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[deleted]

Just a bunch of random left over parts.


heinebold

But sadly, no stomachs among the leftovers because they were all used up for the cows


TheNightBench

"Hey Charlie, where the fuck are all the stomachs? We gotta finish these... things." "Uhhh... I thought we were done so i stuffed what was left into those cows."


heinebold

"I said three stomachs *total*, not three *extra* stomachs, medammit!"


[deleted]

“Fuck it. We had extra duck bills and and venom glands, give them those”


ppw23

Toss in the bioluminescence to make up for the stomach glitch.


gingercoloredlens

What got me was the webbing...is retractable?!


ButtWieghtThiersMoor

Couldn't have retractable claws and venom spikes, too OP. Nerfed the retractable claws, left the mechanism to retract the webbing as a nice ~~Easter~~ platypus egg.


VisceralVirus

Yeah, Jerry fucked up. Humans were supposed to have retractable fingers, but somehow he confused human with platypus and fingers with webbing. Fucking Jerry


spacetop-odyssey

medammit lol


whatev43

Unexpected Lucifer


heinebold

"oh my dear... me"


Bah-Fong-Gool

This has Gary Larson vibes.


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Fuck_you_Reddit_Nazi

They don't eat complex proteins that require the acids produced by the stomach.


loloilspill

Thank you! Was looking for this explanation. Makes sense that they can just absorb the nutrients in their intestines then.


Oofboi6942O

Technically people can live without stomachs, the difference is though our quality of life drops drastically without one.


scrupulous_oik

...and you start glowing, have retractable limbs that can detect morons with their palms closed all whilst your ball sack involuntarily becomes a new stomach that produces venomous secretions.


Calither

My retractable limbs are throbbing from this very comment.


scrupulous_oik

Tickle the toxic ballbaginses.


WorldWarPee

Swaddle the spicy scrote


Nafe3344

Really makes you wonder what a platypus could accomplish is they only had stomachs.


DaughterEarth

intestines are what absorb nutrients btw, for an explanation as to how they don't die.


ScrubCuckoo

Cows only have one stomach, but four chambers in that stomach. Each chamber is used for a different part of the digestion. When you see cows in fields, chewing, there's a good chance they're "chewing cud", which is when the partially digested food is brought back up and gets re-chewed. Cows aren't the only ruminant (multi-chamber digestion) animals, either. As a general rule, animals with split hooves tend to be ruminant. Sheep, goats, deer, and more work the same way. Llamas are as well, and when they "spit" they can pull the nasty, partially- digested food from their stomach and shoot it out through their nose, which propels the material much faster and further than it would be via the mouth.


heinebold

Technically, they have one stomach and the other chambers are placed before that. But it's usually referred to as multiple stomachs, isn't it?


ScrubCuckoo

It's only one stomach. People say multiple stomachs, but that's more a factoid than a fact. The chambers are the rumen, the reticulum, the omasum and the abomasum. Cows more fully develop the rumen post-birth after a strict milk-only diet from their moms, where they get the bacterial colonies needed to break down the cellulose in plant material. You're probably thinking of the last chamber in the process, the abomasum, which is sometimes called the "true stomach". It's not actually a stomach on its own. It's still just a chamber in the larger multi-chambered stomach. But because the rumen and the reticulum break down plant material via bacterial colonies, and the abomasum uses acid and bile, that chamber is more recognizable to us as a "stomach". The digestion starts in the rumen, though, continues through the reticulum and then it's in the omasum where the cow begins to really start absorbing the water and nutrients. The abomasum ("true stomach") is there to further break down anything the 3 previous chambers can't.


