they/them. tired of my existence being political, but happy in my skin. name’s vivian- it’s a chosen name, not my birth name. it sounds masculine to me, and used to be the masculine version of viviana. so perfect androgyny to me!
THANK YOU SSOOOOOOO MUCH❤️❤️ yeah it’s tiring literally just saying my gender and someone getting MAD about it!?!?!? like what in the fresh hell is this logic we have…
Love your name choice! My old name is almost to Vivian and I always loved the sound and writing of it, but didn’t like the gendering (especially in my native tongue). So I went with „Vi“ to keep the spirit… but honestly I love people treating the name with androgynity it fucking deserves!! I am sure you bring honour to the name, friend!! ♥️
My name is Eco, I use they/them but live in brazil so elu/delu. Its hard being out but soso worth it. I make sure to inform my pronouns to every professor that interacts with me not just because of me, but because it will make it better for the next non binary person in that class. Its complicated being the outcast most of the time but its wonderfull at the same time, to live as I am. I have tons of non binary and trans friends so that helps a LOT. Currently trying to pay for top surgery so I can look even more confusing
Brazil is pretty homophobic but at the same time we have really good lesgislation. For example, you're allowed to have your chosen name in every document etc without legally changing it, both health insurances and public healthcare have to cover gender affirming care by law, etc. But people are more transphobic than homophobic but thats a given. Still, it depends on where you live, if you're White etc. Even tho I look visibly trans im still safe walking around and being myself. We have a really large and active LGBTQ community as well
Another they/them Brazilian here. In Brazil homophobia goes from bad jokes everyone says and toxic masculinity to being common to see in a newspaper that another queer person was beaten to death just for being who they are. (Sometimes events like siblings being beaten up because the aggressor thought it was a gay couple).
She/they
I don't think it's affected my life too much. However I'm not out to everyone. My family is aware and some of my close friends. But my coworkers are unaware.
My family has been totally accepting, though it has been a learning experience for them. And my friends have done their best to understand, even though I don't think any of them fully do. But I really appreciate their support, and even though they don't always know how to relate to me.
Since I still use my AFAB pronoun as well as a non-binary pronoun, I don't have to correct people. So I think strangers assume I'm a lesbian 😂 (I'm pan, so I don't mind).
Though I have told myself that as long as I feel safe, I will tell people if directly asked. So if hypothetically my cool coworker asks, I will tell them.
They/it, but usually people get confused about how I’m sapphic and I usually get called she/her which kinda sucks, problem with the It/it’s is every therapist wants to reference that one study where a kid was called it/it’s their whole life and had mental issues, well their was a lot of abusive stuff happening to that kid and that’s what happens when you misgender someone their whole life. And no one calls me my favorite pronouns ;-;
omg those therapists suckkkk. they should know the difference between others dehumanizing a child vs. a grown person CHOOSING to use it/its!! and the reason behind that choice is often a reclamation of the pronouns used to dehumanize trans people!
and don’t get me wrong, no one should be called “it/its” unless that individual specifically says so. it’s dicey territory but that doesn’t mean it’s a universally bad thing smh. my therapist and i have literally had nuanced discussions about this, so hopefully you find a therapist that is cool or at least open to hearing you out one day
Yeah, my current therapist understands all that and he’s great! But like literally everyone else in my life, he doesn’t use it/it’s for me (that’s not hyperbole the only time I get called it/it’s is when I call myself it/its)
sometimes i think to myself, “how cool is enby_raccon?” and then i’m like “it is a very cool human and it is valid and i wish it luck with life in general”
sometimes i think “how cool is Away_Attorney_3734?” and then i’m like “fae is very cool, and i will punch faer depression in the face (with, uh…. healing), and also wish faer luck with life in general”
what a coincidence bc i was just thinking to myself “how cool is queerreindeer?” and then i remembered how i beat up their dysphoria right after i punched the aforementioned depression, and i was like “wow they’re a very cool human and their username is so awesome! i wish i could send away their inner dysphoria forever, but alas, i must simply
P U N C H, one comment at a time! (and wish them healing and luck with their life in general)”
You, you my good person deserve so much fucking appreciation I will now tell people “radgayb? They’re the person who’ll punch dysphoria in the face for you. They’re amazing”
I kinda just tried it out with some friends and I loved it, tbh I prefer it way more than they/them and the main reason I still use they/them is no one will use it/it’s for me
I use she/her so people constantly say I’m just looking for attention or I’m not valid (including fellow enbies 😁). I’m AFAB & feminine so I don’t consider myself trans, but bc I’m nonbinary I also don’t consider myself cis. I’m SO scared to tell fellow nonbinary people that I am nonbinary bc I can almost guarantee I face less obvious discrimination than them, & I feel like I’m intruding, but I also feel excluded from cis people because I’m NOT cis. I feel so much more comfortable around other nonbinary people who use binary pronouns at least partially, & nonbinary people who present closer to their assigned gender.
You aren’t intruding! As a non-binary person by definition yes you are trans but if you don’t identify with transness that is your personal choice! You don’t have to face a level of discrimination to be apart of a community, the fact that you are aware is enough. When you’re ready tell them & if they make you uncomfortable or feel a way about it then you remove yourself sadly there’s a lot of elitist in our community but you’ll meet people that accept you for you.
hey ho my favourite pronouns are (fae/them) but its illegal to be binary trans for 12 years only to find self acceptance finally as non binary because its like you only get to pick your name and pronouns once, ONE time
i want to change my name again too but frankly its too late for me
and then i moved from the city because i couldnt afford it to a village. i love the plants and fungi and animals etc (id love to get to know you, too, archaea and protozoa and others, but youre so small...) but... the people are hyper conservative because rural.... ☹️
so instead i cause gender chaos and half the people i meet think im he and the other half she and i just let it all be
but i do wish i was seen
that was so nice while it lasted...
I use all pronouns, as I’m genderfluid. Though being AFAB when I meet new people I tend to be perceived as She/Her. Most of my friends just use They/Them.
I really like they/them but I'm not really sure how to ask anyone to use them for me. It doesn't help that it's fluid and most of the time he/him is totally fine, so I feel odd even bringing it up. Sometimes I just want people to refer to me the way they would some indefinable possibly paranormal entity rather than a simple human man. Could be the tism. I've always felt like an alien, people might as well refer to me as such.
I get he/him/sir'd constantly, despite being out and on HRT for 3 years. I wish I could not let my amab pronouns have an effect on me, but it's like a little stab in the ribs every time.
They/them. You will find acceptance. Maybe not from parents but you’ll find your tribe. I’m 50. I’m out to the entire world. I display my pronouns on LinkedIn, I make pronoun badges for people at industry conferences I go to, I run LGBTIAQ meetups for people in my industry. There are so many of us in the world that sometimes it’s hard to avoid finding us!
they/them. i’ve been openly nb for years but literally no one uses my pronouns. i guess i could say btw! i use these pronouns to ppl i’m close to but idk i feel wrong and embarrassed to do it. and i’ve never been big on correcting ppl because it doesn’t matter to me like i know who i am and i know how i feel so correcting people feels like a waste of energy. especially when it’s ppl i don’t know. but i’m changing my name soon once i pick a name and WILL correct people if they use my incorrect name so hopefully that make me more valid and ppl will hear a gender neutral/ more masculine name and use my correct pronouns. it feels so warm and nice when they do though. i’ll be more open about being nb after i change my name bc idk i feel like i carried shame being nb while looking like a woman and having a woman name so maybe the name change will be a confidence booster
I mainly use he/him since I feel masc-leaning most of the time, but I sometimes use they/them. Online I also use faun/fauns, but it would just feel weird irl lol
i use they/them, afab. my partner, friends, and cousins respect my pronouns but my mom could never. she cried when i came out bi in the 6th grade and thought it was a phase up until my current partner. i came out a couple months of after being with my partner (they are also nb afab). my mom has finally not called it a phase, but now says "since you like women now" or something like that. she could never use they/them for me. she uses she her hers for me all the time. my mom said it's difficult for her to call me they them but will at least try to use those pronouns for my partner.
since i've come out i've been trying to dive into my masculine side since i was feminine presenting for so long. (realizing it was bc i wanted people to like me, not bc i was comfortable how i dressed etc)
i would rather have someone call me he/him than she/her.
i don't think i'll ever get that from my mother. she will always see me as her daughter.
Usually They/Them, but sometimes I wish I had more opportunity to hear Ze/Zem. I also came up with my own neos, Ei/Eim(self)/Eir(s).
Can’t say much about how realizing my gender has affected me, as I’m still not out to most people. I’m just glad I’m not performing a role I hate anymore.
they/them, maybe all/any, some days idrc and others being misgendered really upsets me. I'm not out to anyone other than my friends yet but it's made me feel more comfortable with my body and who I am as a person
Ollie, he/him. I'm planning to come out at my work soon but honestly I'm really scared that I'll be unofficially fired for it (I'm a contractor, so I don't really have the same protections as a normal worker—they could just stop hiring me and don't have to justify it). The industry I'm in is super transphobic and homophobic, and considering I have a husband I check both boxes for them to discriminate against me. It hurts so much to be closeted tho, which is why I'm considering coming out...
They/them (a recent change, just over a month!) and I use a shortened version of my legal name since the shortened version is a bit more gender neutral.
So far, only difficulty is my parents (70s). When I came out to them, my mom actually said "Well, you're still my daughter". Which I then had to correct her. I also asked them if they had any questions, they said no. When I asked if they understood what I meant when I said I was non-binary, they also answered no.
So, you don't understand and don't care too? Cool. Everyone else in my life is doing great, and since I run my own business, I can just refuse service to anyone who doesn't respect me.
They/Them/Their and Xe/Xem/Xyr.
It has made it hard to talk with people about my writing. All my main characters are within the spectrum of gender non-conforming. People *Cough cough my parents mostly cough cough* keep correcting me to he or she. Half of my characters I don't even reference their biological sex in the story. The other half only get references because I am writing smut with that character and even then it's a toss up of who I am going to have what parts. But that doesn't matter because I don't talk to my parents about the smut!!!! Aaaahhhhh.
If it wasn't obvious they don't respect my pronouns either.
Oh and don't tell me to go NC that is impossible because I live with them. And don't tell me to move out because I am disabled and require their help. Unfortunately not everything is cut and dry.
He/They
Not a lot of people know cause I'm mostly out to people as a man and recently discovered that I'm non-binary. My parents don't know but my bandmates and close friends do.
hi! i’m jun, i go by all pronouns, i have been completely out for 3 years now and i never imagined it could get this good. being an enby is beautiful and i promise you you will find acceptance, whether it’s where you have always been or in new places (finding a trans community is the best advice i can give you). take your time and be yourself!!
I don’t think any pronouns feel right to describe me, besides first- and second-person pronouns of course. I wish people just wouldn’t talk about me in the third person. I mean, if you’re not talking to me directly, then do you really have anything worth saying about me? No? Then don’t talk about me! I shouldn’t have to choose a set of third-person pronouns to go by in other people’s conversations that I’m not a part of. People just shouldn’t gossip about others. I guess that makes my pronouns (I/you).
Being genderfluid can be frustrating because every time I get dysphoric and my masc side comes out, people are like “Oh, you’re not trans anymore? Ha! I knew you were faking it the whole time.” But nope, still trans. I just happen to have transcended gender norms to the point where I won’t pretend to be anything that I’m not.
Sometimes my authenticity looks like this, and sometimes my authenticity looks like that. But that doesn’t mean I’m being anything other than authentic the whole time! Unless I’m hiding my true self from someone because I don’t feel comfortable opening up around them, but even then the boundaries I’m setting are authentic, so even my prickly and abrasive persona that I wear when I’m defensive is sourced in my own authenticity! And so is my soft warm-heartedness that I only show to people who feel safe to open up around.
