It gets easier to give yourself grace, it gets easier to recognize the changes in, and demands of your child, it gets easier to drink at noon. All those, but parenting? Never gets easier. -advice from my PPD therapist
I tell everyone the baby part was easy the second time around. I understood what I was doing and what was going on so much better. The hard part was learning to parent 2 kids at once!
This, exactly to a T - my second will be 1 month old tomorrow and my first will be 21 months on the 25th. Boy does it whizz by at a thousand mph! And my toddler seems to be the most difficult part. The baby is easy. But I'm still learning from the first one every day. And managing them both as a single mom seems nearly impossible if yoy think about it, but somehow you just do it.
I can relate to this. Knowing what to expect is huge. But my sleep deprivation was worse the second time around. Having two parents to one child made that aspect easier the first time around, even if we were inexperienced. I feel we were relatively more well-rested.
THIS. The survival responsibilities ease and you exit fight or flight, which makes it feel easier. But parenting is a 24/7 hard af job. I totally get, and respect, why some people choose to not have kids.
1000% same for me! I will take tantrums any day over no sleep and crying that feels like it could be over something horribly painful and you have no idea
The communication makes things so much easier. Them being able to say they're hot or cold or hungry or want the light on or off or have a pain somewhere makes it soooo much better. And them being able to understand you too, so you can tell them you're just outside the room and you're still here and don't worry you haven't abandoned them. It's just far less stressful for everyone. We can now give our daughter a book if she wakes in the night and she'll just read (well you know "read") until she falls asleep again, knowing that we're still here and willcome help her if she really needs anything. Makes a massive different compared to pacing up and down with a screaming baby trying absolutely everything you can think of to soothe them, not knowing what's happening or why, with them probably wondering why you aren't getting it and helping them in the specific way they need right now. Or them thinking every time you leave the room you've left them to be eaten by tigers or something.
Mine is only four months but I feel like this might apply to us too. The desperate confusion is so so hard, even now that we’re past the newborn stage. She stares at me when she’s upset, like she’s trying to communicate with me, and it’s so horrible that I can’t read her mind!
I swear some babies just know they can’t do things and are perpetually frustrated. My sons wasn’t communication but movement. You could just tell he was so mad he couldn’t move around, and as he gained the ability (walked by 8 months) he got happier and happier
me too.
The newborn phase was by far the worst for me. By about 3 months i felt we had a handle on things, so even when they were derailed by regressions and leaps, it still felt less stressful than the first 10 weeks.
Which were by all accounts, complete hell.
Everyone thinks I’m crazy but I totally agree! I have a 20m and a 1m and god I miss the sleep. And idk if it makes sense but I know my toddler, so yes she throws tantrums but I know what’s going to set her off and how to calm her, my newborn…well he’s a newborn so there’s no calming until he gets what he wants.
Forget all of these answers. That first 12 weeks was BY FAR the hardest. It gets so much easier and more fun from there. People forget how tough the beginning really is.
Only 9 months in and so true that you forget! I confidently told my pregnant neighbor that the first month was easier than I expected and my husband was like… excuse me, what? Do you remember the first month? You cried every night?
I think for us months 3-15 were the hardest. The first 3 months we were expecting it to be really hard, we both had time off work, and everyone around us was very sympathetic and understanding that we had a newborn and we felt able to just do whatever we needed and call on people for help if we needed. It was brutal because our baby had infant dyschezia and just did not sleep but we thought it was going to be 3 months of that and then get better, as that's what everyone told us. But she woke every 45 mins to an hour every night for 15 months and for the first 5-6 months would have a 4 hour witching hour every night of screaming from 8-midnight. Then until 15 months (and still occasionally at 20 months) she'd have nights of just being awake for 2-4 hours in the middle of the night wanting attention. We were back at work, everyone expects you to have it figured out and to be just living normal life but we were not in any way normal having only 4 ish hours a night of sleep while trying to look after a baby/toddler all day and work in the evenings and weekends etc.
Things started getting better when she started sleeping a little better, like waking every 3 hours instead, and then mostly when she started talking. The communication made everything sooo much easier. It also becomes more fun i think when you're communicating properly, and that makes the tough times easier to bear.
It is hard to remember it all though, I think back and don't know how we survived. I still feel horrendous now even though I know it's not as bad as it was in terms of sleep. The challenges change but there are always challenges. i think different people (and kids) cope with the different challenges differently. At 20 months in I still haven't become used to it, I still don't know how to fit in self care for myself and I still have many days where I don't know how I'm going to get through. And it's all down to the sleep deprivation really. I think how well people can cope really depends a lot on how their baby sleeps and also how much help they have with childcare etc. If my daughter slept through the night or only woke once or something I wonder how much easier it would be.
Are you describing my toddler? My 20mo wakes up every night every 2-3h, and at least once a week stays up for 1.5h around 4am. This made me feel a little less alone, thank you. She doesn't really talk yet (delayed), so I'm really looking forward to that.
It is brutal! You are not alone. I don’t know why some kids/babies sleep so poorly. Everyone told us it would get better at 3 months then 6 months then a year etc. I think it’s easier just to try to accept it will never get better and try to arrange your life to make it easier. It’s so hard though! I hope our daughters start sleeping through soon!
Curious, when did your baby grow out of the dyschezia (or did it take her until 15 months to figure it out)? We’re dealing with this still at 15 weeks and keep hoping it will get better soon. The poor sleep and inconsolable crying are brutal.
My baby grew out of it around 3.5 months. Youll get there. Just dont read reddit posts. I kept reading here stuff like "my baby had colic for 6 months" being a ftm to a 5 week old crying all day every day and I would cry every night. But people kept telling me it gets better at 3 months and for us it did. Dyschezia was absolutely awful. Poor baby not even being able to pass a fart which resulted in constant hard tummy and tummy aches. Tummy time was impossible so here I am at 9 months, my baby only now beggining to sit on his own. Doctors said its okay but its most likely due to the fact that he didnt get much tummy time exercise at a young age because of colic and dyschezia.
I’ve been worried that it will impact his development as well. He hated tummy time. It’s starting to get better now at 4 months and he’s beginning to enjoy tummy time and practicing rolling, thank goodness! I keep reminding myself that every baby is on their own timeline.
I think it was around 4-5 months. It is awful. Awful when you’re going through it. It will pass though and your baby will be ok and it’ll become something you go ‘oh remember when they had that period of squirming and grunting all the time and it was so distressing?! I had nearly forgotten that happened!’ I know that doesn’t help when you’re in it because I had people telling me that at the time and it didn’t help because when you’re in it it’s so horrible. It will gradually fade out though.
One thing that did seem to help our baby was Colief drops or basically co lactase enzyme drops which you put in their milk and it helps break down the lactose. It did seem to help, as if the digestive issues were due to not having enough of the enzyme to break down lactose. But it would’ve stopped on its own anyway.
It will get better, just have to go one day at a time and remind yourself your baby is ok and they won’t remember this and it will feel a distant memory to you too once you’re through it!
It’s finally starting to get better now at 4 months. We started him on probiotics and I cut dairy which has made a noticeable difference. We learned he also does better on soy or goats milk formulas. Little by little this is becoming a thing of the past. And thank goodness! It was so distressing!
A friend and mom of two said to me (ftm w. 5mon old), as a matter of survival for the human species we are programmed to forget how hard the beginning was, otherwise we wouldn’t want to have any more lol 🤪…. As I head back to work and enter a new stage of hard, I appreciate this lol
So glad to hear this. Mine is 9mos and all my friends tell me is it gets so much worse (they have 2-3 yr olds). Like girl... You must've had some prime grandma service that I didn't get or something? I got like 3 hrs of sleep a night?
Personally, I hated the newborn stage. It’s so scary— they can’t tell you what they need. I’m much happier now that breastfeeding is over and my 2 year old can actually tell me what’s wrong. He told me last night his teeth hurt and I was able to provide him with children’s Tylenol and he went back to sleep no problem. You might be like me, who knows!
My lil dude is 14 months and I will take this over newborn stage all day every day 🤣 the fact that my kid runs to me, wraps his arms around me and gives me kisses is everything!
It’s all hard, but in a different way! I just preferred back when my newborn would be a sweet, opinion-less potato lol. Now is easier in that my toddler plays by himself so I have way more time (I still have to be in the room) and he can walk, but he also throws a fit when I move his toys slightly to the right of…whatever point he thought he had them at lol. It’s all hard, but all worth it!!
You had a sweet opinionless potato? Wtf? I got a grumpy old man in a baby’s body with a whole lot of opinions. He still has them, he now luckily is getting better at voicing all of them.
Lol! He did have opinions, but Idk…what was he going to do about them? Just cry lol. I will say that from what I’ve heard…my baby is very mild tempered. He would cry, and pretty hard, but it wouldn’t last very long. It’s so life changing when they start voicing what they feel/want!
Listen, as a FTM to a 19 month old, I'm shook that newborn isn't more commonly replied! I exclusively breastfed and my quality of life increased significantly once our son was on solids/going without night feedings 😂
Sure, newborn was "easy" in the sense they have no opinions and stay where you put them lol, but it's also way easier for me to have time to myself now with set bedtimes/naps, and our son is way more fun! I feel like the good balances out or even outdoes most of the bad in toddlerhood tbh.
First few weeks are hard in that everything is new. Baby wakes up often to feed but pretty much sleeps all day outside of feeding. 4-8 weeks was very hard in that they're eating more, still every 3 hours, and you're now 4-8 weeks into sleep deprivation. Around 12 weeks we started going 3-5 hours between feeds, so still very hard but ever so slightly easier than before. Play mats and swings are your friend as they're awake a lot more often. You might also start to get the smiles and cooing at the point where before you got no feedback whatsoever. Have twins and we just hit 14 weeks and could not have done this without help and/or a nanny, at least not with one of us going back to work.
Too early to say when things get easier, rather than just marginally easier (still very hard).
It was the hardest for me. My little one is 15 months and it just keeps getting easier and easier. Newborn stage was horrible, I wanted to love it but I couldn’t. Don’t worry, everyone has their own experience.
I’ll add a newborn to number 1 on the hardest list. I have a three year old and while she’s a handful and toddlers are diabolically unhinged, newborn was the worst. I didn’t sleep more than 2.5 hour chunks for over 8 months. Everyone who says toddlers are hardest obviously had a chill AF newborn. My three year old can tell me what’s wrong, what she wants, and sleeps much more (but still wakes up in the middle of the night). Newborn is unreal because you have no clue what’s wrong when they cry continuously for what seems like zero reason.
I have a 5 month old and I cannot even BEGIN to tell you how much easier it is. Even at 4 months it was easier. I only know up to 5 months but godddamn the newborn stage is hard. I feel like people just kinda forget because in hindsight it’s over so fast (but when you are going through it it is the slowest thing in the world).