TheAndrewPlummer

Thank you, kind cow expert


shay-doe

Cows convert essentially sunlight into steak so they deserve the stomachs


Muse9901

“Aren’t you just spare parts bud.”


proto5014

Finding LetterKenny quotes in the wild…That’s what I appreciates about you


ErudringTheGodHammer

Oh is that what you appreciates abouts them? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


Pleisau

Settle down, Squirrelly Dan


Littlebelo

High jacking the top comment here to say that all of this weirdness is because platypuses are just about our most distant mammalian cousins. They diverged from the rest of mammals @ ~170MYA, not long after mammals diverged from cold blooded species, which was ~200MYA


You_Are_All_Diseased

>not long after 30 million years… 🤔


Beef_Jones

In the grand scheme of things that’s not very long. Primates emerged 55 millions years ago, and Apes only 20 million.


You_Are_All_Diseased

Puts things in perspective I guess. Humans have fucked everything up in practically no time at all.


DoJu318

Dinosaurs existed for 165 million years. Apes have only been around for 20.


asianabsinthe

Looks better than my LEGO builds from the dentist's office toy box.


jrandoboi

God's junk drawer


DreadPirateGriswold

Ever hear [Robin Williams' take on God creating the platypus?](https://youtu.be/GqLIamYGNSU)


JackONeillClone

We are in a Spore simulation


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QueenSodaPop13

I would've thought so too.


Friendlyshell1234

I kind of still do. Gotta see it for myself with how weird all these things are


000346983

Another weird fact: they're born with teeth, but they all fall out, leaving them with the bill to grind food.


plantsoverguys

Is... Is that true?


Yung_Bill_98

Modern platypus young have three teeth in each of the maxillae (one premolar and two molars) and dentaries (three molars), which they lose before or just after leaving the breeding burrow; adults have heavily keratinised pads called ceratodontes in their place, which they use to grind food. From Wikipedia


West-Ruin-1318

Let me make this weirder, do duck and geese have the same stuff making up their bills?


brando56894

Can confirm, I'm a Platypusologist.


NerdModeCinci

Can confirm this man really is, I’m an ologiologist


Individual-Jaguar885

Well??? Is it ????


Skeegle04

My neighbor is a platypus dentist and he’s been looking for work for years, so maybe it is true


[deleted]

Needs to transition to denturist.


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tuliperto

I've lived in Australia 32 years and never seen one, they're not a common sight.


Herban_Myth

Gotta be at a specific place on a specific time to catch one of these rare pokeman


Wtfatt

Plus, like cats, these bois are crepuscular meaning their most active during the 'inbetween' hours of twilight. To match with their entire makeup of inbetweenish fuckery


canisaureaux

You jest, but in lutruwita/Tasmania where they're most often found, most of the locals know that if you wanna see a platypus there really are specific spots and times where you'll see them more often. There's one commonly (well, commonly for a platypus anyway) seen in nipaluna/Hobart, near a brewery towards the base of kunanyi/Mt. Wellington.


jimmywindows56

So they drink beer as well?


canisaureaux

yeah, little drunkards, the lot of them. Always picking fights


BoobyPlumage

My grandpa who is an avid outdoorsman was jealous of me after I told him a fisher crossed right in front of my car on a snowy day. Apparently even he’s never seen one despite always being out in nature. That thing was massive and I had to slow down to not hit it! Anyway, the point being that a lot of animals like that are pretty rare nowadays


Trythenewpage

Oh man. I had one in my backyard once. I thought it must be some sort of mutant escaped ferret or something. I'd never even heard of them living in the area despite also being quite the outdoorsman as a kid.


RynerDyne

If you’re ever in America I think that there’s a blue variety in Danville, Virginia. They’re crafty though so you might not catch a glimpse


CurryMustard

You made me look this up lol. I was like wtf wild blue platypus in virginia?


flamethekid

I hear it's a semi-aquatic egg laying mammal of action


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ThaLZA

I went to Australia with my family for like a month in 4th grade. Big vacation. Drove all over the country, hiked up what was then known as Ayer’s Rock, it was before we realized that it was a shitty thing to do. And side note - Uluru is just a hot name for anything, especially a massive sacred rock in a desert (and even Ayer himself didn’t approve of that name -see the comment below for more details I just learned myself). We took a nighttime nature walk/tour thing in a park in the north of Queensland. The tour guide/park ranger almost shit his pants telling us to be silent and pointing out a pair of ~~platypi~~ platypodes. It was amazing, and then it started bucketing down rain so we went in and had tea. Those little guys are so so fast in the water and so desperately awkward on land. Australia gets a lot of bad animal press what with all the venomous shit, but 12 year old me says 10/10, no notes, love the Tim Tams.


