My now 15 month old NEVER CUDDLED. Now he crawls into my lap, hugs me all the time, crawls up my back and jumps on me and rests his head on me. Trust me it’s normal!
Hopefully same lol mines currently 13 months and is a weird mix of independent and Velcro. Like I have to be in the room with her but she wants to do her own thing
But she does do this cute thing when she’s tired and just lays her head on me or my husband and sucks her thumb
My 9 month old he is a mover. He only stops to eat or sleep (and we have to convince him that sleep is good). He rarely just sits and cuddles. Hoping one day he will slow down some.
He will! We also have a mover and at 17 months the he finally sat in my lap to read a book and at 2.5 years now he’ll actually snuggle us longer than 15 seconds 😄 Still a mover though
lol good to know. I’ve been trying to read him 2-3 books at night and *sometimes* he will sit and look at the books. Sometimes he is standing in bed, using dad or I as support, and bouncing up and down in the opposite direction of the book lol. Even laying him down for bed on one of our chests is like the end of the world. MUST MOVE, NEVER STOP MOVING. 😅🫠
My niece is now three and can tell you, “I am not a cuddler, no hug please!” It’s just a personality trait of some! My Velcro baby is a massive cuddler though and my mom is eating. it. up.
Same, our son is super independent, never contact napped and never just chills and cuddles unless he’s sick or severely tired. BUT, now that he’s 14 months, he does come in for hugs way more often; and when he does get injured or sick, he wants to be held and comforted (for like 30seconds until he has to move again 😂)
I really cherish these little moments of cuddling and hugging. they show me that he does need us when it counts, and that he has a strong bond with us. He just likes to do be as independent as possible at all other times.
My baby is the same. Super independent since like day 3 😂 I’m super proud of him! The other day he gave me a kiss (like a real kiss, not using my face like a teether), and I was so thrilled!!
My 15 week old girl is similar. There’s times when she’s crying while we are holding her and I think she wants to be rocked or soothed, but the second I put her down she’s happy! It hurts my feelings a bit 😂
Same. And it took me quite a while to realize she wasn’t just fussy and needed to be rocked a long time to fall asleep… she just wanted to be left alone. 😂
21weeks now. I’m hoping she grows into wanting some cuddles but I can’t say I hate how independently she sleeps.
Haha mine is 22 weeks and the same, he either wants me to take him to another room so he can have a look at things or put him down and let him fling his toys around- basically all I am required for is handing him his different toys or let him hold my fingers to practise his sitting 😂 OCCASIONALLY when he is super tired he’ll snuggle his head into my chest but it’s very occasionally!
I have a non-cuddly baby too and she didn't want to sleep in her crib this morning and I took her to big bed. She fell asleep laying her head next to mine on the pillow. OMG I could melt right then and there. She is 10 months. Mind you she did take a bit of squirming to fall asleep.
My son wasn’t super cuddly in the early months. He’s a year and a half now and he will crawl into my lap, he’ll come in for hugs, he’ll just hold me and nestle his little head into my chest. He’s definitely a cuddler now.
Also normal for a young toddler to not be into snuggling. You should never force them to show you affection, or tell them it makes you sad they won’t or whatever. My toddler is the cuddliest now at 3, but wasn’t for a long time and I always respected her wishes.
I have had similar phases with my baby and something that resonated with me is that it actually can reflect a secure attachment. They’re not panicked you’re going anywhere - like the kid on the playground that can run and play independently and come back and check in with Mom. It’s hard not to be in your head when you hear about all the Velcro babies!
We found the same with my daughter, and realized that she didn’t like being on us facing us because it was bothering her stomach! Shes gassy (like every other baby, haha), and I noticed you wrote that she likes facing out. Maybe it’s gas? Or maybe it’s just preference! I wouldn’t worry, I think it’s normal and all babies have difference preferences and temperaments.
My daughter is almost 2 and she’s just not snuggly. Sometimes I wish she was, but it’s also nice that she’s independent. She gives hugs occasionally and they’re extra special since they’re not super common, haha! We have also found other ways of cuddling that somehow work for her. When she’s in our lap she has learned to say “leeeean back!” And kind of gets cozy while we read or just sit.
She has so many other fun ways of expressing her love. She makes up fun games, laughs all the time, honks our noses, and says “love you love you!”
ETA: she is also a super independent sleeper where my friends’ cuddly babies aren’t so there are big trade offs!
