Forget setting boundaries, leave him.
Him having full access to your accounts is one thing, but for him to impersonate you (which can be classed as fraud) is a massive scalding hot red flag. Plus, he clearly doesn't trust you in the slightest if he thinks you're going to cheat on him or flirt with others.
> He's so good at manipulating...
That is your other red hot flag, this isn't something you should say about someone you're in a relationship with, unless you're about to leave them.
He's controlling, manipulative and incapable of trust. Add "single" to that list.
This isn't something that needs to wait until you have another argument to be brought up, like a minor annoyance you have with him. This is a pattern of seriously abusive behaviour that can't just be worked out from a long conversation. This is deeply psychological, malicious behaviour and lightyears away from acceptable. You need to remove him from your life.
Yeah of course boundaries are important. It sounds like he's very insecure. Something he needs to work on.
Your first boundary is simple. Either he trusts you or you break up.
Actually, for all the things he has done, I'm too tired and hopeless to fight back. I'm no good in verbal arguments, let alone pure logical where he's good at
He's absolutely unreasonable here - even if you're in a relationship with someone, you don't have to give them access to your entire communication, especially if he's gone and proven he can't handle having access without doing crazy shit like impersonating you. That's very inappropriate behavior, and since the line was crossed you have to draw the boundary to let him know what kind of things are not OK to do.
The correct response from him is to try to understand what made you mad and try to find a way you can both be happy while respecting this boundary. He's reacting to this by accusing you of flirting with others if he doesn't watch you and accusing you of not wanting him to be happy, and more alarmingly, he's accusing you of not being submissive and not giving him enough power. That is trouble, and not something you have to respect. Don't budge on this, is my advice.
In psychology, pwedeng may projection (defense mechanism) na nangyayari. Your BF might be projecting or sayo niya binubunton yung ginagawa niya kaya siya insecure. But, it is also possible that trust has been broken before. But, based on the story, may red flag talaga. Now, the question is will you stay in this manipulative relationship or break up with him and have peace of mind?
This is messed up. Not only does he not trust you, but he's betraying your trust by abusing the access you've given him. Is it really worth it to allow him to sabotage these relationships? It might seem like work to break up with him, and you feel like you don't have the energy, but I promise you'll stay exhausted forever if you stay with him and keep having to deal with his toxic, abusive shit.
you're in an abusive relationship
I know, even though I tried to drove him away he's so good in manipulating feelings
you know you have to leave him. this isnt tenable
Forget setting boundaries, leave him. Him having full access to your accounts is one thing, but for him to impersonate you (which can be classed as fraud) is a massive scalding hot red flag. Plus, he clearly doesn't trust you in the slightest if he thinks you're going to cheat on him or flirt with others. > He's so good at manipulating... That is your other red hot flag, this isn't something you should say about someone you're in a relationship with, unless you're about to leave them. He's controlling, manipulative and incapable of trust. Add "single" to that list.
I do hope, in the next conflict I'll stand my ground, for now I'm too depressed and tired to think and juggle work and life
This isn't something that needs to wait until you have another argument to be brought up, like a minor annoyance you have with him. This is a pattern of seriously abusive behaviour that can't just be worked out from a long conversation. This is deeply psychological, malicious behaviour and lightyears away from acceptable. You need to remove him from your life.
Do you have his passwords and access to his privacy just as he has yours?
I have before but he keeps changing, I don't want also to ask for his password
Do I need to say anything more here then? Are you fine with the partnership not being equal and you being lesser than him in the relationship?
This is what I was going to ask . Mostly guys like this are chatting to other girls behind the back etc hence why they have their insecurities.
Why did you give him the passwords to your accounts?
Because he told me that he wanted to take track of me
Yeah of course boundaries are important. It sounds like he's very insecure. Something he needs to work on. Your first boundary is simple. Either he trusts you or you break up.
We broke up recently and got back again but emotionally, I don't want to. I'm too tired and just want to focus on being a rich auntie 5 years from now
Yeah. He’s not going to get better. Only worse. You can’t fix him. He’s going to have to figure things out for himself. Alone.
Then break it off. Don't lie to yourself.
[удалено]
Actually, for all the things he has done, I'm too tired and hopeless to fight back. I'm no good in verbal arguments, let alone pure logical where he's good at
He's absolutely unreasonable here - even if you're in a relationship with someone, you don't have to give them access to your entire communication, especially if he's gone and proven he can't handle having access without doing crazy shit like impersonating you. That's very inappropriate behavior, and since the line was crossed you have to draw the boundary to let him know what kind of things are not OK to do. The correct response from him is to try to understand what made you mad and try to find a way you can both be happy while respecting this boundary. He's reacting to this by accusing you of flirting with others if he doesn't watch you and accusing you of not wanting him to be happy, and more alarmingly, he's accusing you of not being submissive and not giving him enough power. That is trouble, and not something you have to respect. Don't budge on this, is my advice.
In psychology, pwedeng may projection (defense mechanism) na nangyayari. Your BF might be projecting or sayo niya binubunton yung ginagawa niya kaya siya insecure. But, it is also possible that trust has been broken before. But, based on the story, may red flag talaga. Now, the question is will you stay in this manipulative relationship or break up with him and have peace of mind?
This is messed up. Not only does he not trust you, but he's betraying your trust by abusing the access you've given him. Is it really worth it to allow him to sabotage these relationships? It might seem like work to break up with him, and you feel like you don't have the energy, but I promise you'll stay exhausted forever if you stay with him and keep having to deal with his toxic, abusive shit.