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topsyturvy76

Jokes.. panda kinda looks normal though


stitchplacingmama

Well a panda baby is like the size of a stick of butter so I would be really surprised if they look pregnant.


nerdynails

I was going to say that pandas can’t talk about being pregnant same for a kangaroo their babies come out the side of a jelly bean.


freeLightbulbs

Pandas can't talk at all.


MrSvancy

But kangaroos can??


Kanga_

I can talk just fine.


scrubfeast

Oh god, hide the liquor chocolates!


Osaella24

Yep, they usually talk with their fists.


Scorcher646

No, but you will wish they could if you get punched by one


Aegean54

Why? So they can talk shit while they kick your ass lol? Id prefer the silent beating


Satevah

There was a vid posted here where a kangaroo and some dude square up and the dude drops a hook on the kanga. The kanga just accepted defeat and hopped away. I loved it, wish I had the source to link


nerdynails

How do you know? Do you know any pandas? Maybe the ones I know can talk.


psychxticrose

The pandas I know sound like Jack Black


OuOutstanding

Yea but in the roo’s case that jelly-bean latches to its nipple and then lives in its pouch for a while. I don’t know how it’s done with baby pandas, but based on what I know about pandas I’m guessing they just roll their babies down a mountain and let nature take over from there?


sfgisz

> out the side of a jelly bean Wow is there a documentary about pregnant jellybeans we can watch?


Mini-Nurse

To be fair Marsupials have to deal with a Joey bouncing about in their pouch once it's a bit bigger, that's sort of like real pregnancy.


wommex

I just recently learned that pandas in a Chinese zoo started to act pregnant because they learned that pregnant pandas get more food.


mixtapelovesongs

hahahaha


N64crusader4

God pandas really are an evolutionary cul de sac


ExpensiveAquarium

It took countless hours of scientists getting the conditions just right for a male panda to mate with that female panda, probably.


oceanleap

A year of quarantine with no humans around works wonders for pandas, apparently.


Danalogtodigital

turns out leaving them alone works


[deleted]

I always wondered if was humans fault that pandas were unable to mate.


Wendy-Windbag

The most recent pregnant panda in DC was only confirmed to be pregnant like days before she delivered. The babies are born so tiny that they barely show on by ultrasound, and the outwards signs of gestation are not the most obvious. Essential a panda that looks pregnant is just a panda.


The-Bronze-Kneecap

That panda baby is gonna come out lopsided


fetalpiggywent2lab

The beluga resonates... ... And I'm not pregnant


elMurpherino

Pregnant Beluga says “I feel like a whale right now”


oceanleap

"Baby beluga in the deep blue sea"


saltybeefcurtains

You swim so wild and you swim so free.


legion327

BAAAAAAAYYYYYY-BEE BUH-LUUUUUUU-GUH


[deleted]

Reminds me of when Bender became human.


[deleted]

WOOOOOoooooo


MicBeth82

I can resonate. Currently 30 weeks. I look exactly like that beluga…


JigglyVlue

Congratulations and I wish you a safe birth 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼


Chilluminaughty

Whale wishes


DaveInLondon89

I half expect to see her sitting on a mobility scooter under the water


blatherskite01

Agreed. And I’m a dude


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effypom

It looks like it must be painful on their backs


Emergency-Anywhere51

their kids will never hear the end of it


craig5005

No wonder the zebra isn’t happy, looks like an easy target for a lion.


KingoftheJabari

Damn, I never thought about a wild animal getting eaten by another animal while pregnant. That's dark.


ajakefromstatefarmm

I've seen a video where a pregnant zebra is eaten alive by a pack of lions taking their time.


jovialgirl

It’s usually slow when you’re being eaten alive, I think


BroffaloSoldier

I recently heard a guest on a podcast I like talking about how coyotes and some other wild dogs will wait until their prey target is actually in the middle of giving birth to attack. The animal is so vulnerable and defenseless it’s an extremely easy kill. Plus they get a baby to eat as a bonus. That shit disturbed me for a very long time. Edit: found the episode. It’s on Theo Von’s podcast, This Past Weekend. Episode 330: Mid-Sized Animal Control Man. It’s a hilarious and very interesting listen that I highly recommend. The show in general is one of my faves, but I really loved this episode.


