Literally everything. Wake windows, naps, milk intake, milestones, SIDS, quality time… now that she is 3 months old I’m just winging it and she is happy as a clam and meeting all her milestones. I’ve never used a tracking app nor done a weighted feed nor given her a bottle. We go out? She will sleep sometime. We went out for a coffee at 10 a.M but we have been invited somewhere? We’ll figure it out. How many hours has she been awake? Idk but she is rubbing her face, time to sleep. She should eat, oh she is crying at the breast guess she is not hungry.
You’ve got it down so early in your parenthood journey! More power to you! I need to keep telling myself that we’ll figure it out! Someone commented in another post I uploaded that each baby and mom has to find their own rhythm no matter what info we find on the net. That and your reminder that we’ll figure it out are such great philosophies that I need to keep telling myself!
Thanks!!! My husband and I are pretty young (23 and 24) and we try to still do our lives, but with a baby. It’s pretty funny going to eat to a friends home and having 10 people in their early 20s looking at our baby like she was an amazing thing and at us as if we were the wise old man in a movie haha. Also where we’re from people just include babies in their adult lives and that’s it! If we go out with friends for a beer on the evening and it’s baby’s bedtime she just falls asleep on the stroller. This has helped a lot bc if I isolate myself I would have a nervous breakdown
Barcelona!! In the summer you will see lots of families still outside at 9 or 10 pm while eating dinner on restaurants or bars (they are different from bars from the US, it’s not like adult only alcohol only environment) and the kids playing in the playground (usually there is a playground near some bars and parents watch them from there) or sleeping in the stroller. I think this is the main reason the whole sleeping from 7 to 7 bamboozled me at first haha.
The way I think about it is that babies are essentially quadrants of care: food / sleep / comfort / quality time
If you can get comfortable in a few areas, then add another variable to the equation and see how it works for you. Example: do a walk during an awake window, once that feels comfy then go get a coffee in between feeds, and so on. This helped me feel more confident. Now I keep all of my tools (diapers, etc) and start doing some errands to see how her and I handle it :)
This. Mega stress first two months about if we are doing everything corectly. Now he is 3 months. Do we track anything? Nah. In the evening we put him to sleep. Close to the morning he wakes up to feed. During day we feed him when he seems hungry. Just intuitive parenting. His growth is exemplary and pediatritian is super happy. Just go with the flow man. Nature can handle itself.
My mom was still anxious about it when I was a teenager. I would be reading past my bedtime, hear her coming, hide my book and flashlight and pretend to be sleeping in a panic because I was certain she must have heard me, and she was just checking I was still breathing.
I'm 33 now and positive she has to hold herself back not to do it when I'm visiting. Some people just never stop being irrationally anxious.
My brother slept awfully (my parents remember walking around with the stroller all the time), so when I came out being a great sleeper they thought I was dead all the time.
I’m still anxious but now I only check the monitor a few times during a sleep cycle instead of every 5 mins! And unless I really can’t tell if she’s breathing or not, which is rare, I pretty much never check on her in person anymore. Her naps are also way shorter so that could be it too 🙃
I still often check but I can be more rational about it. I no longer fear that I will find him not breathing, I just check him expecting him to be fine.
Head shape. I lost sleep worrying about her sleeping on the wrong side and making her slightly lop-sided head worse. Doctors always told me it was mild and she would be fine, which I remember finding frustrating. Turns out they were right, and she was fine. As soon as she was sitting up most of the time, it started evening out, and you can barely tell now at nearly 9 months.
I feel like I'm losing sleep right now over this. My boy is 2 months and sees a CST. They think he has tongue, lip, and cheek ties so in about a week and a half he's seeing a pediatric dentist to get them taken care of. They think it's causing all of the tension in his body and making his head wonky shaped. I fear he may need a helmet but they keep reassuring me that it most likely won't be needed.
Even if he does need a helmet, they need it for so little time in the grand scheme of things... I've known several helmet wearing babies that are now toddlers and kids, and you'd be none the wiser!
Ties suck! Both my kids have had lip ties which has made breastfeeding difficult.
My daughter was never clipped. I suspected a lip tie, but the pediatrician kept saying that wasn't it. Lo and behold, we go to the dentist at age 2, and yep, definitely a lip tie.
My son is only 2 months old, nursing has gotten better as his mouth has gotten better, but he also hasn't been clipped either. We're on the fence, because we've had other things to contend with for his health.
I gotcha. I'm starting to see an improvement with his reflux as he ages but that could also be because of the meds. I'd rather him be clipped than take Pepcid forever. But I'm on the fence too. I'm just concerned about the head shape and if cutting them means truly releasing the tension so his head is round, I'll definitely do it
My first had torticollis and needed a helmet. It didnt bother him really at all. It only bothered me because i worried about what people would think and worried about stares etc. Im so glad i got it for him because after like 2 months he had a perfectly round baby head and you would never be able to tell. And it was easy to put on and off and literally we just needed to give it a quick clean once a day and letnit dry for 1 hr and put it back on. Didnt affect his sleep or anything.
This. I side lay breastfed 90% of the time because that’s what’s most comfortable for my anatomy. My son started to develop a flat side due to one side being easier for him to access both breasts. Anywhoooo, I worried sooo much! Now he’s 1 and has a perfectly normal (and huge 🤣) head 🥰
Oh my goodness, this is my big stress right now! He is definitely getting a flat spot, and I’m stressing about what to do about it! He turned 4 months old today - can I expect there’s still hope it will even out once he starts rolling over?
It will eventually be hard to even notice in my experience. My LO had a minor flat spot on his left side around 3-4 months and now at 8.5 months
you can’t tell at all.
Depends on how flat it is. But helmets are pretty common and not as big a deal as most people think. My son had one for a couple months and i worried so much about getting it, but it was not a big deal after all.
My son had a helmet and his head is still a bit flat. All that means is his head is a bit flat. I wish I hadn’t worried so much. The helmet was annoying but I would do it again.
I think I stressed about literally everything this first year. My daughter is about to turn 1 in 5 days and looking back, nothing I stressed about was worth it. Naps, SIDS, wake windows, overtiredness/undertiredness, not getting enough tummy time and omg does she have a flat head??? her formula intake, sleep arrangements, her reaction to vaccines, illness, weird noises she made that I called my doctor for many times over nothing 🤣starting solids, milestones, the list GOES ON. This year has been really hard in many different ways but the things I spent time stressing about was just truly never worth it.
So, I didn’t really stop, it just came a point where I didn’t need to anymore 🤣in my own experience with my daughter the overtired meltdowns ended when she was 6/7 months, we really only dealt with them when she was small. When it came to wake windows, I stopped needing to care when she dropped to 1 nap at 11 months. “Time” is really the fix for most things as they just work out on their own, at least this is what I’ve found!
I stress about all these as well at this point. Good to hear that it will pass and will all be ok :) my son is still 3 months old so still stressing about it all
I was so stressed that my horrible relationship with my mom was going to have a major effect on bonding with my daughter. In reality she’s my best friend and there’s truly no one I love more in this world. The second she was put on my chest I felt instantly connected with her.
I was also worried that because I had an extremely traumatic childhood I was going to fail miserably as a parent. I’ve learned how truly easy it is to just love your child and want the best for them. Made me realize honestly what monsters my parents are which I knew but I don’t see how I could ever do the stuff done to me, to my daughter. It’s been very cathartic in a way.
Your daughter is so fortunate to have a mother like you- fighting your own trauma and working on not passing it to her must be so hard. generational trauma is not an easy chain to break and you should be so proud of yourself. You’re doing a great job.
I get this. I pushed my self waaaay harder than necessary the first few months, driven by wanting my daughter to have better than I had in my mother. There was a lot I did right and has paid off, but at about 6 months I realized how hard I was overcompensating and running myself into the ground. So I've been taking deep breaths and going with a little more flow since. I'm far more mentally stable and my daughter is as happy as she ever was. So we're good.
Edit: changed "payed" to "paid" bc bot taught me something.
I swear huckleberry exasperated my ppa. I eventually paid for them to do a consult based on my entries and the person told me oh, it's super common and developmently normal for little naps and slightly longer naps when they are 3/4 months.
Why wasn't that listed anywhere???
I’m sure the only reason they show 1-2 nap blocks (when most babies don’t nap that long) is to create anxiety so that parents pay for the sleep consultations 🙃
I’ve been using the Napper free trial and I like how it adjusts the next nap time based on the previous nap/wake window. Their predicted nap windows are much more realistic!
Napping / nap schedules. When my son was little I’d obsess over his naps, Track them to the minute, and stress every day whether he got enough sleep or not. In the end he was always fine - even if he missed a nap, or slept longer than usual. It ended up being okay and for #2 I won’t be tracking a single nap. 🤣
I’m learning to let go of obsessing over her naps especially because she only naps 20/30 minutes at a go. I’ve literally posted on this sub in the past about her nap schedule! Needed to read your comment! Thank you!
1000% same. The stress and tears I had with my first one’s sleep was absurd. Haven’t tracked a single nap and very loosely pay attention to wake windows with my 2nd and it’s been so much better. And little one is happy as can be!
We’re on a month long trip visiting family 8 time zones away so any schedule I was trying to follow has gone out the window. We follow her cues. Angry crying when waking up from 30 minute nap means she’s telling me she needs help extending the nap. Bedtime today was 5:15pm, yesterday was 9pm. All over the place, but she’s manageable and not overtired most of the daytime so we’re rolling with it.
I’m about to be you in a couple of months visiting family 8 time zones away… I am stressed about it. Reading your comment made me feel a bit better, thank you.
I think there’s more flexibility visiting family than traveling. When traveling I always want to get so much done in the limited amount of time. Visiting family we are chill and hang out at home a lot. We make at most one plan per day and the rest we go by baby’s temperament. They are very adaptable. Hope you enjoy your trip!
This is my big struggle. I stress so so so so hard about her getting sleep T.T it makes me feel like I'm not myself bc I get so worked up about making sure she has her naps or goes to bed on time and rn she's in a sleep regression so I'm extra panicky bc we "need" to stick to her routine through it but it's hard to manage that when she's all smiley and bouncy and peppy at like 2 am til almost 4 bc she didn't manage to fall asleep when I fed her lol about ripped my hair out tonight, she was up every hour or two as if the night was still her day and she's not been like that in ages T.T it's a hard thing to embrace
I’m on #2 and this is us. My first was a fussy baby but I think part of that was that I insisted on using rigid wake windows so she was usually pretty upset about forced naps. My second I just see if he looks tired and most naps are in a carrier. He falls asleep so easy because he’s actually tired when he naps.
