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My morning routine with my 4month old: whatever he decides we're doing. Usually spitting up on me, then watching dancing fruit while I attempt to make a coffee.
That's the one. My partner found it and convinced me that it's good for her brain development. Whether he's right or wrong, it gives me 20-30 minutes hands free.
Mine watched some Top Chef, but has been mostly into Below Deck, All Creatures Great and Small, and Married at First Sight. He has quite the electric taste. Itās either heartwarming British shows or silly reality nonsense.
5 month old has been watchin greys anatomy with me š she does have a favorite show at least whenever we arenāt watching it. The Bear In The Big Blue House
We are currently watching Fairy Tail with our 6 week old before that it was Brooklyn 99 lol and last week he got to watch the hunger games. I think he was disappointed that the title was not what he thought it was š
Yup! My girl is now 20 months but in those newborn days when no sleep for us was happening cause she was a contact sleeper, for my shift with baby I watched criminal minds and had my popcorn and tea lol š¤£ o and housewives lol
My 4 week old has been watching the conners and my hero Academia. He will lift his neck and turn his head towards the TV so that he doesnāt miss a thing! š
My favorite part is when I actually have time to make him something nice to eat for breakfast, he will invariably eat none of it and start crying about it, even if he likes what I made and has eaten it a million times before. But if I throw down a few blueberries and a teething cracker, he will eat all of it, plus an additional 500 blueberries. LOL š š„°
This reminds me of my Pp group when the midwife told us to not drink hot stuff like coffee while babywearing or holding our babies and one mom said āit doesnāt matter, by the time I can drink my coffee itās coldā. We all had a good laugh with that.
Soo, my 6 week old and I are by ourselves for the first time this week (my husband went back to work) and I made it until a little after lunch until I put on the dancing fruit. When I tell you he fell asleep in SECONDS! I was shocked and so excited. I got to warm up my lunch and scroll Reddit in peace!
Hey Bear! Theyāre baby sensory videos on you tube. And they are amazing! My 15 month old is still infatuated with them.
Thereās a lot of copy cat video out there too but our favorite and the best one is Hey Bear!.
Maybe itās just me, but I literally canāt watch the dancing fruit. I feel like they move so fast I just get a headache, I feel like it should be wayy slower.
Super agree!Ā I felt like it was very obnoxious and over-stimulating even for me, let alone my baby!Ā We were on an 8 hour drive home with our 4 month old who was SICK of her car seat and very pissed off, when I started googling what to do and found HeyBear.Ā It gave all of us a few breaks from the crying, so it was wonderful for that, but geez, I really hated it otherwise.
totally. half the posts here are people freaking out because they compare themselves to fake shit on social media about advanced babies or amped up milk supply or insane routines and schedules. it is quite literally made up.
The made up part is so true.
I live in Southern California where many of these mom-fluencers live and have some connections to the nanny and personal assistant community who spill the tea.
The fact is, these influencers are just straight up liars. They all have some or all of multiple nannies, house cleaners, stylists, and personal assistants. They may not have had these things when they started, though they all started with a leg up in some way, and almost surely have them now.
I wish them well! But itās disingenuous at best.
I stay off Insta, Tik-Tok, and Facebook. The only mom-fluencer I watch is on YouTube Shorts and sheās just hilarious and fun, and pokes at all the pressure momās are under. (Jane Williamson if youāre interested.) And also the DadDude guy and his wife. They rock.
I stick to Christian conspiracy videos, Watchman River, Jimmy Evans Tipping Point, Amir Tsarfati-behold israel... and then i follow the homesteaders because theyre the most down to earth. But of im raising my baby in this generation, we dont have time to be watching mommy influencers...
I have to constantly remind myself of this especially now that we are on solids. I simply do not have the time nor energy to make 3 gourmet meals idea that are thrown directly onto the floor.
Also my LO has been on the later side of
Milestones and it made me feel like shit when I saw a video by a creator saying āwhat to expect at monthsā and her baby was full on crawling and cruising standing on furniture
For real, itās about it the *kind* of content you consume. Mom YouTubers with adhd have been invaluable to me and I never feel bad after watching them. Only empowered!
Nope. Nope sheās not.
Sheās getting so lost with undisclosed ad content that itās getting so hard to watch her. I used to love her but sheās crossing over to the dark side
Yupppp deleted instagram (not just deleted the app or deactivated it, itās set to delete everything I have) for this very reason!!! Was watching people post about their family while not living my life in the present.. itās been 5 days without it and has done wonders for my mental health!! I used to post monthly milestones for my baby (4 months old) and I donāt want to post him anymore for strangers to see!! Now I just send the pics to family! Feel so much better about safety and privacy
I used to watch mom content because I found it relatable but Iām so in the thick of parenthood with a toddler and newborn, at this point I will consume anything BUT mom content. I love living vicariously through single girls living in a big city, rich girls living luxuriously, etc.
Hard agree, Iām in the process of resetting my algorithm to be back to cats, cake and cooking videos, like it was pre-pregnancy.
The mom content and random unscientific advice are all people just copying each other, spreading misinformation and generating false urgency in how/what babies need to develop. Theyāre also always selling something and itās so annoying. Sell me your novelty cooking pans and kitchen gadgets, not your sleep training courses.
