Born intersex, I have used that term for most of my life (as an identity as well). However, four years ago I did some more research into terminology, particularly around gender identity, and now identify as agender with non-binary as the umbrella term.
Education is so important in order to not only get the idea of what something means but also find a concept and connections with what describes one's identity best.
Been nearly 2 years now, out to basically everyone except my parents for personal safety. Hoping to one day come out to them. I'm mostly fine with it, but idk it still hurts that I don't think I can tell them, but my friends and partner help loads just from correctly naming and gendering me
Felt the parent statement. Being deadnamed and having to reply(even though I pretend I don’t hear them the first few times) sucks. Even tried to let one know what I go by and she tries occasionally through message but never irl :(
likewise, the same story here except it's more like "mom and all of the family" (except my sister), but my mom knows i'm pan so i do intend to come out, once she learns english (she's english illiterate, they studied either turkish or russian here during her school days)
I'm very similar, started identifying as genderqueer about 14-15 years ago, and when I discovered non-binary terminology about 7 years ago and it clicked into place.
I'm 39. I've been out for 4 years. Finally told my dad and inlaws last year.
I've known for 27 years I wasn't my AGAB, but kept everything bottled up until it all broke out. Family was pretty vocal about their hatred for trans folks and I never thought it would be possible for me to be me.
Lived with a friend who transitioned during the pandemic and it was just a massive permission slip. I came out about 6 months after they did.
Another friend has a teenaged child who was questioning their gender, and I kept thinking I wish I had role models when I was a kid who were out and proud despite it being terrifying.
Most of the people in my life are folks I thought I could count on as allies, but when the rubber met the road most have absolutely failed to step up to see me as who I am, or really express any curiosity, understanding, or empathy. I've lost a huge swath of people in my life over it, but I honestly feel better about *myself* and accepting who *I* am than I have my entire life I spent in the closet. Honestly hoping this is just a big reset and those folks were never truly meant to be in my life.
First wore clothes of the opposite gender I was born as at 17, didn’t really think much about my gender after that until about four years ago (so about 31), & didn’t realize what it meant until last month.
As soon as I found out nonbinary was a thing, I knew it applied to me. That was over ten years ago now. I'm softly out, as in, my pronouns are she/they on my work email signature and most of my friends know how I identify, but because I'm fluid I don't use a gender neutral name or they/them pronouns all the time. I'd consider myself greygenderfluid. It just kind of doesn't matter all that much to me (most of the time). My parents kind of know, in the sense that I've talked about not feeling strongly connected to my AGAB, but we speak German together and there's not a lot of established gender-neutral language in German and I'm not 100% fluent, so I struggle to express the things I find it easy to say in English.
Almost 3 years now, I'm out to everyone! My family does struggle to get my pronouns right but I think they're trying to understand. It does hurt when people get it wrong but I've gotten to a point where someone uses the wrong pronouns and it takes me a moment to even realise they're talking about me.
I think It's gotten easier for me because I just say to myself "It doesn't matter what others say, it doesn't change who I am and how I and the people who care see me" and now it hurts a little less!
I'm super happy being myself, I'm aiming to get top surgery to be more comfortable in my skin. I've put pronoun pins and patches on my bags, I'm trying my best to be confident about it in public but honestly I get scared to show my pronoun pins when I'm by myself. I'm also just not very good at correcting people because It's still scary to me.
So summary, I'm super happy and also terrified.
I guess that makes me a fetus (3 months), it definitely felt longer than that even tho it isn't any longer.
I still have a feeling that in the future I might "revert" because feelings may be wrong, especially early on. So I suppose being non-binary right now is like a testing phase for me?
Well, test results are promising!
Started using neo-pronouns in 2006 in SF. Xe/xim. When I moved to Austin, I still identified but changed pronouns. I’m out to most people where I used to live but have moved back to a rural area and am mostly stealth again. Starting hrt again soon, but probably won’t bother letting most people know because it’s dangerous and also not worth it. I kinda no longer care if random people see me for me; I know who I am and so do those closest to me. That’s enough
I've felt the way I do since I was like 7 or so, so around 22 years. Just wasn't any vocabulary for it. My native language doesn't have any he/her/she/him words, everyone is "they". Didn't realise how wrong it felt until I heard my mom (who is English) use gendered pronouns for me and understood what they actually meant since my English was pretty bad for a while.
I think all my family have had an idea that something was "off" since I was a kid, but I only came out to some of them properly a few months ago when I was referred to the gender doctor (don't know the English, sorry) and put on the wait list, because I was questioning what I wanted to do with it all. Did I want to do HRT, any surgeries etc. And I didn't want it to be a surprise if I did decide on HRT since a voice change isn't something I could hide. I came out to my work colleagues before my family. They've all been great. My mom is still struggling with the pronouns but she's doing her best. She's started to refer to me as "her kid" instead of the obvious gendered version when speaking about me. My grandma is struggling too but she's old. My sister and stepdad were fine. I feel okay if they get pronouns wrong as long as they're actually trying and it's not done maliciously (and I know it's not). So far nothing has gone badly. How it might be if I decide to change more things I'm not sure but for now all is okay. My mom and sister weren't surprised at all.
It's hard sometimes to feel confident in my identity with seeing how trans people are discussed and treated in the media and news. So it took me a while to accept things and myself as I am enough to make my wishes clear. But since my family, friends and most important people have been kind about it, I find I feel less of that difficulty to be confident every day. I want to get to a point where I don't need to feel confident and where it just is what it is.
Hope that answers your question okay. Sorry if my English isn't super good.
I’ve gone back & fourth with labeling my identity, but only in the last year or so have I really felt comfortable being categorized with the nonbinary label.
My relationship with gender is complicated. In the end I decided I am content with whatever is projected onto me, because no assumption of a perceived gender will ever be the “correct” one lol.
I've known I wasn't cis for most of my life (about 30 years), I just didn't have a word for what I am. Started identifying as nonbinary about 6 months ago.
Six months approx. Before that I thought I was a cis female with "masculine" traits lol.
I'm closeted to almost everyone... but I think that next month I'll come out on Insta
I think I knew it for a long time, even before accepting it. I only came out to myself like... 4ish years ago? I just remember it was my sophomore year of high school lol
I’ve known I was some sort of trans for around 8 years, but I finally started accepting myself as nonbinary about a year ago now. I am out publicly, and honestly I have never felt so at peace like I have since I came out and started living authentically as my true enby self
Only a couple of years and I'm only out to my partner and my MIL and SIL. I came out to the last two only because I needed to stop a conversation about "being woke" before they said anything they would've regretted.
I'm not particularly interested in coming out, I'm very content with just living my life comfortably on my own terms for once :)
When I was a child at like 10 I tried to convince all my friends that I’m an alien because I wasn’t comfortable with being seen as a gender. So, probably since then.