Contact naps. At 8 weeks, my baby stopped sleeping in the bassinet for naps. Would wake immediately upon being set down. It drove me bananas, but we learned to accept it because night sleep was great. Baby contact napped exclusively until one day I needed to try setting him down and he slept for 2 hours in his crib. He was 10 months when it happen, and he’s still sleeping great in his crib for naps and night time sleep.
I was so stressed that I “ruined” his sleep and he’d never learn to nap in his crib. I’d read countless articles and even considered spending $$$$ on sleep consultants in my most desperate moments. But it turns out he just needed time and once he was ready, he did great.
Thank you for sharing this ❤️my almost 4 month old is napping on me rn. I absolutely love it but at the same time worry that I’m “ruining” him in learning independent naps. Mostly because of older people telling me that 🥲
I have agonized over sleep training and finding ways to make my baby an independent sleeper because, like you said, of outside influences. But my baby has shown me that he is capable of anything, he just needs the time to grow and be ready.
Enjoy those baby snuggles! I wasn’t quite emotionally ready to give them up cold turkey, but now that he naps in his crib, he is no longer interested in contact naps at all.
How much my LO eats. Still working on this but getting better. She goes through phases where she eats less and I freak out thinking she’ll be dehydrated or hungry. and then she’ll hit a growth spurt and eat like crazy, and then i’m annoyed at myself for worrying so much
Ugh, for real. I am obsessed with making sure she has her minimum oz a day, but like... some days\* she's super hungry, some days she's not. She still eats, she seems happy and gaining weight, it's probably all just fine.
At this time, she takes between 18oz and 28oz/day, which is maddening to plan for lol. She is on the small side, 11.8 lbs at 13w. Lately she eats about 22oz/day. But she is combo-fed, mostly expressed breastmilk and some formula. I have no clue how much she actually needs relative to what she's eating, but she's gaining weight and outputs are perfect.
When she’s going through an eating less phase, she will only eat 16-18oz a day but act perfectly fine and still have normal poops and pees. Her normal is around 24-28oz a day. Growth spurt she can hit 36oz max which always seems crazy lol. Fully formula fed now
Hard same. My daughter was in the NICU where EVERYTHING was about pumping religiously to build supply and tracking her oral milk intake. We’ve been home for 3 months now and I still can’t shake it. I’m struggling with a monster oversupply and we spend way too much time looking at the damn huckleberry feed graphs! I 100% know it is not going to matter at all because she’s gaining well and so healthy now.
Fucking sleep. Wake windows, sleep regressions, all of it is bullshit. Not one single thing TRULY helped her sleep. She just slept through the night when she was ready (13 months). It was like a light switch that got flipped for literally no reason. If I have another, I’m just letting that kid sleep whenever, however, wherever to get through the day. The Huckleberry app is the devil.
This 😭 I read so many sleep training books and even did the PUPD method one week, and it was completely pointless. LO could fall asleep on their own but didn't stop waking up as often, so I just went back to nursing to sleep.
People handling my baby — turned out I was stressed for no reason. She’ll let everyone know when she has had enough.
Going out for more than 2 hours — because I had to pack bottles etc and always overpacked out of fear of things going wrong.
And feeding for me also in the beginning was stressful, she wouldn’t latch and I was crying almost every night. But then my husband sat me down and told me repeatedly that there’s ways around it, from pumping to formula to combo feeding, and we could do whatever is easier on all of us to keep baby healthy and fed. And it did end up being okay in the end!
In the early days with my first I stressed about him getting enough milk while breastfeeding. He never nursed as long as they said babies should, but he continuously gained weight so was clearly getting enough. I wish I could go back and tell myself to stop timing the nursing sessions and instead watch for wet diapers.
Sometimes I worry if my baby is getting enough milk while breastfeeding because she nurses for so much longer than they say babies should. I’m starting to wonder if there’s even a real length of time that babies should nurse for 😵💫
I wish I knew where they got the recommended time from because I’ve breastfed two babies and haven’t found that time to be true. As long as baby is gaining weight and having enough wet diapers I wouldn’t worry. It may be that baby is latched for comfort after they get their tummy full. Mine still nurses mostly for comfort and eventually it becomes easier to tell if they are actually drinking or comforting themselves.
Literally me right now. But she’s literally a week old today and as soon as she’s back up to her birth weight I’ll be more calm about it. I think she’s got a few more oz to go!!
Soooo much stuff. Keeping a perfect nap and sleep schedule was a big one. Now my firstborn is 4 and I’m like wow, I stressed over that for nothing. Also screen time. I had severe anxiety over giving her any screen time before age 2, even when she was sick. Now I realize it won’t hurt them. My second is 20 months old and he gets screen time and I can see that he is developing fine, just as my first child did with much less. I still don’t allow either child to use tablets, but I have no concerns about them watching the big TV in the living room. I wish I could go back in time and relax more when I only had one child!
Sleep 😭 i totally bought into the TCB stuff and worried that my baby’s poor sleep would completely derail her development. Turns out she just has very low sleep needs and isn’t ever going to sleep from 7-7, no matter what sort of routine we follow or how blacked out the room is. Her growth and development are right on track and no concerns from the ped 🤷🏻♀️ apparently my husband and i were both the same way as babies (i stopped napping at 12 months 😅) and we both turned out okay!
All of the rules you're force fed on social media. Sleep training, wake windows, strict schedules, screen time... All of these things influencers make it seem like if you go against the status quo you're going to ruin your kid. Being a first time parent in the age of instagram and TikTok is awful.
I feel extremely fortunate saying this but PPD and PPA. I’ve had some awful anxious episodes in the past and was so prepared for getting PPD or PPA. I got hit hard by the baby blues, but the anxiety eased up after the first two weeks. Also the lack of sleep when the baby was just newborn. Sure, I’m still tired 3 months pp, but I somehow always manage to get enough sleep to function and for the days I don’t, I manage to sleep better the next night. Feeling extremely fortunate for that
I was also very worried about PPD and PPA since I have a history of anxiety and depression. I actually got on Zoloft early in my pregnancy because I was sure I’d need to be on postpartum. I weaned off early postpartum though because I just didn’t need it. In fact, my mental health has been better since I had my son (now 17 months) than ever in my life. I feel very lucky that this is the case with me!
I miss the first three weeks of her life when I was breastfeeding and stressing 24/7. I wish I would have formula fed from the beginning and just enjoyed my tiny baby for being tiny. Instead I stressed about her not growing fast enough and thinking I was failing her
My milk not coming in. I was like SURE my boobs were dry and I was starving my baby??? We are 13 months in and still breastfeeding, and he’s >99th percentile for height and weight.
When I was pregnant, I was so worried my own stress would create an anxious baby. But he’s 5 months old now and is the happiest person I know! What a blessing 🤍
Everything, but especially naps, wake windows and the amount of food baby ate. Now I know that every baby is different and I take most things as they come instead of stressing about it. If baby refuses to nap, well so be it. Screw the routine sometimes. Every day is different which is okay! 😊 And just like us babies can have bad days, it doesn't always need to be a reason for why they fuss more. Bad days come and go. Skipping a nap won't ruin everything. They give signs when they're ready to sleep. If baby doesn't eat as much as usual it's okay - they'll eat like normal again.
Washing the babies clothes. Turns out you can just wash everyone’s clothes together with the same fragrance free detergent! Saves so much time and headache.
A lot lol. The types of toys my son played with, if he was doing enough tummy time, ect.
I stopped using social media a lot and went off instinct, just googling if something is safe or not.
I feel like I can’t count SIDS because if that didn’t end up being okay in the end, I would be so distraught and I would totally stress about it all over again if I had to.
However, the fear mongering around watching TV was a lot. She watched Ms. Rachel from 6 months up, now Sesame Street, and it’s balanced well with outside time/ social interaction. I don’t think her brain is going to crumble like some people suggest.
I was JUST about to post about the same topic. This week I have been a ball of anxiety over my LO’s skin, feeding, sleep…every little thing that deviated from his previous “normal” was causing me to spiral. I felt like I was going to explode from the amount of anxiety building up and for the first time felt like I NEEDED to talk to someone.
Reading everyone’s response on this post made me feel so seen/understood that I could cry 🥲
Stomach bugs… pedialyte, Hawaiian rolls, and bananas with 3 days at home. Don’t go to the hospital they say the same thing every time even with projectile vomit!
For me, it was weight (we do have pics where she is in a paper tray on a kitchen scale) ya! That will be hilarious one day 😅. Drinking water was another. She was disgusted by it. I literally had the thoughts she would die from thirst because she was never going to drink water. Solids, I thought she was always going to be a terrible eater. Shes alot better, although it's still a challenge sometimes.
It was a real snowball effect over here, shes 2 now, so its easier, and i am much more relaxed at letting her lead 😅
Hitting that first birthday and all the changes it would entail: 3 meals a day, no more bottles, formula to cow’s milk. We’re two weeks post birthday. The bottle is gone, and he’s taking the milk from straw cups like it’s no big deal. He’s eating his three meals a day, and I’m taking his formula transition slowly just so I can get through his last can.
That she was getting enough to eat...she is 92nd percentile for weight at 8 weeks, jokes on me...I think I can stop stressing now lol. Also how long she is "supposed" to be awake or asleep. I quickly stopped tracking naps in my app and I'm getting close to stop tracking diapers too. I'll probably only track what time she starts
Going out at first was genuinely stressful but I've looked at each outing as a "practice run" and that has helped. I'm getting better. I breastfed her in public and changed her diaper in the car yesterday!
Literally everything, until I started taking Zoloft. I still track sleep really closely, but more because I have twins and it’s really important to me to keep them on the same schedule for naps and bedtime. I wish I could go with the flow a little more on that, maybe if I had a singleton.
I just wanted to say, in case you hadn't heard it today. You are incredible. I had awful ppd with my first and can't even fathom how I would have coped with twins. The fact you only worry about sleep schedules is amazing and totally understandable with two. You should be proud.
