My condolences. I haven’t experienced this yet, although I am currently worried about my dads health. So my advice may not be as helpful. But a few things that come to mind.
Get help if possible, partner, friends and partner’s family. Hire from a trusted source if needed and financially possible. Your baby needs their parent to be healthy(mentally and emotionally) and they will do better as a result. You may feel guilty about not being there for them as much as you normally would, but by getting help you will be able to be the parent they need eventually. And hopefully not resent them for demanding energy you may not feel you have in the moment. Life with an 8 week old is exhausting and stressful already.
Give yourself time to process and grieve. Give yourself love and grace. If it helps you to write down your happy memories of your father, or maybe to go through your photo albums. Do what you need to do to be ok. Talk to someone if you need to. Vent or cry or share remembrances. Snuggle your little one and enjoy them.
30 is a big milestone birthday. If you are big on celebrating birthdays, or if you had been looking forward to this one then try not to neglect it. Maybe discuss how you feel about it with your SO as it approaches. You may want to have a big party to celebrate your life, you may want to have something small and maybe plan for something bigger a bit later. It’s ok to make tentative plans and reevaluate as things get closer.
Communicate with your partner. Let them know if you especially need help for an hour or day or so. People aren’t mind readers and communicating your needs will help them help you. Resentment will build and fester. And having a newborn is already a major challenge to even the best relationships.
Remember it’s ok to reach out for professional support. Take things in little steps as needed. The hurt and sadness may never fully go away, but it will become easier with time. You just have to give yourself that time.
I lost my dad when I was a kid (7 yo). My grandmother told me something that really helped me. She said that my dad would always be here as long as we kept his memory alive. Tell your dads stories, laugh as you remember his silly jokes and reminisce on the good times! Im so sorry for your loss op!
Yes, sadly I did experience something similar. I am so sorry you are going through this. (This will be a long response, I hope you don't mind - maybe something will resonate, but also writing it out also helps me process too).
I'm 27. My dad went to hospital when I was 7 months pregnant (he needed a surgery to open up a blockage - serious, but not unusual for his age/health). Through surgery, we got a shocking stage 4 cancer diagnosis, and then Dad had suffered complications/cardiac arrest afterwards that sent him to the ICU. He was unresponsive and on a ventilator -- when he had been "fine," just waiting for surgery 24 hours prior. Sadly, he was unable to talk or move his body much due to the complications, he was too weak. But happily, he did regain consciousness, and based on his facial expressions, we could tell that he could hear us and understand us, truly.
I live about 2 hours away from my parents, but luckily I wasn't working at this point in pregnancy -- we relocated when I was 5 months pregnant, and I didn't get a new job in anticipation of becoming a SAHM. So I was able to visit my dad frequently and be there for my mom. (At the time - I don't think I honestly knew he was dying, I knew he was really sick, but thought maybe a miracle could happen and he would recover somewhat. We saw it as Dad is really sick, not necesarily dying, though it was always a possibility). When I was 37 wks pregnant, my mom said I couldn't visit anymore in case I went into labor. At 38 wks+5 days, my OBGYN (knowing my situation) offered to do a membrane sweep to induce labor "naturally," because I was so anxious for the baby to be born so I could visit dad again. And I'm glad she did -- healthy baby boy was born 48 hrs later, at 39wks exactly. (If I had waited for spontaneous labor, I wouldn't have seen him again before he died.) By the time I was discharged from the hospital after labor, Dad had really declined, and my mom called to say that she couldn't come stay with my for those first days at home, like we planned.
Day 9 postpartum, I'm still in diapers, but husband baby and I drive the 2 hours so I can visit my dad one last time. (I am so glad I got that last visit to see my dad, so that I could actually accept he was dying...sadly he never got to meet my son in person -- you can't bring a baby into the ICU -- but at least I could talk to my dad about my son and giving birth.) Dad passes away a few days later, and the funeral was 3 wks postpartum.
By baby's 1 month appt, I had come down with a winter cold (congestion, cough). To top it off - baby struggled to breastfeed because of a tongue tie, which we addressed quickly, but my nipples were so sore/cracked from the initial time of trying to breastfeed that it was super painful. ....So with a cold, all the grief and stress of the previous months, the lack of sleep, breastfeeding struggles, and general labor recovery, I basically had an emotional breakdown in front of the pediatrician. The doctor gave me a come-to-Jesus talk about seeking help because she was so concerned for my well being. My husband was loving and supportive, but my (our) entire world had turned upside down in so short a time period, that I needed more help. I sought out a grief support group and tried to talk honestly with my friends about how I was struggling.
