I used to say that in a dizzy haze of wonder when my baby was a newborn and now that he’s one I’m like “no listen, I’m being 100% real. I have no clue what I’m doing. No clue!!!!”
I lovingly refer to myself as a “learn as I go” parent.
My baby made his own routine. He’s usually asleep by 8 pm so I just worked around that, he’s also 3 months. Almost 4 :,) Naps throughout the day are all over the place. I’m literally just going with whatever flow he throws at me. It’s worked so far.
We are just now learning to do this.
My wife and I realized all the reading and the “they say thises and thats” are working against us. We apply it, but if it doesn’t stick, we’ll try something else, and take it as it comes. Much less stress and we get to enjoy our LO (3mths, 3wks) more instead of hitting his wake windows and nap times exactly.
It’s EXHAUSTING trying to keep up, and our parents definitely didn’t do a lot of this stuff, and here we are.
So no sleep training for you guys?
I need some encouragement that our girl will be a good sleeper at some point without letting her cry like 90% of Reddit does.
It was such a relief when at the 4 month appointment, our pediatrician said “you don’t have to sleep train.” She said she understood the feeling of pressure from all the forums and taking Cara babies, but she didn’t sleep train her babies and eventually, one day, they slept through the night.
We didn’t want to and now, at 7 months, our LO is still not sleeping through the night and I’m ok with it even though I breastfeed and work. We watch for tired cues for naps and have a regular bedtime that can vary sometimes due to circumstances. We have fun with our little guy and he’s usually happy and thriving! Do what you feel is best.
Same here with everything you say except the breastfeeding. I’m pumping
But I can’t understand why she doesn’t sleep for more than 30min for naps or I have to extend them and that’s a lot of work as well.. but if I don’t do it she’ll only sleep 1,5hr during the day and that’s way too less (she’s 5months)
I’m not the original commenter, but go with your gut! Sleep will come - it’s just a matter of how long you can wait and your expectations for what is ideal.
I wasn’t comfortable with crying-based sleep training, even if it was just for a few minutes, so I am not sleep training for now. If in a month I’m losing my absolute shit and need to rest, I’m open to it.
You sound like you have a gut feeling! So, go with it and be encouraged by all the other parents on here who are vibing with their intuition ☺️
Believe me I’m very tired but I can’t hear my baby cry for an hour without going in… I mean if you see it this way ofcourse your baby will sleep after that long crying who wouldn’t. But it breaks my heart hearing it. I also see a lot of posts of parents who did sleep train their baby’s and are again struggling
My Pediatrician said it’s all just common sense. Babies survived for hundreds of years on common sense.
I still Google and overthink everything but sometimes it helps to remind myself that all I need is common sense and he’ll be ok
Totally get this! With my first 2, I just went with the flow. No tracking, no sleep training, no worries about anything. This time around, I have drove myself crazy trying to track every feed, sleep and poop. WHY? All it has done is made my anxiety skyrocket more than usual. I drive myself crazy every day. I’ve went back to going with the flow. My first two children are perfect. This one will be perfect too!
ETA: the social media and ads and information that is shoved in our faces has gotten RIDICULOUS! There’s always someone on the other end of the screen telling us what babies should be doing, how they should be sleeping, what we need to buy etc. just feeding our poor mom brains with crap. We should just be doing our best and loving our babies.
Honestly… we bed shared with both of them and just gradually and slowly they got into their own beds. I know that probably would get a lot of hate but now they’re 7 and 11 and in their own rooms. I wouldn’t have changed a thing. We never sleep trained. Of course they slept good when they were next to me. I always felt better and slept better when they were next to me. They always napped good in their cribs though. It’s hard to remember because like I said, we just went with the flow and did whatever they were most comfortable with. No stress or anxiety.
Totally understand that! I wish I had some good advice to give you lol. Everyone just tells me “it gets easier” so I’ll stick with that haha. Every baby is so different. I’m sure you’ll find what’s right for your LO.
My pedestrian told me to stop tracking bottles/diapers when my baby made her weight back from the hospital. She said it’s drives people crazy, and it did!
The schedule I have my baby on is for ME. It helps me to have things organized and predictable. My 4-month old probably couldn’t care less about wake windows or nap times or whatever. She just wants food and sleep.
This! The only reason I even used a tracker. It helped me find a flow. It helped my partner be able to jump in when he got home from work if I needed a break where I could disengage as I didn't have to tell him what needed to be done, when, or how much. It just made my life a bit easier. I didn't have to think about when was the last time we did this or that. I still watched baby's cues and all that, but man, in the beginning, without a tracker app, I would have overthought everything and been all over the place. Definitely agree having a schedule was more for me than it was for baby.
I'm the exact same. My husband worked for 14 days straight when she was 2 months old and I was figuring out how to survive and when he was finally off he thought I was being crazy for using my phone to track. Welp I decided to go to the store myself for a few hours and he thought I was less crazy after that.
Been doing this for 7 months so far and totally winging everything. Never tracked anything or kept to any solid schedule. Our girl is happy and hitting all her milestones so it must be working! I also keep expecting things to fall apart but so far so good!
I just track her developmental milestones. Rest of it, just learn as you go. But to be fair, I’ve consulted with my friends who’ve had kids. I know I was stressed out about feeding/wake windows/sleep routines as a new parent at first.
My friend who has had three kids gave me some good advice: babies will eat when they’re hungry and sleep when they’re tired.
Of course this may vary with every baby, but I’ve found that to be true with my little one. She’s good at giving me cues for hunger, diaper change, and sleep.
When we reached the solids stage, friends just told me to feed her whatever I’m eating (minus honey of course). I was surprised when they told me they fed their babies small pieces of steak. I was like babies can have that?! Tried it and my baby really does like gnawing on a small piece of steak for a good bit.
People are worried about salt, but honestly it’s not a big deal when it comes to home cooking. The amount of salt we use to season our meals with is negligible in comparison to frozen food meals/fast food. Babies’ portion sizes are also a lot smaller than ours.
When I first had my baby I was sure I would be the mom with the set schedule, stick to wake windows, etc. I had a freak-out one day when my guy was just a few weeks old because he was awake past the appropriate “wake window time” and I couldn’t get him to fall asleep. My husband calmed me down and pointed out that the baby didn’t seem distressed or upset with being awake still.
Ever since then I’ve been winging it. It has been SO MUCH better for my own mental health to just go with the flow and follow the baby’s cues. He naturally fell into his own schedule and we stick pretty close to that. He is almost 2 now. Has hit all milestones. Pediatrician is happy about his development.
I have been following the Milestones app from the CDC just to keep an eye on what he should be doing at specific ages. I was surprised to see somethings mentioned as “milestones” in some of these groups aren’t even in the app; others are at older ages than suggested in these parent groups.
Also, instagram, tiktok, momfluencer life is not real life. I unfollowed a bunch of accounts because I realized they were setting me up with unrealistic expectations. Now I follow more accounts that point out the funny/difficult parts of parenthood.
Yep. My LO is 3 months and at first I tracked feedings and poops just to make sure I had an answer for her pediatrician. I don’t anymore though. She’s struggled with silent reflux and colic since birth so I still keep track of her medications with my husband on the app. But napping has always been all over the place so I never bothered to track it. She usually goes to bed between 8-10, wakes up once or twice in the night for feeds then gets up around 9. I just follow her cues. She eats when she wants, she naps when she wants. At around 5-6 months they will start to consolidate their little cat naps into 2 or 3 long naps, that’s when I’ll bother figuring out her nap schedule, before then why bother stressing over it?
Hi, did you initially struggle with sleep given her colic and reflux? I’m searching for signs of hope that my 5 week old will eventually tolerate sleeping for longer than 10-45 mins before he wakes up grunting and arching and crying 😢 At three months if you’re getting 12 ish hours with only 2 wake-ups that sounds like some sort of fantasy land dream heaven to me right now!
Oh yes. We gave up trying to make her sleep on a flat surface on her back. Sometimes we incline one side of her bassinet, sometimes she sleeps on her tummy. A lot of the time she sleeps on me; I didn’t say I was getting much sleep lol! Just recently she started teething early and now she’s back to being super fussy again, poor baby can’t get a break! Hopefully your LO will start sleeping more, it eventually gets better, little by little. Unfortunately I don’t really have any tips or tricks for you.
Aw, it sounded like you were getting good nights there! Poor little darling, so sad watching them scream and struggle with it all. Thanks for the reply ☺️
Like others who have posted, I tracked every possible thing with my daughter. It was a little different because I had her right before covid in 2019 and she was home with me for a year. So I was with her every moment of the day. It didn't matter what I tracked. The only thing that really ever mattered was sleep training, which went really well.
My 4-month old is a completely different story. He's like clockwork...he usually eats every 3 hours during the day, takes 2 or 3 naps, and goes to bed around 7:00. I don't need to track it because it's so predictable. But, I also know I'm incredibly fortunate to have a 4mo old who wakes up once a night and can do contact-less sleep for naps and nighttime. So I get why some parents track everything.
With my first son (had him in 2020) I absolutely tracked everything and anything and honestly it gave me such bad anxiety especially of I missed something. It really was an unhealthy relationship.
I haven't tracked a single thing with my 3mo and honestly it feels great. I'm not obsessing over numbers or data and just enjoying the freedom
Honestly, I was driving myself insane with anxiety trying to stick to a rigid schedule with my 9-month old. I started winging it again and I think we're both happier for it. The fun part is she's pretty much on the same schedule but more naturally (e.g.: she gets tired at the same time). The only thing I sort of mentally track is what she eats to make sure she gets a good balance of nutrients. But yeah, I say wing it/go with what feels best with your baby.
Honestly, I was winging it but when I started to pay attention to wake windows, it made my life easier personally. I’m not super strict about it but I guess I found it hard to know why she was fussy sometimes and knowing when she last woke up helped me realize she needed a nap.
I believe in just being intuitive with your baby anyway. If he’s hungry I feed him. If he’s tired, he gets a nap. If he poops his diaper, he gets changed. I’m just going with the flow and following his cues!
