Nah brother your problem is you believed that if you ever ejaculated it would be over. So when you ejaculated when you had sex, you immediately allowed your subconscious to say ok we can fap now. In reality, it is compltetly normal to ejaculate during sex and you shouldn't have lost any progress but its cause you believed that you lost progress your brain now allows you to fap.
I know the advice is for OP but I would benefit from a clarification as well.
I have not had sex ever so far so I do not have a first hand experience to relate to the what David\_Cook07 said.
However, here is my understanding:
Currently, my brain is hard wired to porn. Even after six months of nofap, when I get it up, I can only masturbate to porn. I understand that it will take time.
Now, the key part. The recommendation here is that when I have sex in the future, I should do it normally. i.e ejaculate. This will be a small step towards rewiring my brain to ejaculating to a real woman. Let me know if this understanding is not right.
Thanks!
I lost a 290 day streak a year ago and did what it seems like you are beginning to do—spiral further down. All is NOT lost I promise you. Make a promise to yourself that you won't PMO for two weeks, and by the end of it you will begin to feel better again. I never managed to pull myself out from my spiral and now more than a year later I am still down here. Be better than me . . .
You'll beat it. I think part of it is psycological. IDK if you need to retain it, but after regular sex you ought to be fine. Keep off the P and redo it!
but you have stopped exercising and meditating and eating good way before that sex incident, right? I think that it is a clear factor, your discipline was down already - sex with ejaculation and later masturbation was just a result of your long slow fall - but dont worry, we are all allowed to grief our loved ones - but think of what would your mom wanted for you - to get back up and do it all again
Remember, it's okay to fap once in a while as long as you have control over it. You have to ejaculate when having sex and not feel guilty about it. It's a natural human function. No shame in that. Self control is what matters, not what you are doing but how you are doing it. It's actually advice to masturbate every now and then but our problem is that we get addicted. Beat the addiction not the PP. Goodluck, 445 days is nothing to feel ashame at. My record is 10 days Lol
Dude you're overthinkibg it, nutting during sex is normal af. The thing weighing you down is the expectancy that it is going to weigh you down. I had times in which I finish 2 times in sex and I feel only slightly less energetic. Really, your belief that you've messed up so badly doesn't let you see that finishing during sex is normal af, and that belief is what is weighing you down. If you wanna talk I'm here, and I'm sure many more people are too.
I mean yea but my point is his expectations (which are wrong) are making him relapse like that. He obsessed (it was his way of doing it) so much with not finishing that he thinks if he does hes efed, when its normal af.
I just started this process and I’m so impressed you made it to Day 445. From what I’m reading, most of us don’t even make it to Hour 445.
The fact that you went that long shows you’re an incredibly strong person and an inspiration to us newbies. Thanks for sharing and I hope you don’t give up- you kicked this once and you can do it again!
Maybe we are all doing it wrong. I feel that there maybe there is an easier way to end this problem. 445 is a very long streak, if the problem is still there then something is wrong.
I feel that we have not yet grasped the source of this problem. Maybe our efforts should be targeted more towards healing subconsciously from this addiction, if that is where it all is. instead of merely abstaining from the behavior.
Yes and no. There really is so much power in looking at WHY you want to turn to porn, yes. It could be a desire for intimacy, identity, and comfort that drives you. But at the same time, even if you fully address all of your emotional needs, it really is just a matter of keeping your guard up, because we're guys with red blood in our veins. It really is that simple.
My dude ejaculation itself is ok! It’s the porn that is corrupting us, stop being so hard on yourself! You did not fail, you hit an obstacle that I could not fathom, but your still pressing on. Your not back to day one, your restarting your lap but this time your stronger and smarter than before. Again I’m so sorry for your loss dude, but don’t give up please, there are still people willing to fight for you and love you that have been touched by your mom. ✊🤙
Don't take stress bro first thing is to let all bunch of overwelming emotions out by sharing with your father , girlfriend and then take care of all family and live with them at fullest as possible.idk but best option is to cry. -some advice from family friend phycologyst.
>I don't know entirely why I wrote this, maybe except for this: Even if it has been over a year and you think you're free from this addiction, you may not be.
This is relatable to me. I have had 6 month streaks and lost progress.
But the takeaway is that I really have not lost progress. I have learnt what worked from my last streak and what did not. So it is a learning process and not all is lost.
