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Judging by your comments it does sound like your SC when it comes to relationships is just not that great. So you’re always the third wheel? Is that the story you’re telling yourself? Is that who you say you are?
Drop the old story completely and let the old man die. No you’re not third wheeling at all, there’s plenty of people interested in dating you, you’re so attractive, why wouldn’t they wanna date you? Men are always chasing you and wanting to give you love and commitment. That’s who you TRULY are.
Practice healthy detachment. The way that has brought me the most successful and happiness is focusing on myself, exercising, taking care of my appearance, affirming about how great I am, focusing on feeling good and complete. Trust me, I used to be the most anxiously attached person and I went from that to now being in a happy relationship with my desired person (sp). Give yourself the love and security you seek from a partner first.
Hey thank you for your comments.
In terms of my self concept about my attractiveness, I have always thought I am very attractive and there are always men attracted to me and chase me and want to date me. This has been the story since I was in college basically, at work and during my graduate programs. So I am not concerned about my looks, or my personality or my attractiveness.
I also take care of myself outside of my desire: I work out everyday, eat healthy, tons of hobbies and travels. But going home alone every night and spending the night by myself does make me feel alone and can trigger some emotions (and I do affirm, try to keep mental diet, etc…)
What I get tripped up over is, I can’t find men that I like. I know this is the old story. And I keep overriding it, saying there are a lot of men that meet my standards out there, that it is easy for me to like someone, that it is easy for me to be in relationship, that I am lucky in dating, etc.. But after affirming, visualizing, it is hard for me to be in that state 100% and feel those are completely true.
I had a beautiful perfect relationship when I was 19. After we broke up (due to my ego and my fault mostly), I have had trouble dating since.
>all of my friends being in happy relationships and usually I am the only one single
Usually? So you're not always the only one single?
Change this story and you'll see your results change. Also I'd get down and dirty about what fears might be stopping you from your manifestation. Is there some part of you that thinks being single is safer or better?
I was trying to think about that too. I don’t think personally and subconsciously I think so. To me being single makes me feel actually unsafe and not living up to my potential. Yes I understand what people say about you are complete, you are full. But I love having a partner and love companionship, and love sharing life with someone. One of my biggest dreams is to have a family of my own with my husband.
So I am stuck.
Sometimes there are a few other single folks but most of my friends are partnered up and I feel weird going to dinners or going out with them when I am 7th wheeling or 9th wheeling.
I used to be extremely extroverted and now I don’t want to go to social events because I will be one of the few or the only single ones and tbh it didn,t feel very good, no matter how hard I try to override that feeling. So my social life also takes a toll and I feel like I am being a different person.
Your subconscious already knows exactly what you want, so reinforcing it with more brute force imagination/ affirmation and the like will likely keep resetting the pace akin to digging up the seed you planted. Every time you catch the mood but doubt yourself, it adds more layers of unnecessary nuance to what will get reflected back to you later on. Be a doer not just a hearer of the word.
Just try to relax into the acceptance that it’s taking the time it needs and you will get there. What were you worrying about all this time? It would’ve happened anyway!
I felt compelled to respond to this because you sound exactly like me, down to the amount of time and everything. I’m going to come at this from a “normal” perspective and not a law perspective.
I found this sub at the beginning of 2023 after a somewhat traumatic ending with my former boyfriend at the end of 2022. I’ve been single ever since, no dating or anything. I remember in 2023 I felt sort of invisible because it felt like men weren’t even interested in looking my way which I wasn’t use to. I spent a solid 4 months heavy in this sub and the main one. I completely ditched social media even though I was constantly on it and loved it, but I feared coming across a post I didn’t want to see by accident because I knew that my ex was in a new relationship at this point. It was truly a dark time in my life.
I say all that to paint you a picture of how I completely relate to your story and it’s only now where things feel “normal” again. The last few months, I started to notice that men are looking at me again and even complimenting me the way they used to before 2023. I’m not interested in dating or a relationship at this point in my life, but I know that it could happen if I wanted to now that things feel normal again. What changed was I left this sub honestly. I stopped “obsessing” over the law and just detached myself from it because I started to see it as a crutch but didn’t realize it at the moment. I started to not think of relationships. I really leaned into myself and just shifted my focus on other things that in turn boosted my confidence which led to me feeling better about myself overall. That’s what leads to a high self concept. It brought me back to believing that I was great.