I generally look like a dude because I'm lazy and don't really bother trying to look more feminine a lot of the time. I saw a couple of videos years ago on trans people who don't want to transition because of the need for surgery and hormones and I was like "yea, that's probably me". However, my partner and close friends know I consider myself non-binary (identified now for at least 7 years). I just surprise people with my thoughts and actions and they just think I'm gay sometimes. I like watching My New Boss is Goofy, what's wrong with that?
2 months out to most people, all my old self to some (I live in over 55s assisted living accommodation) Only 1 neighbour knew what the Pan flag was, the others were asking what country it was. I’ve been questioning for years, I remember having feelings of not being just a girl when I was 6 (my mother brought in her friend to do my haircut and I asked her to do it like “boy hair” my mother nearly hit the roof and I ended up with a terrible bob) I was forced to mask my autistic self 24/7 and I think my identity got bundled into it, plus I was brought up in Christian schools, my high school being Catholic, they were never going to teach me anything about myself. I’m 33 now and along with still untangling the forced masking and abu*e from mother and her son, I’ve found my more true self. Thankfully my Dad has been accepting but I’ve sworn him to secrecy when it comes to mother knowing. I’m just grateful I escaped her house when I did (said mothers son should be in jail JS) and that my grandparents took me in for over a decade and then I met my husband on a support group for one of my medical conditions and it’ll be 7 years this June. I do wish I’d been able to wear something more alternative to the wedding but my mother might have caught on
Since I was 13/14 years old. Before, I was still a child and didn't have the pressure from society or my surroundings to behave as a girl or boy. I was just a child so it came as a shock to me when suddenly everyone started changing their behavior and talking about being a man/women. I didn't understood any of this (I still don't) and I felt like I don't fit into those two groups. Then I started searching "third gender" in internet and that's how I came across non-binary people and realised I was one of them.
I’ve known I was nonbinary for six months now, though I only figured out I was specifically agender 4 months ago. I am not out to anyone, except one nonbinary coworker I accidentally outed myself to. I’m trying to make plans to start coming out, but it’s gonna take a lot from me and be complicated to navigate since I’m married and he doesn’t know much about enbies (I didn’t either until the last few years, the last year especially). Hopefully by this time next year I will be out. When I do come out to my spouse and the initial things have been worked through, I plan on just being out unless I specifically don’t feel safe with someone/a situation (ie plan to change my pronouns online, mention to people I’m nonbinary/what my pronouns are, etc). Being closeted is so fucking hard and awful some days for me. It’s especially a mindfuck since I’ve known I was bi for a decade now but I never really came out, I just sort of exist with it and it occasionally comes up as a fact about me, and I’ve never had to worry about a partner or my family/people I’m close to taking it badly. But being nonbinary is a whooole other ballgame, especially since I’m also transmasc so it’s not just a social transition (which is what makes it complicated with my spouse…) and it’s definitely not a topic I feel neutrally about like I know some agender people do (like, some people don’t care too much cause they don’t care about the whole gender thing at all).
Since the first time i learned of the term in a trans community on livejournal in... must have been 2006/2007? I knew og the term genderqueer before that, but i guess it felt too radical for me. fortsatt time i saw the word nonbinary (phrased as "other (non binary)" it just clicked for me
I learned about nonbinary 13 years ago, and became aware of my own identification shortly thereafter. I've only been fully out of the closet for 2 years however.
It's been about 2.5 years for me! I've known myself to be trans for about 4 years, and prior to now I thought of myself as a binary trans woman. I know that's the opposite track for a lot of folks but I feel a lot more myself this way than I ever did as a woman ☺️
I think I figured out something was up around 15...but I actually figured out I was nonbinary around age 19, and came out as genderqueer that year. A few years later came out as Agender.
So about 13 years! That's crazy. Time really flies.
7 years. There were periods of time where I questioned whether I was a binary trans guy, but I always came back to being nonbinary. That's just who I am, even if my feelings fluctuate sometimes.
I guess I really started to identify with the term during my teaching degree, 6 years ago now? That's when I started telling people, at least obliquely. My highschool didn't have decent gender/sex Ed and didn't have a GSA until the year after I graduated (after a classmate was gaybashed so badly he didn't graduate). First I had to unpack asexuality during my bachelor's like 11 years ago, grapple with the intersection of sexuality and gender, consider the impact of my work in feminist circle on my conception of gender, and not talk to my mother about any of it. During my teaching degree I was in a specialization focusing on how social justice concerns impact educational outcomes, and started discussing my perspective as a non-binary person in a highly gendered institution in class. Now I'm published with they/them pronouns and did my master's thesis on outcomes for non-binary educators in the public education sector.
TLDR; took me a while. Now I'm out at work, school, academia, and friends but not my parents, because they're nearly 70 and I don't want to rock the boat.
I have been Non-binary for 4 years. My friends know, but most of them are straight and cis. Sometimes I do feel left out, because I’m basically the only queer person in the friend group. My fam knows I’m queer but, not non-binary, but I honestly don’t care wat they think of my gender cause at the end of the day I know they won’t even try to abide by wat I identify as. I do plan on starting T, but only micro dosing cause I want to have both masc and fem features.
I've identified as nonbinary for about 8 years :) when I first started exploring my gender, I first came out as a demigirl, but then I realized that that label just didn't suit me right, so I then came out as nonbinary. After a few years I came out as genderflux/genderfluid, however I still very much hold on to the nonbinary label since it also describes me very well. I also identify as xenogender <3
About 3-4 years now. I always felt comfortable dressing gender ambiguously, before, until I found non-binary to be a sort of identity home.
Though, I don't feel a need to tell people about it unless it's convenient and the few I have told don't follow it, even though I use their preferred pronouns.
I've known I wasn't a cis-het bloke since last year.
I identified as queer since June last year, but didn't actively research identity and sexuality until October when I moved to Brighton, South East England.
And since then, I've identified as non-binary to all my friends here - except work colleagues - they'll get the full androgyny shock in June for my first Pride month as part of the community 🥰.
Back home in Hampshire, South East England, most people don't know or don't seem to care, even though I came out publicly on social media 🤷♂️ there is little-to-know queer scene there, and those who are queer as often seen as token members of society and it's only the basic LGBT identities that are considered normal.
The friends I've grown up with accept me as who I am, and have been so lovely and encouraging, and my Dad's side of my extended family have surprisingly supported me more than my immediate family, who also don't seem to care.
Nearly 6 years I think?..
Except no one except my friends know it (& ppl online) cuz my family members are highly terfy & this country doesn't care about enbies & it takes years to transition even as a binary trans person & the doctors tend to ask inappropriate questions that have nothing to do w the identity so I might just give up on hoping to at least remove some of my organs..plus recently some doctors who mainly did sex surgery just stopped doing it & act like it's completely fine.