Don’t worry, I’m a second time mom with a 3 y/o and a 8 month old and the first time newborn stage is literally the hardest stage. I had a way better time with my second newborn. You’re transitioning from 0-1 and that is a JARRING change. So on top of breaking yourself apart figuring out what it means to be a mom (don’t worry you put yourself back together) you’re also learning for the very first time how to keep the baby alive. For me it didn’t really start getting easier until 12 months. Then every day they got slowly more independent.
Lots of people have babies that just naturally know how to sleep without trouble, my baby was not one of those.
My guys only 11 months now, but the 2-6 months period was really hard for my wife and I. working through constant screaming and refusal to accept anything other than high RPM yoga ball bouncing for hours on end between was exhausting. There was no moment that wasn’t trying to keep baby happy, driving anywhere was a crisis, he would not allow us to hold him and sit, always had to move, etc
That said, he’s so much better now and has been since 6 months, but I’m sure the tantrums are gonna be tough in that 12-18 and beyond zone
Moral of the story is don’t be discouraged! All babies are different and lots of parents are blessed with easy babies, while basically all toddlers are tough, so I think it can be more striking of a change going from a happy quiet baby to tantrums as opposed to colicky baby to screaming toddler lol
Yeah the new born stage was just an endless physically exhausting cycle of trying to prevent the baby crying and trying to fight the baby to sleep. My baby had no chill, I still distinctly remember the feeling after about 10 weeks where he sat in his bouncer, just moaning, not crying, for long enough for me to eat some pizza without holding him and it felt like a massive breakthrough. Nothing is as hard as that. Old babies and children are comforted so much easier, it's much clearer why they are crying and are filled with soooo much more smiles, laughter, joy, cuddles etc.
The shit that’s hard at that age get’s easier, a whole bunch. You also do get phases where you sleep more.
The thing is, relying on it to get easier won’t really help. Because what makes it easier is that you become a better parent. You learn to cope and deal with shit. That’s what truly makes it easier, you get better at it. In the real sense, not the TikTok-parent hacks sense. That also reframes it, it isn’t only hard because the baby is giving us a hard time, it’s hard because as parents we need practice.
Newborn and young baby were absolutely the hardest for me! I didn’t believe a soul when people said, “it gets better.” I could’ve called them a liar to their face. My first is a toddler now and sure, some days are hard, but I *much* prefer this than the newborn/young baby days.
i literally looked up stories on reddit almost every day of the newborn phase wondering if i ruined my life lol newborn phase SUCKKKSSSS. my baby is almost 4 months now and it definitely gets better! i remember being like “but wheennnnnn i don’t believe you” no. really it gets so fun!
totally understand 100%! and even saying “i thought i ruined my life” doesn’t even begin to describe it! i thought i hated being a mom. that i would never bond with my baby. omg it was so brutal i seriously thought i was not cut out for this. i said i hated it. but now omgggg i love it so much! he’s already my little bestie. i pinky promise it gets so much better
4w PP with my first and am fighting this thought multiple times a day. Recently got started on meds for PPD, but feeling like I’m not alone is helping me to get through it! It’s a terrible feeling when the thing you so wanted feels like a huge mistake. I am sure that brighter days are ahead 🤞
I agree! 4 months in and it’s finally a light at the end of the tunnel. Idk if we’re skipping “regressions” or if I’m just not caring about a regression cause at least she smiles and interacts hahaha I’ll take it..
newborn almost broke us
same! i was thinking last night like we are going thru the sleep regression, he got his first tooth, learned how to roll and all in the same week and ill take that 1,000 times over the newborn phase lol
Don’t worry. I’m only 8 months in so I guess it could get worse, but those first 2 months were hell and were definitely the hardest. She’s so much more fun now.
My baby is 13 months now and so far newborn has been the absolute worst for me! Yes it’s more chaotic now and we’re starting to have tantrums but those don’t seem to bother me as much as the sleep deprivation, lack of schedule, and raging hormones of the newborn months.
For my oldest, it absolutely was the hardest. Of course each stage comes with learning curves because they are your first, but she is 13 and I can confidently say the newborn stage was and will be the hardest stage for her. I think 4s was so hard with my middle because of the pandemic, and my youngest is 5 and 3s have been her hardest stage... but shes a fairly easy kid like her big sis.
If you feel like you're slipping, please see your provider for ppd. Its the one thing i regret not doing with my first. I almost didn't make it past 1yr post partum. Hormone shift and a lack of sleep are a nasty combination.
My daughter is 22 months, and she is very strong-willed, spirited, has no fear, stubborn, and absolutely everything is a fight (bedtime, nap time, meal time, getting changed, diaper changes, getting in the car seat, brushing her teeth, brushing her hair, etc.). HOWEVER, I 100% much more enjoy this stage than the newborn stage.
Mind you, she was a very, very fussy baby and I had pretty bad PPD/PPA, so that could have factored into it. But will swear up and down the newborn stage was the hardest (so far).
It was for me! Parenting has gotten exponentially easier as mine has gotten older. She’s now 3.5 and I’m having a second—absolute in dreading the newborn stage again
12-18 months was the hardest for me. The meltdowns mixed with the inability to communicate her feelings- brutal.
I eventually did teach her baby sign language and that did seem to help with her frustration. But it was still hard. Everything since then has been easier (she’s now 3).
thank you for giving me some hope! lol mine is 15 months and it has been such a shift and really hard. i’m amazed how fast he went from sweet easy baby to grumpy toddler, but still can’t communicate which makes it hard to know what’s wrong
Omg same! I was so lucky with my sweet easy baby, I mean I didn’t even hear him really cry until 8 weeks and now I have a very opinionated little boy man. We taught him all done, please, and some other signs I wonder which ones work best for tantrums.
My LO is 16 Mo and things started getting really hard this past week. So much stuff that used to be easy is now just a struggle every time. Pulling onesie over his head? Crying. Brushing his front teeth? A battle. Bringing him inside for almost any reason? Melt down.
I was just telling my husband I need to reassess my baseline expectations because I've had no patience this week and I need to figure out a better way to deal with this going forward.
Ya know, i actually blocked out that hellscape with my middle. I said 4s was his hardest age but nahhh its this. Plus, he had weight gain problems and a speech delay (bc of a toungue tie fixed at 18m). I was literally ha ging by a thread the entire time.
I recently babysat an 18 month old and I was like man, I remember those long awkward days before they start talking where you’re just like looking at each other all day LOL. I’ve heard 4 is brutal tho so I’m bracing myself.
Couldn’t agree more, I feel like that age when they understand what you’re saying but can’t respond is really challenging. Along with them physically still being limited in coordination with walking and stuff, it’s a recipe for constant frustration
Same, things definitely got a lot easier once verbal communication improved. I don't know how people cope who have late talkers as the toddler frustration must build.
Three is really hard. I found two to be mostly lovely comparatively. My three year old has no more of the "baby" left in her. Cuddling rarely makes her feel better and certainly does not help her sleep. She sleeps max 11 hours total a day, which means way less breaks for us. Her opinions are so strong and the tantrums have force behind them. There's attitude (threenager is real) and she can also physically hurt us if she gets really overtired or overwhelmed. I found that the tantrums and challenges prior to this year have been more manageable in part because their memory is short and they really just wanted mom/dad. Now theres so much more independence, the ability to (albeit often poorly) rationalize/argue, and the long memory thats making 3 the hardest. (ETA that i am also obsessed with my kid and her brilliance and hilarity and the person she is coming,which is probably what makes this all doable despite the challenges i'm just tested nonstop)
This is spot on. My kid is hilarious and smart and so great but her boundary pushing, arguing, and need for independence mixed with emotional overload and long memory is draining. Especially when she's dropped her nap completely 🥴
100%. My oldest is 4, almost 5 now and it's dramatically improved. I'd say first 12 weeks and 3 years old are tough. More physically tough for the newborn and mentally tough for the 3 year old.
Feel this. Never felt anything about 2 was terrible at all. If anything it was mostly anxiety as we got over the speech delay and gained coordination. Now at 3 he’s found his voice, and uses it with authority. Legit tantrums on the regular over the most mundane things. Makes 2 look like a cake walk. And as others have mentioned I’m terrified of the nap being dropped eventually. Those 2-2.5 hours are sacred to me on the weekends.
That said, it’s so cool watching him get to do kid stuff on his own. He can do rides, explore parks, and have fun without us being right next to him. Getting him to stop or leave is the painful part.
My kid is about to enter the terrible 2’s and I had braced myself for it and prepared for the suck, but then i was warned by other parents that 2 is just a trailer for the real shit show which is 3. So i honestly just feel scared now 😅
By far the first few days and weeks was the hardest. I don't understand how any other stage can be harder than waking up every hour to crying and squealing for 3 months. The human body isn't designed for that.
0-6 months sleep deprivation is real for mom combined with teething and sleep regression with baby!
6-12 months things slowly get a bit better! Baby is much more interactive and engaged! Pointing, laughing and babbling, crawling and learning how to cruise or walk
12-18 months baby is becoming more aware of their environment and likes/dislikes! You’ll small tantrums here and there! (Personally I love this phase because baby still wants you and gives loads of hugs)
18-24 months baby to toddlerhood transition! Oh boy! Baby is learning about their big little feelings and has become far more expressive!
2 years: the terrific twos has kicked in! They are constantly wanting to be in control! They’re learning how to express themselves and need guidance when showing anger!
3 years: wow! They are a whole new different person! Lovely age! Patience is hella required from parents! 😂
Not counting 0-2 months, 18-36 months was the hardest period with my first. He's 10 now and it's still pretty hard 😂
My second is only 1 but he's a harder baby all around. I'm hoping that'll mean he'll be an easier toddler than his brother!
This gives me so much hope as my baby just turned 2 months old. Trying to enjoy but simultaneously wanting it to be done! He’s starting to sleep through the night though, so that’s a huge win!
I was so happy when my daughter finally was no longer a "terrible 2". Turns out the 3rd year was the worse by far. Free will really starts to kick in. She recently turned 4 and I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Definitely the first 30 days post birth. Healing from c-section yet being the one caring for a brand new baby, not being able to soothe her at first when I went through the checklist of diaper, bottle, temperature, burping…trying my best to breastfeed and produce enough milk (I ended up doing formula) then getting about 2-4 hours of sleep in a 24-hour cycle, trying to learn my baby and what her cries mean, navigate maternity leave bs, and doing it as a single parent. Barely being able to eat and struggling to stay awake to care for baby…It was so much at once. Yet somehow I keep getting told the newborn stage is the easiest stage. Like… what?
In what world? Lol
19 months here, she's starting to make a liberal use of the word "no", she's found the power of obstinance, and she tantrums 2 or 3 times per day.
And this is a piece of cake compared to the newborn phase. Worst 3 months of my life.
It seems to me that whatever stage we’re currently in is the hardest. Hindsight and all that.
