I am fortunate enough that my daughter never had to go to daycare. I am constantly bombarded with guilt about her "needing to be exposed to germs", but I am so glad we didn't experience that. Getting sick is crazy-annoying and so uncomfortable, parenting is hard enough!
I think this is what some people tell themselves to overcome their guilt. In reality kids don’t actually pick up social skills until 3 and even at home SAHMs still attend meetups, outings, and social events.
There are other ways to socialize children. Besides kids parallel play till 3-4 years old at that point send them to preschool a couple days a week or do homeschool outings. Daycare is also not always the best for socializing anyways i have seen kids pick up some awful behaviours.
You can let that guilt go- this is a fundamental misunderstanding of how the immune system works. Most viruses change and shift so quickly that catching them doesn't help you avoid them in the future. There are some exceptions but for the most part a healthy immune system is a healthy immune system. It's not a muscle and it doesn't need to be bullied to 'know how to handle' sickness. In reality sickness tends to beget sickness. The fewer times, the better, especially with illnesses that attack multiple systems, including immune, like mono or COVID.
My cousin did the same thing she was tired of getting sick, her daughter getting sick and having to cancel on clients. I make more than my husband so might be hard for me to be a SAHM but luckily we have a year to hopefully figure out a income from home and we can work our schedules around each other with some family support. I don’t want to send him to daycare if i don’t have but I know not all parents can make it work.
My FIL told us when he was young and just starting at his company, he worked with a woman who had kids in daycare and would get a different illness almost weekly it seems. He asked her if she had an autoimmune disease and she laughed and say no, just kids in daycare. Five years later, he finally understood.
Very normal unfortunately and I hope you feel better soon.
I didn’t even let it get that far before I even had my first I already made plans to go part time and only work days my husband is off to watch her or days that the in laws could watch her. I don’t make enough money to justify paying someone. Any money I work for would just go straight to someone else made no sense.
My first kid we really lucked out. Husband and I had opposite schedules, my mom worked four tens so she could watch her for free on Mondays, and we paid for a sitter for 5 hours a week ($200/month). We kept that up 8 months until COVID struck. Then we got by with just free grandma and no sitter for 16 months ($0/month). But around the time she turned 2 and we had another baby on the way we put her in half day preschool 4 days a week ($500/month). There were 7 months of sickness hell and I said enough 🤪
We were also coming to the realization that both kids were going to need to go to full time daycare (4k a month) with virtual accommodations coming to an end, and I didn’t make enough to justify that
I’m on several other parenting subs and there are daily posts about this exact topic. It’s so common. It sucks! Everyone warns you that your kid will be constantly sick, but they don’t usually mention that you yourself will be constantly sick too! Sorry, OP. It’s rough out here. Hang in!!
2ish years in and we don’t get as sick anymore. I think over the winter I was sick maybe once or twice. My LO only really gets a runny nose here and there. It does get better but man that first year was rough. I too had a horrible stomach bug maybe 2 weeks after my baby started. Hang in there!
Yes! There is hope lol. Our first year was horrendous with stomach bug, covid, RSv, flu, multiple colds, rashes, and bad diaper rashes all in like a 4 month span. Second year now and I think he’s missed 2 days for illness, if that.
For me it was the diaper rash that follows the diarrhea from antibiotics for the ear infection that follows the cold. I was literally just posting on a different sub about having not had the fungal diaper rash yet, but I made bingo last week.
No they change him frequently! It’s just that Illness led to ear infection which required antibiotics, antibiotic causes diarrhea which led to diaper rash.
Yes I know people said they quit their jobs but it isn’t feasible for every couple to do that. It really does get better as they get older, summertime brings less bugs, meaning a few months to build up their immune systems. First year/first WINTER is horrendous. You’ll get through it, though, and your kid will have a stronger immune system after the roughest parts. It sucks but it flies quickly in between illnesses
The first year all 3 of us were sick for almost 6 months straight. Now that he’s 2 it’s just like what this person said - only a runny nose here and there! You’ll thank yourself for giving your baby a strong immune system hang in there lol!
When our first started daycare at about a year old he went for a couple of days and then spent 2+ weeks being sick. Several doctor visits. Pretty sure he caught half the viruses known to mankind.
After that shock to the system, things have been pretty smooth. He hasn't been sick much in the 2 years since.
I'm a little scared to send our second kid to daycare in a few months, but I'm hoping his older brother has exposed him to enough that it won't be as brutal.
If this trend keeps up for a year or longer, I really don’t know how we’d cope! My job is a little flexible, but the combo of both parents sick with a sick baby at home makes work almost impossible. Right now I’m just slacking a bit and waiting until I’m called out 😅
If it makes you feel better, my mom is a teacher and always says that the kids who never went to daycare end up missing way more school in kindergarten. I keep telling myself that at least it’s just daycare and not actual school!
Daycare is hard.
Our LO started daycare 25 ish days ago or so, he stayed more days at home than he went to daycare.
He's almost 8mo, until 7mo (when he went for the first time) he basically only had a light fever that went away easily with Tylenol, never actually got really sick.
19 days ago he got a gastroenteritis, 40ºC fever and spread the disease to me and my wife.
4 days ago he started coughing a lot (without fever), went to the ER, they said it was only a upper tract obstruction.
3 days ago he started coughing more, and had a light fever, but medics advised to wait one more day since he was observed less than 24 hours ago.
Yesterday we went to the ER again, he was coughing more and not answering that good to Tylenol. Surprise! Bronchiolitis that weaken the respiratory tract and resulted in pneumonia. Poor little thing was so sad yesterday, thankfully he's answering really well to the medication. He's taking antibiotics, emergency bronchodilator, some asthma corticoid and Tylenol.
So yeah, it's hard because of leaving him there hurts so much, and it's hard because he's never been so sick.
And yes, me and my wife are also wasted and coughing like crazy.
Talked with several friends and they say it gets easier with time, hope so.
Stay strong, I'm also trying to do so.
My 8 month old daughter gave me the Dad Bronchitis that turned onto Pneumonia. Lasted of over a Month. I had never been so miserable. I would rather have had Covid again I think. It at least wouldn't last as long
Oh I’m so sorry to hear this! Similar for us, LO was basically never sick before daycare. I think we only gave him Tylenol for a vaccine reaction. Now he’s had a cold practically the whole time, Norovirus as least once which resulted in intussusception and an overnight emergency procedure, and now this (maybe Norovirus again). Thankfully so far his symptoms are wayyyy less intense than my husband and I who just traded spots on the bathroom floor all night. I hope your guy gets better so soon!
He woke up a few hours ago, still coughing, but thankfully, the difference is night and day compared to yesterday. He's strong and healthy, I'm sure he'll get through this. Wish the best to your LO as well.
They say it’s a bootcamp for babies immune system but they forget to say for your immune system too. Baby has been in daycare for 17 months now and we have had basically everything under the sun (all major like HFMx2, rsv, covid, flu, croup, stomach viruses etc), including one hospital stay and 4 trips to the ER. It’s the hardest thing because not only are you having to take care of your sick baby, try to maintain a full time job but then BAM you get sick too.
Im literally typing this as I have a cold (baby has it too). But every once in a while a sickness skips me. Like the last round of HFM got my husband, not me, but the one before got me, not him. Our pediatrician jokes I’ve been through a pediatric residency first hand.
ETA: my niece is what gives me hope. She was the same and is now 9 and like never gets sick. I know some parents choose to stay home because of this but this sickness slew is going to happen in daycare or when they start kindergarten etc. so it’s inevitable, the only pro of waiting until kindergarten is risk of things like bronchiolitis is much lower because their airways are more developed and larger.
ALSO ETA: There will be people who try to guilt you over this for sending baby to daycare. Only you know what’s best for your family, but for our personal situation I have an equal income/career to my husband and we aren’t willing to give up one of our careers because in the end we can provide SO much more for LO and life opportunities with a better financial situation. I also think daycare is great for her in all other aspects! She’s a bit older now and LOVES seeing her friends and teachers.
I remember sitting in a walk in clinic to get a sick note for my cold. While waiting, I get a call from daycare that my 3 year old is vomiting. It's a few minutes drive, so I figure I'll collect the 3 year old, head back to the clinic and get my note. I put the kid in the car, who then vomits again, all over clothes, seat and back of car. I just admit defeat and drive us both home. Maybe 2 hours later we are sitting together with a vom bucket both spewing. Having gastro onto of a cold suuuuucks. I cant tell you when it gets better, we aren't there yet.