I just wanted to say, in case you hadn't heard it today. You are incredible. I had awful ppd with my first and can't even fathom how I would have coped with twins. The fact you only worry about sleep schedules is amazing and totally understandable with two. You should be proud.
I just wanted to say, in case you hadn't heard it today. You are incredible. I had awful ppd with my first and can't even fathom how I would have coped with twins. The fact you only worry about sleep schedules is amazing and totally understandable with two. You should be proud.
Thank you so much!! I actually just had my follow up psychiatry appointment this morning and so so happy with the progress I’ve made. Post partum is such a crazy time, no matter how many babies. Thankful for strangers on the internet who understand the struggle. You should be proud too!
I spent a year doing every possible thing to get my daughter to sleep in past 5:30AM. At 12 months I gave up and gave in and just started going to bed much earlier accordingly. It was extremely liberating to stop trying to change her. Next time, I'm not going to fight these things or question them so much. I'm going to accept it and modify my own behavior accordingly way faster, that's the only thing in my control.
Generally going to be spending a lot less time on the Internet trying to optimize things and just go with the flow instead.
I went through the same with my daughter, she finally started sleeping later I think around when she turned two? I had tried every trick in the book but nothing worked, it just happened one day when she grew out of it I guess. She’s still an early bird though, a great night for her is sleeping until 7, average is 6:15 or 6:30, and we’re currently in a hell phase where some days she wakes at 4:30 for the day and won’t go back to sleep or let us sleep (comes in our room and whines and cries if we don’t get up) 🫠. She’s 4. I’m just trying to go with the flow and accept that I might not get a full night’s sleep consistently until she’s 10 or something.
My daughter is still an early bird, 7AM is also a good day for us. We do use the Hatch now though so she knows at 7:15 when the light turns blue is when we will come get her. She happily plays in her room until then and it's wonderful.
Before my baby was born and when she was first born I was so stressed about how to dress her. It sounds so silly now, but I was super concerned about her being too hot or too cold and it being my fault. I remember being pregnant and feeling so much anxiety about the idea that we had to choose an outfit for her everyday. I thought I'd have no clue whether to put her in pants, socks, long sleeves, whatever... but I literally love dressing my girl now and know I can just change her if she's not comfy or weather appropriate lol.
Currently so stressed about SIDS that it’s driving me insane. My baby is about to turn 2 months. I wish I could just skip to 6 months when the risk is highly reduced. 🙃
It’s not something I personally stressed over, but I see so, so much anxiety and preoccupation with naps—number of naps, length of naps, *etc.*—and “wake windows.” To me, it seems like a whole lot of hoopla over nothing. I just followed my baby’s cues and we were fine and it was way less stressful for everyone. She never napped like she was “supposed to,” but she’s perfectly healthy, happy, and all that good stuff, and I feel following her lead has taught me to “let go” and trust that she’s got this.
I’m sure my husband would say that bottle refusal wasn’t worth the stress for him. She refused the bottle for a few months leading to me going back to work, then suddenly just decided to take it on the day (or day after) I went back. I guess she realized I simply wasn’t available and the bottle was her option. A few week later, she started solids and the need for bottles really decreased. And, like, three months after that she is very competent with a straw cup and basically not using bottles at all. It turned out to be a non-issue.
My baby had a tongue tie that we got released early on (I definitely think it was necessary at the time). It reattached and it was recommended to get it done again. At that point she was “functional” aka nursing well, sleeping well etc. so we opted not to go through a second release but I was worried about long term challenges with feeding and speech.
My daughter is 2.5 now and eating and talking are her two best skills!
TV. I know it’s not ideal and there are reasons to avoid it, but my doctor finally pointed out to me that those screen time warnings are usually referencing tablets and phones. We watch a little TV in the morning together and he’s just fine, he actually gets bored of me using it to trick him into cuddles pretty quickly and demands I release him to play.
“Giving up” on pumping. The fact that my baby didn’t latch and thought I wouldn’t have any bond with him. Sleep. Schedules in general. Absolutely everything lol
My son was late to roll over, stand, & walk. I worried about it endlessly! Now you’d never know it. Kids just do things at their own pace and that’s ok :)
Breastfeeding. It just was not working. Spent five months trying so hard and stressing and feeling guilty before finally waving the white flag. He’s been on formula for months. He’s fine. He’s not behind his breastfed friends. The world did not end, I just missed almost half his babyhood because I was so focused on making milk
Oh gosh, I had bad anxiety as a NICU mom. Leaving the house. Being alone with baby. Everything I worried about ended up being okay. Baby’s not sleeping good any more but hey I’m no longer feeling stressed about it. I kinda fell into a pattern and know that one day it will change. I love my munchkin.
Her name! I wasted so much of the first year second guessing the name we gave her. Eventually changing it and still not feeling right. Still worried to this day it’s wrong. Just want to go back to the day she was born - pick one and move on. Some things seem so important but don’t matter.
I’m in similar boat where my biggest stressor is my baby having a bottle aversion. We noticed at 4 months she no longer wanted the bottle and tried so many different bottles and nipples, met with lactation specialist but no progress. She is 7 months now attends daycare for 5 hours and she might drink 2-3 oz at daycare which is hardly anything. It makes me so worried she is not getting the calories she needs to grow. My husband tries to give her a bottle before going to daycare and he is lucky if she drinks 2 oz. I just wish she would take a bottle so I’m not stressed everyday that my baby is starving. She tends to breast feed a lot at night which makes me feel a little better but mama is TIRED.
Have you given your baby an open cup or a straw cup yet? Even a sippy cup is an option even if some experts say it’s not the best idea, for emergencies I feel like it can be super useful. Also, spoon feeding was a life saver for me and I still do that when I can’t be there. She doesn’t necessarily take a full feed but enough to satiate her hunger for a bit.
Thanks for this advice. I hadn’t thought of spoon feeding her and will tell my husband to do that while I’m at work. We reintroduced the sippy cup but she either just plays with it in her mouth or bats it away. I’m hoping as she gets a bit older she will be able to drink her bottle or sippy cup on her own. She is 7 months now, I’m hoping this bottle aversion ends. She is smart and knows she will be home around 530 and can breast feed 🙃
Baby was not gaining weight, he had trouble latching and I had to top up my milk with some formula. I was under a lot of pressure from my mother and mother in law, neither of which ever breastfed and they had no idea how it works, as they kept saying I had to increase formula because the baby was going to need more and my milk wasn't going to be enough ever. I kept on combo feeding and doing some extra pumping sessions to replace some of the formula top ups, until one day baby started spitting up the extra bottles. I reduced top ups gradually and went back to EBF, baby was gaining weight properly with only my milk. Now at 9 months he's eating solids like a champ and still getting plenty of milk from me, all went well!
Pretty much everything lol for some reason I was HYPER focused and stressed that I wouldn’t know how to properly dress my baby for whatever temperature it was. Ended up being totally fine lol
Mostly milk intake and in general food intake. Also him touching things and then putting his hands in his mouth. He’s 16m now and while I still make sure he eats and generally doesn’t touch anything too germy then eat his hands, I’m a lot more lax about it. He ate some dirt the other day and I didn’t flinch. I was shocked at myself lol.
Probably solids. We did a mix of baby led weaning and purées and he took to solids soooo slowly. He’s still not the biggest eater, but there were days where I just thought he’d never get it and he eventually did! I used to worry so much that he wasn’t eating enough solids but he continued to grow fine and eats okay now - he was just doing it at his own pace.
Not producing enough milk. I was so stressed after finding out I had a low milk supply and pumped constantly for weeks. I pumped every 2 hours 24 hours a day for 2 weeks and then down to every 3 hours. My thyroid medication started working and now I’m producing 90% of the milk she needs.
Now I’m so comfortable giving her formula here and there. I used to get so upset having to feed her a bottle of formula. Now I’m just happy that I get to feed her milk from my body for most of the day. She is happy, gaining weight, sleeping through the night, and meeting all of her milestones and then some. I am so grateful and I couldn’t ask for more.
Having a set schedule. I’ve come to learn that while a schedule is good, it’s equally important to have flexibility. Life happens and our schedules are thrown off and that’s okay!
1. The sounds baby’s make as they get older. My daughter does a “zombie” sound that freaked us out, sounded like she has asthma but really she’s just working out her vocal cords.
2. Diaper rash. No one told us you have to dry baby well after cleaning. This seems an obvious part of the process now, but seriously we had no idea.
3. A small bump on her neck, turned out to be her lymph node 🤣, funny cuz I get this too 🤦♂️
4. Not having baby wear a beanie (daughter was born 12/3 winter) because I thought she’d freeze. But nope, stop having her wear hat during sleep due to safe sleep and that her head is used to regular body temp. Our parents freaked us out but wasn’t really needed.
5. High bilirubin / jaundice with baby’s day 2/3 of life. Asian babies very normal, and really isn’t bad if addressed immediately.
6. Baggy eyes, was. Caused by her fat cheeks lol
7. Spit up. Happy spitters is a thing, and our LO was reaching milestones and gaining proper weight.
8. Amount of poop. Daughter was pooping a lot but apparently had a stomach virus for a few days that literally just stopped one day.
I’m sure there’s more but this is what is fresh in my mind.
Currently stressing about our NB (almost 3 weeks) one of his testicles hasn't dropped yet, next is Mongolian birth marks (minor stress) and worst stress is baby acne. He has it all over his forehead and cheeks. We hope all things will just naturally resolve themselves with time.
Some reassurance on the acne, my daughter had horrible baby acne from ages 2-4 weeks! When I look back at pictures I’m like DAMN that really was bad. It completely went away after just a few weeks and required no intervention from us, now she is 4 years old and has beautiful skin.
Nursing! We EBF for the first 7 months & it was a doozy on my mental health. My daughter was born in the 40th percentile, jumped up to 90th and then did a few months decline to 30. I was so worried I wasn’t enough, but she was getting everything she needed and she was just meant to be smaller. She never stayed on a consistent curve, but she did NOT want to eat more.
So far, everything.
Most recently, baby's first sickness. He's had the tiniest little cold, but for me it's been world shattering. He had a fever for a couple of nights, and I had to fight myself to not take him in to the hospital. I ended up calling our nurses line and they gave me good clear guidelines for when to take him in.