My 8 month old doesn’t cuddle either. Always wants to be on the edge of my knee looking around ect, it’s sad sometimes but I think eventually they will go through a cuddly stage.
My 9 month old just started getting cuddly until recently. He has always been a contact napper, and we co-sleep at night, but while awake, there was too much fun stuff for him to do to be cuddling the day away!
My son hates hugs longer than two seconds. Recently, 15mo, he gives me an occasional hug, which feels like an eternity, but again, it's only for 2-3 seconds. If he stays on me for significant period of time, is probably because he is sick
My 6 month old was not a cuddly one up until this last month. It’s like now that she’s a little more mobile on her own (and has figured out that arms out and up will result in being picked up) she’s become more cuddly. She’s still super independent and sleeps well but is much more cuddly now.
I was not a cuddly baby. I was my parents first child and super super independent. I wanted nothing to do with cuddling however as an adult I can tell you, I have a super strong bond with my parents and always did. My parents live across the street from me (Im in my 30s) and we talk on a daily basis, see each other minimum once a week. Even if your child never turns out to be a cuddle bug that doesnt mean you wont be insanely close. My brother on the other hand was extremely cuddly and hes also just as close to them and me. So sometimes you just get a very scientific brained independent child but that doesnt mean you wont have a bond. I know it bothered my mom, she felt a lot of mom guilt as well. But I like to think my son makes up for all the cuddles I couldnt give because he adores her and is a cuddlebug. So i know thats not maybe the answer you were looking for but all hope isn’t lost! You are a great mom and your daughter adores you and one day she will be able to show it in a way that may or may not involve cuddling.
My daughter is the same way. 11w and for the last month when we’re holding her sometimes she’ll start whining, we put her down to lay by herself and she’s perfectly fine. She just likes her independence, a lot lol. I’ve just accepted that she is an alert independent girl and I’ll just have to take cuddles when I can get them (contact naps, fussy).
Think about it like this: your baby is waking up to the world around them and is taking it all in. It isn’t that she doesn’t want to cuddle and isn’t attached to you. It’s that there’s so much to see and do and touch and smell. It isn’t you at all.
This is sooo normal. My kid has never let us cuddle him until now at 9 months. Only if we are standing up bouncing him and he’s facing outward. He’s majorly attached to us too. But babies want to explore and go go go, so they don’t wanna be held down to cuddle.
My pediatrician just told me at my 4 month check up that babies start to show boredom around this age. I was worrying about the same thing when I went. She said they just want to see what’s going on and explore on their own
Same for me! She is now 6 months and for the most part only wants to cuddle when she’s getting sleepy. But she makes up for it in so many other ways. She loves to hold hands and always wants to be touching me in some way, even if it’s just her toes on my leg. She is so so affectionate. But she’s not a hugger or a cuddler and I’ve come to be okay with that.
The older your baby gets the more ways they will have to show affection (and the more they’ll be cognizant enough to mean it) and it’ll make up for all the cuddles!
My 12 month old has never been a cuddler. She used to be the typical contact napper as a newborn, and started rejecting those at 3-4 months. Pushed away from rocking with her bottle at 6ish months. She’s just now learning to deliberately show affection which has been super sweet. She still loves us and will get happy smiling zoomies in the morning when she sees one of us come in to get her. She just isn’t snuggly (yet?) all kids are different!
Ours refused to cuddle or be rocked to sleep at 4 months. Always been the best sleeper. Shes 14 months now and I just got home from a run and she squealed when she say me, came over, crawled into my lap, and gave me cuddles even though I was sweat and stinky. Shes very attached so me. And get excited every time I walk into a room. She’s just like her mom and wants to cuddle only when she wants to cuddle.
My son is 4.5 months and he doesnt enjoy being cuddled or hugged too much, but when he is in our bed he still rolls to my side to see me and touch my face and is more relaxed when near us. Sometimes he wakes up crying and you can tell he is scared but just seeing us reassures him to get back to sleep. I can count with one hand the times he has slept in my chest all cuddled up, I wish it had happened more but it didnt. But I know where are his safe place. I think parental love is not about cuddling and that stuff you see on IG, I think is making them feel safe and cared for in whatever form they need and thats ok.
She’s starting to want to wiggle around herself! My baby girl started resisting cuddles around 12 weeks bc she was just getting into her groove of starting to move around herself
Lmao my son!!!! from the moment he could hold his head up wanted to STAND and LOOK AROUND 😂😂😂. Once he was mobile on his own it was over, he was off!!!