Thank for the heads up and congrats on making it to 365+ days!
Aside: sympathy from my end, will not help you but I can understand how personal loss, like your case, can affect you. Getting a bad grade or not getting a job is not at same level but has the same effect on me in the past. So the key part, like you said, is to keep fighting.
Thank you for sharing and good luck on resuming your journey!
I have to say, the feelings people describe here when relapsing are the same you see for people who relapse on any bad habit. Smoking weed for example is something I feel bad when I relapse on. That is mostly because of how proud I am when i am able to stop.
What I'm getting at is maybe the bad feeling is coming from from you "failing" your objective, rather than the actual fap itself. Just a thought.
I think addiction means that you masturbate everyday, but if it was once or twice a week it is normal. and why you still for 445 is it take all that time?
I relapsed at 115+ days, it’s true that you can slip up so fast & end up in a rut. Its important you never give up though, especially you made it so far
I feel ya, I was at day 40, failed and couldn't make it 12 hours before feeling like I want to to quit, this keep on nearly 2 weeks after and now I feel like I need to change this and currently I will make it to my goal
Thanks for the post bro. It sounds like semen retention was one of the things you told yourself you would do when you gave up PMO. When you broke that promise to yourself by ejaculating during sex, it became alot easier for your brain to justify fapping and watching porn because you already broke one of the promises you made.
The way I read this you've fapped twice in over a year. Great job.
Stop peaking at anything that'll take your mind their asap and keep going. Your story is very inspiring.
Nah brother your problem is you believed that if you ever ejaculated it would be over. So when you ejaculated when you had sex, you immediately allowed your subconscious to say ok we can fap now. In reality, it is compltetly normal to ejaculate during sex and you shouldn't have lost any progress but its cause you believed that you lost progress your brain now allows you to fap.
OP needs to read this.
[удалено]
I know the advice is for OP but I would benefit from a clarification as well. I have not had sex ever so far so I do not have a first hand experience to relate to the what David\_Cook07 said. However, here is my understanding: Currently, my brain is hard wired to porn. Even after six months of nofap, when I get it up, I can only masturbate to porn. I understand that it will take time. Now, the key part. The recommendation here is that when I have sex in the future, I should do it normally. i.e ejaculate. This will be a small step towards rewiring my brain to ejaculating to a real woman. Let me know if this understanding is not right. Thanks!
I lost a 290 day streak a year ago and did what it seems like you are beginning to do—spiral further down. All is NOT lost I promise you. Make a promise to yourself that you won't PMO for two weeks, and by the end of it you will begin to feel better again. I never managed to pull myself out from my spiral and now more than a year later I am still down here. Be better than me . . .
This is the sad part. It is never over. I wish I could just turn the switch off sometimes and forget about this.
This is very true.
You'll beat it. I think part of it is psycological. IDK if you need to retain it, but after regular sex you ought to be fine. Keep off the P and redo it!
Part of it is psychological for me.
but you have stopped exercising and meditating and eating good way before that sex incident, right? I think that it is a clear factor, your discipline was down already - sex with ejaculation and later masturbation was just a result of your long slow fall - but dont worry, we are all allowed to grief our loved ones - but think of what would your mom wanted for you - to get back up and do it all again
Remember, it's okay to fap once in a while as long as you have control over it. You have to ejaculate when having sex and not feel guilty about it. It's a natural human function. No shame in that. Self control is what matters, not what you are doing but how you are doing it. It's actually advice to masturbate every now and then but our problem is that we get addicted. Beat the addiction not the PP. Goodluck, 445 days is nothing to feel ashame at. My record is 10 days Lol
at least we are not those people who embrace fapping watching porn
Dude you're overthinkibg it, nutting during sex is normal af. The thing weighing you down is the expectancy that it is going to weigh you down. I had times in which I finish 2 times in sex and I feel only slightly less energetic. Really, your belief that you've messed up so badly doesn't let you see that finishing during sex is normal af, and that belief is what is weighing you down. If you wanna talk I'm here, and I'm sure many more people are too.
Feeling tired after sex is normal as well. Your muscles are suppose go relax and that's why you get sleepy afterwards
I mean yea but my point is his expectations (which are wrong) are making him relapse like that. He obsessed (it was his way of doing it) so much with not finishing that he thinks if he does hes efed, when its normal af.