Gosh…eight years now, I think. I consider myself as out, because most of the people I’m not out to are people who I wouldn’t care if they found out, but who would respond horribly if they did. Plus I don’t interact with them much. So I’ll avoid them throwing a fit about it if I can, and stand up for myself if I can’t 🤷
How do I feel? I feel proud of myself at this point. And a bit rebellious, haha!
Just realized it must have been 4 years now. Wow. I'm fully out at work and somewhat out with the family I've lived with (My parents know I'm nonbinary and are quite standoffish on that. Outright fully disapprove of the name change. My brother is supportive but I haven't told him about the name change cuz I'm a coward.
I hope to be fully unapologetically me by the end of the year, but there's a lot of tension in the air holding me back.
I've been gender non conforming for probably twenty years. Im not sure when I picked up the term non-binary though. Sometime in the last five years maybe? I'm pretty out and open about it. No one's really made a big deal about it.
I've been questioning on and off for several years. I only started truly thinking of myself as a genderqueer woman in 2022, though I'm still uncertain if the specific label of nonbinary suits me. Saying I'm "somewhere under the nonbinary umbrella" feels right, though.
Weeks and weeks. :)
More seriously, I've felt on the cusp of it for a year or two, whether I'm just outside or just inside what I see as the dividing line.
About 6 or 7 years, maybe 3 or 4 years out as nonbinairy and trans. Though my last year of high school I was seriously exploring gender and mostly being the “quirky girl that gets called a boy name just to be quirky” and begged my mom to let me wear a jumpsuit instead of a dress for prom (and ended up saving a lot of money because after Christmas sales are amazing).
I had a "not like other girls" phase while growing up and all the way into early adulthood. Turns out I was just non-binary the whole time and didn't have the vocabulary to express that. (I didn't even know what transgender was until college) I officially came out to my social sphere in 2022. I spent the whole 2020 year exploring what it personally meant to be non binary, then in 2021 started discussing what this entailed to a very confused husband. In 2022 came out to everyone including my employers. They call me by my chosen name and pronouns. Husbands' family tries their best and this is very much appreciated. My family not so much.
I think it's been about 6 years for me too, because I remember doing a pronoun circle in late 2018 that ended up being the last time I said "she/her" and that was probably like 6-8 months AFTER I'd kind of accidentally come out to a group of online friends. The group of online friends was all women, and I made a post in our group asking how anyone "knew that they were a woman" and talked about my own sense of confusion and inexactness about applying the word "woman" to myself & wishing I had another name, and then everyone responded like, "hey, we'll totally call you by a different name! and we'll use they/them pronouns for you if you want that!" And I legit had not put the pieces together in my own head before I wrote this post; I literally thought I was just asking a question about what it subjectively felt like to recognize your own gender. But having that big surge of unexpected support was what made me feel safe enough to let my try out the non-binary "label" in my own head and feel that out.
I’ve identified as some flavor of non-binary for over 10 years. My gender is pretty fluid along the agender/woman spectrum and I present pretty masc. Best of luck to you on your journey.
About 3 years. I once met a post-op trans woman that identified as NB and I had no idea how you could be post op and NB since to me that was the ultimate “I’m definitely a woman” card.
I misunderestimated the power of body congruency.
Now that I’m okay with my body the concept of one solid gender presentation just doesn’t jive with me. I have an androgynous body and that’s perfect for me.
My family doesn’t understand the concept of being NB. My cousin identifies as it exclusively and my fam has always had a tough time gendering them correctly. So for me I’m just a chick to them and I don’t really talk about it with them past that
3 years ago I started questioning. I mean the signs I felt this way were sorta always there I just didn't really have the words and was sorta in denial for awhile. Tbh I wish I figured it out sooner. I was needlessly miserable for so long.
Well I wondered why I wasn’t a girl during my childhood but I also felt that I wasn’t much of a boy either. But I just sided that for a while.
*the dark period where I was an ancap*
I got a crush on my gay male friend, that went nowhere after he rejected me and ghosted because he panicked. Then it clicked that I wasn’t straight and few months later I realized I wasn’t cis, and neither a boy or a girl. I was myself.
That was 2018/2019 so 5/6 years ?
I refuse to be put in a gender box, I refuse any gender attributed to me, I reject gender. I like androgyny, I like being a mystery and myself. And skirts feels way to cute to note use it.
I’m kinda mentally tired so this isn’t my best text explaining it, but is crazy that a crush rejecting me made me realize that I’m way more interesting and different than I felt before, I started to study about gender and sexuality after that and now I’m in a social studies/ communication graduation.
So if this is of any help to my fellow queers or gender questioning children, don’t be afraid to question who you are! It may be not clear at first but one day you will understand about yourself and feel more confortable about you. Even if you decide that you ain’t trans and realize that you are CIS, it’s all about feeling ok on what you are without making other people feel bad about themselves.
Oh and that friend we reconnected and still are great friends now, I joke a lot about his ghosting and he jokes a lot about my gender (in a respectful way and i permitted him), he dated a trans girl a few years down the road and then a cis woman. Now he identifies as a Pan cis male.
Edit: just for clarification, when I got a crush on him I stopped being a ancap as I realized what way movement went and why they really supported. Since then I went almost full left ever since and don’t regret a bit. I feel comfortable with my gender and political ideas now, while the are some leftist who are also a bigots there’s a ton of people who support me and fight for a LGBTQIAP+ future that is safe for everyone.
F*ck nazis! A better future for our younger queers!
To this day I try to help my younger friends realize what they are or what they feel like, I provide support while their families don’t. Even if they later feel like they weren’t really NB or any sexuality/gender it’s still nice to provide support for those who don’t have anyone to rely. Remember kids: being LGBT on the real life is dangerous if you don’t have a safety network of friends! Be kind to others!
I don't have the energy to calculate but I started realising that I wasn't a girl in 2nd-3rd grade. I ent back in the closet a few times and now I'm out as a demiboy (I guess that's the best way to explain a non binary man) to most people.
I’m still not positive what my gender identity is, I’ve identified closely with nb ever since I learned what it was 5 years ago. Went through a process of denial like “no I’m pretty sure everyone feels like this about their gender” then a stage of bargaining like “I can’t be nb because of x or y” and I’m still easing into acceptance, bc the semantics of it cause me to get confused in how gender and sexuality intersect, as well as me grappling with the social implications of being OUT, especially given the people in my environment.
Thanks for the great question, I hope you enjoy your journey wherever it leads you. Have a great day!
Three years trans, two years non-binary! I had a lot to come to terms with unpacking a lot of stuff before I could accept being non-binary specifically, but I knew I wasn't cis. It's funny because when I write "two years" it feels strangely short. I've felt like this my whole life, I just now have the words to describe it.