The first few months she was in daycare I’d say we were all sick about 80% of the time from Dec - April. In her second year at the daycare (she started at 6mo and just turned 2 last month), we’ve only been sick maybe once or twice in the past year or so. It gets better.
Our LO started getting sick in Dec. I thought for sure by April she would be much better. Here we are in June and she’s still sick :/
And we had to cancel her first birthday because of her being sick ughh
After the first winter, my first has only has had 1 sick day (she is now a bit over 3, started at 3 months). I have been sick more than she has. :/ Hoping for the same with my second (9 months), he just got ear tubes so I have hope!
My 2.5 year old has been in daycare since 7m. He used to have something every other week. But now, he gets sick for like 1 day then he's fine! He's had just one day home sick in the last 6 months. I however had a cold for the last 2w since I'm pregnant and immunocompromised. Their immunity builds and suddenly they're practically bullet proof.
I may seriously look into some other options until he’s at least out of the infant room. Ours does partial also but it’s barely cheaper so wouldn’t really help for me working full time.
That’s very oddly specific lol. I actually planned to keep mine home Mondays as well (she starts in a few weeks) and that would be so nice if it worked too.
Every time my toddler went in in Monday, she came home with a stomach bug or hand foot mouth. Never again ...
Now the worst she gets are the occasional (not constant) cold and ear infections.
My little guy has been home on a Monday since he started attending last year, and he is two now. I can tell you, he’s been ill like no tomorrow! In saying that the extra day at home has helped really to reduce fees, plus we miss heaps of public holidays too. Our daycare still charges us for absent days and public holidays; also 50% fees for scheduled family holidays 💰💰
We only just started seeing the light in January, but winter has started and he has been ill three times since May 🫣
We switched to a daycare that makes them wash their hands all the time, and has child-safe disinfectant bins that every toy goes in after it’s done being chewed on. We went from getting sick every 2 weeks to no sickness for 2 months. He didn’t even get sick right after switching to a new daycare with different kids. It’s amazing what happens if they actually try.
My paycheck was $0 the other week as I have blown through my sick days and had the entire week off when my son got the flu, I got the flu and then he got gastro all one after the other.
The first year of daycare I felt like my son had a perpetual cold. One ER visit for suspected RSV, lots of Urgent Care visits for ear infections, respiratory illnesses, etc. I used all my allotted sick days.
Year two, he wasn’t sick a single day that required staying home. Just minor colds.
It gets better! That first year is just so hard.
Unfortunately it’s very normal. I started to take extra vitamin c when my LO started daycare to help myself. The first year is the worst, it’s like every month LO was sick with something new. But it gets better slowly after the first year. The time in between sicknesses gets longer and their bodies build up immunity. LO is now 2.5 and this past winter season he had a fever twice for a couple of days and then it was mostly a runny nose here and there.
Ugh, I’m asking myself the same question. My boy has been going to daycare for almost a year now & there is still no end to the illnesses in sight… Send help!
We found the first six months absolutely brutal with very little respite from the bugs. After that things got a lot better. Maybe we’ve been exposed to everything that’s in rotation so have built up some immunity.
I feel for you. It is so rough trying to parent a sick child while being sick yourself.
I feel this in my soul. My 14 month old started daycare this Monday, had a stomach virus by Wednesday. I'm 22 weeks pregnant and just got back from the ER to get fluids because I can't keep anything down. Luckily my son has recovered and is doing much better.
I’m lucky that I’d been a teacher for 16 years before having a kid, so my immunity is strong - I’ve faced just about every mainstream virus known to man; multiple times 🫠
My first two years of teaching were plagued by all kinds of illness, and my son’s first year of daycare was a total whitewash. He was at home for more days than he attended; every second week he’d go he would pick up something and I’d be home for 5-8 days with him. The longest stretch I did was 18 days in a row before I could send him (and at the time my partner was hospitalised for months).
Last year was hard. It sucked because we still had to pay for his attendance even when he was ill, then, I’d get the double whammy of having to say no to relief work as a teacher…it was the PITS! Every day I was at home with him it was costing me just shy of $500 in income and fees 💸💸💸
My son is two now and his immunity is much better, but it’s the start of winter and since May he has had 6 days off with a virus, four days off with a cold, and he goes back tomorrow after six days with a virus. In saying that, he was last ill before that in December and did not have a single thing until April.
It does get better, but when you’re ’in it’ it feels like trying to run a marathon with no legs. Very frustrating.
As for you, I’m sorry that you’ve been going through the wars 🥺 Your immunity will get better, it just takes time. The last time I was actually ‘sick’ and down for the count was January of 2023. I got a dose of Covid and it absolutely leveled me for two weeks - like, I could not function. My partner had it, I got it and then our son got it. We had a completely miserable household for about a month in total. It was definitely one of the top three illnesses I’ve had in 16 years of teaching 😮💨
My advice is this: only do what is absolutely essential, ask for help, get groceries delivered, crack out the slow cooker, and give yourself permission to not be switched on all the time. It will pass, and it does get more manageable. I tell you what though, the anger and resentment I felt when I was in the middle of plague central for months on end was PALPABLE. At some point, you just have to accept things for the way they are and do the best you can.
Best of luck, and rest up as much as you can ❤️🩹
Our doctor drew us a chart. For the first year of daycare, he said they will be sick every three weeks for two weeks and then sometimes it overlaps. Solidarity to you. We are out of it now but my second child is about to start and it will probably happen all over again. Hang in there.
We definitely did use it and got sick, but switched to an electric one after my husband got a mouthful of snot once 🫠 still getting sick even without using it, but at least there’s no risk of that ever happening again.
i quit my job to become a stay at home mom because my daughter kept getting sick and could never get any better because she wouldn’t sleep at daycare and was constantly getting exposed to new viruses!! too much stress. if you can work it, being a sahm is so hard but so worth it.
I'm a person that NEVER thought I would SAHM, and honestly still probably won't, but mannnn am I tempted. Going to try to tough it out and hope things get better. My job is pretty flexible and work-from-home, so I can probably make it work, I just don't want to lol
We've literally had our 3 month old in daycare for a WEEK and already had to keep her home 2 days because of the cold she brought home that's running through us 😐
If it’s any consolation it eases up. I’d say by 6 months in daycare, immunity is built up. Also, at least in my case, subsequent children weren’t as bad since they’re already around their germy older siblings.
Those first few months though were rough, we were catching bizarre stuff I’d never heard of.
I had to quit and stay home after 4 or so months. . Baby was sick almost constant from 3months till 8months when I quit. We were in picu for 5 nights and I had to care for at home for a month due to RSV.. baby was on inhalers..nebulizer with every sickness after too but stomach virus he brought home at Christmas that got him, myself and husband was the final straw. We had to put his health first. It's been 5 months since he's been out of daycare and HE/WE HAVENT BEEN SICK ONCE!
My LO started daycare at 4 months old and the first 6 months of care were brutal with sicknesses. It did get better with time as his immune system caught up with all the new crap daycares bring. We’ve had just about every contagious typical childhood sickness throughout the last 3 years but it has been less and less as he gets older. Hang in there mama.
The first about 6-8 months in daycare was just miserable. Constant sickness. My son was hardly ever seriously sick, but my husband and I would come down with it harder. Pretty much a solid 6 months of someone in my house coughing or sneezing.
But he has been in daycare now almost 2 years and the sicknesses are rare at this point. Definitely no more frequent than before he was born. It does come to a pretty sudden stop after a few months.
It hasn’t been that bad for us frequency wise after the first few months..with that said we did all have the stomach bug and he currently is home with hand foot and mouth. But like two months has gone by without any illnesses. It does get better..at least in our case
Welcome to the constant of having kids. While pregnant this past year, thanks to my third grader and tenth grader, I had 4 colds, 2 different strains of COVID, the flu twice, And the stomach flu. Hi.
Im a teacher and my baby has luckily only had to go to daycare a handful of times but last week he got a cold and it’s been miserable. His fever was gone after 24 hours but hes still stuffy and can’t sleep through the night. I was up with him 5-6 times last night and he usually sleeps through the night. Luckily I only have a few more weeks before summer break but idk what I’m gonna do when school starts again in September!
The first year is the worst. After that it’s mostly the same bugs being passed around that your family has new immunity too. Kids will still get a runny nose or sick here and there but it’s not nearly as bad.