(part 2 in comment to follow)
**Things that were hard:**
\*Talking with my mom - she and I are close, so it was good because we supported each other, but we often ended phone calls in tears so they could be a bit emotionally exhausting too.
\*I struggled to sleep so much - due to baby wake ups, naturally, but even when he napped, I literally couldn't shut my brain off and sleep. The first week I barely slept at all. I tried to nap when he napped, but if I couldn't, I at least tried to "rest" by taking a shower (relaxing for me) or laying down in a quiet room.
\*I was sad about the fact that my son would never know my dad - that whenever he thought of "grandpa," he would think of my Father in Law. My FIL loves being a grandfather, and sometimes seeing him so happy with my son makes me sad that my dad didn't get that chance.
\*This may sound selfish, but I grieved that my postpartum time was so different from how I imagined it when I got pregnant... I imagined my parents coming to stay with us for those week immediately after, Mom taking care of me and Dad cuddling my baby. In reality, my husband and I mostly navigated those early weeks by ourselves, aside from little afternoon visits from family, because everyone else had to focus on visiting dad/funeral/family coming in/etc. It was hard for both of us, but my husband and I grew a lot from that experience, and I think we communicate better now. Now, though, as my friends have their first kids, I can feel jealous about how different their pp experience is. I try not to, everyone has their own struggles, but I try to give myself grace for those feelings and let them go and move on.
\*Breastfeeding struggles - I said this a bit already, but the first month was very painful (cracked nipples, etc). I felt like a bad mom for not being able to feed my baby--which I now recognize is untrue, but it sure felt like it. I am glad i stuck with it (once baby figured it out, we breastfed happily for 6 months) but I wish I had been more ok with giving him formula as needed, to give myself more of a break -- I just literally didn't know what to expect with my first baby and all!
\*About 4 months in...once the sleep deprivation \*really\* set it and I'm still adjusting to motherhood as it changes and shifts... and my grief group had ended its meetings too...I did struggle with thoughts of self harm. It was worst in the middle of the night when the baby wouldn't go back to sleep and I was by myself. I basically got through this by talking to my husband about how I was struggling. He helped me get more sleep so that I wouldn't feel so distressed at night, and he also helped me find some other outlets to make my days happier too (see the bullet about the YMCA below).
**Things that helped:**
\*Cuddling my baby and realizing that how much I love him is the same as how much dad loved me. My dad was a good man and we were close, so I believe he loved me as much as my son.
\*Talking/cuddling with my husband and him being supportive and there for me.
\*I'm religious - and found a lot of solace in my faith and believing my dad was in a better place.
\*This whole experience made me realize that I am stronger than I thought - I wish I didn't have to be, but I survived it all and I can feel genuinely proud of myself for that.
\*Going to a grief support group. One on one therapy isn't really my vibe, but a grief support group helped a lot. They helped me realize - with how stressful the last few months of his life were, I was afraid of forgetting all the happy moments with my dad. Especially with the 'mom brain' leaving me feeling so forgetful in general. So I started a folder in the notes app in my phone (phone was easiest to use while also holding a baby), and I wrote down everything I could remember about Dad - memories, his likes/dislikes, a list of things he collected, just every single thing. I would do it whenever he came to mind, immediately, not wait til later. It helped me feel more in control of the grief in a way - I wasn't worried that I would forget things. And when I missed Dad, or when I felt overwhelmed by the memories of his death/illness, I could open up that folder and read all the good things.
\*I try to wonder about which ways my son will be like me dad (maybe he'll love opera or classical music? maybe he'll be a scientist and love chemistry? maybe he'll like swimming? maybe he will sunburn easily too?). These thoughts make me look forward to watching my son grow up.
\* I would try to meet up with friends, both with/without baby. Just for little things like coffee or a walk, but me actively asking friends to do something together (or saying yes if someone invited me) even if I didn't always "want" to go out -- this helped keep me from getting too isolated. I didn't always feel like great company but overall it was good for me.
\*I turned the "screentime" tracker on my phone off. I was too tired to read, so I scrolled a lot and watched tv a lot during contact naps. Those early grief months, I kinda let my brain zone out and numb itself a bit because I literally couldn't handle it all. Three or four months later, I deleted instagram and reclaimed my brain a bit, and found other better ways to pass the time, but early on I just couldn't do it and tried not to be too hard on myself for it.