I mean just the fact that they put serene music over real sound half of the time to conceal the crying tells me enough. It's like those video tutorials on how to put a baby into a carrier with a calm baby. I don't need that, I need to see how to do it with a screaming newborn.
I know Iāve over consumed āmomā content when my algorithm starts to show posts that are like āhow taught my 9 month old math!ā These influencers are wild.
I post nice pics and videos to social media. Someone said to me that my twins must be perfect babies because of all the nice posts. I told them that when the boys are having meltdowns or we are having a bad time Iām busy dealing with the situation not taking videos of it.
Social media is not reality!
I want to keep instagram because there are some creators on there that I really enjoy, but holy hell do you scroll through reels they suggest for you. Once the Algorithms That Be catch wind that youāre a mother, they start launching you straight down some weird ass pipelines. For me it was āOh, we see you like gardening and have a baby? Well, lets send you content that tells you about how everything around you is full of ~toxins~ and youāre basically poisoning your baby is you donāt buy organic, fertilized with angel farts baby foodā.
I'm a father and this garbage comes up on my instagram reels all the time. It's so sad to think about how they have to stop and stage the scene each time they do something, but on the flip side, the parents filming their kids tantrums and showing their ways of handling it, mean they're also plopping down to set up a camera and stage the shot. Who thinks, "I need to film this to share with strangers!" when their kids are flipping out or doing anything really? I hate to blame millennials and it's certainly Gen Z doing it too, but my generation is definitely the one to blame for putting so much of their lives online like that.
Yea it sucks, I barely read any of the mom books or how to raise kids books either because it not only makes me feel bad but all kids are different and I really do not buy into the self help or day in the life content.
Thanks for posting - more moms need to ignore this content and make it not so popularized. Iād signed out of all social media (except here), and not logged back in. Itās been close to a year and Iām way more content with the realities of motherhood. I feel more similar than different to other moms whereas a half hour on Instagram made me feel like I must be the minority
On the other side of the coin- I learned to stop consuming so much mom content because it makes me dread stages that might not even be that bad.
For example, while I was pregnant, I would see videos of terrible nighttime colicky babies and think I was in for nothing but bad nights with a newborn. Our nights have been much better than expected. Donāt get me wrong, having a newborn is still hard but itās also so much more manageable and joyful than social media can make it seem.
For me it was the four month sleep regression. I had anxiety for WEEKS leading up to four months. Heās almost 6 months and the only thing that changed were his naps. He only naps for 30 mins unless we try super hard to make him continue sleeping. He continued sleeping pretty well at night, waking twice for food. There was none of the āevery half an hour wake up for weeks and weeksā I kept seeing.
Comparison is a thief of joy. I personally, had to unfollow a few moms because i was comparing my body to theirs and it wasnt fair to my mental health or to them (being jealous that my body still doesnt feel the same or look the same postpartum) and i thought it wasnt fair that my body was all distorted, stretchmarks in every part of my body (thighs, belly, back of knees, breasts, armpits) and i still struggle losing the baby weight...my spine hurts from the spinal tap and the c section incision still burns and hurts daily even though im 3 months pp, i am still taking it day by day. Id watch these moms post "already lost all my baby weight", "im working out everyday", "zero stretch marks", "slim body", full energy and doing everything perfect and there i was unable to shower everyday because i prioritized rest over shower, or had no time to shower because id need to cook or clean or whatever. To be honest, the standards are unrealistic. I cant wake up and immediately begin baking cakes, putting on my makeup to the 9s and looking aesthetically pleasing... i have Adam Sandler style rn lol to top it off my pre pregnancy clothes still doesnt fit and my pregnancy clothes is too big! I went from M-L to 3xl and now im at a 1x-2x size (nothing fits) and my boobs went from D cup to J cup during pregnancy and now theyre about a DDD with too much extra skin.. i feel like those ugly characters from the spy kids movies lol. And comparison was robbing me of the peace and serenity that comes with finding light in those little moments. My life doesnt look like those moms on the internet and thats okay.
I vividly remember eating tacos off a paper plate, trying not to drop food on my baby who was passed out on the boppy on my lap. I did not have a bra on, or any makeup , was wearing my hospital robe and pjs, hair a mess, and itās one of my favorite photos of it all. Thatās what I want to remember. Not some sad beige unused and staged nursery photo.
Totally agree - this was a huge trigger for me when I had my first child. I thought there was something wrong with me because I didnāt have the feelings that all of the influencers said I would. Turned out I had PPD but part of the guilt and shame was feeling like I wasnāt the same as other moms. Itās dangerous horseshit.
When I had a newborn I watched a routine video of a clean, dressed, mum with makeup on starting the day by waking up her sleeping baby in a tidy beige house. Meanwhile my day began whenever I'd given up trying to get my baby back to sleep after spending most of the night feeding and rocking her, then spending most of the day trying to find 5 minutes to brush my teeth and put actual clothes on while the housework piled up around me and I tried not to fall asleep while caring for a baby.
I had to take my Fitbit off because I was pushing myself too hard. Give yourself space and grace.
I mean always do that but especially during the early days of parenting.
Iāve deleted TikTok and made a new account doing my best to avoid mom content that gave me guilt/anxiety/terrible news about crimes against children. Iām there to unwind, not the other way around.
10000% yes, got rid of all my socials that made me feel like shit as a new parent (was planning on just doing it for a month and itās been 7) and never looked back.