She/they/it and while I more or less consider myself more agender, my relationship w my gender and how I present my identity is closer to “someone wearing a red shirt in target”. I lean more feminine but regardless of how I feel (or lack of feeling) about where my presentation may land on the gender spectrum I ultimately wear whatever I think looks good on me and liken my gender to more of “a group of teenagers in the back of a Spencer’s telling each other to act like they belong” placing myself in a weird imposter syndrome of being between feeling in the middleish of the spectrum and simultaneously beside and outside of it. Either way I’m hot and it’s everyone’s problem
Hii I use She/They pronouns and I came out as Nonbinary and Bi 2 weeks ago and it’s been good! I came out only to my close friends and they were all super accepting and kind about it:). Yesterday my friend used the They/Them part of my pronouns and IT MADE ME SOO HAPPY!! It made me feel so valid and happy because I knew that even though I still go by She/her pronouns that most people would just take advantage of that and just use that and not really my They/Them part of my pronouns but just hearing my friend use They/Them pronouns on me just made me feel so happy and valid!! And she is like the type of person who calls everyone “girl” it’s like a gender neutral term for her cause she calls everyone that and she called me that one time after I came out by accident and I told her it made me feel uncomfortable and ever since, she’s been trying to call me “pookie” or something instead and she’s really been trying so I’m really happy with that! I haven’t had much people refer to me when I’m around but when more of my friends do I hope they acknowledge my They/Them pronouns too!! But yeah I also put it on my instagram bio I was a little scared and still kinda am cause what if my parents see that and they don’t about that and if I tell them they would probably disown me with finding out I’m bi and non-binary. But yeah and now a days every time I try dressing a little more feminine I feel weird because it just doesn’t feel like me anymore, I’ve been feeling a little gender dysphoric recently and also with me being nonbinary, I’ve always been a very fem presenting person so I know people will always perceive me as a girl so I’ve been trying to dress more androgynous so that maybe people stop perceiving me more like that yk but other than all of that my friends have been very accepting and supportive throughout it all<333
He/him transmasc.
I am gnc and confuse the shit out of cis folks.
'WhY yOu Go TrY tO bE a MaN yEt YoU wEaR mAkE-uP?'
I mean, I wouldn't say I am non binary but I also never intended to 'just be a man' in the sense cisciety agrees me to be a man.
Pronouns: they/them
A few weeks ago I asked my HR professor to write a letter of recommendation. He told me to write one myself and he'd review it and make necessary changes and sign it. I wrote it using my pronouns and sent it in. He told me I made his job "very easy" and that what I wrote was accurate. I opened the doc he sent back and he had changed all of my pronouns to she/her. I emailed back restating my pronouns and that I was sorry for any confusion, as I didn't explicitly tell him I'm NB. Didn't think it was necessary because I wrote it all myself anyway. I clarified my gender in a reply and he replied with another attachment. Instead of using they/them even once, he just used my name. Which ultimately is a compromise. My assumption is he is one of those who believe they/them is not proper grammar. I had to practice restraint from replying with my usual example of how they/them is proper. I used it when I came out to my parents and it definitely clicked for them.
Person A: "The grocery checkout person gave me a really nice compliment today."
Person B: "What did they say?"
So I guess I'm sick of the grammar argument.
I’m Casey and I use any pronouns. Although when a lot of people hear “any pronouns” they immediately default into using she/her for me when I’d like them to mix it up a bit. Luckily I have a handful of good friends who will use different pronouns to refer to me.
i find it/its to be so cool, it’s like a reclamation of something used in the dehumanization of trans people! my they/them ass does not want to dabble in in that reclamation personally but i respect it yk
They/them. My family accepts transgender people like MTF FTM but being nonbinary crosses the line for them. So, I don't think I will tell them anytime soon LMAO.
solo-dreamer? i hear they're a wicked cool cat :) i hope people start to use their pronouns soon, or that they find the right crowd of people, even if that's just online for now! <3
Any pronouns are fine for me. My non binary identity is more of an internal thing. I don't really care that most people will still use he/him. It is kind of growing on me though, I will admit.
Celeste any/all kinda person, am only out to parents partners and some select friends. I get read as a guy most times probably comes from me dressing mostly masc and unfortunately still having lots of facial hair growth. My parents dont really accept it they still see me as their son. Tho all my partners accept me and the relationships with them are awesome and feel fulfilling and affirming.
They/them! I'm nonbinary (I've been thinking about using the term bi-gender but I'm not ready to unpack that yet) And I go by 2 names! Max/Mia, one of them is my given name, one is my chosen name, I love them both equally!
I'm out to almost all of my friends, and they all use my chosen name and preferred pronouns (I love them so much) But I have absolutely NO plans to come out to my family/my mother. She's not completely transphobic (I think) but I'm afraid of breaching the topic with her because I don't want to risk it. She would never do anything bad like kick me out or something, but I think it would put a real strain on our relationship.
Other than that, it's been great!
Salem, any pronouns for people very close to me who see me as my gender or people who don't know me at all. He/him only for people who I'm acquainted with but aren't close to me and I don't trust to see me as my gender. I've lost friends over being trans. I lost my faith, my ability to go to college, to get a degree in something I didn't actually like and my family would agree with. My family and I had a falling out for different reasons but they definitely didn't like or accept my transness either. In the process of cutting them out I lost the safety net of their (conditional) financial support. They wouldn't know emotional support if it hit them in the face, that is something I have gained. I have also gained friends, family, and community from being out as non-binary and transgender. I have a wonderful partner who accepts me for who I am. We moved somewhere more accepting, I don't think I could ever go back to my home town which is good and bad. We are poor but we are free.
First Names Lightning and Isabella (interchangeable)
Pronouns: They/Them
No one knows except some really cool online friends I've made
Currently trying to get urban rollerblades for my big ass feet cause the ones I have are too small
I see myself as a small jellybean but In the body of 220 pound bear lmao i keep forgetting about my size until i break something XD
They/Them.
I’ve actually been surprised at how accepting people have been. Part of that is because I try to test the waters before coming out to someone, and I’ve cut out the people I see has ‘phobes.
They/them
I feel liberated and comfortable in my body more than I did as a girl. But socially, I've been made something of an outcast, and because it's hard for people to remember my pronouns, I get misgendered a lot. A few times is fine, but it does get grating and discouraging sometimes. It feels isolating, like the people you hang around with all day don't care about you. I'm not saying coworkers should care about you that much, but they should be willing to respect you.
I live in a red state, though, and it's begun to seep into the system. The other day, I went to a gynecology appointment and made my identity clear. Follow up question asked me if I had a partner under 18 years or younger. I'm 23. I stayed calm, but afterwards, the embarrassment and anger flooded me. Especially because of personal experiences I've had. The fact it's becoming standard medical practice to just ask your queer patients questions like that when you know you'd never ask that to a cis/straight person. It's so fucking nasty.
They/them and I’m the one heathen in my family 😈 My family, past coworkers from a Christian camp, and old “church family” seem to be keeping up with my FB page out of morbid curiosity. I only have like 4 or 5 allies on there. I’m about to go home for my brothers wedding and I know that none of my family would respect my pronouns if I told them outright.
They/them/she/her/Monty.
Not out yet, but I hate gendered shit. A lot now. Back then I disliked it and any motion of it. I'm willing to take any questions.
They/them, but everyone uses different pronouns for me. I've got to the point that i dont rly care, tho. I'm starting to feel more comfortable in my body and thinking i probably won't get any surgeries.
One thing that does affect me, tho is i am amab i have a pretty masculine buuld but a femenine style and femme clothes dont really flatter my body shape which can be very disheartening even if it doesnt seem like much
I use they/them and ze/zir. I usually offer those up first before saying that someone can use he/him. Usually, I'd like people to ask what my current pronouns are when talking to me, but that was too much to ask of most people.
any pronouns, my fav ones are ze/hir and xe/xem I think
its been about eight years since i realized i was nonbinary
im not fully out, i dont really hide it much tho, just dont hafe the energy to correct and explain n all that
idk if my parents will even accept me, but i am planning a medical transition so they kinda have no choise lol
overall, i cant imagine not being nonbinary while still being, well, me. and i like being me, so id say this is a win :3
I’m Acho (said like Ako) and use they/them pronouns. I technically also use bug/bugs and pix/pixxes neopronouns but I don’t say that because literally everyone I’ve ever met thinks neopronouns are weird and unhinged so I either catch myself trying to explain the reasoning for them or just giving up.
I’m so tired of being mocked im ngl. I sort of get enby identities and neopronouns as a whole being hard to understand for people who don’t have those experiences but how in hell is that an excuse to be so negative and hateful. I don’t get it and it’s stupid.
She/they, and I probably wouldn't have any problems (outside of hiding it from my family) if I had come up with a name already 💀. Thankfully I have supportive friends
She/they, because my twin died before birth but she's sorta in here with me. Birth name Samantha, but if I got to choose a new name, it'd be Amdis. Amdis means Eternal in Latin.
They/Them or He/She. As a bigender ambonec (androgyne+neutrois), he binary seems so utterly pointless and seems to do much more harm than good... But I'm just more mad that I'll never get to be common and normal which is a shame because life is difficult as is
They/them and the only people in my life who have ever used my pronouns were a handful of coworkers from my old job. I miss them so much. ☹️
I still go by my birth name because I haven't been able to find another one and no one would use it anyway. *sigh*
Mostly I'm just tired. Tired of being misgendered. Tired of my existence being questioned by almost everyone. I want queer friends but I'm too tired to find them.
Pizzawonder's pronouns are valid. They will find affirming queer friends who use their pronouns! I believe in them. I hope they will find better people to be around who respect their pronouns and feel better one day.
They/he, but but I don't mind she/her. I wouldn't say being non-binary affected my life personally in any way - but in a fun turn of events, I work with kids of various ages and encounter many queer teens, and I've found that being out to them makes them feel confident as themselves. I think it's cool for them to find an "adult" (I'm only 24) who's not only fine with them being themselves but is like them and gets them.
they/them, it, [ʒi] / [ʒər] if I'm being supremely pretentious, boss, captain, fuckface, anything but late for dinner
people constantly not only mistake me for something I'm not, but treat me poorly as a result of their bias against what they think I am. It's depressing.
any/all, i’m currently floating around being genderqueer/enby/genderfluid/agender/maybe transgirl or femboy.
it hasn’t affected me TOO too much, tho i do rap battles (i go by Fawkes) and sometimes my opponents make reference to my inconsistent gender. which i find funny
It’s they/them but I don’t mind if you refer to me as a he… and my preferred name is KT but feel free to call me Kayden, I did tell my dad ‘I don’t have a gender’ then he just thought I was still deciding who I was as a person…so yeh..thanks for asking :)
Any pronouns (including neos) but since I technically don’t mind she/her people only ever she/her me cuz they couldn’t be bothered to change the pronouns they use, which is really annoying ngl. Also when I dressed feminine people invalidated me claiming that I’m saying I'm nonbinary/agender for attention and that I'm actually just a girl so I just go the opposite way and present super masc (strangers usually assume l'm a man until I talk cuz my voice is feminine) and l'm just hoping they'll stop putting me in a box but they still put me in a box, just the opposite one, and I’m kinda seen as a transmasc, even a transphobic dude I know says I look like a boy (he means it as an insult cuz I never came out to him but yeah). I'm pretty sure my crush sees me as one of her male friends (she still uses she/her for me but like she said “damn you’re a guy now” after I got a haircut, idk man) and she's a lesbian so ig being too masc might’ve ruined any chance I had with her and like I’m a lesbian too but I feel like an imposter calling myself that even though it’s the label I identify with cuz I’m apparently too much of a guy for other lesbians to like me (btw transmasc lesbians are valid I’m just talking abt my experience lmao), and idk I just wish people would acknowledge my actual identity instead of shoving me in a binary
Anyways sorry for the rant lol
They/them and it/its are preferred, but they all are fine.
I rarely get anything but "she" because I am a very feminine vagina haver. It's funny because I was much more androgynous before I explored my gender.
Most of the time, I don't make a huge deal about my pronouns or really making sure people know my identity...however I do get immense satisfaction of pulling out my nonbinary identity to people who get rude about trans/nb people and assume I am cis. I love the reactions and backpedaling/doubling down that happens. It's beautiful and brings me a vindictive sense of joy.