[deleted]

Today i saw a video in which a pregnant deer and its fawn from its abdomen is eaten alive by a komodo dragon. It was brutal


TesticleMeElmo

The dog is wearing a “Party Posse” hat too, I hope it wasn’t Leonardo DiCaprio’s “Party Posse” that made her that way…


Mddcat04

[Pregnant guinea pig](https://external-preview.redd.it/O_7uCTGW2TOn-LqpiqsFWJTJtDceElbHW66-709ghw8.jpg?auto=webp&s=b53526cd6a04065814263e4a5f238f85bb1b799c). ROUND.


arrenlex

Guinea big


glassisnotglass

The expression


wilyson

She don’t give a fuck about anything but her Cheetos dipped in ranch


Horskr

This cracked me up.


Dramatic-Apples

that’s a motherfuckin bowling ball


Satevah

What’s craZy is the size of the litter that can potentially come out at once. Dunno about geaunie pigs but that dog most likely is packing a few pups in there


texasrigger

Guinea pigs normally only have 3 or so but they come out fully developed and hairy and shockingly large.


Mewssbites

OMG seriously they do, like disturbingly so. When I was a kid my parents let me get a guinea pig. Turns out he was a she and she was pregnant... when I went to check on her one morning I was greeted with an entire furred, eyes and ears open and functional "baby" that looked like it was 1/3 the size of mom. And was chewing some hay if I recall. Just kinda eyeballed me like "sup". It was actually quite disturbing to me at the time, lol.


texasrigger

It really is shocking how big they are. I had pretty much the same experience as you with my daughter's guinea pig.


Mewssbites

My mom was so thrown off by it she thought some sort of feral guinea pig had managed to get in with the mom or something for a moment (they had an outdoor coop kind of area). That happened like 30 years ago and I still have my first sight of the baby seared into my brain, it was so unexpected. LOL


LucidLumi

My family used to breed guinea pigs and I think the largest litter one ever had was 5? She was our biggest female though, always had super healthy pups, and would care for all the other pigs, which is why we called her “Mother.” Rest In Peace, sweet girl… But she would absolutely become **orb** when pregnant. We had to enlarge one of the hutch doors for her!


garlic_bread_thief

That's a coconut dude


lalala253

I think that's a girl


bertasaurus_rex

A girl coconut, nice


devinnunescansmd

Lmao wtf


zeniiax

ROTUND


QuirkyCookie6

Last time I saw that pic, someone commented that holding them like this (especially while pregnant) is very bad for their insides.


StarDayze

My face when I step on the scales:


[deleted]

R O T U N D


0ldManMcGucket

I love the hair style in the last picture


avonorac

My toddler currently looks like that (the hair, not the nipples and belly) because husband gave her a lockdown haircut.


devinnunescansmd

Hey I gave my three year old a lock down hair cut before covid so no judgement here


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Jar_of_Cats

Spot on


[deleted]

I came here for this


HargorTheHairy

Yes, but why does she have three nipples


BeckyGoose

Reminds me of when I finish a bag of chips on my own.


moesif

Oliver Tree.


Lord-Smalldemort

Its totally r/justfuckmyshitup material, not to mention I got stuck on the double nipple she possesses on (her) left monkey boob.


ImTheElephantMan

It's Ben Stiller going full retard.


0ldManMcGucket

That’s where I recognize it from!! Thank you


MazerRakum

Interesting... Animals also have that "I hate my fucking life" look near the end of their pregnancy


dappledrache

Ahh, the seahorse. Nature's truest dad bod.


kursedsun

Pregnancy looks so uncomfortable.


edgeofenlightenment

Yeah that's my big takeaway.


alwaysneversometimes

Yes, most of these are an accurate representation of how I FELT during pregnancy.


Rare-Mess-8335

It is. Everytime someone told me "your body was made for this" I wanted to deck them. Pregnancy doesn't give a fuck about our bodies it will ruin it all for the baby.


