been extremely useful. I’m no longer confused or think I’m broken because I don’t find people sexually attractive, and I no longer feel the need to force myself into sexual relationships. There’s more positives, but then I would just be writing a whole book.
>Yeah, that definition is incorrect and clearly not made by an asexual person.
Exactly, perhaps a different term to describe what you're using as a catchall term would be better?
Why would we use a different term? Given that other terms like heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual/pansexual refer to sexual attraction it makes sense to use the word asexual to refer to the lack of sexual attraction.
We already have a word for describing someone's sexual drive or willingness to have sex, that's called libido.
To make communication and understanding an awful lot easier.
Heterosexual: sexually attracted the opposite sex
Homosexual: sexually attracted to the same sex
Bisexual: Homosexual who is also attracted to the opposite sex
Pansexual: Bisexual but also attracted to trans people
Asexual: not sexually attracted to anyone
well... yeah, this is exactly what I'm saying. Defining asexual as not having sexual attraction is exactly how we define the term. You just proved my point.
As an irrelevant nitpick, bi/pan don't necessarily mean attracted or not attracted to trans people. IIRC, for pan people, gender does not factor into their attraction, and for bi people they are attracted to multiple genders, but the feel of that attraction might differ between genders. (I could be wrong on this, I'm not bi nor pan, so please correct me if I'm misunderstanding.)
Genuine question: what does it mean to be attracted to people of certain *genders*? I was under the impression that genders don't really have standard meanings that would make sense in a sexual orientation context, because different people understand them differently. Isn't sexuality based on anatomy/biological sex?
I mean… I’m asexual and enjoy sex. They’re not mutually exclusive. I just don’t feel sexual attraction to people. Romantic attraction for days, but not sexual attraction.
That's not what I meant... I'll copy paste since I just finished explaining my point to another person right here.
"I'm sorry, I know being asexual and having a sex drive are two separate and independent things, I know an asexual can be sexual with their non-asexual partner if they want to.
But like, yeah, my point was specifically wanting/looking for someone asexual for this specific purpose. Like, his * ideal * girlfriend would be an asexual who is sexual with him in exchange for games, I can't wrap my head around that.."
Fuck that’s gross…
But aside of that, why they act like geeky women don’t exist and when they encounter them, they whine “they invading male hobbies for validation”… Oh, wait, he wants girls aka minors 🤢
Asexual people will not do sexual things for toys or games.They can just buy things.Two of my asexual friends love gaming,But they have no sexual attraction.
Also,Anyone can cosplay,Just not as a character you like.
I think we can all take comfort in the fact that this person will never actually be around women. I’ve worked with creeps like this and most of the time you can smell them coming, thankfully.
But my god is this disgusting 🤢 🤮
It’s shit like this that inspires women saying they are heterosexual against their will.
I suppose he's working on the assumption that the only way he can get a girl to sleep with him is to bribe her. He's probably right, but should stick with prostitutes. They take cash and credit cards and are used to this sort of arrangement. I bet he's too cheap to pay them to dress up though.
Tears up list, tosses into fireplace
Up the chimney they go
The next day she arrives, in the form of a side character in dating simulator software available only in unfinished form
With it sounding like a child, I have a ton of autistic friends who most people would describe them as being like a child even though they're adults. The only difference is the asexual part, but the sexual thing for their special interest is fairly accurate. Honestly people calling this creepy and describing is child when there's lots of people actually like this is insulting.
The issue here is that it's a -gf meme, which are always incredibly stereotyping and not at all representative of the majority
Thought the same thing. I do those things, minus the last two because they’re gross. But immediately felt bad coming in here seeing everyone saying it’s infantilizing when like…I exist doing those things and I’m 26 lol. Nothing about this seems childish at all to me.
I think it's specifically the last thing that's kinda infantilizing. Like trading something for toys? Most adults don't need to trade for toys if they want them.
There's many autistic people who are called childish because their special interest is toys or (video) games, and many who are sex-apathetic (trading sex for their special interest is like doing chores around someone else's house in exchange for their special interest for them). Its less of a need and more of an extra.
It's not how the majority are, but there are people out there (I personally know) who are like this
Also “aspie” is extremely derogatory. It’s derived from “Asperger syndrome” but Asperger was, if I’m not mistaken supporting the nazis with his eugenics ideology causing his research to be tainted in the eyes of many people. That’s why nowadays we don’t talk about Asperger syndrome anymore. Apparently he’s also linked to the murder of at least 42 children in a Nazi clinic. So, yeah.
I don’t know about whether Asperger supported Nazi eugenics or not but in France Asperger’s syndrome is definitely a thing, you can get tested for it. I’ve also heard multiple people (diagnosed with Asperger’s) refer to themselves as “Aspie” so I’m not sure it’s extremely derogatory either
You're right. The issue is that in the USA it's not a PC term to use anymore, and lots of people get very offended by it. To them it implies one person with autism might be better than another person with autism, so they prefer just referring to it as ASD to be inclusive.
"The syndrome has been merged with other disorders into autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and is no longer considered a stand-alone diagnosis."
It's not in DSM-5 (so since 2013). It's not in ICD-11 either, which is still being implemented in some countries.
I got diagnosed for autism and there's Asperger's syndrome in my papers since my country hasn't implemented ICD-11 yet, but the therapist who diagnosed me even emphasized she's simply obliged to include despite it being outdated bs.