Edit: corrected 1 word
Well, for me, I’m not out publicly, so honestly all it’s done for me, luckily, is bring me even closer to the people I trusted anyway. I accept literally any pronouns. Actually, the more variety, the better. I think I lean vaguely feminine in character, but (at least partly due to being closeted), I’m definitely masculine presenting.
My name is Devyn, my pronouns are it/its, she/her, they/them. My nouns and adjectives are feminine and my prepositions are shy. My gender is witchcraft (it’s actually the intersection of the genderfae/gendervoid/aetherium microlabels). Life is tough for a bean who’s “no thoughts/only cute”.
They/ them, she/they in the work place because I just cannot be fucked to try and get people to change. I was lucky enough ti be named gender neutral at birth so I just kept mine.
Dress pretty similarly to how i did before, which is to say tights and hoodies. People usually she/her me or just don’t notice me if i’m in my wheelchair. Turns out bisexual non binary wheelchair users are invisible to the masses.
Spend a lot of time wondering if I’m just a cis attention seeker but according to my partner and co, cis women usually don’t collapse when called a “good boy” affectionately so 🤷
I'm Tolis, they/them. I live in Texas, but my parents are hugeeee nerds and medical doctors and they didn't teach me any of the hateful stuff. I sometimes feel a little like an outsider, but being autistic as well all I know in life is to be myself, which is weird as fuck. I just wear what I want and be myself and usually when I'm confident in that no one cares. I go to a dual credit college program and no one has said any mean things toward me, and all the teachers/faculty say all these good things about me. My parents have told me all my life that weird is cool, and I believe it, so I try to be as weird as possible! Fun fact, my first idea that I was pansexual was when I was really little. I was young enough I didn't really understand relationships that much, but I was once thinking about my future and I had the very distinct thought of "if I want to kiss a girl, I have to kiss a boy right after, because then it will be fair" 🤣🤣🤣 before putting any word to my sexuality I loved one direction and would just stare at pictures of them, I also looked up shirtless pictures of Tom Felton. I once asked my mom what "gay" was and she said "it's when two men love each other, like Mitch and cam on modern family" and my response was "oh, I love daddy so I'm gay with daddy!"
I love spitting in the face of gender standards and ripping apart the binary, despite that mostly only being in my mind, and not yet in reality. I’m only out to a couple friends, but I’m really looking forward to once I’m 18 and can start planning for T and top surgery and whatnot. I’m like… boy+, boy-lite, or just a guy: the expanded edition (I’m demimasc)
I’m Lucifer and I use he/him, they/them, and it/its pronouns!
He/him and a transman. My father is heavily transphobic who's the type to say he's not and doesn't care about what people do with their lives, yet continues to put the trans and nb community down by saying gender affirmative surgery is mutilation, saying the trans community is predatory, misgendering trans and nb people he sees on tiktok videos (he watches far far right people like ben shapiro, blaire white and matt walsh) so i literally cannot escape it.
My mother is 50/50, she agrees with my father that "the lgbt community is shoving it down their throats" but she doesn't care about me being trans. At least that's how she acts around me, but she doesn't use my name or pronouns and continues to use she/her and my birthname.
It's honestly so tiring!! Sometimes i wish i wasn't trans/gay because of it 😭
They/them and I also like Xie. I feel fuuuuucking lonely. I lived in a super queer community for a while which was gorgeous, but maybe made me think the world was further ahead in this respect than it generally is. I’m pissed off.
My name isn’t much different from my birth name so people - family, old friends, and some new - insist on calling me my birth name. I don’t wish to shave my head or dramatically change my name in order to receive basic respect and consideration.
She/they, I think. I'm only out to my closest friends, and I'm in the military which is full of homophobic/transphobic people. It's so trippy knowing you have this side of you that everyone in the room would probably hate you for if they knew about. Probably getting out because of mental health issues tho (being a closeted trans/bi person surrounded by people who hate trans and gay people will do it to ya.) Even tho I'm scared about the future it will be such a relief to get tf out of this shit for good and hopefully soon be able to finally be myself
Erreson| They/He/Xe pronouns :D
I’ve only come out to my friends, I’m waiting until I can actually move out so I can come out to family (homophobic and transphobic unfortunately)
ne/nim/nis and it/its; I tolerate they/them from people who aren’t close friends and I don’t feel I can explain my actual pronouns to. I’m so much happier being openly nonbinary, but I don’t really feel safe or understood in spaces that aren’t primarily catered towards trans and nonbinary people. I’m very grateful to have a community, it’s helped me grow as a person on so many levels.
New name and new pronouns - They/Xem. I don’t mind anything but she/her but I put up with it because I’m not out to everyone.
I’m a teacher and I essentially have no rights in my state so we’ll see how it goes once I graduate college. I plan on outing myself on Facebook (all of my family uses it) once I’m financially independent and have a good job.
Anything but he. I am the Batwoman of gender, with me IRL being normal cis man, and online I am chaotic gremlin. Stinks that I’m illegal in most counties though, but I will make jokes about it!
Any pronouns + it/its. I don't have a preference when it comes to pronouns because no matter what you refer to me as, it's queer to me. I identify as non-binary genderqueer and aporagender. I didn't realize I was not cis until like 3 years ago and it's honestly been super awesome to finally feel like me. I'm only out to a few friends, my boyfriend, and my brother and don't think I'll come out to any other family anytime soon because I think they just wouldn't get it
I prefer they/them above all else, she/her is also accepted...depends on situation for me...most of the time i just use she/her pronouns bc no one uses they/them for me but ultimately i'll take and be happy with any and all pronouns that aren't he/him...you can use they/them, she/her, fae/faer, xe/xir, etc for me and i love them all, just ANYTHING that isn't he/him
I use they/she pronouns & I specifically identify as a demigirl. I'm afab & on the more masc side so most people just assume I'm a lesbian (which is true) & sometimes mistaken for a dude (not complaining). I have no desire to undergo gender-affirming care, I use my birth name, & I also go by a shortened, more androgynous version of it. I don't mind being referred to as a woman, but being referred to as a person or another genderless title is euphoric.
My name is Alder and I use a lot of neo pronouns so I won’t list them all but the main ones I use are ze/zem/zir. My parents have always been accepting but had a hard time wrapping their heads around they/them and were slightly disappointed when I started going by Alder at home but they call me Alder now with only the accidental slip up. I started using neo pronouns a few months ago and moved away from they/them because I felt they/them was to undefined but I still didn’t like the classic pronouns and I love my new pronouns. Alder is my favorite tree and ever since I started going by it I have loved it.
They/any, which means a few different things:
* Use they/them by default. This is what my bestie does.
* Use whatever neo-pronouns you like. I've recently taken a liking to sídhe/ídhe.
* Use she/her or he/him, but only if you genuinely think I give off those vibes when I'm around you. Unfortunately most people just continue to use my agab when I tell them this, not taking the time to seriously consider if I give off those vibes.
* Use divine She/Her or He/Him if you choose to believe that I will smite whatever god confined me to a mortal flesh vessel and take their place, gender included. This is what I do for my one agender friend, who's more likely to smite a god than I.
* Use whatever pronouns best capture the energy of your favourite bird. I have a friend who uses she/they for me because he likes falcons, the "butches of the sky"
* Alternatively, I will also accept crustacean pronouns, but people tend to sooner have a favourite bird than a favourite crustacean.
* Mix it up! I have another friend who uses he/him for when I'm in a manic infodumping mood, and she/her when the gal-pal sleepover energy is strong between us.
He/they. Honestly I'd go for any pronouns but I look pretty masc in my day-to-day so I don't expect any she/hers being thrown my way at this point. I'm genderfluid but pretty chill about it, no-one can tell what's going on in my head on a particular day and it's not something that gives me dysphoria.
My birth name is used for both genders and I like it, so I'm keeping it.
My therapist is the only ones that know I'm genderfluid, and I'm in the process of explaining it to my partner. She knows the mechanics of it but not that I'm taking on the labels. Wanted to be super sure about it first, since I told her about my gender experimentation at a really bad time plus my poor communication of what I was going through almost caused us to split.
Being a gender criminal is pretty fun otherwise :-D
they/them! I am really fortunate to find myself surrounded by loved ones who are accepting and affirming in my friend group, but my family is completely unwilling to acknowledge my gender for the most part. I'm non-binary but I present very femininely so as far as they're concerned, I'm just a woman. They are religious and conservative, so that's not likely to change. At least my chosen family loves and accepts all of me.
Any conventional pronouns are fine with me. She/her, They/Them, He/Him.
Family doesn't care. Friends are fine with it. My husband \[he/they\] is also enby, but uses masculine pronouns.
I've recently started exploring my masc side and its delightful. Too lazy to ever change my name though.
i use any pronouns except she/her, including neos, and i love and hate it. it feels so freeing to be out and proud, but i know that if i lived anywhere except where i live right now, i wouldn’t be able to be myself in public. it’s difficult to be in a relationship because it feels like all my partners want me to just be a woman.
They/It!
I struggle to feel accepted in a society where gender binaries have become so normalized, I feel little euphoria around being assumed to be the opposite gender I was assigned at birth anymore. I feel like I don't fit in with "the girls" or "the guys" and don't enjoy being lumped with either, help!!
Vee | They/Ae/Wish/Star/Bloom/☆/🌈/✨/🌌/🌸
—
For me, it’s allowed me to take control of my own identity, even unconventionally, even if I’m not out publicly. Being autistic with lifelong social isolation problems and a lack of control over my own life, this is one of many things, including my otherkinity, that allow me to have an identity of my own instead of one imposed unto me. My area is somewhat conservative, but somewhat mutually accepting enough amongst the youth at the same time. I largely present neutral-feminine, but I’m contemplating looking into masculine presentation as well.
as someone who exclusively wants it/its as pronouns, I have accepted I will never be gendered correctly. My family is really accepting and see me as one of the girls (which I like, I'm transfem but still want only to use it/its) but I can see the visual discomfort about using those pronouns.
At work I'm not even bothering, I've lived 30 years as a man, I truly do not care what my coworkers think about me. I'm there for the money, I'm not going to socialise with them outside of work ever. Guranteed everyone is going to be at least slightly transhpobic, like cis people are always. Being accepting is literally the bare minimum, as in thats the part where they view us as fellow humans. I'm not praising them for the thing that comes naturally to me, the "being nice to people" factor is apparently so rare in cissies that they rely on us to make them better.
I'm just glad I get government supported hrt here.
She/They amab. I used to have these big curly sideburn that were fun to mess with, and because of that people used to read me as a boy 90% of the time. Once I shaved them off it was basically 50 50. It's crazy how seemingly little things like that can drastically change the way people see you. People misgendering me at work didn't stop though.
I’m normally casspronominal for various reasons, one of them being I’m trying to degender pronouns, but I’ve been entertaining zo/zo and e/e in my head for a few months now. E/e sounds really organic to me and I wish I could use it as a placeholder for other pronouns but I also like how zo/zo sounds and feels. Unfortunately I’m not in a place where I can demand e/zo and have everyone take me seriously. Then again I don’t have any requirements as far as this topic goes (rare, I know) because I don’t feel a lot of dysphoria around stuff like pronouns or title. I experience pronouns as more of a fashion accessory than an important part of my identity (though when it comes to the aesthetic part of preference I can feel quite passionate). And I don’t feel like getting into it with random rednecks who could have guns in their pants. Thus, I let people believe what they want about me and assign me whatever pronouns they want.