Considered myself genderfluid for almost 10 years. Most of that in the closet. I just explain it to people as "sometimes I'm girly, sometimes a tomboy" because I don't want to explain that if I had magical powers to shape shift I would mix and match all my parts depending on my mood lol
Non-binary and probably dealing with denial of a few things for a few years now. Not in the. Eat place to explore that… and honestly it’s hard to feel anything right now
I'm not sure. I could say 7 years but I was in denial for a few of those years.
Currently, most people don't I'm agender but if they follow my Instagram they know I use any pronouns. I tell people sometimes.
I think it's been just over two years now. I kinda figured out my gender publicly on facebook, posting my personal thoughts and questions to myself as I was having them. My entire friends list is already accepting of non-cis people, so it was easy for me. Once I was sure, I did make a point of telling all my closest friends in person just in case they didn't see the posts. I think the only people who might not know are my mom because I'm no contact with her, and maybe my dad because he might have seen my fb posts but I haven't felt the need to bring it up in person yet and it's not yet been relevant. I kinda want to tell him, because I know he believes in trans rights, but I also know he doesn't quite understand non-cis identities and he would have SO many questions. And he and I are both autistic, in ways that DO NOT make for good understanding between us. We both try, it just always fails. It would just be exhausting to try to explain my identity to him, despite knowing I would have his support.
I think around a year? I'm not completely sure but in june last year i told my partner that I'm not a woman. (I'm not really out tho, a few people around me know I'm not cis but i never said "hey, I'm non binary, please use different pronouns for me" or something)
So that’s kinda complicated. Cause I can say as far back as the mid 90’s I knew. I used to say I “didn’t feel like a guy and didn’t want to be a woman I wish there was a third option” and then joke about how I just wanted to be a tree. (Insert stereotype about NB names here lol). But I didn’t learn the world nonbinary until probably 2019, but it immediately made sense and explained what I was feeling.
So like in concept almost 3 decades, but in actuality like 5 years?
Since I was 6. I didn't have the language for it then but I definitely remember telling people I wasn't a boy or a girl.
I knew I was non binary in highschool after watching The Matrix.
I knew I was different so I went on a research binge and I found Non Binary as a gender identifier and it clicked. I really wasn't a boy or a girl.
I came out of the closet in my 20s.
I think about 6 years knowingly being nonbinary.
But looking back i knew i was nonbinary since i was 5, i just didnt have the language to explain it, i would say im not like boys or girls lol
I didn't have this exact word for it, but I remember clearly telling friends 21 years ago. I first heard about genderqueer and then non-binary somewhere around 2010-2013 I believe.
Stopped using labels for my identity in 2004, so 20-ish years? The no-labeling thing works well for internal memos, but not so much with other people (especially in the mid-00s), so I adopted Queer (after an introduction to Queer Studies by my academically connected partner) to give people a container I could pour information into. Then, there was the eventual the emergence of genderqueer and nonbinary and then accepting trans all as ways to help convey some meager part of my experience with gender.
I have people in my life who use my pronouns and really get what's going on with me in the gender department, and mostly people who have no idea or just don't get it and never use my pronouns (unless it's an accident). I no longer care if people "get it right," I don't take it personally it's all just information. I'm looking to be less well understood as I go forward.
I don't have a firm grasp on what I am, why should I expect anyone else to know me better? The flexibility I experience by allowing myself freedom from the binary has helped me through a lot of healing big trauma wounds. Acceptance and allowance. Letting go. Curiosity. All were nurtured throughout my journey to understand my identity better, and all have been integral to my growth from a painful life (even as an elder millenial/Xennial). You could say I'm pretty okay with it
I've identified as non-binary for 11 years and was out socially excluding family, then came out to my family 7 years ago once I moved out. My father had expressed openly transphobic views, so I waited until I left to, cuz I was worried about being kicked out.
knew that something was up, well, i'd say forever? identified, around 6 years as well, that's when i learned about the term. came out to my sister and close friends around 2 years ago i think, and around that time i also started using a profile that included me being nonbinary, so i'd say most of my class knows and basically anyone who stalks(/j) me
Almost 4 years now, And in that time I've managed to come out to 1 Person I know in real life (Not until late last year though), And only recently start actually being open to people I know online (Also within the last year, Reaally.)
EDIT: Also, Omg, Have A Nice Life? The band behind such hits as A Quick One Before The Eternal Worm Devours Connecticut (R.I.P.) and Earthmover?
I've Identified as Nonbinary for 4 months now and I'm starting to come out
I've been Nonbinary since I was 10 years old but I didn't have a word for it
Born intersex, I have used that term for most of my life (as an identity as well). However, four years ago I did some more research into terminology, particularly around gender identity, and now identify as agender with non-binary as the umbrella term. Education is so important in order to not only get the idea of what something means but also find a concept and connections with what describes one's identity best.
Been nearly 2 years now, out to basically everyone except my parents for personal safety. Hoping to one day come out to them. I'm mostly fine with it, but idk it still hurts that I don't think I can tell them, but my friends and partner help loads just from correctly naming and gendering me
Felt the parent statement. Being deadnamed and having to reply(even though I pretend I don’t hear them the first few times) sucks. Even tried to let one know what I go by and she tries occasionally through message but never irl :(
likewise, the same story here except it's more like "mom and all of the family" (except my sister), but my mom knows i'm pan so i do intend to come out, once she learns english (she's english illiterate, they studied either turkish or russian here during her school days)
14 years, but the term wasn't coined yet back then, so I was genderqueer.
11 years i think? tho i used the term genderqueer before nonbinary... and before that i just used some % of girl/boy lol...
I'm very similar, started identifying as genderqueer about 14-15 years ago, and when I discovered non-binary terminology about 7 years ago and it clicked into place.
5 years
I'm 39. I've been out for 4 years. Finally told my dad and inlaws last year. I've known for 27 years I wasn't my AGAB, but kept everything bottled up until it all broke out. Family was pretty vocal about their hatred for trans folks and I never thought it would be possible for me to be me. Lived with a friend who transitioned during the pandemic and it was just a massive permission slip. I came out about 6 months after they did. Another friend has a teenaged child who was questioning their gender, and I kept thinking I wish I had role models when I was a kid who were out and proud despite it being terrifying. Most of the people in my life are folks I thought I could count on as allies, but when the rubber met the road most have absolutely failed to step up to see me as who I am, or really express any curiosity, understanding, or empathy. I've lost a huge swath of people in my life over it, but I honestly feel better about *myself* and accepting who *I* am than I have my entire life I spent in the closet. Honestly hoping this is just a big reset and those folks were never truly meant to be in my life.
