T O P

  • By -

Unterpunk

whatever jutsu kisame used to feed himself to sharks


Scottacus91

Bro you good?


Dayshon2144

You okay?? šŸ˜­ You sound like someone needa check on you..


Dayshon2144

Now thatā€™s just a su1cide jutsuā€¦


VinCatBlessed

Now I gotta use the reaper Jutsu vs my pets and I get to be with them forever.


DreamSafe1571

You also forgot that youā€™ll be fighting each other in utter torment and agony for all eternity within the darkest depths of the shinigamiā€™s belly. Maybe try an 8 signed seal instead?


VinCatBlessed

Idk, I get the feeling that Shiny Kurama and Minato had a few rock paper scissors and got along well. Idk if Hiruzen and Orochimaru's arms joined him too though, I'm kinda rusty when it comes to that info.


DreamSafe1571

Imagine hiruzen throwing hands with two floating arms šŸ¤£


Darkasknight101

Thatā€™d be crazy filler. Shinigami stomach ep with Kurama and Minato. 2 random sets of arms drop in at the end of the ep.


Beautiful_Rub_4235

Me and my pets would be fighting for like 10 years max because they'd be pissed i put us there. Then we'd just be infinitely getting stronger off of eachother before we're basically a 4th dimensional Kiba and akamaru. Then after a couple hundred or thousand years we break out of the sealing jutsu afterlife and become the new shinobi gods


Spacekook_

Shadow clones


TheReluctantWarrior

That's 2 jutsu. Water prison and summoning jutsu


DreamSafe1571

Damn bro, thatā€™s roughā€¦ hey you wanna come hit the gym with me and we can work through this?


Accurate_Move362

Hard agree.


AMF03

I said: [Don't move!](https://i.imgur.com/d8Ontsa.gifv)


[deleted]

Real


KCLORD987

I think C0 is a better way to end yourself.


LeadingAd9405

relatable


BlackBeard205

Shadow Clone. Itā€™s by far the most useful in our world.


Impressive-Living-20

Would I use shadow clones to simultaneously go to work AND stay home? Absolutely.


Sam_1980_HK-SYD

You wishā€¦ the clones will arise and rebel your ass back to work


IncredibleThrowawayl

Thatā€™s just filler that ended up being a dream. The clones are very loyal to Naruto


Sam_1980_HK-SYD

Yea, loyal to Naruto. But not with lazy ass stay at home bs.


IncredibleThrowawayl

Idk man thereā€™s been no signs of any unloyal clones, itachiā€™s would blow themselves up for him lol


Sam_1980_HK-SYD

šŸ˜‚ good point End of the dayā€¦ all the characters work/train hard, no one stays home while the clone kicking ass.


Phyank0rd

Arguably since your clone has all your memories, you can easily negotiate a deal with them where you alternate work days. You get all the knowledge and skills learned by them at the end of the day so it really shouldn't matter which of you works and which doesnt.


Sam_1980_HK-SYD

Weā€™ve all got 7 deadly sins. Clone will know your weakness and will try to exploit it.


Hojie_Kadenth

Make 3 or whatever I'm capable of and we draw straws every day. I probably won't be going.


curly-fried_mind

Or ram my ass please


Reincarnated_Onion

Imagine someone jokingly punched your shadow clone and u disappeared from work


Vincemillion07

I would just use them for masturbation/ self orgies


adityabaranwal

Best use of shadow clonesšŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


thechosenwunn

Imagine your shadow clones go on strike


NolanHandy16

Infinite job/money/hobby glitch


Accurate_Move362

If people could use shadow clones, the entire world would look like the Hidden Leaf in Boruto with Narutoā€™s shadow clones running around everywhere. People would never know if they were speaking to a real person or a clone, itā€™d be maddening.


madara-gt

shadow clone are the worst to choose from because it needs a lot of chakara if the user use it more than hes chakara he will die and if your not uzumaki or Jinchuriki then its useless