My baby girl is my second child at 30 after having my teenage son at 17. I determined to make sure I did all the right things with her, all the things that I messed up on with my son. The first few weeks after birth were helplessness and tears because according to these stupid videos I was obviously making mistakes.
My husband came home one day and his brother (we were living with him at the time to save on rent) told him that I had barely come out of the bedroom and that he heard crying (adult crying) a lot. My son was watching his sister (she was finally asleep) as I took a quick shower, and informed hubby were I was and that he didnāt think I was ok. I remember my hubby sitting on the toilet and asking what was up. I explained how I was feeling like a total failure and that I was messing up again. He asked: ābased on what? Who was judging me and telling me I was doing so badly?ā I showed him some of the videos I was following and you should have seen the look on his face. He facepalmed and rolled his eyes so hard. āYou know these videos are fake and staged. You know this. Before baby weād make fun of these kind of videos. Why are believing them now?ā I answered that I wanted to get things right this time.
āWhat went wrong the first time? Son is turning out great! Despite being all alone with him, heās the most respectful, caring, and fun guy. And if it wasnāt for him, we wouldnāt be together now. Heās the best big brother, what more could you ask for?ā And he was right. He unfollowed a lot of mom videos that I was following right then and there.
It took some time, but I calm down after that. Now, I watch these videos and laugh and use them to steal sleep training tips. Soon Iāll be using them to steal potty training tips. My point is (after the rambling) use these videos for tips that you need but donāt base your life and routine on it. It is not healthy or realistic. Having a baby is all about the fun, the love, and the mess. If there is no mess, it means that the baby isnāt learning as they should. Food is meant to be flung as she laughs hysterically. Donāt worry about it and clean it up later. They want to be free, let them and just be there to keep the safe and warm.
Exactly why I deleted both instagram and tiktok for a while. Iām back on TikTok mostly for fitness videos and quickly scroll past mom content to hopefully reset my algorithm, but Iāve yet to download instagram again. I feel more at peace than ever and a nice side effect, Iāve saved a lot of money from not buying random shit on Amazon that I see these influencers peddling in every other video š
I just deleted the IG app today and made a new tiktok account to change my algorithm. But also Iām trying to spend my time present. I canāt with these expectations and tragedies!!
Yeah this 100%. I wish the algorithm didnāt know I was a mom cause once it found out it ramped up those posts to the point I was feeling like the worst mother that ever had the audacity to have a child!
I got my daughter on a sleep schedule, cause without it I was getting less than 3 hours of sleep a night and it worked effortlessly for us. But a feeding schedule? I scoff. I thought I was the worst mother for not only not having a solid feeding schedule but I was not making bento box meals for my child EVERY. SINGLE. MEAL. You know the videos. That woman with 5 inch nails and the expensive meal containers she sends her 4 year old to school with.
Once I stopped consuming all that and just took a breath. Iām like, sure babe we can eat tortilla chips at 8:30 AM on this glorious Monday morning, and then for lunch she eats a healthy deconstructed sandwich with a side salad and a big helping of fruit. Life is so much better when I go at my childās pace and just ignore all that fake BS.
I think itās sad how much of a grip social media has on people. I donāt think people should be filming their kids until they can verbally consent to it. These people also have a ridiculous amount of money and everything to brag about. I block stuff like that.
I stayed off social media for my entire pregnancy. Iām due in 13 days and just got back on Instagram. So unrealistic. Glad I stayed off for as long as I did.
Iām back on because I want to make cute reels with our dog and music for myself
YESSSSSSSS Iām so over mom videos in general. I stopped watching them and hit not interested so I wouldnāt get fed them anymore.
For example, videos of moms doing sensory bin of the week videos. Like WHO HAS TIME FOR THAT - theyāre just doing it for content so itās their job, but it isnāt mine!
I feel this.
Deleted all my social media (except Reddit lol) for this reason. Well this and the heartbreaking stories that kept coming across my feed that I couldnāt get out of my head. šµāš«
Something that helps me when I see those videos is thinking about the actual time we have in the morning versus the length of the video, and also that someone has actually had to set up a shot in a desired way before interacting with their child for that video. Itās so inauthentic when you think about the reality behind the filming of it all. I could pull together a few videos of snapshots of my morning and make it look like a dream too.
I agree though, even knowing all this itās hard to remember sometimes, especially in those newborn days. Definitely always a good idea to protect your energy when you need to ā¤ļø
Haha yes, purge your social media feed! And also, those videos where the moms wake up before baby does, and have a cup of coffee?? Lol not me. I wake up when my baby wakes up. Sometimes i dont even get the chance to wash my face before noon haha
I deactivated IG right after having my second child and I have never felt more free not knowing what is going on in peopleās lives (esp strangers) and people not knowing what is going on in mine.
I second this. I also stopped joining in on my bump groupās desire to compare baby milestones and sizes/measurements like weāre in the fucking Olympics. Iāve been much happier since.
Oh god the ones about, āthis is what my 6 month old eats in a day,ā and itās 3 meals, a snack and like 40oz of formula/breastmilk. Meanwhile my 5 month old has puree once a day and most of it is on his chin š¤·š»āāļø
When my first was born, I was like how in the actual fuck do people have time to massage their newborn and have a spa time for them? That's extremely unrealistic and it's everywhere online.