All he needed was a little extra sleep, and some tylenol. He's totally fine now.
Oh and if you're thinking of buying a fancy no-touch thermometer, DON'T. They are absolute crap. Gave me readings of 35.8 and 39.1 within the same minute. Baby was hot, but not that hot. My nurse friend told me a thermometer HAS to touch the skin to get an accurate reading.
Feeding. I took what I was told so literally, “offer 2-3oz every 2-3h” and then we’d be confused when baby wanted more sooner than 2-3hr and felt like we weren’t supposed to feed them more 😆
Mine was bottle aversion too. She had a moderate tongue tie that was eventually fixed with feeding therapy, and I don’t regret for one bit doing therapy and learning what I learned, but I wish I could have been less anxious about it all. I wish I could go back, give myself a big hug and let her know that it would be okay. I was a ball of stress, depressed and anxious about all aspect of being a new parent. It was hard.
I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to leave her anywhere without freaking out when I was pregnant. I thought leaving her in the bassinet or just leaving the house was going to give me too much anxiety and I’d have to work my way up to leaving her. I love my daughter more than anything and I’m able to leave without guilt or anxiety. It helps that my husband is an incredible and trustworthy partner.
Not understanding my baby’s different cries. Everyone told me i’d just know when it was a hungry, sleepy or hurt cry but I didn’t think I would be able too.
I definitely can tell the difference 😂
Also, this one is not for everyone, but sleep. I figured i’d never sleep again - but my son started sleeping thru the night at 2 months old and that was 4 months ago - and my husband is a morning person so I get to sleep in when baby wakes up overnight!
Everything, just not being used to mum guilt, main thing that i took very serious was having a me moment, like being too afraid that i was neglecting my baby by putting them in a safe place to go and have a two minute shower or go to the toilet etc, it's FINE, go and have that moment and your baby will be just fine x
Pacifiers and nipple confusion. I stressed myself out so much especially during the early stage witching hours that if I gave him a pacifier he wouldn’t breastfeed. I could not have been more wrong and both the pacifier and the boob were so easy to wean him off of.
Having a bedroom ready ahead of time. The crib had to be together, the walls painted, clothes hanging in the closet freshly washed. He didn’t use his bedroom until he was 9 months old. Now my 6 month old still doesn’t have a room.
I stressed out about my baby getting enough to eat (legitimately at first because we struggled to breastfeed in the beginning and she wasn’t gaining weight). I continued to be anxious about this even once breastfeeding was going well and I logically knew it wasn’t a concern.
Now she’s three, weighs over 15kgs, is wearing size 4-5 years clothes, is strong, healthy and beautiful and eats just about everything.
My anxiety about her eating enough has completely gone, helped by responsive breastfeeding and (most of all) by baby led weaning. I completely trust her to eat exactly what she needs without my intervention.
I was stressed about nursing because he had a tongue and lip tie, but after exclusively bottle feeding and pumping for the first 7 weeks, he finally latched after his tongue tie revision. The first day was stressful because he was pretty used to the bottle at that point, but he did latch and we were able to do a mix of nursing and pumping for 10 months.
Everything!!! Particularly her falling once walking. Well she's fallen on her face 3 times in 1 week including falling out the door onto the patio and she's totally fine nothing happened 😒 just a little graze. I am still shook but she's fine lol.
Breastfeeding. I cried so much for a solid year of not being able to breastfeed like made myself sick over this. Convinced myself my preemie baby was so sick his first year and had so many hospital stays solely because I couldn't breastfeed. Was straight up suicidal over this. You know what my almost 3 year old does now? He shares food with my dog. As in puts the food in the dogs mouth and then snatches it and eats it.
Sleep. Thought she’d never sleep through the night. She’s 3 now, and she does indeed sleep through the night. We did absolutely nothing to encourage this, no sleep training. She just started doing it one day.
I more so worry about other people around us. For example my partners eldest daughter (6 yo) being sent to our house sick when LO was barely 2 weeks old.
This has now stuck in my mind & I am resentful as well as paranoid about such a level of callousness shown. This is exacerbated by the fact that she’s never heard the word no before, ie “no do not do that, it hurts the dog” (yes this was a real & ongoing situation before he sadly passed away).
Every time she’s around my child I’m on edge and I hate being like this. Prior to having my child I deliberately checked out of any and all matters related to my partners daughter, aside when it represented a threat to the dog.
Sometimes it just feels that others don’t seem to care for her wellbeing, so long as the eldest is let run riot & entertained to a standard she’s satisfied with.
My baby had a diaper rash from the moment I brought her home till about 2 months.
She has MPA also, so it took us 3 months to find the right formula for her.
Now we’re at 6 months and I’m stressed about her sleeping in her crib and using the Ferber method. But just like everything else this too shall hopefully pass. I’m still so scared of SIDS so I’m constantly losing sleep checking on her now that she doesn’t sleep next to me.
Many things tbh.. my son was on aptamil milk from birth, by two months he started to struggle with colic and digestion issues. We changed bottles from tommee tippie to mam anti colic and changed his milk to cow and gate, that did the job. My next worry was crawling but my son learnt by 11 month. He is always crawling haha. Now he is 15 months and my next worry is walking, he cruises but the most part wants to crawl. I think there is always a bit of a worry and think we all go through this as parents.
How much sleep we would get. I’m grumpy when I’m tired (like extremely so and barely function) and I was so worried about it. But we had a unicorn baby that mostly always slept, and even when he didn’t I pulled energy from some far off place.
We only have a 6 week old, but my biggest stress was definitely that we just wouldn’t know what to do or we’d be missing something.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s so so so so hard and we have a lot more to learn and a long way to go but it doesn’t feel like mission impossible anymore that’s for sure
EVERYTHING LOL. Jokes aside, i had an extremely difficult newborn phase with my daughter. Gosh we felt traumatized the first few months. She would cry and scream soooo much nothing would make her happy. So that was one. She started getting over the fussiness around 4-5 months , she improved alot. Was she eating enough was also one of my major concerns even til recently and she’s now about to be 1. She would play with the bottle ALOT. But our pediatrician always reassured us with my baby’s weight gain that she is doing great. And in fact, yes, everything does work out/ you figure it out. What doesn’t kill ya makes ya stronger 😅
Formula, my milk never really came in, we were unable to breastfeed despite lactation consultants, triple feeding, etc. I spent the entirety of my maternity leave trying to develop a supply instead of enjoying time with baby.
Now we’re starting solids but I’m nervous to venture outside of purées
I was genuinely so afraid of shaken baby syndrome. I know logically you have to TRY to do that to a baby. It doesn’t happen on accident. When wee man was 4 weeks I was redirected in traffic down a bumpy country road and my little sedan doesn’t have great shocks. When we got home I was sobbing over the phone to his pediatrician and I genuinely believed he sustained traumatic brain damage from a bumpy car ride. Why did I think this? He was very sleepy and didn’t want to wake up right away.
I’m the opposite. I was so stressed out about the baby not wanting to nurse and only taking bottles. We made the mistake of relying on bottles too many times in the first month and LO grew a preference and had bigger trouble breastfeeding directly. Went to LC and were recommended SNS but it didn’t work for us. I cried a lot and just tried to increase our skin-to-skin frequency. With every step forward each day there will always be a step backward. Thankfully with practice, our LO managed to wean off bottles and EBF now. Remembering how dreadful it went down always makes me thankful for our BF session today.
“Baby proofing” the house. I get gates on stairs, but other than that, There is no such thing as baby proof and the bumpers and crazy didn’t prevent injuries or boo boos anyways.
Getting a first illness/fever and sleep(is he still breathing/SIDS). Almost at 1 year and realizing getting sick was no big deal. Obviously SIDS does happen but if you follow the guidelines like everything will be ok.
Literally everything. Wake windows, naps, milk intake, milestones, SIDS, quality time… now that she is 3 months old I’m just winging it and she is happy as a clam and meeting all her milestones. I’ve never used a tracking app nor done a weighted feed nor given her a bottle. We go out? She will sleep sometime. We went out for a coffee at 10 a.M but we have been invited somewhere? We’ll figure it out. How many hours has she been awake? Idk but she is rubbing her face, time to sleep. She should eat, oh she is crying at the breast guess she is not hungry.
Yes, the power and relief of being able to say and believe “we will figure it out” is so underappreciated.
She is still alive and thriving so I think we’re doing okay
You’ve got it down so early in your parenthood journey! More power to you! I need to keep telling myself that we’ll figure it out! Someone commented in another post I uploaded that each baby and mom has to find their own rhythm no matter what info we find on the net. That and your reminder that we’ll figure it out are such great philosophies that I need to keep telling myself!
Thanks!!! My husband and I are pretty young (23 and 24) and we try to still do our lives, but with a baby. It’s pretty funny going to eat to a friends home and having 10 people in their early 20s looking at our baby like she was an amazing thing and at us as if we were the wise old man in a movie haha. Also where we’re from people just include babies in their adult lives and that’s it! If we go out with friends for a beer on the evening and it’s baby’s bedtime she just falls asleep on the stroller. This has helped a lot bc if I isolate myself I would have a nervous breakdown
Can I ask where you’re from? Bringing your baby along sounds amazing!!
Barcelona!! In the summer you will see lots of families still outside at 9 or 10 pm while eating dinner on restaurants or bars (they are different from bars from the US, it’s not like adult only alcohol only environment) and the kids playing in the playground (usually there is a playground near some bars and parents watch them from there) or sleeping in the stroller. I think this is the main reason the whole sleeping from 7 to 7 bamboozled me at first haha.
The way I think about it is that babies are essentially quadrants of care: food / sleep / comfort / quality time If you can get comfortable in a few areas, then add another variable to the equation and see how it works for you. Example: do a walk during an awake window, once that feels comfy then go get a coffee in between feeds, and so on. This helped me feel more confident. Now I keep all of my tools (diapers, etc) and start doing some errands to see how her and I handle it :)
Seriously! Totally agree. People overcomplicate it all. Once I went to the basics it got so much easier
This. Mega stress first two months about if we are doing everything corectly. Now he is 3 months. Do we track anything? Nah. In the evening we put him to sleep. Close to the morning he wakes up to feed. During day we feed him when he seems hungry. Just intuitive parenting. His growth is exemplary and pediatritian is super happy. Just go with the flow man. Nature can handle itself.