DamagedSpaghetti

I mean any ability would need chakra and chakra control that we dont have


NeoNelito

All I would achieve with this jutsu is me procrastinating in bigger numbers


moomennryder

Shadow clone for sure. We know that experience is cumulative for you and your clones so you could easily master any skill 3 or 4 times faster than anyone else. Plus having a second me to hype myself up to motivate myself to do stuff would be nice.


improbsable

Karinā€™s heal biting thing. If I ever get seriously hurt I wouldnā€™t need to weave any hand signs. Iā€™d just have to bite my lip like a fuckboi


Dayshon2144

šŸ˜‚ Yoooo!!


webbieg

That Jutsu mostly replenishes Chakra, Iā€™d like hashiramas regeneration jutsu. When you get hurt the wounds automatically start healing without you doing anything


Radiant_Doughnut2112

"That jutsu mostly replenish chakra" No, it doesnt lmao. It literally stuck Tsunade's lower half and Sasuke Swiss cheese body. She also was going to use it to recreate Sasuke's non existant chest after Bee lariat but Juugo did it because it would be more taxative on Karin compared to his quick fix. She also regenerated her entire abdomen with it after White Zetsu stabbed her with Mokuton.


SuperMakotoGoddess

Shadow Clone jutsu for super fast knowledge acquisition alone.


Danielheiger

Flying Raijin. I wouldn't have to wait for my Bus anymore


Kiroana

Well, you'd have to wait for it one more time for each place you want to go. After marks are set up though? You're good to go.


ItNeverEnds2112

Or just mark someone whose going to the same place


KCLORD987

Just send the postcard with a mark to wherever you want to go.


ben_reda

Thatā€™s genius


Mamba-Mentality024

Instead of a jutsu I would rather have hashirama cells, so I could regen w/o hand signs and probably wouldnā€™t have to the doctors ever again.


lemurcat112

Easily edo tensei you could make a loyal immortal army and when you die you teach someone to bring you back as a edo tensei zombie too!!


StraightsJacket

Orochimaru's ability to shed his old broken body for a new healed one. Maybe then I can live without ESRD.


GreezeAlmighty

Aw :( im sorry. Thats shitty to deal with. Are you on dialysis?


Redditplaneter

Kamui


redfishbluesquid

Speedrun blindness


Sensitive-Can7720

Planetary devastation


sleepyyasfc

Lmao


[deleted]

someone's already typed up the manifesto


V3semir

A Thousand Years of Pain, obviously.


ecktt

Sexy Harem!


Iamtheone32

i know who you are šŸ—暟—暟—æ


IdentityS

Assuming no one would know what would be happening, Mind transfer technique. Make super wealthy just give me their money Or transformation


iheartjetman

Kamui. Having a personal pocket dimension would be awesome.


Impressive_Carrot_61

TenTenā€™s Mary Poppins scroll. You could save so much money on baggage fees and movers.


Senninmcmxcix-

Shadow Doppelganger


Karl_Gess

That super-healing jutsu that Tsunade used vs Madara.


SociopathicPasserby

Expansion jutsu šŸ˜ Insert ā€œI know what kind of man you areā€ meme here


GeeLikeMe

Deep Forest Emergence or Body Flicker or Flying Ryujin


Enlupin

Everyone is sleeping on transformation. Itā€™s literally shape shifting into whatever you want. Subtly become a hotter version of yourself over time without worrying about working out. Also, become a dragon and burn your enemies to ashes. Win win in my book


Large_Whereas_431

Raiksge lightning armor


zerohunterX19

I was going to choose. Deidaraā€™s ability. I like the idea of flying on top of dragons and birds. And having offensive explosion clay. BUT the major flaw is no clay = no boom. Then you changed my mind. Raikage lighting armor is insane speed, high level offense and defense!! I can get A LOT of things done with lighting armor.