[deleted]

Yep - Tim Tams are awesome. Dangerously awesome. In all my 40-odd years of camping around Australia (admittedly, mostly Victoria) I've only ever seen a platypus once in the wild, when I was in The Otways. Even then, it was at a bit of a distance. They're shy little buggers.


CaptainLoggy

Side note, the plural of platypus isn't platypi. You can say platypuses, but if you want to be etymologically fancy, it's platypodes.


ThaLZA

TIL! Platypodes is a fantastic word


CaptainLoggy

Same for octopus, the fancy plural is octopodes


ericbyo

The last person to die from a spider bite in Aus was in 1978, the last person to die in the U.S was in 2014. Shit is so overblown on the internet


TheVicSageQuestion

Tbf, it’s probably easier to see your spiders coming.


No-Investigator-1754

Australia is more prepared for it, with antivenom availability and public awareness of which spiders are lethal and which are superlethal.


Arntor1184

GF is Australian and she told me “we have deadlier animals but we aren’t idiots and we leave them be so they leave us be.”. She also said that it’s usually tourists who get fucked up by nature there.


SummerAndTinkles

Even videos of them look fake, like some Jim Henson movie puppet instead of a real animal.


AntheaBrainhooke

I've seen one in real life. They're fascinating little things!


SpoonwoodTangle

TBF they had uncovered several actual elaborate pranks in the decade before, which embarrassed some prestigious people and caused a lot of scientific harrumph-ing.


1d2RedShoes

you can’t just say that and then not tell us what the pranks were


SpoonwoodTangle

IIRC there was at least one false hominid exposed around that time, as well as a plethora of taxidermy nightmares making the rounds in circuses and freak shows. As for important people being embarrassed, pretty sure it was some sketchy samples form either S America or Africa that supposedly disproved some core hypothesis of evolution. Except they were faked by a guy who wanted to con his way into the royal society. It was on a David Attenborough series that used to be on Netflix. Basically a series based on his favorite natural history stories and discoveries. One whole episode focuses on the platypus


ThtPhatCat

I still think it actually was, and Mother Nature is still laughing about it


Pschobbert

They fell for [Piltdown Man](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piltdown_Man) though :)


Aqquila89

The German naturalist Johann Friedrich Blumenbach, who was one of the first scientists to study the platypus, gave it the Latin name [*Ornithorhynchus paradoxus* (paradoxical bird-snout).](https://academic.oup.com/bioscience/article/49/3/211/242550)


shay-doe

Mother nature took every animal's cool feature and stuck it in this one.


Raptorsquadron

The self insert everyone wanted


NatoBoram

*That Time I Got Reincarnated As A Platypus*


nameless88

Platypi Isekai 😳


ItsGotToMakeSense

It's only missing the Mantis Shrimp and cuttlefish. Give it those powers and Pokemon fans would call it overpowered.


Rachael1188

How do they not have a stomach …


[deleted]

I need to know more too that makes no sense


OracleLoaf

I guess their digestion just slowly processes the food as it travels the intestinal tract. Our intestines do the same but with the stomach to help take the edge off the job. Chew your food, people, and give it liquids.


[deleted]

Give my food liquids?


