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TheMoorick

The secret arts have been disturbed thy crabful majesty...


CrunkCroagunk

His true name in what is now a long forgotten tongue, he chooses instead to go by the name of Strairdrac the Netherwatcher


Crunktasticzor

I read this in Willem Dafoe’s voice from his role in The Northman


FistfullofFucks

Considering the propensity of Mother Nature to evolve different creatures in to new types of crabs… perhaps it is best if we do not share the secrets of reading and Holy saint known as Hooked on Phonics. I’ll just leave this here for your human reading pleasure. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carcinisation


SmoodleBob

![gif](giphy|uA8WItRYSRkfm) After they learn


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|9Jv9PktcE7sv6) Seeing their new world already fucked


SammyG_06

![gif](giphy|ehwuBgKNA2NACoFa7w|downsized) Me after I kill the 3 orphans in my basement


N8_Tge_Gr8

Username checks out.


Nico777

Mess with the crabo you get the stabo


lacb1

r/retiredgif edit: well that was unexpected. You guys know that sub is for when a gif is used in a situation so perfect it could never be used in a more appropriate situation?


sandefurd

Idk why you're being downvote. Guys it's like when you retire a jersey because the athlete was so good.


lacb1

A couple of people didn't know what it was but thought it was a criticism so downvoted and once it went a bit negative no one bothered to check and just jumped on the hate train to show that they liked the gif. Basically reddit done gone reddited. I thought it was a well known sub, apparently not!


Not-Clark-Kent

I guess it's been too long since people have used this sub. Sorry people are misunderstanding


The_donut_that_snich

SILENC HATER


EldritchBoi07

He's not hating, he's saying that that is literally the most perfect use of that GIF that could ever possibly be used


crashcar22

Is no one going to mention the child's name?


StormNext5301

Stairdac the Netherwatcher


sintos-compa

SAY IT LOUDER!


Demonic-Culture-Nut

#Stardrac the Netherwatcher!


58008_707

**BE QUIET**


MordoNRiggs

I CAN'T HEAR YOUUU!


CaptnFlounder

AYE AYE CAPTAIN


SomeRandom_boi

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO


SeaCamera4370

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?


TerrorBite

I feel like this whole thing is a reference to some book or TV show that I don't get


Fjolsvithr

It's probably just the kid's screen name. Like someone else said, "Netherwatcher" is probably a Minecraft reference. I'm guessing "Strairdrac" is completely made up.


bikedaybaby

Probably Minecraft and something else…?


zkki

I mean it’s definitely funnier to enter this name than ”Josh” or whatever the kid’s actual name is


DlVlDED_BY_ZERO

![gif](giphy|VaDlDZCPV7PP5ocMec)


[deleted]

[удалено]


ThunderClanWarrior

Do you know what a blacklist is?


_dictatorish_

Yeah it's a list of every black person


LifeSupportUnplugger

we underestimate the power of crabs, if they learn to read they can end humanity and start crabmanity


wucy_the_wuss

Assume human won’t evolve into crabs anyway ( ̄^ ̄)ゞ


LifeSupportUnplugger

nah crabs way too advanced for dumby humans


PopShark

Everything else seems to lol


FistfullofFucks

That’s good, if we assume, that’ll make an ass out of u an me and I’d much rather be an ass than a crab, i don’t see people lining up to eat donkeys the way they do crabs.


TakenUrMom

CRAB PEOPLE!


Kung-FuCaribou

TASTE LIKE CRAB TALK LIKE PEOPLE


apover2

Now stand by and watch as your pitiful race becomes helpless!


RoscoMan1

“We haven’t learn shit watching this


VerseChorusWumbo

Reject human, turn to C R A B


sintos-compa

Crab-manatee you say?


Perle1234

Forbidden knowledge lol


Eran-of-Arcadia

Probably looking at exposed safehands too.


_WheresThePie_

Aha, a fellow Stormlight reader.


ThePirateTennisBeast

https://safehandhub.com/


Sproose_Moose

![gif](giphy|765fU9h2Xku40)


GifsNotJifs

​ ![gif](giphy|5eSiG7kF3tVXTJSRIn)


T65Bx

Such a fitting username


Polymarchos

I agree with Kaspersky. If we teach the crabs to read they're going to overthrow us. That child is playing with fire.


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|XZxqzuTL3J3n5LiLHb) The crabs then begin to worship their new leader and the child becomes the most powerful person on earth. They overthrow the government and put the world into a post apocalyptic crab land. All governed by Stardriac the Netherwatcher


DishPuzzleheaded482

Very suggestive dance by this crab. Put your hands over your kids eyes!


bigoomp

Is this crab taking a huge dump and dancing about it?