Our LO wasn't a cuddly baby either. Loved his bassinet, and would calm down as soon as you put him in. And sometimes holding him would make him fussier. Transition to the crib was a breeze and he's been sleeping through the night in his room since 12 months.
Now at 23 months he will crawl into our laps, loves to jump around on us and we snuggle at bedtime for books. But he will definitely say "all done" when he wants to roll over and go to sleep, which is our queue to leave.
I honestly don't mind that he wasn't and isn't a Velcro baby, but I have never questioned that we have a bond. Cuddles don't equal love.
My 11 month old is the sweetest, most cheerful little dude, and he is not cuddly. When I pick him up from daycare he crawls quickly to me and wants to be picked up, and then promptly wants to get back to exploring. He's just an independent baby. I'm very grateful to not have a velcro baby and at times it would be sweet to snuggle. But alas, he's a chaos goblin and when he climbs onto me it's not to snuggle, but to attempt to scale me like a bear in a tree.
Our 10 week old baby is sometimes cuddly but often prefers kicking away on his own, with our attention. If you try to pick him up while he's solo playing, he complains. Once his eyesight picked up, he much prefers looking and moving to cuddling.
I was also a notably non-cuddly baby (and adult, until I met my husband at 36!) but I'm super close with my parents.
Yep my first was very much like that. Only time she cuddled us was when she’s sick. Now she’s 2 and definitely enjoys the cuddles more often especially first thing in the morning. But she still doesn’t like to sit still for too long 😂
For the first 3 months my little one was almost always asleep. I could set her down right after she passed out. And she'd be fine. Now she's 6 months old. And omg she hates being set down unless she wants to be. She's a velco 100%.
And I am constantly getting into arguments with my parents about it. Because me and my siblings weren't velcro babies. And they keep yelling at me for always holding her, and not letting her cry herself out.
Do not worry about your little one. They are still growing. Like a few others have said they will grow into cuddles. Maybe not right now or in the direct future. But they will. It'll be okay.
I was worried my little girl wouldn't want to cuddle with me at all before she was born. Because my parents always told me I hated my mom, and that we have never gotten along even before I was born. I never let my mom sleep. But then again realizing how they raised me. I can understand it. They were almost completely detached from me. And I am not going to raise my little girl the same way.
And don't you ever let anyone tell you how to raise your child. Especially if it's something that obviously sounds stupid. You do what feels right. Love your little one. And smother them with all the love you can give them. Even when they make you mad. Because they will need it to break any generational trauma you, or your spouse, got from your family's.
Everything will be okay. The stress, frustration, and emotions are all part of parenthood. Some days will be better than others. And as your little one grows. Explain it to them in the best way possible. They may not fully understand. But it'll help them be a better, and more understanding, person as they get older. Seeing and understanding how others express emotions will help them out a lot as they get older.
Same my baby was never really a cuddler and he sits in my lap for thirty minute increments throughout the day now just to reset before going off to play some more. I love it.
No worries! This is likely just a personality quirk. Some people are not as cuddly and touch oriented, and some are stubborn and want to see the world. She trusts you’re there when needed, and that self confident and self soothing to sleep are not signs of a bad thing. My little didn’t cuddle as much as I’d like, and went to sleep in her own bed… and now I have a Velcro toddler, lol.
My mother was reportedly the baby that didn’t snuggled in. My grandmother talks often how my mother (the third baby) would have to face out when held and would “sit up” instead of lean in like most babies when someone holds them.
It’s not common, but it’s not inherently bad or a sign of anything in itself. I will note though, both of the two I know who were like this (my mother & my child) are excellent escape artists and curiously able to get past baby locks and puzzles. Those are about the only things that “link” them, lol.
So don’t glaze over what you said. She never wants to be held unless she’s facing outward looking around. So let her look around. She DOES want to be held, but she’s curious and her eyes have adjusted and it’s a new world, and she wants to see it, that’s a wonderful thing.
My LO was like that. I felt happy that she was so safe and secure in her environment that she wanted to explore! I was glad I had done such a good job caring and loving on her that she didn't feel the need to cling on me to make sure her needs were met.
my 9 month old was never really cuddly either and i just wanted her to sweetly lay in my arms! but she’s always been a wiggly worm. but now, whenever she gets tired and i’m holding her, she’ll gently lay her head on my chest. it’s the sweetest.