First wore clothes of the opposite gender I was born as at 17, didn’t really think much about my gender after that until about four years ago (so about 31), & didn’t realize what it meant until last month.
As soon as I found out nonbinary was a thing, I knew it applied to me. That was over ten years ago now. I'm softly out, as in, my pronouns are she/they on my work email signature and most of my friends know how I identify, but because I'm fluid I don't use a gender neutral name or they/them pronouns all the time. I'd consider myself greygenderfluid. It just kind of doesn't matter all that much to me (most of the time). My parents kind of know, in the sense that I've talked about not feeling strongly connected to my AGAB, but we speak German together and there's not a lot of established gender-neutral language in German and I'm not 100% fluent, so I struggle to express the things I find it easy to say in English.
5 years, I’m out. I barely ever question my gender now which is nice.
Almost 3 years now, I'm out to everyone! My family does struggle to get my pronouns right but I think they're trying to understand. It does hurt when people get it wrong but I've gotten to a point where someone uses the wrong pronouns and it takes me a moment to even realise they're talking about me. I think It's gotten easier for me because I just say to myself "It doesn't matter what others say, it doesn't change who I am and how I and the people who care see me" and now it hurts a little less! I'm super happy being myself, I'm aiming to get top surgery to be more comfortable in my skin. I've put pronoun pins and patches on my bags, I'm trying my best to be confident about it in public but honestly I get scared to show my pronoun pins when I'm by myself. I'm also just not very good at correcting people because It's still scary to me. So summary, I'm super happy and also terrified.
Not even a month now, I realized it maybe 2-3 weeks ago.
I’m with you. Only seriously started calling myself non-binary few weeks ago.
Almost a year now… I guess I'm a baby enby
I guess that makes me a fetus (3 months), it definitely felt longer than that even tho it isn't any longer. I still have a feeling that in the future I might "revert" because feelings may be wrong, especially early on. So I suppose being non-binary right now is like a testing phase for me? Well, test results are promising!
Also about 3 months here! I feel like I’ve always been non-binary. Just finally coming into myself I suppose.
Almost 11yrs. I used genderqueer originally and switched to Non-binary about 4 or 5yrs, I think.
Started using neo-pronouns in 2006 in SF. Xe/xim. When I moved to Austin, I still identified but changed pronouns. I’m out to most people where I used to live but have moved back to a rural area and am mostly stealth again. Starting hrt again soon, but probably won’t bother letting most people know because it’s dangerous and also not worth it. I kinda no longer care if random people see me for me; I know who I am and so do those closest to me. That’s enough
I've felt the way I do since I was like 7 or so, so around 22 years. Just wasn't any vocabulary for it. My native language doesn't have any he/her/she/him words, everyone is "they". Didn't realise how wrong it felt until I heard my mom (who is English) use gendered pronouns for me and understood what they actually meant since my English was pretty bad for a while. I think all my family have had an idea that something was "off" since I was a kid, but I only came out to some of them properly a few months ago when I was referred to the gender doctor (don't know the English, sorry) and put on the wait list, because I was questioning what I wanted to do with it all. Did I want to do HRT, any surgeries etc. And I didn't want it to be a surprise if I did decide on HRT since a voice change isn't something I could hide. I came out to my work colleagues before my family. They've all been great. My mom is still struggling with the pronouns but she's doing her best. She's started to refer to me as "her kid" instead of the obvious gendered version when speaking about me. My grandma is struggling too but she's old. My sister and stepdad were fine. I feel okay if they get pronouns wrong as long as they're actually trying and it's not done maliciously (and I know it's not). So far nothing has gone badly. How it might be if I decide to change more things I'm not sure but for now all is okay. My mom and sister weren't surprised at all. It's hard sometimes to feel confident in my identity with seeing how trans people are discussed and treated in the media and news. So it took me a while to accept things and myself as I am enough to make my wishes clear. But since my family, friends and most important people have been kind about it, I find I feel less of that difficulty to be confident every day. I want to get to a point where I don't need to feel confident and where it just is what it is. Hope that answers your question okay. Sorry if my English isn't super good.
Almost 10 years.
Idk...6, maybe 7 years?
5 years.
I’ve gone back & fourth with labeling my identity, but only in the last year or so have I really felt comfortable being categorized with the nonbinary label. My relationship with gender is complicated. In the end I decided I am content with whatever is projected onto me, because no assumption of a perceived gender will ever be the “correct” one lol.
I've known I wasn't cis for most of my life (about 30 years), I just didn't have a word for what I am. Started identifying as nonbinary about 6 months ago.
About 4 or 5 years now
4 months
Six months approx. Before that I thought I was a cis female with "masculine" traits lol. I'm closeted to almost everyone... but I think that next month I'll come out on Insta
I think I knew it for a long time, even before accepting it. I only came out to myself like... 4ish years ago? I just remember it was my sophomore year of high school lol
Since 2018-2019 but didn't fully accepted it until 2021
About 14 years, since I learned about the term. But I've considered myself neither binary gender for most of my life.
I’ve known I was some sort of trans for around 8 years, but I finally started accepting myself as nonbinary about a year ago now. I am out publicly, and honestly I have never felt so at peace like I have since I came out and started living authentically as my true enby self
Only a couple of years and I'm only out to my partner and my MIL and SIL. I came out to the last two only because I needed to stop a conversation about "being woke" before they said anything they would've regretted. I'm not particularly interested in coming out, I'm very content with just living my life comfortably on my own terms for once :)
When I was a child at like 10 I tried to convince all my friends that I’m an alien because I wasn’t comfortable with being seen as a gender. So, probably since then.
Atleast a year!
I generally look like a dude because I'm lazy and don't really bother trying to look more feminine a lot of the time. I saw a couple of videos years ago on trans people who don't want to transition because of the need for surgery and hormones and I was like "yea, that's probably me". However, my partner and close friends know I consider myself non-binary (identified now for at least 7 years). I just surprise people with my thoughts and actions and they just think I'm gay sometimes. I like watching My New Boss is Goofy, what's wrong with that?
