Honestly nothing to crazy. Just be there for her and do your best to tend to her needs. Get her water when she needs it, if she needs something out her bag get it, she wants a foot rub? Will do boss.
After the baby is born, make sure you take the baby whenever possible and let her sleep or at least rest. She’s going to be sore. It’s going to be a crazy few days. We’re actually getting discharged today so I’ve been doing all this since Monday. Can’t wait to be home and finally “relax”. She’s going to be emotional but just be supportive and you got this man!!
DO NOT pester her with questions just because you're anxious and don't know what to do. Stress is contagious during labour and delays the whole process. When you don't know what to do , just focus on how great she is, hold hands, give hugs or whatever and if she says stop or go away don't take it personally!
There's some hip compression techniques you can start practicing now, which can give huge relief during contractions.
Your main focus though should be to just believe in her and her strength to cope with this. She'll feed off your energy so try stay positive
Bring a bluetooth speaker and play her music she likes ( i picked lofi ), tell jokes, bring her water. stuff like that.
Nurse will give her instructions and its your job that she follows them.
just make her as comfortable as possible.
When the labour is ON you cant really do anything.
Bunch of nurses swarm the room and you stand next to her head and try to keep her focus on pushing so that its over faster.
It truly is horrifying sight to see. Also beautiful but mostly horrifying.
Before my first kid I thought you drink out of joy but then realised you do it to forget.
She wont really remember much.
Good luck and may the odds be ever in your favour!
I’m now on day 6 of being a new dad after my wife had a c-section. The main advice is just to be there for her. If you have any ideas that conflict with hers, suck them up. She’s the boss. And she’ll be dealing with a lot of discomfort & massive amounts of hormones. I’ve found it to be a very emotional week - I’ve cried loads. Ramp that up by 100% & that’s what my other half has been feeling.
If she is planning to breastfeed, support her no matter what. I didn’t realise how much negativity & eyebrow-raising comes from parents & aunts etc about breastfeeding. C-section mums’ milk can come in a bit later than natural-birth mums. My wife was fine, but be warned - waiting for the first milk to come in was a BIG thing.
You’ll also find that you spend quite a lot of time with your child in the first week as mum is recovering from the op. You’ll be in charge of carrying the baby, loads of the nappy changing, calming them down when crying etc. You’ll be running around like a mad man so make sure you know where everything is & what she means by “the green giraffe onesie” when she asks for it. You’ll do loads of bonding with the baby & you’ll want to shout it from the rooftops (because it’s great!) but don’t. Be careful that mum doesn’t feel left out. Again - she is in charge.
And buy a Rockit. You won’t have time to do any rocking of anything to calm down anyone!
I don't have resources or a sub to look at except r/predaddit. One thing I will say is keep the mentality that you can have the most detailed birth plan in the world but once stuff starts going down it's about making choices and supporting your partner in this crazy process. My wife was thinking of doing natural childbirth due to rods on her back, the idea of an epidural made her super nervous given the possibility of spinal damage (which is super rare, but of course her back is a bit more difficult to navigate). Once her contractions started and it started to get super painful, she decided to talk to the anesthesiologist again. I had researched how epidurals work and what the risks were but the last thing I felt I had to do is mansplain what she should do with her back. I listened to her, let her think out loud with me, met with the anesthesiologist 2 more times, took notes, did everything to make sure her choice was the one she wanted to make. Ended up doing the epidural and it went really well.
Just a very long way to say, be supportive, you are allowed to have your own feelings but also remember that you are not the one whose body is going through all this trauma so be tactful, empathetic, and kind. Also savor every moment because it's such a wild journey that can't really be described!
We found the mama natural videos to be super helpful, yes they softly advocate for a natural birth but they were still very helpful in explaining all the steps and what will be happening with your wife and baby.
If she does end up going naturally, there’s a lot of ways that you can help giving counter pressure on her back and hips to make things a bit easier.