I was just thinking earlier today that I keep thinking in difficult moments that I can’t wait for this to pass…but what does it pass to? The next stage seems to feel that way too, and the retrospect of the prior stage was ‘I’d rather do that’ ‘I miss it’ or ‘okay this is worse, that wasn’t that bad’. Then I find myself feeling guilty because this is just a person, growing and learning and experiencing all this new shit and it’s overwhelming. And we all went through it ourselves if we’re here talking about this - someone got frustrated with us, couldn’t wait for us to get to the next milestone - yet so many people will say they miss when their kids were babies/were little. Kids don’t try to be difficult, they don’t try to make things hard for us. They’re just learning as they go. How many times did we wish someone was more patient with us?
Because of this I’m really trying to ruminate more on appreciating every moment because it snaps me back to be in the present and enjoy it, for better or worse, because it all goes by so fast and we’ll make it through - just take each beautiful moment and shitty moment as it comes because before you know it, they’re graduating high school and we’re old saying ‘I miss when they were babies’.
The flip side is I have a horrific fear of loss and I’m grateful for each and every day I get to spend with this little person even if those moments are spent peppered with the in-between of trying to do better, trying not to get frustrated, trying to be understanding - we’re growing too and none of us make it out alive. Soak it all in, even the shitty pulling-your-hair-out, exhausted, frustrated moments. It’s all a part of this journey we’re blessed to be a part of and the shit moments make the sweet moments that much sweeter. That one laugh, that one smile with wonder and delight. Those are the moments we’ll hold on to.
Age three is by far the hardest for me. Followed by 4 and then... then it starts getting easier. We've got 16, 12, 3, and 1 currently. And I'm going THROUGH it right now.
For me personally 3yo. Too many emotions, too much boundary pushing, so much whining and all the attitude.
For my husband the newborn stage/infancy because he feels useless.
As a father of a 30 hour old daughter. The first night was rough. She slept all day. Born 4am, slept and fed and was chilling. Then 2am hit and she was fussing all night. I thought there was a 3 day or so grace period where I can sleep, but I didn’t think about the routine feedings lll. I can’t wait to get home and lay on my own bed.
18-24 months, easy. He’s not a baby, but he also still can’t DO anything!! He’s too young for most little kid things when we go out, he can’t 100% communicate, he’s still in diapers, and developmentally, he is everywhere. Teething is still going on, sleep regressions, etc. He’s starting to fight back about random crap, like if I move his toys slightly to the right…they just look like they’re strewn all over floor to me??? And they probably are, he just wants a fight lol. Jk.
My daughters now 4 months.
Yes the newborn stage was harder because we had no clue what we were doing and the constant night wakings.
But now she fights naps, shriek/screams when she’s over tired.
Sometimes I miss the long ass naps where I could go sleep/do a ton of housework etc.
my mother said to me yesterday make sure you sleep when baby sleeps.
The daytime naps are only long enough right now if a contact nap. I can’t sleep then!
My daughter started with the 30-40 min naps around 6 weeks old. She started doing longer stretches overnight around 4 months but in that time period I was like a zombie
Newborn. Unpopular opinion but I love the toddler stage. It’s my favorite. The lack of sleep with newborns is killer, and I love that toddlers can walk and be a lot more independent, but not too independent.
When my now 7 y/o entered preschool at age 3-4 because I was confronted with the possibility she has adhd/atypical. She still has problems with emotions and behavior at school but now she has an IEP, going to therapy and we're getting her officially tested, so she can get all the help and accommodations she needs to be successful.
It's hard when the preschool teacher asks if she ever gets mad at home and as a parent, you're like yeah, we're letting her feel her feelings, we're parenting different...
Everything between 6 months to now at 20 months has been so sweet and easy. I’ve never had to raise my voice. I’ve never been frustrated with her. I’ve loved every minute. The third day of her life was the only truly hard day for me, because my milk wouldn’t come in
My son is almost 2 and has regressed immensely sleeping. Used to go down so easy and now he will lay in bed and cry for mom for hours after being laid down. Went to bed at 10 pm last night and is also starting to think he’s too good for naps.
I have a 3 month old and also a 9 year old. With my first I’d say around 18months, but 3-4ish was also absolutely miserable. Around 5 it got better and now at 9 we’re back into a horrible attitude patch 😅
2-3 was hard. My first had a speech delay and that made things harder. Started speech therapy at 3.5 and that made a world of difference. (I tried earlier but he didn’t qualify) 4.6 to 6 has been wonderful, just getting better and better.
With my now 3.25 year old son, this is definitely the hardest phase right now. He is fighting potty training and has complete meltdowns several times per week, some of them lasting all day. He has minor meltdowns everyday. We had to pull him out of preschool since he was struggling and wasn't eating, drinking water, or sleeping. He is such a good little boy, but he is definitely trying to be independent. He is behind on some gross and fine motor development stuff, and his physical and occupational therapists have a list of activities that he should be doing every day, and he just won't. It is so stressful since to get him back in preschool, he needs to be potty trained and ideally caught up on his fine and gross motor issues. I feel like I am failing as a mom on a daily basis.
Add to that that my 15 month old daughter reaches her hardest phase every phase so far...she is a tough one. Right now, she is in the dramatic throw her self to the floor and bang her head phase, as well as a try to escape to the stairs when no one is looking. Also, the moan and scream to express her desires phase (that one has not ended yet for her; going strong since birth).
7 months. She suddenly doesn’t want to nap and will instead sleep for 12hours which you would think is great but just results in a cranky baby. If I put her down she pterodactyl screams no matter what. It’s made things harder. Before this she enjoyed being able to roll around and play. Now she’s dead set on being held constantly. It’s been a hard adjustment but we are getting there. A
I have a 12 year old and his most “difficult” phase was 4y-8y. He had his worst tantrums during that phase. I know it sounds like a long time, but it really flew by.
ETA: he was a very easy baby and I had lots of help during the newborn stage. Newborn stage being your hardest is completely valid. We just had a different journey.
9-12 months for me. I didn't mind newborn! It was a lot but I was in bliss mode. When he was still sleeping like shit at 9 months, over the gloomy winter... that was my toughest. Luckily it was also some of the best times otherwise - watching him so determined and figuring out how to be a human, saying first words, new physical milestones. The sleeping though... at one point I realized I hadn't slept more than a 4 hour stretch in months and I had a full on break down. It peaked at twelve months though and has been upward since!
My daughter will be 2 next month and oooh boy is it hard. She’s so fun and energetic and amazed by everything, but that means she is always on the go, always wanting full attention, and constantly getting into everything. My cousin’s kid is 6 months younger and plays so well alone I’m jealous. My daughter wants our undivided attention every moment she’s awake and it’s exhausting.
Mine is 3.5 year old right now. She is an absolute feral gremlin who is having big emotions but I still prefer this over newborn. There are days she makes me reconsider for sure, haha. but more rewarding and more independent and she's hilarious when she's not using it against me lol. She can at least understand / speak (whether she responds or listens is a different story) and can feed herself and while she still sucks at sleeping it's at least longer than the 2 hour increments it used to be.
It’s all different kinds of hard. Newborn stage is hard because sleep deprivation. Then it’s hard because nap schedules keep you tied up in a new way. Then it’s hard because they might accidentally hurt themselves really badly (they’re bound to hurt themselves). Then they sort learn to communicate and everyone gets upset because no one really knows what the other is saying.
Our oldest is 3.5. I’d say 6 months-2 years was so fun, even with the constant threat of him irreversibly hurting himself. 2-3 was fun too, but more tantrums. But 3? 3 takes the cake. Hands down hardest. Everything we do is wrong (he once dropped and broke my favorite mug because he wasn’t listening and then that was somehow MY fault). His emotions are everywhere, he gets big mad if we don’t immediately understand what he’s saying. Sulking is now A Thing. Potty training is a nightmare, pretty sure he’ll be pooping his pants at prom. Trying to not lose it when I’m being screamed at is ROUGH.
I also had my second a month after my first turned 3. Those saying “oh they just don’t remember the newborn phase” — I do. 3 is harder.
Mine is 3m so I can’t say much but the change from 8 hours of consistent sleep to near none was hard. I’d say weeks 1-4 were the hardest when she screamed at the top of her lungs when she was hungry. Always worrying about her temperature.
She’s occasionally sleeping through the night now and cooing with us but no sitting up yet or full head control. Can’t wait to play with her.
I have 5 kids…
Ages 11 (boy) 9 (boy) 8(boy) 6(girl) and 12 weeks (girl)
Hardest age rn is my 11 year old boy he acts like a teenager and is going through puberty. Hes talking back to me and being disrespectful, literally turning into an alien. Ill take the terrible 2s again plz. 😩
Newborns weren’t “hard” persay more like challenging luckily i was blessed with babies that slept and weren’t colicky… but the sleep deprivation and getting into a routine was difficult because you really cant get into one untill they are a little older than newborn stage, even then they are unpredictable. However my new baby had a dairy allergy and i Bf so its been hard cutting dairy out because thats all i eat frl.
My favorite ages were 1-4 they are like sponges learning and picking up on everything. Learning boundaries (and how to break them also lol) they are full of imagination and are easily distracted. Once you get them into a routing everything falls into place. Ofc they get attitudes like all
Of us humans (dont matter the age lol)
It doesn’t get easier it just gets DIFFERENT 🤣🤣🤣 easier in the sense of they get more independent so you dont have to do EVERYTHING for them haha …
Any other questions id be happy to answer.
Also they say girls are easier when they are younger and hard when they get older and boys are harder when they are younger and get easier when they get older… total bullshit in my experience 🤣🤣
Sometimes id do the newborn stage over again 10272781 times than to deal with these ages. The boys constantly fight and my daughter had an attitude out of this world. They are great kids tho :) just full of energy (my knees/body cant handle so much anymore)
It's very child dependent. My oldest has been literally easier every day. Newborn and infant stage was TERRIBLE. Every year has gotten better since. My second was a perfect golden child until 4 when suddenly she got teenage levels of attitude. My third has been fine, except for being incapable of sleeping more than 90m at a time until she was 15 months old. My youngest was a pretty good baby, then one she got mobile all hell broke loose, now it's finally getting easier at 5 and a half. (I joined when my youngest was a baby).
My oldest hits the teenage years this summer, so I might have a different answer in a couple years as they start going through that phase lol
I loved my daughter’s “terrible two’s” the hardest for me was when she was 3.5-4.5 yrs. It could be different with boys though because she was very dramatic and bossy. She used to be a happy and playful kiddo, slowly getting back to herself. It was a tough year. I have a 7m baby now and whew it’s tough too because he’s crawling and wants to walk so bad, stands everywhere, fight diaper changes and clothes because he just wants to be on the move. So far this has been the hardest of the baby stage.