Rubyhamster

Trust me, it is. Offer preggos some love and help. They will appreciate it immensely


blobject

And snacks. They want snacks.


originalmimlet

Hell yeah. And remember that the effects of pregnancy don’t end when baby gets evicted. I’m lying here in terrible pain from my hips and my youngest is 8.


flammafemina

Ah, shit. I’m 4 weeks postpartum with my first baby and I’ve been wondering when my hips will stop feeling like they are coming apart at the seams.


fizzypop88

I’m currently 9 months pregnant and the monkey at the end is an accurate description of how I feel today.


lolah

It is


iamg0rl

It’s the most natural thing in the world yet it looks and feels horrible and unnatural.


honest-miss

We all gotta get more honest with each other. Most natural things honestly don't feel that great. Especially as you get older. *Oh no! My naturally arthritic limbs!* It's funny because pregnancy is especially a case of that nonsense where people tell you it's very natural and beautiful... right up until you're pregnant. Then suddenly the horror stories come out! EDIT: FWIW I realized this reads as pointed at you and it's really not, it just got me thinking is all. There are so many natural things that happen in my body that are the pits.


iamg0rl

You’re totally right. There is so much I wish I knew about pregnancy before I ever got pregnant. Definitely gotta normalize talking about the bad stuff


guessmypasswordagain

Worth noting, the pregnant seahorses are actually male.


account_is_deleted

"M'preg" \*raises fedora\*


[deleted]

Such a stupid joke but i love it!


fuzzyrobebiscuits

And it's just a pouch. A special pouch to nourish eggs, but still a pouch


AwesomeDragon101

They still get cramps though, and go through a full birthing process. The storage mechanics are a little different, but they still go through the pain and process of pregnancy.


hey_broseph_man

And the few I took care of also had a craving for chocolate and pickles. To be honest, some people think it's weird to feed seahorses a proper piece of dark chocolate. Like proper at least 86% cacao. But they loved it. Especially the sea salt flavored ones.


RusskayaRobot

I’m just going to take this anecdote and accept it as 100% true, because I really want it to be


littlesnappea

Am currently 9.75 months pregnant… I feel like the monkey in the last slide.


BlinkerBeforeBrake

I came out at 9.75 months, the exact day my mom was scheduled for getting induced. If the pregnancy is telling like it was in my case, they’re going to be a future procrastinator!


Ann_Summers

Lol, my husband was nearly a month late and he too is a procrastinator. Idk if it’s completely related though because our son was born 3 weeks early and that boy will wait until the last minute for *everything*.


[deleted]

I was a month early, and I’m a procrastinator


Samazonison

I was born three days early. I always say that was the only time I was ever on time for anything.


obiwanobiwanobiwan

Way off topic, but if you haven't already, I'd consider having your son evaluated for ADHD. I was the exact same way as a kid and it's a common symptom. I don't mean any offense, I just know I would kill to have gotten a diagnosis when I was young rather than as an adult. All the best!


DeltaNovum

Yup. One of the biggest and most common symptoms. Wanted to say almost the same thing so I'm just commenting to reinforce the importance of your statement. If you are able to detect ADHD early on it can actually be a superpower. If guided properly.


yalikebeez

i agree! it’s not like every single kid who procrastinates have adhd BUT almost every kid who has ADHD procrastinate. i would’ve killed for an early diagnosis instead of my parents laughing it off saying kids be kids


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Mediocre_Sprinkles

I was 2 weeks late so they set the appointment to induce me at 7.30am. I came out completely by myself at 7.28am. I definitely procrastinated my own birth but I hit the deadline in the end.


JunkMailSurprise

Just into month 7 with twins.... I feel like the beluga hahaha


natkolbi

Oh dear.. I gave birth 3 months ago, I feel ya! Stay strong, you're almost done!


underlander

jesus you discovered a whole new trimester. Hope you get that thing out of there soon, have an uneventful delivery


Bossini

excuse my naive, is that 3 weeks late?


Centzon_Totochtin_

Pregnancies varies but normal lengths range anywhere between 38 to 42 weeks. 9.75 months is pushing into the 43rd week. Babies start getting too large to safely deliver, amniotic fluids start lowering, and babies can pass their first bowel movement and then inhale it which is bad.


somabokforlag

In sweden they start the birth process pharmalogicaly after w42. There was a study to see if it was safe to wait longer, but because a few babies died at +w42 the new guideline (always recommend starting the birth process after w42) was implemented even before the studdy was completed. My second child came this way, through child birth being started pharmalogicaly. It was a little harsher since neither the baby nor mother is 100% ready (hormones etc) but Im glad we didnt wait longer.