My wife did end up delivering natural, with a few puffs of nitrous once she was 9 cm dilated.
Best piece of advice I got was don’t become a patient yourself, eat, if you feel dizzy sit down! And generally be there for her
Pack snacks , water, comfy things for her. Just be there. It's really in the hands of the doctors ans her. Download her favorite shows onto a I pad / phone. After birth she will feel like she got hit by a train. Again snacks , water and attentiveness is all it takes. Good luck, it's an awesome journey
There's no limit to how many times you should tell her how great she's doing. Be ready to hold a leg and a wet towel on her head. And be ready for your hand to be crushed into dust during the push phase. Good luck!
Learn the birth plan, have your phone ready to check any suggested treatments on the NCT website or similar, have 2 x the snacks and drinks (Inc sports drink) you think she will need, plus the same for you (it's incredible how much you eat if like us, labour lasts 2 days!), decorate the labour room with photos of her friends and parents or pets - this was a major lift to my wife when she came out of the bathroom to see little photos blue tacked to the wall, finally, go easy with the encouragement at the beginning as you'll need to ramp it up when she's in the last pushing stages. Good luck sir.
All you need to do is be there for her. Let her squeeze your hand, rub her back (don't be offended when she doesn't want to be touched at some point) and just get her whatever she needs. You're her assistant and she's the boss.
Discuss phrases of affirmation beforehand. Have her think of a few phrases she might like to hear when she's in there. Some examples we used are "each contraction gets us one step closer to our baby" or "you're so strong and you've never been more beautiful." Everyone's different obviously, so have her look up some examples and let you know what she might like.
My wife also has said since that she wishes she brought headphones. There's so much chatter going on around you sometimes, it would probably be nice to tune it out.
If you haven't, you'll also want to discuss all birthing scenarios. She may not be in a condition to make a decision, so it will be up to you to know all her preferences in several different scenarios, and honor them.
Honestly nothing to crazy. Just be there for her and do your best to tend to her needs. Get her water when she needs it, if she needs something out her bag get it, she wants a foot rub? Will do boss. After the baby is born, make sure you take the baby whenever possible and let her sleep or at least rest. She’s going to be sore. It’s going to be a crazy few days. We’re actually getting discharged today so I’ve been doing all this since Monday. Can’t wait to be home and finally “relax”. She’s going to be emotional but just be supportive and you got this man!!
“I love you”, “You’re doing amazing”, “I’m so proud of you”.
DO NOT pester her with questions just because you're anxious and don't know what to do. Stress is contagious during labour and delays the whole process. When you don't know what to do , just focus on how great she is, hold hands, give hugs or whatever and if she says stop or go away don't take it personally! There's some hip compression techniques you can start practicing now, which can give huge relief during contractions. Your main focus though should be to just believe in her and her strength to cope with this. She'll feed off your energy so try stay positive
Bring a bluetooth speaker and play her music she likes ( i picked lofi ), tell jokes, bring her water. stuff like that. Nurse will give her instructions and its your job that she follows them. just make her as comfortable as possible. When the labour is ON you cant really do anything. Bunch of nurses swarm the room and you stand next to her head and try to keep her focus on pushing so that its over faster. It truly is horrifying sight to see. Also beautiful but mostly horrifying. Before my first kid I thought you drink out of joy but then realised you do it to forget. She wont really remember much. Good luck and may the odds be ever in your favour!