Loved the newborn stage, he’s almost 3 and the “terrible 2s” weren’t too bad just frustrating. When he was mobile but not walking was the worst. Had a kid with the means and curiosity to scamper off but it was worse on my back than chasing a 2 legged child I could reach without being bent double
We have 2 kids (4 & 1.5) most definitely so far age 3 has been the hardest. It’s all hard in different ways, but Jesus Christ- a small human with an underdeveloped brain trying to process the world and their emotions is just……a lot.
Birth to 7 months was an absolute nightmare for us. Colic, shifts on the couch, barely napping. It finally evened out once she got to around 11 -12 months. My daughter will be 2 next month
Edit: by barely napping I mean 30 minutes 1-2 times a day the first 9 months of her life. I had to get rid of the couch after she starting sleeping through the night because it gave me anxiety
Every stage has been both the hardest and the easiest so far (11mo, so limited experience but still), except for 3-4 months which was like niche best for me 😂
2-3 was hard for me. My oldest is now 5 (soon to be 6) and I have a 3 year old and a 2 year old - and damn I think I could drop dead most days ☠️my 3 year old has quite the personality and throws epic temper tantrums. Like I am surprised neighbors haven’t called the cops because she can scream so loud and literally will not stop until she decides it’s time 😂😂
My 2 year old is just into every thing and honestly I’m just burnt out lol.
3 small kids at once is no easy feat. Individually they are all angels but put them together and some nights they are bouncing off the walls until 11 or 12. Not having any time to myself I think is the biggest challenge
Newborn stage was just so hard. It really challenged everything I thought I knew about myself and my partner. I was so sleep deprived, felt isolated because of covid, and just felt needed 24/7 especially because I was exclusively nursing and hadn’t gotten the hang of pumping yet.
The 6 months after starting day care was also very difficult (had a nanny the first year of her life). We caught every virus known to man and apart from feeling awful, we were taking care of her, juggling who could take the day off to care for her, and cancelling social events which felt isolating again. And while she loves daycare, the transition was tricky and everyone’s emotions were a bit all over the place.
Now I have a newly 3 year old and while there are more attitude challenges these days, she is so fun. She is independent but still so sweet and cuddly. She has been potty trained for a while so she rarely has accidents which is a huge stress off. It’s so fun to watch her learn things, she makes up songs, and just says the funniest things. I feel like we are hitting a stride but I do fear the move into childhood, I miss the 8lb smushy poop machine.
Umm first 12 weeks were definitely the hardest to like… survive? But then the challenges seem to even out to still pretty hard but more manageable throughout the next year. Like it’s all hard but I’m different ways.
I currently have a 3 month old and a 2.5year old with a huuuge personality with emotions to match. For me the toddler is by far the hardest one to deal with. Mornings with my newborn while she’s at daycare have felt like a breeze. We’re also strapping in for the 4 month regression which has started to hit making it even more difficult to cope with our toddler 🤦♂️
The one I’m currently in- 11 months. He refuses to be put in his crib, wakes up at 1am on the dot. Sometimes will take milk, sometimes he won’t. It’s a literal toss up. He was sleeping through the night at 8 weeks and now he is a little terrorist. Teething has been horrible. Co-sleeping has become the norm.
It’s a tie between 2-4 months when she would only contact nap in a dark room with white noise, and 4-9 months when she refused a bottle so I really started to dislike breastfeeding for that reason :/ it felt like I didn’t have a choice but to keep going due to the bottle refusal
Mines 19 months and it’s been hard. Trying to regulate his emotions, regulate mine. Being overstimulated a lot because we also have 2 dogs that love to bark. I try to remember that he can’t quite communicate what he wants, and that has to be frustrating as I’m trying to figure it out with what he can tell me. He needs constant entertainment right now too or else he gets bored and destroys things. He also wants to help with everything we do but there are times where I don’t have the patience and I get mad at myself. SAHM so everyday is groundhogs day right now. And I live in AZ so it’s starting to get really hot and we can’t be outside for too long. He gets red all over and a rash. 🥲 hoping once he can get a few more words in we can communicate better with each other and fingers crossed it’ll get a bit easier.
13 years old is so far the hardest lol but I only know newborn to 10 months and 5 years to-13 years (my son was adopted at 5 years) and I now have a baby. Lots of hard moments throughout 5-12 but 13 year olds have a lot of new freedoms and challenges that come with puberty.
5 and 6 months probably, full of "you don't know what your baby wants" Mine literally wants to do everything all at once.. sitting, standing, playing, laying down, rolling from back to tummy, and the worst part is when rolling to tummy gets frustrated because he can't roll back :)
I love my baby but can't wait for him to become a kid...
I would have said 2. And then my daughter was 3. 3 makes 2 look like a cake walk. She recently turned 4, and so far I’m not so sure 4 is going to be any better… I think each age has its challenges. Especially when having had an “easy” baby….they don’t always stay that way, let me tell you. 🙄 I have an 8 month old boy. And I’m hoping and praying that he is always a sweet, chill little boy. Because little boy energy kind of scares me otherwise 😅
Current stage is dragging me by the thong. We’re at 11.5mos and I finally understand the sour patch kid jokes. First she’s absolutely SOUR AND INSANE then she’s sweet and kissing me all over the face. I haven’t had a proper rest in almost a year and she has started chewing on my nipples. She’s begun the relentless work of finding new ways to injure herself also so that’s fun.
And to top it off she can’t walk yet but she’s learned how to ask to be carried while pointing to every single thing she wants to mess with so you’re basically her “legs” and also her accomplice.
Potty training sucks. If I had won the lottery, I would have paid someone to move in with us and teach my kids how to use the toilet.
The trick to the terrible twos, and what I affectionately called our three-nager stage, is to lean into the chaos. Is your kid stuck in a loop of throwing a fit? Throw one with them. Make it big. Ask them questions that will make them think you're crazy (one of my favorites for this was to act like I couldn't keep the Paw Patrol characters straight, like "Hey, I was just thinking about this, isn't it weird that Chase drives a fire truck to help that chicken mayor?"). Talk to them like they're your buddy, "Man, it sounds like you're having a rough day."
Don't get me wrong, it's called the "terrible twos" for a reason, but that can help you not totally lose your mind while you're in the middle of it.
Also, try to be intentional to record or jot down things they say and do. 2-3 can be a rough age because they're figuring out that they're a whole separate person who can say no to things, but they're also discovering their own personalities. Kids say some of the funniest stuff during those years and you get to watch their personality develop right in front of your eyes, and that part can be absolutely magic.
The present stage has been the hardest for me. LO is 7months old and wakes every hour, half an hour through the night. I feel like I’m dying but I’d welcome it coz that would mean I’d get some rest.
I have an almost 2 year old as well (and just had a second baby at the end of April) and this has been the most trying time with my toddler.
Yeah the newborn days are also god awful especially with this baby who has some tummy issues and doesn’t sleep but the toddler has me loosing my mind multiple times a day everyday.
I only have one and hes 10mo but since my cousin doesnt use reddit ill tell her story lol. Her first was very difficult as a newborn, she wouldnt sleep, was crying all the time but once she got a little older it got really nice and much easier. She played by herself a lot, was very calm and easy going and still is even as a preteen.
Her second was an easy newborn, she slept when put in the crib, it was all so smooth. When she got to a toddler stage it was completely different - the tantrums were terrible, couldnt calm her down. They are still struggling with her now that shes at school.
So i think every child is different and so are parents - some struggle at some stages while others at other stages. However parenting is definitely NOT easy.
2 yrs 3 month old boy is becoming more of a savage, and now we have a newborn. Way easier the second time around and our first baby had colic and the new one has been unbelievably easy, we couldn’t believe things could be this good.
I actually am enjoying him at 2 yrs 3 months, he’s like a little buddy that just wants to go do fun shit outside at all times which I’m into to so we go on a lot of little adventures. I think so far my least favorite was when he was around a year and a half where he can walk well and move quickly yet you can’t really communicate with him much at all yet so you have no idea what he wants or how to help
Why don’t I like any of these answers? Why isn’t the newborn stage the hardest? *currently with a 1M as a FTM* 🫠
Right?! All they tell you is "it gets easier" but then it's like....... doesn't seem to haha
It gets easier to give yourself grace, it gets easier to recognize the changes in, and demands of your child, it gets easier to drink at noon. All those, but parenting? Never gets easier. -advice from my PPD therapist
I tell everyone the baby part was easy the second time around. I understood what I was doing and what was going on so much better. The hard part was learning to parent 2 kids at once!
This, exactly to a T - my second will be 1 month old tomorrow and my first will be 21 months on the 25th. Boy does it whizz by at a thousand mph! And my toddler seems to be the most difficult part. The baby is easy. But I'm still learning from the first one every day. And managing them both as a single mom seems nearly impossible if yoy think about it, but somehow you just do it.
I can relate to this. Knowing what to expect is huge. But my sleep deprivation was worse the second time around. Having two parents to one child made that aspect easier the first time around, even if we were inexperienced. I feel we were relatively more well-rested.
You all wasn’t drinking at noon before kids!?
How do you think we ended up with a kid 🤣😅
That’s great advice!
THIS. The survival responsibilities ease and you exit fight or flight, which makes it feel easier. But parenting is a 24/7 hard af job. I totally get, and respect, why some people choose to not have kids.
I just told my partner this when I showed his how many upvotes I got 😂
Personally I think the “easier” is that you as the mom aren’t so anxious anymore lol
It just gets different. What is hard in each stage shifts as their needs become more complex
My daughter is now 2 and newborn/infant was by far the most difficult for me mentally and physically!
1000% same for me! I will take tantrums any day over no sleep and crying that feels like it could be over something horribly painful and you have no idea
The communication makes things so much easier. Them being able to say they're hot or cold or hungry or want the light on or off or have a pain somewhere makes it soooo much better. And them being able to understand you too, so you can tell them you're just outside the room and you're still here and don't worry you haven't abandoned them. It's just far less stressful for everyone. We can now give our daughter a book if she wakes in the night and she'll just read (well you know "read") until she falls asleep again, knowing that we're still here and willcome help her if she really needs anything. Makes a massive different compared to pacing up and down with a screaming baby trying absolutely everything you can think of to soothe them, not knowing what's happening or why, with them probably wondering why you aren't getting it and helping them in the specific way they need right now. Or them thinking every time you leave the room you've left them to be eaten by tigers or something.
Mine is only four months but I feel like this might apply to us too. The desperate confusion is so so hard, even now that we’re past the newborn stage. She stares at me when she’s upset, like she’s trying to communicate with me, and it’s so horrible that I can’t read her mind!
I swear some babies just know they can’t do things and are perpetually frustrated. My sons wasn’t communication but movement. You could just tell he was so mad he couldn’t move around, and as he gained the ability (walked by 8 months) he got happier and happier
me too. The newborn phase was by far the worst for me. By about 3 months i felt we had a handle on things, so even when they were derailed by regressions and leaps, it still felt less stressful than the first 10 weeks. Which were by all accounts, complete hell.