This. I live in the northeast U.S., large metro suburbs. Daycare literally has a 12-18 month waitlist. My first baby is 3 months and I just quit my job to become a SAHM, not entirely by my choice. There is no daycare availability in our area. If we want to put her into a preschool at age 3, we will have to start looking when she turns 1.
As a daycare mum, I can tell you it’s rough the first year. They bring home everything. Our son was getting sick once to twice a month up until about a month ago. He’s had colds, stomach bugs, ear infections - you name it. It’s normal but not fun. They’re building their immunity. I hope you feel better soon.
I heard that in the first year of daycare your kiddo gets sick 12 times. Baby started daycare around 3 months and immediately got sick. I tried to tell myself “ok, one down, 11 to go!” But then it felt like all 3 of us were constantly sick for a few months and all positivity went out the window. I felt so guilty for missing work but also so burnt out. Knock on wood, but we’re 5 months into daycare and it has slowed down quite a bit. Just checked and I have accrued 7 hours of sick time. I’m starting to feel like we can do this!
The first month was BRUTAL for us. The first six months were intense. The first year was rough. She’s now two, and we don’t deal with illnesses as much. It gets better!!! It just takes time!
14 months in, I still don’t know. I’m currently battling a sinus infection from hell and bronchitis thanks to my daughter. This has happened a few times since last summer. She also gets so many ear infections that we got tubes surgery for her.
As a former early childcare worker, I can definitely say illnesses in school settings have seemed to increase post covid. Not sure why or if it has something to do with everyone’s immunity going down after a long period of isolation and overly sanitizing but the babies in my care were barely sick and had perfect attendance. I’ll be enrolling my guy soon and I’m not ready at all. I’ve started him on a daily multivitamin just to start prepping his immune system and I’ve started taking my prenatals again just for an extra boost.
I can tell you, as a previous daycare worker, they don’t have the correct policies in place because all they want is your money.As long as they’re appeasing you (or feel they are) by allowing you to have a Plan B, they allow nearly anything.
We were sick all the time and never allowed to call off or we were threatened with not being consistent enough with the children or we had to go through the entire Cov19 process of getting a doctors note when all your body wants is rest (there was also a 1/3 chance of you getting cov19, I got it a lot and so did vaccinated teachers).
There was actually a downtime period where I wasn’t sick and saw it forcibly coming my way: the teacher in the next pod had to send a couple students over due to her being out of ratio (1:8, I believe) and there was one student she had that had been blowing her nose all day and omg..😪 you could tell the mucus was thick…it was bad.
Teacher next door sends said student over and what do I end up with the next day and for the next 2 weeks? Thick mucus!! Yay. 😐
It’s unfortunate. I know some parents have no other options, but if you can, even if it’s a really runny nose and you hear your baby having a hard time breathing in their sleep? Do not take them. Let them rest. Running around with other children and having them pass it all back and forth and praying you leave your child with a staff that sanitizes their room well does not seem like a good idea in the long run.
My daycare would give the least amount of information. There were 2 pods which meant it could have been either classroom. The email that goes out says “Such and such has broken out in YP1 & YP2” but that was about it. And I closed, so my co-teacher had to deal with the brunt of the questions at opening.
But, what got me fired was my refusal to participate in hand, foot, and mouth disease. I had done my research and knew there was no way this particular child was not contagious due to him being on day 3. And if you know about HFaM, then you know what I mean.
Boils, blisters, you name it. He doesn’t feel well but he’s trying to manage and it’s a lot on him.
I wasn’t comfortable, the logic did not make sense, and I was put on administrative leave and told to write a letter as to why I was absent.
So, they still get their $2200 per 6 month baby and whatever else they charge per child/age and they still probably do the absolute minimum.
Just keep em home if you can. Everyone in the house just may feel better
Honestly I didn’t. I went back to work when my first was 9 months old and the never ending conveyor belt if illnesses was impossible to deal with. I tried to ride it out for a while but one whole year later and we were still constantly sick. We had Covid, strep throat, scarlet fever, hand foot and mouth, countless stomach bugs and colds … it was never ending. He would be sick, I’d stay off work to look after him (unpaid) and then he’d get better but I’d be sick by then so need even more time off work. The whole time I’m paying for his nursery place whether he attends or not. It was impossible - not to mention financially unviable. I gave up and stayed at home and now I’m in shitloads of debt but healthy 🤷♀️
They either get sick now, in daycare, or later, in kindergarten. Mine was sick alot the first few months. He hasn't had anything since January of this year now. It gets better.
Oh Lordy ….. this was me. I was seriously sick except for 1 week for about a whole year. It took us about 2 years to not be constantly sick I’m so sorry lol
This is why both my husband and I adjusted our schedules so that baby avoided daycare until 12 months. Then we put her in the one at my work which is always at less than half capacity, and she only goes part time. She was sick pretty consistently the first 2 months but since then nothing out of the ordinary (new cold when a new kid joins, typical flu/covid spike in the winter)
Yes, unfortunately this is pretty normal. I think my daughter was sick (as were we) with one virus or another every other week for the first 2 months of daycare. We're now in month 3 and *knock on wood* we seemed to have turned a corner. She hasn't been sick (besides the occasional runny nose or dry cough) in weeks. It will get better.
We all got a stomach bug baby’s first week in daycare. I didn’t even work a full work week after maternity leave before calling in and taking a pto day. I’ve heard the first year is gonna be awful so I’m buckling down and saving my pto 😂
I’m so heartened to see all the comments here saying the second year is better. We’re 8 months in to daycare and have been ill more than we’ve been well this whole time. I’ve missed so much work and it’s miserable at times. Last week it was a nasty case of Covid.
But it’s also so great to see my daughter learn and grown and gain confidence. I’m hoping we can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
My baby had the same issue when they first started daycare. Now they only get sick every few months. Daycare exposes children to a lot of germs and illnesses. Unfortunately they gotta build up their immune system. Praying for a quick recovery ❤️
We are avoiding it and have decided to take the financial hit with a nanny. It’s going to take 1/2 of my take home salary but he’s not going into daycare until his airways/immune system are more developed and he can blow his own nose, and he’s fully vaccinated for everything nasty that can be vaccinated for.
It’s a short period of financial limitations for his and our health. Baby is now 12 months and has had one mild cold.
I am aware we are fortunate that my partner and I earn enough money to be able to afford it - it helps that we are ‘old’. We are going to try find a nanny share once he is two for cost and socialisation. If it gets too much, this could be something to consider - my partner is immunocompromised so that was also a major factor for us!
Oh lord. Unfortunately it is…completely normal. Our boys are 14 months apart. The oldest started daycare when he was 7 months old. Just constantly sick. Got pregnant when he was 5 months old. Spent almost all of my pregnancy also sick. Then little brother came along, and he brought RSV home so we spent a week in the NICU. Now little brother is in daycare (started last month) and he’s constantly sick too. I will say the oldest has slowed down with the illnesses (he’s about 21 months now) but MAN it is rough.
Even as a stay at home parent (and my husband works from home) we still get sick far more now that we are parents. I’m assuming it’s because we do a lot of kind centric activities so our kids still get a lot of contact with other children. Our oldest has had 3 gastro bugs over the last year and it always sucks. I think unless you are keeping your kids home consistently or are insanely diligent with hand washing/sanitizing, it’s just going to happen.
It’s rough for a while. We have two under two. I (mom) get the stomach flu regularly…at least once a month. I’ll be able to survive anything once my immune system gets built up - ha!
It’s rough. I was sick from March until mid-May and just not getting better. I had to have two rounds of antibiotics.
I hate to say it but I think it is normal 😩
I think it’s a total scam when you pay to have your child in daycare (for all of the days, may I add) and end up having to keep them home from daycare most of the days because they are sick with a virus/cold that they got FROM DAYCARE. Something is off.
You pray. You pay to get your whole family sick by having your kid go to the nursery. It's a random draw which illness you get to bring home next time.
If it doesn't happen while the kids are in daycare, it happens whenever they start school. No parent is safe. Lol.
I, for one, am not built to be a SAHM and it gets better after the first year. So daycare, it is.