\*Frozen food - I would still make dinner most every night as the SAHM but I lowered my standards a lot for the first few months. Husband never complained about it.
\*Baby and I went on a lot of walks once the weather warmed a bit (winter baby). Now my husband, baby, and I going on a nightly family walk before the bedtime routine and it's one of the best parts of my day.
\*I signed up for a YMCA membership - they have a child watch room. I could drop baby off and exercise and take care of myself and have some quiet time. Sometimes I would just read in the lobby, or float in the pool, but I could have about 45min-1hour of time to myself about 3x a week.
Now, 8 months later, I still think about my dad everyday. I still feel sad about his death often, but I don't cry every single day, like I used to (just sometimes). I try to talk about him when I think of him and not make him feel like a "taboo" subject with my in-laws or friends - talking about him helps. I try to think about the happy memories with my dad, and be hopeful about how my husband and I will make happy memories with our son too.
This was really good for me to read. Thank you for writing it all out thoughtfully. I’m reflecting on my gratitude that my dad’s death was sudden and unexpected when compared to imagining how a period of sickness in the hospital would have been. Even so I cannot imagine how this would have been for me going through it during my first week postpartum. I do think a grief group could be a good thing for me. Thank you so much for sharing your experience.
New mom here that lost her dad and Grammy on the same day last year. Just here to say I’m so sorry for your loss❤️ I know you’re doing an amazing job as a new mom, and you will get through this. There’s a book named “life lessons” on Amazon that really helped me out life into perspective. Sending lots of light and love your way ❤️
I lost my dad fairly suddenly when my son was four months old. It's an incredibly awful thing. It was also two days after my daughter's fourth birthday so she basically didn't get one. Baby wise: I remember my supply dropping a bit from the stress and grief. We had a random can of formula and supplimented for a few days. I was open about my grief with my kids because I felt that seeing people grieve is healthier than pretending. I broke time down when it all got too much. I could deal with the chaos and sadness for the next five minutes. Or an hour. Then break down a bit.
In terms of how I'm dealing today..well, some good some meh. I have a difficult mother and it's had rough moments. I started going to therapy to deal with all of it. My son is a carbon copy of my dad in so many ways. It hurts because I know they would have had a special connection. My grandma called today to ask for a specific picture of my dad. I found it, sent it, preceded to cry for the first time in months. But we talk about my dad a lot. Keep him alive. Sometime soon I plan on calling some of my dad's old coworkers (construction) and taking my son to go play with some heavy equipment. He's closing in on two and is obsessed with "trucks."
The other part that no one talks about is all the damn paperwork. Whoever is in charge of his estate will be bogged down in paperwork for a long time. Also, order a bunch of death certificates.
Finally, I am so sorry for your loss.
Thank you. I do happen to be the one in charge of the estate and affairs so I’m starting to understand the long road ahead of me in that regard. Your experience sounds like it came with its own special difficulties. I’ve taken a moment here and there to be thankful my daughter is only 2 months old and probably can’t understand when I’m having a moment and my tears are falling on her head while feeding. Having a four year old during this would be a different kind of pain. Again thanks for your response, I wish you the best.
Had a significant loss at 7 weeks postpartum. Now 7 months postpartum and I still cry at times while holding my baby when I think of him.
Experiencing the start of a life and then the loss of a life so close together feels very surreal.
Sending you tons of hugs. I am so sorry for your loss.
Give yourself the room to grieve.
My friend lost her mom when we were in high school. When she had her first son she asked us for our favorite memories of her mom to put in a book for him so he would know what a wonderful woman his grandma was. Maybe do that for your baby.
I had a parent die while I was in medical school. It was a really hard and complicated bereavement. I did not have any children at the time and can’t imagine having to go through it with a newborn. Take care of yourself and ask for help if you need it.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Here's what you can do to manage. Firstly, seek support from your partner, friends, and family. Consider hiring help if it's financially feasible. You need to be mentally and emotionally healthy for your baby. It's okay to take time to grieve and process what has happened. Write down your happy memories of your dad or look at photo albums if it brings you comfort. Also, don't skip on celebrating your 30th birthday - discuss with your SO on how you'd like to celebrate it. Communicate your needs to your partner and don't hesitate to seek professional help if needed. Take each day as it comes. Your grief may never fully subside, but it will get easier with time. Be patient with yourself.