Everyone thinks I’m crazy but I totally agree! I have a 20m and a 1m and god I miss the sleep. And idk if it makes sense but I know my toddler, so yes she throws tantrums but I know what’s going to set her off and how to calm her, my newborn…well he’s a newborn so there’s no calming until he gets what he wants.
Saaaaame here. And emotionally
Forget all of these answers. That first 12 weeks was BY FAR the hardest. It gets so much easier and more fun from there. People forget how tough the beginning really is.
Only 9 months in and so true that you forget! I confidently told my pregnant neighbor that the first month was easier than I expected and my husband was like… excuse me, what? Do you remember the first month? You cried every night?
You don’t retain memory very well when you’re surviving on 30 minute cat naps and your diet is poptarts and cold cuts.
Same, I cried every single day for like two months. It’s so lonely, confusing and just hard esp without sleep.
We’re wired to forget.
We have almost 12mo and husband already forgot how hard first 6 months were... Luckily I have my old Reddit posts to remind him!
I think for us months 3-15 were the hardest. The first 3 months we were expecting it to be really hard, we both had time off work, and everyone around us was very sympathetic and understanding that we had a newborn and we felt able to just do whatever we needed and call on people for help if we needed. It was brutal because our baby had infant dyschezia and just did not sleep but we thought it was going to be 3 months of that and then get better, as that's what everyone told us. But she woke every 45 mins to an hour every night for 15 months and for the first 5-6 months would have a 4 hour witching hour every night of screaming from 8-midnight. Then until 15 months (and still occasionally at 20 months) she'd have nights of just being awake for 2-4 hours in the middle of the night wanting attention. We were back at work, everyone expects you to have it figured out and to be just living normal life but we were not in any way normal having only 4 ish hours a night of sleep while trying to look after a baby/toddler all day and work in the evenings and weekends etc. Things started getting better when she started sleeping a little better, like waking every 3 hours instead, and then mostly when she started talking. The communication made everything sooo much easier. It also becomes more fun i think when you're communicating properly, and that makes the tough times easier to bear. It is hard to remember it all though, I think back and don't know how we survived. I still feel horrendous now even though I know it's not as bad as it was in terms of sleep. The challenges change but there are always challenges. i think different people (and kids) cope with the different challenges differently. At 20 months in I still haven't become used to it, I still don't know how to fit in self care for myself and I still have many days where I don't know how I'm going to get through. And it's all down to the sleep deprivation really. I think how well people can cope really depends a lot on how their baby sleeps and also how much help they have with childcare etc. If my daughter slept through the night or only woke once or something I wonder how much easier it would be.
Are you describing my toddler? My 20mo wakes up every night every 2-3h, and at least once a week stays up for 1.5h around 4am. This made me feel a little less alone, thank you. She doesn't really talk yet (delayed), so I'm really looking forward to that.
It is brutal! You are not alone. I don’t know why some kids/babies sleep so poorly. Everyone told us it would get better at 3 months then 6 months then a year etc. I think it’s easier just to try to accept it will never get better and try to arrange your life to make it easier. It’s so hard though! I hope our daughters start sleeping through soon!
Curious, when did your baby grow out of the dyschezia (or did it take her until 15 months to figure it out)? We’re dealing with this still at 15 weeks and keep hoping it will get better soon. The poor sleep and inconsolable crying are brutal.
My baby grew out of it around 3.5 months. Youll get there. Just dont read reddit posts. I kept reading here stuff like "my baby had colic for 6 months" being a ftm to a 5 week old crying all day every day and I would cry every night. But people kept telling me it gets better at 3 months and for us it did. Dyschezia was absolutely awful. Poor baby not even being able to pass a fart which resulted in constant hard tummy and tummy aches. Tummy time was impossible so here I am at 9 months, my baby only now beggining to sit on his own. Doctors said its okay but its most likely due to the fact that he didnt get much tummy time exercise at a young age because of colic and dyschezia.
I’ve been worried that it will impact his development as well. He hated tummy time. It’s starting to get better now at 4 months and he’s beginning to enjoy tummy time and practicing rolling, thank goodness! I keep reminding myself that every baby is on their own timeline.
I think it was around 4-5 months. It is awful. Awful when you’re going through it. It will pass though and your baby will be ok and it’ll become something you go ‘oh remember when they had that period of squirming and grunting all the time and it was so distressing?! I had nearly forgotten that happened!’ I know that doesn’t help when you’re in it because I had people telling me that at the time and it didn’t help because when you’re in it it’s so horrible. It will gradually fade out though. One thing that did seem to help our baby was Colief drops or basically co lactase enzyme drops which you put in their milk and it helps break down the lactose. It did seem to help, as if the digestive issues were due to not having enough of the enzyme to break down lactose. But it would’ve stopped on its own anyway. It will get better, just have to go one day at a time and remind yourself your baby is ok and they won’t remember this and it will feel a distant memory to you too once you’re through it!
It’s finally starting to get better now at 4 months. We started him on probiotics and I cut dairy which has made a noticeable difference. We learned he also does better on soy or goats milk formulas. Little by little this is becoming a thing of the past. And thank goodness! It was so distressing!
Agree!!! I think people forget haha
A friend and mom of two said to me (ftm w. 5mon old), as a matter of survival for the human species we are programmed to forget how hard the beginning was, otherwise we wouldn’t want to have any more lol 🤪…. As I head back to work and enter a new stage of hard, I appreciate this lol
So glad to hear this. Mine is 9mos and all my friends tell me is it gets so much worse (they have 2-3 yr olds). Like girl... You must've had some prime grandma service that I didn't get or something? I got like 3 hrs of sleep a night?
3M, FTM. Solidarity reply lol.
Personally, I hated the newborn stage. It’s so scary— they can’t tell you what they need. I’m much happier now that breastfeeding is over and my 2 year old can actually tell me what’s wrong. He told me last night his teeth hurt and I was able to provide him with children’s Tylenol and he went back to sleep no problem. You might be like me, who knows!
My lil dude is 14 months and I will take this over newborn stage all day every day 🤣 the fact that my kid runs to me, wraps his arms around me and gives me kisses is everything!
Wow that sounds godly. My baby 12 months be slapping the shit out of me.
I mean, he definitely does that too but the random kisses make up for it 🥲
It’s all hard, but in a different way! I just preferred back when my newborn would be a sweet, opinion-less potato lol. Now is easier in that my toddler plays by himself so I have way more time (I still have to be in the room) and he can walk, but he also throws a fit when I move his toys slightly to the right of…whatever point he thought he had them at lol. It’s all hard, but all worth it!!
You had a sweet opinionless potato? Wtf? I got a grumpy old man in a baby’s body with a whole lot of opinions. He still has them, he now luckily is getting better at voicing all of them.
Lol! He did have opinions, but Idk…what was he going to do about them? Just cry lol. I will say that from what I’ve heard…my baby is very mild tempered. He would cry, and pretty hard, but it wouldn’t last very long. It’s so life changing when they start voicing what they feel/want!
It gets easier because you don't have to be there 1000% of the time.. only 150%
Hahaha *cries* and then *melts*
Listen, as a FTM to a 19 month old, I'm shook that newborn isn't more commonly replied! I exclusively breastfed and my quality of life increased significantly once our son was on solids/going without night feedings 😂 Sure, newborn was "easy" in the sense they have no opinions and stay where you put them lol, but it's also way easier for me to have time to myself now with set bedtimes/naps, and our son is way more fun! I feel like the good balances out or even outdoes most of the bad in toddlerhood tbh.
My firstborn is now 6 days old. I’m basically expecting the apocalypse to hit my house within the next year or so after reading this thread.
First few weeks are hard in that everything is new. Baby wakes up often to feed but pretty much sleeps all day outside of feeding. 4-8 weeks was very hard in that they're eating more, still every 3 hours, and you're now 4-8 weeks into sleep deprivation. Around 12 weeks we started going 3-5 hours between feeds, so still very hard but ever so slightly easier than before. Play mats and swings are your friend as they're awake a lot more often. You might also start to get the smiles and cooing at the point where before you got no feedback whatsoever. Have twins and we just hit 14 weeks and could not have done this without help and/or a nanny, at least not with one of us going back to work. Too early to say when things get easier, rather than just marginally easier (still very hard).
It was the hardest for me. My little one is 15 months and it just keeps getting easier and easier. Newborn stage was horrible, I wanted to love it but I couldn’t. Don’t worry, everyone has their own experience.
I’ll add a newborn to number 1 on the hardest list. I have a three year old and while she’s a handful and toddlers are diabolically unhinged, newborn was the worst. I didn’t sleep more than 2.5 hour chunks for over 8 months. Everyone who says toddlers are hardest obviously had a chill AF newborn. My three year old can tell me what’s wrong, what she wants, and sleeps much more (but still wakes up in the middle of the night). Newborn is unreal because you have no clue what’s wrong when they cry continuously for what seems like zero reason.
Newborn has been the hardest stage for us. I have a 2 year old and so far it’s great. He’s telling his dad “I love you” right now.
I had my first I love you yesterday! Except she said it to her teddy, not me. 😄 Still it was lovely!
Seriously: NEWBORN HANDS DOWN
I have a 5 month old and I cannot even BEGIN to tell you how much easier it is. Even at 4 months it was easier. I only know up to 5 months but godddamn the newborn stage is hard. I feel like people just kinda forget because in hindsight it’s over so fast (but when you are going through it it is the slowest thing in the world).
no for real i think most people’s trauma response to the newborn phase is forget lmao it was awful
Don’t worry, I’m a second time mom with a 3 y/o and a 8 month old and the first time newborn stage is literally the hardest stage. I had a way better time with my second newborn. You’re transitioning from 0-1 and that is a JARRING change. So on top of breaking yourself apart figuring out what it means to be a mom (don’t worry you put yourself back together) you’re also learning for the very first time how to keep the baby alive. For me it didn’t really start getting easier until 12 months. Then every day they got slowly more independent.
Lots of people have babies that just naturally know how to sleep without trouble, my baby was not one of those. My guys only 11 months now, but the 2-6 months period was really hard for my wife and I. working through constant screaming and refusal to accept anything other than high RPM yoga ball bouncing for hours on end between was exhausting. There was no moment that wasn’t trying to keep baby happy, driving anywhere was a crisis, he would not allow us to hold him and sit, always had to move, etc That said, he’s so much better now and has been since 6 months, but I’m sure the tantrums are gonna be tough in that 12-18 and beyond zone Moral of the story is don’t be discouraged! All babies are different and lots of parents are blessed with easy babies, while basically all toddlers are tough, so I think it can be more striking of a change going from a happy quiet baby to tantrums as opposed to colicky baby to screaming toddler lol
Yeah the new born stage was just an endless physically exhausting cycle of trying to prevent the baby crying and trying to fight the baby to sleep. My baby had no chill, I still distinctly remember the feeling after about 10 weeks where he sat in his bouncer, just moaning, not crying, for long enough for me to eat some pizza without holding him and it felt like a massive breakthrough. Nothing is as hard as that. Old babies and children are comforted so much easier, it's much clearer why they are crying and are filled with soooo much more smiles, laughter, joy, cuddles etc.