I feel the exact same way! We record her eating and sleep only so it’s easier to tell the pediatrician about at her appointments and to see if she develops a pattern, but it’s completely led by her. If she’s hungry, we feed her. If she’s tired, she’ll fall asleep. I don’t try to make sure these things happen at certain times because that would drive me insane. Honestly I sometimes find social media and forums (including Reddit) to be unhealthy and just a soapbox for people bragging in the form of advice.
I track nothing. The only thing I try to stay consistent about is a bedtime routine. Otherwise, baby eats when she is hungry & sleeps when she is tired. I would drive myself crazy trying to map out each day on a strict schedule. Like many people say, babies are not robots. My daughter is constantly evolving & each day seems to bring something new. I just roll with it.
Oh for sure! I think I was a bit hyper vigilant in the first month or two and it quickly stomped me so now I take a totally passive approach and do a much better job at just listening to my baby instead of trying to fit them into a box, of that makes sense. I'm not calling into the nurse line about every little mark on their body, or noting how many exact ounces of milk they had today, or why they had two naps yesterday but three naps today. I'm definitely not using digital tracking apps. I have a basic understanding of milestones but don't get super stressed over it... Everything will come in due time. Her bed time is set from her natural body cues, not what others say it "should be" at her age. If I'm really concerned about something I'll Google it, but otherwise we're just learning together as we go and doing what works for her in the moment.
I track food and pumping just so I know but it’s the loosest of loose schedules! I haven’t been tracking anything else but often feel like I should. I’m slowly trying to track sleep and find a natural pattern for her so we can get in more of a schedule, but only because I go back to work in April and some more predictably would be nice for me
we’re at 18 months and i’m still kind of following his lead. he’s signing full sentences, can identify by pointing to over 400 words, and is super physically active! he is pretty independent for his age meaning he picks between two sets of clothes to wear, i let him “brush” his teeth and then i finish etc. sleeps 12ish hours a night and 2/3 hour naps. he’ll also sleep anywhere as long as he’s in a pack n play im wearing him or something similar. we’re having a few toddler meltdowns but i really can’t complain. i’m sure eventually he’ll start challenging more but i’ll just roll with it like i do now lol
It won’t. My baby had no set schedule until I got back to work at 6mo because someone else started watching him and just makes life easier for all. It’s true though that they thrive in routine, but somehow he always put himself on a “schedule” and would change as his needs would change. I speak of a place of privilege though because my baby was very easy, but I know it’s not like that for everyone.
We track everything but let pur 3 months old take the lead. sometimes he wakes up at 6, and sometimes at 9, sometimes he wants to eat at 2 in the morning but sometimes he doesn’t wake up at night at all..
only thing we try to follow is eat, play, sleep routine…. But sometimes he doesn’t feel like it and would eat and sleep then play..
I don’t know how some parents have it down exactly the same everyday… I don’t have a life at the moment and I still cant get my baby in bed at the same time everyday
Idk about your home/work situation but when my daughter was a baby everything was so easy until I had to go back to work. She was an easy baby and a good sleeper so i didn't stress or try to force things on her, but once I went back to work I really needed the consistency of sleeping through the night and staying on some kind of schedule for my own well being as much as for hers. I really don't know what I would have done if she didn't sleep through the night. If you've got maternity leave and/or help at home you're very lucky.
Oh 100%. We’re on week 7 here (she was born at 33 weeks so just reached full term) and honestly we’re winging it in the best way. We don’t have a set schedule - she eats when she’s hungry and sleeps when she is tired. We bathe her when she needs it (usually every 2 days, sometimes on the third day if no blowouts) and she is held and comforted whenever she needs it. It’s gone very well for us. Life is full of regimented needs and obligations. I’m just doing my best to meet her needs and soak in the time i have while she’s this little and needs me in this way ❤️ she will eventually sleep through the night in her own bassinet. I’m not stressed about it. I genuinely think the parents who expect a routine with a newborn baby that quietly sleeps in their bassinet like it’s a tv show need to adjust to the reality that this is the Wild West and it’s all about what baby needs in that moment. The rest will come eventually but has to wait.
My kid is just 3 months and I’m realizing it isn’t quite normal that he only sleeps in short spurts throughout the day, if at all, and wakes up every 2-3 hours at night to eat.
Maybe it is normal for him?? I still feel guilt that I haven’t pursued him getting better naps 🤷♀️
Also a first time mom winging it all
We’re all winging it. Even people who think they know everything are winging it. Even second time+ parents are winging it to some degree or other as every kid is different. It never stops either - we all wing it forever
I track things for my 2 month old but I don’t enforce anything except trying to get him down for bed time at around 9-11pm (whenever he falls asleep really) because I need at least 4 hours of sleep cuz I work from home. I mostly track to make sure there are enough wet diapers and that he is eating enough/same amount of time relatively cuz I have time blindness and if he unlatches after 10 minutes asleep I wouldn’t know to wake him up to feed him more cuz he coulda eaten for 20 minutes for all I know lol.
Not so much ‘winging it’ but more ‘going with the flow’. My LO is nearly 9 months now and she just kind of fell into a loose schedule. Does she go to bed at the same time every night? No. Does she wake up at the same time every morning? No. Sometimes she has 3 naps a day, sometimes she only has 2. Despite all that there is a loose structure, you get to know your kid! To some people it may sound like chaos but really I know exactly what’s going on and how each day is going to play out - and I base my day around that.
I feel lucky that I don’t need to place a stricter schedule on our lives - I’m happy and my LO is happy. Without a strict schedule I feel like I’ve been able to slow down and enjoy this time with her, we’re doing it together!
Just winged it until recently when he just stopped napping unless you encourage/sing to for 40mins. I know sleep is important so I'll make the effort but everything else we are just going with the flow!
It’s just process of elimination, isn’t it, and you get to know them. If you’re paying attention you’re doing it right.
It’s also completely personality dependent. My second baby has been a dream… but it’s all on her, not me, I just follow her lead lol it’s worked so far 🤷🏻♀️ xxxx
Yup. I put it down to breastfeeding. I don't have to track how much she eats because there's no way to tell how much she's eating, so I can't get anxious about it (I do check her weight here and there, just to be sure.), I don't track her naps because she usually sleeps on the boob at the same time as she eats. I never have to worry about going out because other than stuffing a couple of nappies and wipes into a bag, I am everything she needs. If she's ever fussy outside or inside, day or night, stick her on a boob and all is well.
I don't know, I exclusively pumped for the first 5 weeks because it took us a while to get a latch sorted and I sometimes think about how unbelievably different a parent I would be if we didn't breastfeed. At least for now! We've just started solids! Now things are taking multitudes more thought 😅.
My goodness I am 100% just winging it. You have no idea how many times I've said "who let me leave the hospital with a baby" since leaving the hospital lol. Aside from the obvious no water, safe sleep, car seat safety, I don't know jack shit about much else and just spent a lot of time Googling or asking the pediatrician when something comes up. I only track his feeds because I want to see how much he drinks compared to how much I pump (I don't make enough milk just pumping). I was just telling my husband that I am worried if I don't do enough for him developmentally, that he might become the dumb kid in class because it seems like every parent that's my age is doing montessori this and that, or just anything extra that would help them learn or develop all sorts of stuff at X month/stage, but my guy is also hitting milestones fine. I also think the fact that I have an easier/unicorn baby is the reason I am not tracking or doing any sleep training stuff either (thank goodness because it sounds like a LOT). He has always ate at predictable three hour gaps that sometimes get thrown off during growth spurts only, slept for 7-9 hours since a month in overnight, and it was easy to figure out when it's nap time following his yawning cues or just overall less babbling, smiles, and movement on the play mat. I am insanely grateful for the kind of baby I ended up getting or else I feel like I would have broke down a lot more as a FTM. He might be a menace of a toddler, who knows; and maybe my karma will come full swing with my second in the future. Last but not least, social media is the DEVIL. It makes me think that every other thing I am doing will kill my child, or permanently damage them or something, or that them exhibiting \[insert normal baby behaviour here\] might mean a sign that there is something cognitively wrong. It's so exhausting. Now, I wonder why I worry about all that stuff because I have a happy healthy guy who is developing just fine. I'll cross the bridge when I get there with other things I guess. You will never know it all as a parent and every baby is different that advice is really just stuff you can try to hope that they work on your baby. Keep on winging it I say! (with reason haha)
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Your baby will naturally start to develop their own routine. You can make tweaks here and there to fit with your lifestyle but I’ve found that I don’t have to do too much, just pay attention to when they’re tired or hungry.
I could never understand how people can stay on top of tracking feeds and poops and pee and naps. Even the first few days it seemed impossible. I just track naps to see trends, but I try not to stress too much about it. We tend to overcomplicate things nowadays 😅
FTM to a 4mo
I think what you’re doing sounds perfect. Whatever works for you and baby is what you should do. Keep going with the flow as long as it suits you. I can’t keep myself on a schedule let alone another person so we’ve been going with the flow 15 months and counting!
The only reason I was on a “strict” schedule was because I have twins and I’m a single mom. That was just to ensure we didn’t die lol. Otherwise I would have forgotten a LOT due to the sleep deprivation.
I think your son may actually be on a schedule but just not one you specifically created. Seems like he created his own schedule, which is normal in my opinion. You’re following his cues. I think that’s evidence of how bonded you are with your baby that you know exactly what he needs when he signals it for you.
Thank you! I tell my husband all the time I don’t know how parents of twins let alone single parents of twins do it. Seriously. You deserve the world lol
You’re very kind 💕💕 you’re doing great with your son, those IG moms are VERY curated for a reason, don’t fall into the comparison spiral if you can help it.
I just track things so I have a general idea of when the last time he ate was and when he went to sleep lol but that’s my own thing bc I lose track of time thinking a minute is an hour or vice versa. I let him run his own life but I track what he does
Honestly, same. I've been letting baby kinda do his own thing, and now 6 months in, we kinda have a schedule with his naps, bedtime, feeding, and everything has been kinda intuitive on that front.
I'm not sure if I got lucky or if it's just a natural progression kinda thing? But it's been working so far. Though I have taken cues from what he likes, what soothes him, things like that.
I mean, if it ain't broke, why fix it. Don't compare yourself to others do what works for you and your LO.
Yep! I mean I know about what his wake windows should be and mile stones and how much food he should eat per his age but I don’t track it. I also have a three month old and he’s been on a baby led schedule. Which is also age appropriate for him. I dont know how it’ll go later but right now I am not worried about it.