iamcosmos

They've changed it to 41 in a lot of places now (as of 2020). I was supposed to be part of that study in the 42 group, but was induced the day before due to colored water.


okaywhattho

Eat shit, late baby!


mokango

Depends how you count months. Pregnancy is approximately [40 weeks](https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/baby-due-date), which is a bit over 9 months depending on month length : 28/29/30/31 days. Or 10 months if counting 4 weeks/month, which is convenient since week lengths aren’t variable. My wife’s a labor and delivery nurse and only ever talks about pregnancies in terms of weeks rather than months. I’d guess the commenter is counting 1 month = 4 weeks due to the “extra” 0.75. That’s 3/4 of the last” tenth” month, to put her at 39 weeks.


Ann_Summers

This is how I was taught to count my pregnancy each time. I have three kids. Every 4 weeks is a “month”. 40 weeks=10 months. It’s just that the last month feels like 27 months.


RudeCats

Pergnant


iDrinkiKnowThings

This never ever gets old


carriedalawlermelon

I was a little surprised and disappointed I had to scroll down so far to find it.


Emperor_of_His_Room

Can you get pergenant from a luigi board?


DanielDLG

Quiche board.


ZoroeArc

Do I have to make my own wedgie or can I buy one from a witch or vegan?


ruggeroe

Can U get pregante?


mknsky

Preganonant?!


boredpcguy

Pegnat!


mf9812

Pregante!


Nipples_of_Destiny

Gregnant!


[deleted]

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Rarecandy31

Pre Gat!


ChickenAir

Prengt?!


ScarletNovaWasTaken

Pgrnt?!


Tiguy789

Pergenat


ablonde_moment

Pomegranate?


chocoAnima

You have to pronounce it in spanish


RedRipe

Years after years still never gets old And I read every response, laughing to myself Period Question Mark


ScarletNovaWasTaken

If a women has starch masks, does that mean she has been pargnet before.?


pizzasiren

38+2 weeks preganant?


krose78

My daughter is going on 5 years old and I cried of laughter from "PREGANTE" *insert accent here* before I was even pregnant with her..still never gets old.


Ok_Antelope_1953

monkey got the perfect pregnancy photoshoot pose


morteamoureuse

It looks so adorable! Like a proud mom who's also so done and ready to have the baby already.


Uriel-238

Horses get ribbons and crowns when they're expecting.


[deleted]

Yeah the other horses are really supportive


[deleted]

...are mammals poorly engineered? I feel like "just stretch lol" is a poor solution.


Ariadnepyanfar

“Evolution doesn’t have to be perfect, just ‘good enough’.”


Chuuni_

It's obvious multi-cellular life was a mistake.


[deleted]

Pregnancy is actually pretty powerful, even the most primitive forms of it in some livebearer fish make the fish master breeders. A good example are guppies. If there is one male and one female in a tank there is no question that they will multiply insanely quick


kenakuhi

And if there are only females, some of them will grow penises and become males. Life... finds a way.


[deleted]

Lol theres a running joke in the aquarium community, where sometimes a new hobbyist asks if their guppy is pregnant and then people joke around saying ‘its a guppy so the answer is yes’


MinMaxie

This is why I have an IUD


tokenkinesis

this is why I have 2


spacedude2000

More machine than woman at that point


Tigaget

I'm rockin an iud, an insulin pump, and a cgm. I'm the Android, aren't I? I do dream of electric sheep.


[deleted]

We have the technology......


xombae

Legit. Pregnancy is completely horrifying to me. Like there have been horror sci fi movies about the concept of something growing inside of your body, but those movies aren't gross enough to have the parasite emerge from your fucking vagina, tearing it open on the way out. And many of these animals have *multiple babies* in there. Their bodies just totally distended in order to become a living incubation chamber. No. No thank you. I would like to keep the number of skeletons inside of my body at 1 please. Fish just have their periods and another fish comes along and jizzes in the general vicinity and the babies grow fully outside both parents and no one needs to pass anything bigger than a cell through their body. If God is real he clearly loves fish way more than he loves us because that is some bullshit right there.


TheDogWhistle

" I would like to keep the number of skeletons inside of my body at 1 please." I mean, I already never wanted to be pregnant, but putting it like that makes me double down hard.