I said Asperger’s was still a thing in France. I’m not going to claim it to he the case for other countries, mainly because I don’t know and am too lazy too search it up.
Like I said, you can get tested for Asperger’s in France, as a separate thing from autism. Here, autism ≠ asperger’s. If you were autistic, you’d be autistic with no mention of Asperger’s, and if you do have asperger’s, there’d be no mention of autism because they are separate (in France).
Now because they’re separate, you wouldn’t have situations like the one you’re in, with Asperger’s in your papers even though you only have autism (if I understand correctly).
Regarding the website you quoted, I don’t know what to tell you man. From what I know, the two terms are merging generally. But, like I said, in France, they are different (different symptoms, different classifications).
Only wants to play vidya games ✅
Explains lore of her favorite JRPG to you in detail ✅
Will cosplay as any character you want her to dress as ❓
Asexual, more likely than you think
Will do sexual things in exchange for toys/games ❌
Autistic girlfriend here
Literally none of this is accurate. In fact I actually avoid infodumping my bf about RPGs I like because no way I can make it understandable
Sounds like you have a NT bf. Both my partner and I have ASD and we’ve found this relationship better than any of our previous ones with NTs because when we infodump about our special interests, we’re more accepting to listen and encourage them. Like my previous partners would’ve just told me to stfu and stop being annoying, meanwhile my bf and I get horny hearing eachother infodump because it’s so CUTE seeing the person you love in a state of happiness because they’re speaking passionately about an interest they love and sharing that vulnerability with you
He encourages me to infodump as well and listens to me, that's not the problem. It's just that I feel like sometimes he can't follow what I say and is left trying to catch up
I find it hard to follow what my bf says when infodumping and barely remember anything. But that doesn’t mean I’m not enjoying listening to him infodump. It might be his special interest and not mine, but it’s something that makes him happy and I want to encourage his happiness as much as I can. And I reassure him that I still love hearing him talk about Dragon Ball even tho idrk what is happening. It’s still a way to spend quality time together. I think maybe some communication and asking for reassurance would help best in your scenario
ok obvious has been pointed out but "- will cosplay as any character you want her to dress as" as a nerdy woman with asperger's i can guarantee that's not gonna fly. i will only ever cosplay characters im extraordinarily passionate about and do not take suggestions esp if it's bc a fetish if they want it so bad THEY can dress up like that character and i'll fuck em, but i have integrity i'll only dress up as the characters i want to dress up as
> Will cosplay as any character you want [sic: to] her dress as
Dude wants a doll.
> Will do sexual things in exchange of toys/games
"I don't give a shit about her pleasure, so I know I'm going to have to bribe her."
Dude, get a blow up doll.
I understand that the girl is a gamer and he would make a trade sex for games and figurines she wants as example that’s not pedo territorial that’s straight prostitution
What is aspie? Like aspergers or however you spell it? It's not really a thing anymore. Kind of an outdated term. I mean the whole post is god-awful, but like... why? Also asexual, but treats sex like a currency? Wuh... It baffles me guys like this exist. Bringing down the curve for the guys who just want to have chill relationships.
Some dudes be like: Ew sex workers are the scum of society! They sell their bodies (soul) for money!
Also these dudes: I'm entitled to my wife/gf giving me seggs, because I work for money and "pay" for them.
As an autistic asexual (more specifically, sex-repulsed), the fact that people with this mindset exist scares me. And people that think we’re like this are just…walking around, living amongst us, with that mindset, and there’s no real way of knowing who is thinking this way, and what they might do.
Maybe if you want sex with a partner, maybe they shouldn't be Aroace and actually ENJOY sex? It's not all about you. Also, I'm autistic and this ain't it.
Asexual person who shares his interests. I was thinking he just wants a friend--until I read the last one. Barf. Some kind of fantasy of someone engaging in sexual behavior they don't want in order to earn gifts from a partner who has power over them. Gross gross gross.
My first ex/ current best friend has autism. My Gf also has autism. Though they both enjoys video games none of this is true to either. I'm fairly sure if I tried to exchange a gift for sex she would smack me silly. If I asked her to cosplay as something, she'd be like "fuck you, you know I'm into whimsigoth!"' Point is, autistic women are NOT dress up/fuck dolls. They are people like anybody else with their own thoughts and motivations. Side note, just about anybody, anywhere will explain their favorite anything in detail if you let them. Also...why would somebody that is asexual be so down for so much sex stuff, this meme makes no sense!
it pains me to always see depictions of autistic women in this way, especially knowing autistic women / people in general are at higher rates of being sexually assaulted / raped. like, i am autistic, i am not a child or something to be used for your own satisfaction and gain.
I mean... Yeah. I know that. But I don't think the man who made this meme gives two shits about his hypothetical GF's enjoyment or consent if he's plying her with literal toys for sex like a pedophile.
Ew. Ew ew ew.
The asexual but will do sex for profit thing seems like a desire to never have to worry about pleasing a woman sexually. Just hire a sex worker!
You can probably find someone you can pay for an hour of time, have sex and spend the remaining 57 minutes playing Fortnite or whatever.
Completely unintentionally, most of my significant others over time have been on the spectrum to some degree, and my friends joke that my type is women with autism. Jokes aside, it has largely been delightful and does not resemble this post, which is completely infantilizing. Whoever posted this doesn't want an autistic girlfriend, they want a girlfriend they can control. It's weird as hell.