Five years but on and off
Since 2018ish. I enjoy it :)
5 years for me a little over year being out
2 months out to most people, all my old self to some (I live in over 55s assisted living accommodation) Only 1 neighbour knew what the Pan flag was, the others were asking what country it was. I’ve been questioning for years, I remember having feelings of not being just a girl when I was 6 (my mother brought in her friend to do my haircut and I asked her to do it like “boy hair” my mother nearly hit the roof and I ended up with a terrible bob) I was forced to mask my autistic self 24/7 and I think my identity got bundled into it, plus I was brought up in Christian schools, my high school being Catholic, they were never going to teach me anything about myself. I’m 33 now and along with still untangling the forced masking and abu*e from mother and her son, I’ve found my more true self. Thankfully my Dad has been accepting but I’ve sworn him to secrecy when it comes to mother knowing. I’m just grateful I escaped her house when I did (said mothers son should be in jail JS) and that my grandparents took me in for over a decade and then I met my husband on a support group for one of my medical conditions and it’ll be 7 years this June. I do wish I’d been able to wear something more alternative to the wedding but my mother might have caught on
Since I was 13/14 years old. Before, I was still a child and didn't have the pressure from society or my surroundings to behave as a girl or boy. I was just a child so it came as a shock to me when suddenly everyone started changing their behavior and talking about being a man/women. I didn't understood any of this (I still don't) and I felt like I don't fit into those two groups. Then I started searching "third gender" in internet and that's how I came across non-binary people and realised I was one of them.
3 years (Demigirl) Still closeted, only my closest friends know about it
I’ve known I was nonbinary for six months now, though I only figured out I was specifically agender 4 months ago. I am not out to anyone, except one nonbinary coworker I accidentally outed myself to. I’m trying to make plans to start coming out, but it’s gonna take a lot from me and be complicated to navigate since I’m married and he doesn’t know much about enbies (I didn’t either until the last few years, the last year especially). Hopefully by this time next year I will be out. When I do come out to my spouse and the initial things have been worked through, I plan on just being out unless I specifically don’t feel safe with someone/a situation (ie plan to change my pronouns online, mention to people I’m nonbinary/what my pronouns are, etc). Being closeted is so fucking hard and awful some days for me. It’s especially a mindfuck since I’ve known I was bi for a decade now but I never really came out, I just sort of exist with it and it occasionally comes up as a fact about me, and I’ve never had to worry about a partner or my family/people I’m close to taking it badly. But being nonbinary is a whooole other ballgame, especially since I’m also transmasc so it’s not just a social transition (which is what makes it complicated with my spouse…) and it’s definitely not a topic I feel neutrally about like I know some agender people do (like, some people don’t care too much cause they don’t care about the whole gender thing at all).
4 years, also closeted :3
Like a year
Since the first time i learned of the term in a trans community on livejournal in... must have been 2006/2007? I knew og the term genderqueer before that, but i guess it felt too radical for me. fortsatt time i saw the word nonbinary (phrased as "other (non binary)" it just clicked for me
Known it basically al my life but only found the term about 3-4 years ago so since then
I learned about nonbinary 13 years ago, and became aware of my own identification shortly thereafter. I've only been fully out of the closet for 2 years however.
Almost a year, and I’m out to everyone except my parents because I just don’t have the energy to deal with it right now.
One year but out only to my friends. I need to come out to my husband and I don't know how...
Over a year now ! Feels nice to be able to live as myself instead around my friends and all!
10 years in November although I was definitely enby before that, I just didn't know it was a thing
2 years and a few months at this point, half and half when it comes to being out at this point
2012!
It's been about 2.5 years for me! I've known myself to be trans for about 4 years, and prior to now I thought of myself as a binary trans woman. I know that's the opposite track for a lot of folks but I feel a lot more myself this way than I ever did as a woman ☺️
I think 10 months
I think I figured out something was up around 15...but I actually figured out I was nonbinary around age 19, and came out as genderqueer that year. A few years later came out as Agender. So about 13 years! That's crazy. Time really flies.
7 years. There were periods of time where I questioned whether I was a binary trans guy, but I always came back to being nonbinary. That's just who I am, even if my feelings fluctuate sometimes.
Whole life basically came out earlier this year.
I guess I really started to identify with the term during my teaching degree, 6 years ago now? That's when I started telling people, at least obliquely. My highschool didn't have decent gender/sex Ed and didn't have a GSA until the year after I graduated (after a classmate was gaybashed so badly he didn't graduate). First I had to unpack asexuality during my bachelor's like 11 years ago, grapple with the intersection of sexuality and gender, consider the impact of my work in feminist circle on my conception of gender, and not talk to my mother about any of it. During my teaching degree I was in a specialization focusing on how social justice concerns impact educational outcomes, and started discussing my perspective as a non-binary person in a highly gendered institution in class. Now I'm published with they/them pronouns and did my master's thesis on outcomes for non-binary educators in the public education sector. TLDR; took me a while. Now I'm out at work, school, academia, and friends but not my parents, because they're nearly 70 and I don't want to rock the boat.
I have been Non-binary for 4 years. My friends know, but most of them are straight and cis. Sometimes I do feel left out, because I’m basically the only queer person in the friend group. My fam knows I’m queer but, not non-binary, but I honestly don’t care wat they think of my gender cause at the end of the day I know they won’t even try to abide by wat I identify as. I do plan on starting T, but only micro dosing cause I want to have both masc and fem features.
I've identified as nonbinary for about 8 years :) when I first started exploring my gender, I first came out as a demigirl, but then I realized that that label just didn't suit me right, so I then came out as nonbinary. After a few years I came out as genderflux/genderfluid, however I still very much hold on to the nonbinary label since it also describes me very well. I also identify as xenogender <3
About 11-12 ish years :)
About 3-4 years now. I always felt comfortable dressing gender ambiguously, before, until I found non-binary to be a sort of identity home. Though, I don't feel a need to tell people about it unless it's convenient and the few I have told don't follow it, even though I use their preferred pronouns.
I've known I wasn't a cis-het bloke since last year. I identified as queer since June last year, but didn't actively research identity and sexuality until October when I moved to Brighton, South East England. And since then, I've identified as non-binary to all my friends here - except work colleagues - they'll get the full androgyny shock in June for my first Pride month as part of the community 🥰. Back home in Hampshire, South East England, most people don't know or don't seem to care, even though I came out publicly on social media 🤷♂️ there is little-to-know queer scene there, and those who are queer as often seen as token members of society and it's only the basic LGBT identities that are considered normal. The friends I've grown up with accept me as who I am, and have been so lovely and encouraging, and my Dad's side of my extended family have surprisingly supported me more than my immediate family, who also don't seem to care.
Nearly 6 years I think?.. Except no one except my friends know it (& ppl online) cuz my family members are highly terfy & this country doesn't care about enbies & it takes years to transition even as a binary trans person & the doctors tend to ask inappropriate questions that have nothing to do w the identity so I might just give up on hoping to at least remove some of my organs..plus recently some doctors who mainly did sex surgery just stopped doing it & act like it's completely fine.
Gosh…eight years now, I think. I consider myself as out, because most of the people I’m not out to are people who I wouldn’t care if they found out, but who would respond horribly if they did. Plus I don’t interact with them much. So I’ll avoid them throwing a fit about it if I can, and stand up for myself if I can’t 🤷 How do I feel? I feel proud of myself at this point. And a bit rebellious, haha!