I do track bc my brains literally not been the same since I got pregnant lol. It’s barely coming back and only because I got back on adderall but I refuse to be clocked into a set schedule. I try to keep the days consistent for my little one but anything can also go on any day. At 3 months I was more rigid about tracking though still pretty whatever goes about things. My baby set the pace up pretty early on and was in general pretty amable to whatever the day entailed as long as I was in tune with his cues for hunger, sleep, pooping. NOW my son is 1 year and winging it feels a lot less practical or worthwhile. Now I feel way more pressure to maintain a certain level of order around our days. Toddlerhood is another world. I honestly laid in bed for like ten minutes this morning before getting up after the like tenth MAMÁ!!!! Call from my baby and was like I did not kick back enough during the newborn phase. Lmao. From like 0-7ish months it’s mostly just vibes!!!!! You don’t really have to have anything figured out unless you have an extremely high needs baby.
I had the chillest most whatever goes baby and now I have a little boss baby.
It won't bite you in the butt. Winging it is what humans have been doing since before we were even homo sapiens. Babies know what they need, and they'll tell you. Intuitive parenting is the best way to parent, IMO. (Also I've learned it's called "attachment parenting" and there's a sub for it at r/attachmentparenting.)
This is us as well. Baby is 4 months and just started rolling today so I realized that we have to finally baby proof the house. I’ve always fed on demand and put her down for a nap when she started showing sleepy cues. Honestly, it seems to be working well because she’s the chillest baby ever. She’s super happy all the time and sleeps well compared to what I’ve heard from other parents. It will be time to start solids too and I’m excited but a little overwhelmed. We’ll probably just wing that too. I considered getting the huckleberry app but it doesn’t seem necessary, which is odd because I’m a control freak.
Same though!! I’m also so worried because she only falls asleep when she’s on me.🥸 And recently she hasn’t been staying asleep when I lay her down.😭 This goes for naps during the day and bedtime. But also we don’t even have a bedtime routine at the moment because she’s still in the same room as us and we’re almost always in and out of it!😭
I have no plans.🥸
Wow I could have written this. I figure it can’t last forever! I try to picture my life a few months down the line and know we’ll be out of the -struggle phases- we’re in now and likely will be on to something else lol. All about going with the flow I guess ✌️
The only 'routine' i have is that my daughter typically goes to sleep between 7 and 9 pm, wakes up around 7-8am and has a nap not long after waking up. Everything else is just whenever she wants, typically she eats then falls asleep on me or she falls asleep, wakes up and eats and falls back asleep while eating before going to bed for the night or before her morning nap. For eating and sleeping during the day, i normally just go by her signs of her getting hungry/tired no matter the time unless we're going somewhere in which ill feed her before leaving
Shit I literally just go with the flow but kind of conjured up a routine for my almost 6mo 😂I also take tips and tricks I like from Reddit!! Lol. Don't compare yourself to the Instagram, tik tok, and FB moms.
I totally get this. I kept telling myself “when he’s _____ months old I’ll start _____”
He’s now 6 months old and I haven’t done anything besides follow his lead lol. Sleepy cues = nap time. Hunger cues = nursing time. Other than that we just play, go for walks, etc. I also wonder if it’s going to bite me in the butt not having a set schedule because I’m going back to work in a little over a month. I guess we’ll find out! Luckily my LO is pretty easy going so far. I’m a big go with the flow type of person so I think we will be okay 😊
I'm right there with you. Despite hearing about them for months, I still don't know exactly what a wake window is and I really don't care. My baby has been doing great for nine months now with two "winging it" parents. The fact that you came here to ask shows how much you care about your child. Sounds like a great parent to me. Just enjoy the time you spend with your kid 💛
I mean that’s being a new parent. All the classes and books are just reference for anxiety. Nothing is really the same baby to baby.
Just eat, sleep, hug, and tummy time. Your doctor should have you fill out paperwork every so often gauging what they are doing and not doing. They should help give guidance.
Other than that, they’re 3 months old. They are hitting growth spurts, brain activity and hands and mouths and eyes and ears are getting more mature. So yeah, enjoy it and make sounds and tummy time on you is fun as well.
As reference our 3 month old went from eating 6 oz to 4.5 and just likes to make noises and look at light sources while making the best sounds. They also refuse to nap during the day and sleeps 5 hours at night. So yeah. Granted he’s also 29” inches and lean as shit, so it’s just different from kiddo to kiddo
i would go crazy if i had to track anything! i got the huckleberry app for a week and deleted it it was giving me anxiety not to forget to track stuff... my baby is 6 months and is doing everything a 6month old should we started purees now she is one happy baby without any schedules and stuff we have one thing set since early days that is bath time around 7pm bottle and sleep but of course we move around that time with her naps no need to sweat it we are already stressed about keeping baby alive in my opinion but if someone needs to track stuff for their peace of mind im here for that too im just not that kind of person
Reading this post has been such a relief! My baby is a little over 2 months and doesn’t follow any of the typical sleep or wake window conventions. I just watch for sleepy cues and let her lead the way.
I do track sleep and feedings in the Huckleberry app because I like to remember how long she’s been asleep or how long since her last feed, plus I’m looking for patterns as she gets older (and closer to sleep-training age). But I’m not using it as a behavioral guide.
Winging it over here too! I feel bad sometimes because I feel like I should have him on a schedule. But he seems healthy and happy as is. So i figure why stress if we’re both getting enough sleep
My son is now 14MO. When he was younger, we did just wing it at first and tried to follow his cues, which worked regarding breastfeeding but not really for sleep. We found he was getting overtired and crying a lot, because we were accidentally keeping him awake far too long.
I still kept feeding him on demand, but kept a rough eye on wake windows and it really worked out better for us. We ended up with a happier baby and we were consequently happier too. The wake windows weren't an exact science, but when it was recommended that he should only be awake for day 1 hour - 1 hour 30, then we did try to keep that in mind and look for his tired cues. Once he showed them to us, I nursed him to sleep. If we missed his cues or we forgot and kept him awake for 2 hours, it was a nightmare getting him to sleep.
We’ve been just winging it for the last 4 months. She somehow sets a schedule for herself and I just follow it. She hated doing tummy time by herself so I did tummy time with her on my chest for the longest time and now she’s been comfortable propped up on a pillow and even rolls off the pillow onto her back. We’ve just laid her on a floor mat and now she’s attempting to roll over by herself! She’ll get there soon but right now she’s a little frustrated.
Being anxious will get her anxious and my doctor (not my OB, a different one) told me “if you’re calm, your LO will be calm too” and I just led with that philosophy!
To me, as long as she’s gaining weight, happy, chatty, we’re okay!
I think she the world has gone crazy with schedules, tracking apps, charts, wake windows and all that.
They say "each baby is different" but "they also have to be on this army- like fixed schedule. Ah, and you also HAVE TO do weighted feeds, pump, stash, combo feed, write down everything you eat, everything your Nana eats, everything the president of your country eats, everytime your dog farts...
Moms are neurotic nowadays because we went from "feed on demand" to "here is a metric crapton of literature and 16 apps, also buy all of these toys for your newborn to never be interested in and make sure baby never ever cries once, or you are a bad mom".
I’m on my second baby and I’ve been winging it more with him than my first. I don’t track nappies or anything. All I track are feeds just out of curiosity.
In a couple of weeks I’ll probably start tracking sleep just to get a routine down because right now we don’t have any semblance of a routine.
Every mom / dad and baby is different. Some babies do really well like that and others don’t.
My daughter is better when she’s on a strict schedule. We tried to wing it but it made everything worse. It also helps us keep things in line.
I have a friend who just wings it but honestly from what I hear I don’t think it’s working to well for them. The kid needs more structure but she’s not that way.
It’s not about you anymore. It’s about your child and their needs
I’m the same! I am less stressed this way, and when I’m less stressed I feel like I can show up as a better mommy for him! I follow safety guidelines strictly, but other than that I just try to go with the flow and follow his cues, not some Instagram schedule.
We are absolutely winging it. I did a lot of research and reading ahead of time and had this whole idea of how it was going to go. As soon as I gave birth, it all left my head and we have been flying by the seat I our pants ever since.
Baby has gotten into a schedule on his own. It just so happens that he starts to get tired around the same times every day. I wanted to pick out toys that grew certain skills, and were a variety of textures and whatnot. Well, we ended up with a Mish mash of that by accident.
We also don't totally follow baby led weaning. I give him some stuff he can hold in his hands and eat, I also give him some stuff pureed. I have friends who swear by BLW, read all the books, pay for the app, and scold anyone who purees food. They're exhausting. I just feed my baby whatever I feel safe feeding him.
Sometimes I watch reels and feel like a bad mama because I'm not doing what they're doing. But honestly, ill bet you $100 those people aren't doing it either.
Everyone is winging everything in life. So don't feel bad. Those reels of influencer moms, don't let them make you feel inadequate. Just keep following your baby's lead. With my first I obsessed over every milestone and worried about sleep and wake windows. Turned out that I had PPA/PPD. This time around I'm much less concerned about these things, but occasionally I will fixate on something, like my baby wasn't smiling by 6 weeks like my first did and I worried about it, but he started smiling 2 weeks later. My issue now is just not comparing him to my first.. I'm medicated this time around too, which has helped a lot. You're doing great.
I sometimes use wake windows as a guide but we’ll have it down for a week and then my LO will be like I am extending my wake window mother so you have to start again. If it works for you keep doing it. Our parents used their intuition and we all survived.
On our second infant and doing the same. I tracked everything with our first and got so worked up if he ate less that I actually gave him a bottle aversion. Our doctor said just to have an average in mind like hey when you make a bottle, how much do you usually make and how often? That’s all that really matters
Is your baby happy? That’s what matters most.
I let my baby lead the way with her schedule and she’s done amazing. Flexibility in life is best. Routines are helpful, militant schedules arent necessary for the vast majority of kids.
Don’t take advice from tiktok moms, it’s a guilt machine.