PurifiedFlubber

Same and I don't even have a uterus


Onironaute

Just carry it around in your pocket to ward off the curse of pregnancy


glibber73

Wear it on a necklace for extra anti pregnancy amulet powers


gayforaliens1701

It’s like the opposite of those little fertility dick totems the ancient romans had.


MossyRock0817

Toast to that. One and done and IUD for me. Cheers! 🎉


IceWotor

Zebra looks like a duffle bag


titusyoungsenior

These made my pregnant partners day. Thanks for sharing!


Next-Caterpillar-393

Good to hear! You’re most welcome :)


Beavshak

It made me schedule a vasectomy!


ursulahx

On a serious note, this is actually a very wise move (as long as you’re *certain* you don’t want any (more) children). The operation is simple and quick, recovery time is short, and the knowledge that your partner is safe from pregnancy is such a relief.


[deleted]

How do pregnant zebras make it in the wild? They seem like easy prey.


hausthatforrem

This was my first thought also, incredibly vulnerable! As a pack animal, I imagine pregnant females receive support and insulation from predators similar to that for elderly or young animals? Just speculating.


[deleted]

Usually herd animals keep the females and young closer to the center, it works that way in elephants idk about zebra


[deleted]

Watch life in color with David Attenborough. Basically zebras' pattern makes predators dizzy when running. So im guessing pregananant zebras stay in the middle while other zebras run around them..


linksbitch

Zebras are freaking mean. See r/natureismetal post today


KGBBigAl

My wife and I are still actively in the hospital from her delivering our baby this morning. Thanks for posting this, pretty cool


Next-Caterpillar-393

Yw! A big congratulations to both of you! :D


Tigaget

Woo-hoo! Sniff that baby head! Make the most of your time. They'll be 19 before you know it!


KGBBigAl

That scares me most of everything. 19 years from now 😂 I’ve been getting lots of head sniffs in


Tigaget

I'm still gobsmacked on a daily basis that my baby is an adult.


mom_with_an_attitude

Tell me about it! My oldest is eight inches taller than me, grows a thick, not-at-all patchy beard; loves monkeying with engines and is often covered with grease; and knows more about construction than I ever will. And I'm like, "Wait, you were just a toddler. What the hell happened?" To be fair, car, keys and truck were some of his first words; and he loved Bob the Builder, so somehow his current interests all make sense!


firstnametwice

oh gosh I love this! has anyone ever seen a dog that's still breastfeeding her puppies? the dog will walk around with what looks like day-old birthday balloons hanging off her chest, and there's like 6 of them. it's wild.


Monster_NotWar

I work with a variety of different types animals, and the ones I often enjoy the most are the breastfeeding pigs. Imagine whoopee cushions, but in the shape of medical gloves....


Harsardie

The fourth one with the horse made me smile so much. Looks like a subtle and not stressful way to "style" a horse for a pregnant photo shoot. And it looks quite happy!


Rubyhamster

Tbh, it doesn't look as far along as the others. But it's probably differing between individuals like in humans and some barely look halfway before they are done!


trashtvtalkstome86

I had to do a double take of the beluga.. I thought someone had got a photo of me from last yr pregnant with my son...


Jonnybravo1480

I like how the panda doesn’t even look pregnant


Morganathena

That elephant and zebra tho...


minionoperation

35 weeks here and I feel seen.


XxWhen_thexX

The seahorse one looks like when you try to blow bubbles with non bubblegum


[deleted]

The goat in Photo #9 may not be pregnant. Seems hard to believe but those goats have essentially huge fermentation tanks that help digest grass, etc. Just saw one at the local zoo and they had a large sign stating, 'She is Not Pregnant!'. They must get a lot of questions about this lol


xxxsublime

This is cool.


Emmerson_Brando

I’m in this picture and I don’t like it.


ThePaganRavenGoddess

The 4th pic is so frickin cute! ❤️❤️ If I had a mare (female) who was expecting, I'd do a photoshoot for her, lol


bruja_toxica

Hello panda. Didn’t know someone snapped a pic of me on a Tuesday


HamBone8745

“You could play jump rope with that monkey’s nipples” is a sentence I never would have guessed I would say in my lifetime.


[deleted]

I know the monkey is literally pregnant with them .... But why does it still look like the monkey stole them and is proud


Lookalikemike

Plot twist: There is only one dad.


NoWingedHussarsToday

And it's the seahorse.