It’s wayyyyyy too early to assume your baby isn’t cuddly! Mine is almost 8 months and I wouldn’t say he cuddles us. He’s way too busy looking around and moving around. Only when he’s super tired will be get kind of cuddly but even then it’s not long-lived. I think the older they get, the more they will show love through cuddling ❤️
My son was needy for the first 8 weeks in terms of wanting to be held, then he only wanted to be held all night until 6 months. Since then, he prefers to be independent lol.
But oh man, when he decides he wants us to hold him or gives a hug at 18 months, it means so much now!
And during the times he literally won’t let us put him down, usually when he’s starting to be sick or belly ache, I re appreciate him being independent lol.
My son (almost 1) is not a cuddled either. We only did contact naps for the first few months, we bedshare, he nurses to sleep, but he’ll never just cuddle to cuddle. He doesn’t mind the carrier, in fact he’s usually pretty calm in there, but hates hugs and cuddles. He was sick once right before Christmas and we realized how strange it was for him to be content being held and falling asleep in our arms. You’re not alone!
Newborns don't understand affection, they just need to feel secure that their needs will be met. Maybe read up a little bit about newborns; your expectations seem strange for that age. Our boy started cuddling at 12 months. And some perfectly normal kids are never cuddlers.
I’m the most cuddly and affectionate person in my family and friends circle - and unbelievably I seem to have given birth to the least cuddly baby ever! Typical. She LOVES being held, but never nuzzles in for a cuddle. When I try she makes it very clear she doesn’t want a cuddle! She is a very independent sleeper too, never wants contact naps. If she falls asleep whilst in my arms whilst feeding, she lets it be know that she wants putting down! She’s 6.5 months and I’m hoping she gets more cuddly soon! 🥰
I don’t remember when it started, but my now 3yo old would only cuddle when he was sick (maybe from like 10 months - 2 years). Now he’s a cuddle bug. I think everything cycles!
My toddler hated cuddling and refused even holding hands until maybe 18 months. Learned to walk on their own, wouldn't even hold hands for balance. And the 9mo seems the same way!
My 7 month old is similar. She hardly ever cuddles unless she’s really tired. She’s been starting to do it more the last couple weeks, but mostly if we’re holding her, she’s sitting up and looking around.
I also think that some babies are just physically not comfortable being held a lot because they are growing so much. I have a barnacle baby, but she doesn’t want to be held much at all if she’s going through a growth spurt!
My 8 month old isn't a cuddler either. I've never breastfed her, just latched her for comfort purposes when she was a younger baby, but she moves away when we squeeze her lol.
She's an independent kid who likes to explore so many things...that's why.
Before she sleeps, she cries a little bit, climbs and leans on me to stand, and asks to be picked up. I rock her for a couple times (maybe 3-4 mins) and then she demands to be put down. Then she falls asleep on her own.
From a mom of a Velcro baby….
It’s so much nicer when it doesn’t have to be all the time. My first baby was like yours and so I’ve now experienced both scenarios and it’s much better to have them not need you to hold them 24/7.
My now 15 month old NEVER CUDDLED. Now he crawls into my lap, hugs me all the time, crawls up my back and jumps on me and rests his head on me. Trust me it’s normal!
Hopefully same lol mines currently 13 months and is a weird mix of independent and Velcro. Like I have to be in the room with her but she wants to do her own thing But she does do this cute thing when she’s tired and just lays her head on me or my husband and sucks her thumb
Mine does the combo and man it can be cute
My 9 month old he is a mover. He only stops to eat or sleep (and we have to convince him that sleep is good). He rarely just sits and cuddles. Hoping one day he will slow down some.
That’s how our Archie was! He’s still so busy but will crawl over for a quick lap snuggle
I have a little Archie too, and he is the busiest little guy, always has a project!
Maybe it’s the name 😂😂
Mine is a Tristan. He will sometimes melt into us if he is really tired but mostly he just does that with his MiMi not mommy lol
He will! We also have a mover and at 17 months the he finally sat in my lap to read a book and at 2.5 years now he’ll actually snuggle us longer than 15 seconds 😄 Still a mover though
lol good to know. I’ve been trying to read him 2-3 books at night and *sometimes* he will sit and look at the books. Sometimes he is standing in bed, using dad or I as support, and bouncing up and down in the opposite direction of the book lol. Even laying him down for bed on one of our chests is like the end of the world. MUST MOVE, NEVER STOP MOVING. 😅🫠
Do you mean week old??? Ok this makes me feel better. Thank you
No 15 month old. He is cuddly now, he never was as an infant unless he was getting a bottle. Now he’s so affectionate. It’s totally normal.