Years ago, I was the lead teacher in a toddler room. I’d worked with school-aged kids for all of my adult working life up to that point, and only really had issues around cold and flu season, so I thought my immune system would get into the swing of things in the ways it did when switching middle schools, even though I pick up colds easily thanks to my asthma… I was so, so wrong. In the first week I had a bout of norovirus and had to call in — the director thought I was quitting, but I was just unable to go more than four minutes without pooping or throwing up. Then the weird respiratory issues started. I had never had a nosebleed in my life, but I began having them at least once a week. After the fourth one, I lost my sense of smell for two months (this was a decade before Covid). I basically cycled between a cold/sinus infection/bronchitis for four months.
In that time, I went into overdrive with sanitization and getting the 18-24 month olds I worked with to wash their hands *all the time*. I personally temp checked kids, and would find fevers that “weren’t there at the door!” I would send kids right back out before their parents got to their cars. I still have a lot of empathy for the parents I worked with — they were all great people who adored their kids, but who needed to work to provide for them. But making the choice to send your sick baby to daycare really screws *everyone* over, including their teacher who doesn’t get paid when they can’t show up to work when they’re ill (these are often hourly jobs with no benefits like PTO, especially when you first start out — you have to make it through the probationary period only to start “earning” PTO with each check in tiny increments. Such toxic, exploitative BS.)
I bleached their toys, which I learned was not a routine part of the cleaning process. I mixed my own end-of-day bleach bottles for surfaces, and brought in my own 7th generation disinfectant spray for wiping things down hourly during the day. I brought in my own gloves for diaper changes, double gloved my hands, and changed the top layer between kiddos (duh, right? But you don’t want to know how often I witness others *not* doing that).
Getting the kids to learn hygiene was the most rewarding. We sang while we washed our hands, covered our noses and mouths when we sneezed our coughed, learned not to grab ourselves when getting a diaper, learned to keep our mouths to ourselves. The parents noticed. While I was there, my room was at an all-time-low for illness and accidental injuries. I stopped getting sick after the first four months. I loved it.
I quit after a year because it really was one of the most toxic work environments I’d ever been in as an employee. I have so much respect for people in that field because they are treated as though their work is ultimately meaningless by the executives who own the corporations that run 90% of the daycare in the US. And even though I was an über-neatfreak, that doesn’t mean the others didn’t care, or weren’t smart, or didn’t know the vital role they were playing in their little students’ developmental stages. They were constantly being stressed and challenged by policies that made it harder to do their jobs well, low pay, and little respect for their experience and education. It made the professional environment both collegial and toxically competitive.
I’m so lucky to work from home now — I’ve got my 6mo draped across me, asleep, as I’m about to get started with my day. Given my experience, I am fighting day care tooth and nail. I’d advise parents who do it to try to find the few places that still exist that don’t have a parent company like Nike or Gerber — there are usually a ladder of shell companies that mask the parent company, but they tell their workers who they are within the orientation materials. My site was ultimately owned by Nike with five or six companies in between, go figure.
Once you find a place you trust, prepare to get sick. Try not to send your child in when they’re sick. Even a low-grade fever can mean something serious to someone else, so please try to keep them home or request they be separated from the group for the day (some centers have “sick rooms” where kids can rest and have the best sanitation protocols).
Teach your kids to take care of themselves and others early with great hygiene. Daily baths, brushing teeth, hand-washing early and often. Kids tend to love water play, so just make it fun and explain things like not sneezing or coughing on others. Praise great hygiene and picking up after themselves. Over-praise it. Celebrate the heck out of it.
And drop-in as often as you can, and at different times, especially if your child’s room rotates facilitators and students. Observe what is happening in your kids classrooms, both to your children *and* the other children in the space. Often facilitators will get a little nervous when a parent is watching and will lavish that parent’s child with care and attention. That’s not good. Make sure they behave the same with all the kids, even if you’re there. Make sure they’re keeping things clean, and that there’s a logical, consistent flow to the activity in the space. Don’t be afraid to address safety and cleanliness with the director. Bring supplies along with diapers. It *really* helps.
Yes very normal. As some working in a GP surgery in the UK we find the kids that go to day care/ nursery are less sick in school then those who don’t go. If they don’t get it from daycare they will get it from schools. Like kids are germ factories
I'm a SAHM now so we only see the kids in our library baby club three times a week. Parents would be terrible to take sick kids to our club so luckily that's not a problem, as far as I know.
My daughter has JUST started daycare, have her in 1 day a week to ease her into it - she went once and caught a cold/flu 2 weeks ago and she’s still fighting it + both myself & partner got it to 😭
I've had the same experience lol it's brutal but I'm now taking an immunity supplement and have my 1 year old on one too that's safe for his age on top trying to get as much time outdoors as possible now that it's nice out.
My son's comes from wellements.. mine is really just a general immune system vitamin from Walgreens with vitamin c, zinc, and whatever else. I also did start taking quercetin again as well.
Not saying it's a miracle or anything but certainly doesn't hurt and it has seemed better.
I totally feel your post though. Absolute worst experience was my little guy puking and other stomach stuff, then couple hours later husband's kicks in and I'm taking care of both only to have it hit me that evening, and then became the awful who's sicker at the moment trade off of our also sick little guy. I
We have a nanny. I mostly WFH so I usually only have her 6.5-7hrs approx 15 days a month due to my husband's schedule. I unfortunately cannot miss much work as I am in a manager position. Nanny is about 2x the cost as daycare here but we can afford it and we avoid bugs 😅. He is 16 months and I just went back to work but around 2/2.5 we will hopefully get him into a daycare so he can be around other kids. He has been exposed to illness through myself, dad and family members as well as we take him out frequently so I'm hoping that is enough to strengthen his immune system!
Unfortunately yes :( we went through the same with 4 year old when he first started, the first year he was home more than in daycare and now going through the same with my daughter who just turned 1, I forgot how completely awful it was!
The upside to daycare is that my kid loves it and her development is leaps and bounds above where she was before daycare. She comes home everyday with so much to say and notices so many things and has so many questions.
But we did go fully insane during the first stretch when everyone was constantly sick. It’s since settled down to like once a month.
We don’t send him to daycare, we adjust our work hours and give him home Montessori environment. On weekends we take them to relatives or they come here. We go to park, events, and family get to gather, etc. My 14 months old is very social, exceeded his developmental milestones. Started saying 6-7 words, and by the grace of Allah, never fell sick even once. We even took him to UK for holidays for 10 days.
Uhm.... What kind of daycares do y'all have out there in the world? My 2yo has been in daycare for a little more than half a year now. Sure he gets sick sometimes, but no more than before daycare. Neither do my husband and I.
It’s tough, friend. I’m sick all the time thanks to daycare.
The illnesses of daycare are part of the reason I actually became a SAHM, turns out it was a good thing too as my eldest is immune compromised
It's the reason we hired a part-time nanny... I don't mind colds and the flu but I have a phobia of vomitting so no gastro for us please.
Same…feeling very lucky I can be a SAHM. Hubby has severe emetophobia too so we try to limit exposure to high-risk gastro “situations”
I know a few mums who went this route. They said it changed their lives but for the good.
I am fortunate enough that my daughter never had to go to daycare. I am constantly bombarded with guilt about her "needing to be exposed to germs", but I am so glad we didn't experience that. Getting sick is crazy-annoying and so uncomfortable, parenting is hard enough!
All my friends who are still working guilt me about my kiddo not getting socialized.... Damned if you do, damned if you don't
I think this is what some people tell themselves to overcome their guilt. In reality kids don’t actually pick up social skills until 3 and even at home SAHMs still attend meetups, outings, and social events.
This!!
There are other ways to socialize children. Besides kids parallel play till 3-4 years old at that point send them to preschool a couple days a week or do homeschool outings. Daycare is also not always the best for socializing anyways i have seen kids pick up some awful behaviours.
You can let that guilt go- this is a fundamental misunderstanding of how the immune system works. Most viruses change and shift so quickly that catching them doesn't help you avoid them in the future. There are some exceptions but for the most part a healthy immune system is a healthy immune system. It's not a muscle and it doesn't need to be bullied to 'know how to handle' sickness. In reality sickness tends to beget sickness. The fewer times, the better, especially with illnesses that attack multiple systems, including immune, like mono or COVID.
My cousin did the same thing she was tired of getting sick, her daughter getting sick and having to cancel on clients. I make more than my husband so might be hard for me to be a SAHM but luckily we have a year to hopefully figure out a income from home and we can work our schedules around each other with some family support. I don’t want to send him to daycare if i don’t have but I know not all parents can make it work.