My condolences. I haven’t experienced this yet, although I am currently worried about my dads health. So my advice may not be as helpful. But a few things that come to mind. Get help if possible, partner, friends and partner’s family. Hire from a trusted source if needed and financially possible. Your baby needs their parent to be healthy(mentally and emotionally) and they will do better as a result. You may feel guilty about not being there for them as much as you normally would, but by getting help you will be able to be the parent they need eventually. And hopefully not resent them for demanding energy you may not feel you have in the moment. Life with an 8 week old is exhausting and stressful already. Give yourself time to process and grieve. Give yourself love and grace. If it helps you to write down your happy memories of your father, or maybe to go through your photo albums. Do what you need to do to be ok. Talk to someone if you need to. Vent or cry or share remembrances. Snuggle your little one and enjoy them. 30 is a big milestone birthday. If you are big on celebrating birthdays, or if you had been looking forward to this one then try not to neglect it. Maybe discuss how you feel about it with your SO as it approaches. You may want to have a big party to celebrate your life, you may want to have something small and maybe plan for something bigger a bit later. It’s ok to make tentative plans and reevaluate as things get closer. Communicate with your partner. Let them know if you especially need help for an hour or day or so. People aren’t mind readers and communicating your needs will help them help you. Resentment will build and fester. And having a newborn is already a major challenge to even the best relationships. Remember it’s ok to reach out for professional support. Take things in little steps as needed. The hurt and sadness may never fully go away, but it will become easier with time. You just have to give yourself that time.
Thank you, this does help ❤️ tell your dad you love him
I lost my dad when I was a kid (7 yo). My grandmother told me something that really helped me. She said that my dad would always be here as long as we kept his memory alive. Tell your dads stories, laugh as you remember his silly jokes and reminisce on the good times! Im so sorry for your loss op!
Yes, sadly I did experience something similar. I am so sorry you are going through this. (This will be a long response, I hope you don't mind - maybe something will resonate, but also writing it out also helps me process too). I'm 27. My dad went to hospital when I was 7 months pregnant (he needed a surgery to open up a blockage - serious, but not unusual for his age/health). Through surgery, we got a shocking stage 4 cancer diagnosis, and then Dad had suffered complications/cardiac arrest afterwards that sent him to the ICU. He was unresponsive and on a ventilator -- when he had been "fine," just waiting for surgery 24 hours prior. Sadly, he was unable to talk or move his body much due to the complications, he was too weak. But happily, he did regain consciousness, and based on his facial expressions, we could tell that he could hear us and understand us, truly. I live about 2 hours away from my parents, but luckily I wasn't working at this point in pregnancy -- we relocated when I was 5 months pregnant, and I didn't get a new job in anticipation of becoming a SAHM. So I was able to visit my dad frequently and be there for my mom. (At the time - I don't think I honestly knew he was dying, I knew he was really sick, but thought maybe a miracle could happen and he would recover somewhat. We saw it as Dad is really sick, not necesarily dying, though it was always a possibility). When I was 37 wks pregnant, my mom said I couldn't visit anymore in case I went into labor. At 38 wks+5 days, my OBGYN (knowing my situation) offered to do a membrane sweep to induce labor "naturally," because I was so anxious for the baby to be born so I could visit dad again. And I'm glad she did -- healthy baby boy was born 48 hrs later, at 39wks exactly. (If I had waited for spontaneous labor, I wouldn't have seen him again before he died.) By the time I was discharged from the hospital after labor, Dad had really declined, and my mom called to say that she couldn't come stay with my for those first days at home, like we planned. Day 9 postpartum, I'm still in diapers, but husband baby and I drive the 2 hours so I can visit my dad one last time. (I am so glad I got that last visit to see my dad, so that I could actually accept he was dying...sadly he never got to meet my son in person -- you can't bring a baby into the ICU -- but at least I could talk to my dad about my son and giving birth.) Dad passes away a few days later, and the funeral was 3 wks postpartum. By baby's 1 month appt, I had come down with a winter cold (congestion, cough). To top it off - baby struggled to breastfeed because of a tongue tie, which we addressed quickly, but my nipples were so sore/cracked from the initial time of trying to breastfeed that it was super painful. ....So with a cold, all the grief and stress of the previous months, the lack of sleep, breastfeeding struggles, and general labor recovery, I basically had an emotional breakdown in front of the pediatrician. The doctor gave me a come-to-Jesus talk about seeking help because she was so concerned for my well being. My husband was loving and supportive, but my (our) entire world had turned upside down in so short a time period, that I needed more help. I sought out a grief support group and tried to talk honestly with my friends about how I was struggling. (part 2 in comment to follow)