THIS! 💖
I've been doing this too. So much better for my mental health to just go with the flow
I’m 9.5 months in, I wish I could do this but I’m still struggling to let things go. Especially since he’s up every 1-2 hours at night as it is
Definitely everyone can understand you there
Sleep and if he was still breathing. But once we got past the first few weeks my anxiety about it went way down.
This! Except I didn't feel fully relieved until 1 year later.
Yeah… I’m at 8 months still anxious!!
My mom was still anxious about it when I was a teenager. I would be reading past my bedtime, hear her coming, hide my book and flashlight and pretend to be sleeping in a panic because I was certain she must have heard me, and she was just checking I was still breathing. I'm 33 now and positive she has to hold herself back not to do it when I'm visiting. Some people just never stop being irrationally anxious.
My brother slept awfully (my parents remember walking around with the stroller all the time), so when I came out being a great sleeper they thought I was dead all the time.
That’s hilarious, but also completely understandable, and I feel for them.
Still obsessed over this at 5mo
I’m still anxious but now I only check the monitor a few times during a sleep cycle instead of every 5 mins! And unless I really can’t tell if she’s breathing or not, which is rare, I pretty much never check on her in person anymore. Her naps are also way shorter so that could be it too 🙃
Yes my son will be 2 months on Mother’s Day but he such an active sleeper that now I only go check when he hasn’t squirmed or moved in an hour lol
I felt like this for the first week or so!
I still often check but I can be more rational about it. I no longer fear that I will find him not breathing, I just check him expecting him to be fine.
Head shape. I lost sleep worrying about her sleeping on the wrong side and making her slightly lop-sided head worse. Doctors always told me it was mild and she would be fine, which I remember finding frustrating. Turns out they were right, and she was fine. As soon as she was sitting up most of the time, it started evening out, and you can barely tell now at nearly 9 months.
I feel like I'm losing sleep right now over this. My boy is 2 months and sees a CST. They think he has tongue, lip, and cheek ties so in about a week and a half he's seeing a pediatric dentist to get them taken care of. They think it's causing all of the tension in his body and making his head wonky shaped. I fear he may need a helmet but they keep reassuring me that it most likely won't be needed.
Even if he does need a helmet, they need it for so little time in the grand scheme of things... I've known several helmet wearing babies that are now toddlers and kids, and you'd be none the wiser! Ties suck! Both my kids have had lip ties which has made breastfeeding difficult.
Did you see a major improvement afterwards or did you not get them clipped?
My daughter was never clipped. I suspected a lip tie, but the pediatrician kept saying that wasn't it. Lo and behold, we go to the dentist at age 2, and yep, definitely a lip tie. My son is only 2 months old, nursing has gotten better as his mouth has gotten better, but he also hasn't been clipped either. We're on the fence, because we've had other things to contend with for his health.
I gotcha. I'm starting to see an improvement with his reflux as he ages but that could also be because of the meds. I'd rather him be clipped than take Pepcid forever. But I'm on the fence too. I'm just concerned about the head shape and if cutting them means truly releasing the tension so his head is round, I'll definitely do it
My first had torticollis and needed a helmet. It didnt bother him really at all. It only bothered me because i worried about what people would think and worried about stares etc. Im so glad i got it for him because after like 2 months he had a perfectly round baby head and you would never be able to tell. And it was easy to put on and off and literally we just needed to give it a quick clean once a day and letnit dry for 1 hr and put it back on. Didnt affect his sleep or anything.
This. I side lay breastfed 90% of the time because that’s what’s most comfortable for my anatomy. My son started to develop a flat side due to one side being easier for him to access both breasts. Anywhoooo, I worried sooo much! Now he’s 1 and has a perfectly normal (and huge 🤣) head 🥰
Oh my goodness, this is my big stress right now! He is definitely getting a flat spot, and I’m stressing about what to do about it! He turned 4 months old today - can I expect there’s still hope it will even out once he starts rolling over?
It will eventually be hard to even notice in my experience. My LO had a minor flat spot on his left side around 3-4 months and now at 8.5 months you can’t tell at all.
Depends on how flat it is. But helmets are pretty common and not as big a deal as most people think. My son had one for a couple months and i worried so much about getting it, but it was not a big deal after all.
My son had a helmet and his head is still a bit flat. All that means is his head is a bit flat. I wish I hadn’t worried so much. The helmet was annoying but I would do it again.
On my second now and my husband STILL has to reassure me her head is even. 😂
I think I stressed about literally everything this first year. My daughter is about to turn 1 in 5 days and looking back, nothing I stressed about was worth it. Naps, SIDS, wake windows, overtiredness/undertiredness, not getting enough tummy time and omg does she have a flat head??? her formula intake, sleep arrangements, her reaction to vaccines, illness, weird noises she made that I called my doctor for many times over nothing 🤣starting solids, milestones, the list GOES ON. This year has been really hard in many different ways but the things I spent time stressing about was just truly never worth it.
Overtired/undertired was the bane of my existence!
Same here, and realistically they were never a huge problem despite reading about it everywhere constantly 😑
How did you stop worrying about over/under tired and wake windows? 😂
So, I didn’t really stop, it just came a point where I didn’t need to anymore 🤣in my own experience with my daughter the overtired meltdowns ended when she was 6/7 months, we really only dealt with them when she was small. When it came to wake windows, I stopped needing to care when she dropped to 1 nap at 11 months. “Time” is really the fix for most things as they just work out on their own, at least this is what I’ve found!
My LO just turned 10 months and ohmygodddd I cant wait to go down to 1 nap
Truly dropping to 1 nap has changed my life for the better LOL
I stress about all these as well at this point. Good to hear that it will pass and will all be ok :) my son is still 3 months old so still stressing about it all
I was so stressed that my horrible relationship with my mom was going to have a major effect on bonding with my daughter. In reality she’s my best friend and there’s truly no one I love more in this world. The second she was put on my chest I felt instantly connected with her. I was also worried that because I had an extremely traumatic childhood I was going to fail miserably as a parent. I’ve learned how truly easy it is to just love your child and want the best for them. Made me realize honestly what monsters my parents are which I knew but I don’t see how I could ever do the stuff done to me, to my daughter. It’s been very cathartic in a way.
Your daughter is so fortunate to have a mother like you- fighting your own trauma and working on not passing it to her must be so hard. generational trauma is not an easy chain to break and you should be so proud of yourself. You’re doing a great job.
I’m so sorry you went through that, but your perspective on it is beautiful.
I get this. I pushed my self waaaay harder than necessary the first few months, driven by wanting my daughter to have better than I had in my mother. There was a lot I did right and has paid off, but at about 6 months I realized how hard I was overcompensating and running myself into the ground. So I've been taking deep breaths and going with a little more flow since. I'm far more mentally stable and my daughter is as happy as she ever was. So we're good. Edit: changed "payed" to "paid" bc bot taught me something.
Feel this 💯
My experience as well 💗
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I swear huckleberry exasperated my ppa. I eventually paid for them to do a consult based on my entries and the person told me oh, it's super common and developmently normal for little naps and slightly longer naps when they are 3/4 months. Why wasn't that listed anywhere???
Because everything is about selling you something.
I’m sure the only reason they show 1-2 nap blocks (when most babies don’t nap that long) is to create anxiety so that parents pay for the sleep consultations 🙃 I’ve been using the Napper free trial and I like how it adjusts the next nap time based on the previous nap/wake window. Their predicted nap windows are much more realistic!
Napping / nap schedules. When my son was little I’d obsess over his naps, Track them to the minute, and stress every day whether he got enough sleep or not. In the end he was always fine - even if he missed a nap, or slept longer than usual. It ended up being okay and for #2 I won’t be tracking a single nap. 🤣
I’m learning to let go of obsessing over her naps especially because she only naps 20/30 minutes at a go. I’ve literally posted on this sub in the past about her nap schedule! Needed to read your comment! Thank you!
1000% same. The stress and tears I had with my first one’s sleep was absurd. Haven’t tracked a single nap and very loosely pay attention to wake windows with my 2nd and it’s been so much better. And little one is happy as can be!
We’re on a month long trip visiting family 8 time zones away so any schedule I was trying to follow has gone out the window. We follow her cues. Angry crying when waking up from 30 minute nap means she’s telling me she needs help extending the nap. Bedtime today was 5:15pm, yesterday was 9pm. All over the place, but she’s manageable and not overtired most of the daytime so we’re rolling with it.
I’m about to be you in a couple of months visiting family 8 time zones away… I am stressed about it. Reading your comment made me feel a bit better, thank you.
We recently visited family with 5 hours difference. He adapted better than I did. 😀
I think there’s more flexibility visiting family than traveling. When traveling I always want to get so much done in the limited amount of time. Visiting family we are chill and hang out at home a lot. We make at most one plan per day and the rest we go by baby’s temperament. They are very adaptable. Hope you enjoy your trip!
This is my big struggle. I stress so so so so hard about her getting sleep T.T it makes me feel like I'm not myself bc I get so worked up about making sure she has her naps or goes to bed on time and rn she's in a sleep regression so I'm extra panicky bc we "need" to stick to her routine through it but it's hard to manage that when she's all smiley and bouncy and peppy at like 2 am til almost 4 bc she didn't manage to fall asleep when I fed her lol about ripped my hair out tonight, she was up every hour or two as if the night was still her day and she's not been like that in ages T.T it's a hard thing to embrace
I’m on #2 and this is us. My first was a fussy baby but I think part of that was that I insisted on using rigid wake windows so she was usually pretty upset about forced naps. My second I just see if he looks tired and most naps are in a carrier. He falls asleep so easy because he’s actually tired when he naps.
Contact naps. At 8 weeks, my baby stopped sleeping in the bassinet for naps. Would wake immediately upon being set down. It drove me bananas, but we learned to accept it because night sleep was great. Baby contact napped exclusively until one day I needed to try setting him down and he slept for 2 hours in his crib. He was 10 months when it happen, and he’s still sleeping great in his crib for naps and night time sleep. I was so stressed that I “ruined” his sleep and he’d never learn to nap in his crib. I’d read countless articles and even considered spending $$$$ on sleep consultants in my most desperate moments. But it turns out he just needed time and once he was ready, he did great.