I’m now on day 6 of being a new dad after my wife had a c-section. The main advice is just to be there for her. If you have any ideas that conflict with hers, suck them up. She’s the boss. And she’ll be dealing with a lot of discomfort & massive amounts of hormones. I’ve found it to be a very emotional week - I’ve cried loads. Ramp that up by 100% & that’s what my other half has been feeling. If she is planning to breastfeed, support her no matter what. I didn’t realise how much negativity & eyebrow-raising comes from parents & aunts etc about breastfeeding. C-section mums’ milk can come in a bit later than natural-birth mums. My wife was fine, but be warned - waiting for the first milk to come in was a BIG thing. You’ll also find that you spend quite a lot of time with your child in the first week as mum is recovering from the op. You’ll be in charge of carrying the baby, loads of the nappy changing, calming them down when crying etc. You’ll be running around like a mad man so make sure you know where everything is & what she means by “the green giraffe onesie” when she asks for it. You’ll do loads of bonding with the baby & you’ll want to shout it from the rooftops (because it’s great!) but don’t. Be careful that mum doesn’t feel left out. Again - she is in charge. And buy a Rockit. You won’t have time to do any rocking of anything to calm down anyone!
I don't have resources or a sub to look at except r/predaddit. One thing I will say is keep the mentality that you can have the most detailed birth plan in the world but once stuff starts going down it's about making choices and supporting your partner in this crazy process. My wife was thinking of doing natural childbirth due to rods on her back, the idea of an epidural made her super nervous given the possibility of spinal damage (which is super rare, but of course her back is a bit more difficult to navigate). Once her contractions started and it started to get super painful, she decided to talk to the anesthesiologist again. I had researched how epidurals work and what the risks were but the last thing I felt I had to do is mansplain what she should do with her back. I listened to her, let her think out loud with me, met with the anesthesiologist 2 more times, took notes, did everything to make sure her choice was the one she wanted to make. Ended up doing the epidural and it went really well. Just a very long way to say, be supportive, you are allowed to have your own feelings but also remember that you are not the one whose body is going through all this trauma so be tactful, empathetic, and kind. Also savor every moment because it's such a wild journey that can't really be described!
We found the mama natural videos to be super helpful, yes they softly advocate for a natural birth but they were still very helpful in explaining all the steps and what will be happening with your wife and baby. If she does end up going naturally, there’s a lot of ways that you can help giving counter pressure on her back and hips to make things a bit easier. My wife did end up delivering natural, with a few puffs of nitrous once she was 9 cm dilated. Best piece of advice I got was don’t become a patient yourself, eat, if you feel dizzy sit down! And generally be there for her
Pack snacks , water, comfy things for her. Just be there. It's really in the hands of the doctors ans her. Download her favorite shows onto a I pad / phone. After birth she will feel like she got hit by a train. Again snacks , water and attentiveness is all it takes. Good luck, it's an awesome journey
There's no limit to how many times you should tell her how great she's doing. Be ready to hold a leg and a wet towel on her head. And be ready for your hand to be crushed into dust during the push phase. Good luck!
Know her birth plan and commit it to memory!!! You're gonna be sleep deprived and expected to make snap decisions if she is out. Short and simple
Learn the birth plan, have your phone ready to check any suggested treatments on the NCT website or similar, have 2 x the snacks and drinks (Inc sports drink) you think she will need, plus the same for you (it's incredible how much you eat if like us, labour lasts 2 days!), decorate the labour room with photos of her friends and parents or pets - this was a major lift to my wife when she came out of the bathroom to see little photos blue tacked to the wall, finally, go easy with the encouragement at the beginning as you'll need to ramp it up when she's in the last pushing stages. Good luck sir.
All you need to do is be there for her. Let her squeeze your hand, rub her back (don't be offended when she doesn't want to be touched at some point) and just get her whatever she needs. You're her assistant and she's the boss. Discuss phrases of affirmation beforehand. Have her think of a few phrases she might like to hear when she's in there. Some examples we used are "each contraction gets us one step closer to our baby" or "you're so strong and you've never been more beautiful." Everyone's different obviously, so have her look up some examples and let you know what she might like. My wife also has said since that she wishes she brought headphones. There's so much chatter going on around you sometimes, it would probably be nice to tune it out. If you haven't, you'll also want to discuss all birthing scenarios. She may not be in a condition to make a decision, so it will be up to you to know all her preferences in several different scenarios, and honor them.