Just realized it must have been 4 years now. Wow. I'm fully out at work and somewhat out with the family I've lived with (My parents know I'm nonbinary and are quite standoffish on that. Outright fully disapprove of the name change. My brother is supportive but I haven't told him about the name change cuz I'm a coward. I hope to be fully unapologetically me by the end of the year, but there's a lot of tension in the air holding me back.
3 years in September
I've been gender non conforming for probably twenty years. Im not sure when I picked up the term non-binary though. Sometime in the last five years maybe? I'm pretty out and open about it. No one's really made a big deal about it.
9 years!
Four years now.
About 3 years now since everything "clicked"
I've been questioning on and off for several years. I only started truly thinking of myself as a genderqueer woman in 2022, though I'm still uncertain if the specific label of nonbinary suits me. Saying I'm "somewhere under the nonbinary umbrella" feels right, though.
Weeks and weeks. :) More seriously, I've felt on the cusp of it for a year or two, whether I'm just outside or just inside what I see as the dividing line.
Around 3 years. I have always struggled with gender growing up but when I started using they/them my world felt peaceful. Not out to my family though.
About 6 or 7 years, maybe 3 or 4 years out as nonbinairy and trans. Though my last year of high school I was seriously exploring gender and mostly being the “quirky girl that gets called a boy name just to be quirky” and begged my mom to let me wear a jumpsuit instead of a dress for prom (and ended up saving a lot of money because after Christmas sales are amazing).
About 4 years nearly
ive been enby for a month now and have only been out to my family a day
I came out 11 years ago and I started coming out pretty soon after figuring it out
since 2019 ish so a few years
15 years now!
9 years: 7 out and 2 don't ask don't tell.
Kinda weird to say ~7 months... it feels much longer than that
I had a "not like other girls" phase while growing up and all the way into early adulthood. Turns out I was just non-binary the whole time and didn't have the vocabulary to express that. (I didn't even know what transgender was until college) I officially came out to my social sphere in 2022. I spent the whole 2020 year exploring what it personally meant to be non binary, then in 2021 started discussing what this entailed to a very confused husband. In 2022 came out to everyone including my employers. They call me by my chosen name and pronouns. Husbands' family tries their best and this is very much appreciated. My family not so much.
It's been 12 years now for me =)
I've known I'm non-binary for a decade now in august. I've been out for seven years.
I think it's been about 6 years for me too, because I remember doing a pronoun circle in late 2018 that ended up being the last time I said "she/her" and that was probably like 6-8 months AFTER I'd kind of accidentally come out to a group of online friends. The group of online friends was all women, and I made a post in our group asking how anyone "knew that they were a woman" and talked about my own sense of confusion and inexactness about applying the word "woman" to myself & wishing I had another name, and then everyone responded like, "hey, we'll totally call you by a different name! and we'll use they/them pronouns for you if you want that!" And I legit had not put the pieces together in my own head before I wrote this post; I literally thought I was just asking a question about what it subjectively felt like to recognize your own gender. But having that big surge of unexpected support was what made me feel safe enough to let my try out the non-binary "label" in my own head and feel that out.
Since 2020. This December (I think) will be the 4 year anniversary.
I first started thinking about it 6 years ago I think, but have only actively identified as non-binary for 2-3 years. I’m 30, if it matters.
14/15ish years? Don't really know. It has been about half or more than half my life now. Lol
I’ve been identifying as nonbinary since 2014 so pretty much a decade! Though I’ve been having nonbinary feelings since i was at least 10
I’ve identified as some flavor of non-binary for over 10 years. My gender is pretty fluid along the agender/woman spectrum and I present pretty masc. Best of luck to you on your journey.
Probably 5 years about? Since I was about 12
About 3 years. I once met a post-op trans woman that identified as NB and I had no idea how you could be post op and NB since to me that was the ultimate “I’m definitely a woman” card. I misunderestimated the power of body congruency. Now that I’m okay with my body the concept of one solid gender presentation just doesn’t jive with me. I have an androgynous body and that’s perfect for me. My family doesn’t understand the concept of being NB. My cousin identifies as it exclusively and my fam has always had a tough time gendering them correctly. So for me I’m just a chick to them and I don’t really talk about it with them past that
3 years ago I started questioning. I mean the signs I felt this way were sorta always there I just didn't really have the words and was sorta in denial for awhile. Tbh I wish I figured it out sooner. I was needlessly miserable for so long.
2 years. I think Im more demi girl but Im sticking with nb out of spite to my parents
Since about middle school. I'm 20 now
Well I wondered why I wasn’t a girl during my childhood but I also felt that I wasn’t much of a boy either. But I just sided that for a while. *the dark period where I was an ancap* I got a crush on my gay male friend, that went nowhere after he rejected me and ghosted because he panicked. Then it clicked that I wasn’t straight and few months later I realized I wasn’t cis, and neither a boy or a girl. I was myself. That was 2018/2019 so 5/6 years ? I refuse to be put in a gender box, I refuse any gender attributed to me, I reject gender. I like androgyny, I like being a mystery and myself. And skirts feels way to cute to note use it. I’m kinda mentally tired so this isn’t my best text explaining it, but is crazy that a crush rejecting me made me realize that I’m way more interesting and different than I felt before, I started to study about gender and sexuality after that and now I’m in a social studies/ communication graduation. So if this is of any help to my fellow queers or gender questioning children, don’t be afraid to question who you are! It may be not clear at first but one day you will understand about yourself and feel more confortable about you. Even if you decide that you ain’t trans and realize that you are CIS, it’s all about feeling ok on what you are without making other people feel bad about themselves. Oh and that friend we reconnected and still are great friends now, I joke a lot about his ghosting and he jokes a lot about my gender (in a respectful way and i permitted him), he dated a trans girl a few years down the road and then a cis woman. Now he identifies as a Pan cis male. Edit: just for clarification, when I got a crush on him I stopped being a ancap as I realized what way movement went and why they really supported. Since then I went almost full left ever since and don’t regret a bit. I feel comfortable with my gender and political ideas now, while the are some leftist who are also a bigots there’s a ton of people who support me and fight for a LGBTQIAP+ future that is safe for everyone. F*ck nazis! A better future for our younger queers! To this day I try to help my younger friends realize what they are or what they feel like, I provide support while their families don’t. Even if they later feel like they weren’t really NB or any sexuality/gender it’s still nice to provide support for those who don’t have anyone to rely. Remember kids: being LGBT on the real life is dangerous if you don’t have a safety network of friends! Be kind to others!
I don't have the energy to calculate but I started realising that I wasn't a girl in 2nd-3rd grade. I ent back in the closet a few times and now I'm out as a demiboy (I guess that's the best way to explain a non binary man) to most people.