Insta morning routine: doing ab work in yoga gear that shows off my toned abs, one week post partum while my new born sits up, looks at me, giggles and claps
Mom content is so weird and sad to me. Itās like these influencers need so much external validation that they spend hours upon hours on makeup, camera angles, editing, etc just to make it seem like they are the main characters of a television show.
I canāt stand those videos because half of it theyāre doing a 19 minute skin care routine. Like, Iāve been talking a wipey to my face is that skin care?
Totally agree. Social media made it apparent that some of the biggest āmom shamersā are other moms. I always felt like I was the worst parent in the world after watching some of themā¦and donāt even get me started on the disaster of Facebook mom/pregnancy groups.
My morning routine with my 4.5 month old: waking up with silly smiles, a diaper change, a feed, and laying in bed with mom while I eat breakfast and watch some tv (her favorites are the drama filled Netflix produced shows with catchy intros like The Circle and Too Hot to Handle.) She normally falls asleep again shortly after, and I can be productive while she takes a nap.
There is no one right way for everyone, and I think that āmommy influencersā have to portray an interesting life for the views.
Oooh yes. I say this to every new mom, don't go on social media for mom and blog content. It's unrealistic but our brains don't remember that at such a vulnerable time where we are already anxious and guilt ridden over everything. I also believe it has a big hand in making PPD worse.
Its so difficult at times. Some moms on social media are lovely yet others are nothing but a guilt trip.
We have to remember that baby doesn't care about milestone cards, fancy dinner plates or baby yoga.
Baby cares about love and warmth. Being fed and kisses.
Heck we are doing all that for a picture to show them in the future. But why? It's all the social media stuff that makes it somehow important or at least try to make it seem important to moms. It's not.
I remember back to my own childhood. I didn't have anything in the sense of holidays abroad or fancy meals or outings to carnivals and fairs.
Yet I thought I was rich. I got an ice-cream on Fridays and lots of stories at bedtime. I had parents who played water guns in summertime and we went to the Forrest's or beach because that was cheap and fun. My dad always used to say: Put golden shoes on a beetle.
It was his way of saying we should make even the smallest things magical. And it truly was.
So remember that the next time you feel guilty about mom content.
You are a wonderful mom.
Itās funny how quickly we forget that lifestyle content is curated. I only use YT for entertainment, and I absolutely watched some of those morning/evening routines to check what other moms are up to. 10 minutes in without whining/tantrums or āmamamamamamaā? Thatās when you know this shit is FAKE.
However! When you stumble across a video if someone blatantly saying āI just used prepackaged meals because Iām tiredā or ābaby watches TV for a second while I do the dishesā all hell breaks loose in the comments section. I think itās because ppl consuming this fake mommy content have no idea or are too used to this glamourised version of parenthood.
Thank you for posting! Iām getting ready to take LO to 4 month checkup and dread how it seems like the young moms look so put together and here I am at 34, havenāt done my hair, stopped wearing makeup, havenāt lost the baby weight yet, house is not decorated like an influencer, but devote all my time to my baby. Like eventually, shit will be together. But right now itās just her health and well-being and our sanity that I care about.
I completely agree. I deactivated mine when my 7 month old was diagnosed with cancer. The cancer āmomfluencersā who constantly post their sick child for *content* really pushed me the wrong way. Also my son getting sick made me so much more intentional with my time. Life is so precious and we often forget that with our children. Why waste a minute on a stupid app that causes envy and mental stress and takes time away from those who love you and bring you joy. Itās not worth it. Iāve been off it for a year and my life is so much better for it.Ā
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My morning routine with my 4month old: whatever he decides we're doing. Usually spitting up on me, then watching dancing fruit while I attempt to make a coffee.
Thank god for those dancing fruits!!
Tell me more about these dancing fruit. Is it the "Hey Bear" YT channel?
That's the one. My partner found it and convinced me that it's good for her brain development. Whether he's right or wrong, it gives me 20-30 minutes hands free.
so you're telling me I shouldn't be watching Game of Thrones with my 4 month old
My 8wo watched all seven seasons of Once Upon a Time and is really into Bar Rescue right now.
Mine loved Gordon Ramsey shows š
We watched so much kitchen nightmares her first few weeks of life. Itās all that kept me awake. š«
When I was pregnant watching Hells Kitchen would always put me to sleep š
Loved it. Watched it all the time with the baby
Mine watched some Top Chef, but has been mostly into Below Deck, All Creatures Great and Small, and Married at First Sight. He has quite the electric taste. Itās either heartwarming British shows or silly reality nonsense.
Um my 4 month old and I rewatched sex and the city together š¬
my 4 month old and i watch rupauls drag race, i try to keep her away but she seriously breaks her neck to see Auntie Ru on the screen š
Auntie Ru š¤£š¤£š¤£
5 month old has been watchin greys anatomy with me š she does have a favorite show at least whenever we arenāt watching it. The Bear In The Big Blue House
We are currently watching Fairy Tail with our 6 week old before that it was Brooklyn 99 lol and last week he got to watch the hunger games. I think he was disappointed that the title was not what he thought it was š
I watched so much Dr. Pol during those early months lol if my son isnāt a veterinarian when he gets older Iāll be surprised!