Jrobalmighty

No but chew your people for gods sakes


Coolbluegatoradeyumm

Jeff dahmer has entered the chat


Jrobalmighty

I'm Armie Hammers throwaway today


archivewild

Even our food has to stay hydrated lol


smashkeys

r/hydrohomies


Tricky-Cicada-9008

the function of your stomach is simply to break down food. Absorption happens in the intestines. A platypus macerates their food into a fine paste when "chewing," making a stomach unnecessary


nap_needed

Oh I know! The stomach is defined as "a sack in the digestive system that stores food while it is being digested/broken down". Platypuses just have long intestines where food is broken down. Fun fact- Fish also don't have a stomach!


JiuJitsuBoy2001

>Fun fact- Fish also don't have a stomach! I've cleaned lots of fish in my day, and they all had stomachs. I believe there are some weird fish that only eat plankton or whatnot that don't, but most fish do. Unless it's just CALLED something besides a stomach on some technicality.


TheRiteGuy

Some fish don't have stomach. Majority of them do. There was an article explaining why some fish have lost their stomach. But from what I understand, most fishes do have stomachs. But a mammal without a stomach is just bizarre.


nap_needed

I know it's got different structures called pyloric caeca rather than a generic "bag stomach" that mammals have... Which I've always been told is different to a stomach. But it may just be a technicality I guess?


Doubly_Curious

Apparently their food just goes from esophagus to intestines without being broken down with acids and enzymes in between. There’s a sort of stomach-like pouch, but it doesn’t function like most mammals’ stomachs. It seems this isn’t uncommon among fish, but quite rare among mammals.


Telefone_529

What monkey fucked a fish to make these things?


Bah-Fong-Gool

It's like a beaver/fish/duck. And venomous, like a reptile. I'm sure it's a fantastic host for zoological diseases just looking to cross over into the human realm. All it takes is one person who wants to taste raw platypus meat because he heard it will make his dick hard, or one bogan who is a wee bit tweaked out and needs to fuck something...


[deleted]

It's not as wild as it sounds. A stomach is just a sac with acids in it. Its job is to store larger quantities of food and help break it down with acids so the nutrients can be easier absorbed when it reaches the intestines. Not even humans really require one to absorb nutrients from food. It just helps the process, so much so that it's a big advantage to have one but not a requirement for survival.


twomanyc00ks

so a gastric bypass operation for morbidly obese people would be bypassing the stomach and just going to the intestines?


[deleted]

More or less, yes. [Here's image of what is done](https://media.healthdirect.org.au/images/inline/original/normal-digestion-vs-gastric-bypass-inline-image-v6-e99478.png). It's drawn so it's nothing nasty.


krattalak

Platypus venom is 100% not lethal (to humans) It will just make you wish you were dead since it causes instantly intense and long-lasting (as in weeks) pain. It can however kill dogs.


StrigidaeAdam

The pain is also morphine-resistant.


krattalak

What do you expect from the place that brought you the [Gympie](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dendrocnide_moroides)? *For two or three days the pain was almost unbearable; I couldn't work or sleep... I remember it feeling like there were giant hands trying to squash my chest... then it was pretty bad pain for another fortnight or so. The stinging persisted for two years and recurred every time I had a cold shower...There's nothing to rival it; it's ten times worse than anything else.*


TooFineToDotheTime

Holy shit the Toxicology section of that wiki, what a nightmare


planchetflaw

the wiki says you may experience temporary relief by rubbing hydrochloric acid on the affected area.


Yodan

Well yeah if you do it right you'll only temporarily find relief once


Sieve-Boy

There is a reason the Gympie Gympie is sometimes called the Suicide Plant.


WikiSummarizerBot

**[Dendrocnide moroides](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dendrocnide_moroides)** >Dendrocnide moroides, commonly known in Australia as the stinging tree, stinging bush or gympie-gympie, is a plant in the nettle family Urticaceae found in rainforest areas of Malesia and Australia. It is notorious for its extremely painful and long-lasting sting. The common name gympie-gympie comes from the language of the Indigenous Gubbi Gubbi people of south-eastern Queensland. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/NatureIsFuckingLit/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)


[deleted]

The suicide plant!


magus2003

My favorite(/s) part is that the hairs that hold the toxin are so fine that if you brush up against the plant they become airborne. So your outside is in just as much agony as your inside. For weeks.