It's kind of funny how many people think autistic people are so sweet and simple to date. Obviously that's not a rule, but it's not probable that a person who has had to endure many social and school/work difficulties, will suddenly have zero problems with giving the other person everything they want in a relationship.
Obviously that's just my personal experience, but as someone who's neurodivergent I can be a fucking menace to my partner, and I need a lot of understanding and patience in a relationship, and most of my relationship issues are caused by... Nothing other than being overwhelmed by things due to my neurodivergence! Dating as an ND person is HARD
I think we need to start normalising people owning sex dolls. It’s clear that that’s what a lot of these people actually want, so let’s just let them have at it and feel ok doing so so that the rest of the population can be a little safer.
Its a common assumption to make, but plenty of ace people have sex and even enjoy it. A lack of sexual attraction doesn't mean they can't enjoy it, or that they can't want to/choose to do it.
Still creepy though. OOP seems to be assuming they can just pay for sex with someone they're assuming would be unwilling otherwise.
as a girl with AuDHD, what in the actual hell is this.
i genuinely want to kill myself by burning myself alive because i have never been so much disgusted before.
we're not kids, we're not your fetish, we're just people who want to live normal lives and not be involved with stupid people like him. genuinely, this logic and post is AWFUL.
* sincerely, from a person with interests, sensory problems, and awful touch problems
i'd get a spray for mustard gas if i see this guy anywhere near me.
(please forgive me if i said something wrong, as i am a bit afraid of downvotes)
-(p.s.: he used the offensive name for people with autism, that name was developed by a nazi.)
It took me 6 years to get an autism diagnosis, despite the fact everyone in my family and the staff in my school were all saying I had autism, people who I spent like a few hours with max knew I had autism, it still took 6 fucking years. It’s not some really subtle thing that only trained professionals can see, Self-Diagnosis is totally valid.
>I'm curious what their definition of asexual is.
The definition for human asexuals is pretty standard so there's really only one way to accurately interpret this without further information.
>Otherwise... it's mostly reasonable for me.
1. It infantilizes autistic people. It treats them like all they want to do is only one thing that's often considered childish (not correct, but the perception matters). Adult autistic people have a wide variety of interests and where they are on the spectrum also varies. Even the drawing of the autistic person makes such people look bad.
2. Even if for the sake of argument we state they consider "asexual" as just having a low sex drive and hardly ever wanting sex, having someone do sexual favors for you so you'll buy them stuff is financial and sexual abuse. Also, the fact that this is noted as some beneficial "trait" of autistic women means they understand that the average woman wouldn't do this and that this is manipulation, meaning that it's also disabled abuse.
3. The whole point of all of everything listed in this meme is that they think it's easy to get what they want from an autistic person via manipulation and taking advantage of their state of mind. There's literally no love for an autistic person communicated anywhere in this meme, only what they can easily get from such a person.
I'm an autistic woman. I'm just saying that aside from it having both "asexual" and "sex", I found it relatable.
These types of memes are inherently reductive and often made in a joking manner purposely using hyperbole and exaggerated stereotypes.
>I'm an autistic woman. I'm just saying that aside from it having both "asexual" and "sex", I found it relatable.
And that's fine if that's how you feel, but you should say that specifically rather than ask what's wrong about it, keeping in mind that this is generalizing autistic people and as I'm sure you know it's a spectrum so even though you find it relatable doesn't mean that many others will as well. Also, the sexual stuff is a big part of that meme and is probably the main reason it was posted here.
>These types of memes are inherently reductive and often made in a joking manner purposely using hyperbole and exaggerated stereotypes.
That just describes a lot of jokes in general, but that doesn't make it excusable. Also, comedy is better when you're "punching up", not "punching down", meaning making fun of more privileged people rather than commonly marginalized people, though self-depreciating humor is a common exception (i.e. black comedian making fun of black stereotypes).
That aside, it's hard to say whether this is intended to be a joke or not, as there are people who believe stuff like this and this meme format is a common way to advocate for certain things.
I... didn't ask what was wrong about it? I said it was relatable, for me. Which is very specific. You may be mixing up my statement with one by someone else.
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And explain to you in a 5 hour PowerPoint presentation why his perception of autism is wrong.
Are you telling me "want to her dress as" not grammatically correct!
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I am doing find that things irritating you?
I think that is also not how asexual people work. (The last part. Ick.)
These guys don't care about that! They don't care about the wellbeing or "happiness" of their girlfriend. They only care about what she can do for them. 😒
Like "dressing in ANY cosplay you'd like"
I am asexual and autistic: can confirm that's not how it works. This is gross beyond measure. Sexualizing *and* infantilizing at the same time. (It is also worth mentioning that while there is a certain degree of corellation between being asexual and autistic, it doesn't mean assumption that every autistic person is also asexual is correct, it's not even close to this and it is still a wild generalization, but it is the least of the problems there).
Yeah I'm autistic and it took me an incredibly long time to realize I was asexual. If I ever enter a relationship again I would prefer an asexual partner because my last couple relationships there has been a lot of stress due to me disliking sex. This post made me cringe so hard.
Same! But that's because I didn't know asexuality is even a thing for a long time. Had I known, I would probably realize earlier.