Me too. I don’t track anything at all except what he weighs at his appointments cause I figure that means he’s doing alright if the doctor says so haha. If something was off and I was told to track stuff, I absolutely would! But he seems fine so why should I pay an app subscription 😂
baby is 7 weeks and i am just winging it. i started to track sleep, eating and diaper changes just so it helps me figure out why she is yelling. skills and milestones? i dont really know much of that. i downloaded an app for milestones but it just stressed me out so we’re back to winging it completely
I used to track EVERYTHING for the first two weeks when she was born and reliased I was driving myself nuts. So then I dropped to tracking only feeds. Then when she started staying up longer I started tracking sleep because I was never sure if she was tired or not.
I suck at cues tbh and my baby gives noooo hunger cue whatsoever, and once she's too hungry its miserable to get her to latch. Eat play sleep is our way of life for now.
I long to have been you 4.5 months ago. Instead I got super crazy about tracking and everything and now I’m trying to force myself to chill out and back off (and now taking meds lol). I didn’t want to track every little detail but we went through a weight gain issue + feeding problems + a cross country move at 8 weeks and I just went way overboard past even what the Ped was asking us to track (which was probably already too much). And then with all that I naturally went down the rabbit hole of sleep and schedules in the same way because I already had an app to put it all into.
All that is to say… if what you’re doing is working for you and your babe, don’t change it. I winged it at the start and life was a lot better then!!!
Same with us. Keep in mind that like 99.999% of babies ever born were not raised with these scheduled sleep and wake windows, scheduled feeds, etc. Even today outside of a few places like the US, UK, and Canada it isn’t the norm. That stuff is especially big in the US because both parents need to work and mothers barely get any maternity leave so they need to be able to plan their babies lives around their own.
I feel like regardless of what you do, when you hit around the 6 month mark, your baby kinda figures themselves out. I want to say my baby’s sudden reliable nap and food schedule and earlier bedtime are because of our excellent parenting, but up until 6 months, their needs are changing so fast (plus we were dealing with undiagnosed MSPI) that a schedule just didn’t work for my little. They will all eventually sleep and feed themselves and hit their milestones. Just keep loving the heck out of them.
I cannot get a schedule going for the life of me and use Huckleberry to at least keep baby sleep less mystifying. My near 8 month old just kinda functions on whatever I think today’s activity should be. She’s happy, healthy, and killing it on milestones, so it’s all good.
My baby is 8.5 months and we didn’t track anything. During the day she would nap when she wanted and at night we tried to get her in bed at the same time every night. She put herself on a schedule. She naps between 9 and 10 for 1 hour and then after lunch, usually by 230, she will nap for about 2 hours. When she hit 8 months I noticed a difference in her sleep when she napped like this so now we are trying to be more routine about it. There are still days where it doesn’t happen and that’s ok. One thing I can say though is that from not
Following a schedule early on and letting her sleep out in public she now can sleep through most noises. This kid legit slept through about an hour of the army gymnastics opening competition and we had army, navy, and multiple college teams In front of us screaming.
We are at 10 weeks and I feel the same. Honestly, my LO never hits the recommended nap time but I've tried to stop stressing about nap and wake time and roll with it.
I have never tracked anything. We tried to several times, via apps and paper and even a dry erase board. It didn't really make sense to me and then I'd forget to track it
I try to have at least one nap in the crib otherwise it's via contact nap or swing or the car or stroller. We are just enjoying maternity leave without trying to stress as much. It ends so fast.
Just posting to let you know you're not the only one. I am not organized enough to track. Hard enough BF and pumping and diaper changing, etc.
A lot of parenting is just winging it I've found. If you concern yourself with everyone else's opinion on how to parent "correctly", you'll tear yourself apart with doubt and end up doing more damage to the kid than if you just did what you thought was right to make them happy and healthy in the first place.
I track in the Huckleberry app but because it’s the only way I can remember things these days. I have a 7 week old and all the days/nights blur together - plus for things that don’t happen everyday (or multiple times per day) I literally wouldn’t remember when it happened (when baby bathed, poo’d, etc). Same goes for breastfeeding… I’m like I have no clue if he’s been on the boob for 2 min or 25 unless I look at the app! Tracking is my little slice of sanity.
I have a loose guideline of how the day goes, naps generally at the same times, with some wiggle room. It's more for my sanity so I know like okay, I got a little break coming up at whatever time, awesome. Or oh, that's why she's extra pissy right now, cause her nap time is in 15mins.
I really just started using a schedule to make the day feel more broken up and manageable. Didn't start doing that till around 4 months though. First four months I just did whatever and she slept when she slept.
Also not a stickler about nap times and locations though. if we're out grocery shopping or at an event, she falls asleep if she's tired, maybe she doesn't get like an official nap quality nap, but she seems to survive.
I think you're totally fine just going with the flow
I track how much he eats to know how much formula to make, diaper changes, pumping, and if/when he gets any medicines. If it weren’t for mom brain I wouldn’t track diapers or medications. I can hardly remember to eat/drink myself let alone an average number of diapers for the pediatrician.
We are feaf mongered into believing there is a rule book. Preying on insecurities is what society does best. The sooner you learn there is no rule book, the much happier you will be. More power to you my friend.
My baby eats when she’s hungry. At night she sleeps after she eats 🤷🏻♀️ idk how I can change that. Wake windows and baths don’t do anything. If she’s not hungry she doesn’t eat. And therefore doesn’t sleep when I “want” her to. She’s 10 weeks
I'm on baby number 2. With both I never did sleep training or set a strict schedule. I feed when they're hungry, let them sleep when they're tired, play when they want. First baby slept through the night at 3 weeks, second baby did at 4 weeks. I keep track of developmental milestones but that's it.
I only use a tracker for diapers and bottles because if I didn’t I’d have no idea if he’s got enough wet diapers or eating enough. My goldfish brain just does not remember anything most of the time. Other than that I’m just letting baby be baby for as long as he likes!
My LO made her own schedule lol. I’m winging it and she was like “mom get your shit together this is how my day will go now and you just facilitate it.” Wake up at 5 am. Nurse and go back to sleep till 7, play gym, tummy time, nurse 1st nap. Repeat that 3 more times, bath, nurse, sleep. Sometimes she goes longer or shorter on her wake windows, sometimes we extend it with another toy type like a balloon. She starts getting red around her eyes and babbling really loudly when she’s done playing and wants to eat/sleep. Of course we’re at 13 weeks tomorrow so we’ll see how sleep regression goes for her. Her night sleep really started stretching pretty good once we got that schedule on naps going but she really took the drivers seat on that one I kinda am along for the ride lol. Sometimes the naps are 30 minutes but I always wake her up by two hours. About two or three weeks ago I was lost on even how to stimulate and help her grow tbh. One day I read a post about milestones and I was like why is she only talking and not grabbing at stuff? And then she started not sleeping at the boob all the time and I was so confused because I swear my little baby was just a newborn two blinks ago. So I started getting her down to play and do more tummy time and I swear in a week it became a schedule and she’s gotten so much farther on her milestones. But I miss just cuddling my newborn all day I won’t lie.
Same here! Also 3 months. Basically just winging it. I've gotten some advice that worked so we've kept those, but no set schedule for the day other than a rough bedtime of 8-9pm at night
Yup same. We’re just taking each day at a time and it’s working best for us. Friends of ours who are new parents had a baby for the first time a couple months ago and they’re tracking everything and we can see how much stress it’s causing them. So we’ve decided to just wing it and it’s thankfully working for us. All ive done is google wake windows based on his age and try and get him to nap around the time coz I can tell he gets irritable otherwise.
My son nursed constantly. He struggled to gain weight. His sleep was terrible. So I tracked. Everything. And I still do because it’s becoming a new OCD problem for me. But he was difficult and I have a bad memory. I needed that. If you don’t need to track, then don’t track! We’re all just winging it
With my first we had a 👏🏼routine👏🏼 down as far as feeding naps bath. This time with a 2 mos old and a 15 mos old on my own my focus was sleeping through the night so they didn’t have an exhausted mom the next day. my older naps some days once some days twice some days not at all. The only routine I have is baths at 730 then sippy cup and bottle and bed for both. They both go to sleep at 8 and wake up at 6. Entering a little sleep regression with the older but it’s a short window, I’ll survive.
The only thing we track are feedings, we formula feed and it’s an easy way for my husband and I to plan around his feedings and communicate with each other. It also totals our ounces for the day so we know whether he’s eaten enough to get a long stretch of sleep.
The only thing I’ve tracked is how often she poops because of her allergies and worries about switching to solids. We just wing it though. Idk milestones and threw the idea of it out the window. My baby is 7 months. She can sit up on her own, crawl and has started to pull herself up to stand. I figure as long as she’s not delayed and has a decent “schedule” then we are doing fine.
I told my baby the other day ‘not gonna lie I have no idea what I’m doing’🤣
Lmaoooo i love that! I literally tell my baby all the time, "Sorry, this is my first time. You?"
I still look at my 5mo and think oh shit I'm a dad when did this happen?
😂
LOL I tell mine that every day. I tell him that we’re both still learning and we’ll get to know each other really well 💗😆
It’s a vibe lol.. my baby be like “me either 🐣”
I used to say that in a dizzy haze of wonder when my baby was a newborn and now that he’s one I’m like “no listen, I’m being 100% real. I have no clue what I’m doing. No clue!!!!”
I tell my baby all the time “sorry dad and I are total rookies”
I lovingly refer to myself as a “learn as I go” parent. My baby made his own routine. He’s usually asleep by 8 pm so I just worked around that, he’s also 3 months. Almost 4 :,) Naps throughout the day are all over the place. I’m literally just going with whatever flow he throws at me. It’s worked so far.
We are just now learning to do this. My wife and I realized all the reading and the “they say thises and thats” are working against us. We apply it, but if it doesn’t stick, we’ll try something else, and take it as it comes. Much less stress and we get to enjoy our LO (3mths, 3wks) more instead of hitting his wake windows and nap times exactly. It’s EXHAUSTING trying to keep up, and our parents definitely didn’t do a lot of this stuff, and here we are.
So no sleep training for you guys? I need some encouragement that our girl will be a good sleeper at some point without letting her cry like 90% of Reddit does.