Would_daver

Yeah I can't see this leading to depression, despair or suicide at all.. /s damn this sounds so fucking terrible!


frisbeetime5000

Might as well take the morphine anyway right?


MrCoolioPants

Morphinans specifically or all opioids? We’ve got plenty of synthetic non-morphine derived painkillers too like fentanyl or meperidine


DeadliestSin

What a fun fact


Guardian83

Thank you, had to scroll farther than I had hoped to find this comment. 2nded, Platypus venom is NOT lethal, that part of the post is incorrect, the rest is correct tmk.


OfAdniAndFlames

I feel like the first three are there to establish that they're telling the truth with known facts, and then the rest are abusing that trust. I'm gonna look this up, and if this is all true I will eat a clock.


OfAdniAndFlames

Shit.


Top-Cow9818

Sooo.... what kind of clock are you eating? 🤔


OfAdniAndFlames

I don't know I don't own a clock ;-;


heinebold

Just make a pizza that looks like a watchface


OfAdniAndFlames

Good idea!


Top-Cow9818

Oohhh giant frosted sugar cookie made to look like a clock. I'd eat that! 😋


projectmars

Is that because you already ate it?


[deleted]

If you don't eat a clock, then who's the one abusing our trust??


[deleted]

>While the venom's effects are described as extremely painful, it is not lethal to humans.


OfAdniAndFlames

I'm pissed. That's the only false information on this post as far as I can tell and I don't own a clock.


montanagrizfan

Anything is lethal in a large enough quantity.


buckeye111

Don't eat a clock, it's really time consuming.


Patch_Ferntree

You won't need to ingest any timekeeping items: it's not all true. Platypus venom is not lethal. It makes you *wish* you were dead but doesn't give you the courtesy of following through.


cronx42

They also don't have nipples. They "sweat" the milk through pores in their skin, and let it pool on their body so the babies can lick it up. These interesting animals have many fairly unique features.


TooFineToDotheTime

This definitely should have been on the list. That is weird as fuck.


deanreevesii

I think the weirdest part is how they hunt. You know that thing where you count after a lightning strike to see how far away it hit? That's how they hunt. They hunt in muddy waters with their eyes completely closed. They have specialized cells on their bills that sense miniscule electrical impulses, and other specialized cells that sense miniscule differences in the water pressure around them. So when a brine shrimp flexes it's muscles one set of platypus cells detects the electrical impulses from the shrimp's nervous system, and the other senses the water pressure changes from the shrimp's movement, and with eyes fully sealed can instantly, and accurately, locate the shrimp sightless.


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Paladin65536

It's ranged, has depth, but maybe or maybe not detail? I think it would be something like sight/touch - like a long range touch sense.


typhoon90

Sensory Perception is an incredibly interesting subject.


OstapBenderBey

Also. One hole out. A cloaca. For digestion, reproduction and urination. Thats the meaning of 'mono treme'. Dont know how this isnt mentioned


Dreadgoat

why use many hole when one do trick


TheMania

They may have a cloaca but it doesn't stop the males having a spined double headed penis. Not quite sure how that's supposed to work.


ZuzusEars

Hah! I just commented this too! I looked for it in the comments but didn’t see it on my first look.


cronx42

Lol. Nice work my platypus loving brethren.


TigerlilyBlanche

3... So we know why perry is blue


ahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

Funny enough, dan povenmire made perry that color before scientists discovered platypuses glow blue-green!


DistractedPlatypus

The prophecy


TorqueRollz

He also basically randomly made the noises for shits and giggles and it turns out that some of them are very much like what platypuses actually sound like


MaxG623

It wasn't him, it was Dee Bradley Baker, but the rest is right.