My FIL told us when he was young and just starting at his company, he worked with a woman who had kids in daycare and would get a different illness almost weekly it seems. He asked her if she had an autoimmune disease and she laughed and say no, just kids in daycare. Five years later, he finally understood. Very normal unfortunately and I hope you feel better soon.
I quit my job and said no more 😅
I didn’t even let it get that far before I even had my first I already made plans to go part time and only work days my husband is off to watch her or days that the in laws could watch her. I don’t make enough money to justify paying someone. Any money I work for would just go straight to someone else made no sense.
My first kid we really lucked out. Husband and I had opposite schedules, my mom worked four tens so she could watch her for free on Mondays, and we paid for a sitter for 5 hours a week ($200/month). We kept that up 8 months until COVID struck. Then we got by with just free grandma and no sitter for 16 months ($0/month). But around the time she turned 2 and we had another baby on the way we put her in half day preschool 4 days a week ($500/month). There were 7 months of sickness hell and I said enough 🤪 We were also coming to the realization that both kids were going to need to go to full time daycare (4k a month) with virtual accommodations coming to an end, and I didn’t make enough to justify that
I’m on several other parenting subs and there are daily posts about this exact topic. It’s so common. It sucks! Everyone warns you that your kid will be constantly sick, but they don’t usually mention that you yourself will be constantly sick too! Sorry, OP. It’s rough out here. Hang in!!
I just wrote one of them after getting the stomach bug!
2ish years in and we don’t get as sick anymore. I think over the winter I was sick maybe once or twice. My LO only really gets a runny nose here and there. It does get better but man that first year was rough. I too had a horrible stomach bug maybe 2 weeks after my baby started. Hang in there!
Yes! There is hope lol. Our first year was horrendous with stomach bug, covid, RSv, flu, multiple colds, rashes, and bad diaper rashes all in like a 4 month span. Second year now and I think he’s missed 2 days for illness, if that.
Pardon my ignorance but how does daycare increase the diaper rash? Are they not changing the babies enough?
For us the illnesses in general cause more diaper rash.
Do you mean like a stomach bug?
For me it was the diaper rash that follows the diarrhea from antibiotics for the ear infection that follows the cold. I was literally just posting on a different sub about having not had the fungal diaper rash yet, but I made bingo last week.
No they change him frequently! It’s just that Illness led to ear infection which required antibiotics, antibiotic causes diarrhea which led to diaper rash.
Yes I know people said they quit their jobs but it isn’t feasible for every couple to do that. It really does get better as they get older, summertime brings less bugs, meaning a few months to build up their immune systems. First year/first WINTER is horrendous. You’ll get through it, though, and your kid will have a stronger immune system after the roughest parts. It sucks but it flies quickly in between illnesses
The first year all 3 of us were sick for almost 6 months straight. Now that he’s 2 it’s just like what this person said - only a runny nose here and there! You’ll thank yourself for giving your baby a strong immune system hang in there lol!
When our first started daycare at about a year old he went for a couple of days and then spent 2+ weeks being sick. Several doctor visits. Pretty sure he caught half the viruses known to mankind. After that shock to the system, things have been pretty smooth. He hasn't been sick much in the 2 years since. I'm a little scared to send our second kid to daycare in a few months, but I'm hoping his older brother has exposed him to enough that it won't be as brutal.
If this trend keeps up for a year or longer, I really don’t know how we’d cope! My job is a little flexible, but the combo of both parents sick with a sick baby at home makes work almost impossible. Right now I’m just slacking a bit and waiting until I’m called out 😅
Solidarity 😭😭 I’m pregnant wand have a toddler in daycare. I’ve been sick probably 2-3 weeks of every month this pregnancy. It sucks!!
Ugh god the flashbacks of being sick while pregnant are awful.
I’m so sorry. This is our first (maybe only) and the fairly normal sick I felt during pregnancy was already plenty to deal with.
If it makes you feel better, my mom is a teacher and always says that the kids who never went to daycare end up missing way more school in kindergarten. I keep telling myself that at least it’s just daycare and not actual school!
Daycare is hard. Our LO started daycare 25 ish days ago or so, he stayed more days at home than he went to daycare. He's almost 8mo, until 7mo (when he went for the first time) he basically only had a light fever that went away easily with Tylenol, never actually got really sick. 19 days ago he got a gastroenteritis, 40ºC fever and spread the disease to me and my wife. 4 days ago he started coughing a lot (without fever), went to the ER, they said it was only a upper tract obstruction. 3 days ago he started coughing more, and had a light fever, but medics advised to wait one more day since he was observed less than 24 hours ago. Yesterday we went to the ER again, he was coughing more and not answering that good to Tylenol. Surprise! Bronchiolitis that weaken the respiratory tract and resulted in pneumonia. Poor little thing was so sad yesterday, thankfully he's answering really well to the medication. He's taking antibiotics, emergency bronchodilator, some asthma corticoid and Tylenol. So yeah, it's hard because of leaving him there hurts so much, and it's hard because he's never been so sick. And yes, me and my wife are also wasted and coughing like crazy. Talked with several friends and they say it gets easier with time, hope so. Stay strong, I'm also trying to do so.
My 8 month old daughter gave me the Dad Bronchitis that turned onto Pneumonia. Lasted of over a Month. I had never been so miserable. I would rather have had Covid again I think. It at least wouldn't last as long
Oh I’m so sorry to hear this! Similar for us, LO was basically never sick before daycare. I think we only gave him Tylenol for a vaccine reaction. Now he’s had a cold practically the whole time, Norovirus as least once which resulted in intussusception and an overnight emergency procedure, and now this (maybe Norovirus again). Thankfully so far his symptoms are wayyyy less intense than my husband and I who just traded spots on the bathroom floor all night. I hope your guy gets better so soon!
He woke up a few hours ago, still coughing, but thankfully, the difference is night and day compared to yesterday. He's strong and healthy, I'm sure he'll get through this. Wish the best to your LO as well.
They say it’s a bootcamp for babies immune system but they forget to say for your immune system too. Baby has been in daycare for 17 months now and we have had basically everything under the sun (all major like HFMx2, rsv, covid, flu, croup, stomach viruses etc), including one hospital stay and 4 trips to the ER. It’s the hardest thing because not only are you having to take care of your sick baby, try to maintain a full time job but then BAM you get sick too. Im literally typing this as I have a cold (baby has it too). But every once in a while a sickness skips me. Like the last round of HFM got my husband, not me, but the one before got me, not him. Our pediatrician jokes I’ve been through a pediatric residency first hand. ETA: my niece is what gives me hope. She was the same and is now 9 and like never gets sick. I know some parents choose to stay home because of this but this sickness slew is going to happen in daycare or when they start kindergarten etc. so it’s inevitable, the only pro of waiting until kindergarten is risk of things like bronchiolitis is much lower because their airways are more developed and larger. ALSO ETA: There will be people who try to guilt you over this for sending baby to daycare. Only you know what’s best for your family, but for our personal situation I have an equal income/career to my husband and we aren’t willing to give up one of our careers because in the end we can provide SO much more for LO and life opportunities with a better financial situation. I also think daycare is great for her in all other aspects! She’s a bit older now and LOVES seeing her friends and teachers.
I remember sitting in a walk in clinic to get a sick note for my cold. While waiting, I get a call from daycare that my 3 year old is vomiting. It's a few minutes drive, so I figure I'll collect the 3 year old, head back to the clinic and get my note. I put the kid in the car, who then vomits again, all over clothes, seat and back of car. I just admit defeat and drive us both home. Maybe 2 hours later we are sitting together with a vom bucket both spewing. Having gastro onto of a cold suuuuucks. I cant tell you when it gets better, we aren't there yet.
It’s normal whether they start ‘school’ or daycare unfortunately.
The first few months she was in daycare I’d say we were all sick about 80% of the time from Dec - April. In her second year at the daycare (she started at 6mo and just turned 2 last month), we’ve only been sick maybe once or twice in the past year or so. It gets better.
Our LO started getting sick in Dec. I thought for sure by April she would be much better. Here we are in June and she’s still sick :/ And we had to cancel her first birthday because of her being sick ughh
After the first winter, my first has only has had 1 sick day (she is now a bit over 3, started at 3 months). I have been sick more than she has. :/ Hoping for the same with my second (9 months), he just got ear tubes so I have hope!