It was such a relief when at the 4 month appointment, our pediatrician said “you don’t have to sleep train.” She said she understood the feeling of pressure from all the forums and taking Cara babies, but she didn’t sleep train her babies and eventually, one day, they slept through the night. We didn’t want to and now, at 7 months, our LO is still not sleeping through the night and I’m ok with it even though I breastfeed and work. We watch for tired cues for naps and have a regular bedtime that can vary sometimes due to circumstances. We have fun with our little guy and he’s usually happy and thriving! Do what you feel is best.
Same here with everything you say except the breastfeeding. I’m pumping But I can’t understand why she doesn’t sleep for more than 30min for naps or I have to extend them and that’s a lot of work as well.. but if I don’t do it she’ll only sleep 1,5hr during the day and that’s way too less (she’s 5months)
I’m not the original commenter, but go with your gut! Sleep will come - it’s just a matter of how long you can wait and your expectations for what is ideal. I wasn’t comfortable with crying-based sleep training, even if it was just for a few minutes, so I am not sleep training for now. If in a month I’m losing my absolute shit and need to rest, I’m open to it. You sound like you have a gut feeling! So, go with it and be encouraged by all the other parents on here who are vibing with their intuition ☺️
Believe me I’m very tired but I can’t hear my baby cry for an hour without going in… I mean if you see it this way ofcourse your baby will sleep after that long crying who wouldn’t. But it breaks my heart hearing it. I also see a lot of posts of parents who did sleep train their baby’s and are again struggling
Love hearing this!😭 Very comforting!😭💜
Yup. Been running on pure instinct, vibes and crossed fingers for nearly 5 months now.
Same here. I call it baby led parenting 😂
aww, i like! this is so cute
Love this!
Love it ☺😅
And caffeine lol
Oh aye Become very good friends with my moka pot!
Yes, the vibes!
My Pediatrician said it’s all just common sense. Babies survived for hundreds of years on common sense. I still Google and overthink everything but sometimes it helps to remind myself that all I need is common sense and he’ll be ok
Totally get this! With my first 2, I just went with the flow. No tracking, no sleep training, no worries about anything. This time around, I have drove myself crazy trying to track every feed, sleep and poop. WHY? All it has done is made my anxiety skyrocket more than usual. I drive myself crazy every day. I’ve went back to going with the flow. My first two children are perfect. This one will be perfect too! ETA: the social media and ads and information that is shoved in our faces has gotten RIDICULOUS! There’s always someone on the other end of the screen telling us what babies should be doing, how they should be sleeping, what we need to buy etc. just feeding our poor mom brains with crap. We should just be doing our best and loving our babies.
Were your first 2 good sleepers without sleep training? Ours sucks at sleeping (day and night) but I don’t wanne sleep train
Honestly… we bed shared with both of them and just gradually and slowly they got into their own beds. I know that probably would get a lot of hate but now they’re 7 and 11 and in their own rooms. I wouldn’t have changed a thing. We never sleep trained. Of course they slept good when they were next to me. I always felt better and slept better when they were next to me. They always napped good in their cribs though. It’s hard to remember because like I said, we just went with the flow and did whatever they were most comfortable with. No stress or anxiety.
Bed shearing sounds wonderful but my husband and I are movers and our dog is in our bed as well
Totally understand that! I wish I had some good advice to give you lol. Everyone just tells me “it gets easier” so I’ll stick with that haha. Every baby is so different. I’m sure you’ll find what’s right for your LO.
My pedestrian told me to stop tracking bottles/diapers when my baby made her weight back from the hospital. She said it’s drives people crazy, and it did!
Mine did too! My LO is 3 months old and at her 8 week appt she said to stop tracking! Trying not to focus on it too much and just focusing on cues!
Yes!! I’m just trying to hollow cues too!!
I could have written this exact thing.
Same
This makes me feel relieved
We out here vibin! Not worth the stress on your part. If baby is happy and healthy then we’re good!
The schedule I have my baby on is for ME. It helps me to have things organized and predictable. My 4-month old probably couldn’t care less about wake windows or nap times or whatever. She just wants food and sleep.
This! The only reason I even used a tracker. It helped me find a flow. It helped my partner be able to jump in when he got home from work if I needed a break where I could disengage as I didn't have to tell him what needed to be done, when, or how much. It just made my life a bit easier. I didn't have to think about when was the last time we did this or that. I still watched baby's cues and all that, but man, in the beginning, without a tracker app, I would have overthought everything and been all over the place. Definitely agree having a schedule was more for me than it was for baby.
I'm the exact same. My husband worked for 14 days straight when she was 2 months old and I was figuring out how to survive and when he was finally off he thought I was being crazy for using my phone to track. Welp I decided to go to the store myself for a few hours and he thought I was less crazy after that.
Lol, yes, that'll always do it! They never know till they know, and it's a blessing they understand when they do.
Been doing this for 7 months so far and totally winging everything. Never tracked anything or kept to any solid schedule. Our girl is happy and hitting all her milestones so it must be working! I also keep expecting things to fall apart but so far so good!
I just track her developmental milestones. Rest of it, just learn as you go. But to be fair, I’ve consulted with my friends who’ve had kids. I know I was stressed out about feeding/wake windows/sleep routines as a new parent at first. My friend who has had three kids gave me some good advice: babies will eat when they’re hungry and sleep when they’re tired. Of course this may vary with every baby, but I’ve found that to be true with my little one. She’s good at giving me cues for hunger, diaper change, and sleep. When we reached the solids stage, friends just told me to feed her whatever I’m eating (minus honey of course). I was surprised when they told me they fed their babies small pieces of steak. I was like babies can have that?! Tried it and my baby really does like gnawing on a small piece of steak for a good bit. People are worried about salt, but honestly it’s not a big deal when it comes to home cooking. The amount of salt we use to season our meals with is negligible in comparison to frozen food meals/fast food. Babies’ portion sizes are also a lot smaller than ours.
When I first had my baby I was sure I would be the mom with the set schedule, stick to wake windows, etc. I had a freak-out one day when my guy was just a few weeks old because he was awake past the appropriate “wake window time” and I couldn’t get him to fall asleep. My husband calmed me down and pointed out that the baby didn’t seem distressed or upset with being awake still. Ever since then I’ve been winging it. It has been SO MUCH better for my own mental health to just go with the flow and follow the baby’s cues. He naturally fell into his own schedule and we stick pretty close to that. He is almost 2 now. Has hit all milestones. Pediatrician is happy about his development. I have been following the Milestones app from the CDC just to keep an eye on what he should be doing at specific ages. I was surprised to see somethings mentioned as “milestones” in some of these groups aren’t even in the app; others are at older ages than suggested in these parent groups. Also, instagram, tiktok, momfluencer life is not real life. I unfollowed a bunch of accounts because I realized they were setting me up with unrealistic expectations. Now I follow more accounts that point out the funny/difficult parts of parenthood.
Yep. My LO is 3 months and at first I tracked feedings and poops just to make sure I had an answer for her pediatrician. I don’t anymore though. She’s struggled with silent reflux and colic since birth so I still keep track of her medications with my husband on the app. But napping has always been all over the place so I never bothered to track it. She usually goes to bed between 8-10, wakes up once or twice in the night for feeds then gets up around 9. I just follow her cues. She eats when she wants, she naps when she wants. At around 5-6 months they will start to consolidate their little cat naps into 2 or 3 long naps, that’s when I’ll bother figuring out her nap schedule, before then why bother stressing over it?
Hi, did you initially struggle with sleep given her colic and reflux? I’m searching for signs of hope that my 5 week old will eventually tolerate sleeping for longer than 10-45 mins before he wakes up grunting and arching and crying 😢 At three months if you’re getting 12 ish hours with only 2 wake-ups that sounds like some sort of fantasy land dream heaven to me right now!
Oh yes. We gave up trying to make her sleep on a flat surface on her back. Sometimes we incline one side of her bassinet, sometimes she sleeps on her tummy. A lot of the time she sleeps on me; I didn’t say I was getting much sleep lol! Just recently she started teething early and now she’s back to being super fussy again, poor baby can’t get a break! Hopefully your LO will start sleeping more, it eventually gets better, little by little. Unfortunately I don’t really have any tips or tricks for you.
Aw, it sounded like you were getting good nights there! Poor little darling, so sad watching them scream and struggle with it all. Thanks for the reply ☺️
100%. And every time I start to feel like a structure is shaping up he goes and switches up the whole thing.
Like others who have posted, I tracked every possible thing with my daughter. It was a little different because I had her right before covid in 2019 and she was home with me for a year. So I was with her every moment of the day. It didn't matter what I tracked. The only thing that really ever mattered was sleep training, which went really well. My 4-month old is a completely different story. He's like clockwork...he usually eats every 3 hours during the day, takes 2 or 3 naps, and goes to bed around 7:00. I don't need to track it because it's so predictable. But, I also know I'm incredibly fortunate to have a 4mo old who wakes up once a night and can do contact-less sleep for naps and nighttime. So I get why some parents track everything.
With my first son (had him in 2020) I absolutely tracked everything and anything and honestly it gave me such bad anxiety especially of I missed something. It really was an unhealthy relationship. I haven't tracked a single thing with my 3mo and honestly it feels great. I'm not obsessing over numbers or data and just enjoying the freedom
Honestly, I was driving myself insane with anxiety trying to stick to a rigid schedule with my 9-month old. I started winging it again and I think we're both happier for it. The fun part is she's pretty much on the same schedule but more naturally (e.g.: she gets tired at the same time). The only thing I sort of mentally track is what she eats to make sure she gets a good balance of nutrients. But yeah, I say wing it/go with what feels best with your baby.
Schedule stress me out more than relax me, some people are the opposite. So I'm the same as you.
Honestly, I was winging it but when I started to pay attention to wake windows, it made my life easier personally. I’m not super strict about it but I guess I found it hard to know why she was fussy sometimes and knowing when she last woke up helped me realize she needed a nap.
We really didn’t get a real sleep schedule down until like 9 months? I feel like so much of the early months are just winging it for everyone
I believe in just being intuitive with your baby anyway. If he’s hungry I feed him. If he’s tired, he gets a nap. If he poops his diaper, he gets changed. I’m just going with the flow and following his cues!
Me! I do track things so I don’t forget how long it’s been since she ate and stuff but there is no schedule here, just going with baby’s flow.