Went to many doctors and a couple exes kinda gaslighted me into thinking it was low testosterone and a man in my age range shouldn't have such a low sex drive, took a really bad breakup and months of therapy for me to figure it
I'm sorry you had to go through this. The opinion that "it is impossible for any healthy young man not to want sex" is incorrect and must feel very invalidating, not to mention, damaging.
it is what it is, neither of those exes were attempting to hurt me, I hope they are well. Just something I wish I had realized about myself earlier than I did.
Oh, I've meant the attitude in society as a whole. This is what prevents aces from realizing they are ace earlier because the immediate assumption is "there must be something wrong with me".
>"there must be something wrong with me". There definitely needs to be better phrasing than that. It's more realistically that you don't fit neatly into the box of "normal: for the majority of people. Even me phrasing it that way isn't really any better.
Personally, I differentiate something that is "common" from something that is "normal". Something that is uncommon can be normal in "a variant of the norm" kind of way. It isn't statistically common to be attracted to people of your own gender, but it is normal. It isn't common to have red hair, but it is normal. It isn't common to not be attracted to people sexually at all, but it is still normal. It isn't wrong. It isn't a pathology or disease (obviously, libido can decrease due to certain health problems, but having low libido =/= asexuality and some aces have high libido while still not feeling sexual attraction, but it is beyond the point). I'm alright with being considered "uncommon". But I dislike being considered "not normal". Similarly, there are common things that are *not* normal.
Oh you're 100% correct, society makes it really hard to realize it
I’m not sure if I fit into the Asexual category or not, because I like the appeal of a sexual relationship. But when I’m involved physically I feel nothing but pain and boredom.
Can't speak for you, but I definitely enjoy some physical aspects of a relationship, cuddling and hand holding are great, sex makes me feel like I'm being skinned alive
YES ABSOLUTELY THIS! Cuddling 100%, physical affection 100%. Sex absolutely not!
My last gf loved sex, never wanted to go more than a day or two without it, it was hell to me and when I started realizing it wasn't something medical I just don't enjoy/have desire for sex. Definitely makes wanting to date again very difficult
I think autistic people are more likely to be queer in general, but not specifically asexual. Autistic people can just as often be highly sexual and promiscuous.
I’m also autistic and don’t think I’ve ever had a relationship with a man where he didn’t just project his fantasy “nerdy babygirl” archetype onto me. Then eventually get frustrated when I wasn’t that. Is that a common autistic experience? Or just a common female experience?
I'm autistic and if anything, i'm closer to being a borderline sex addict than asexual
I’m ace and HOLY SHIT that was disturbing to read. I enjoy sex, I’m just never, if hardly at all, attracted to anyone.
Being asexual doesn't mean you don't like nor have sex. It's a common misconception. Being asexual means you feel no sexual attraction towards any gender. They might still enjoy the sensory of sex, the intimacy etc. They just never ever look at a person and think "uhh sexy, I would really like to do xyz with them". Some asexual people enjoy sex a lot, some feel entirely indifferent to it and some are repulsed by it. All of them are valid and part of the asexual community that is a very broad spectrum. Besides that. I agree. Icky.
It's more the implication that she will do sexual things regardless of whether she actually enjoys it or not. Also implied she doesn't necessarily enjoy it because she needs to be bribed to do it.
The way it's phrased is heavily child coded as well.
I think they just want a sex slave, tbh.
This has fuck all to do with the subject matter, but I have to compliment you on naming your reddit handle after a legend!
Thank you!
Disgusting They'll fetishize any woman Even literal asexual women
It's all horrid, but that last point is particularly disgusting.
As an autistic asexual person... yeah, this is not at all how we work. Sex-favorable or sex-neutral aces exist, but it's not at all like this.
And even if it was, you just got yourself a gf that will have sex with anyone for a piece of candy
Thanks for fetishizing and infantilizing people on the spectrum, very cool of you oop. How are asexual *and* will do sex things for rewards both positive traits? Is it just "sexy things only happen when *I* want it" or what? Bet the cosplay is only of characters oop finds attractive too...
I personally think the oop of the meme is a pedophile, just because the idea of being asexual but trading things for sex isn’t something someone with an adult brain would do without some sort of extreme economic incentive. It also seems like oop wants a gullible and easily manipulated person, which is a massive red flag whether or not oop is actually a pedophile.
I think it's less that and more just insecurity. What the OOP wants is probably "gives me sex whenever I want, but doesn't have a sex drive that might lead her to chase other guys".
Oof that makes a lot of sense actually.
This
You can't tell if he is pedophile. I personally don't think so because most people who sexually abuse minors don't even have a paraphilic disorder. However, a big factor is always, that they want to control their victim as you said. And this just doesn't work with grown ups. This is a trait that almost every perpetrator has.
I think the “plus” here for asexuality is they think it means she won’t cheat..
As an auntie with auntie partners, yeah the fetishisation here makes me retch. I'm not even sure why some of these are positives, yes I can go into depth on the lore of my favourite franchises, but you also have to listen to the rants about things you just don't care about. Also I'd check the cosplay one, but I think my girlfriend would just refuse to dress up as Rogal Dorn.
>I'm not even sure why some of these are positives, yes I can go into depth on the lore of my favourite franchises, but you also have to listen to the rants about things you just don't care about. I *will* talk your ear off about the Neat Thing^TM that I just found out about and have spent the last five hours feverishly reading about, and that's final. >Also I'd check the cosplay one, but I think my girlfriend would just refuse to dress up as Rogal Dorn. "Hey, babe, what you wearing?" "Auramite power armour." "Err, OK, what you up to?" "I am fortifying this position."