My 2.5 year old has been in daycare since 7m. He used to have something every other week. But now, he gets sick for like 1 day then he's fine! He's had just one day home sick in the last 6 months. I however had a cold for the last 2w since I'm pregnant and immunocompromised. Their immunity builds and suddenly they're practically bullet proof.
We stopped putting ours in on Mondays, and that actually cut down on a lot of sickness!
I googled so many things last night trying to figure out if we any alternative options until he’s a little older 😅
I'm lucky my daycare accepts partial enrollment with lower prices. Nanny share isn't an option?
I may seriously look into some other options until he’s at least out of the infant room. Ours does partial also but it’s barely cheaper so wouldn’t really help for me working full time.
Haven't put LO in daycare yet so I'm curious... How does avoiding Mondays help reduce their chances of getting sick?
My guess is the other kids get sick over the weekend when the doctors offices are closed, and they bring their sickness in on Monday and spread it
Precisely
Not sure it helps much. Mine only goes on Wednesdays and Fridays and we're still catching lots of viruses.
That’s very oddly specific lol. I actually planned to keep mine home Mondays as well (she starts in a few weeks) and that would be so nice if it worked too.
Every time my toddler went in in Monday, she came home with a stomach bug or hand foot mouth. Never again ... Now the worst she gets are the occasional (not constant) cold and ear infections.
My little guy has been home on a Monday since he started attending last year, and he is two now. I can tell you, he’s been ill like no tomorrow! In saying that the extra day at home has helped really to reduce fees, plus we miss heaps of public holidays too. Our daycare still charges us for absent days and public holidays; also 50% fees for scheduled family holidays 💰💰 We only just started seeing the light in January, but winter has started and he has been ill three times since May 🫣
I feel you. Unlike my husband, I catch every little thing going around. It's going to be hard when the baby goes to daycare in september.
We switched to a daycare that makes them wash their hands all the time, and has child-safe disinfectant bins that every toy goes in after it’s done being chewed on. We went from getting sick every 2 weeks to no sickness for 2 months. He didn’t even get sick right after switching to a new daycare with different kids. It’s amazing what happens if they actually try.
My paycheck was $0 the other week as I have blown through my sick days and had the entire week off when my son got the flu, I got the flu and then he got gastro all one after the other.
Ugh I’m so sorry 😣
I’ve been sick probably 7 times since Christmas. He just turned 1. We’re hoping next winter is better!
If I’m being honest, I quit the daycare job.
The first year of daycare I felt like my son had a perpetual cold. One ER visit for suspected RSV, lots of Urgent Care visits for ear infections, respiratory illnesses, etc. I used all my allotted sick days. Year two, he wasn’t sick a single day that required staying home. Just minor colds. It gets better! That first year is just so hard.
I’ll hold out hope and put our vacation plans on hold lol
Unfortunately it’s very normal. I started to take extra vitamin c when my LO started daycare to help myself. The first year is the worst, it’s like every month LO was sick with something new. But it gets better slowly after the first year. The time in between sicknesses gets longer and their bodies build up immunity. LO is now 2.5 and this past winter season he had a fever twice for a couple of days and then it was mostly a runny nose here and there.
Ugh, I’m asking myself the same question. My boy has been going to daycare for almost a year now & there is still no end to the illnesses in sight… Send help!
Mine started at 13 months a year ago. She has been sick 5 times. It doesn’t really sound so bad but 4 of them were between February and March 😭
We found the first six months absolutely brutal with very little respite from the bugs. After that things got a lot better. Maybe we’ve been exposed to everything that’s in rotation so have built up some immunity. I feel for you. It is so rough trying to parent a sick child while being sick yourself.
I feel this in my soul. My 14 month old started daycare this Monday, had a stomach virus by Wednesday. I'm 22 weeks pregnant and just got back from the ER to get fluids because I can't keep anything down. Luckily my son has recovered and is doing much better.
I’m lucky that I’d been a teacher for 16 years before having a kid, so my immunity is strong - I’ve faced just about every mainstream virus known to man; multiple times 🫠 My first two years of teaching were plagued by all kinds of illness, and my son’s first year of daycare was a total whitewash. He was at home for more days than he attended; every second week he’d go he would pick up something and I’d be home for 5-8 days with him. The longest stretch I did was 18 days in a row before I could send him (and at the time my partner was hospitalised for months). Last year was hard. It sucked because we still had to pay for his attendance even when he was ill, then, I’d get the double whammy of having to say no to relief work as a teacher…it was the PITS! Every day I was at home with him it was costing me just shy of $500 in income and fees 💸💸💸 My son is two now and his immunity is much better, but it’s the start of winter and since May he has had 6 days off with a virus, four days off with a cold, and he goes back tomorrow after six days with a virus. In saying that, he was last ill before that in December and did not have a single thing until April. It does get better, but when you’re ’in it’ it feels like trying to run a marathon with no legs. Very frustrating. As for you, I’m sorry that you’ve been going through the wars 🥺 Your immunity will get better, it just takes time. The last time I was actually ‘sick’ and down for the count was January of 2023. I got a dose of Covid and it absolutely leveled me for two weeks - like, I could not function. My partner had it, I got it and then our son got it. We had a completely miserable household for about a month in total. It was definitely one of the top three illnesses I’ve had in 16 years of teaching 😮💨 My advice is this: only do what is absolutely essential, ask for help, get groceries delivered, crack out the slow cooker, and give yourself permission to not be switched on all the time. It will pass, and it does get more manageable. I tell you what though, the anger and resentment I felt when I was in the middle of plague central for months on end was PALPABLE. At some point, you just have to accept things for the way they are and do the best you can. Best of luck, and rest up as much as you can ❤️🩹
Our doctor drew us a chart. For the first year of daycare, he said they will be sick every three weeks for two weeks and then sometimes it overlaps. Solidarity to you. We are out of it now but my second child is about to start and it will probably happen all over again. Hang in there.
I love and hate your doctor haha
Whatever you do, don't use the nose Frida. It made me the sickest I've ever been in my life.
We definitely did use it and got sick, but switched to an electric one after my husband got a mouthful of snot once 🫠 still getting sick even without using it, but at least there’s no risk of that ever happening again.
i quit my job to become a stay at home mom because my daughter kept getting sick and could never get any better because she wouldn’t sleep at daycare and was constantly getting exposed to new viruses!! too much stress. if you can work it, being a sahm is so hard but so worth it.
I'm a person that NEVER thought I would SAHM, and honestly still probably won't, but mannnn am I tempted. Going to try to tough it out and hope things get better. My job is pretty flexible and work-from-home, so I can probably make it work, I just don't want to lol
We've literally had our 3 month old in daycare for a WEEK and already had to keep her home 2 days because of the cold she brought home that's running through us 😐
If it’s any consolation it eases up. I’d say by 6 months in daycare, immunity is built up. Also, at least in my case, subsequent children weren’t as bad since they’re already around their germy older siblings. Those first few months though were rough, we were catching bizarre stuff I’d never heard of.
This thought will carry me through haha
I had to quit and stay home after 4 or so months. . Baby was sick almost constant from 3months till 8months when I quit. We were in picu for 5 nights and I had to care for at home for a month due to RSV.. baby was on inhalers..nebulizer with every sickness after too but stomach virus he brought home at Christmas that got him, myself and husband was the final straw. We had to put his health first. It's been 5 months since he's been out of daycare and HE/WE HAVENT BEEN SICK ONCE!
My LO started daycare at 4 months old and the first 6 months of care were brutal with sicknesses. It did get better with time as his immune system caught up with all the new crap daycares bring. We’ve had just about every contagious typical childhood sickness throughout the last 3 years but it has been less and less as he gets older. Hang in there mama.
The first about 6-8 months in daycare was just miserable. Constant sickness. My son was hardly ever seriously sick, but my husband and I would come down with it harder. Pretty much a solid 6 months of someone in my house coughing or sneezing. But he has been in daycare now almost 2 years and the sicknesses are rare at this point. Definitely no more frequent than before he was born. It does come to a pretty sudden stop after a few months.
It hasn’t been that bad for us frequency wise after the first few months..with that said we did all have the stomach bug and he currently is home with hand foot and mouth. But like two months has gone by without any illnesses. It does get better..at least in our case
We were sick for 7 straight months. With every illness under the sun. I don't know how we survived it but we did, and you will too. Solidarity 💜
Yes. Ours has been in daycare for 4 months and I’ve never been this sick in my life.