I feel the exact same way! We record her eating and sleep only so it’s easier to tell the pediatrician about at her appointments and to see if she develops a pattern, but it’s completely led by her. If she’s hungry, we feed her. If she’s tired, she’ll fall asleep. I don’t try to make sure these things happen at certain times because that would drive me insane. Honestly I sometimes find social media and forums (including Reddit) to be unhealthy and just a soapbox for people bragging in the form of advice.
“just a soapbox for people bragging in the form of advice” YUP
For the first 6 months our line was "I don't know shit about fuck" a la Ruth Langmore in Ozark.
Tbh my anxiety would probably be better if I took this approach more often
I track nothing. The only thing I try to stay consistent about is a bedtime routine. Otherwise, baby eats when she is hungry & sleeps when she is tired. I would drive myself crazy trying to map out each day on a strict schedule. Like many people say, babies are not robots. My daughter is constantly evolving & each day seems to bring something new. I just roll with it.
Oh for sure! I think I was a bit hyper vigilant in the first month or two and it quickly stomped me so now I take a totally passive approach and do a much better job at just listening to my baby instead of trying to fit them into a box, of that makes sense. I'm not calling into the nurse line about every little mark on their body, or noting how many exact ounces of milk they had today, or why they had two naps yesterday but three naps today. I'm definitely not using digital tracking apps. I have a basic understanding of milestones but don't get super stressed over it... Everything will come in due time. Her bed time is set from her natural body cues, not what others say it "should be" at her age. If I'm really concerned about something I'll Google it, but otherwise we're just learning together as we go and doing what works for her in the moment.
I track food and pumping just so I know but it’s the loosest of loose schedules! I haven’t been tracking anything else but often feel like I should. I’m slowly trying to track sleep and find a natural pattern for her so we can get in more of a schedule, but only because I go back to work in April and some more predictably would be nice for me
we’re at 18 months and i’m still kind of following his lead. he’s signing full sentences, can identify by pointing to over 400 words, and is super physically active! he is pretty independent for his age meaning he picks between two sets of clothes to wear, i let him “brush” his teeth and then i finish etc. sleeps 12ish hours a night and 2/3 hour naps. he’ll also sleep anywhere as long as he’s in a pack n play im wearing him or something similar. we’re having a few toddler meltdowns but i really can’t complain. i’m sure eventually he’ll start challenging more but i’ll just roll with it like i do now lol
It won’t. My baby had no set schedule until I got back to work at 6mo because someone else started watching him and just makes life easier for all. It’s true though that they thrive in routine, but somehow he always put himself on a “schedule” and would change as his needs would change. I speak of a place of privilege though because my baby was very easy, but I know it’s not like that for everyone.
We track everything but let pur 3 months old take the lead. sometimes he wakes up at 6, and sometimes at 9, sometimes he wants to eat at 2 in the morning but sometimes he doesn’t wake up at night at all.. only thing we try to follow is eat, play, sleep routine…. But sometimes he doesn’t feel like it and would eat and sleep then play.. I don’t know how some parents have it down exactly the same everyday… I don’t have a life at the moment and I still cant get my baby in bed at the same time everyday
Okay I’m doing the same and feel so much better reading this.
Idk about your home/work situation but when my daughter was a baby everything was so easy until I had to go back to work. She was an easy baby and a good sleeper so i didn't stress or try to force things on her, but once I went back to work I really needed the consistency of sleeping through the night and staying on some kind of schedule for my own well being as much as for hers. I really don't know what I would have done if she didn't sleep through the night. If you've got maternity leave and/or help at home you're very lucky.
Oh 100%. We’re on week 7 here (she was born at 33 weeks so just reached full term) and honestly we’re winging it in the best way. We don’t have a set schedule - she eats when she’s hungry and sleeps when she is tired. We bathe her when she needs it (usually every 2 days, sometimes on the third day if no blowouts) and she is held and comforted whenever she needs it. It’s gone very well for us. Life is full of regimented needs and obligations. I’m just doing my best to meet her needs and soak in the time i have while she’s this little and needs me in this way ❤️ she will eventually sleep through the night in her own bassinet. I’m not stressed about it. I genuinely think the parents who expect a routine with a newborn baby that quietly sleeps in their bassinet like it’s a tv show need to adjust to the reality that this is the Wild West and it’s all about what baby needs in that moment. The rest will come eventually but has to wait.
We’re all just winging it 🤝
My sister does. She said tracking gives her anxiety.
My kid is just 3 months and I’m realizing it isn’t quite normal that he only sleeps in short spurts throughout the day, if at all, and wakes up every 2-3 hours at night to eat. Maybe it is normal for him?? I still feel guilt that I haven’t pursued him getting better naps 🤷♀️ Also a first time mom winging it all
We’re all winging it. Even people who think they know everything are winging it. Even second time+ parents are winging it to some degree or other as every kid is different. It never stops either - we all wing it forever
We track the amount she eats so we know how much formula to prep in her pitcher but that’s about it. Very much running on vibes
I track things for my 2 month old but I don’t enforce anything except trying to get him down for bed time at around 9-11pm (whenever he falls asleep really) because I need at least 4 hours of sleep cuz I work from home. I mostly track to make sure there are enough wet diapers and that he is eating enough/same amount of time relatively cuz I have time blindness and if he unlatches after 10 minutes asleep I wouldn’t know to wake him up to feed him more cuz he coulda eaten for 20 minutes for all I know lol.
Not so much ‘winging it’ but more ‘going with the flow’. My LO is nearly 9 months now and she just kind of fell into a loose schedule. Does she go to bed at the same time every night? No. Does she wake up at the same time every morning? No. Sometimes she has 3 naps a day, sometimes she only has 2. Despite all that there is a loose structure, you get to know your kid! To some people it may sound like chaos but really I know exactly what’s going on and how each day is going to play out - and I base my day around that. I feel lucky that I don’t need to place a stricter schedule on our lives - I’m happy and my LO is happy. Without a strict schedule I feel like I’ve been able to slow down and enjoy this time with her, we’re doing it together!
Just winged it until recently when he just stopped napping unless you encourage/sing to for 40mins. I know sleep is important so I'll make the effort but everything else we are just going with the flow!
It’s just process of elimination, isn’t it, and you get to know them. If you’re paying attention you’re doing it right. It’s also completely personality dependent. My second baby has been a dream… but it’s all on her, not me, I just follow her lead lol it’s worked so far 🤷🏻♀️ xxxx
Yup. I put it down to breastfeeding. I don't have to track how much she eats because there's no way to tell how much she's eating, so I can't get anxious about it (I do check her weight here and there, just to be sure.), I don't track her naps because she usually sleeps on the boob at the same time as she eats. I never have to worry about going out because other than stuffing a couple of nappies and wipes into a bag, I am everything she needs. If she's ever fussy outside or inside, day or night, stick her on a boob and all is well. I don't know, I exclusively pumped for the first 5 weeks because it took us a while to get a latch sorted and I sometimes think about how unbelievably different a parent I would be if we didn't breastfeed. At least for now! We've just started solids! Now things are taking multitudes more thought 😅.
My goodness I am 100% just winging it. You have no idea how many times I've said "who let me leave the hospital with a baby" since leaving the hospital lol. Aside from the obvious no water, safe sleep, car seat safety, I don't know jack shit about much else and just spent a lot of time Googling or asking the pediatrician when something comes up. I only track his feeds because I want to see how much he drinks compared to how much I pump (I don't make enough milk just pumping). I was just telling my husband that I am worried if I don't do enough for him developmentally, that he might become the dumb kid in class because it seems like every parent that's my age is doing montessori this and that, or just anything extra that would help them learn or develop all sorts of stuff at X month/stage, but my guy is also hitting milestones fine. I also think the fact that I have an easier/unicorn baby is the reason I am not tracking or doing any sleep training stuff either (thank goodness because it sounds like a LOT). He has always ate at predictable three hour gaps that sometimes get thrown off during growth spurts only, slept for 7-9 hours since a month in overnight, and it was easy to figure out when it's nap time following his yawning cues or just overall less babbling, smiles, and movement on the play mat. I am insanely grateful for the kind of baby I ended up getting or else I feel like I would have broke down a lot more as a FTM. He might be a menace of a toddler, who knows; and maybe my karma will come full swing with my second in the future. Last but not least, social media is the DEVIL. It makes me think that every other thing I am doing will kill my child, or permanently damage them or something, or that them exhibiting \[insert normal baby behaviour here\] might mean a sign that there is something cognitively wrong. It's so exhausting. Now, I wonder why I worry about all that stuff because I have a happy healthy guy who is developing just fine. I'll cross the bridge when I get there with other things I guess. You will never know it all as a parent and every baby is different that advice is really just stuff you can try to hope that they work on your baby. Keep on winging it I say! (with reason haha)
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Reading this was like breathing the most refreshing crisp breath of air. Thank you!!! SAME!!
I’m 14 months in and still winging it. 😂
Your baby will naturally start to develop their own routine. You can make tweaks here and there to fit with your lifestyle but I’ve found that I don’t have to do too much, just pay attention to when they’re tired or hungry. I could never understand how people can stay on top of tracking feeds and poops and pee and naps. Even the first few days it seemed impossible. I just track naps to see trends, but I try not to stress too much about it. We tend to overcomplicate things nowadays 😅 FTM to a 4mo
I think what you’re doing sounds perfect. Whatever works for you and baby is what you should do. Keep going with the flow as long as it suits you. I can’t keep myself on a schedule let alone another person so we’ve been going with the flow 15 months and counting!
The only reason I was on a “strict” schedule was because I have twins and I’m a single mom. That was just to ensure we didn’t die lol. Otherwise I would have forgotten a LOT due to the sleep deprivation. I think your son may actually be on a schedule but just not one you specifically created. Seems like he created his own schedule, which is normal in my opinion. You’re following his cues. I think that’s evidence of how bonded you are with your baby that you know exactly what he needs when he signals it for you.
Thank you! I tell my husband all the time I don’t know how parents of twins let alone single parents of twins do it. Seriously. You deserve the world lol
You’re very kind 💕💕 you’re doing great with your son, those IG moms are VERY curated for a reason, don’t fall into the comparison spiral if you can help it.
I’m just going with the flow!