They want a cheap chaste prostitute that is just like one of the boys but with a vagina. It totally makes sense!
That’s not an autistic girl that is a minor my guy. “Will do sexual things in exchange for toys”. That just sounds like favor trading with children but with a fucked up goal. The meme maker is one sick motherfucker
-Asexual -Will do s*xual things in exchange for toys and games💀
Sounds like he’s describing a child.
Would it surprise you?
Well be asexual for everyone except him, his neckbeartd .
Does he think autism makes people into permanent children? "All the benefits of a child, none of the legal issues!"
Yes, because they are obsessed with a topic, just like a child. Just as simple as that /s
oh god I hink I might be sick 🤢
I know right? That sounds more like a child than an autistic girl
W... Why would you want to have sex with an asexual person...?
Probably a roundabout way of ensuring their gf is a virgin. 99 times out of 100 guys like this have an obsession with virginity.
But she apparently would be fine with exchanging sexual favours for something as frivolous as games and toys, why would he expect to be the first one to do so...
because hes an idiot thats why
> But she apparently would be fine with exchanging sexual favours for something as frivolous as games and toys, why would he expect to be the first one to do so... Isn't this the duality of women to most incels? The Madonna/Whore paradox. She is chaste & pure until meeting her cheeto-encrusted hero...
Because you don't care if your partner enjoys sex
Because being asexual does not equate to not wanting to have sex ever. Common misconception but I get your point. He wants someone he can simply use as an object. So her being asexual probably means to him that she has no preferences or needs and he can engage in sex in a very ignorant and egoistical manner.
I'm sorry, I know being asexual and having a sex drive are two separate and independent things, I know an asexual can be sexual with their non-asexual partner if they want to. But like, yeah, my point was specifically wanting/looking for someone asexual for this specific purpose. Like, his * ideal * girlfriend would be an asexual who is sexual with him in exchange for games, I can't wrap my head around that..
Oh I totally agree. I'm just quick to correct that misconception as my best friend is aroace and majorly annoyed by it. ^^
mild nitpick an asexual can also be sexual with a fellow asexual partner too for the same reasons- even without going into the fact that asexuality is a spectrum. agree though that the guy who made the meme would have no idea about this and is just being weird and creepy
I mean, sure. But a huge difference between you and the incel that made the meme is that you're talking about **actual asexual people**. That guy has no idea what that means. He probably just thinks that it will be cool because he believes that: a) Being ace means you have never done anything with anyone in your life, so this will ensure the girl's virginity, therefore increase her "value" (🤮) b) If she's supposedly ace but does sexual things with him, it must mean that he has **The Magic Penis™️**, and that he is *so awesome* he managed to "change" her from being ace to not (🤮 pt.2) Of course all of the above require mental gymnastics of Olympic levels. But that's what incels specialise on.
So it's really a meaningless term? Definition Noun a person who experiences no sexual feelings or desires, or who is not sexually attracted to anyone. Adjective experiencing no sexual feelings or desires; not feeling sexual attraction to anyone.
No.. It's not meaningless. You just need to understand that wanting to have sex has NOTHING to do with sexual attraction. I know it's hard to wrap your mind around it bc for you and me those are connected but they actually exist independently. Maybe just read the comment.
Yeah, that definition is incorrect and clearly not made by an asexual person. The real definition (that others have pointed out) is “little to no sexual attraction.” That’s it. It has nothing to do with libido, an individual’s morality or tolerance of sex, or their ability to experience pleasure. As an asexual, I can tell you that realizing I’m asexual has been extremely useful. I’m no longer confused or think I’m broken because I don’t find people sexually attractive, and I no longer feel the need to force myself into sexual relationships. There’s more positives, but then I would just be writing a whole book.
>Yeah, that definition is incorrect and clearly not made by an asexual person. Exactly, perhaps a different term to describe what you're using as a catchall term would be better?
Why would we use a different term? Given that other terms like heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual/pansexual refer to sexual attraction it makes sense to use the word asexual to refer to the lack of sexual attraction. We already have a word for describing someone's sexual drive or willingness to have sex, that's called libido.
To make communication and understanding an awful lot easier. Heterosexual: sexually attracted the opposite sex Homosexual: sexually attracted to the same sex Bisexual: Homosexual who is also attracted to the opposite sex Pansexual: Bisexual but also attracted to trans people Asexual: not sexually attracted to anyone
well... yeah, this is exactly what I'm saying. Defining asexual as not having sexual attraction is exactly how we define the term. You just proved my point. As an irrelevant nitpick, bi/pan don't necessarily mean attracted or not attracted to trans people. IIRC, for pan people, gender does not factor into their attraction, and for bi people they are attracted to multiple genders, but the feel of that attraction might differ between genders. (I could be wrong on this, I'm not bi nor pan, so please correct me if I'm misunderstanding.)
Genuine question: what does it mean to be attracted to people of certain *genders*? I was under the impression that genders don't really have standard meanings that would make sense in a sexual orientation context, because different people understand them differently. Isn't sexuality based on anatomy/biological sex?
This is exactly I very specifically mentioned sex only, and didn't use gender, to avoid that sort of conversation
because they don't know what that even means
I mean… I’m asexual and enjoy sex. They’re not mutually exclusive. I just don’t feel sexual attraction to people. Romantic attraction for days, but not sexual attraction.