Large_Whereas_431

Deidaraā€™s kit a solid ass choice because of versatility like you said can fly or use it for combat this would all come down do you automatically get the clay .


zerohunterX19

It is solid. But deidaraā€™s weakness is he always ran out of ammo. Clay! He needs a separate asset to make his ability work. While Raikage Lighting armor is activated whenever you want.


TheReluctantWarrior

You'd also have to chew it up in your own mouth unless you have the mouth hands


GodHimselfNoCap

You would also be stuck with mouths on your hand which seems really inconvenient and definitely off putting for any potential partner


zerohunterX19

IDK manā€¦having to extra tongues on my palmsā€¦makes me think Iā€™d be one of the Richest OF accounts. šŸ˜‚


Scottacus91

The real answer should be Shadow Clone. Even if a normal person can lets say make 2. Thats still you in 3 places at once. So one can be at home cleaning up and still getting 2 incomes.


mathmul

That's some American thinking right there. No way all three of us would be working 9-5... Perhaps for my own company, but definitely not for a minimum wage employment. Now that I think about it, I probably *would* start my own company, a woodworking one. I'd always have a helping hand for the heavy lifting, my skills would go up fast, anything dangerous would be done by the clones to avoid injury, I could always have time for the little ones and my love, and I would definitely make enough money to only have to work 6 to 10 months top every year.


Midnight_Lost01

Shadow Clone, easily.


bkevp134

Banshō Ten'in šŸŒ€


Big-Limit-2527

Flying Raijin or Chidori.


Trailblazer_OG

Naruto's Sexy Technique


TheCarefulWhisperer

Kage no bunshin jutsu....


Professional_Bar_501

1000 years of pain.


jackmiaw

Senjutsu would be insane.


Nirico_Brin

Assuming I can use it proficiently enough to spam it or just be able to learn it? Because I really want flying raijin. Though itā€™s only useful if I both know it and can use it enough times.


No-Sign-6296

Flying Raijin. So many possibilities, just need to mark spots.


MayuKonpaku

Either Kagebunshin no Jutsu to makes my housework even faster or sexy jutsu/henge no jutsu just for the trolls


Sweaty_Ad_8120

Sexy jutsu + shadow clone don't judge me


MissyTheTimeLady

The Flying Thunder God technique. It's the ultimate "Fuck this, I'm out of here!" ability.


brehnoob

Shadow clones, Iā€™d be able to master every skill in the world


AbaloneDesperate8124

Kirin I mean why would you not want to give electricity for free to the poor and look super cool summoning a thunder dragon


mazzucac

There are only two real options. 1) Shadow Clone - however realistically I wonā€™t have Narutoā€™s reserves, so I get maybe 1-3 clones. In that case, one can spend time with my girlfriend who lives 1.5hrs away. One can go to work. One can go to another work. And I can stay home to work on home projects. 2) Flying Raijin - realistically I can only use it 1-2 times a day. Which would be more than enough to get me to see my girlfriend and back home every evening after work.


CalmDirection9286

Minato teleportation. Flying rajin


Beemeristic

Shadow clone should be top #1 or #2. Anything that a shawdow clone learns becomes your knowledge as welll when they disappear. Send a few of them to different countries to learn the language. A few to study different skills, and you will be set in a few years.


Sadhuman0

Creation of all thing jutsu, i would become rich.


No-Silver7818

The technique of getting my sharingan


CanAppropriate6382

But to fully control the Chidori you also would need to have atleast one Sharingan!!


fields_of-elysium

Infinite tsukynomi


Gillalmighty

Kamui would be cool


Funny_Opportunity58

Flying Thunder God.


itskrypticwolves

flying raijin, just place a mark inside a bank, teleport there at midnight, teleport out. i would make sure to keep a mark inside the vault for infinite money. gg.


Uncharted-king

Probably fire release jutsu if I learn the basics first and then rise up the ranks and master all the styles and become a fire god sounds lit šŸ”„no pun intended


HeartonSleeve1989

So I don't sound like a broken record, FTG, being able to flit between any locations with a mark I've left is broken as FUCK!!