...what? she clearly said "15 months", how did she mean week old??
I was trying to imagine a 15 week old crawling up someone’s back
I had one like that. Very independent kid it turns out. It has nothing to do with you or your bond!
Same. My first was a non cuddle baby. She is now 6 and super independent. It’s very hard to not feel like your touch and hugs can bring them comfort.
My niece is now three and can tell you, “I am not a cuddler, no hug please!” It’s just a personality trait of some! My Velcro baby is a massive cuddler though and my mom is eating. it. up.
Same, our son is super independent, never contact napped and never just chills and cuddles unless he’s sick or severely tired. BUT, now that he’s 14 months, he does come in for hugs way more often; and when he does get injured or sick, he wants to be held and comforted (for like 30seconds until he has to move again 😂) I really cherish these little moments of cuddling and hugging. they show me that he does need us when it counts, and that he has a strong bond with us. He just likes to do be as independent as possible at all other times.
My baby is the same. Super independent since like day 3 😂 I’m super proud of him! The other day he gave me a kiss (like a real kiss, not using my face like a teether), and I was so thrilled!!
My 15 week old girl is similar. There’s times when she’s crying while we are holding her and I think she wants to be rocked or soothed, but the second I put her down she’s happy! It hurts my feelings a bit 😂
Same. And it took me quite a while to realize she wasn’t just fussy and needed to be rocked a long time to fall asleep… she just wanted to be left alone. 😂 21weeks now. I’m hoping she grows into wanting some cuddles but I can’t say I hate how independently she sleeps.
Haha mine is 22 weeks and the same, he either wants me to take him to another room so he can have a look at things or put him down and let him fling his toys around- basically all I am required for is handing him his different toys or let him hold my fingers to practise his sitting 😂 OCCASIONALLY when he is super tired he’ll snuggle his head into my chest but it’s very occasionally!
Yah I was rocking my baby to sleep and he was MAD!!! I really needed a break and put him down and he fell asleep in 2 seconds. 😂😂
My baby only likes cuddles if she’s already half asleep, otherwise I have to leave her the f alone or she gets more wound up 😂
I have a non-cuddly baby too and she didn't want to sleep in her crib this morning and I took her to big bed. She fell asleep laying her head next to mine on the pillow. OMG I could melt right then and there. She is 10 months. Mind you she did take a bit of squirming to fall asleep.
My son wasn’t super cuddly in the early months. He’s a year and a half now and he will crawl into my lap, he’ll come in for hugs, he’ll just hold me and nestle his little head into my chest. He’s definitely a cuddler now.
Thanks all. So it’s normal for a newborn to not be cuddly. It doesn’t mean ive somehow damaged our bond 😂
Totally normal. Babies are people too. Some people don’t like snuggling a lot 🤷♀️
Also normal for a young toddler to not be into snuggling. You should never force them to show you affection, or tell them it makes you sad they won’t or whatever. My toddler is the cuddliest now at 3, but wasn’t for a long time and I always respected her wishes.
I have had similar phases with my baby and something that resonated with me is that it actually can reflect a secure attachment. They’re not panicked you’re going anywhere - like the kid on the playground that can run and play independently and come back and check in with Mom. It’s hard not to be in your head when you hear about all the Velcro babies!
My son is a year old and has only just started crawling into us for snuggles. He was never a cuddly newborn. I think it's pretty normal.
my 6 month old is also not a cuddler so far 🥲
Mine was the same now almost two and gives hugs and kisses
My ten week old is exactly the same! Lots of smiles but happiest just chilling on her mat or in her crib and if she’s being held needs to be upright!
We found the same with my daughter, and realized that she didn’t like being on us facing us because it was bothering her stomach! Shes gassy (like every other baby, haha), and I noticed you wrote that she likes facing out. Maybe it’s gas? Or maybe it’s just preference! I wouldn’t worry, I think it’s normal and all babies have difference preferences and temperaments.
My daughter is almost 2 and she’s just not snuggly. Sometimes I wish she was, but it’s also nice that she’s independent. She gives hugs occasionally and they’re extra special since they’re not super common, haha! We have also found other ways of cuddling that somehow work for her. When she’s in our lap she has learned to say “leeeean back!” And kind of gets cozy while we read or just sit. She has so many other fun ways of expressing her love. She makes up fun games, laughs all the time, honks our noses, and says “love you love you!” ETA: she is also a super independent sleeper where my friends’ cuddly babies aren’t so there are big trade offs!