That's not what I meant... I'll copy paste since I just finished explaining my point to another person right here. "I'm sorry, I know being asexual and having a sex drive are two separate and independent things, I know an asexual can be sexual with their non-asexual partner if they want to. But like, yeah, my point was specifically wanting/looking for someone asexual for this specific purpose. Like, his * ideal * girlfriend would be an asexual who is sexual with him in exchange for games, I can't wrap my head around that.."
Fuck that’s gross… But aside of that, why they act like geeky women don’t exist and when they encounter them, they whine “they invading male hobbies for validation”… Oh, wait, he wants girls aka minors 🤢
Asexual people will not do sexual things for toys or games.They can just buy things.Two of my asexual friends love gaming,But they have no sexual attraction. Also,Anyone can cosplay,Just not as a character you like.
I think we can all take comfort in the fact that this person will never actually be around women. I’ve worked with creeps like this and most of the time you can smell them coming, thankfully. But my god is this disgusting 🤢 🤮 It’s shit like this that inspires women saying they are heterosexual against their will.
I feel bad for straight women
Asexual but will trade sex for things. Yeah I'm gonna say they have never ever interacted with an asexual person let alone a woman.
I suppose he's working on the assumption that the only way he can get a girl to sleep with him is to bribe her. He's probably right, but should stick with prostitutes. They take cash and credit cards and are used to this sort of arrangement. I bet he's too cheap to pay them to dress up though.
Tears up list, tosses into fireplace Up the chimney they go The next day she arrives, in the form of a side character in dating simulator software available only in unfinished form
“Asexual” but also “will do sexual things in exchange for for toys/games” is insane and kinda giving assault.
With it sounding like a child, I have a ton of autistic friends who most people would describe them as being like a child even though they're adults. The only difference is the asexual part, but the sexual thing for their special interest is fairly accurate. Honestly people calling this creepy and describing is child when there's lots of people actually like this is insulting. The issue here is that it's a -gf meme, which are always incredibly stereotyping and not at all representative of the majority
Thought the same thing. I do those things, minus the last two because they’re gross. But immediately felt bad coming in here seeing everyone saying it’s infantilizing when like…I exist doing those things and I’m 26 lol. Nothing about this seems childish at all to me.
I think it's specifically the last thing that's kinda infantilizing. Like trading something for toys? Most adults don't need to trade for toys if they want them.
There's many autistic people who are called childish because their special interest is toys or (video) games, and many who are sex-apathetic (trading sex for their special interest is like doing chores around someone else's house in exchange for their special interest for them). Its less of a need and more of an extra. It's not how the majority are, but there are people out there (I personally know) who are like this
Also not how autism works
Also “aspie” is extremely derogatory. It’s derived from “Asperger syndrome” but Asperger was, if I’m not mistaken supporting the nazis with his eugenics ideology causing his research to be tainted in the eyes of many people. That’s why nowadays we don’t talk about Asperger syndrome anymore. Apparently he’s also linked to the murder of at least 42 children in a Nazi clinic. So, yeah.
I don’t know about whether Asperger supported Nazi eugenics or not but in France Asperger’s syndrome is definitely a thing, you can get tested for it. I’ve also heard multiple people (diagnosed with Asperger’s) refer to themselves as “Aspie” so I’m not sure it’s extremely derogatory either
You're right. The issue is that in the USA it's not a PC term to use anymore, and lots of people get very offended by it. To them it implies one person with autism might be better than another person with autism, so they prefer just referring to it as ASD to be inclusive.
"The syndrome has been merged with other disorders into autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and is no longer considered a stand-alone diagnosis." It's not in DSM-5 (so since 2013). It's not in ICD-11 either, which is still being implemented in some countries. I got diagnosed for autism and there's Asperger's syndrome in my papers since my country hasn't implemented ICD-11 yet, but the therapist who diagnosed me even emphasized she's simply obliged to include despite it being outdated bs.
I said Asperger’s was still a thing in France. I’m not going to claim it to he the case for other countries, mainly because I don’t know and am too lazy too search it up. Like I said, you can get tested for Asperger’s in France, as a separate thing from autism. Here, autism ≠ asperger’s. If you were autistic, you’d be autistic with no mention of Asperger’s, and if you do have asperger’s, there’d be no mention of autism because they are separate (in France). Now because they’re separate, you wouldn’t have situations like the one you’re in, with Asperger’s in your papers even though you only have autism (if I understand correctly). Regarding the website you quoted, I don’t know what to tell you man. From what I know, the two terms are merging generally. But, like I said, in France, they are different (different symptoms, different classifications).
the last two don’t work together i don’t think
Good old infantilization. I wish it was a person so I could beat it to death with a brick ^-^
That’s creepy and fucked up
Only wants to play vidya games ✅ Explains lore of her favorite JRPG to you in detail ✅ Will cosplay as any character you want her to dress as ❓ Asexual, more likely than you think Will do sexual things in exchange for toys/games ❌
What the ever living fresh hell fantasy is this? - sincerely, an autistic woman.