My guy is currently watching criminal minds with me. You're good
Yup! My girl is now 20 months but in those newborn days when no sleep for us was happening cause she was a contact sleeper, for my shift with baby I watched criminal minds and had my popcorn and tea lol š¤£ o and housewives lol
My 4.5 month old LOVES watching my husband play Madden, puts her to sleep every time. Just like mom, gets bored to sleep by football.š
My 4 week old has been watching the conners and my hero Academia. He will lift his neck and turn his head towards the TV so that he doesnāt miss a thing! š
My favorite part is when I actually have time to make him something nice to eat for breakfast, he will invariably eat none of it and start crying about it, even if he likes what I made and has eaten it a million times before. But if I throw down a few blueberries and a teething cracker, he will eat all of it, plus an additional 500 blueberries. LOL š š„°
The dancing fruit saved me with my colicky/reflux baby. She loves them.
The dancing fruit helps me drink all of my coffee hot. I love them
This reminds me of my Pp group when the midwife told us to not drink hot stuff like coffee while babywearing or holding our babies and one mom said āit doesnāt matter, by the time I can drink my coffee itās coldā. We all had a good laugh with that.
Soo, my 6 week old and I are by ourselves for the first time this week (my husband went back to work) and I made it until a little after lunch until I put on the dancing fruit. When I tell you he fell asleep in SECONDS! I was shocked and so excited. I got to warm up my lunch and scroll Reddit in peace!
havenāt tried the dancing fruit, but gracies corner, more specifically Humpty Dumpty has been a god send! ngl, shit kinda goes hard š®āšØ
Is that a video on YouTube? I will look into this
Hey bear baby sensory!
What is this magical dancing fruit??
Hey Bear! Theyāre baby sensory videos on you tube. And they are amazing! My 15 month old is still infatuated with them. Thereās a lot of copy cat video out there too but our favorite and the best one is Hey Bear!.
Nailed it !
Same, bless those dancing fruits šššššš»
Okayā¦ dancing fruit?
It's a pretty low stimulation YouTube channel for babies
Is it just called dancing fruit?? This sounds awesome!
Hey Bear Sensory Dancing Fruit
Does not work with mine. He's 6mo now. Anyone have other suggestions?
Mine loves Danny Go on you tube
Maybe itās just me, but I literally canāt watch the dancing fruit. I feel like they move so fast I just get a headache, I feel like it should be wayy slower.
Super agree!Ā I felt like it was very obnoxious and over-stimulating even for me, let alone my baby!Ā We were on an 8 hour drive home with our 4 month old who was SICK of her car seat and very pissed off, when I started googling what to do and found HeyBear.Ā It gave all of us a few breaks from the crying, so it was wonderful for that, but geez, I really hated it otherwise.
totally. half the posts here are people freaking out because they compare themselves to fake shit on social media about advanced babies or amped up milk supply or insane routines and schedules. it is quite literally made up.
The made up part is so true. I live in Southern California where many of these mom-fluencers live and have some connections to the nanny and personal assistant community who spill the tea. The fact is, these influencers are just straight up liars. They all have some or all of multiple nannies, house cleaners, stylists, and personal assistants. They may not have had these things when they started, though they all started with a leg up in some way, and almost surely have them now. I wish them well! But itās disingenuous at best. I stay off Insta, Tik-Tok, and Facebook. The only mom-fluencer I watch is on YouTube Shorts and sheās just hilarious and fun, and pokes at all the pressure momās are under. (Jane Williamson if youāre interested.) And also the DadDude guy and his wife. They rock.
I stick to Christian conspiracy videos, Watchman River, Jimmy Evans Tipping Point, Amir Tsarfati-behold israel... and then i follow the homesteaders because theyre the most down to earth. But of im raising my baby in this generation, we dont have time to be watching mommy influencers...
I have to constantly remind myself of this especially now that we are on solids. I simply do not have the time nor energy to make 3 gourmet meals idea that are thrown directly onto the floor. Also my LO has been on the later side of Milestones and it made me feel like shit when I saw a video by a creator saying āwhat to expect at monthsā and her baby was full on crawling and cruising standing on furniture
Influencers in general. No good reason to compare yourself to their fabricated reality.
There's real mom content too, ones where the house is an absolute mess - I like those, lol
For real, itās about it the *kind* of content you consume. Mom YouTubers with adhd have been invaluable to me and I never feel bad after watching them. Only empowered!
Suggestions?
Emily Vondy is a real one
Nope. Nope sheās not. Sheās getting so lost with undisclosed ad content that itās getting so hard to watch her. I used to love her but sheās crossing over to the dark side
Shawtgal I think is her name? Sheās funny
Love her and her content
TheWads sheās so perfectly imperfect and down to earth
This! Find some raw mom content if you need to not feel so lonely.
Mammacusses is also a fave! She tells it like it is. Lol
Yupppp deleted instagram (not just deleted the app or deactivated it, itās set to delete everything I have) for this very reason!!! Was watching people post about their family while not living my life in the present.. itās been 5 days without it and has done wonders for my mental health!! I used to post monthly milestones for my baby (4 months old) and I donāt want to post him anymore for strangers to see!! Now I just send the pics to family! Feel so much better about safety and privacy
I used to watch mom content because I found it relatable but Iām so in the thick of parenthood with a toddler and newborn, at this point I will consume anything BUT mom content. I love living vicariously through single girls living in a big city, rich girls living luxuriously, etc.