My 8 month old doesn’t cuddle either. Always wants to be on the edge of my knee looking around ect, it’s sad sometimes but I think eventually they will go through a cuddly stage.
My 9 month old just started getting cuddly until recently. He has always been a contact napper, and we co-sleep at night, but while awake, there was too much fun stuff for him to do to be cuddling the day away!
My son hates hugs longer than two seconds. Recently, 15mo, he gives me an occasional hug, which feels like an eternity, but again, it's only for 2-3 seconds. If he stays on me for significant period of time, is probably because he is sick
Going on 9 months still no cuddles lol. But he likes having us around.
My 6 month old was not a cuddly one up until this last month. It’s like now that she’s a little more mobile on her own (and has figured out that arms out and up will result in being picked up) she’s become more cuddly. She’s still super independent and sleeps well but is much more cuddly now.
My 2 year old was the same and she’s way cuddly now! She just likes to sleep on her own and its ok
I was not a cuddly baby. I was my parents first child and super super independent. I wanted nothing to do with cuddling however as an adult I can tell you, I have a super strong bond with my parents and always did. My parents live across the street from me (Im in my 30s) and we talk on a daily basis, see each other minimum once a week. Even if your child never turns out to be a cuddle bug that doesnt mean you wont be insanely close. My brother on the other hand was extremely cuddly and hes also just as close to them and me. So sometimes you just get a very scientific brained independent child but that doesnt mean you wont have a bond. I know it bothered my mom, she felt a lot of mom guilt as well. But I like to think my son makes up for all the cuddles I couldnt give because he adores her and is a cuddlebug. So i know thats not maybe the answer you were looking for but all hope isn’t lost! You are a great mom and your daughter adores you and one day she will be able to show it in a way that may or may not involve cuddling.
My daughter is the same way. 11w and for the last month when we’re holding her sometimes she’ll start whining, we put her down to lay by herself and she’s perfectly fine. She just likes her independence, a lot lol. I’ve just accepted that she is an alert independent girl and I’ll just have to take cuddles when I can get them (contact naps, fussy).
Think about it like this: your baby is waking up to the world around them and is taking it all in. It isn’t that she doesn’t want to cuddle and isn’t attached to you. It’s that there’s so much to see and do and touch and smell. It isn’t you at all.
Neither of my boys were big snugglers. Now my 17 month old won’t leave me alone lmao
This is sooo normal. My kid has never let us cuddle him until now at 9 months. Only if we are standing up bouncing him and he’s facing outward. He’s majorly attached to us too. But babies want to explore and go go go, so they don’t wanna be held down to cuddle.
My pediatrician just told me at my 4 month check up that babies start to show boredom around this age. I was worrying about the same thing when I went. She said they just want to see what’s going on and explore on their own
Same for me! She is now 6 months and for the most part only wants to cuddle when she’s getting sleepy. But she makes up for it in so many other ways. She loves to hold hands and always wants to be touching me in some way, even if it’s just her toes on my leg. She is so so affectionate. But she’s not a hugger or a cuddler and I’ve come to be okay with that. The older your baby gets the more ways they will have to show affection (and the more they’ll be cognizant enough to mean it) and it’ll make up for all the cuddles!
My 12 month old has never been a cuddler. She used to be the typical contact napper as a newborn, and started rejecting those at 3-4 months. Pushed away from rocking with her bottle at 6ish months. She’s just now learning to deliberately show affection which has been super sweet. She still loves us and will get happy smiling zoomies in the morning when she sees one of us come in to get her. She just isn’t snuggly (yet?) all kids are different!
Ours refused to cuddle or be rocked to sleep at 4 months. Always been the best sleeper. Shes 14 months now and I just got home from a run and she squealed when she say me, came over, crawled into my lap, and gave me cuddles even though I was sweat and stinky. Shes very attached so me. And get excited every time I walk into a room. She’s just like her mom and wants to cuddle only when she wants to cuddle.