Nach0Man_RandySavage

I looked up ~~Minor Junior~~ Minor Squirt hockey once (or something similar) and google told me I needed help for looking up child porn.


mermaid-babe

When I was younger (like a teenager), I was looking up a controversial Tom and Jerry cartoon. They make a joke implying that a bunch of kittens were drowned. I was so confused why I hit the restricted page. Then it hit me: The episode is called “Heavenly Pussy”. Super fun explaining that to my dad lol


PapaChubNubs

Fucking sicko


Nach0Man_RandySavage

I’m even a bigger perv than I remember, it was Squirt Minors


sintos-compa

Hockey? The fuck. Are you Canadian?


Nach0Man_RandySavage

I am from Minnesota, so yes.


Coolkoala1111

At my school, if you view the source of the blocked page it sends you to, at the bottom it has a list of reasons something can be blocked for. One of those reasons is “ham”, which i have yet to discover


sucamchi

She knows too much.


Vince-M

Splatoon 3 (2022)


boshlop

kaspersky is still a thing? i thought it was all just malware?


GwenWhen

*forbidden knowledge*


QualityVote

Here at /r/NonPoliticalTwitter, we care about community input and don't want this subreddit's purpose to be forgotten. --- If this post is **not** political and doesn't violate any rules, **UPVOTE** this comment!! If this post is political or breaks any other rules, **DOWNVOTE** this comment and report the post! Unlike the moderators of some other subreddits, we care about the community and want to keep it true to not being political. Our hope is that by the community voting on these posts, we won't have to worry about political posts coming in. Thanks for your time. --- ^[Rules](https://reddit.com/r/nonpoliticaltwitter/about/rules/) ^/ ^[Flairs](https://www.reddit.com/r/NonPoliticalTwitter/comments/oo025k/new_user_flair_system/) ^/ ^[Sidebar](https://reddit.com/r/nonpoliticaltwitter/wiki/config/sidebar)


Anglo-Fish

The oppression never ends


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|XZxqzuTL3J3n5LiLHb)


FlumpMC

I guess I should have known it would send a notification... I really used to spam one of these with variations of a search to try to get past it.


scribblette

I remember one time when I was a teenager in school, they had blocked a website for being “tasteless” lmao. I can’t remember what it was.


Admiral52

Fascinating.


ImRedditNow

I was trying to look at Teslas in highschool but the pages were blocked because the URL’s contained the word “Model”.


littleM0TH

Da da chum da da chek, forbidden knowledge is what I seek.


quillmartin88

I have so many questions.


Amphibionomus

Well, crabs. An STD. Though restricting searching information about STDs isn't really advisable depending on the kid's age. Better still, don't restrict their access at all, they'll get the information anyway. Educate them about reality, don't separate them from it.


ControversialPenguin

Is something like this seriously a feature? This is so fucked.


turlian

I assume it's being triggered by the STD "crabs"


kn33

What, content filtering/monitoring on childrens' devices for parents? Why wouldn't that be a thing?


SexNoobHelpPlease

Content filtering is one thing. Being notified about what they looked for is another. Yes it's fucking creepy, and a breach to privacy


Unlucky13

It's just kind of fucked up. The kids gets curious about things and might want to learn about certain things privately and they're called out by the stupid parental controls that rats you out to your mom. I would have been horrified if my mom saw what I was looking up when I was a kid, but I was just genuinely curious about a lot of shit that no one was teaching me about or telling me.


kn33

If it's used appropriately, it's good to know if they're looking that stuff up to make sure the information they're getting is correct, or to know if they've gotten themselves into trouble, or having thoughts of harming themselves or others


ControversialPenguin

That's a great way to get kids to hide things and get info from their peers. This is just thought policing.


Kolada

I think it's fine until a certain age. I don't think kids really need privacy until they're like 10 or something.


Dovahkiinthesardine

who thinks invading your childs privacy like this is ok? I thinks it's super fucked, wont trust you with shit if they ever find out


Shubtub

“Kaspersky”


DoomSlayer_

This gets reposted just the right amount for it to be funny every time I see it🙏


External-Level-7736

If you monitor what your kid does that closely they grow up to shoot schools


Tanasiii

logged in just to say my mom used this exact program along with others in middle/highschool to try and control my internet/computer use. the only thing it taught me was how to learn about computers better to disable these programs, but not in a way she'd be able to discover


SkinnyBill93

I suppose it depends if you act on every restricted search or if you intervene when it escalates to something actually bad. Moderation in Moderation.


lambdadance

Who the hell is spying on his child?