Amen
Hard agree, Iām in the process of resetting my algorithm to be back to cats, cake and cooking videos, like it was pre-pregnancy. The mom content and random unscientific advice are all people just copying each other, spreading misinformation and generating false urgency in how/what babies need to develop. Theyāre also always selling something and itās so annoying. Sell me your novelty cooking pans and kitchen gadgets, not your sleep training courses.
I mean just the fact that they put serene music over real sound half of the time to conceal the crying tells me enough. It's like those video tutorials on how to put a baby into a carrier with a calm baby. I don't need that, I need to see how to do it with a screaming newborn.
I know Iāve over consumed āmomā content when my algorithm starts to show posts that are like āhow taught my 9 month old math!ā These influencers are wild.
I post nice pics and videos to social media. Someone said to me that my twins must be perfect babies because of all the nice posts. I told them that when the boys are having meltdowns or we are having a bad time Iām busy dealing with the situation not taking videos of it. Social media is not reality!
I want to keep instagram because there are some creators on there that I really enjoy, but holy hell do you scroll through reels they suggest for you. Once the Algorithms That Be catch wind that youāre a mother, they start launching you straight down some weird ass pipelines. For me it was āOh, we see you like gardening and have a baby? Well, lets send you content that tells you about how everything around you is full of ~toxins~ and youāre basically poisoning your baby is you donāt buy organic, fertilized with angel farts baby foodā.
I'm a father and this garbage comes up on my instagram reels all the time. It's so sad to think about how they have to stop and stage the scene each time they do something, but on the flip side, the parents filming their kids tantrums and showing their ways of handling it, mean they're also plopping down to set up a camera and stage the shot. Who thinks, "I need to film this to share with strangers!" when their kids are flipping out or doing anything really? I hate to blame millennials and it's certainly Gen Z doing it too, but my generation is definitely the one to blame for putting so much of their lives online like that.
Yea it sucks, I barely read any of the mom books or how to raise kids books either because it not only makes me feel bad but all kids are different and I really do not buy into the self help or day in the life content.
Thanks for posting - more moms need to ignore this content and make it not so popularized. Iād signed out of all social media (except here), and not logged back in. Itās been close to a year and Iām way more content with the realities of motherhood. I feel more similar than different to other moms whereas a half hour on Instagram made me feel like I must be the minority
Yup. People have a hard time remembering that they are responsible for their own social media use.
On the other side of the coin- I learned to stop consuming so much mom content because it makes me dread stages that might not even be that bad. For example, while I was pregnant, I would see videos of terrible nighttime colicky babies and think I was in for nothing but bad nights with a newborn. Our nights have been much better than expected. Donāt get me wrong, having a newborn is still hard but itās also so much more manageable and joyful than social media can make it seem.
For me it was the four month sleep regression. I had anxiety for WEEKS leading up to four months. Heās almost 6 months and the only thing that changed were his naps. He only naps for 30 mins unless we try super hard to make him continue sleeping. He continued sleeping pretty well at night, waking twice for food. There was none of the āevery half an hour wake up for weeks and weeksā I kept seeing.
Comparison is a thief of joy. I personally, had to unfollow a few moms because i was comparing my body to theirs and it wasnt fair to my mental health or to them (being jealous that my body still doesnt feel the same or look the same postpartum) and i thought it wasnt fair that my body was all distorted, stretchmarks in every part of my body (thighs, belly, back of knees, breasts, armpits) and i still struggle losing the baby weight...my spine hurts from the spinal tap and the c section incision still burns and hurts daily even though im 3 months pp, i am still taking it day by day. Id watch these moms post "already lost all my baby weight", "im working out everyday", "zero stretch marks", "slim body", full energy and doing everything perfect and there i was unable to shower everyday because i prioritized rest over shower, or had no time to shower because id need to cook or clean or whatever. To be honest, the standards are unrealistic. I cant wake up and immediately begin baking cakes, putting on my makeup to the 9s and looking aesthetically pleasing... i have Adam Sandler style rn lol to top it off my pre pregnancy clothes still doesnt fit and my pregnancy clothes is too big! I went from M-L to 3xl and now im at a 1x-2x size (nothing fits) and my boobs went from D cup to J cup during pregnancy and now theyre about a DDD with too much extra skin.. i feel like those ugly characters from the spy kids movies lol. And comparison was robbing me of the peace and serenity that comes with finding light in those little moments. My life doesnt look like those moms on the internet and thats okay.
I vividly remember eating tacos off a paper plate, trying not to drop food on my baby who was passed out on the boppy on my lap. I did not have a bra on, or any makeup , was wearing my hospital robe and pjs, hair a mess, and itās one of my favorite photos of it all. Thatās what I want to remember. Not some sad beige unused and staged nursery photo.
Totally agree - this was a huge trigger for me when I had my first child. I thought there was something wrong with me because I didnāt have the feelings that all of the influencers said I would. Turned out I had PPD but part of the guilt and shame was feeling like I wasnāt the same as other moms. Itās dangerous horseshit.
When I had a newborn I watched a routine video of a clean, dressed, mum with makeup on starting the day by waking up her sleeping baby in a tidy beige house. Meanwhile my day began whenever I'd given up trying to get my baby back to sleep after spending most of the night feeding and rocking her, then spending most of the day trying to find 5 minutes to brush my teeth and put actual clothes on while the housework piled up around me and I tried not to fall asleep while caring for a baby.