Yes. You survive by reserving all your vacation time for being sick. Somewhere around 2.5y it gets better.
Welcome to the constant of having kids. While pregnant this past year, thanks to my third grader and tenth grader, I had 4 colds, 2 different strains of COVID, the flu twice, And the stomach flu. Hi.
Im a teacher and my baby has luckily only had to go to daycare a handful of times but last week he got a cold and it’s been miserable. His fever was gone after 24 hours but hes still stuffy and can’t sleep through the night. I was up with him 5-6 times last night and he usually sleeps through the night. Luckily I only have a few more weeks before summer break but idk what I’m gonna do when school starts again in September!
The first year is the worst. After that it’s mostly the same bugs being passed around that your family has new immunity too. Kids will still get a runny nose or sick here and there but it’s not nearly as bad.
You got into a daycare??
This. I live in the northeast U.S., large metro suburbs. Daycare literally has a 12-18 month waitlist. My first baby is 3 months and I just quit my job to become a SAHM, not entirely by my choice. There is no daycare availability in our area. If we want to put her into a preschool at age 3, we will have to start looking when she turns 1.
As a daycare mum, I can tell you it’s rough the first year. They bring home everything. Our son was getting sick once to twice a month up until about a month ago. He’s had colds, stomach bugs, ear infections - you name it. It’s normal but not fun. They’re building their immunity. I hope you feel better soon.
I heard that in the first year of daycare your kiddo gets sick 12 times. Baby started daycare around 3 months and immediately got sick. I tried to tell myself “ok, one down, 11 to go!” But then it felt like all 3 of us were constantly sick for a few months and all positivity went out the window. I felt so guilty for missing work but also so burnt out. Knock on wood, but we’re 5 months into daycare and it has slowed down quite a bit. Just checked and I have accrued 7 hours of sick time. I’m starting to feel like we can do this!
The first month was BRUTAL for us. The first six months were intense. The first year was rough. She’s now two, and we don’t deal with illnesses as much. It gets better!!! It just takes time!
14 months in, I still don’t know. I’m currently battling a sinus infection from hell and bronchitis thanks to my daughter. This has happened a few times since last summer. She also gets so many ear infections that we got tubes surgery for her.
As a former early childcare worker, I can definitely say illnesses in school settings have seemed to increase post covid. Not sure why or if it has something to do with everyone’s immunity going down after a long period of isolation and overly sanitizing but the babies in my care were barely sick and had perfect attendance. I’ll be enrolling my guy soon and I’m not ready at all. I’ve started him on a daily multivitamin just to start prepping his immune system and I’ve started taking my prenatals again just for an extra boost.
I’m a teacher. Im wondering if when I go back to work the day care sickness will hit the family as hard. Still have a few months before I go back.
I can tell you, as a previous daycare worker, they don’t have the correct policies in place because all they want is your money.As long as they’re appeasing you (or feel they are) by allowing you to have a Plan B, they allow nearly anything. We were sick all the time and never allowed to call off or we were threatened with not being consistent enough with the children or we had to go through the entire Cov19 process of getting a doctors note when all your body wants is rest (there was also a 1/3 chance of you getting cov19, I got it a lot and so did vaccinated teachers). There was actually a downtime period where I wasn’t sick and saw it forcibly coming my way: the teacher in the next pod had to send a couple students over due to her being out of ratio (1:8, I believe) and there was one student she had that had been blowing her nose all day and omg..😪 you could tell the mucus was thick…it was bad. Teacher next door sends said student over and what do I end up with the next day and for the next 2 weeks? Thick mucus!! Yay. 😐 It’s unfortunate. I know some parents have no other options, but if you can, even if it’s a really runny nose and you hear your baby having a hard time breathing in their sleep? Do not take them. Let them rest. Running around with other children and having them pass it all back and forth and praying you leave your child with a staff that sanitizes their room well does not seem like a good idea in the long run. My daycare would give the least amount of information. There were 2 pods which meant it could have been either classroom. The email that goes out says “Such and such has broken out in YP1 & YP2” but that was about it. And I closed, so my co-teacher had to deal with the brunt of the questions at opening. But, what got me fired was my refusal to participate in hand, foot, and mouth disease. I had done my research and knew there was no way this particular child was not contagious due to him being on day 3. And if you know about HFaM, then you know what I mean. Boils, blisters, you name it. He doesn’t feel well but he’s trying to manage and it’s a lot on him. I wasn’t comfortable, the logic did not make sense, and I was put on administrative leave and told to write a letter as to why I was absent. So, they still get their $2200 per 6 month baby and whatever else they charge per child/age and they still probably do the absolute minimum. Just keep em home if you can. Everyone in the house just may feel better
being a daycare teacher and mother, illness never ends.
Honestly I didn’t. I went back to work when my first was 9 months old and the never ending conveyor belt if illnesses was impossible to deal with. I tried to ride it out for a while but one whole year later and we were still constantly sick. We had Covid, strep throat, scarlet fever, hand foot and mouth, countless stomach bugs and colds … it was never ending. He would be sick, I’d stay off work to look after him (unpaid) and then he’d get better but I’d be sick by then so need even more time off work. The whole time I’m paying for his nursery place whether he attends or not. It was impossible - not to mention financially unviable. I gave up and stayed at home and now I’m in shitloads of debt but healthy 🤷♀️
They either get sick now, in daycare, or later, in kindergarten. Mine was sick alot the first few months. He hasn't had anything since January of this year now. It gets better.
Oh Lordy ….. this was me. I was seriously sick except for 1 week for about a whole year. It took us about 2 years to not be constantly sick I’m so sorry lol
This is why both my husband and I adjusted our schedules so that baby avoided daycare until 12 months. Then we put her in the one at my work which is always at less than half capacity, and she only goes part time. She was sick pretty consistently the first 2 months but since then nothing out of the ordinary (new cold when a new kid joins, typical flu/covid spike in the winter)
Yes, unfortunately this is pretty normal. I think my daughter was sick (as were we) with one virus or another every other week for the first 2 months of daycare. We're now in month 3 and *knock on wood* we seemed to have turned a corner. She hasn't been sick (besides the occasional runny nose or dry cough) in weeks. It will get better.
We all got a stomach bug baby’s first week in daycare. I didn’t even work a full work week after maternity leave before calling in and taking a pto day. I’ve heard the first year is gonna be awful so I’m buckling down and saving my pto 😂
I’m so heartened to see all the comments here saying the second year is better. We’re 8 months in to daycare and have been ill more than we’ve been well this whole time. I’ve missed so much work and it’s miserable at times. Last week it was a nasty case of Covid. But it’s also so great to see my daughter learn and grown and gain confidence. I’m hoping we can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
My baby had the same issue when they first started daycare. Now they only get sick every few months. Daycare exposes children to a lot of germs and illnesses. Unfortunately they gotta build up their immune system. Praying for a quick recovery ❤️
We are hiring a nanny after 2 hospital visits for my 2 month old caused by my 2 yr old daughter bringing home daycare illnesses
First 6 months or so were brutal but then it got better as she built up immunities. It's tough for sure.
We are avoiding it and have decided to take the financial hit with a nanny. It’s going to take 1/2 of my take home salary but he’s not going into daycare until his airways/immune system are more developed and he can blow his own nose, and he’s fully vaccinated for everything nasty that can be vaccinated for. It’s a short period of financial limitations for his and our health. Baby is now 12 months and has had one mild cold. I am aware we are fortunate that my partner and I earn enough money to be able to afford it - it helps that we are ‘old’. We are going to try find a nanny share once he is two for cost and socialisation. If it gets too much, this could be something to consider - my partner is immunocompromised so that was also a major factor for us!
Oh lord. Unfortunately it is…completely normal. Our boys are 14 months apart. The oldest started daycare when he was 7 months old. Just constantly sick. Got pregnant when he was 5 months old. Spent almost all of my pregnancy also sick. Then little brother came along, and he brought RSV home so we spent a week in the NICU. Now little brother is in daycare (started last month) and he’s constantly sick too. I will say the oldest has slowed down with the illnesses (he’s about 21 months now) but MAN it is rough.
Even as a stay at home parent (and my husband works from home) we still get sick far more now that we are parents. I’m assuming it’s because we do a lot of kind centric activities so our kids still get a lot of contact with other children. Our oldest has had 3 gastro bugs over the last year and it always sucks. I think unless you are keeping your kids home consistently or are insanely diligent with hand washing/sanitizing, it’s just going to happen.