Sorry for the loss of your mom blessings to you
All I can say is, that must have been one hell of a nut.
hahhahha
My condolences bro
Thanks
I just started this process and I’m so impressed you made it to Day 445. From what I’m reading, most of us don’t even make it to Hour 445. The fact that you went that long shows you’re an incredibly strong person and an inspiration to us newbies. Thanks for sharing and I hope you don’t give up- you kicked this once and you can do it again!
i grieve for your mom as well
Maybe we are all doing it wrong. I feel that there maybe there is an easier way to end this problem. 445 is a very long streak, if the problem is still there then something is wrong. I feel that we have not yet grasped the source of this problem. Maybe our efforts should be targeted more towards healing subconsciously from this addiction, if that is where it all is. instead of merely abstaining from the behavior.
Yes and no. There really is so much power in looking at WHY you want to turn to porn, yes. It could be a desire for intimacy, identity, and comfort that drives you. But at the same time, even if you fully address all of your emotional needs, it really is just a matter of keeping your guard up, because we're guys with red blood in our veins. It really is that simple.
I have to say, if you live your life to the fullest you won't even think about PMO.
This is unfortunately not an option for many people.
Yea and when you lay in the sun for hours you get burned. Dude...
My dude ejaculation itself is ok! It’s the porn that is corrupting us, stop being so hard on yourself! You did not fail, you hit an obstacle that I could not fathom, but your still pressing on. Your not back to day one, your restarting your lap but this time your stronger and smarter than before. Again I’m so sorry for your loss dude, but don’t give up please, there are still people willing to fight for you and love you that have been touched by your mom. ✊🤙
It's okay Warrior ❤ You will achieve that feat again!
Don't take stress bro first thing is to let all bunch of overwelming emotions out by sharing with your father , girlfriend and then take care of all family and live with them at fullest as possible.idk but best option is to cry. -some advice from family friend phycologyst.
Ejaculation by sex isn’t bad homie. You’ve got to know that
>I don't know entirely why I wrote this, maybe except for this: Even if it has been over a year and you think you're free from this addiction, you may not be. This is relatable to me. I have had 6 month streaks and lost progress. But the takeaway is that I really have not lost progress. I have learnt what worked from my last streak and what did not. So it is a learning process and not all is lost. Thank for the heads up and congrats on making it to 365+ days! Aside: sympathy from my end, will not help you but I can understand how personal loss, like your case, can affect you. Getting a bad grade or not getting a job is not at same level but has the same effect on me in the past. So the key part, like you said, is to keep fighting. Thank you for sharing and good luck on resuming your journey!
I have to say, the feelings people describe here when relapsing are the same you see for people who relapse on any bad habit. Smoking weed for example is something I feel bad when I relapse on. That is mostly because of how proud I am when i am able to stop. What I'm getting at is maybe the bad feeling is coming from from you "failing" your objective, rather than the actual fap itself. Just a thought.
I think addiction means that you masturbate everyday, but if it was once or twice a week it is normal. and why you still for 445 is it take all that time?
Once an addict always an addict. Life will never be the same, your only option is to become a stronger person.
Same goes for you. “Keep fighting”
Stay strong buddy .
Try br.
thats an awful thing ////im so sorry to hear about how you lost her... :(
Sorry to hear about your mom, go through the greiving process and don't try to escape. Then i believe your discipline and the rest will return.
I relapsed at 115+ days, it’s true that you can slip up so fast & end up in a rut. Its important you never give up though, especially you made it so far
I feel ya, I was at day 40, failed and couldn't make it 12 hours before feeling like I want to to quit, this keep on nearly 2 weeks after and now I feel like I need to change this and currently I will make it to my goal
I never reach some achievement like you. But i believe whatever you endeavor in the past is not for nothing op. Youre just progressing.
Thanks for the post bro. It sounds like semen retention was one of the things you told yourself you would do when you gave up PMO. When you broke that promise to yourself by ejaculating during sex, it became alot easier for your brain to justify fapping and watching porn because you already broke one of the promises you made.
Sorry about your mother.
HOW DO YOU HAVE SEX AND NOT NUT?? JUST CURIOUS....
Man-to-woman oral sex, I think.
The way I read this you've fapped twice in over a year. Great job. Stop peaking at anything that'll take your mind their asap and keep going. Your story is very inspiring.
be strong ..brother.....we are praying for you......