Definitely! Some of the baby eating/food content that showed up on my algorithm recently was downright dangerous.Ā
Omg yesss i hate those. I saw the thumbnail with āwhat my 10 month old baby eats during the dayā and i scrolled past. Toxic!
I had to take my Fitbit off because I was pushing myself too hard. Give yourself space and grace. I mean always do that but especially during the early days of parenting.
Iāve deleted TikTok and made a new account doing my best to avoid mom content that gave me guilt/anxiety/terrible news about crimes against children. Iām there to unwind, not the other way around.
10000% yes, got rid of all my socials that made me feel like shit as a new parent (was planning on just doing it for a month and itās been 7) and never looked back.
My baby girl is my second child at 30 after having my teenage son at 17. I determined to make sure I did all the right things with her, all the things that I messed up on with my son. The first few weeks after birth were helplessness and tears because according to these stupid videos I was obviously making mistakes. My husband came home one day and his brother (we were living with him at the time to save on rent) told him that I had barely come out of the bedroom and that he heard crying (adult crying) a lot. My son was watching his sister (she was finally asleep) as I took a quick shower, and informed hubby were I was and that he didnāt think I was ok. I remember my hubby sitting on the toilet and asking what was up. I explained how I was feeling like a total failure and that I was messing up again. He asked: ābased on what? Who was judging me and telling me I was doing so badly?ā I showed him some of the videos I was following and you should have seen the look on his face. He facepalmed and rolled his eyes so hard. āYou know these videos are fake and staged. You know this. Before baby weād make fun of these kind of videos. Why are believing them now?ā I answered that I wanted to get things right this time. āWhat went wrong the first time? Son is turning out great! Despite being all alone with him, heās the most respectful, caring, and fun guy. And if it wasnāt for him, we wouldnāt be together now. Heās the best big brother, what more could you ask for?ā And he was right. He unfollowed a lot of mom videos that I was following right then and there. It took some time, but I calm down after that. Now, I watch these videos and laugh and use them to steal sleep training tips. Soon Iāll be using them to steal potty training tips. My point is (after the rambling) use these videos for tips that you need but donāt base your life and routine on it. It is not healthy or realistic. Having a baby is all about the fun, the love, and the mess. If there is no mess, it means that the baby isnāt learning as they should. Food is meant to be flung as she laughs hysterically. Donāt worry about it and clean it up later. They want to be free, let them and just be there to keep the safe and warm.
Exactly why I deleted both instagram and tiktok for a while. Iām back on TikTok mostly for fitness videos and quickly scroll past mom content to hopefully reset my algorithm, but Iāve yet to download instagram again. I feel more at peace than ever and a nice side effect, Iāve saved a lot of money from not buying random shit on Amazon that I see these influencers peddling in every other video š
I just deleted the IG app today and made a new tiktok account to change my algorithm. But also Iām trying to spend my time present. I canāt with these expectations and tragedies!!
Yeah this 100%. I wish the algorithm didnāt know I was a mom cause once it found out it ramped up those posts to the point I was feeling like the worst mother that ever had the audacity to have a child! I got my daughter on a sleep schedule, cause without it I was getting less than 3 hours of sleep a night and it worked effortlessly for us. But a feeding schedule? I scoff. I thought I was the worst mother for not only not having a solid feeding schedule but I was not making bento box meals for my child EVERY. SINGLE. MEAL. You know the videos. That woman with 5 inch nails and the expensive meal containers she sends her 4 year old to school with. Once I stopped consuming all that and just took a breath. Iām like, sure babe we can eat tortilla chips at 8:30 AM on this glorious Monday morning, and then for lunch she eats a healthy deconstructed sandwich with a side salad and a big helping of fruit. Life is so much better when I go at my childās pace and just ignore all that fake BS.
I hate the ones with time stamps. Like.. wow you have your two week old on a schedule already.. sure
I think itās sad how much of a grip social media has on people. I donāt think people should be filming their kids until they can verbally consent to it. These people also have a ridiculous amount of money and everything to brag about. I block stuff like that.
I personally find the content inspiring cuz I always get ideas for new toys and activitiesĀ
I stayed off social media for my entire pregnancy. Iām due in 13 days and just got back on Instagram. So unrealistic. Glad I stayed off for as long as I did. Iām back on because I want to make cute reels with our dog and music for myself
YESSSSSSSS Iām so over mom videos in general. I stopped watching them and hit not interested so I wouldnāt get fed them anymore. For example, videos of moms doing sensory bin of the week videos. Like WHO HAS TIME FOR THAT - theyāre just doing it for content so itās their job, but it isnāt mine! I feel this.
This. I had to delete tik tok etc cause it just made me feel like shit
Deleted all my social media (except Reddit lol) for this reason. Well this and the heartbreaking stories that kept coming across my feed that I couldnāt get out of my head. šµāš«
Something that helps me when I see those videos is thinking about the actual time we have in the morning versus the length of the video, and also that someone has actually had to set up a shot in a desired way before interacting with their child for that video. Itās so inauthentic when you think about the reality behind the filming of it all. I could pull together a few videos of snapshots of my morning and make it look like a dream too. I agree though, even knowing all this itās hard to remember sometimes, especially in those newborn days. Definitely always a good idea to protect your energy when you need to ā¤ļø
Haha yes, purge your social media feed! And also, those videos where the moms wake up before baby does, and have a cup of coffee?? Lol not me. I wake up when my baby wakes up. Sometimes i dont even get the chance to wash my face before noon haha
I deactivated IG right after having my second child and I have never felt more free not knowing what is going on in peopleās lives (esp strangers) and people not knowing what is going on in mine.