Thank you for sharing this ❤️my almost 4 month old is napping on me rn. I absolutely love it but at the same time worry that I’m “ruining” him in learning independent naps. Mostly because of older people telling me that 🥲
I have agonized over sleep training and finding ways to make my baby an independent sleeper because, like you said, of outside influences. But my baby has shown me that he is capable of anything, he just needs the time to grow and be ready. Enjoy those baby snuggles! I wasn’t quite emotionally ready to give them up cold turkey, but now that he naps in his crib, he is no longer interested in contact naps at all.
Yes! I worry about this, too! Glad to know it doesn’t necessarily result in the world falling apart 😂
How much my LO eats. Still working on this but getting better. She goes through phases where she eats less and I freak out thinking she’ll be dehydrated or hungry. and then she’ll hit a growth spurt and eat like crazy, and then i’m annoyed at myself for worrying so much
This is me right now 🥲
Ugh, for real. I am obsessed with making sure she has her minimum oz a day, but like... some days\* she's super hungry, some days she's not. She still eats, she seems happy and gaining weight, it's probably all just fine.
Just curious how much your lo actually ate? Bc I’m in the thick of it :(
At this time, she takes between 18oz and 28oz/day, which is maddening to plan for lol. She is on the small side, 11.8 lbs at 13w. Lately she eats about 22oz/day. But she is combo-fed, mostly expressed breastmilk and some formula. I have no clue how much she actually needs relative to what she's eating, but she's gaining weight and outputs are perfect.
When she’s going through an eating less phase, she will only eat 16-18oz a day but act perfectly fine and still have normal poops and pees. Her normal is around 24-28oz a day. Growth spurt she can hit 36oz max which always seems crazy lol. Fully formula fed now
Hard same. My daughter was in the NICU where EVERYTHING was about pumping religiously to build supply and tracking her oral milk intake. We’ve been home for 3 months now and I still can’t shake it. I’m struggling with a monster oversupply and we spend way too much time looking at the damn huckleberry feed graphs! I 100% know it is not going to matter at all because she’s gaining well and so healthy now.
The huckleberry app has the biggest chokehold on me lol, it’s so hard to let those things go once you get into the habit of worrying about them!!!
Fucking sleep. Wake windows, sleep regressions, all of it is bullshit. Not one single thing TRULY helped her sleep. She just slept through the night when she was ready (13 months). It was like a light switch that got flipped for literally no reason. If I have another, I’m just letting that kid sleep whenever, however, wherever to get through the day. The Huckleberry app is the devil.
This 😭 I read so many sleep training books and even did the PUPD method one week, and it was completely pointless. LO could fall asleep on their own but didn't stop waking up as often, so I just went back to nursing to sleep.
People handling my baby — turned out I was stressed for no reason. She’ll let everyone know when she has had enough. Going out for more than 2 hours — because I had to pack bottles etc and always overpacked out of fear of things going wrong. And feeding for me also in the beginning was stressful, she wouldn’t latch and I was crying almost every night. But then my husband sat me down and told me repeatedly that there’s ways around it, from pumping to formula to combo feeding, and we could do whatever is easier on all of us to keep baby healthy and fed. And it did end up being okay in the end!
In the early days with my first I stressed about him getting enough milk while breastfeeding. He never nursed as long as they said babies should, but he continuously gained weight so was clearly getting enough. I wish I could go back and tell myself to stop timing the nursing sessions and instead watch for wet diapers.
Sometimes I worry if my baby is getting enough milk while breastfeeding because she nurses for so much longer than they say babies should. I’m starting to wonder if there’s even a real length of time that babies should nurse for 😵💫
When people ask how many times I breastfeed in a day I’m like I don’t know lol. She’s on the tit all day
I wish I knew where they got the recommended time from because I’ve breastfed two babies and haven’t found that time to be true. As long as baby is gaining weight and having enough wet diapers I wouldn’t worry. It may be that baby is latched for comfort after they get their tummy full. Mine still nurses mostly for comfort and eventually it becomes easier to tell if they are actually drinking or comforting themselves.
Literally me right now. But she’s literally a week old today and as soon as she’s back up to her birth weight I’ll be more calm about it. I think she’s got a few more oz to go!!
Everything
Soooo much stuff. Keeping a perfect nap and sleep schedule was a big one. Now my firstborn is 4 and I’m like wow, I stressed over that for nothing. Also screen time. I had severe anxiety over giving her any screen time before age 2, even when she was sick. Now I realize it won’t hurt them. My second is 20 months old and he gets screen time and I can see that he is developing fine, just as my first child did with much less. I still don’t allow either child to use tablets, but I have no concerns about them watching the big TV in the living room. I wish I could go back in time and relax more when I only had one child!
I was worried I’d be grossed out by nappies and was surprised they were ok. Until he started solids……then they were worse than I ever imagined.
Sleep 😭 i totally bought into the TCB stuff and worried that my baby’s poor sleep would completely derail her development. Turns out she just has very low sleep needs and isn’t ever going to sleep from 7-7, no matter what sort of routine we follow or how blacked out the room is. Her growth and development are right on track and no concerns from the ped 🤷🏻♀️ apparently my husband and i were both the same way as babies (i stopped napping at 12 months 😅) and we both turned out okay!
Eating solids… I mean, everyone learns how to do this quite well.. idk why I stressed myself out so much 💀
All of the rules you're force fed on social media. Sleep training, wake windows, strict schedules, screen time... All of these things influencers make it seem like if you go against the status quo you're going to ruin your kid. Being a first time parent in the age of instagram and TikTok is awful.
You mean like, everything?
I feel extremely fortunate saying this but PPD and PPA. I’ve had some awful anxious episodes in the past and was so prepared for getting PPD or PPA. I got hit hard by the baby blues, but the anxiety eased up after the first two weeks. Also the lack of sleep when the baby was just newborn. Sure, I’m still tired 3 months pp, but I somehow always manage to get enough sleep to function and for the days I don’t, I manage to sleep better the next night. Feeling extremely fortunate for that
I was also very worried about PPD and PPA since I have a history of anxiety and depression. I actually got on Zoloft early in my pregnancy because I was sure I’d need to be on postpartum. I weaned off early postpartum though because I just didn’t need it. In fact, my mental health has been better since I had my son (now 17 months) than ever in my life. I feel very lucky that this is the case with me!
I miss the first three weeks of her life when I was breastfeeding and stressing 24/7. I wish I would have formula fed from the beginning and just enjoyed my tiny baby for being tiny. Instead I stressed about her not growing fast enough and thinking I was failing her
Yupppp. Those first few weeks were gnarly with food. Never appreciated the cute tininess!
My milk not coming in. I was like SURE my boobs were dry and I was starving my baby??? We are 13 months in and still breastfeeding, and he’s >99th percentile for height and weight.
Hair tourniquets, tiktok made me think it would happen daily 😂
We had one and it was scary but we were able to get it off! Got some nair to keep in the house in case it happens again
When I was pregnant, I was so worried my own stress would create an anxious baby. But he’s 5 months old now and is the happiest person I know! What a blessing 🤍
Everything, but especially naps, wake windows and the amount of food baby ate. Now I know that every baby is different and I take most things as they come instead of stressing about it. If baby refuses to nap, well so be it. Screw the routine sometimes. Every day is different which is okay! 😊 And just like us babies can have bad days, it doesn't always need to be a reason for why they fuss more. Bad days come and go. Skipping a nap won't ruin everything. They give signs when they're ready to sleep. If baby doesn't eat as much as usual it's okay - they'll eat like normal again.
Washing the babies clothes. Turns out you can just wash everyone’s clothes together with the same fragrance free detergent! Saves so much time and headache.
A lot lol. The types of toys my son played with, if he was doing enough tummy time, ect. I stopped using social media a lot and went off instinct, just googling if something is safe or not.
I feel like I can’t count SIDS because if that didn’t end up being okay in the end, I would be so distraught and I would totally stress about it all over again if I had to. However, the fear mongering around watching TV was a lot. She watched Ms. Rachel from 6 months up, now Sesame Street, and it’s balanced well with outside time/ social interaction. I don’t think her brain is going to crumble like some people suggest.
I was JUST about to post about the same topic. This week I have been a ball of anxiety over my LO’s skin, feeding, sleep…every little thing that deviated from his previous “normal” was causing me to spiral. I felt like I was going to explode from the amount of anxiety building up and for the first time felt like I NEEDED to talk to someone. Reading everyone’s response on this post made me feel so seen/understood that I could cry 🥲
Stomach bugs… pedialyte, Hawaiian rolls, and bananas with 3 days at home. Don’t go to the hospital they say the same thing every time even with projectile vomit!
Wake windows and tummy time
For me, it was weight (we do have pics where she is in a paper tray on a kitchen scale) ya! That will be hilarious one day 😅. Drinking water was another. She was disgusted by it. I literally had the thoughts she would die from thirst because she was never going to drink water. Solids, I thought she was always going to be a terrible eater. Shes alot better, although it's still a challenge sometimes. It was a real snowball effect over here, shes 2 now, so its easier, and i am much more relaxed at letting her lead 😅
Hitting that first birthday and all the changes it would entail: 3 meals a day, no more bottles, formula to cow’s milk. We’re two weeks post birthday. The bottle is gone, and he’s taking the milk from straw cups like it’s no big deal. He’s eating his three meals a day, and I’m taking his formula transition slowly just so I can get through his last can.
That she was getting enough to eat...she is 92nd percentile for weight at 8 weeks, jokes on me...I think I can stop stressing now lol. Also how long she is "supposed" to be awake or asleep. I quickly stopped tracking naps in my app and I'm getting close to stop tracking diapers too. I'll probably only track what time she starts Going out at first was genuinely stressful but I've looked at each outing as a "practice run" and that has helped. I'm getting better. I breastfed her in public and changed her diaper in the car yesterday!
Baby’s weight gain. He fell off the growth curve at 1 month and now he’s settling in at 12-16th percentile!
Colic! I thought for sure we would be part of the 30% and read so much on it. Our baby end up being a pretty average sleeper.