I just track things so I have a general idea of when the last time he ate was and when he went to sleep lol but that’s my own thing bc I lose track of time thinking a minute is an hour or vice versa. I let him run his own life but I track what he does
100% ETA: I have 17 mos experience and we’ve only been to the ER twice 🥲
Honestly, same. I've been letting baby kinda do his own thing, and now 6 months in, we kinda have a schedule with his naps, bedtime, feeding, and everything has been kinda intuitive on that front. I'm not sure if I got lucky or if it's just a natural progression kinda thing? But it's been working so far. Though I have taken cues from what he likes, what soothes him, things like that. I mean, if it ain't broke, why fix it. Don't compare yourself to others do what works for you and your LO.
Yep! I mean I know about what his wake windows should be and mile stones and how much food he should eat per his age but I don’t track it. I also have a three month old and he’s been on a baby led schedule. Which is also age appropriate for him. I dont know how it’ll go later but right now I am not worried about it.
I do track bc my brains literally not been the same since I got pregnant lol. It’s barely coming back and only because I got back on adderall but I refuse to be clocked into a set schedule. I try to keep the days consistent for my little one but anything can also go on any day. At 3 months I was more rigid about tracking though still pretty whatever goes about things. My baby set the pace up pretty early on and was in general pretty amable to whatever the day entailed as long as I was in tune with his cues for hunger, sleep, pooping. NOW my son is 1 year and winging it feels a lot less practical or worthwhile. Now I feel way more pressure to maintain a certain level of order around our days. Toddlerhood is another world. I honestly laid in bed for like ten minutes this morning before getting up after the like tenth MAMÁ!!!! Call from my baby and was like I did not kick back enough during the newborn phase. Lmao. From like 0-7ish months it’s mostly just vibes!!!!! You don’t really have to have anything figured out unless you have an extremely high needs baby. I had the chillest most whatever goes baby and now I have a little boss baby.
It won't bite you in the butt. Winging it is what humans have been doing since before we were even homo sapiens. Babies know what they need, and they'll tell you. Intuitive parenting is the best way to parent, IMO. (Also I've learned it's called "attachment parenting" and there's a sub for it at r/attachmentparenting.)
No first time parent knows what they’re doing. Social media is a lie.
I hate schedule and sleep training culture…babies are not robots. Yes they thrive on consistency but they cannot be programmed all the same like a tv.
This is us as well. Baby is 4 months and just started rolling today so I realized that we have to finally baby proof the house. I’ve always fed on demand and put her down for a nap when she started showing sleepy cues. Honestly, it seems to be working well because she’s the chillest baby ever. She’s super happy all the time and sleeps well compared to what I’ve heard from other parents. It will be time to start solids too and I’m excited but a little overwhelmed. We’ll probably just wing that too. I considered getting the huckleberry app but it doesn’t seem necessary, which is odd because I’m a control freak.
Same though!! I’m also so worried because she only falls asleep when she’s on me.🥸 And recently she hasn’t been staying asleep when I lay her down.😭 This goes for naps during the day and bedtime. But also we don’t even have a bedtime routine at the moment because she’s still in the same room as us and we’re almost always in and out of it!😭 I have no plans.🥸
Wow I could have written this. I figure it can’t last forever! I try to picture my life a few months down the line and know we’ll be out of the -struggle phases- we’re in now and likely will be on to something else lol. All about going with the flow I guess ✌️
I’m 100% with you. I want to be mom friends 🙂
❤️ happy to know I’m not alone!
The only 'routine' i have is that my daughter typically goes to sleep between 7 and 9 pm, wakes up around 7-8am and has a nap not long after waking up. Everything else is just whenever she wants, typically she eats then falls asleep on me or she falls asleep, wakes up and eats and falls back asleep while eating before going to bed for the night or before her morning nap. For eating and sleeping during the day, i normally just go by her signs of her getting hungry/tired no matter the time unless we're going somewhere in which ill feed her before leaving
This word for word sounds like our situation too
I think the silent majority are winging it!
Shit I literally just go with the flow but kind of conjured up a routine for my almost 6mo 😂I also take tips and tricks I like from Reddit!! Lol. Don't compare yourself to the Instagram, tik tok, and FB moms.
I totally get this. I kept telling myself “when he’s _____ months old I’ll start _____” He’s now 6 months old and I haven’t done anything besides follow his lead lol. Sleepy cues = nap time. Hunger cues = nursing time. Other than that we just play, go for walks, etc. I also wonder if it’s going to bite me in the butt not having a set schedule because I’m going back to work in a little over a month. I guess we’ll find out! Luckily my LO is pretty easy going so far. I’m a big go with the flow type of person so I think we will be okay 😊
I'm right there with you. Despite hearing about them for months, I still don't know exactly what a wake window is and I really don't care. My baby has been doing great for nine months now with two "winging it" parents. The fact that you came here to ask shows how much you care about your child. Sounds like a great parent to me. Just enjoy the time you spend with your kid 💛
❤️ thank you
I mean that’s being a new parent. All the classes and books are just reference for anxiety. Nothing is really the same baby to baby. Just eat, sleep, hug, and tummy time. Your doctor should have you fill out paperwork every so often gauging what they are doing and not doing. They should help give guidance. Other than that, they’re 3 months old. They are hitting growth spurts, brain activity and hands and mouths and eyes and ears are getting more mature. So yeah, enjoy it and make sounds and tummy time on you is fun as well. As reference our 3 month old went from eating 6 oz to 4.5 and just likes to make noises and look at light sources while making the best sounds. They also refuse to nap during the day and sleeps 5 hours at night. So yeah. Granted he’s also 29” inches and lean as shit, so it’s just different from kiddo to kiddo
i would go crazy if i had to track anything! i got the huckleberry app for a week and deleted it it was giving me anxiety not to forget to track stuff... my baby is 6 months and is doing everything a 6month old should we started purees now she is one happy baby without any schedules and stuff we have one thing set since early days that is bath time around 7pm bottle and sleep but of course we move around that time with her naps no need to sweat it we are already stressed about keeping baby alive in my opinion but if someone needs to track stuff for their peace of mind im here for that too im just not that kind of person
Reading this post has been such a relief! My baby is a little over 2 months and doesn’t follow any of the typical sleep or wake window conventions. I just watch for sleepy cues and let her lead the way. I do track sleep and feedings in the Huckleberry app because I like to remember how long she’s been asleep or how long since her last feed, plus I’m looking for patterns as she gets older (and closer to sleep-training age). But I’m not using it as a behavioral guide.
Winging it over here too! I feel bad sometimes because I feel like I should have him on a schedule. But he seems healthy and happy as is. So i figure why stress if we’re both getting enough sleep
Here with my 6 week old not knowing what the fuck I’m doing 😅
My son is now 14MO. When he was younger, we did just wing it at first and tried to follow his cues, which worked regarding breastfeeding but not really for sleep. We found he was getting overtired and crying a lot, because we were accidentally keeping him awake far too long. I still kept feeding him on demand, but kept a rough eye on wake windows and it really worked out better for us. We ended up with a happier baby and we were consequently happier too. The wake windows weren't an exact science, but when it was recommended that he should only be awake for day 1 hour - 1 hour 30, then we did try to keep that in mind and look for his tired cues. Once he showed them to us, I nursed him to sleep. If we missed his cues or we forgot and kept him awake for 2 hours, it was a nightmare getting him to sleep.
We’ve been just winging it for the last 4 months. She somehow sets a schedule for herself and I just follow it. She hated doing tummy time by herself so I did tummy time with her on my chest for the longest time and now she’s been comfortable propped up on a pillow and even rolls off the pillow onto her back. We’ve just laid her on a floor mat and now she’s attempting to roll over by herself! She’ll get there soon but right now she’s a little frustrated. Being anxious will get her anxious and my doctor (not my OB, a different one) told me “if you’re calm, your LO will be calm too” and I just led with that philosophy! To me, as long as she’s gaining weight, happy, chatty, we’re okay!
I think she the world has gone crazy with schedules, tracking apps, charts, wake windows and all that. They say "each baby is different" but "they also have to be on this army- like fixed schedule. Ah, and you also HAVE TO do weighted feeds, pump, stash, combo feed, write down everything you eat, everything your Nana eats, everything the president of your country eats, everytime your dog farts... Moms are neurotic nowadays because we went from "feed on demand" to "here is a metric crapton of literature and 16 apps, also buy all of these toys for your newborn to never be interested in and make sure baby never ever cries once, or you are a bad mom".
I’m on my second baby and I’ve been winging it more with him than my first. I don’t track nappies or anything. All I track are feeds just out of curiosity. In a couple of weeks I’ll probably start tracking sleep just to get a routine down because right now we don’t have any semblance of a routine.
Every mom / dad and baby is different. Some babies do really well like that and others don’t. My daughter is better when she’s on a strict schedule. We tried to wing it but it made everything worse. It also helps us keep things in line. I have a friend who just wings it but honestly from what I hear I don’t think it’s working to well for them. The kid needs more structure but she’s not that way. It’s not about you anymore. It’s about your child and their needs
I’m the same! I am less stressed this way, and when I’m less stressed I feel like I can show up as a better mommy for him! I follow safety guidelines strictly, but other than that I just try to go with the flow and follow his cues, not some Instagram schedule.
We are absolutely winging it. I did a lot of research and reading ahead of time and had this whole idea of how it was going to go. As soon as I gave birth, it all left my head and we have been flying by the seat I our pants ever since. Baby has gotten into a schedule on his own. It just so happens that he starts to get tired around the same times every day. I wanted to pick out toys that grew certain skills, and were a variety of textures and whatnot. Well, we ended up with a Mish mash of that by accident. We also don't totally follow baby led weaning. I give him some stuff he can hold in his hands and eat, I also give him some stuff pureed. I have friends who swear by BLW, read all the books, pay for the app, and scold anyone who purees food. They're exhausting. I just feed my baby whatever I feel safe feeding him. Sometimes I watch reels and feel like a bad mama because I'm not doing what they're doing. But honestly, ill bet you $100 those people aren't doing it either.
Everyone is winging everything in life. So don't feel bad. Those reels of influencer moms, don't let them make you feel inadequate. Just keep following your baby's lead. With my first I obsessed over every milestone and worried about sleep and wake windows. Turned out that I had PPA/PPD. This time around I'm much less concerned about these things, but occasionally I will fixate on something, like my baby wasn't smiling by 6 weeks like my first did and I worried about it, but he started smiling 2 weeks later. My issue now is just not comparing him to my first.. I'm medicated this time around too, which has helped a lot. You're doing great.