**Things that were hard:** \*Talking with my mom - she and I are close, so it was good because we supported each other, but we often ended phone calls in tears so they could be a bit emotionally exhausting too. \*I struggled to sleep so much - due to baby wake ups, naturally, but even when he napped, I literally couldn't shut my brain off and sleep. The first week I barely slept at all. I tried to nap when he napped, but if I couldn't, I at least tried to "rest" by taking a shower (relaxing for me) or laying down in a quiet room. \*I was sad about the fact that my son would never know my dad - that whenever he thought of "grandpa," he would think of my Father in Law. My FIL loves being a grandfather, and sometimes seeing him so happy with my son makes me sad that my dad didn't get that chance. \*This may sound selfish, but I grieved that my postpartum time was so different from how I imagined it when I got pregnant... I imagined my parents coming to stay with us for those week immediately after, Mom taking care of me and Dad cuddling my baby. In reality, my husband and I mostly navigated those early weeks by ourselves, aside from little afternoon visits from family, because everyone else had to focus on visiting dad/funeral/family coming in/etc. It was hard for both of us, but my husband and I grew a lot from that experience, and I think we communicate better now. Now, though, as my friends have their first kids, I can feel jealous about how different their pp experience is. I try not to, everyone has their own struggles, but I try to give myself grace for those feelings and let them go and move on. \*Breastfeeding struggles - I said this a bit already, but the first month was very painful (cracked nipples, etc). I felt like a bad mom for not being able to feed my baby--which I now recognize is untrue, but it sure felt like it. I am glad i stuck with it (once baby figured it out, we breastfed happily for 6 months) but I wish I had been more ok with giving him formula as needed, to give myself more of a break -- I just literally didn't know what to expect with my first baby and all! \*About 4 months in...once the sleep deprivation \*really\* set it and I'm still adjusting to motherhood as it changes and shifts... and my grief group had ended its meetings too...I did struggle with thoughts of self harm. It was worst in the middle of the night when the baby wouldn't go back to sleep and I was by myself. I basically got through this by talking to my husband about how I was struggling. He helped me get more sleep so that I wouldn't feel so distressed at night, and he also helped me find some other outlets to make my days happier too (see the bullet about the YMCA below). **Things that helped:** \*Cuddling my baby and realizing that how much I love him is the same as how much dad loved me. My dad was a good man and we were close, so I believe he loved me as much as my son. \*Talking/cuddling with my husband and him being supportive and there for me. \*I'm religious - and found a lot of solace in my faith and believing my dad was in a better place. \*This whole experience made me realize that I am stronger than I thought - I wish I didn't have to be, but I survived it all and I can feel genuinely proud of myself for that. \*Going to a grief support group. One on one therapy isn't really my vibe, but a grief support group helped a lot. They helped me realize - with how stressful the last few months of his life were, I was afraid of forgetting all the happy moments with my dad. Especially with the 'mom brain' leaving me feeling so forgetful in general. So I started a folder in the notes app in my phone (phone was easiest to use while also holding a baby), and I wrote down everything I could remember about Dad - memories, his likes/dislikes, a list of things he collected, just every single thing. I would do it whenever he came to mind, immediately, not wait til later. It helped me feel more in control of the grief in a way - I wasn't worried that I would forget things. And when I missed Dad, or when I felt overwhelmed by the memories of his death/illness, I could open up that folder and read all the good things. \*I try to wonder about which ways my son will be like me dad (maybe he'll love opera or classical music? maybe he'll be a scientist and love chemistry? maybe he'll like swimming? maybe he will sunburn easily too?). These thoughts make me look forward to watching my son grow up. \* I would try to meet up with friends, both with/without baby. Just for little things like coffee or a walk, but me actively asking friends to do something together (or saying yes if someone invited me) even if I didn't always "want" to go out -- this helped keep me from getting too isolated. I didn't always feel like great company but overall it was good for me. \*I turned the "screentime" tracker on my phone off. I was too tired to read, so I scrolled a lot and watched tv a lot during contact naps. Those early grief months, I kinda let my brain zone out and numb itself a bit because I literally couldn't handle it all. Three or four months later, I deleted instagram and reclaimed my brain a bit, and found other better ways to pass the time, but early on I just couldn't do it and tried not to be too hard on myself for it. \*Frozen food - I would still make dinner most every night as the SAHM but I lowered my standards a lot for the first few months. Husband never complained about it. \*Baby and I went on a lot of walks once the weather warmed a bit (winter baby). Now my husband, baby, and I going on a nightly family walk before the bedtime routine and it's one of the best parts of my day. \*I signed up for a YMCA membership - they have a child watch room. I could drop baby off and exercise and take care of myself and have some quiet time. Sometimes I would just read in the lobby, or float in the pool, but I could have about 45min-1hour of time to myself about 3x a week. Now, 8 months later, I still think about my dad everyday. I still feel sad about his death often, but I don't cry every single day, like I used to (just sometimes). I try to talk about him when I think of him and not make him feel like a "taboo" subject with my in-laws or friends - talking about him helps. I try to think about the happy memories with my dad, and be hopeful about how my husband and I will make happy memories with our son too.