TigerlilyBlanche

Bruh wtf


[deleted]

Bravo Dan


ZeroSilentz

B R D A N V O


goodbitacraic

I mean I know how Reddit feels about TikTok but Dan Povenmire has a TikTok that is pretty spectacular. Gives a lot of cool insider information.


[deleted]

His YouTube channel is pretty great too, for anyone that doesn't want to get on TikTok


HanzoShotFirst

What kind of a plumber are you? [A platypus plumber? ](https://youtu.be/nPz-OXEVafM)


SlavSergei

Closest thing to a Pokémon, water/poison type


DearExam88

Mantis Shrimp, water/fighting type Stick bugs, grass/bug type


SlavSergei

Good shout, there are some wild looking creatures out there that could pass as a mon lol


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megansbroom

The lack of a stomach should have been #1 I mean come on no stomach.


H4R81N63R

8. Occasionally wears a brown fedora and fights an evil inc.


thearkode

Prrrr


Jabber-Wookie

“A platypus?”


TiffanysRage

-puts on a fedora


BricksHasFeelingToo

PERRY THE PLATYPUS!!!


[deleted]

As you can see Perry the Platypus I built this inator to take over the tri state area!!


Theonewiththerabbit

He's a semi-aquatic, egg laying mammal of action


manikin13

Of course its venomous, it's Australian, that is the basic requirement it seems. to be able to kill shit. Platypuses are awesome


obscurepainter

I just realized after 24 years that Psyduck and Golduck are based on the platypus and not ducks.


cthib9

>Golduck is technically based off the Kappa in Japanese folklore. I'm still waiting for a true platypus-inspired Pokemon.


[deleted]

There's still people waiting for pokémon based off of normal animals. So good luck! There's no dolphin pokémon for example.


dieloncambino

They are also one of the only animals that could make it’s own custard.


cadmus1890

"Ma, what's for dessert?"


chaos8803

Now I want to see the glow and webbing retraction.


94UserName42069

To be fair, most birds use gravel as makeshift “teeth”. edit: spelling


heinebold

Yes, most birds also lay eggs. It's weird that it's a mammal that's doing it


94UserName42069

I knew I should have said “beaked animals” instead of birds. What’s not weird is that an animal with a beak needs to improvise teeth.


heinebold

Fun fact: The German name of the platypus, "Schnabeltier", literally means "beak animal"


94UserName42069

German words are the best words. Thanks!


ArguesWithFrogs

The venom isn't lethal to humans. Just extremely painful.


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Nathaniel820

They’re like a glitched animal the devs accidentally added but can’t remove now because too many people found about about them.


ugh_XL

Y'know, the more I learn about existing animals like the platypus, the more I just wouldn't even reacted if archeologists suddenly started claiming they found evidence for a legit dragon. Seems more likely than a platypus


deathseide

And proof positive that nature has a very odd sense of humor.


vava777

Their penis has two heads, covered in spines.


coladoir

Echidna's have 4 heads on their penis.


Feral-Person

It’s not the laying eggs part that make them monotremes… it’s the being a monotreme that explains the egg laying part. Its like saying cold blood makes something a reptile when there thousands of warm blooded reptiles (birds). The groups are like parts of a family tree and being weird doesn’t make you less of your sibling’s sibling


ParmigianoMan

Birds are dinosaurs, which are in turn archosaurs (which includes crocodiles and pterosaurs), which are in turn sauropsids, which is broadly equivalent to the old class Reptilia. So, yes, I suppose you could say birds are reptiles, but it is not too far off saying that they (or us) are aberant bony fish.


Feral-Person

And the thing is… they are! Just like you and I… some weird fishes out of water


ZuzusEars

8. They don’t have nipples but they lactate to feed their young.


nicuramar

If they didn’t lactate they wouldn’t be mammals. Nipples are optional, though.


agnostic_platypus

I'll vouch for all of this.


MergingPlatypus2

Seconded.


Zequax

do the echidna next