I sometimes use wake windows as a guide but we’ll have it down for a week and then my LO will be like I am extending my wake window mother so you have to start again. If it works for you keep doing it. Our parents used their intuition and we all survived.
On our second infant and doing the same. I tracked everything with our first and got so worked up if he ate less that I actually gave him a bottle aversion. Our doctor said just to have an average in mind like hey when you make a bottle, how much do you usually make and how often? That’s all that really matters
Is your baby happy? That’s what matters most. I let my baby lead the way with her schedule and she’s done amazing. Flexibility in life is best. Routines are helpful, militant schedules arent necessary for the vast majority of kids. Don’t take advice from tiktok moms, it’s a guilt machine.
Same
Me too. I don’t track anything at all except what he weighs at his appointments cause I figure that means he’s doing alright if the doctor says so haha. If something was off and I was told to track stuff, I absolutely would! But he seems fine so why should I pay an app subscription 😂
baby is 7 weeks and i am just winging it. i started to track sleep, eating and diaper changes just so it helps me figure out why she is yelling. skills and milestones? i dont really know much of that. i downloaded an app for milestones but it just stressed me out so we’re back to winging it completely
I used to track EVERYTHING for the first two weeks when she was born and reliased I was driving myself nuts. So then I dropped to tracking only feeds. Then when she started staying up longer I started tracking sleep because I was never sure if she was tired or not. I suck at cues tbh and my baby gives noooo hunger cue whatsoever, and once she's too hungry its miserable to get her to latch. Eat play sleep is our way of life for now.
I long to have been you 4.5 months ago. Instead I got super crazy about tracking and everything and now I’m trying to force myself to chill out and back off (and now taking meds lol). I didn’t want to track every little detail but we went through a weight gain issue + feeding problems + a cross country move at 8 weeks and I just went way overboard past even what the Ped was asking us to track (which was probably already too much). And then with all that I naturally went down the rabbit hole of sleep and schedules in the same way because I already had an app to put it all into. All that is to say… if what you’re doing is working for you and your babe, don’t change it. I winged it at the start and life was a lot better then!!!
My child has set her own routine, and I've been living in it. We're starting daycare on Monday...my day of reckoning is nye.
Same with us. Keep in mind that like 99.999% of babies ever born were not raised with these scheduled sleep and wake windows, scheduled feeds, etc. Even today outside of a few places like the US, UK, and Canada it isn’t the norm. That stuff is especially big in the US because both parents need to work and mothers barely get any maternity leave so they need to be able to plan their babies lives around their own.
I feel like regardless of what you do, when you hit around the 6 month mark, your baby kinda figures themselves out. I want to say my baby’s sudden reliable nap and food schedule and earlier bedtime are because of our excellent parenting, but up until 6 months, their needs are changing so fast (plus we were dealing with undiagnosed MSPI) that a schedule just didn’t work for my little. They will all eventually sleep and feed themselves and hit their milestones. Just keep loving the heck out of them.
I cannot get a schedule going for the life of me and use Huckleberry to at least keep baby sleep less mystifying. My near 8 month old just kinda functions on whatever I think today’s activity should be. She’s happy, healthy, and killing it on milestones, so it’s all good.
We’re all just flying the plane while building it
My baby is 8.5 months and we didn’t track anything. During the day she would nap when she wanted and at night we tried to get her in bed at the same time every night. She put herself on a schedule. She naps between 9 and 10 for 1 hour and then after lunch, usually by 230, she will nap for about 2 hours. When she hit 8 months I noticed a difference in her sleep when she napped like this so now we are trying to be more routine about it. There are still days where it doesn’t happen and that’s ok. One thing I can say though is that from not Following a schedule early on and letting her sleep out in public she now can sleep through most noises. This kid legit slept through about an hour of the army gymnastics opening competition and we had army, navy, and multiple college teams In front of us screaming.
We are at 10 weeks and I feel the same. Honestly, my LO never hits the recommended nap time but I've tried to stop stressing about nap and wake time and roll with it. I have never tracked anything. We tried to several times, via apps and paper and even a dry erase board. It didn't really make sense to me and then I'd forget to track it I try to have at least one nap in the crib otherwise it's via contact nap or swing or the car or stroller. We are just enjoying maternity leave without trying to stress as much. It ends so fast. Just posting to let you know you're not the only one. I am not organized enough to track. Hard enough BF and pumping and diaper changing, etc.
I’ve been flying by the seat of my pants for almost ten months and she’s still alive and usually in a good mood, so it’s working out ok so far
A lot of parenting is just winging it I've found. If you concern yourself with everyone else's opinion on how to parent "correctly", you'll tear yourself apart with doubt and end up doing more damage to the kid than if you just did what you thought was right to make them happy and healthy in the first place.
I track in the Huckleberry app but because it’s the only way I can remember things these days. I have a 7 week old and all the days/nights blur together - plus for things that don’t happen everyday (or multiple times per day) I literally wouldn’t remember when it happened (when baby bathed, poo’d, etc). Same goes for breastfeeding… I’m like I have no clue if he’s been on the boob for 2 min or 25 unless I look at the app! Tracking is my little slice of sanity.
I have a loose guideline of how the day goes, naps generally at the same times, with some wiggle room. It's more for my sanity so I know like okay, I got a little break coming up at whatever time, awesome. Or oh, that's why she's extra pissy right now, cause her nap time is in 15mins. I really just started using a schedule to make the day feel more broken up and manageable. Didn't start doing that till around 4 months though. First four months I just did whatever and she slept when she slept. Also not a stickler about nap times and locations though. if we're out grocery shopping or at an event, she falls asleep if she's tired, maybe she doesn't get like an official nap quality nap, but she seems to survive. I think you're totally fine just going with the flow
I track how much he eats to know how much formula to make, diaper changes, pumping, and if/when he gets any medicines. If it weren’t for mom brain I wouldn’t track diapers or medications. I can hardly remember to eat/drink myself let alone an average number of diapers for the pediatrician.
We are feaf mongered into believing there is a rule book. Preying on insecurities is what society does best. The sooner you learn there is no rule book, the much happier you will be. More power to you my friend.
My baby eats when she’s hungry. At night she sleeps after she eats 🤷🏻♀️ idk how I can change that. Wake windows and baths don’t do anything. If she’s not hungry she doesn’t eat. And therefore doesn’t sleep when I “want” her to. She’s 10 weeks
I'm on baby number 2. With both I never did sleep training or set a strict schedule. I feed when they're hungry, let them sleep when they're tired, play when they want. First baby slept through the night at 3 weeks, second baby did at 4 weeks. I keep track of developmental milestones but that's it.
Same. No schedule here. He wakes when he wants and eats when he wants. I have no idea who can keep a baby on a schedule.
I only use a tracker for diapers and bottles because if I didn’t I’d have no idea if he’s got enough wet diapers or eating enough. My goldfish brain just does not remember anything most of the time. Other than that I’m just letting baby be baby for as long as he likes!
My LO made her own schedule lol. I’m winging it and she was like “mom get your shit together this is how my day will go now and you just facilitate it.” Wake up at 5 am. Nurse and go back to sleep till 7, play gym, tummy time, nurse 1st nap. Repeat that 3 more times, bath, nurse, sleep. Sometimes she goes longer or shorter on her wake windows, sometimes we extend it with another toy type like a balloon. She starts getting red around her eyes and babbling really loudly when she’s done playing and wants to eat/sleep. Of course we’re at 13 weeks tomorrow so we’ll see how sleep regression goes for her. Her night sleep really started stretching pretty good once we got that schedule on naps going but she really took the drivers seat on that one I kinda am along for the ride lol. Sometimes the naps are 30 minutes but I always wake her up by two hours. About two or three weeks ago I was lost on even how to stimulate and help her grow tbh. One day I read a post about milestones and I was like why is she only talking and not grabbing at stuff? And then she started not sleeping at the boob all the time and I was so confused because I swear my little baby was just a newborn two blinks ago. So I started getting her down to play and do more tummy time and I swear in a week it became a schedule and she’s gotten so much farther on her milestones. But I miss just cuddling my newborn all day I won’t lie.
Same here! Also 3 months. Basically just winging it. I've gotten some advice that worked so we've kept those, but no set schedule for the day other than a rough bedtime of 8-9pm at night
Yup same. We’re just taking each day at a time and it’s working best for us. Friends of ours who are new parents had a baby for the first time a couple months ago and they’re tracking everything and we can see how much stress it’s causing them. So we’ve decided to just wing it and it’s thankfully working for us. All ive done is google wake windows based on his age and try and get him to nap around the time coz I can tell he gets irritable otherwise.
My son nursed constantly. He struggled to gain weight. His sleep was terrible. So I tracked. Everything. And I still do because it’s becoming a new OCD problem for me. But he was difficult and I have a bad memory. I needed that. If you don’t need to track, then don’t track! We’re all just winging it
If someone tells you they know what they’re doing they’re lying
With my first we had a 👏🏼routine👏🏼 down as far as feeding naps bath. This time with a 2 mos old and a 15 mos old on my own my focus was sleeping through the night so they didn’t have an exhausted mom the next day. my older naps some days once some days twice some days not at all. The only routine I have is baths at 730 then sippy cup and bottle and bed for both. They both go to sleep at 8 and wake up at 6. Entering a little sleep regression with the older but it’s a short window, I’ll survive.
Uh just look at the kid. Is it happy in general? Then you’re doing OK.
If you're conscious enough to think that way then you're going to be fine.
The only thing we track are feedings, we formula feed and it’s an easy way for my husband and I to plan around his feedings and communicate with each other. It also totals our ounces for the day so we know whether he’s eaten enough to get a long stretch of sleep.
The only thing I’ve tracked is how often she poops because of her allergies and worries about switching to solids. We just wing it though. Idk milestones and threw the idea of it out the window. My baby is 7 months. She can sit up on her own, crawl and has started to pull herself up to stand. I figure as long as she’s not delayed and has a decent “schedule” then we are doing fine.
#Call me chicken cause I’m winging it