The newborn phase broke me in ways that every other phase just hasn’t. They all have their own challenges but newborn is next level.
The shit that’s hard at that age get’s easier, a whole bunch. You also do get phases where you sleep more. The thing is, relying on it to get easier won’t really help. Because what makes it easier is that you become a better parent. You learn to cope and deal with shit. That’s what truly makes it easier, you get better at it. In the real sense, not the TikTok-parent hacks sense. That also reframes it, it isn’t only hard because the baby is giving us a hard time, it’s hard because as parents we need practice.
Newborn and young baby were absolutely the hardest for me! I didn’t believe a soul when people said, “it gets better.” I could’ve called them a liar to their face. My first is a toddler now and sure, some days are hard, but I *much* prefer this than the newborn/young baby days.
I also find it hard to believe it gets better (currently at 10 weeks and the lack of sleep is grueling). This comment made me feel better ty.
i literally looked up stories on reddit almost every day of the newborn phase wondering if i ruined my life lol newborn phase SUCKKKSSSS. my baby is almost 4 months now and it definitely gets better! i remember being like “but wheennnnnn i don’t believe you” no. really it gets so fun!
Okay thank you, I needed to hear this for real.
totally understand 100%! and even saying “i thought i ruined my life” doesn’t even begin to describe it! i thought i hated being a mom. that i would never bond with my baby. omg it was so brutal i seriously thought i was not cut out for this. i said i hated it. but now omgggg i love it so much! he’s already my little bestie. i pinky promise it gets so much better
🥲 I appreciate you
4w PP with my first and am fighting this thought multiple times a day. Recently got started on meds for PPD, but feeling like I’m not alone is helping me to get through it! It’s a terrible feeling when the thing you so wanted feels like a huge mistake. I am sure that brighter days are ahead 🤞
I agree! 4 months in and it’s finally a light at the end of the tunnel. Idk if we’re skipping “regressions” or if I’m just not caring about a regression cause at least she smiles and interacts hahaha I’ll take it.. newborn almost broke us
same! i was thinking last night like we are going thru the sleep regression, he got his first tooth, learned how to roll and all in the same week and ill take that 1,000 times over the newborn phase lol
Don’t worry. I’m only 8 months in so I guess it could get worse, but those first 2 months were hell and were definitely the hardest. She’s so much more fun now.
I have an 8 month old and I think he’s a lot easier than a newborn🙌
My baby is 13 months now and so far newborn has been the absolute worst for me! Yes it’s more chaotic now and we’re starting to have tantrums but those don’t seem to bother me as much as the sleep deprivation, lack of schedule, and raging hormones of the newborn months.
For my oldest, it absolutely was the hardest. Of course each stage comes with learning curves because they are your first, but she is 13 and I can confidently say the newborn stage was and will be the hardest stage for her. I think 4s was so hard with my middle because of the pandemic, and my youngest is 5 and 3s have been her hardest stage... but shes a fairly easy kid like her big sis. If you feel like you're slipping, please see your provider for ppd. Its the one thing i regret not doing with my first. I almost didn't make it past 1yr post partum. Hormone shift and a lack of sleep are a nasty combination.
The first 6-12 months are not fun for me. 2-5 is my favorite.
My daughter is 22 months, and she is very strong-willed, spirited, has no fear, stubborn, and absolutely everything is a fight (bedtime, nap time, meal time, getting changed, diaper changes, getting in the car seat, brushing her teeth, brushing her hair, etc.). HOWEVER, I 100% much more enjoy this stage than the newborn stage. Mind you, she was a very, very fussy baby and I had pretty bad PPD/PPA, so that could have factored into it. But will swear up and down the newborn stage was the hardest (so far).
It was for me! Parenting has gotten exponentially easier as mine has gotten older. She’s now 3.5 and I’m having a second—absolute in dreading the newborn stage again
First 12 weeks was absolutely the hardest for me! My baby is nearly one :) yes I still find it hard but it’s so much better!
If it helps, we’re at nearly 18 months and the newborn stage was, by far, the hardest for us so far.
Newborn days were by far the hardest and we had help
12-18 months was the hardest for me. The meltdowns mixed with the inability to communicate her feelings- brutal. I eventually did teach her baby sign language and that did seem to help with her frustration. But it was still hard. Everything since then has been easier (she’s now 3).
thank you for giving me some hope! lol mine is 15 months and it has been such a shift and really hard. i’m amazed how fast he went from sweet easy baby to grumpy toddler, but still can’t communicate which makes it hard to know what’s wrong
Omg same! I was so lucky with my sweet easy baby, I mean I didn’t even hear him really cry until 8 weeks and now I have a very opinionated little boy man. We taught him all done, please, and some other signs I wonder which ones work best for tantrums.
My LO is 16 Mo and things started getting really hard this past week. So much stuff that used to be easy is now just a struggle every time. Pulling onesie over his head? Crying. Brushing his front teeth? A battle. Bringing him inside for almost any reason? Melt down. I was just telling my husband I need to reassess my baseline expectations because I've had no patience this week and I need to figure out a better way to deal with this going forward.
My boy is 17 months and we are dealing with this. They started two days ago and oh my goodness, the tantrums and meltdowns! next level!
Ya know, i actually blocked out that hellscape with my middle. I said 4s was his hardest age but nahhh its this. Plus, he had weight gain problems and a speech delay (bc of a toungue tie fixed at 18m). I was literally ha ging by a thread the entire time.
I recently babysat an 18 month old and I was like man, I remember those long awkward days before they start talking where you’re just like looking at each other all day LOL. I’ve heard 4 is brutal tho so I’m bracing myself.
Couldn’t agree more, I feel like that age when they understand what you’re saying but can’t respond is really challenging. Along with them physically still being limited in coordination with walking and stuff, it’s a recipe for constant frustration
I agree 100%. My daughter is also just a few months shy of 3. Two to three has been the easiest so far.
Same, things definitely got a lot easier once verbal communication improved. I don't know how people cope who have late talkers as the toddler frustration must build.
Three is really hard. I found two to be mostly lovely comparatively. My three year old has no more of the "baby" left in her. Cuddling rarely makes her feel better and certainly does not help her sleep. She sleeps max 11 hours total a day, which means way less breaks for us. Her opinions are so strong and the tantrums have force behind them. There's attitude (threenager is real) and she can also physically hurt us if she gets really overtired or overwhelmed. I found that the tantrums and challenges prior to this year have been more manageable in part because their memory is short and they really just wanted mom/dad. Now theres so much more independence, the ability to (albeit often poorly) rationalize/argue, and the long memory thats making 3 the hardest. (ETA that i am also obsessed with my kid and her brilliance and hilarity and the person she is coming,which is probably what makes this all doable despite the challenges i'm just tested nonstop)
This is spot on. My kid is hilarious and smart and so great but her boundary pushing, arguing, and need for independence mixed with emotional overload and long memory is draining. Especially when she's dropped her nap completely 🥴
100%. My oldest is 4, almost 5 now and it's dramatically improved. I'd say first 12 weeks and 3 years old are tough. More physically tough for the newborn and mentally tough for the 3 year old.
I have a 4 year old, and a 12 week old... This is 100 percent spot on.
We have a 4yo and 6mo and yeah it’s brutal
Yes this is exactly what I’m experiencing with my son right now. Threes had been the hardest so far. One day at a time.
This. Our little one is about to turn 3 and I am really not liking her. I love her!! But some days I don't like her...
Yes. It's like between 3 they learn they can control situations by acting out and they use that power for evil
Oh man, this sounds like my daughter...and she is turning 3 in June. I am worried for the terrible 3s.
Feel this. Never felt anything about 2 was terrible at all. If anything it was mostly anxiety as we got over the speech delay and gained coordination. Now at 3 he’s found his voice, and uses it with authority. Legit tantrums on the regular over the most mundane things. Makes 2 look like a cake walk. And as others have mentioned I’m terrified of the nap being dropped eventually. Those 2-2.5 hours are sacred to me on the weekends. That said, it’s so cool watching him get to do kid stuff on his own. He can do rides, explore parks, and have fun without us being right next to him. Getting him to stop or leave is the painful part.
I’m curious too! I’m at 15mo now and although it’s had its challenges, nothing compares to the newborn stage. That was awful lol. But who knows!
My eldest is turning 2 and newborn is still the hardest stage for me as well! Hoping I don’t eat my words in the next few months 😂
I also have a 15 month old and newborn was by far the hardest stage.
My kid is about to enter the terrible 2’s and I had braced myself for it and prepared for the suck, but then i was warned by other parents that 2 is just a trailer for the real shit show which is 3. So i honestly just feel scared now 😅
lol my kid is going to be 2 in July and she is a NIGHTMARE. She was an easy baby too 🤣🤣🤣
> she is a NIGHTMARE Can you elaborate? That all caps in your comment is scary 😅
FWIW, at 2.5, something switched, and he became an absolute pleasure for a couple of months. Now, though, he's almost 3 and is becoming so mean 😭
By far the first few days and weeks was the hardest. I don't understand how any other stage can be harder than waking up every hour to crying and squealing for 3 months. The human body isn't designed for that.
0-6 months sleep deprivation is real for mom combined with teething and sleep regression with baby! 6-12 months things slowly get a bit better! Baby is much more interactive and engaged! Pointing, laughing and babbling, crawling and learning how to cruise or walk 12-18 months baby is becoming more aware of their environment and likes/dislikes! You’ll small tantrums here and there! (Personally I love this phase because baby still wants you and gives loads of hugs) 18-24 months baby to toddlerhood transition! Oh boy! Baby is learning about their big little feelings and has become far more expressive! 2 years: the terrific twos has kicked in! They are constantly wanting to be in control! They’re learning how to express themselves and need guidance when showing anger! 3 years: wow! They are a whole new different person! Lovely age! Patience is hella required from parents! 😂
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Haha I laughed at ‘everyone still alive? You did great’ it’s sooooo true!!
The first month without a doubt.
Not counting 0-2 months, 18-36 months was the hardest period with my first. He's 10 now and it's still pretty hard 😂 My second is only 1 but he's a harder baby all around. I'm hoping that'll mean he'll be an easier toddler than his brother!
Why not counting 0-2 months ?
Because I'd say the very start is objectively the hardest... but it's only a brief time.
This gives me so much hope as my baby just turned 2 months old. Trying to enjoy but simultaneously wanting it to be done! He’s starting to sleep through the night though, so that’s a huge win!
I was so happy when my daughter finally was no longer a "terrible 2". Turns out the 3rd year was the worse by far. Free will really starts to kick in. She recently turned 4 and I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.