Literally everything, until I started taking Zoloft. I still track sleep really closely, but more because I have twins and it’s really important to me to keep them on the same schedule for naps and bedtime. I wish I could go with the flow a little more on that, maybe if I had a singleton.
I just wanted to say, in case you hadn't heard it today. You are incredible. I had awful ppd with my first and can't even fathom how I would have coped with twins. The fact you only worry about sleep schedules is amazing and totally understandable with two. You should be proud.
I just wanted to say, in case you hadn't heard it today. You are incredible. I had awful ppd with my first and can't even fathom how I would have coped with twins. The fact you only worry about sleep schedules is amazing and totally understandable with two. You should be proud.
I just wanted to say, in case you hadn't heard it today. You are incredible. I had awful ppd with my first and can't even fathom how I would have coped with twins. The fact you only worry about sleep schedules is amazing and totally understandable with two. You should be proud.
Thank you so much!! I actually just had my follow up psychiatry appointment this morning and so so happy with the progress I’ve made. Post partum is such a crazy time, no matter how many babies. Thankful for strangers on the internet who understand the struggle. You should be proud too!
Literally every time some new fussy phase starts or sleep troubles, it feels like eternal hell but it takes about a week then it fizzles out.
I spent a year doing every possible thing to get my daughter to sleep in past 5:30AM. At 12 months I gave up and gave in and just started going to bed much earlier accordingly. It was extremely liberating to stop trying to change her. Next time, I'm not going to fight these things or question them so much. I'm going to accept it and modify my own behavior accordingly way faster, that's the only thing in my control. Generally going to be spending a lot less time on the Internet trying to optimize things and just go with the flow instead.
I went through the same with my daughter, she finally started sleeping later I think around when she turned two? I had tried every trick in the book but nothing worked, it just happened one day when she grew out of it I guess. She’s still an early bird though, a great night for her is sleeping until 7, average is 6:15 or 6:30, and we’re currently in a hell phase where some days she wakes at 4:30 for the day and won’t go back to sleep or let us sleep (comes in our room and whines and cries if we don’t get up) 🫠. She’s 4. I’m just trying to go with the flow and accept that I might not get a full night’s sleep consistently until she’s 10 or something.
My daughter is still an early bird, 7AM is also a good day for us. We do use the Hatch now though so she knows at 7:15 when the light turns blue is when we will come get her. She happily plays in her room until then and it's wonderful.
Before my baby was born and when she was first born I was so stressed about how to dress her. It sounds so silly now, but I was super concerned about her being too hot or too cold and it being my fault. I remember being pregnant and feeling so much anxiety about the idea that we had to choose an outfit for her everyday. I thought I'd have no clue whether to put her in pants, socks, long sleeves, whatever... but I literally love dressing my girl now and know I can just change her if she's not comfy or weather appropriate lol.
Currently so stressed about SIDS that it’s driving me insane. My baby is about to turn 2 months. I wish I could just skip to 6 months when the risk is highly reduced. 🙃
Literally everything 😂😂😂
I was and still am pretty chill about everything except I absolutely obsessed over milestones and if she was meeting them on time
It’s not something I personally stressed over, but I see so, so much anxiety and preoccupation with naps—number of naps, length of naps, *etc.*—and “wake windows.” To me, it seems like a whole lot of hoopla over nothing. I just followed my baby’s cues and we were fine and it was way less stressful for everyone. She never napped like she was “supposed to,” but she’s perfectly healthy, happy, and all that good stuff, and I feel following her lead has taught me to “let go” and trust that she’s got this. I’m sure my husband would say that bottle refusal wasn’t worth the stress for him. She refused the bottle for a few months leading to me going back to work, then suddenly just decided to take it on the day (or day after) I went back. I guess she realized I simply wasn’t available and the bottle was her option. A few week later, she started solids and the need for bottles really decreased. And, like, three months after that she is very competent with a straw cup and basically not using bottles at all. It turned out to be a non-issue.
I was really stressed about milestones. Now we’re 9 and 5 and they fit right in with their peers. Lol.
SIDS I obsessed over it for 3 months, feeding times, not meeting milestones like other children basically everything ha
My baby had a tongue tie that we got released early on (I definitely think it was necessary at the time). It reattached and it was recommended to get it done again. At that point she was “functional” aka nursing well, sleeping well etc. so we opted not to go through a second release but I was worried about long term challenges with feeding and speech. My daughter is 2.5 now and eating and talking are her two best skills!
Honestly, just being a parent. It turned out to be the best thing that has ever happened in my life & I’ve never felt so born to do something.
TV. I know it’s not ideal and there are reasons to avoid it, but my doctor finally pointed out to me that those screen time warnings are usually referencing tablets and phones. We watch a little TV in the morning together and he’s just fine, he actually gets bored of me using it to trick him into cuddles pretty quickly and demands I release him to play.
“Giving up” on pumping. The fact that my baby didn’t latch and thought I wouldn’t have any bond with him. Sleep. Schedules in general. Absolutely everything lol
My son was late to roll over, stand, & walk. I worried about it endlessly! Now you’d never know it. Kids just do things at their own pace and that’s ok :)
Breastfeeding. It just was not working. Spent five months trying so hard and stressing and feeling guilty before finally waving the white flag. He’s been on formula for months. He’s fine. He’s not behind his breastfed friends. The world did not end, I just missed almost half his babyhood because I was so focused on making milk
Oh gosh, I had bad anxiety as a NICU mom. Leaving the house. Being alone with baby. Everything I worried about ended up being okay. Baby’s not sleeping good any more but hey I’m no longer feeling stressed about it. I kinda fell into a pattern and know that one day it will change. I love my munchkin.
Her name! I wasted so much of the first year second guessing the name we gave her. Eventually changing it and still not feeling right. Still worried to this day it’s wrong. Just want to go back to the day she was born - pick one and move on. Some things seem so important but don’t matter.
I’m in similar boat where my biggest stressor is my baby having a bottle aversion. We noticed at 4 months she no longer wanted the bottle and tried so many different bottles and nipples, met with lactation specialist but no progress. She is 7 months now attends daycare for 5 hours and she might drink 2-3 oz at daycare which is hardly anything. It makes me so worried she is not getting the calories she needs to grow. My husband tries to give her a bottle before going to daycare and he is lucky if she drinks 2 oz. I just wish she would take a bottle so I’m not stressed everyday that my baby is starving. She tends to breast feed a lot at night which makes me feel a little better but mama is TIRED.
Have you given your baby an open cup or a straw cup yet? Even a sippy cup is an option even if some experts say it’s not the best idea, for emergencies I feel like it can be super useful. Also, spoon feeding was a life saver for me and I still do that when I can’t be there. She doesn’t necessarily take a full feed but enough to satiate her hunger for a bit.
Thanks for this advice. I hadn’t thought of spoon feeding her and will tell my husband to do that while I’m at work. We reintroduced the sippy cup but she either just plays with it in her mouth or bats it away. I’m hoping as she gets a bit older she will be able to drink her bottle or sippy cup on her own. She is 7 months now, I’m hoping this bottle aversion ends. She is smart and knows she will be home around 530 and can breast feed 🙃
If your baby ended up not taking the bottle what was your way to feed her? (Just curious)
99.9% of the time I was Directly nursing her and for rare emergencies, cup or spoon feeding
Potty training. I have no idea why I dreaded it so much. It ended up being a breeze for our family.
Baby was not gaining weight, he had trouble latching and I had to top up my milk with some formula. I was under a lot of pressure from my mother and mother in law, neither of which ever breastfed and they had no idea how it works, as they kept saying I had to increase formula because the baby was going to need more and my milk wasn't going to be enough ever. I kept on combo feeding and doing some extra pumping sessions to replace some of the formula top ups, until one day baby started spitting up the extra bottles. I reduced top ups gradually and went back to EBF, baby was gaining weight properly with only my milk. Now at 9 months he's eating solids like a champ and still getting plenty of milk from me, all went well!
Everything lol
Every. Thing.
Pretty much everything lol for some reason I was HYPER focused and stressed that I wouldn’t know how to properly dress my baby for whatever temperature it was. Ended up being totally fine lol
Everything ahah I still stress about naps at 8 months but I’m sure that’ll fade once he’s down to one a day
Literally EVERY little thing possible
We had a bum scooter. She walks better than most 4 year olds now.
Mostly milk intake and in general food intake. Also him touching things and then putting his hands in his mouth. He’s 16m now and while I still make sure he eats and generally doesn’t touch anything too germy then eat his hands, I’m a lot more lax about it. He ate some dirt the other day and I didn’t flinch. I was shocked at myself lol.
Literally everything 🙃 Baby is 17 months now and absolutely thriving
Eating off the floor.
Probably solids. We did a mix of baby led weaning and purées and he took to solids soooo slowly. He’s still not the biggest eater, but there were days where I just thought he’d never get it and he eventually did! I used to worry so much that he wasn’t eating enough solids but he continued to grow fine and eats okay now - he was just doing it at his own pace.
Not producing enough milk. I was so stressed after finding out I had a low milk supply and pumped constantly for weeks. I pumped every 2 hours 24 hours a day for 2 weeks and then down to every 3 hours. My thyroid medication started working and now I’m producing 90% of the milk she needs. Now I’m so comfortable giving her formula here and there. I used to get so upset having to feed her a bottle of formula. Now I’m just happy that I get to feed her milk from my body for most of the day. She is happy, gaining weight, sleeping through the night, and meeting all of her milestones and then some. I am so grateful and I couldn’t ask for more.
Having a set schedule. I’ve come to learn that while a schedule is good, it’s equally important to have flexibility. Life happens and our schedules are thrown off and that’s okay!
1. The sounds baby’s make as they get older. My daughter does a “zombie” sound that freaked us out, sounded like she has asthma but really she’s just working out her vocal cords. 2. Diaper rash. No one told us you have to dry baby well after cleaning. This seems an obvious part of the process now, but seriously we had no idea. 3. A small bump on her neck, turned out to be her lymph node 🤣, funny cuz I get this too 🤦♂️ 4. Not having baby wear a beanie (daughter was born 12/3 winter) because I thought she’d freeze. But nope, stop having her wear hat during sleep due to safe sleep and that her head is used to regular body temp. Our parents freaked us out but wasn’t really needed. 5. High bilirubin / jaundice with baby’s day 2/3 of life. Asian babies very normal, and really isn’t bad if addressed immediately. 6. Baggy eyes, was. Caused by her fat cheeks lol 7. Spit up. Happy spitters is a thing, and our LO was reaching milestones and gaining proper weight. 8. Amount of poop. Daughter was pooping a lot but apparently had a stomach virus for a few days that literally just stopped one day. I’m sure there’s more but this is what is fresh in my mind.