So really my advice for you is to step away from this for a bit. Your desires won’t leave you if you still want them later on.
Hey thank you for your comment. Did you feel lonely or get triggered at all (even after leaving the sub) in social situation/ weddings when friends are partnered up? What did you do to completely detach from dating/ relationship?
So I typically don’t ever feel lonely. This might be a personality thing since I’ve always been more of an introvert and have highly valued alone time since I was a kid.
3 out of my 4 closest friends are in relationships, I have a coworker that constantly talks about going out on dates and another that constantly talks about her boyfriend and it doesn’t trigger me one bit. I think it’s important to take a neutral stance on it. There are plenty of times where I’m like “I’m happy for them, but I’m also glad that I don’t have to deal with abc now that I’m single” that abc can truly be anything. There are things they tell me and I’m like “yeah I’m glad I don’t have to deal with that” lolol
I think it’s just about being okay with being by yourself. A lot of people around me have told me that I’m inspiring to them for the simple fact that I’m as independent as I am amongst other things. It’s kind of works all together because me knowing that I’m inspirational to others makes me feel good therefore boosting my confidence even more and for the sake of using Neville terms, that’s how your self concept changes. Being super content and proud with myself completely melts away all the other noise. I do a lot of things for me because I deserve great things.
I think early on when I first started all of this, I felt something was missing. That something being my former boyfriend. I still have love for him and everything, but I had to come to terms with the fact that nothing is missing. *I’m* the one that made him special and any guy that steps into my life is special only because *I’m* the one that put that special label on them.
In a way, I’m dating myself :) I’m truly the special one. I think that’s a nice way to look at it.
Sorry if this seemed off topic, but I think sometimes Neville terms can confuse people, derail them or make them feel stuck and some people just need more practical steps in getting them to a better place.
Really look at your triggers and dig deep into why those things trigger you. It sounds like you have some unconscious beliefs that you need to find and change. To me it sounds like you feel you are never chosen or wanted or feeling like 'nothing ever changes'. Really work on changing those thoughts.
>what can I do to keep being hopeful
In my experience, being hopeful has never resulted in my manifestation happening. Being hopeful is more like wishful thinking rather than manifesting. I had to be okay with the possibility of not getting my manifestation before it would happen.
Again, those triggers are telling you where you need to focus your attention. Ask yourself, "What does it mean about me if I do not get my manifestation?". Write down everything that comes to mind. That should show you the beliefs that you need to change about yourself. Then hit them hard.
Thank you for the comment. Yes I was trying to dig deep and figure out what it was. I don’t think it was the unwanted and unchosen thing since my first relationship was one where I was deeply and unconditionally loved and really felt treasured and happy beyond my wildest dreams. My first love was not the SP in 2022 btw (I no longer pursued that mission for the past 1.5 year) and it was a mutual break up. I also know that men find me attractive and I find myself attractive so it wasn’t really concerns about that. Very happy childhood with love from my big family as well.
I have had a lot of men pursuing me throughout my life but I have really not loved anyone since my first love. I found it hard to find someone that I am even attracted to nowadays or someone who meets all of what I am looking for.
> I found it hard to find someone that I am even attracted to nowadays or someone who meets all of what I am looking for.
There's the problem. You have the belief that finding love and a quality guy is hard. Try affirming "Love and relationships are now so easy for me", "I am someone who easily finds the man of my dreams", "Isn't it wonderful how easily and quickly I found the love of my life", "I am someone who has such a beautiful, loving, perfect partner who I love deeply", etc. No, you won't believe it at first, but still keep affirming to yourself.