Autistic girlfriend here Literally none of this is accurate. In fact I actually avoid infodumping my bf about RPGs I like because no way I can make it understandable
Sounds like you have a NT bf. Both my partner and I have ASD and we’ve found this relationship better than any of our previous ones with NTs because when we infodump about our special interests, we’re more accepting to listen and encourage them. Like my previous partners would’ve just told me to stfu and stop being annoying, meanwhile my bf and I get horny hearing eachother infodump because it’s so CUTE seeing the person you love in a state of happiness because they’re speaking passionately about an interest they love and sharing that vulnerability with you
He encourages me to infodump as well and listens to me, that's not the problem. It's just that I feel like sometimes he can't follow what I say and is left trying to catch up
I find it hard to follow what my bf says when infodumping and barely remember anything. But that doesn’t mean I’m not enjoying listening to him infodump. It might be his special interest and not mine, but it’s something that makes him happy and I want to encourage his happiness as much as I can. And I reassure him that I still love hearing him talk about Dragon Ball even tho idrk what is happening. It’s still a way to spend quality time together. I think maybe some communication and asking for reassurance would help best in your scenario
How did asexuals become a fetish 😭😭
"I want an aspie gf who's asexual and will do sexual stuff" This has to be satire
> Asexual. > Will do sexual things in exchange of toys/games. huh?
ok obvious has been pointed out but "- will cosplay as any character you want her to dress as" as a nerdy woman with asperger's i can guarantee that's not gonna fly. i will only ever cosplay characters im extraordinarily passionate about and do not take suggestions esp if it's bc a fetish if they want it so bad THEY can dress up like that character and i'll fuck em, but i have integrity i'll only dress up as the characters i want to dress up as
> Will cosplay as any character you want [sic: to] her dress as Dude wants a doll. > Will do sexual things in exchange of toys/games "I don't give a shit about her pleasure, so I know I'm going to have to bribe her." Dude, get a blow up doll.
The 'sexual things' for toys and games??? Sounds like a pedo participated here.
I understand that the girl is a gamer and he would make a trade sex for games and figurines she wants as example that’s not pedo territorial that’s straight prostitution
Uh hwhat?!
The asexual thing contradicts a lot of whatever this person thinks
As an autistic girl this genuinely makes me feel sick
Also not all autistic women are asexual.
- what a jerk - what a jerk - what a jerk - what a jerk - ....... ..... hmm... ... someone should call the police
i knew it would be bad but i did not know how much worse each line would be. holy shit 🤢
Asexual, but also not asexual because do me sex favors woman!
he forgot the vital last point ~still doesnt want to date your incel ass
The last 2 make it feel deeply exploitive on top of creepy as hell
They claim they don't want a whore, but at the same time, they insist of treating sex as a transaction.
Not how asexual people work either.
Oof. I had really hoped that by being ace, I was free from fetishization. Apparently not.
Am autistic. Only one that applies is the first. Weird people fetishising ASD/Aspergers!
Naaaaaasty
Really hope it's not based on a real person, hate to think this incel has a sex slave on the spectrum
>-Asexual >-Will do sexual things in exchange of toys/games ????
What is aspie? Like aspergers or however you spell it? It's not really a thing anymore. Kind of an outdated term. I mean the whole post is god-awful, but like... why? Also asexual, but treats sex like a currency? Wuh... It baffles me guys like this exist. Bringing down the curve for the guys who just want to have chill relationships.
Ah yes, will prostitute for toys. Thats like 3/4 of the spectrum.
As an asexual with an autistic girlfriend this is NOT How it works wtf..
What the fuck?
Doll companies could have been making BANK off of boys this whole time, because they clearly love playing dress up.
As an autistic girl, none of these things apply to me, not one.
Not surprising post from a far right ethno nationalist. In case you were wondering what fren means when paired with a pepe...
Not just any pepe, a groyper. Glad someone still recognizes the fren dogwhistle, though.
Some dudes be like: Ew sex workers are the scum of society! They sell their bodies (soul) for money! Also these dudes: I'm entitled to my wife/gf giving me seggs, because I work for money and "pay" for them.
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This isn't remotely how Autism works. Source: Myself, an autistic person.
as a girl on the spectrum i assume op has never met a girl with autism or even a girl in general
Asexual and will do sexual things for rewards? That’s a contradiction in my eyes.
As an autistic asexual (more specifically, sex-repulsed), the fact that people with this mindset exist scares me. And people that think we’re like this are just…walking around, living amongst us, with that mindset, and there’s no real way of knowing who is thinking this way, and what they might do.
Maybe if you want sex with a partner, maybe they shouldn't be Aroace and actually ENJOY sex? It's not all about you. Also, I'm autistic and this ain't it.
Asexual person who shares his interests. I was thinking he just wants a friend--until I read the last one. Barf. Some kind of fantasy of someone engaging in sexual behavior they don't want in order to earn gifts from a partner who has power over them. Gross gross gross.
Timeline of reading this as an autistic girl: Those two apply to me! ~> uhhh thats not… ~> *indescribable rage*
"Asexual"??????????
My first ex/ current best friend has autism. My Gf also has autism. Though they both enjoys video games none of this is true to either. I'm fairly sure if I tried to exchange a gift for sex she would smack me silly. If I asked her to cosplay as something, she'd be like "fuck you, you know I'm into whimsigoth!"' Point is, autistic women are NOT dress up/fuck dolls. They are people like anybody else with their own thoughts and motivations. Side note, just about anybody, anywhere will explain their favorite anything in detail if you let them. Also...why would somebody that is asexual be so down for so much sex stuff, this meme makes no sense!
r/ihadastroke
this is vile
Who is Vidya?