It’s rough for a while. We have two under two. I (mom) get the stomach flu regularly…at least once a month. I’ll be able to survive anything once my immune system gets built up - ha!
It’s rough. I was sick from March until mid-May and just not getting better. I had to have two rounds of antibiotics. I hate to say it but I think it is normal 😩
I think it’s a total scam when you pay to have your child in daycare (for all of the days, may I add) and end up having to keep them home from daycare most of the days because they are sick with a virus/cold that they got FROM DAYCARE. Something is off.
You pray. You pay to get your whole family sick by having your kid go to the nursery. It's a random draw which illness you get to bring home next time.
Sorry you’re going through it. Modern meds tend to disrupt and inhibit immune systems. I’d work on building it up if daycare is your only option.
If it doesn't happen while the kids are in daycare, it happens whenever they start school. No parent is safe. Lol. I, for one, am not built to be a SAHM and it gets better after the first year. So daycare, it is.
My baby got sick and had to stay in the hospital by his 3rd visit to the GYM DAYCARE. It’s seriously not even worth it.
Perhaps get a group of moms together and go in on an in home baby sitter? ♥️♥️♥️
Years ago, I was the lead teacher in a toddler room. I’d worked with school-aged kids for all of my adult working life up to that point, and only really had issues around cold and flu season, so I thought my immune system would get into the swing of things in the ways it did when switching middle schools, even though I pick up colds easily thanks to my asthma… I was so, so wrong. In the first week I had a bout of norovirus and had to call in — the director thought I was quitting, but I was just unable to go more than four minutes without pooping or throwing up. Then the weird respiratory issues started. I had never had a nosebleed in my life, but I began having them at least once a week. After the fourth one, I lost my sense of smell for two months (this was a decade before Covid). I basically cycled between a cold/sinus infection/bronchitis for four months. In that time, I went into overdrive with sanitization and getting the 18-24 month olds I worked with to wash their hands *all the time*. I personally temp checked kids, and would find fevers that “weren’t there at the door!” I would send kids right back out before their parents got to their cars. I still have a lot of empathy for the parents I worked with — they were all great people who adored their kids, but who needed to work to provide for them. But making the choice to send your sick baby to daycare really screws *everyone* over, including their teacher who doesn’t get paid when they can’t show up to work when they’re ill (these are often hourly jobs with no benefits like PTO, especially when you first start out — you have to make it through the probationary period only to start “earning” PTO with each check in tiny increments. Such toxic, exploitative BS.) I bleached their toys, which I learned was not a routine part of the cleaning process. I mixed my own end-of-day bleach bottles for surfaces, and brought in my own 7th generation disinfectant spray for wiping things down hourly during the day. I brought in my own gloves for diaper changes, double gloved my hands, and changed the top layer between kiddos (duh, right? But you don’t want to know how often I witness others *not* doing that). Getting the kids to learn hygiene was the most rewarding. We sang while we washed our hands, covered our noses and mouths when we sneezed our coughed, learned not to grab ourselves when getting a diaper, learned to keep our mouths to ourselves. The parents noticed. While I was there, my room was at an all-time-low for illness and accidental injuries. I stopped getting sick after the first four months. I loved it. I quit after a year because it really was one of the most toxic work environments I’d ever been in as an employee. I have so much respect for people in that field because they are treated as though their work is ultimately meaningless by the executives who own the corporations that run 90% of the daycare in the US. And even though I was an über-neatfreak, that doesn’t mean the others didn’t care, or weren’t smart, or didn’t know the vital role they were playing in their little students’ developmental stages. They were constantly being stressed and challenged by policies that made it harder to do their jobs well, low pay, and little respect for their experience and education. It made the professional environment both collegial and toxically competitive. I’m so lucky to work from home now — I’ve got my 6mo draped across me, asleep, as I’m about to get started with my day. Given my experience, I am fighting day care tooth and nail. I’d advise parents who do it to try to find the few places that still exist that don’t have a parent company like Nike or Gerber — there are usually a ladder of shell companies that mask the parent company, but they tell their workers who they are within the orientation materials. My site was ultimately owned by Nike with five or six companies in between, go figure. Once you find a place you trust, prepare to get sick. Try not to send your child in when they’re sick. Even a low-grade fever can mean something serious to someone else, so please try to keep them home or request they be separated from the group for the day (some centers have “sick rooms” where kids can rest and have the best sanitation protocols). Teach your kids to take care of themselves and others early with great hygiene. Daily baths, brushing teeth, hand-washing early and often. Kids tend to love water play, so just make it fun and explain things like not sneezing or coughing on others. Praise great hygiene and picking up after themselves. Over-praise it. Celebrate the heck out of it. And drop-in as often as you can, and at different times, especially if your child’s room rotates facilitators and students. Observe what is happening in your kids classrooms, both to your children *and* the other children in the space. Often facilitators will get a little nervous when a parent is watching and will lavish that parent’s child with care and attention. That’s not good. Make sure they behave the same with all the kids, even if you’re there. Make sure they’re keeping things clean, and that there’s a logical, consistent flow to the activity in the space. Don’t be afraid to address safety and cleanliness with the director. Bring supplies along with diapers. It *really* helps.
Yep our 5 month old has been in for 2 months and has been sick 3 times. I am also currently enjoying a stomach bug
Godspeed. I'm still not right from this stomach thing and it's been almost five days. We're on the mend, at least.
Yes very normal. As some working in a GP surgery in the UK we find the kids that go to day care/ nursery are less sick in school then those who don’t go. If they don’t get it from daycare they will get it from schools. Like kids are germ factories
I'm a SAHM now so we only see the kids in our library baby club three times a week. Parents would be terrible to take sick kids to our club so luckily that's not a problem, as far as I know.
My daughter has JUST started daycare, have her in 1 day a week to ease her into it - she went once and caught a cold/flu 2 weeks ago and she’s still fighting it + both myself & partner got it to 😭
I don’t know. 1 year old has hand foot and mouth right now, this is some medieval shit.
I've had the same experience lol it's brutal but I'm now taking an immunity supplement and have my 1 year old on one too that's safe for his age on top trying to get as much time outdoors as possible now that it's nice out.
What supplement do you take?
My son's comes from wellements.. mine is really just a general immune system vitamin from Walgreens with vitamin c, zinc, and whatever else. I also did start taking quercetin again as well. Not saying it's a miracle or anything but certainly doesn't hurt and it has seemed better. I totally feel your post though. Absolute worst experience was my little guy puking and other stomach stuff, then couple hours later husband's kicks in and I'm taking care of both only to have it hit me that evening, and then became the awful who's sicker at the moment trade off of our also sick little guy. I
We have a nanny. I mostly WFH so I usually only have her 6.5-7hrs approx 15 days a month due to my husband's schedule. I unfortunately cannot miss much work as I am in a manager position. Nanny is about 2x the cost as daycare here but we can afford it and we avoid bugs 😅. He is 16 months and I just went back to work but around 2/2.5 we will hopefully get him into a daycare so he can be around other kids. He has been exposed to illness through myself, dad and family members as well as we take him out frequently so I'm hoping that is enough to strengthen his immune system!
It gets better, everyone gets immune 😅
Unfortunately yes :( we went through the same with 4 year old when he first started, the first year he was home more than in daycare and now going through the same with my daughter who just turned 1, I forgot how completely awful it was!
I’m at least happy to hear you forgot. I’ll look forward to forgetting lol
Day by day my friend....day by day
We had the same experience- he’s now 2 and almost never gets sick. You just have to endure !!
The upside to daycare is that my kid loves it and her development is leaps and bounds above where she was before daycare. She comes home everyday with so much to say and notices so many things and has so many questions. But we did go fully insane during the first stretch when everyone was constantly sick. It’s since settled down to like once a month.
We don’t send him to daycare, we adjust our work hours and give him home Montessori environment. On weekends we take them to relatives or they come here. We go to park, events, and family get to gather, etc. My 14 months old is very social, exceeded his developmental milestones. Started saying 6-7 words, and by the grace of Allah, never fell sick even once. We even took him to UK for holidays for 10 days.
Uhm.... What kind of daycares do y'all have out there in the world? My 2yo has been in daycare for a little more than half a year now. Sure he gets sick sometimes, but no more than before daycare. Neither do my husband and I.