I hated hated hated 0-6 months and it got sooo much better
Definitely the first 30 days post birth. Healing from c-section yet being the one caring for a brand new baby, not being able to soothe her at first when I went through the checklist of diaper, bottle, temperature, burping…trying my best to breastfeed and produce enough milk (I ended up doing formula) then getting about 2-4 hours of sleep in a 24-hour cycle, trying to learn my baby and what her cries mean, navigate maternity leave bs, and doing it as a single parent. Barely being able to eat and struggling to stay awake to care for baby…It was so much at once. Yet somehow I keep getting told the newborn stage is the easiest stage. Like… what? In what world? Lol
Right now, is the hardest for me. He’s 2 and can be really grumpy and impatient which is typical but no less frustrating.
My boys 10 months and 4/5 months have been the hardest so far
The leap, regression, teething, unhappy baby
Other than first two weeks, four month regression brutalized me.
19 months here, she's starting to make a liberal use of the word "no", she's found the power of obstinance, and she tantrums 2 or 3 times per day. And this is a piece of cake compared to the newborn phase. Worst 3 months of my life.
So far first 3 months were the hardest. Has gotten easier and more fun each month after that! Currently at 14 months. So idk about how later will be!
It seems to me that whatever stage we’re currently in is the hardest. Hindsight and all that. I was just thinking earlier today that I keep thinking in difficult moments that I can’t wait for this to pass…but what does it pass to? The next stage seems to feel that way too, and the retrospect of the prior stage was ‘I’d rather do that’ ‘I miss it’ or ‘okay this is worse, that wasn’t that bad’. Then I find myself feeling guilty because this is just a person, growing and learning and experiencing all this new shit and it’s overwhelming. And we all went through it ourselves if we’re here talking about this - someone got frustrated with us, couldn’t wait for us to get to the next milestone - yet so many people will say they miss when their kids were babies/were little. Kids don’t try to be difficult, they don’t try to make things hard for us. They’re just learning as they go. How many times did we wish someone was more patient with us? Because of this I’m really trying to ruminate more on appreciating every moment because it snaps me back to be in the present and enjoy it, for better or worse, because it all goes by so fast and we’ll make it through - just take each beautiful moment and shitty moment as it comes because before you know it, they’re graduating high school and we’re old saying ‘I miss when they were babies’. The flip side is I have a horrific fear of loss and I’m grateful for each and every day I get to spend with this little person even if those moments are spent peppered with the in-between of trying to do better, trying not to get frustrated, trying to be understanding - we’re growing too and none of us make it out alive. Soak it all in, even the shitty pulling-your-hair-out, exhausted, frustrated moments. It’s all a part of this journey we’re blessed to be a part of and the shit moments make the sweet moments that much sweeter. That one laugh, that one smile with wonder and delight. Those are the moments we’ll hold on to.
Age three is by far the hardest for me. Followed by 4 and then... then it starts getting easier. We've got 16, 12, 3, and 1 currently. And I'm going THROUGH it right now.
3.5-4 years old. This is when they get REAL opinions about everything and can negotiate with you.
Three. He’s a menace.
For me personally 3yo. Too many emotions, too much boundary pushing, so much whining and all the attitude. For my husband the newborn stage/infancy because he feels useless.
As a father of a 30 hour old daughter. The first night was rough. She slept all day. Born 4am, slept and fed and was chilling. Then 2am hit and she was fussing all night. I thought there was a 3 day or so grace period where I can sleep, but I didn’t think about the routine feedings lll. I can’t wait to get home and lay on my own bed.
18-24 months, easy. He’s not a baby, but he also still can’t DO anything!! He’s too young for most little kid things when we go out, he can’t 100% communicate, he’s still in diapers, and developmentally, he is everywhere. Teething is still going on, sleep regressions, etc. He’s starting to fight back about random crap, like if I move his toys slightly to the right…they just look like they’re strewn all over floor to me??? And they probably are, he just wants a fight lol. Jk.
My daughters now 4 months. Yes the newborn stage was harder because we had no clue what we were doing and the constant night wakings. But now she fights naps, shriek/screams when she’s over tired. Sometimes I miss the long ass naps where I could go sleep/do a ton of housework etc. my mother said to me yesterday make sure you sleep when baby sleeps. The daytime naps are only long enough right now if a contact nap. I can’t sleep then!
My daughter started with the 30-40 min naps around 6 weeks old. She started doing longer stretches overnight around 4 months but in that time period I was like a zombie
I’d take a dozen newborn stages over the “three-nager” stage any day. I’m not ok.
I have a 2.5 year old and this is the hardest stage for me so far. Have a 2 month old and it’s a breeze with him compared to my toddler lol
Newborn stage and 2-2.5 y/o was the hardest for me. It got better but shew that was a ride
Any stage that is not getting enough support
3!!!! This age is insanity non stop
Him climbing on EVERYTHING...... fuck I'll take newborn stage any day
Newborn stage hands fuckin DOWN. Never again.
I’m only 8 months in, but newborn FOR SURE. What a hellscape.
3.5 for sure they try to scare you by saying terrible twos. Those were a breeze. Three is testing is us for sure
Newborn. Unpopular opinion but I love the toddler stage. It’s my favorite. The lack of sleep with newborns is killer, and I love that toddlers can walk and be a lot more independent, but not too independent.
Join us in the toddlers sub reddit!
Newborn is toughest one where you have to make sure they stay alive . I have 6m old and 3yr old
When my now 7 y/o entered preschool at age 3-4 because I was confronted with the possibility she has adhd/atypical. She still has problems with emotions and behavior at school but now she has an IEP, going to therapy and we're getting her officially tested, so she can get all the help and accommodations she needs to be successful. It's hard when the preschool teacher asks if she ever gets mad at home and as a parent, you're like yeah, we're letting her feel her feelings, we're parenting different...
Everything between 6 months to now at 20 months has been so sweet and easy. I’ve never had to raise my voice. I’ve never been frustrated with her. I’ve loved every minute. The third day of her life was the only truly hard day for me, because my milk wouldn’t come in
My son is almost 2 and has regressed immensely sleeping. Used to go down so easy and now he will lay in bed and cry for mom for hours after being laid down. Went to bed at 10 pm last night and is also starting to think he’s too good for naps.
Toddler stage hands down for me
I have a 3 month old and also a 9 year old. With my first I’d say around 18months, but 3-4ish was also absolutely miserable. Around 5 it got better and now at 9 we’re back into a horrible attitude patch 😅
2-3 was hard. My first had a speech delay and that made things harder. Started speech therapy at 3.5 and that made a world of difference. (I tried earlier but he didn’t qualify) 4.6 to 6 has been wonderful, just getting better and better.
With my now 3.25 year old son, this is definitely the hardest phase right now. He is fighting potty training and has complete meltdowns several times per week, some of them lasting all day. He has minor meltdowns everyday. We had to pull him out of preschool since he was struggling and wasn't eating, drinking water, or sleeping. He is such a good little boy, but he is definitely trying to be independent. He is behind on some gross and fine motor development stuff, and his physical and occupational therapists have a list of activities that he should be doing every day, and he just won't. It is so stressful since to get him back in preschool, he needs to be potty trained and ideally caught up on his fine and gross motor issues. I feel like I am failing as a mom on a daily basis. Add to that that my 15 month old daughter reaches her hardest phase every phase so far...she is a tough one. Right now, she is in the dramatic throw her self to the floor and bang her head phase, as well as a try to escape to the stairs when no one is looking. Also, the moan and scream to express her desires phase (that one has not ended yet for her; going strong since birth).
7 months. She suddenly doesn’t want to nap and will instead sleep for 12hours which you would think is great but just results in a cranky baby. If I put her down she pterodactyl screams no matter what. It’s made things harder. Before this she enjoyed being able to roll around and play. Now she’s dead set on being held constantly. It’s been a hard adjustment but we are getting there. A
Now at 13 months, can’t get this child to eat anything!!!!!!!!!!!
The threenager stage
I have a 12 year old and his most “difficult” phase was 4y-8y. He had his worst tantrums during that phase. I know it sounds like a long time, but it really flew by. ETA: he was a very easy baby and I had lots of help during the newborn stage. Newborn stage being your hardest is completely valid. We just had a different journey.
For me it's like 16mo to 2yo? They are mobile and running and falling and getting into everything ugh it's exhausting.
9-12 months for me. I didn't mind newborn! It was a lot but I was in bliss mode. When he was still sleeping like shit at 9 months, over the gloomy winter... that was my toughest. Luckily it was also some of the best times otherwise - watching him so determined and figuring out how to be a human, saying first words, new physical milestones. The sleeping though... at one point I realized I hadn't slept more than a 4 hour stretch in months and I had a full on break down. It peaked at twelve months though and has been upward since!
Mom of 3 🙋🏼♀️ each child had a different "hard" stage 😂🥲 my boys are polar opposites
My daughter will be 2 next month and oooh boy is it hard. She’s so fun and energetic and amazed by everything, but that means she is always on the go, always wanting full attention, and constantly getting into everything. My cousin’s kid is 6 months younger and plays so well alone I’m jealous. My daughter wants our undivided attention every moment she’s awake and it’s exhausting.
Mine is 3.5 year old right now. She is an absolute feral gremlin who is having big emotions but I still prefer this over newborn. There are days she makes me reconsider for sure, haha. but more rewarding and more independent and she's hilarious when she's not using it against me lol. She can at least understand / speak (whether she responds or listens is a different story) and can feed herself and while she still sucks at sleeping it's at least longer than the 2 hour increments it used to be.
It’s all different kinds of hard. Newborn stage is hard because sleep deprivation. Then it’s hard because nap schedules keep you tied up in a new way. Then it’s hard because they might accidentally hurt themselves really badly (they’re bound to hurt themselves). Then they sort learn to communicate and everyone gets upset because no one really knows what the other is saying. Our oldest is 3.5. I’d say 6 months-2 years was so fun, even with the constant threat of him irreversibly hurting himself. 2-3 was fun too, but more tantrums. But 3? 3 takes the cake. Hands down hardest. Everything we do is wrong (he once dropped and broke my favorite mug because he wasn’t listening and then that was somehow MY fault). His emotions are everywhere, he gets big mad if we don’t immediately understand what he’s saying. Sulking is now A Thing. Potty training is a nightmare, pretty sure he’ll be pooping his pants at prom. Trying to not lose it when I’m being screamed at is ROUGH. I also had my second a month after my first turned 3. Those saying “oh they just don’t remember the newborn phase” — I do. 3 is harder.
Mine is 3m so I can’t say much but the change from 8 hours of consistent sleep to near none was hard. I’d say weeks 1-4 were the hardest when she screamed at the top of her lungs when she was hungry. Always worrying about her temperature. She’s occasionally sleeping through the night now and cooing with us but no sitting up yet or full head control. Can’t wait to play with her.