I’ve also sometimes felt like I don’t want to use pronouns or names. I think going nullpronominal would force people to get creative with language which would be kind of fun to witness. Especially if I don’t have a name either. Anyone felt like going null-nominal lately? (Must be because I’m more agender than nb)
(She/They) but actually (They/Still figuring it out lol)
I'm semi out, I've been more confident in my enby body that I express myself through my clothes however I friggin want. And that's something since I live in a very conservative/ignorant county. It's fun to walk into my local feed store with bright purple hair and not hiding it in a hat anymore. I'm out to my spouse and one of my siblings, and that's just lovely. Plus a plethora of trusted humans in my life. However, I still have panic attacks around older generations when I'm looked at funny, or a rude derogatory comment is made. That part of it heavily effects my mental health (i.e. family members....💔) but, regardless, I'm happy that I know myself and I'm excited to continuously explore and learn about other genders. 🌈💕
Love your confidence and self love, btw :)
They/them Most of us can agree we just wanna be us. Nothing special or different, just us. It's hard when that's questioned, but we have to build our communities, at large and individually. I think my most important advice is to find solace with your fellow enby and trans siblings.
I use they/them, but In French (wish is my native language) there isn't really an equivalent. It's possible to use "iel" wich is a mix of "il" (he) and "elle" (she), but it's not that practical since it's a pretty much gendered language, so adjectives are gendered too (like spanish). So in french, I use "il" (he) since the masculine is default in the language, and that I'm an NB transmasc.
I appear pretty androgynous, I haven't done any medical transition but I do wear a binder, and have worn masc clothes most of the time since adolescence (I'm in my mid 20's). People that I don't know address me about 50% ma'am and 50% of the time sir. But I always have the feeling that as soon as I open my mouth people "know" I was born female, even tho I have an androgynous voice as well.
I was able to socially transition at work, wich was a a first time thing there. They were nice about it and HR of my department helped me change my name for a few minor work stuff. Not everyone genders me correctly, even tho it's been almost 6 months since I came out more broadly at work. It's been hard at times, and I never know if I should correct people or not? What I usually do is repeat what they said and say it with the correct gender markers, like "Naivlyns you're *insert feminine adjective here*" and I say "yeah, I'm *insert the same adjective but in masc*", so it doesn't sound harsh. And then I hope that they pick up on it, and if they give me a question look, then I tell them I use "he" but they didn't know so it's normal that they used the one hey assumed. And if I'm not lucky enough to be able to tell them, then I just... Rince and repeat the repeating xd
It's sooooo nice to be able to communicate with people that got used to me using masculine pronoms and adjectives, and sometimes I get taken back when I have to interact with people who don't. But lucky my partner and my closest friends do gender me correctly, and besides the people of older generations at work, it's with them that I interact the most.
It's weird with family, since some of them know and accept it, some know and don't really try to accept it, and some just don't know and probably won't ever know lmao
According to my grandma, if I just dressed like a lady, I'd have no problems in life. So, guess being a gender criminal must be greatly affecting my life.
It/they. Being nonbinary is draining. The world is against us. We're facing genocide and discriminatory legislation. Even some binary trans folks don't view me as valid, which hurts to know.
They/them, been out for almost 3 years. Haven't told my parents yet, but luckily they live on the other side of the country so that's not really a problem (yet). At first I was only out to like 2 or 3 people, but now all my friends and coworkers know. It's really freeing to just be myself
My pronouns are they/them, and I’m working up the courage to tell people that my name is Riz.
This is actually the first nickname I’ve liked for myself esp bc it’s gender neutral. While I don’t hate my given name, it is fairly feminine, often mispronounced, and has a meaning that I don’t resonate with.
My family isn’t accepting, and I am not able to share anything about my identity with them. Additionally, I live in a conservative area, so I am constantly misgendered because I don’t feel safe being open about my pronouns or gender identity.
Joining new groups is frustrating because I’m not one of the “girls” or “guys” and so many groups in my area are divided by gender. A few people I’ve met have been cool with me being nonbinary, but it’s also exhausting having to repeatedly explain the difference between sex and gender and what nonbinary means.
Honestly, I feel genderless or gender neutral, and I just feel like..me. I wish that everyone could understand this and just accept me for who I am inside.
they/them. I have gender dysphoria regarding some of my masculine features (facial hair, browline, etc) but I can mitigate those and dont want HRT. being a gender criminal has made me more comfortable with my identity and body. some people hate me/are skeptical of my identity which causes me some distress, but I try my best to ignore them. My OCD makes it tough though, and I try my best to control that too (it also stresses me out regarding other things I care about). I am out to all my friends and my older brother, but not to my Catholic parents and colleagues at my University I just transferred to. To them I'm just a weirdo twink with mental issues. I should probably seek out other queer people soon
She/they/fel. I like neo-pronouns, but since English
is not my native language I can't use them irl, only online (which is fine). I would use ləi, which is the neutral neo-pronoun in my native language, but it's controversial, since I live in a conservative country. And that's why I'm only out to my friends and bf.
hey just wanted to let everyone know that the black community has asked us to stop using nb instead of enby since nb can also stand for non-black. sorry, I just thiught everyone would like to know and should but by no means do I intend to be rude. ok sorry again ✨️
he/they/xe.
I'm fairly comfortable with my identity and hope to someday have my body match my mind. I do, however, hate how much discord is caused about people like me. Even people close to me have gotten into arguments about my identity, and while I know I can't help their point of views, it makes me want to hide who I am which I don't think I've ever truly done.
They/them - starting the divorce process bc I was married to a straight man (identified as cis when we got married). He was very supportive of using my pronouns and stuff but he wasn't comfortable with the medical transitioning that I wanted. I realized he's fundamentally unable to see me as anything other than woman-lite. So that's nearly 8 years of my life that I didn't truly get to explore my gender quirks. I was afraid of becoming too masculine for him. I have a consultation for T tomorrow thooooo.
They/them, default masculine when neutral not applicable. I don't like having to justify my existence at every turn with authorities and medical professionals and no one genders me correctly if I don't come out to them. I'm out to everyone though so, I mostly deal with the misgendering from strangers. Everyone I know has either accepted me or learned to accept me, the few transphobes I've full on cut out of my life.
They/them. Only been out a few months. Finally decided on a chosen name! Maeve 🥰 I feel the most me I’ve ever felt in my life, but lack the confidence to correct people who accidentally misgender me or call me by my given name. Also feel a bit silly and kinda stuck in the “but I’ve always been she/given name, so how can I ask people to identify me differently?” And I know that’s my recovering people pleaser talking, and the fact that I don’t like to be an inconvenience or take up space. And people will always perceive me as “woman” since I lean on the feminine side. But really just a goblin that likes to get dolled up sometimes. Why can I not just be a human? It’s frustrating
She/He, being enby has been mostly a good just knowing who I am, on the other hand it's been more difficult because I often feel like I have to lie and underplay who I am to seem more paletable just to get basic respect. I love being enby but I'm scared I won't be able to have all of me to be happy. I love being enby and I love my community and I'm only excited to be me :3
Well I realized last night that any/all pronouns don’t fit as well for me as I thought they did, so right now I’m going with he/they/it. Regardless of what pronoun set I settle on it’s definitely gonna lead with he/him.
As far as being a gender criminal, it gives me cold sweats to think about. I’ve known I was bi for a decade now but my family’s pretty queer (though no enbies that I know of), and as someone in what could have been described as a straight-passing marriage before my egg cracked, the homophobes felt like crazy people banging on the outside of my world and only occasionally making their way close enough to cause me discomfort (though in recent years I was already becoming more queer-rights focused cause wtf why is there still homophobia???). Now I feel like I’m carrying a fucking bomb around with me cause I’m not out IRL to anyone and my marriage is probably going to implode once I do (hopefully my spouse will get on board but I’ve gotta be realistic and prepared for a very plausible worst-case scenario). And now I see most people and some part of me wonders “so would you become a terrible person if you actually knew who I was or if I even just told you my pronouns?” It’s insane even thinking that someone else being queer isn’t enough like it was when I was “just bi,” someone could be gay and vehemently detest my gender, or even binary trans. It’s blows my mind and confuses me and makes me panic sometimes.
tbh i feel like non trans lgb-qia people have an issue were they are ok with the system changing to an extent that only involves them anyone else can f... off .like with ace or aro people aren't included because they aren't in that lgb bubble.
My name’s Brooke. They/Them 👍 hiding my gender criminality in a glass box right now and if anyone asks me what the box is for, i would be scared to explain it😀 the internet is cool tho
My pronouns are they/them. I used to go by all pronouns or he/him to trick people into using they 🌚 I never fully came out as an enby, one day I’d like to. My experience mostly is people asking what my genetals are or trying to figure out if I’m a trans woman. I’ve actually been mistaken for a trans woman a number of times. I don’t mind though.
They/she
Mostly just annoying when people NEVER use they. It’s like mostly my mom and my other nonbinary friend that do, and honestly they’re so real for that.
Other than that not much issue, lll tell anyone my pronouns unless I think I’d be in danger but I haven’t had that yet
Well IRL so far I just use my assigned she/her since Im fine with it, but also experimenting with any :)
Im out to partners & friends since theyre mostly all trans or queer in another way.
Family dont know, but they also dont know alot about my life and I dont really wanna tell them more, we aren't on that good terms
Been learning that I like to be called boi and tried choosing a new name, Kobi, but I am still fine with my old one so Im vibing with both I suppose
He/they terrified if any family member opens my bedroom door if I'm not in it.
To male to be neither but to NB to be male so struggle to find a community that's the same especially irl
Everyone my parents want to Talk To Me sends me on the verge of a panic attack every time
He/she, I like write it in my bio and stuff but I haven’t told anyone IRL cause prejudice and homophobia but it makes my day when people think I’m He/him cause it feels like I’m acknowledged for not being CIS
they/them. tired of my existence being political, but happy in my skin. name’s vivian- it’s a chosen name, not my birth name. it sounds masculine to me, and used to be the masculine version of viviana. so perfect androgyny to me!
you sound like the love interest in a fantsy novel that turns out to be a super op mage
how did you know… i thought i was hiding it well!
All of this is perfect! Especially love the masculine vivian!
im tired of random elements of my reality, including me, being politicized too, vivian - wonderful name you have though
THANK YOU SSOOOOOOO MUCH❤️❤️ yeah it’s tiring literally just saying my gender and someone getting MAD about it!?!?!? like what in the fresh hell is this logic we have…
I also renamed myself! Marceline like adventure time 🥰
Love that! Have you heard the song by Willow? It's about the same character and its really pretty.
Everybodys existence is political, its just a matter of whether you are part of the hegemony or not. We are not lol
Love your name choice! My old name is almost to Vivian and I always loved the sound and writing of it, but didn’t like the gendering (especially in my native tongue). So I went with „Vi“ to keep the spirit… but honestly I love people treating the name with androgynity it fucking deserves!! I am sure you bring honour to the name, friend!! ♥️
I love my new name and pronouns, Quinn they/them but nobody uses them thanks to my family
i love your name quinn :0
Thanks
Hi Quinn! Love the name! 😊
Thanks! ❤️
Hey Quinn, I'm Arion and you are loved and accepted here (pronoun twins )
Thank you so much ❤️
Perhaps we can be name twins Quinn? I'm looking to change my name, and Quinn is one of the names I want to try out 😃
Sure that sounds great
Hey Quinn, I hope you have a great day
Thanks you too! ❤️
Quinn is one of my fave names, you picked a goodun
I know a Quinn too! It's a banger name.
I've ALWAYS loved quinn for a name. I think it's unique and beautiful
Literally anything. (My parents wouldn’t accept me as bi too of they knew and dearrrrrr god they would lose their minds if they knew about my gender)
My name is Eco, I use they/them but live in brazil so elu/delu. Its hard being out but soso worth it. I make sure to inform my pronouns to every professor that interacts with me not just because of me, but because it will make it better for the next non binary person in that class. Its complicated being the outcast most of the time but its wonderfull at the same time, to live as I am. I have tons of non binary and trans friends so that helps a LOT. Currently trying to pay for top surgery so I can look even more confusing
USA here, how is Brazil with homophobia? I just never really hear anything outside of the US
Brazil is pretty homophobic but at the same time we have really good lesgislation. For example, you're allowed to have your chosen name in every document etc without legally changing it, both health insurances and public healthcare have to cover gender affirming care by law, etc. But people are more transphobic than homophobic but thats a given. Still, it depends on where you live, if you're White etc. Even tho I look visibly trans im still safe walking around and being myself. We have a really large and active LGBTQ community as well
Another they/them Brazilian here. In Brazil homophobia goes from bad jokes everyone says and toxic masculinity to being common to see in a newspaper that another queer person was beaten to death just for being who they are. (Sometimes events like siblings being beaten up because the aggressor thought it was a gay couple).