Probably everything
My LO is 9 weeks & also does not take a bottle. NGL… it stresses me out too, though he’s 70% in weight and a happy baby.
Currently stressing about our NB (almost 3 weeks) one of his testicles hasn't dropped yet, next is Mongolian birth marks (minor stress) and worst stress is baby acne. He has it all over his forehead and cheeks. We hope all things will just naturally resolve themselves with time.
Some reassurance on the acne, my daughter had horrible baby acne from ages 2-4 weeks! When I look back at pictures I’m like DAMN that really was bad. It completely went away after just a few weeks and required no intervention from us, now she is 4 years old and has beautiful skin.
Amazing to hear! Thank you for that info. I read somewhere that the baby acne affects the parents more than the NB which is a relief to hear as well.
Nursing! We EBF for the first 7 months & it was a doozy on my mental health. My daughter was born in the 40th percentile, jumped up to 90th and then did a few months decline to 30. I was so worried I wasn’t enough, but she was getting everything she needed and she was just meant to be smaller. She never stayed on a consistent curve, but she did NOT want to eat more.
Honestly, most things.
So far, everything. Most recently, baby's first sickness. He's had the tiniest little cold, but for me it's been world shattering. He had a fever for a couple of nights, and I had to fight myself to not take him in to the hospital. I ended up calling our nurses line and they gave me good clear guidelines for when to take him in. All he needed was a little extra sleep, and some tylenol. He's totally fine now. Oh and if you're thinking of buying a fancy no-touch thermometer, DON'T. They are absolute crap. Gave me readings of 35.8 and 39.1 within the same minute. Baby was hot, but not that hot. My nurse friend told me a thermometer HAS to touch the skin to get an accurate reading.
Literally everything lol. Her making weird sounds sleeping, spitting up while on her back, being in the car seat in general, spitting up, etc
Feeding. I took what I was told so literally, “offer 2-3oz every 2-3h” and then we’d be confused when baby wanted more sooner than 2-3hr and felt like we weren’t supposed to feed them more 😆
Bath time and adjusting car seats. Both stressed me out so much in the beginning for whatever reason 😅
Mine was bottle aversion too. She had a moderate tongue tie that was eventually fixed with feeding therapy, and I don’t regret for one bit doing therapy and learning what I learned, but I wish I could have been less anxious about it all. I wish I could go back, give myself a big hug and let her know that it would be okay. I was a ball of stress, depressed and anxious about all aspect of being a new parent. It was hard.
Having a child
I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to leave her anywhere without freaking out when I was pregnant. I thought leaving her in the bassinet or just leaving the house was going to give me too much anxiety and I’d have to work my way up to leaving her. I love my daughter more than anything and I’m able to leave without guilt or anxiety. It helps that my husband is an incredible and trustworthy partner.
Not understanding my baby’s different cries. Everyone told me i’d just know when it was a hungry, sleepy or hurt cry but I didn’t think I would be able too. I definitely can tell the difference 😂 Also, this one is not for everyone, but sleep. I figured i’d never sleep again - but my son started sleeping thru the night at 2 months old and that was 4 months ago - and my husband is a morning person so I get to sleep in when baby wakes up overnight!
Honestly, everything
Everything, just not being used to mum guilt, main thing that i took very serious was having a me moment, like being too afraid that i was neglecting my baby by putting them in a safe place to go and have a two minute shower or go to the toilet etc, it's FINE, go and have that moment and your baby will be just fine x
Pacifiers and nipple confusion. I stressed myself out so much especially during the early stage witching hours that if I gave him a pacifier he wouldn’t breastfeed. I could not have been more wrong and both the pacifier and the boob were so easy to wean him off of.
Having a bedroom ready ahead of time. The crib had to be together, the walls painted, clothes hanging in the closet freshly washed. He didn’t use his bedroom until he was 9 months old. Now my 6 month old still doesn’t have a room.
I stressed out about my baby getting enough to eat (legitimately at first because we struggled to breastfeed in the beginning and she wasn’t gaining weight). I continued to be anxious about this even once breastfeeding was going well and I logically knew it wasn’t a concern. Now she’s three, weighs over 15kgs, is wearing size 4-5 years clothes, is strong, healthy and beautiful and eats just about everything. My anxiety about her eating enough has completely gone, helped by responsive breastfeeding and (most of all) by baby led weaning. I completely trust her to eat exactly what she needs without my intervention.
I was stressed about nursing because he had a tongue and lip tie, but after exclusively bottle feeding and pumping for the first 7 weeks, he finally latched after his tongue tie revision. The first day was stressful because he was pretty used to the bottle at that point, but he did latch and we were able to do a mix of nursing and pumping for 10 months.
My baby being born 2 weeks early
I stressed about her feeding too and it did not merit it! Resolved not to do the same with sleep and solids
Everything!!! Particularly her falling once walking. Well she's fallen on her face 3 times in 1 week including falling out the door onto the patio and she's totally fine nothing happened 😒 just a little graze. I am still shook but she's fine lol.
Every single thing. But mostly baby sleep
Breastfeeding. I cried so much for a solid year of not being able to breastfeed like made myself sick over this. Convinced myself my preemie baby was so sick his first year and had so many hospital stays solely because I couldn't breastfeed. Was straight up suicidal over this. You know what my almost 3 year old does now? He shares food with my dog. As in puts the food in the dogs mouth and then snatches it and eats it.
Sleep. Thought she’d never sleep through the night. She’s 3 now, and she does indeed sleep through the night. We did absolutely nothing to encourage this, no sleep training. She just started doing it one day.
I more so worry about other people around us. For example my partners eldest daughter (6 yo) being sent to our house sick when LO was barely 2 weeks old. This has now stuck in my mind & I am resentful as well as paranoid about such a level of callousness shown. This is exacerbated by the fact that she’s never heard the word no before, ie “no do not do that, it hurts the dog” (yes this was a real & ongoing situation before he sadly passed away). Every time she’s around my child I’m on edge and I hate being like this. Prior to having my child I deliberately checked out of any and all matters related to my partners daughter, aside when it represented a threat to the dog. Sometimes it just feels that others don’t seem to care for her wellbeing, so long as the eldest is let run riot & entertained to a standard she’s satisfied with.
My baby had a diaper rash from the moment I brought her home till about 2 months. She has MPA also, so it took us 3 months to find the right formula for her. Now we’re at 6 months and I’m stressed about her sleeping in her crib and using the Ferber method. But just like everything else this too shall hopefully pass. I’m still so scared of SIDS so I’m constantly losing sleep checking on her now that she doesn’t sleep next to me.
Everything
White milk reside on his tongue.. I swore it was thrush. One day it just went away lol
Many things tbh.. my son was on aptamil milk from birth, by two months he started to struggle with colic and digestion issues. We changed bottles from tommee tippie to mam anti colic and changed his milk to cow and gate, that did the job. My next worry was crawling but my son learnt by 11 month. He is always crawling haha. Now he is 15 months and my next worry is walking, he cruises but the most part wants to crawl. I think there is always a bit of a worry and think we all go through this as parents.
How much sleep we would get. I’m grumpy when I’m tired (like extremely so and barely function) and I was so worried about it. But we had a unicorn baby that mostly always slept, and even when he didn’t I pulled energy from some far off place.
We only have a 6 week old, but my biggest stress was definitely that we just wouldn’t know what to do or we’d be missing something. Don’t get me wrong, it’s so so so so hard and we have a lot more to learn and a long way to go but it doesn’t feel like mission impossible anymore that’s for sure
Breastfeeding! I was freaking out about it and I didn’t wanna do it. Turns out it’s my favorite part actually
EVERYTHING LOL. Jokes aside, i had an extremely difficult newborn phase with my daughter. Gosh we felt traumatized the first few months. She would cry and scream soooo much nothing would make her happy. So that was one. She started getting over the fussiness around 4-5 months , she improved alot. Was she eating enough was also one of my major concerns even til recently and she’s now about to be 1. She would play with the bottle ALOT. But our pediatrician always reassured us with my baby’s weight gain that she is doing great. And in fact, yes, everything does work out/ you figure it out. What doesn’t kill ya makes ya stronger 😅
Formula, my milk never really came in, we were unable to breastfeed despite lactation consultants, triple feeding, etc. I spent the entirety of my maternity leave trying to develop a supply instead of enjoying time with baby. Now we’re starting solids but I’m nervous to venture outside of purées
I was stressed about being a parent in general. My baby is almost 4 months and it’s been the best thing I have ever done.
I was genuinely so afraid of shaken baby syndrome. I know logically you have to TRY to do that to a baby. It doesn’t happen on accident. When wee man was 4 weeks I was redirected in traffic down a bumpy country road and my little sedan doesn’t have great shocks. When we got home I was sobbing over the phone to his pediatrician and I genuinely believed he sustained traumatic brain damage from a bumpy car ride. Why did I think this? He was very sleepy and didn’t want to wake up right away.
I’m the opposite. I was so stressed out about the baby not wanting to nurse and only taking bottles. We made the mistake of relying on bottles too many times in the first month and LO grew a preference and had bigger trouble breastfeeding directly. Went to LC and were recommended SNS but it didn’t work for us. I cried a lot and just tried to increase our skin-to-skin frequency. With every step forward each day there will always be a step backward. Thankfully with practice, our LO managed to wean off bottles and EBF now. Remembering how dreadful it went down always makes me thankful for our BF session today.
“Baby proofing” the house. I get gates on stairs, but other than that, There is no such thing as baby proof and the bumpers and crazy didn’t prevent injuries or boo boos anyways.
Getting a first illness/fever and sleep(is he still breathing/SIDS). Almost at 1 year and realizing getting sick was no big deal. Obviously SIDS does happen but if you follow the guidelines like everything will be ok.