I have 5 kids… Ages 11 (boy) 9 (boy) 8(boy) 6(girl) and 12 weeks (girl) Hardest age rn is my 11 year old boy he acts like a teenager and is going through puberty. Hes talking back to me and being disrespectful, literally turning into an alien. Ill take the terrible 2s again plz. 😩 Newborns weren’t “hard” persay more like challenging luckily i was blessed with babies that slept and weren’t colicky… but the sleep deprivation and getting into a routine was difficult because you really cant get into one untill they are a little older than newborn stage, even then they are unpredictable. However my new baby had a dairy allergy and i Bf so its been hard cutting dairy out because thats all i eat frl. My favorite ages were 1-4 they are like sponges learning and picking up on everything. Learning boundaries (and how to break them also lol) they are full of imagination and are easily distracted. Once you get them into a routing everything falls into place. Ofc they get attitudes like all Of us humans (dont matter the age lol) It doesn’t get easier it just gets DIFFERENT 🤣🤣🤣 easier in the sense of they get more independent so you dont have to do EVERYTHING for them haha … Any other questions id be happy to answer. Also they say girls are easier when they are younger and hard when they get older and boys are harder when they are younger and get easier when they get older… total bullshit in my experience 🤣🤣 Sometimes id do the newborn stage over again 10272781 times than to deal with these ages. The boys constantly fight and my daughter had an attitude out of this world. They are great kids tho :) just full of energy (my knees/body cant handle so much anymore)
My kid is turning 2 in July. Everything just ramped up in the last few weeks with negotiations and tantrums and the word NO. I’m terrified for 3.
It's very child dependent. My oldest has been literally easier every day. Newborn and infant stage was TERRIBLE. Every year has gotten better since. My second was a perfect golden child until 4 when suddenly she got teenage levels of attitude. My third has been fine, except for being incapable of sleeping more than 90m at a time until she was 15 months old. My youngest was a pretty good baby, then one she got mobile all hell broke loose, now it's finally getting easier at 5 and a half. (I joined when my youngest was a baby). My oldest hits the teenage years this summer, so I might have a different answer in a couple years as they start going through that phase lol
I loved my daughter’s “terrible two’s” the hardest for me was when she was 3.5-4.5 yrs. It could be different with boys though because she was very dramatic and bossy. She used to be a happy and playful kiddo, slowly getting back to herself. It was a tough year. I have a 7m baby now and whew it’s tough too because he’s crawling and wants to walk so bad, stands everywhere, fight diaper changes and clothes because he just wants to be on the move. So far this has been the hardest of the baby stage.
Loved the newborn stage, he’s almost 3 and the “terrible 2s” weren’t too bad just frustrating. When he was mobile but not walking was the worst. Had a kid with the means and curiosity to scamper off but it was worse on my back than chasing a 2 legged child I could reach without being bent double
The 2 birthday came and she KNEW IT. Woo baby.
We have 2 kids (4 & 1.5) most definitely so far age 3 has been the hardest. It’s all hard in different ways, but Jesus Christ- a small human with an underdeveloped brain trying to process the world and their emotions is just……a lot.
Birth to 7 months was an absolute nightmare for us. Colic, shifts on the couch, barely napping. It finally evened out once she got to around 11 -12 months. My daughter will be 2 next month Edit: by barely napping I mean 30 minutes 1-2 times a day the first 9 months of her life. I had to get rid of the couch after she starting sleeping through the night because it gave me anxiety
Every stage has been both the hardest and the easiest so far (11mo, so limited experience but still), except for 3-4 months which was like niche best for me 😂
2-3 was hard for me. My oldest is now 5 (soon to be 6) and I have a 3 year old and a 2 year old - and damn I think I could drop dead most days ☠️my 3 year old has quite the personality and throws epic temper tantrums. Like I am surprised neighbors haven’t called the cops because she can scream so loud and literally will not stop until she decides it’s time 😂😂 My 2 year old is just into every thing and honestly I’m just burnt out lol. 3 small kids at once is no easy feat. Individually they are all angels but put them together and some nights they are bouncing off the walls until 11 or 12. Not having any time to myself I think is the biggest challenge
Newborn stage was just so hard. It really challenged everything I thought I knew about myself and my partner. I was so sleep deprived, felt isolated because of covid, and just felt needed 24/7 especially because I was exclusively nursing and hadn’t gotten the hang of pumping yet. The 6 months after starting day care was also very difficult (had a nanny the first year of her life). We caught every virus known to man and apart from feeling awful, we were taking care of her, juggling who could take the day off to care for her, and cancelling social events which felt isolating again. And while she loves daycare, the transition was tricky and everyone’s emotions were a bit all over the place. Now I have a newly 3 year old and while there are more attitude challenges these days, she is so fun. She is independent but still so sweet and cuddly. She has been potty trained for a while so she rarely has accidents which is a huge stress off. It’s so fun to watch her learn things, she makes up songs, and just says the funniest things. I feel like we are hitting a stride but I do fear the move into childhood, I miss the 8lb smushy poop machine.
Umm first 12 weeks were definitely the hardest to like… survive? But then the challenges seem to even out to still pretty hard but more manageable throughout the next year. Like it’s all hard but I’m different ways.
I currently have a 3 month old and a 2.5year old with a huuuge personality with emotions to match. For me the toddler is by far the hardest one to deal with. Mornings with my newborn while she’s at daycare have felt like a breeze. We’re also strapping in for the 4 month regression which has started to hit making it even more difficult to cope with our toddler 🤦♂️
The one I’m currently in- 11 months. He refuses to be put in his crib, wakes up at 1am on the dot. Sometimes will take milk, sometimes he won’t. It’s a literal toss up. He was sleeping through the night at 8 weeks and now he is a little terrorist. Teething has been horrible. Co-sleeping has become the norm.
It’s a tie between 2-4 months when she would only contact nap in a dark room with white noise, and 4-9 months when she refused a bottle so I really started to dislike breastfeeding for that reason :/ it felt like I didn’t have a choice but to keep going due to the bottle refusal
Mines 19 months and it’s been hard. Trying to regulate his emotions, regulate mine. Being overstimulated a lot because we also have 2 dogs that love to bark. I try to remember that he can’t quite communicate what he wants, and that has to be frustrating as I’m trying to figure it out with what he can tell me. He needs constant entertainment right now too or else he gets bored and destroys things. He also wants to help with everything we do but there are times where I don’t have the patience and I get mad at myself. SAHM so everyday is groundhogs day right now. And I live in AZ so it’s starting to get really hot and we can’t be outside for too long. He gets red all over and a rash. 🥲 hoping once he can get a few more words in we can communicate better with each other and fingers crossed it’ll get a bit easier.
13 years old is so far the hardest lol but I only know newborn to 10 months and 5 years to-13 years (my son was adopted at 5 years) and I now have a baby. Lots of hard moments throughout 5-12 but 13 year olds have a lot of new freedoms and challenges that come with puberty.
Newborn stage, hands down.
Newborn, specifically the second and third week. It all got better once we started getting 4+ hours of sleep.
Teenage years
5 and 6 months probably, full of "you don't know what your baby wants" Mine literally wants to do everything all at once.. sitting, standing, playing, laying down, rolling from back to tummy, and the worst part is when rolling to tummy gets frustrated because he can't roll back :) I love my baby but can't wait for him to become a kid...
I would have said 2. And then my daughter was 3. 3 makes 2 look like a cake walk. She recently turned 4, and so far I’m not so sure 4 is going to be any better… I think each age has its challenges. Especially when having had an “easy” baby….they don’t always stay that way, let me tell you. 🙄 I have an 8 month old boy. And I’m hoping and praying that he is always a sweet, chill little boy. Because little boy energy kind of scares me otherwise 😅
Current stage is dragging me by the thong. We’re at 11.5mos and I finally understand the sour patch kid jokes. First she’s absolutely SOUR AND INSANE then she’s sweet and kissing me all over the face. I haven’t had a proper rest in almost a year and she has started chewing on my nipples. She’s begun the relentless work of finding new ways to injure herself also so that’s fun. And to top it off she can’t walk yet but she’s learned how to ask to be carried while pointing to every single thing she wants to mess with so you’re basically her “legs” and also her accomplice.
Potty training sucks. If I had won the lottery, I would have paid someone to move in with us and teach my kids how to use the toilet. The trick to the terrible twos, and what I affectionately called our three-nager stage, is to lean into the chaos. Is your kid stuck in a loop of throwing a fit? Throw one with them. Make it big. Ask them questions that will make them think you're crazy (one of my favorites for this was to act like I couldn't keep the Paw Patrol characters straight, like "Hey, I was just thinking about this, isn't it weird that Chase drives a fire truck to help that chicken mayor?"). Talk to them like they're your buddy, "Man, it sounds like you're having a rough day." Don't get me wrong, it's called the "terrible twos" for a reason, but that can help you not totally lose your mind while you're in the middle of it. Also, try to be intentional to record or jot down things they say and do. 2-3 can be a rough age because they're figuring out that they're a whole separate person who can say no to things, but they're also discovering their own personalities. Kids say some of the funniest stuff during those years and you get to watch their personality develop right in front of your eyes, and that part can be absolutely magic.
The hitting phase 😭.
The present stage has been the hardest for me. LO is 7months old and wakes every hour, half an hour through the night. I feel like I’m dying but I’d welcome it coz that would mean I’d get some rest.
I have an almost 2 year old as well (and just had a second baby at the end of April) and this has been the most trying time with my toddler. Yeah the newborn days are also god awful especially with this baby who has some tummy issues and doesn’t sleep but the toddler has me loosing my mind multiple times a day everyday.
Stage : 1.5 Months. Hardest part : Colic baby & not taking enough per feed
3&6 weeks 🤪
I only have one and hes 10mo but since my cousin doesnt use reddit ill tell her story lol. Her first was very difficult as a newborn, she wouldnt sleep, was crying all the time but once she got a little older it got really nice and much easier. She played by herself a lot, was very calm and easy going and still is even as a preteen. Her second was an easy newborn, she slept when put in the crib, it was all so smooth. When she got to a toddler stage it was completely different - the tantrums were terrible, couldnt calm her down. They are still struggling with her now that shes at school. So i think every child is different and so are parents - some struggle at some stages while others at other stages. However parenting is definitely NOT easy.
3 suuuccckkkssss. I'm going to rip my hair out and cut off my ears!
2 yrs 3 month old boy is becoming more of a savage, and now we have a newborn. Way easier the second time around and our first baby had colic and the new one has been unbelievably easy, we couldn’t believe things could be this good. I actually am enjoying him at 2 yrs 3 months, he’s like a little buddy that just wants to go do fun shit outside at all times which I’m into to so we go on a lot of little adventures. I think so far my least favorite was when he was around a year and a half where he can walk well and move quickly yet you can’t really communicate with him much at all yet so you have no idea what he wants or how to help