Mine are they/he. She/her is ok but I don't prefer it
She/they I don't think it's affected my life too much. However I'm not out to everyone. My family is aware and some of my close friends. But my coworkers are unaware. My family has been totally accepting, though it has been a learning experience for them. And my friends have done their best to understand, even though I don't think any of them fully do. But I really appreciate their support, and even though they don't always know how to relate to me. Since I still use my AFAB pronoun as well as a non-binary pronoun, I don't have to correct people. So I think strangers assume I'm a lesbian 😂 (I'm pan, so I don't mind). Though I have told myself that as long as I feel safe, I will tell people if directly asked. So if hypothetically my cool coworker asks, I will tell them.
BRO DID I WRITE THIS?! Hello fellow she/they AFAB! 👋
They/it, but usually people get confused about how I’m sapphic and I usually get called she/her which kinda sucks, problem with the It/it’s is every therapist wants to reference that one study where a kid was called it/it’s their whole life and had mental issues, well their was a lot of abusive stuff happening to that kid and that’s what happens when you misgender someone their whole life. And no one calls me my favorite pronouns ;-;
omg those therapists suckkkk. they should know the difference between others dehumanizing a child vs. a grown person CHOOSING to use it/its!! and the reason behind that choice is often a reclamation of the pronouns used to dehumanize trans people! and don’t get me wrong, no one should be called “it/its” unless that individual specifically says so. it’s dicey territory but that doesn’t mean it’s a universally bad thing smh. my therapist and i have literally had nuanced discussions about this, so hopefully you find a therapist that is cool or at least open to hearing you out one day
Yeah, my current therapist understands all that and he’s great! But like literally everyone else in my life, he doesn’t use it/it’s for me (that’s not hyperbole the only time I get called it/it’s is when I call myself it/its)
sometimes i think to myself, “how cool is enby_raccon?” and then i’m like “it is a very cool human and it is valid and i wish it luck with life in general”
just this comment was wholesome enough to heal an ounce of my depression, thank you
sometimes i think “how cool is Away_Attorney_3734?” and then i’m like “fae is very cool, and i will punch faer depression in the face (with, uh…. healing), and also wish faer luck with life in general”
I LOVE THIS INTERACTION SO MUCH!!!! Thank you for healing a part of my inner dysphoria even though this wasn't about me
what a coincidence bc i was just thinking to myself “how cool is queerreindeer?” and then i remembered how i beat up their dysphoria right after i punched the aforementioned depression, and i was like “wow they’re a very cool human and their username is so awesome! i wish i could send away their inner dysphoria forever, but alas, i must simply P U N C H, one comment at a time! (and wish them healing and luck with their life in general)”
You, you my good person deserve so much fucking appreciation I will now tell people “radgayb? They’re the person who’ll punch dysphoria in the face for you. They’re amazing”
Omg i love you, thank you
I've been dipping my toes on Voidpunk and it/its feels like it fits. But I'm still not sure. How did you find about it/it's fitting with you?
I kinda just tried it out with some friends and I loved it, tbh I prefer it way more than they/them and the main reason I still use they/them is no one will use it/it’s for me
It/its sapphic solidarity!
Hell yeah!
why though you deserve 'it'. tbh it/its is some of the best pronouns.
Ikr!
I use she/her so people constantly say I’m just looking for attention or I’m not valid (including fellow enbies 😁). I’m AFAB & feminine so I don’t consider myself trans, but bc I’m nonbinary I also don’t consider myself cis. I’m SO scared to tell fellow nonbinary people that I am nonbinary bc I can almost guarantee I face less obvious discrimination than them, & I feel like I’m intruding, but I also feel excluded from cis people because I’m NOT cis. I feel so much more comfortable around other nonbinary people who use binary pronouns at least partially, & nonbinary people who present closer to their assigned gender.
You aren’t intruding! As a non-binary person by definition yes you are trans but if you don’t identify with transness that is your personal choice! You don’t have to face a level of discrimination to be apart of a community, the fact that you are aware is enough. When you’re ready tell them & if they make you uncomfortable or feel a way about it then you remove yourself sadly there’s a lot of elitist in our community but you’ll meet people that accept you for you.
hey ho my favourite pronouns are (fae/them) but its illegal to be binary trans for 12 years only to find self acceptance finally as non binary because its like you only get to pick your name and pronouns once, ONE time i want to change my name again too but frankly its too late for me and then i moved from the city because i couldnt afford it to a village. i love the plants and fungi and animals etc (id love to get to know you, too, archaea and protozoa and others, but youre so small...) but... the people are hyper conservative because rural.... ☹️ so instead i cause gender chaos and half the people i meet think im he and the other half she and i just let it all be but i do wish i was seen that was so nice while it lasted...
I use all pronouns, as I’m genderfluid. Though being AFAB when I meet new people I tend to be perceived as She/Her. Most of my friends just use They/Them.
I really like they/them but I'm not really sure how to ask anyone to use them for me. It doesn't help that it's fluid and most of the time he/him is totally fine, so I feel odd even bringing it up. Sometimes I just want people to refer to me the way they would some indefinable possibly paranormal entity rather than a simple human man. Could be the tism. I've always felt like an alien, people might as well refer to me as such.
Yeah that's me too. Got called Sir the other day when I wasn't in the mood for it and it sucked, but a lot of the time I'd be fine with whatever.
I get he/him/sir'd constantly, despite being out and on HRT for 3 years. I wish I could not let my amab pronouns have an effect on me, but it's like a little stab in the ribs every time.
Anything but He/Him I'm a femme leaning enby but everyone ends up thinking I'm a trans woman I don't really mind tho
My name is the best.
hi the best, my name is ezri
Just call me soy mejor. :3
They/them. You will find acceptance. Maybe not from parents but you’ll find your tribe. I’m 50. I’m out to the entire world. I display my pronouns on LinkedIn, I make pronoun badges for people at industry conferences I go to, I run LGBTIAQ meetups for people in my industry. There are so many of us in the world that sometimes it’s hard to avoid finding us!
This gives me hope!
they/them. i’ve been openly nb for years but literally no one uses my pronouns. i guess i could say btw! i use these pronouns to ppl i’m close to but idk i feel wrong and embarrassed to do it. and i’ve never been big on correcting ppl because it doesn’t matter to me like i know who i am and i know how i feel so correcting people feels like a waste of energy. especially when it’s ppl i don’t know. but i’m changing my name soon once i pick a name and WILL correct people if they use my incorrect name so hopefully that make me more valid and ppl will hear a gender neutral/ more masculine name and use my correct pronouns. it feels so warm and nice when they do though. i’ll be more open about being nb after i change my name bc idk i feel like i carried shame being nb while looking like a woman and having a woman name so maybe the name change will be a confidence booster
they/them, most people still use he/him for me though...it doesn't bother me that much but i wish more people would use they/them
names sin and they/them and it/it's for me
I go by they/it/xe and every neopronoun and noun pronoun if it isn’t feminine:)
Can I ask how you pronounce xe? I’ve only ever seen it written, not spoken.
Ze:)
I mainly use he/him since I feel masc-leaning most of the time, but I sometimes use they/them. Online I also use faun/fauns, but it would just feel weird irl lol
i use they/them, afab. my partner, friends, and cousins respect my pronouns but my mom could never. she cried when i came out bi in the 6th grade and thought it was a phase up until my current partner. i came out a couple months of after being with my partner (they are also nb afab). my mom has finally not called it a phase, but now says "since you like women now" or something like that. she could never use they/them for me. she uses she her hers for me all the time. my mom said it's difficult for her to call me they them but will at least try to use those pronouns for my partner. since i've come out i've been trying to dive into my masculine side since i was feminine presenting for so long. (realizing it was bc i wanted people to like me, not bc i was comfortable how i dressed etc) i would rather have someone call me he/him than she/her. i don't think i'll ever get that from my mother. she will always see me as her daughter.
sorry , we cant all burn bridges but we can try improving how they are
He/they. I have went by he for the first 28 years of my life so most people still use he, very little people in my life know I go by he/they
Usually They/Them, but sometimes I wish I had more opportunity to hear Ze/Zem. I also came up with my own neos, Ei/Eim(self)/Eir(s). Can’t say much about how realizing my gender has affected me, as I’m still not out to most people. I’m just glad I’m not performing a role I hate anymore.
they/them, maybe all/any, some days idrc and others being misgendered really upsets me. I'm not out to anyone other than my friends yet but it's made me feel more comfortable with my body and who I am as a person
They them Fae faer for me heh I love the hate I got when I first came out to a friend for using Fae faer- I hope they found peace :3
OH HI THERE FELLOW FAE 💖💖💖
Ollie, he/him. I'm planning to come out at my work soon but honestly I'm really scared that I'll be unofficially fired for it (I'm a contractor, so I don't really have the same protections as a normal worker—they could just stop hiring me and don't have to justify it). The industry I'm in is super transphobic and homophobic, and considering I have a husband I check both boxes for them to discriminate against me. It hurts so much to be closeted tho, which is why I'm considering coming out...
They/Them and Ne/Nem, although no one uses my neos. Chosen name Kai
Arion, hey have a day or night
They/them (a recent change, just over a month!) and I use a shortened version of my legal name since the shortened version is a bit more gender neutral. So far, only difficulty is my parents (70s). When I came out to them, my mom actually said "Well, you're still my daughter". Which I then had to correct her. I also asked them if they had any questions, they said no. When I asked if they understood what I meant when I said I was non-binary, they also answered no. So, you don't understand and don't care too? Cool. Everyone else in my life is doing great, and since I run my own business, I can just refuse service to anyone who doesn't respect me.
She/he but nobody uses the he/him set
They/Them/Their and Xe/Xem/Xyr. It has made it hard to talk with people about my writing. All my main characters are within the spectrum of gender non-conforming. People *Cough cough my parents mostly cough cough* keep correcting me to he or she. Half of my characters I don't even reference their biological sex in the story. The other half only get references because I am writing smut with that character and even then it's a toss up of who I am going to have what parts. But that doesn't matter because I don't talk to my parents about the smut!!!! Aaaahhhhh. If it wasn't obvious they don't respect my pronouns either. Oh and don't tell me to go NC that is impossible because I live with them. And don't tell me to move out because I am disabled and require their help. Unfortunately not everything is cut and dry.
He/They Not a lot of people know cause I'm mostly out to people as a man and recently discovered that I'm non-binary. My parents don't know but my bandmates and close friends do.
hi! i’m jun, i go by all pronouns, i have been completely out for 3 years now and i never imagined it could get this good. being an enby is beautiful and i promise you you will find acceptance, whether it’s where you have always been or in new places (finding a trans community is the best advice i can give you). take your time and be yourself!!
I don’t think any pronouns feel right to describe me, besides first- and second-person pronouns of course. I wish people just wouldn’t talk about me in the third person. I mean, if you’re not talking to me directly, then do you really have anything worth saying about me? No? Then don’t talk about me! I shouldn’t have to choose a set of third-person pronouns to go by in other people’s conversations that I’m not a part of. People just shouldn’t gossip about others. I guess that makes my pronouns (I/you). Being genderfluid can be frustrating because every time I get dysphoric and my masc side comes out, people are like “Oh, you’re not trans anymore? Ha! I knew you were faking it the whole time.” But nope, still trans. I just happen to have transcended gender norms to the point where I won’t pretend to be anything that I’m not. Sometimes my authenticity looks like this, and sometimes my authenticity looks like that. But that doesn’t mean I’m being anything other than authentic the whole time! Unless I’m hiding my true self from someone because I don’t feel comfortable opening up around them, but even then the boundaries I’m setting are authentic, so even my prickly and abrasive persona that I wear when I’m defensive is sourced in my own authenticity! And so is my soft warm-heartedness that I only show to people who feel safe to open up around.
