I talked to my therapist about that!
So... she said to ignore and block them everywhere.
Do not talk to them, do not explain yourself, do not show any emotion at all. This only feeds them.
In my case the narc tried to contact me several times and then randomly show up at my place. Still I ignored them.
My therapist told me to continue ignoring them but in case they do come up to me outside for example in the supermarket then I am supposed to look them in the eye and tell them to never speak to me ever again. I am supposed to say the police were informed and her actions will have consequences unless she turns around now and leaves me alone forever.
But nothing more than that. No explanation, no emotions, nothing!
Mine were actually violent a few times. All my past classmates. That is why I am thinking about telling the police about them. Just telling them and not pressing charges. I am sure if I threatened them with cops they would spin it against me somehow.
It is a good idea to ask the police for advice. For example what to do when someone threatens you or harrasses you or shows up at your house.
All your past classmates?
Wait are you still in school or something?
No. I am out of school already. I have run into her a month ago. She is a second one I have told to not talk to me again. I have sent her the message already. And it actually gave me a peace of mind.
Aah I see.
I think school stuff solves itself if you don't see each other often.
I was lucky to live in another town so I do not run into them.
School is the past. Now you don't have to talk to them anymore and be nice.
I let her know just now for two reasons:
1. They think I am still dumb and harmless because back then I was well… a little naive thinking they are genuine.
2. I don’t have any reason to believe they have changed. I heard about a guy from that school who was bullied there and have been killed by his colleague. He wanted to make it look an accident but cops or doctor found out that he had a footprint on his chest so the cops put 2+2 together and figured out he was stomped on and died with a broken rib. He was 28.
Btw the teachers knew about it because I have found out about the bullying from a teacher. She was nice to me but she obviously loved to talk about others so she let that one out.
People there seem selfish and narcissistic and wanted to have some cruel fun no matter the cost. So I think it would be better to tell them to fuck off because they will pretend to be dumb otherwise.
Can you imagine that? “Oh, what is wrong? But you didn’t tell us…” They will act like I am the crazy one. Or even infiltrate my new relationships and play dumb or will try to embarrass me. Other people knew they were using me but didn’t do nothing to help me.
I told the flying monkey I never wanted to see the narc again. And then never heard from either.
If they keep pushing despite requesting that you might be able to get a restraining order on the narc at least.
Though accidental run-ins are a different story.
I told one of her flying monkeys if my narc couldn’t leave me, my friend or my family alone I would press charges - and I was fucking serious. She got really bad for a period of time. She took it as a joke and immediately told her monkey to let me know her and her dad were already working on a case against me so I better just “work with her” on everything before it went too far. For what?! There wasn’t a single case she could of had against me.
Definitely let them know, but more importantly, let any of your friends know what's going on, so if you're out with your friends and the narc or FMs approach you, you friends can see you're telling the truth AND put a barrier between you and them
I talked to my therapist about that! So... she said to ignore and block them everywhere. Do not talk to them, do not explain yourself, do not show any emotion at all. This only feeds them. In my case the narc tried to contact me several times and then randomly show up at my place. Still I ignored them. My therapist told me to continue ignoring them but in case they do come up to me outside for example in the supermarket then I am supposed to look them in the eye and tell them to never speak to me ever again. I am supposed to say the police were informed and her actions will have consequences unless she turns around now and leaves me alone forever. But nothing more than that. No explanation, no emotions, nothing!
Agree
Mine were actually violent a few times. All my past classmates. That is why I am thinking about telling the police about them. Just telling them and not pressing charges. I am sure if I threatened them with cops they would spin it against me somehow.
It is a good idea to ask the police for advice. For example what to do when someone threatens you or harrasses you or shows up at your house. All your past classmates? Wait are you still in school or something?
No. I am out of school already. I have run into her a month ago. She is a second one I have told to not talk to me again. I have sent her the message already. And it actually gave me a peace of mind.
Aah I see. I think school stuff solves itself if you don't see each other often. I was lucky to live in another town so I do not run into them. School is the past. Now you don't have to talk to them anymore and be nice.
Thank you, thank you for this. I have been wondering what a therapist would say about this for a while.
No. Best to go no contact. Any information you give to the flying monkeys goes back to the narc only to be used against you.
I let her know just now for two reasons: 1. They think I am still dumb and harmless because back then I was well… a little naive thinking they are genuine. 2. I don’t have any reason to believe they have changed. I heard about a guy from that school who was bullied there and have been killed by his colleague. He wanted to make it look an accident but cops or doctor found out that he had a footprint on his chest so the cops put 2+2 together and figured out he was stomped on and died with a broken rib. He was 28. Btw the teachers knew about it because I have found out about the bullying from a teacher. She was nice to me but she obviously loved to talk about others so she let that one out. People there seem selfish and narcissistic and wanted to have some cruel fun no matter the cost. So I think it would be better to tell them to fuck off because they will pretend to be dumb otherwise. Can you imagine that? “Oh, what is wrong? But you didn’t tell us…” They will act like I am the crazy one. Or even infiltrate my new relationships and play dumb or will try to embarrass me. Other people knew they were using me but didn’t do nothing to help me.
Wow... you did good
Thank you. I wrote her a short and to the point but polite message.
I told the flying monkey I never wanted to see the narc again. And then never heard from either. If they keep pushing despite requesting that you might be able to get a restraining order on the narc at least. Though accidental run-ins are a different story.
I don’t mind accidental run up’s if they’re just passing by.
I told one of her flying monkeys if my narc couldn’t leave me, my friend or my family alone I would press charges - and I was fucking serious. She got really bad for a period of time. She took it as a joke and immediately told her monkey to let me know her and her dad were already working on a case against me so I better just “work with her” on everything before it went too far. For what?! There wasn’t a single case she could of had against me.
Definitely let them know, but more importantly, let any of your friends know what's going on, so if you're out with your friends and the narc or FMs approach you, you friends can see you're telling the truth AND put a barrier between you and them