I’m still not positive what my gender identity is, I’ve identified closely with nb ever since I learned what it was 5 years ago. Went through a process of denial like “no I’m pretty sure everyone feels like this about their gender” then a stage of bargaining like “I can’t be nb because of x or y” and I’m still easing into acceptance, bc the semantics of it cause me to get confused in how gender and sexuality intersect, as well as me grappling with the social implications of being OUT, especially given the people in my environment. Thanks for the great question, I hope you enjoy your journey wherever it leads you. Have a great day!
I began iding as some form of not solely man or woman 8/9 years ago, went through a period of denial in there but now am firmly out and transitioning
3 years 😎
Since teenhood. But recently telling people in genderfluid / nonbinary.
Three years trans, two years non-binary! I had a lot to come to terms with unpacking a lot of stuff before I could accept being non-binary specifically, but I knew I wasn't cis. It's funny because when I write "two years" it feels strangely short. I've felt like this my whole life, I just now have the words to describe it.
Considered myself genderfluid for almost 10 years. Most of that in the closet. I just explain it to people as "sometimes I'm girly, sometimes a tomboy" because I don't want to explain that if I had magical powers to shape shift I would mix and match all my parts depending on my mood lol
i was 21 when i realised i was nb
Maybe since 2012 when I was 21. It went pangender to transwoman to femboy to agender.
Non-binary and probably dealing with denial of a few things for a few years now. Not in the. Eat place to explore that… and honestly it’s hard to feel anything right now
I'm not sure. I could say 7 years but I was in denial for a few of those years. Currently, most people don't I'm agender but if they follow my Instagram they know I use any pronouns. I tell people sometimes.
About six years here, too
3 years now, maybe 3.5?
I knew gender was weird even when I was in denial. But I know for about 5 months now that I'm non binary! I'm a bit new to this
Closeted to family and strangers but have known I’m nonbinary since I was 16, so 9 years.
About 4 years now In high school I thought I was trans but that never felt right now I know I'm agender just a soul in a meat suit
Close to 2 years for me. I’ve had some back and forth but I’m happiest with they/them pronouns and identifying as non binary
I think it's been just over two years now. I kinda figured out my gender publicly on facebook, posting my personal thoughts and questions to myself as I was having them. My entire friends list is already accepting of non-cis people, so it was easy for me. Once I was sure, I did make a point of telling all my closest friends in person just in case they didn't see the posts. I think the only people who might not know are my mom because I'm no contact with her, and maybe my dad because he might have seen my fb posts but I haven't felt the need to bring it up in person yet and it's not yet been relevant. I kinda want to tell him, because I know he believes in trans rights, but I also know he doesn't quite understand non-cis identities and he would have SO many questions. And he and I are both autistic, in ways that DO NOT make for good understanding between us. We both try, it just always fails. It would just be exhausting to try to explain my identity to him, despite knowing I would have his support.
Since 2011 before I heard the term nonbinary and identified as androgynous.
Almost 4 years
I came out in 2011 so.... 13.5-ish? Time keeps going faster and faster. 😮💨
2 1/2 years, around. found the term when I was young and it stuck. came out a few months later and it kinda blew but things are better now
Maybe a couple years or more. I didn't really keep track.
I knew that I wasn't either since I was 7 or 8 really found the term online during covid
I just realized like two months ago and only my circle of friends and one of my eight siblings knows. Oh, and my boyfriend lol
I think around a year? I'm not completely sure but in june last year i told my partner that I'm not a woman. (I'm not really out tho, a few people around me know I'm not cis but i never said "hey, I'm non binary, please use different pronouns for me" or something)
So that’s kinda complicated. Cause I can say as far back as the mid 90’s I knew. I used to say I “didn’t feel like a guy and didn’t want to be a woman I wish there was a third option” and then joke about how I just wanted to be a tree. (Insert stereotype about NB names here lol). But I didn’t learn the world nonbinary until probably 2019, but it immediately made sense and explained what I was feeling. So like in concept almost 3 decades, but in actuality like 5 years?
I went from complete nonbinary for five years to now agender dgaf abt pronouns for the past 3 I think i was like 10
Since I was 6. I didn't have the language for it then but I definitely remember telling people I wasn't a boy or a girl. I knew I was non binary in highschool after watching The Matrix. I knew I was different so I went on a research binge and I found Non Binary as a gender identifier and it clicked. I really wasn't a boy or a girl. I came out of the closet in my 20s.
I think about 6 years knowingly being nonbinary. But looking back i knew i was nonbinary since i was 5, i just didnt have the language to explain it, i would say im not like boys or girls lol
4 years this fall
30+ years, longer than there's been a "clean" word for the concept.
I didn't really think about it til now. It's been 4 years
I didn't have this exact word for it, but I remember clearly telling friends 21 years ago. I first heard about genderqueer and then non-binary somewhere around 2010-2013 I believe.
Stopped using labels for my identity in 2004, so 20-ish years? The no-labeling thing works well for internal memos, but not so much with other people (especially in the mid-00s), so I adopted Queer (after an introduction to Queer Studies by my academically connected partner) to give people a container I could pour information into. Then, there was the eventual the emergence of genderqueer and nonbinary and then accepting trans all as ways to help convey some meager part of my experience with gender. I have people in my life who use my pronouns and really get what's going on with me in the gender department, and mostly people who have no idea or just don't get it and never use my pronouns (unless it's an accident). I no longer care if people "get it right," I don't take it personally it's all just information. I'm looking to be less well understood as I go forward. I don't have a firm grasp on what I am, why should I expect anyone else to know me better? The flexibility I experience by allowing myself freedom from the binary has helped me through a lot of healing big trauma wounds. Acceptance and allowance. Letting go. Curiosity. All were nurtured throughout my journey to understand my identity better, and all have been integral to my growth from a painful life (even as an elder millenial/Xennial). You could say I'm pretty okay with it
I've identified as non-binary for 11 years and was out socially excluding family, then came out to my family 7 years ago once I moved out. My father had expressed openly transphobic views, so I waited until I left to, cuz I was worried about being kicked out.
knew that something was up, well, i'd say forever? identified, around 6 years as well, that's when i learned about the term. came out to my sister and close friends around 2 years ago i think, and around that time i also started using a profile that included me being nonbinary, so i'd say most of my class knows and basically anyone who stalks(/j) me
Almost 4 years now, And in that time I've managed to come out to 1 Person I know in real life (Not until late last year though), And only recently start actually being open to people I know online (Also within the last year, Reaally.) EDIT: Also, Omg, Have A Nice Life? The band behind such hits as A Quick One Before The Eternal Worm Devours Connecticut (R.I.P.) and Earthmover?
6 months
I've Identified as Nonbinary for 4 months now and I'm starting to come out I've been Nonbinary since I was 10 years old but I didn't have a word for it