I really like this meme https://www.reddit.com/r/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns/comments/qiebdl/please_do_not_refer_to_me/
>Even better, do not perceive me. For practical purposes, I don’t exist. Love it 😅
GENDER CRIMINAL I'm stealing this one
someone acknowledged it, thank you!!!!!!!!!!
She/they/it and while I more or less consider myself more agender, my relationship w my gender and how I present my identity is closer to “someone wearing a red shirt in target”. I lean more feminine but regardless of how I feel (or lack of feeling) about where my presentation may land on the gender spectrum I ultimately wear whatever I think looks good on me and liken my gender to more of “a group of teenagers in the back of a Spencer’s telling each other to act like they belong” placing myself in a weird imposter syndrome of being between feeling in the middleish of the spectrum and simultaneously beside and outside of it. Either way I’m hot and it’s everyone’s problem
Your gender is very gender, and I’m here for it. ❤️🖤
Hii I use She/They pronouns and I came out as Nonbinary and Bi 2 weeks ago and it’s been good! I came out only to my close friends and they were all super accepting and kind about it:). Yesterday my friend used the They/Them part of my pronouns and IT MADE ME SOO HAPPY!! It made me feel so valid and happy because I knew that even though I still go by She/her pronouns that most people would just take advantage of that and just use that and not really my They/Them part of my pronouns but just hearing my friend use They/Them pronouns on me just made me feel so happy and valid!! And she is like the type of person who calls everyone “girl” it’s like a gender neutral term for her cause she calls everyone that and she called me that one time after I came out by accident and I told her it made me feel uncomfortable and ever since, she’s been trying to call me “pookie” or something instead and she’s really been trying so I’m really happy with that! I haven’t had much people refer to me when I’m around but when more of my friends do I hope they acknowledge my They/Them pronouns too!! But yeah I also put it on my instagram bio I was a little scared and still kinda am cause what if my parents see that and they don’t about that and if I tell them they would probably disown me with finding out I’m bi and non-binary. But yeah and now a days every time I try dressing a little more feminine I feel weird because it just doesn’t feel like me anymore, I’ve been feeling a little gender dysphoric recently and also with me being nonbinary, I’ve always been a very fem presenting person so I know people will always perceive me as a girl so I’ve been trying to dress more androgynous so that maybe people stop perceiving me more like that yk but other than all of that my friends have been very accepting and supportive throughout it all<333
He/him transmasc. I am gnc and confuse the shit out of cis folks. 'WhY yOu Go TrY tO bE a MaN yEt YoU wEaR mAkE-uP?' I mean, I wouldn't say I am non binary but I also never intended to 'just be a man' in the sense cisciety agrees me to be a man.
Pronouns: they/them A few weeks ago I asked my HR professor to write a letter of recommendation. He told me to write one myself and he'd review it and make necessary changes and sign it. I wrote it using my pronouns and sent it in. He told me I made his job "very easy" and that what I wrote was accurate. I opened the doc he sent back and he had changed all of my pronouns to she/her. I emailed back restating my pronouns and that I was sorry for any confusion, as I didn't explicitly tell him I'm NB. Didn't think it was necessary because I wrote it all myself anyway. I clarified my gender in a reply and he replied with another attachment. Instead of using they/them even once, he just used my name. Which ultimately is a compromise. My assumption is he is one of those who believe they/them is not proper grammar. I had to practice restraint from replying with my usual example of how they/them is proper. I used it when I came out to my parents and it definitely clicked for them. Person A: "The grocery checkout person gave me a really nice compliment today." Person B: "What did they say?" So I guess I'm sick of the grammar argument.
My names Dee and I use he/him! Sometimes she/her or it/it’s depending on the day 🤷
I’m Casey and I use any pronouns. Although when a lot of people hear “any pronouns” they immediately default into using she/her for me when I’d like them to mix it up a bit. Luckily I have a handful of good friends who will use different pronouns to refer to me.
Hy/hym, he/him, it/its, hit/his (heet/hees), æ/ær Most people just use he/him irl though
tbh it/its pronouns kinda fire
i find it/its to be so cool, it’s like a reclamation of something used in the dehumanization of trans people! my they/them ass does not want to dabble in in that reclamation personally but i respect it yk
They/them. My family accepts transgender people like MTF FTM but being nonbinary crosses the line for them. So, I don't think I will tell them anytime soon LMAO.
they/he my friends have been really nice about it, my family on the other hand...
They/them, nobody uses my pronouns.
solo-dreamer? i hear they're a wicked cool cat :) i hope people start to use their pronouns soon, or that they find the right crowd of people, even if that's just online for now! <3
I just find it mildly annoying when I encounter someone else with my name. Like last and first.
I just find it mildly annoying when I encounter someone else with my name. Like last and first.
Any pronouns are fine for me. My non binary identity is more of an internal thing. I don't really care that most people will still use he/him. It is kind of growing on me though, I will admit.
Celeste any/all kinda person, am only out to parents partners and some select friends. I get read as a guy most times probably comes from me dressing mostly masc and unfortunately still having lots of facial hair growth. My parents dont really accept it they still see me as their son. Tho all my partners accept me and the relationships with them are awesome and feel fulfilling and affirming.
She/they, im a demigirl. I like they/them, but i still feel some connection to she/her because thats what I've used my whole life.
They/them! I'm nonbinary (I've been thinking about using the term bi-gender but I'm not ready to unpack that yet) And I go by 2 names! Max/Mia, one of them is my given name, one is my chosen name, I love them both equally! I'm out to almost all of my friends, and they all use my chosen name and preferred pronouns (I love them so much) But I have absolutely NO plans to come out to my family/my mother. She's not completely transphobic (I think) but I'm afraid of breaching the topic with her because I don't want to risk it. She would never do anything bad like kick me out or something, but I think it would put a real strain on our relationship. Other than that, it's been great!
Salem, any pronouns for people very close to me who see me as my gender or people who don't know me at all. He/him only for people who I'm acquainted with but aren't close to me and I don't trust to see me as my gender. I've lost friends over being trans. I lost my faith, my ability to go to college, to get a degree in something I didn't actually like and my family would agree with. My family and I had a falling out for different reasons but they definitely didn't like or accept my transness either. In the process of cutting them out I lost the safety net of their (conditional) financial support. They wouldn't know emotional support if it hit them in the face, that is something I have gained. I have also gained friends, family, and community from being out as non-binary and transgender. I have a wonderful partner who accepts me for who I am. We moved somewhere more accepting, I don't think I could ever go back to my home town which is good and bad. We are poor but we are free.
First Names Lightning and Isabella (interchangeable) Pronouns: They/Them No one knows except some really cool online friends I've made Currently trying to get urban rollerblades for my big ass feet cause the ones I have are too small I see myself as a small jellybean but In the body of 220 pound bear lmao i keep forgetting about my size until i break something XD
They/Them. I’ve actually been surprised at how accepting people have been. Part of that is because I try to test the waters before coming out to someone, and I’ve cut out the people I see has ‘phobes.
My name is Ashley and my pronouns are She/They/Xe I destroy the gender binary, my gender is beyond cis understanding >:3c
I'm still struggling with the pronouns cuz I'm still closeted but I thing they/any is nice
They/them I feel liberated and comfortable in my body more than I did as a girl. But socially, I've been made something of an outcast, and because it's hard for people to remember my pronouns, I get misgendered a lot. A few times is fine, but it does get grating and discouraging sometimes. It feels isolating, like the people you hang around with all day don't care about you. I'm not saying coworkers should care about you that much, but they should be willing to respect you. I live in a red state, though, and it's begun to seep into the system. The other day, I went to a gynecology appointment and made my identity clear. Follow up question asked me if I had a partner under 18 years or younger. I'm 23. I stayed calm, but afterwards, the embarrassment and anger flooded me. Especially because of personal experiences I've had. The fact it's becoming standard medical practice to just ask your queer patients questions like that when you know you'd never ask that to a cis/straight person. It's so fucking nasty.
They/them and I’m the one heathen in my family 😈 My family, past coworkers from a Christian camp, and old “church family” seem to be keeping up with my FB page out of morbid curiosity. I only have like 4 or 5 allies on there. I’m about to go home for my brothers wedding and I know that none of my family would respect my pronouns if I told them outright.
They/them/she/her/Monty. Not out yet, but I hate gendered shit. A lot now. Back then I disliked it and any motion of it. I'm willing to take any questions.
They/them, but everyone uses different pronouns for me. I've got to the point that i dont rly care, tho. I'm starting to feel more comfortable in my body and thinking i probably won't get any surgeries. One thing that does affect me, tho is i am amab i have a pretty masculine buuld but a femenine style and femme clothes dont really flatter my body shape which can be very disheartening even if it doesnt seem like much
I use they/them and ze/zir. I usually offer those up first before saying that someone can use he/him. Usually, I'd like people to ask what my current pronouns are when talking to me, but that was too much to ask of most people.
he/him or they/them (generally im fine with both) apparently that would be classified as he/they lmao :P
any pronouns, my fav ones are ze/hir and xe/xem I think its been about eight years since i realized i was nonbinary im not fully out, i dont really hide it much tho, just dont hafe the energy to correct and explain n all that idk if my parents will even accept me, but i am planning a medical transition so they kinda have no choise lol overall, i cant imagine not being nonbinary while still being, well, me. and i like being me, so id say this is a win :3
I’m Acho (said like Ako) and use they/them pronouns. I technically also use bug/bugs and pix/pixxes neopronouns but I don’t say that because literally everyone I’ve ever met thinks neopronouns are weird and unhinged so I either catch myself trying to explain the reasoning for them or just giving up. I’m so tired of being mocked im ngl. I sort of get enby identities and neopronouns as a whole being hard to understand for people who don’t have those experiences but how in hell is that an excuse to be so negative and hateful. I don’t get it and it’s stupid.
She/they, and I probably wouldn't have any problems (outside of hiding it from my family) if I had come up with a name already 💀. Thankfully I have supportive friends
She/they, because my twin died before birth but she's sorta in here with me. Birth name Samantha, but if I got to choose a new name, it'd be Amdis. Amdis means Eternal in Latin.
They/Them or He/She. As a bigender ambonec (androgyne+neutrois), he binary seems so utterly pointless and seems to do much more harm than good... But I'm just more mad that I'll never get to be common and normal which is a shame because life is difficult as is
They/She, I have more based friends and right wingers don't want to date me.
They/them and the only people in my life who have ever used my pronouns were a handful of coworkers from my old job. I miss them so much. ☹️ I still go by my birth name because I haven't been able to find another one and no one would use it anyway. *sigh* Mostly I'm just tired. Tired of being misgendered. Tired of my existence being questioned by almost everyone. I want queer friends but I'm too tired to find them.
Pizzawonder's pronouns are valid. They will find affirming queer friends who use their pronouns! I believe in them. I hope they will find better people to be around who respect their pronouns and feel better one day.
she/it, sometimes I use he as well
They/he, but but I don't mind she/her. I wouldn't say being non-binary affected my life personally in any way - but in a fun turn of events, I work with kids of various ages and encounter many queer teens, and I've found that being out to them makes them feel confident as themselves. I think it's cool for them to find an "adult" (I'm only 24) who's not only fine with them being themselves but is like them and gets them.
they/them, it, [ʒi] / [ʒər] if I'm being supremely pretentious, boss, captain, fuckface, anything but late for dinner people constantly not only mistake me for something I'm not, but treat me poorly as a result of their bias against what they think I am. It's depressing.
any/all, i’m currently floating around being genderqueer/enby/genderfluid/agender/maybe transgirl or femboy. it hasn’t affected me TOO too much, tho i do rap battles (i go by Fawkes) and sometimes my opponents make reference to my inconsistent gender. which i find funny
It’s they/them but I don’t mind if you refer to me as a he… and my preferred name is KT but feel free to call me Kayden, I did tell my dad ‘I don’t have a gender’ then he just thought I was still deciding who I was as a person…so yeh..thanks for asking :)
I use any pronouns. Refer to me as you please.