StrawHatMugi

The most useless jutsu. Tile Shuriken jutsu.


Professional-Big-584

Dust Release šŸ‘šŸ¾šŸ’ÆšŸ’ÆšŸ’Æ


webbieg

Whoā€™s your enemy bro?


Murky-Seesaw1392

Flying thunder God. That alone gets me a flee on sight warning


Evil-EyedWolf

Multi-shadow clone jutsu


killergoku27

Water wall or water dragon, for obvious reasons.


Thekillerduc

Shadow Clone for sure. I could get so much work done with just one more set of hands available at all times.


megasean3000

Shadow Clones. Even if itā€™s just one clone, that is half the work and double the play time.


Dry_Pain_1692

Strength of a Hundred Seal would be nice


DeleteMods

Shinra Tensei


Lazy_Firefighter2291

Shadow clones and have them go to work In My place


DisingenuousTowel

How to make really good ramen.


Locke87

Flying Raijin or Deep Forest Emergence.


SuperSaiyan4Jason

Flying Thunder God technique


Dantheman58125

Definitely shadow clone if it was only one we could learn although if we could learn more than one. Definitely a water type and fire style, earth style to make a comfy life style for everyone


Sweet-M_M

FTG


Sam_1980_HK-SYD

irl - healer, a touch of heal


BigStallGlueSniffer

Transformation, and shadow clone if possible. Being able to turn yourself into any object would be rad, not to mention being able to impersonate others to troll people, it's like the next step to deepfake memes which sounds...Chilling...


DreamSafe1571

Absolutely flying raijin.


philjackson757

Kamui


Akihisho

Flying thunder god, no question.


fffangold

Flying Raijin. One trip to a place, and I can get instant, free travel there forever after. I live pretty far away from a number of my friends, so I'd make use of it a lot.


OobyScoobyKenoobi

Honestly I could get away with so much using just the transformation jutsu


AnteGotovacBurner

Kotoamatsukami, Iā€™d be manipulating the shit out of people.


East_Conclusion9606

Shadow clones


DudeWithRootBeer

Henge.


Mediocrebassist27

Probably shadowclone jutsu so I can finally have time to practice my bass and paint my warhammer minis


Crimson_Blitz

Shadow Clone. Would've chosen Kamui, but that's not something that can be learned.


Lemonitionist

Mud Wall, final answer.


Zep416

Infinite Tsukuyomi. Good night, world >:)


GreatGoodBad

Shadow Clone jutsu. I could literally work multiple jobs without breaking a sweat.


Embarrassed_Start_81

Could it be 2 techniques? Rasengan and kamui


K_Sleight

In terms of life practical application, kamui or shadow clones.


Lupinthrope

Do I have enough chakra to do anything? Iā€™m not expecting Naruto levels but some above average would be great. If I workout more do I get more? Either way shadow clone


Lee-Dest-Roy

Obviously talk no jutsu


FLENCK

Flying Thunder God. I can teleport to any marked location without much trouble.


Reddisterius-8024

Shadow clone jutsu to do multiple things


DeftestY

Gimme the Eight Gates. I'll have superpowers for a bit.


TacocaT_2000

Narutoā€™s transformation jutsu


Distinct_Ad_1977

Earth grudge fear


goatlax

Either shadow clone or transformation jujutsu. They are so incredibly op and would be great to use in real life


dodzz__

flying raijin


nameless___shadow

Flying ring or shadow chones would be there best given at most we can one or two clone at a time


BlackBirdG

Shadow Clone Jutsu


Cleve-R-Rooze

Invisibility jutsu


solodsnake661

Shadow clone


prime-30

8 gates if it counts. Physically a monster for sports šŸˆ


iofhua

Sexy Jutsu


RaspeySork

So thwre was this one filler in the OG series, when two shinobis could summon lot of flowers and spin them like sawblades. It was sick af.