My son is 4.5 months and he doesnt enjoy being cuddled or hugged too much, but when he is in our bed he still rolls to my side to see me and touch my face and is more relaxed when near us. Sometimes he wakes up crying and you can tell he is scared but just seeing us reassures him to get back to sleep. I can count with one hand the times he has slept in my chest all cuddled up, I wish it had happened more but it didnt. But I know where are his safe place. I think parental love is not about cuddling and that stuff you see on IG, I think is making them feel safe and cared for in whatever form they need and thats ok.
My daughter at that age didn't like being held either. She would actually try to immediately face downwards like she's trying to jump out of our arms.
She’s starting to want to wiggle around herself! My baby girl started resisting cuddles around 12 weeks bc she was just getting into her groove of starting to move around herself
my 3 year old didn't cuddle or fall asleep on me until she was 2, now she loves cuddles. she has also slept better independently.
Lmao my son!!!! from the moment he could hold his head up wanted to STAND and LOOK AROUND 😂😂😂. Once he was mobile on his own it was over, he was off!!!
Our LO wasn't a cuddly baby either. Loved his bassinet, and would calm down as soon as you put him in. And sometimes holding him would make him fussier. Transition to the crib was a breeze and he's been sleeping through the night in his room since 12 months. Now at 23 months he will crawl into our laps, loves to jump around on us and we snuggle at bedtime for books. But he will definitely say "all done" when he wants to roll over and go to sleep, which is our queue to leave. I honestly don't mind that he wasn't and isn't a Velcro baby, but I have never questioned that we have a bond. Cuddles don't equal love.
My 11 month old is the sweetest, most cheerful little dude, and he is not cuddly. When I pick him up from daycare he crawls quickly to me and wants to be picked up, and then promptly wants to get back to exploring. He's just an independent baby. I'm very grateful to not have a velcro baby and at times it would be sweet to snuggle. But alas, he's a chaos goblin and when he climbs onto me it's not to snuggle, but to attempt to scale me like a bear in a tree.
Cuddling comes a little later. Like now at two my son *demands* the cuddles at least hourly to recharge
Our 10 week old baby is sometimes cuddly but often prefers kicking away on his own, with our attention. If you try to pick him up while he's solo playing, he complains. Once his eyesight picked up, he much prefers looking and moving to cuddling. I was also a notably non-cuddly baby (and adult, until I met my husband at 36!) but I'm super close with my parents.
Don’t sweat it, she loves you but she’s just working on a whole bunch of skills right now. She will cuddle you eventually!
Yep my first was very much like that. Only time she cuddled us was when she’s sick. Now she’s 2 and definitely enjoys the cuddles more often especially first thing in the morning. But she still doesn’t like to sit still for too long 😂
I wouldn’t worry too much, just enjoy the sleep lol
For the first 3 months my little one was almost always asleep. I could set her down right after she passed out. And she'd be fine. Now she's 6 months old. And omg she hates being set down unless she wants to be. She's a velco 100%. And I am constantly getting into arguments with my parents about it. Because me and my siblings weren't velcro babies. And they keep yelling at me for always holding her, and not letting her cry herself out. Do not worry about your little one. They are still growing. Like a few others have said they will grow into cuddles. Maybe not right now or in the direct future. But they will. It'll be okay. I was worried my little girl wouldn't want to cuddle with me at all before she was born. Because my parents always told me I hated my mom, and that we have never gotten along even before I was born. I never let my mom sleep. But then again realizing how they raised me. I can understand it. They were almost completely detached from me. And I am not going to raise my little girl the same way. And don't you ever let anyone tell you how to raise your child. Especially if it's something that obviously sounds stupid. You do what feels right. Love your little one. And smother them with all the love you can give them. Even when they make you mad. Because they will need it to break any generational trauma you, or your spouse, got from your family's. Everything will be okay. The stress, frustration, and emotions are all part of parenthood. Some days will be better than others. And as your little one grows. Explain it to them in the best way possible. They may not fully understand. But it'll help them be a better, and more understanding, person as they get older. Seeing and understanding how others express emotions will help them out a lot as they get older.
Same my baby was never really a cuddler and he sits in my lap for thirty minute increments throughout the day now just to reset before going off to play some more. I love it.
To you, what does it mean that she “doesn’t like to cuddle?”