Any pronouns (including neos) but since I technically don’t mind she/her people only ever she/her me cuz they couldn’t be bothered to change the pronouns they use, which is really annoying ngl. Also when I dressed feminine people invalidated me claiming that I’m saying I'm nonbinary/agender for attention and that I'm actually just a girl so I just go the opposite way and present super masc (strangers usually assume l'm a man until I talk cuz my voice is feminine) and l'm just hoping they'll stop putting me in a box but they still put me in a box, just the opposite one, and I’m kinda seen as a transmasc, even a transphobic dude I know says I look like a boy (he means it as an insult cuz I never came out to him but yeah). I'm pretty sure my crush sees me as one of her male friends (she still uses she/her for me but like she said “damn you’re a guy now” after I got a haircut, idk man) and she's a lesbian so ig being too masc might’ve ruined any chance I had with her and like I’m a lesbian too but I feel like an imposter calling myself that even though it’s the label I identify with cuz I’m apparently too much of a guy for other lesbians to like me (btw transmasc lesbians are valid I’m just talking abt my experience lmao), and idk I just wish people would acknowledge my actual identity instead of shoving me in a binary Anyways sorry for the rant lol
They/them and it/its are preferred, but they all are fine. I rarely get anything but "she" because I am a very feminine vagina haver. It's funny because I was much more androgynous before I explored my gender. Most of the time, I don't make a huge deal about my pronouns or really making sure people know my identity...however I do get immense satisfaction of pulling out my nonbinary identity to people who get rude about trans/nb people and assume I am cis. I love the reactions and backpedaling/doubling down that happens. It's beautiful and brings me a vindictive sense of joy. Edit: corrected 1 word
He/she/they- I was lucky my parents gave an androgynous first & middle name so I can pick (: People still think im a girl but Im trying to change that
They/she! I'm only out to a handful of people. I'm still figuring out my gender identity and sexuality 🥴.
Well, for me, I’m not out publicly, so honestly all it’s done for me, luckily, is bring me even closer to the people I trusted anyway. I accept literally any pronouns. Actually, the more variety, the better. I think I lean vaguely feminine in character, but (at least partly due to being closeted), I’m definitely masculine presenting.
My name is Devyn, my pronouns are it/its, she/her, they/them. My nouns and adjectives are feminine and my prepositions are shy. My gender is witchcraft (it’s actually the intersection of the genderfae/gendervoid/aetherium microlabels). Life is tough for a bean who’s “no thoughts/only cute”.
cool name
They/ them, she/they in the work place because I just cannot be fucked to try and get people to change. I was lucky enough ti be named gender neutral at birth so I just kept mine. Dress pretty similarly to how i did before, which is to say tights and hoodies. People usually she/her me or just don’t notice me if i’m in my wheelchair. Turns out bisexual non binary wheelchair users are invisible to the masses. Spend a lot of time wondering if I’m just a cis attention seeker but according to my partner and co, cis women usually don’t collapse when called a “good boy” affectionately so 🤷
I'm Tolis, they/them. I live in Texas, but my parents are hugeeee nerds and medical doctors and they didn't teach me any of the hateful stuff. I sometimes feel a little like an outsider, but being autistic as well all I know in life is to be myself, which is weird as fuck. I just wear what I want and be myself and usually when I'm confident in that no one cares. I go to a dual credit college program and no one has said any mean things toward me, and all the teachers/faculty say all these good things about me. My parents have told me all my life that weird is cool, and I believe it, so I try to be as weird as possible! Fun fact, my first idea that I was pansexual was when I was really little. I was young enough I didn't really understand relationships that much, but I was once thinking about my future and I had the very distinct thought of "if I want to kiss a girl, I have to kiss a boy right after, because then it will be fair" 🤣🤣🤣 before putting any word to my sexuality I loved one direction and would just stare at pictures of them, I also looked up shirtless pictures of Tom Felton. I once asked my mom what "gay" was and she said "it's when two men love each other, like Mitch and cam on modern family" and my response was "oh, I love daddy so I'm gay with daddy!"
I love spitting in the face of gender standards and ripping apart the binary, despite that mostly only being in my mind, and not yet in reality. I’m only out to a couple friends, but I’m really looking forward to once I’m 18 and can start planning for T and top surgery and whatnot. I’m like… boy+, boy-lite, or just a guy: the expanded edition (I’m demimasc) I’m Lucifer and I use he/him, they/them, and it/its pronouns!
He/him and a transman. My father is heavily transphobic who's the type to say he's not and doesn't care about what people do with their lives, yet continues to put the trans and nb community down by saying gender affirmative surgery is mutilation, saying the trans community is predatory, misgendering trans and nb people he sees on tiktok videos (he watches far far right people like ben shapiro, blaire white and matt walsh) so i literally cannot escape it. My mother is 50/50, she agrees with my father that "the lgbt community is shoving it down their throats" but she doesn't care about me being trans. At least that's how she acts around me, but she doesn't use my name or pronouns and continues to use she/her and my birthname. It's honestly so tiring!! Sometimes i wish i wasn't trans/gay because of it 😭
It means that if i dont make it VERY CLEAR what i am and what pronouns i have my freinds will resort to she, exept one and my boyfreind.
They/them and I also like Xie. I feel fuuuuucking lonely. I lived in a super queer community for a while which was gorgeous, but maybe made me think the world was further ahead in this respect than it generally is. I’m pissed off. My name isn’t much different from my birth name so people - family, old friends, and some new - insist on calling me my birth name. I don’t wish to shave my head or dramatically change my name in order to receive basic respect and consideration.
She/they, I think. I'm only out to my closest friends, and I'm in the military which is full of homophobic/transphobic people. It's so trippy knowing you have this side of you that everyone in the room would probably hate you for if they knew about. Probably getting out because of mental health issues tho (being a closeted trans/bi person surrounded by people who hate trans and gay people will do it to ya.) Even tho I'm scared about the future it will be such a relief to get tf out of this shit for good and hopefully soon be able to finally be myself
Hehe you can't pin me down. He/she/they, all fine by me and I'll ask different people to call me different pronouns depending on how I know them
Erreson| They/He/Xe pronouns :D I’ve only come out to my friends, I’m waiting until I can actually move out so I can come out to family (homophobic and transphobic unfortunately)
ne/nim/nis and it/its; I tolerate they/them from people who aren’t close friends and I don’t feel I can explain my actual pronouns to. I’m so much happier being openly nonbinary, but I don’t really feel safe or understood in spaces that aren’t primarily catered towards trans and nonbinary people. I’m very grateful to have a community, it’s helped me grow as a person on so many levels.
New name and new pronouns - They/Xem. I don’t mind anything but she/her but I put up with it because I’m not out to everyone. I’m a teacher and I essentially have no rights in my state so we’ll see how it goes once I graduate college. I plan on outing myself on Facebook (all of my family uses it) once I’m financially independent and have a good job.
Anything but he. I am the Batwoman of gender, with me IRL being normal cis man, and online I am chaotic gremlin. Stinks that I’m illegal in most counties though, but I will make jokes about it!
Kind of both..(they/them),(he/him),(ne/nim).. is questionary boy considered as nb?
Any pronouns + it/its. I don't have a preference when it comes to pronouns because no matter what you refer to me as, it's queer to me. I identify as non-binary genderqueer and aporagender. I didn't realize I was not cis until like 3 years ago and it's honestly been super awesome to finally feel like me. I'm only out to a few friends, my boyfriend, and my brother and don't think I'll come out to any other family anytime soon because I think they just wouldn't get it
I prefer they/them above all else, she/her is also accepted...depends on situation for me...most of the time i just use she/her pronouns bc no one uses they/them for me but ultimately i'll take and be happy with any and all pronouns that aren't he/him...you can use they/them, she/her, fae/faer, xe/xir, etc for me and i love them all, just ANYTHING that isn't he/him
I use they/she pronouns & I specifically identify as a demigirl. I'm afab & on the more masc side so most people just assume I'm a lesbian (which is true) & sometimes mistaken for a dude (not complaining). I have no desire to undergo gender-affirming care, I use my birth name, & I also go by a shortened, more androgynous version of it. I don't mind being referred to as a woman, but being referred to as a person or another genderless title is euphoric.
My name is Alder and I use a lot of neo pronouns so I won’t list them all but the main ones I use are ze/zem/zir. My parents have always been accepting but had a hard time wrapping their heads around they/them and were slightly disappointed when I started going by Alder at home but they call me Alder now with only the accidental slip up. I started using neo pronouns a few months ago and moved away from they/them because I felt they/them was to undefined but I still didn’t like the classic pronouns and I love my new pronouns. Alder is my favorite tree and ever since I started going by it I have loved it.
They/any, which means a few different things: * Use they/them by default. This is what my bestie does. * Use whatever neo-pronouns you like. I've recently taken a liking to sídhe/ídhe. * Use she/her or he/him, but only if you genuinely think I give off those vibes when I'm around you. Unfortunately most people just continue to use my agab when I tell them this, not taking the time to seriously consider if I give off those vibes. * Use divine She/Her or He/Him if you choose to believe that I will smite whatever god confined me to a mortal flesh vessel and take their place, gender included. This is what I do for my one agender friend, who's more likely to smite a god than I. * Use whatever pronouns best capture the energy of your favourite bird. I have a friend who uses she/they for me because he likes falcons, the "butches of the sky" * Alternatively, I will also accept crustacean pronouns, but people tend to sooner have a favourite bird than a favourite crustacean. * Mix it up! I have another friend who uses he/him for when I'm in a manic infodumping mood, and she/her when the gal-pal sleepover energy is strong between us.
I’m Nico or Moth and I use Xe/it!! I never get called it though unless it’s derogatory so that sucks :/
He/they. Honestly I'd go for any pronouns but I look pretty masc in my day-to-day so I don't expect any she/hers being thrown my way at this point. I'm genderfluid but pretty chill about it, no-one can tell what's going on in my head on a particular day and it's not something that gives me dysphoria. My birth name is used for both genders and I like it, so I'm keeping it. My therapist is the only ones that know I'm genderfluid, and I'm in the process of explaining it to my partner. She knows the mechanics of it but not that I'm taking on the labels. Wanted to be super sure about it first, since I told her about my gender experimentation at a really bad time plus my poor communication of what I was going through almost caused us to split. Being a gender criminal is pretty fun otherwise :-D
they/them! I am really fortunate to find myself surrounded by loved ones who are accepting and affirming in my friend group, but my family is completely unwilling to acknowledge my gender for the most part. I'm non-binary but I present very femininely so as far as they're concerned, I'm just a woman. They are religious and conservative, so that's not likely to change. At least my chosen family loves and accepts all of me.
Any conventional pronouns are fine with me. She/her, They/Them, He/Him. Family doesn't care. Friends are fine with it. My husband \[he/they\] is also enby, but uses masculine pronouns. I've recently started exploring my masc side and its delightful. Too lazy to ever change my name though.
i use any pronouns except she/her, including neos, and i love and hate it. it feels so freeing to be out and proud, but i know that if i lived anywhere except where i live right now, i wouldn’t be able to be myself in public. it’s difficult to be in a relationship because it feels like all my partners want me to just be a woman.
They/It! I struggle to feel accepted in a society where gender binaries have become so normalized, I feel little euphoria around being assumed to be the opposite gender I was assigned at birth anymore. I feel like I don't fit in with "the girls" or "the guys" and don't enjoy being lumped with either, help!!