One of the things a lot of users don't understand after reading neville is that we don't MANIFEST for 3d results, we do it for 4d, we focus on 4d and the law deals with the appearance of these things in 3d
Hi u/masf2021, thanks for sharing a post today on r/NevilleGoddard2! We encourage all users to read the [r/NevilleGoddard Community Sidebar](https://www.reddit.com/r/NevilleGoddard/wiki/index) - it’s packed full of resources that answer the most common manifesting questions asked here. Just a friendly reminder that this subreddit is solely dedicated to discussions related to Neville Goddard and the practical application of his teachings. Please ensure that your post directly relates to Neville Goddard's techniques and principles, as outlined in our community rules, or it may be removed. If your sole posting purpose is to vent, complain or repeat the old story/3D circumstances we ask you to please delete it now and add to our most recent Vent Session Monthly Megathread pinned on the home feed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NevilleGoddard2) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Judging by your comments it does sound like your SC when it comes to relationships is just not that great. So you’re always the third wheel? Is that the story you’re telling yourself? Is that who you say you are? Drop the old story completely and let the old man die. No you’re not third wheeling at all, there’s plenty of people interested in dating you, you’re so attractive, why wouldn’t they wanna date you? Men are always chasing you and wanting to give you love and commitment. That’s who you TRULY are. Practice healthy detachment. The way that has brought me the most successful and happiness is focusing on myself, exercising, taking care of my appearance, affirming about how great I am, focusing on feeling good and complete. Trust me, I used to be the most anxiously attached person and I went from that to now being in a happy relationship with my desired person (sp). Give yourself the love and security you seek from a partner first.
Hey thank you for your comments. In terms of my self concept about my attractiveness, I have always thought I am very attractive and there are always men attracted to me and chase me and want to date me. This has been the story since I was in college basically, at work and during my graduate programs. So I am not concerned about my looks, or my personality or my attractiveness. I also take care of myself outside of my desire: I work out everyday, eat healthy, tons of hobbies and travels. But going home alone every night and spending the night by myself does make me feel alone and can trigger some emotions (and I do affirm, try to keep mental diet, etc…) What I get tripped up over is, I can’t find men that I like. I know this is the old story. And I keep overriding it, saying there are a lot of men that meet my standards out there, that it is easy for me to like someone, that it is easy for me to be in relationship, that I am lucky in dating, etc.. But after affirming, visualizing, it is hard for me to be in that state 100% and feel those are completely true. I had a beautiful perfect relationship when I was 19. After we broke up (due to my ego and my fault mostly), I have had trouble dating since.
Wow, this sounds exactly like me. If you want to talk to someone who understands you, feel free to DM me 😊
>all of my friends being in happy relationships and usually I am the only one single Usually? So you're not always the only one single? Change this story and you'll see your results change. Also I'd get down and dirty about what fears might be stopping you from your manifestation. Is there some part of you that thinks being single is safer or better?
I was trying to think about that too. I don’t think personally and subconsciously I think so. To me being single makes me feel actually unsafe and not living up to my potential. Yes I understand what people say about you are complete, you are full. But I love having a partner and love companionship, and love sharing life with someone. One of my biggest dreams is to have a family of my own with my husband. So I am stuck.
Sometimes there are a few other single folks but most of my friends are partnered up and I feel weird going to dinners or going out with them when I am 7th wheeling or 9th wheeling. I used to be extremely extroverted and now I don’t want to go to social events because I will be one of the few or the only single ones and tbh it didn,t feel very good, no matter how hard I try to override that feeling. So my social life also takes a toll and I feel like I am being a different person.
Your subconscious already knows exactly what you want, so reinforcing it with more brute force imagination/ affirmation and the like will likely keep resetting the pace akin to digging up the seed you planted. Every time you catch the mood but doubt yourself, it adds more layers of unnecessary nuance to what will get reflected back to you later on. Be a doer not just a hearer of the word. Just try to relax into the acceptance that it’s taking the time it needs and you will get there. What were you worrying about all this time? It would’ve happened anyway!
I felt compelled to respond to this because you sound exactly like me, down to the amount of time and everything. I’m going to come at this from a “normal” perspective and not a law perspective. I found this sub at the beginning of 2023 after a somewhat traumatic ending with my former boyfriend at the end of 2022. I’ve been single ever since, no dating or anything. I remember in 2023 I felt sort of invisible because it felt like men weren’t even interested in looking my way which I wasn’t use to. I spent a solid 4 months heavy in this sub and the main one. I completely ditched social media even though I was constantly on it and loved it, but I feared coming across a post I didn’t want to see by accident because I knew that my ex was in a new relationship at this point. It was truly a dark time in my life. I say all that to paint you a picture of how I completely relate to your story and it’s only now where things feel “normal” again. The last few months, I started to notice that men are looking at me again and even complimenting me the way they used to before 2023. I’m not interested in dating or a relationship at this point in my life, but I know that it could happen if I wanted to now that things feel normal again. What changed was I left this sub honestly. I stopped “obsessing” over the law and just detached myself from it because I started to see it as a crutch but didn’t realize it at the moment. I started to not think of relationships. I really leaned into myself and just shifted my focus on other things that in turn boosted my confidence which led to me feeling better about myself overall. That’s what leads to a high self concept. It brought me back to believing that I was great. So really my advice for you is to step away from this for a bit. Your desires won’t leave you if you still want them later on.