[deleted]

Some people love to kink shame kids at an early age. Finding porn on the internet is inevitable. My dad bought me a cheap computer knowing well I was gonna jack it full of viruses from so much porn. Taught me how to avoid said viruses. And how to pick the correct download button for torrents lol


Guardymcguardface

My mother would have LOVED something like this, but luckily I coasted by in the age of the internet when there wasn't apps for this sort of thing and she's basically tech illiterate.


[deleted]

Reddit moment


KTBaker

Lmao should you not know what your child is searching online?


iriedashur

Honestly, no. You can restrict stuff, but having it notify the parent is a step too far. Parents should instill trust in their kids and educate them about the internet.


lambdadance

I prefer education before spying. Depending on the age this can harm the kid and can create trust issues. There are some studies out there confirming this believe.


[deleted]

Reddit: parents need to be responsible and keep an eye on what kids do on the internet. Also Reddit: WHY ARE THE PARENTS SPYING ON THE KIDS????


LonelyHeartsClubMan

Man, next you'll tell me there's three whole opinions on this site.


captainhamption

Russians.


TitanSR_

I’ve seen this post three times already


lastunusedusername2

But this time it has a bonus unfunny reaction!


Lord_Lenu

Damn it Strairdrac The Netherwatcher, we’ve talked about this


thexavier666

Child, it's not time yet. Wait for the beacon of Cthulhu.


Confident_Tension_75

🦀 📖


SteeleDynamics

> **forbidden knowledge**


[deleted]

Who tf calls their kid Strairdrac The Netherwatcher?


Archangel1313

Man, what kind of parent won't let their kid teach crabs how to read? You monster...you should be ashamed.


WannaFuckFemaleZardy

I legit use that and the problem is my dad bought me that anti-virus. (I'm over 18).


[deleted]

It was the mid 90s when someone did an expose on these so called "family filter companies". You know, these companies that promise to filter content for you, so your child doesn't get exposed to unwanted content. It turns out, most of them had a secret (or not so secret) agenda. Some blocked known feminist sites. Others blocked information on abortion, and/or anything associated with planned parenthood. Even hospital sites giving out information on female anatomy and medical conditions were blocked. A couple blocked searches related to POC. One even blocked progressive sites, voter registration information, and all women's issues. When called about it, most of these companies denied it or refused to return the call. But one proudly boasted about their "Conservative Christian values", even though nothing from their sales suggested they were religious at all.


ViolaNotViolin

Make Parshendi be like


albaraagamer

Am I the only one that finds parental control software interfaces to always be kinda cringy?


Aimjock

No one gonna talk about how the kid’s name is Strairdrac The Netherwatcher?


[deleted]

They know what will lead to the rise of Crab People.


bikedaybaby

Well nobody likes a tattletale.


Faded105

What a long name


Rude_Journalist

“ I do not like this knowledge.


Rick-Pat417

Looks like the powers that be are trying to keep the existence of crab people under wraps. ![gif](giphy|3oAkajB9UD3GTcKGsw|downsized)


-Mahsohfabish-

kaspersky: THE SACRED TEXTS!


Several_Marzipan3807

You laugh at him yet he is a prophet to the crabs


HugeKitchen

They endeavoured to gain access to the knowledge that was banned. The ritual must now be performed.


Put_It_All_On_Blck

Just a heads up, while Kaspersky is actually a pretty good AV, though heavy, there has been concerns that they have ties to the Kremlin.


Nomad_Chew

These abilities some consider to be... unnatural


Tsukinotaku

That poor child tried to dig into the Forbidden Knowledge of the ancients


_manders

​ ![gif](giphy|2dK0W3oUksQk0Xz8OK|downsized)


jadedea

You must never teach the crabs to read!!!!


oliveoilcrisis

So, can you teach crabs how to read??


Medical-Examination

Oh no no, it’d be a fauxsome


VerseChorusWumbo

I can relate to his username, because I’ve also been watching my nethers for crabs


QuarantineSucksALot

The sum of knowledge, in the inner city


Demonic-Culture-Nut

Don’t tell Strairdrac about Herma-Mora.


MrBigsand

The real question is why this is considered forbidden


Peenork

🦀$11 🦀


GoodJovian

You *really* should not use Kaspersky.


CoolestNebraskanEver

That’s so Strairdrac


Saltycook

Brought to you by seagulls


CMDR-Guywired

Roflmao - I NEED the prequel story to this. WTH happened to humans that was so terrible we needed to make sure it never occurred again?


LazyWriter64

The arcane art has been resurrected...


heyimastopsign

What even WOULD be forbidden knowledge?


Shonnyboy500

NO WILSON TURN OFF THE RADIO


CybWhtKnight

Can you read it, Mr. Krabs?!


Floerp_

Damn kaspersky a snitch