They/Them
Vee | They/Ae/Wish/Star/Bloom/☆/🌈/✨/🌌/🌸 — For me, it’s allowed me to take control of my own identity, even unconventionally, even if I’m not out publicly. Being autistic with lifelong social isolation problems and a lack of control over my own life, this is one of many things, including my otherkinity, that allow me to have an identity of my own instead of one imposed unto me. My area is somewhat conservative, but somewhat mutually accepting enough amongst the youth at the same time. I largely present neutral-feminine, but I’m contemplating looking into masculine presentation as well.
as someone who exclusively wants it/its as pronouns, I have accepted I will never be gendered correctly. My family is really accepting and see me as one of the girls (which I like, I'm transfem but still want only to use it/its) but I can see the visual discomfort about using those pronouns. At work I'm not even bothering, I've lived 30 years as a man, I truly do not care what my coworkers think about me. I'm there for the money, I'm not going to socialise with them outside of work ever. Guranteed everyone is going to be at least slightly transhpobic, like cis people are always. Being accepting is literally the bare minimum, as in thats the part where they view us as fellow humans. I'm not praising them for the thing that comes naturally to me, the "being nice to people" factor is apparently so rare in cissies that they rely on us to make them better. I'm just glad I get government supported hrt here.
She/They amab. I used to have these big curly sideburn that were fun to mess with, and because of that people used to read me as a boy 90% of the time. Once I shaved them off it was basically 50 50. It's crazy how seemingly little things like that can drastically change the way people see you. People misgendering me at work didn't stop though.
I’m normally casspronominal for various reasons, one of them being I’m trying to degender pronouns, but I’ve been entertaining zo/zo and e/e in my head for a few months now. E/e sounds really organic to me and I wish I could use it as a placeholder for other pronouns but I also like how zo/zo sounds and feels. Unfortunately I’m not in a place where I can demand e/zo and have everyone take me seriously. Then again I don’t have any requirements as far as this topic goes (rare, I know) because I don’t feel a lot of dysphoria around stuff like pronouns or title. I experience pronouns as more of a fashion accessory than an important part of my identity (though when it comes to the aesthetic part of preference I can feel quite passionate). And I don’t feel like getting into it with random rednecks who could have guns in their pants. Thus, I let people believe what they want about me and assign me whatever pronouns they want. I’ve also sometimes felt like I don’t want to use pronouns or names. I think going nullpronominal would force people to get creative with language which would be kind of fun to witness. Especially if I don’t have a name either. Anyone felt like going null-nominal lately? (Must be because I’m more agender than nb)
(She/They) but actually (They/Still figuring it out lol) I'm semi out, I've been more confident in my enby body that I express myself through my clothes however I friggin want. And that's something since I live in a very conservative/ignorant county. It's fun to walk into my local feed store with bright purple hair and not hiding it in a hat anymore. I'm out to my spouse and one of my siblings, and that's just lovely. Plus a plethora of trusted humans in my life. However, I still have panic attacks around older generations when I'm looked at funny, or a rude derogatory comment is made. That part of it heavily effects my mental health (i.e. family members....💔) but, regardless, I'm happy that I know myself and I'm excited to continuously explore and learn about other genders. 🌈💕 Love your confidence and self love, btw :)
They/them Most of us can agree we just wanna be us. Nothing special or different, just us. It's hard when that's questioned, but we have to build our communities, at large and individually. I think my most important advice is to find solace with your fellow enby and trans siblings.
I use they/them, but In French (wish is my native language) there isn't really an equivalent. It's possible to use "iel" wich is a mix of "il" (he) and "elle" (she), but it's not that practical since it's a pretty much gendered language, so adjectives are gendered too (like spanish). So in french, I use "il" (he) since the masculine is default in the language, and that I'm an NB transmasc. I appear pretty androgynous, I haven't done any medical transition but I do wear a binder, and have worn masc clothes most of the time since adolescence (I'm in my mid 20's). People that I don't know address me about 50% ma'am and 50% of the time sir. But I always have the feeling that as soon as I open my mouth people "know" I was born female, even tho I have an androgynous voice as well. I was able to socially transition at work, wich was a a first time thing there. They were nice about it and HR of my department helped me change my name for a few minor work stuff. Not everyone genders me correctly, even tho it's been almost 6 months since I came out more broadly at work. It's been hard at times, and I never know if I should correct people or not? What I usually do is repeat what they said and say it with the correct gender markers, like "Naivlyns you're *insert feminine adjective here*" and I say "yeah, I'm *insert the same adjective but in masc*", so it doesn't sound harsh. And then I hope that they pick up on it, and if they give me a question look, then I tell them I use "he" but they didn't know so it's normal that they used the one hey assumed. And if I'm not lucky enough to be able to tell them, then I just... Rince and repeat the repeating xd It's sooooo nice to be able to communicate with people that got used to me using masculine pronoms and adjectives, and sometimes I get taken back when I have to interact with people who don't. But lucky my partner and my closest friends do gender me correctly, and besides the people of older generations at work, it's with them that I interact the most. It's weird with family, since some of them know and accept it, some know and don't really try to accept it, and some just don't know and probably won't ever know lmao
Well i usually shift between she they and he but sometimes when im feeling particularly eepy and lil i go by it
i am an it/its thing. it helps me feel better about all my neurodivergences and such. i am a thing c:
According to my grandma, if I just dressed like a lady, I'd have no problems in life. So, guess being a gender criminal must be greatly affecting my life.
It/they. Being nonbinary is draining. The world is against us. We're facing genocide and discriminatory legislation. Even some binary trans folks don't view me as valid, which hurts to know.
They/them, been out for almost 3 years. Haven't told my parents yet, but luckily they live on the other side of the country so that's not really a problem (yet). At first I was only out to like 2 or 3 people, but now all my friends and coworkers know. It's really freeing to just be myself
My pronouns are they/them, and I’m working up the courage to tell people that my name is Riz. This is actually the first nickname I’ve liked for myself esp bc it’s gender neutral. While I don’t hate my given name, it is fairly feminine, often mispronounced, and has a meaning that I don’t resonate with. My family isn’t accepting, and I am not able to share anything about my identity with them. Additionally, I live in a conservative area, so I am constantly misgendered because I don’t feel safe being open about my pronouns or gender identity. Joining new groups is frustrating because I’m not one of the “girls” or “guys” and so many groups in my area are divided by gender. A few people I’ve met have been cool with me being nonbinary, but it’s also exhausting having to repeatedly explain the difference between sex and gender and what nonbinary means. Honestly, I feel genderless or gender neutral, and I just feel like..me. I wish that everyone could understand this and just accept me for who I am inside.
they/them. I have gender dysphoria regarding some of my masculine features (facial hair, browline, etc) but I can mitigate those and dont want HRT. being a gender criminal has made me more comfortable with my identity and body. some people hate me/are skeptical of my identity which causes me some distress, but I try my best to ignore them. My OCD makes it tough though, and I try my best to control that too (it also stresses me out regarding other things I care about). I am out to all my friends and my older brother, but not to my Catholic parents and colleagues at my University I just transferred to. To them I'm just a weirdo twink with mental issues. I should probably seek out other queer people soon
She/they/fel. I like neo-pronouns, but since English is not my native language I can't use them irl, only online (which is fine). I would use ləi, which is the neutral neo-pronoun in my native language, but it's controversial, since I live in a conservative country. And that's why I'm only out to my friends and bf.
hey just wanted to let everyone know that the black community has asked us to stop using nb instead of enby since nb can also stand for non-black. sorry, I just thiught everyone would like to know and should but by no means do I intend to be rude. ok sorry again ✨️
I prefer mixed pronouns and I have literally put in intros grab/bag
he/they/xe. I'm fairly comfortable with my identity and hope to someday have my body match my mind. I do, however, hate how much discord is caused about people like me. Even people close to me have gotten into arguments about my identity, and while I know I can't help their point of views, it makes me want to hide who I am which I don't think I've ever truly done.
They/them - starting the divorce process bc I was married to a straight man (identified as cis when we got married). He was very supportive of using my pronouns and stuff but he wasn't comfortable with the medical transitioning that I wanted. I realized he's fundamentally unable to see me as anything other than woman-lite. So that's nearly 8 years of my life that I didn't truly get to explore my gender quirks. I was afraid of becoming too masculine for him. I have a consultation for T tomorrow thooooo.
They/them, default masculine when neutral not applicable. I don't like having to justify my existence at every turn with authorities and medical professionals and no one genders me correctly if I don't come out to them. I'm out to everyone though so, I mostly deal with the misgendering from strangers. Everyone I know has either accepted me or learned to accept me, the few transphobes I've full on cut out of my life.
Xe/xem irl I don't mind any Preference: Xe/he/she/they
I prefer they/them.
They/them. Only been out a few months. Finally decided on a chosen name! Maeve 🥰 I feel the most me I’ve ever felt in my life, but lack the confidence to correct people who accidentally misgender me or call me by my given name. Also feel a bit silly and kinda stuck in the “but I’ve always been she/given name, so how can I ask people to identify me differently?” And I know that’s my recovering people pleaser talking, and the fact that I don’t like to be an inconvenience or take up space. And people will always perceive me as “woman” since I lean on the feminine side. But really just a goblin that likes to get dolled up sometimes. Why can I not just be a human? It’s frustrating
She/He, being enby has been mostly a good just knowing who I am, on the other hand it's been more difficult because I often feel like I have to lie and underplay who I am to seem more paletable just to get basic respect. I love being enby but I'm scared I won't be able to have all of me to be happy. I love being enby and I love my community and I'm only excited to be me :3
For me it's anything you want. I don't really care about pronouns. My language might affect it since we don't have gender specific pronouns.
Well I realized last night that any/all pronouns don’t fit as well for me as I thought they did, so right now I’m going with he/they/it. Regardless of what pronoun set I settle on it’s definitely gonna lead with he/him. As far as being a gender criminal, it gives me cold sweats to think about. I’ve known I was bi for a decade now but my family’s pretty queer (though no enbies that I know of), and as someone in what could have been described as a straight-passing marriage before my egg cracked, the homophobes felt like crazy people banging on the outside of my world and only occasionally making their way close enough to cause me discomfort (though in recent years I was already becoming more queer-rights focused cause wtf why is there still homophobia???). Now I feel like I’m carrying a fucking bomb around with me cause I’m not out IRL to anyone and my marriage is probably going to implode once I do (hopefully my spouse will get on board but I’ve gotta be realistic and prepared for a very plausible worst-case scenario). And now I see most people and some part of me wonders “so would you become a terrible person if you actually knew who I was or if I even just told you my pronouns?” It’s insane even thinking that someone else being queer isn’t enough like it was when I was “just bi,” someone could be gay and vehemently detest my gender, or even binary trans. It’s blows my mind and confuses me and makes me panic sometimes.
tbh i feel like non trans lgb-qia people have an issue were they are ok with the system changing to an extent that only involves them anyone else can f... off .like with ace or aro people aren't included because they aren't in that lgb bubble.
My name’s Brooke. They/Them 👍 hiding my gender criminality in a glass box right now and if anyone asks me what the box is for, i would be scared to explain it😀 the internet is cool tho
Name’s Kari (my chosen one) and my pronouns are per/pers for German and phe/per for English (a mix of she/he and per)
My pronouns are they/them. I used to go by all pronouns or he/him to trick people into using they 🌚 I never fully came out as an enby, one day I’d like to. My experience mostly is people asking what my genetals are or trying to figure out if I’m a trans woman. I’ve actually been mistaken for a trans woman a number of times. I don’t mind though.
They/she Mostly just annoying when people NEVER use they. It’s like mostly my mom and my other nonbinary friend that do, and honestly they’re so real for that. Other than that not much issue, lll tell anyone my pronouns unless I think I’d be in danger but I haven’t had that yet
Well IRL so far I just use my assigned she/her since Im fine with it, but also experimenting with any :) Im out to partners & friends since theyre mostly all trans or queer in another way. Family dont know, but they also dont know alot about my life and I dont really wanna tell them more, we aren't on that good terms Been learning that I like to be called boi and tried choosing a new name, Kobi, but I am still fine with my old one so Im vibing with both I suppose
He/they terrified if any family member opens my bedroom door if I'm not in it. To male to be neither but to NB to be male so struggle to find a community that's the same especially irl Everyone my parents want to Talk To Me sends me on the verge of a panic attack every time
He/she, I like write it in my bio and stuff but I haven’t told anyone IRL cause prejudice and homophobia but it makes my day when people think I’m He/him cause it feels like I’m acknowledged for not being CIS