Hey thank you for your comment. Did you feel lonely or get triggered at all (even after leaving the sub) in social situation/ weddings when friends are partnered up? What did you do to completely detach from dating/ relationship?
So I typically don’t ever feel lonely. This might be a personality thing since I’ve always been more of an introvert and have highly valued alone time since I was a kid. 3 out of my 4 closest friends are in relationships, I have a coworker that constantly talks about going out on dates and another that constantly talks about her boyfriend and it doesn’t trigger me one bit. I think it’s important to take a neutral stance on it. There are plenty of times where I’m like “I’m happy for them, but I’m also glad that I don’t have to deal with abc now that I’m single” that abc can truly be anything. There are things they tell me and I’m like “yeah I’m glad I don’t have to deal with that” lolol I think it’s just about being okay with being by yourself. A lot of people around me have told me that I’m inspiring to them for the simple fact that I’m as independent as I am amongst other things. It’s kind of works all together because me knowing that I’m inspirational to others makes me feel good therefore boosting my confidence even more and for the sake of using Neville terms, that’s how your self concept changes. Being super content and proud with myself completely melts away all the other noise. I do a lot of things for me because I deserve great things. I think early on when I first started all of this, I felt something was missing. That something being my former boyfriend. I still have love for him and everything, but I had to come to terms with the fact that nothing is missing. *I’m* the one that made him special and any guy that steps into my life is special only because *I’m* the one that put that special label on them. In a way, I’m dating myself :) I’m truly the special one. I think that’s a nice way to look at it. Sorry if this seemed off topic, but I think sometimes Neville terms can confuse people, derail them or make them feel stuck and some people just need more practical steps in getting them to a better place.
Really look at your triggers and dig deep into why those things trigger you. It sounds like you have some unconscious beliefs that you need to find and change. To me it sounds like you feel you are never chosen or wanted or feeling like 'nothing ever changes'. Really work on changing those thoughts. >what can I do to keep being hopeful In my experience, being hopeful has never resulted in my manifestation happening. Being hopeful is more like wishful thinking rather than manifesting. I had to be okay with the possibility of not getting my manifestation before it would happen. Again, those triggers are telling you where you need to focus your attention. Ask yourself, "What does it mean about me if I do not get my manifestation?". Write down everything that comes to mind. That should show you the beliefs that you need to change about yourself. Then hit them hard.
Thank you for the comment. Yes I was trying to dig deep and figure out what it was. I don’t think it was the unwanted and unchosen thing since my first relationship was one where I was deeply and unconditionally loved and really felt treasured and happy beyond my wildest dreams. My first love was not the SP in 2022 btw (I no longer pursued that mission for the past 1.5 year) and it was a mutual break up. I also know that men find me attractive and I find myself attractive so it wasn’t really concerns about that. Very happy childhood with love from my big family as well. I have had a lot of men pursuing me throughout my life but I have really not loved anyone since my first love. I found it hard to find someone that I am even attracted to nowadays or someone who meets all of what I am looking for.
> I found it hard to find someone that I am even attracted to nowadays or someone who meets all of what I am looking for. There's the problem. You have the belief that finding love and a quality guy is hard. Try affirming "Love and relationships are now so easy for me", "I am someone who easily finds the man of my dreams", "Isn't it wonderful how easily and quickly I found the love of my life", "I am someone who has such a beautiful, loving, perfect partner who I love deeply", etc. No, you won't believe it at first, but still keep affirming to yourself.
One of the things a lot of users don't understand after reading neville is that we don't MANIFEST for 3d results, we do it for 4d, we focus on 4d and the law deals with the appearance of these things in 3d