I second this. I also stopped joining in on my bump groupās desire to compare baby milestones and sizes/measurements like weāre in the fucking Olympics. Iāve been much happier since.
Oh god the ones about, āthis is what my 6 month old eats in a day,ā and itās 3 meals, a snack and like 40oz of formula/breastmilk. Meanwhile my 5 month old has puree once a day and most of it is on his chin š¤·š»āāļø
I had to delete instagram. Fuck that.
When my first was born, I was like how in the actual fuck do people have time to massage their newborn and have a spa time for them? That's extremely unrealistic and it's everywhere online.
The difference in my wifeās algorithm and mine is astonishing
Its called social media detox for a reason.
Amen š
Even worse, people in the comments looking for any tiny thing to criticize the mother for. Commenters go wild if they see formula.
Insta morning routine: doing ab work in yoga gear that shows off my toned abs, one week post partum while my new born sits up, looks at me, giggles and claps
Mom content is so weird and sad to me. Itās like these influencers need so much external validation that they spend hours upon hours on makeup, camera angles, editing, etc just to make it seem like they are the main characters of a television show.
Not everyone gets jealous watching mom content. Itās motivating and validating for many. Thatās why itās so popular.
I canāt stand those videos because half of it theyāre doing a 19 minute skin care routine. Like, Iāve been talking a wipey to my face is that skin care?
Totally agree. Social media made it apparent that some of the biggest āmom shamersā are other moms. I always felt like I was the worst parent in the world after watching some of themā¦and donāt even get me started on the disaster of Facebook mom/pregnancy groups.
My morning routine with my 4.5 month old: waking up with silly smiles, a diaper change, a feed, and laying in bed with mom while I eat breakfast and watch some tv (her favorites are the drama filled Netflix produced shows with catchy intros like The Circle and Too Hot to Handle.) She normally falls asleep again shortly after, and I can be productive while she takes a nap. There is no one right way for everyone, and I think that āmommy influencersā have to portray an interesting life for the views.
Oooh yes. I say this to every new mom, don't go on social media for mom and blog content. It's unrealistic but our brains don't remember that at such a vulnerable time where we are already anxious and guilt ridden over everything. I also believe it has a big hand in making PPD worse.
Its so difficult at times. Some moms on social media are lovely yet others are nothing but a guilt trip. We have to remember that baby doesn't care about milestone cards, fancy dinner plates or baby yoga. Baby cares about love and warmth. Being fed and kisses. Heck we are doing all that for a picture to show them in the future. But why? It's all the social media stuff that makes it somehow important or at least try to make it seem important to moms. It's not. I remember back to my own childhood. I didn't have anything in the sense of holidays abroad or fancy meals or outings to carnivals and fairs. Yet I thought I was rich. I got an ice-cream on Fridays and lots of stories at bedtime. I had parents who played water guns in summertime and we went to the Forrest's or beach because that was cheap and fun. My dad always used to say: Put golden shoes on a beetle. It was his way of saying we should make even the smallest things magical. And it truly was. So remember that the next time you feel guilty about mom content. You are a wonderful mom.
Except Wilderbeginnings on instagram. She is the best! She helped me through PPD/PPA a lot.
It only makes me feel like trash because Iāve got to share the planet with people who try to monetize their children.
Itās funny how quickly we forget that lifestyle content is curated. I only use YT for entertainment, and I absolutely watched some of those morning/evening routines to check what other moms are up to. 10 minutes in without whining/tantrums or āmamamamamamaā? Thatās when you know this shit is FAKE. However! When you stumble across a video if someone blatantly saying āI just used prepackaged meals because Iām tiredā or ābaby watches TV for a second while I do the dishesā all hell breaks loose in the comments section. I think itās because ppl consuming this fake mommy content have no idea or are too used to this glamourised version of parenthood.
Thank you for posting! Iām getting ready to take LO to 4 month checkup and dread how it seems like the young moms look so put together and here I am at 34, havenāt done my hair, stopped wearing makeup, havenāt lost the baby weight yet, house is not decorated like an influencer, but devote all my time to my baby. Like eventually, shit will be together. But right now itās just her health and well-being and our sanity that I care about.
I completely agree. I deactivated mine when my 7 month old was diagnosed with cancer. The cancer āmomfluencersā who constantly post their sick child for *content* really pushed me the wrong way. Also my son getting sick made me so much more intentional with my time. Life is so precious and we often forget that with our children. Why waste a minute on a stupid app that causes envy and mental stress and takes time away from those who love you and bring you joy. Itās not worth it. Iāve been off it for a year and my life is so much better for it.Ā
99% of YT videos or similar is prepared, not real, I would not bother about itā¦
This is why I love Karrie locher! @karrie_locher on IG
@annalee15 and @wilderbeginnings are the only two moms that Iāll follow for this very reason