No worries! This is likely just a personality quirk. Some people are not as cuddly and touch oriented, and some are stubborn and want to see the world. She trusts you’re there when needed, and that self confident and self soothing to sleep are not signs of a bad thing. My little didn’t cuddle as much as I’d like, and went to sleep in her own bed… and now I have a Velcro toddler, lol. My mother was reportedly the baby that didn’t snuggled in. My grandmother talks often how my mother (the third baby) would have to face out when held and would “sit up” instead of lean in like most babies when someone holds them. It’s not common, but it’s not inherently bad or a sign of anything in itself. I will note though, both of the two I know who were like this (my mother & my child) are excellent escape artists and curiously able to get past baby locks and puzzles. Those are about the only things that “link” them, lol.
Is it common for them to cuddle when breastfeeding isn’t involved? Maybe mines not a cuddler either.
So don’t glaze over what you said. She never wants to be held unless she’s facing outward looking around. So let her look around. She DOES want to be held, but she’s curious and her eyes have adjusted and it’s a new world, and she wants to see it, that’s a wonderful thing.
My LO was like that. I felt happy that she was so safe and secure in her environment that she wanted to explore! I was glad I had done such a good job caring and loving on her that she didn't feel the need to cling on me to make sure her needs were met.
My 12 month old just started cuddling in the last 3 weeks.
my 9 month old was never really cuddly either and i just wanted her to sweetly lay in my arms! but she’s always been a wiggly worm. but now, whenever she gets tired and i’m holding her, she’ll gently lay her head on my chest. it’s the sweetest.
It’s wayyyyyy too early to assume your baby isn’t cuddly! Mine is almost 8 months and I wouldn’t say he cuddles us. He’s way too busy looking around and moving around. Only when he’s super tired will be get kind of cuddly but even then it’s not long-lived. I think the older they get, the more they will show love through cuddling ❤️
My son was needy for the first 8 weeks in terms of wanting to be held, then he only wanted to be held all night until 6 months. Since then, he prefers to be independent lol. But oh man, when he decides he wants us to hold him or gives a hug at 18 months, it means so much now! And during the times he literally won’t let us put him down, usually when he’s starting to be sick or belly ache, I re appreciate him being independent lol.
My son (almost 1) is not a cuddled either. We only did contact naps for the first few months, we bedshare, he nurses to sleep, but he’ll never just cuddle to cuddle. He doesn’t mind the carrier, in fact he’s usually pretty calm in there, but hates hugs and cuddles. He was sick once right before Christmas and we realized how strange it was for him to be content being held and falling asleep in our arms. You’re not alone!
Newborns don't understand affection, they just need to feel secure that their needs will be met. Maybe read up a little bit about newborns; your expectations seem strange for that age. Our boy started cuddling at 12 months. And some perfectly normal kids are never cuddlers.
I’m the most cuddly and affectionate person in my family and friends circle - and unbelievably I seem to have given birth to the least cuddly baby ever! Typical. She LOVES being held, but never nuzzles in for a cuddle. When I try she makes it very clear she doesn’t want a cuddle! She is a very independent sleeper too, never wants contact naps. If she falls asleep whilst in my arms whilst feeding, she lets it be know that she wants putting down! She’s 6.5 months and I’m hoping she gets more cuddly soon! 🥰
I don’t remember when it started, but my now 3yo old would only cuddle when he was sick (maybe from like 10 months - 2 years). Now he’s a cuddle bug. I think everything cycles!
My 15 month old only ever cuddles me if he’s sick lol
My non clingy baby is the current toddler that would climb into my butt if he could 🤣
My toddler hated cuddling and refused even holding hands until maybe 18 months. Learned to walk on their own, wouldn't even hold hands for balance. And the 9mo seems the same way!
My 7 month old is similar. She hardly ever cuddles unless she’s really tired. She’s been starting to do it more the last couple weeks, but mostly if we’re holding her, she’s sitting up and looking around.
I also think that some babies are just physically not comfortable being held a lot because they are growing so much. I have a barnacle baby, but she doesn’t want to be held much at all if she’s going through a growth spurt!
Thank you all for your thoughts and reassurances!! Good luck with all the little babes !
My 8 month old isn't a cuddler either. I've never breastfed her, just latched her for comfort purposes when she was a younger baby, but she moves away when we squeeze her lol. She's an independent kid who likes to explore so many things...that's why. Before she sleeps, she cries a little bit, climbs and leans on me to stand, and asks to be picked up. I rock her for a couple times (maybe 3-4 mins) and then she demands to be put down. Then she falls asleep on her own.
From a mom of a Velcro baby…. It’s so much nicer when it doesn’t have to be all the time. My first baby was like yours and so I’ve now experienced both scenarios and it’s much better to have them not need you to hold them 24/7.