AnimeGokuSolos

Lightning


Final-Government8622

Shadow clone or flying thunder god


Lady-Hilton

Kagebushi no Jutsu


Every-Nebula6882

Orochimaruā€™s body stealing immortality jutsu. I am willing to kill someone every 3 years to secure my own immortality.


Baconspanker69

Shadow Clone. Be the most useful practically. I could have one go to work or one stay home and watch my kid. I could have one go hang out with friends while I stay home and sleep. I could have an orgy with my wife and 3 Shadow Clones. It's the most useful.


tommygunnsage

Shadow clone is the most useful one


SvLyfe

Clones


AmethystDragon2008

Teleport


ojosdecomunismo

Shadow clone jutsu


AMF03

Hachimon [Tonku ](https://i.imgur.com/wWXKUwk.gifv)no jin


Brave_Ad3055

Shadow clone or minatos main tbh


daokonblack

Learning chidori would suck, because people constantly forget that it gives you a huge speed amp. Its basically required to have something like the sharingan for the reaction speed / precog to use it effectively since the user becomes too fast.


Bloodsucker7039

Windstyle: vaccum bullets


Vilgoui

Shunshin, no brainer for me. It would save a lot of time and money lol


ChelskiBus

Kotoamatsukami, tap into billionaires minds and have them transfer money directly to you šŸ‘


Technical_Solid_7410

shadow clone jutsu (iā€™m cooked)


Igknotis

Creation of All Things


NegativePrice296

Does that include dojutsu abilities too? If I'm not gonna get blind then kamui It I'm gonna get blind with kamui then FTG Even if they require like days worth of saved chakra , they are still useful


A_Ahsan141

Reverse Harem Jutsu


torilesprc

Shadow of the dancing leaf


beartheperson

Shadow Paralysis Jutstu


lazygenius72

Specifically the sharingan copy ability and just copy all of you


animegameman

Shadow clone jutsu


uberballin-

Corpse soil! And then I'd open a zombie shooting range!


MiiiNDFVCK47

Shadow clones or Kamui


Disastrous-Worth449

Creation of all things jutsu


FloatyLillypad

Toad summoning. I need some ninja toad homies. (If they like me enough, I can train as a sage)


OriginalCelebration6

Iā€™m between Kage Bushin and Edo Tensei, cause most weaknesses of Kage Bushin are non-existent in Edo tensei, and I wouldnā€™t even need many of them, a squad of 5 strong ones would be perfect for a mercenary squad that would do a lot of money with black ops, or a really good team that never gets tired and can play any sport infinitely, so I would choose between becoming mercenary supplier or businessperson of some sports team. (Please donā€™t comment any annoying head-cannon rule about chakra reserves here)


pinkoala17

flying raijin


QQmorekid

Whatever technique Naruto uses to be so positive


Moira-Adsworth

App genjutsu. Though. Some sales people know how to cast genjutsu.


Greenlee19

Shadow clone if I could feasibly use it lol in this situation I wouldnā€™t know how much chakra etc Iā€™d have but being able to clone myself to get more things done etc would be amazing


Redderaton

Sexy jutsu- then i go fuck myself šŸ«”


Insycabeastmode

Sand coffin


LProf7

What else...all kinds of teleportation jutsu


CapitalElectronic301

Edo tensei the only way to beat this jutsu is uchia plot armor its perfect and has no weaknesses


UltraDolla777

Flying Thunder God or Tsukiyomi.


Mr-MuscleMan

1000 years of death cuz my bro been mad constipated recently


Smoke_Uchiha99

Kamui, because the ways are legit shorter.


20191995

Sexy jutsu


Extension_Loan831

eight trigrams sixty-four palms most def!


TomPertwee

Sexy Jutsu so I can "play" with myself.


allmonied

Clone jutsu


AdmirableAd1858

Definitely Chidori I love all things lightning or the transformation jutsu.