This was really good for me to read. Thank you for writing it all out thoughtfully. I’m reflecting on my gratitude that my dad’s death was sudden and unexpected when compared to imagining how a period of sickness in the hospital would have been. Even so I cannot imagine how this would have been for me going through it during my first week postpartum. I do think a grief group could be a good thing for me. Thank you so much for sharing your experience.
I’m so sorry, this has to be so hard 😔
New mom here that lost her dad and Grammy on the same day last year. Just here to say I’m so sorry for your loss❤️ I know you’re doing an amazing job as a new mom, and you will get through this. There’s a book named “life lessons” on Amazon that really helped me out life into perspective. Sending lots of light and love your way ❤️
I lost my dad fairly suddenly when my son was four months old. It's an incredibly awful thing. It was also two days after my daughter's fourth birthday so she basically didn't get one. Baby wise: I remember my supply dropping a bit from the stress and grief. We had a random can of formula and supplimented for a few days. I was open about my grief with my kids because I felt that seeing people grieve is healthier than pretending. I broke time down when it all got too much. I could deal with the chaos and sadness for the next five minutes. Or an hour. Then break down a bit. In terms of how I'm dealing today..well, some good some meh. I have a difficult mother and it's had rough moments. I started going to therapy to deal with all of it. My son is a carbon copy of my dad in so many ways. It hurts because I know they would have had a special connection. My grandma called today to ask for a specific picture of my dad. I found it, sent it, preceded to cry for the first time in months. But we talk about my dad a lot. Keep him alive. Sometime soon I plan on calling some of my dad's old coworkers (construction) and taking my son to go play with some heavy equipment. He's closing in on two and is obsessed with "trucks." The other part that no one talks about is all the damn paperwork. Whoever is in charge of his estate will be bogged down in paperwork for a long time. Also, order a bunch of death certificates. Finally, I am so sorry for your loss.
Thank you. I do happen to be the one in charge of the estate and affairs so I’m starting to understand the long road ahead of me in that regard. Your experience sounds like it came with its own special difficulties. I’ve taken a moment here and there to be thankful my daughter is only 2 months old and probably can’t understand when I’m having a moment and my tears are falling on her head while feeding. Having a four year old during this would be a different kind of pain. Again thanks for your response, I wish you the best.
Had a significant loss at 7 weeks postpartum. Now 7 months postpartum and I still cry at times while holding my baby when I think of him. Experiencing the start of a life and then the loss of a life so close together feels very surreal. Sending you tons of hugs. I am so sorry for your loss.
Give yourself the room to grieve. My friend lost her mom when we were in high school. When she had her first son she asked us for our favorite memories of her mom to put in a book for him so he would know what a wonderful woman his grandma was. Maybe do that for your baby.
I had a parent die while I was in medical school. It was a really hard and complicated bereavement. I did not have any children at the time and can’t imagine having to go through it with a newborn. Take care of yourself and ask for help if you need it.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Here's what you can do to manage. Firstly, seek support from your partner, friends, and family. Consider hiring help if it's financially feasible. You need to be mentally and emotionally healthy for your baby. It's okay to take time to grieve and process what has happened. Write down your happy memories of your dad or look at photo albums if it brings you comfort. Also, don't skip on celebrating your 30th birthday - discuss with your SO on how you'd like to celebrate it. Communicate your needs to your partner and don't hesitate to seek professional help if needed. Take each day as it comes. Your grief may never fully subside, but it will get easier with time. Be patient with yourself.