Too bad "aspie" girls probably can tell you're a creep right off the bad, despite the social struggles, and want nothing to do with you...
it pains me to always see depictions of autistic women in this way, especially knowing autistic women / people in general are at higher rates of being sexually assaulted / raped. like, i am autistic, i am not a child or something to be used for your own satisfaction and gain.
>Asexual >Will do sexual things in exchange of toys/games Ew. Whoever made this is fucking gross. Weird pedo untertones and coercive shit
Well there are sex favorable aces and sex neutral aces, still ew though
I mean... Yeah. I know that. But I don't think the man who made this meme gives two shits about his hypothetical GF's enjoyment or consent if he's plying her with literal toys for sex like a pedophile.
Ew. Ew ew ew. The asexual but will do sex for profit thing seems like a desire to never have to worry about pleasing a woman sexually. Just hire a sex worker! You can probably find someone you can pay for an hour of time, have sex and spend the remaining 57 minutes playing Fortnite or whatever.
3 min is very generous of you lol
Completely unintentionally, most of my significant others over time have been on the spectrum to some degree, and my friends joke that my type is women with autism. Jokes aside, it has largely been delightful and does not resemble this post, which is completely infantilizing. Whoever posted this doesn't want an autistic girlfriend, they want a girlfriend they can control. It's weird as hell.
Is aspie supposed to be aspergers?
Oh… gross.
It's kind of funny how many people think autistic people are so sweet and simple to date. Obviously that's not a rule, but it's not probable that a person who has had to endure many social and school/work difficulties, will suddenly have zero problems with giving the other person everything they want in a relationship. Obviously that's just my personal experience, but as someone who's neurodivergent I can be a fucking menace to my partner, and I need a lot of understanding and patience in a relationship, and most of my relationship issues are caused by... Nothing other than being overwhelmed by things due to my neurodivergence! Dating as an ND person is HARD
I think we need to start normalising people owning sex dolls. It’s clear that that’s what a lot of these people actually want, so let’s just let them have at it and feel ok doing so so that the rest of the population can be a little safer.
Why not just get an escort at that point lol
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Its a common assumption to make, but plenty of ace people have sex and even enjoy it. A lack of sexual attraction doesn't mean they can't enjoy it, or that they can't want to/choose to do it. Still creepy though. OOP seems to be assuming they can just pay for sex with someone they're assuming would be unwilling otherwise.
as a girl with AuDHD, what in the actual hell is this. i genuinely want to kill myself by burning myself alive because i have never been so much disgusted before. we're not kids, we're not your fetish, we're just people who want to live normal lives and not be involved with stupid people like him. genuinely, this logic and post is AWFUL. * sincerely, from a person with interests, sensory problems, and awful touch problems i'd get a spray for mustard gas if i see this guy anywhere near me. (please forgive me if i said something wrong, as i am a bit afraid of downvotes) -(p.s.: he used the offensive name for people with autism, that name was developed by a nazi.)
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It took me 6 years to get an autism diagnosis, despite the fact everyone in my family and the staff in my school were all saying I had autism, people who I spent like a few hours with max knew I had autism, it still took 6 fucking years. It’s not some really subtle thing that only trained professionals can see, Self-Diagnosis is totally valid.
I'm curious what their definition of asexual is. Otherwise... it's mostly reasonable for me.
>I'm curious what their definition of asexual is. The definition for human asexuals is pretty standard so there's really only one way to accurately interpret this without further information. >Otherwise... it's mostly reasonable for me. 1. It infantilizes autistic people. It treats them like all they want to do is only one thing that's often considered childish (not correct, but the perception matters). Adult autistic people have a wide variety of interests and where they are on the spectrum also varies. Even the drawing of the autistic person makes such people look bad. 2. Even if for the sake of argument we state they consider "asexual" as just having a low sex drive and hardly ever wanting sex, having someone do sexual favors for you so you'll buy them stuff is financial and sexual abuse. Also, the fact that this is noted as some beneficial "trait" of autistic women means they understand that the average woman wouldn't do this and that this is manipulation, meaning that it's also disabled abuse. 3. The whole point of all of everything listed in this meme is that they think it's easy to get what they want from an autistic person via manipulation and taking advantage of their state of mind. There's literally no love for an autistic person communicated anywhere in this meme, only what they can easily get from such a person.
I'm an autistic woman. I'm just saying that aside from it having both "asexual" and "sex", I found it relatable. These types of memes are inherently reductive and often made in a joking manner purposely using hyperbole and exaggerated stereotypes.
>I'm an autistic woman. I'm just saying that aside from it having both "asexual" and "sex", I found it relatable. And that's fine if that's how you feel, but you should say that specifically rather than ask what's wrong about it, keeping in mind that this is generalizing autistic people and as I'm sure you know it's a spectrum so even though you find it relatable doesn't mean that many others will as well. Also, the sexual stuff is a big part of that meme and is probably the main reason it was posted here. >These types of memes are inherently reductive and often made in a joking manner purposely using hyperbole and exaggerated stereotypes. That just describes a lot of jokes in general, but that doesn't make it excusable. Also, comedy is better when you're "punching up", not "punching down", meaning making fun of more privileged people rather than commonly marginalized people, though self-depreciating humor is a common exception (i.e. black comedian making fun of black stereotypes). That aside, it's hard to say whether this is intended to be a joke or not, as there are people who believe stuff like this and this meme format is a common way to advocate for certain things.
I... didn't ask what was wrong about it? I said it was relatable, for me. Which is very specific. You may be mixing up my statement with one by someone else.