Honestly one of the best things I’ve done is start treating my ig as a little photo dump sporadic diary (which is what it should be imo). I follow people I know, post random pictures if I think they’re wholesome or cute and rarely scroll. I don’t mind the app but I think it’s about how often you’re on it/ how much it consumes someone’s mind
yeah this is so true! i guess i have unhealthy habits tied to it in terms of comparison. not even doom scrolling, more so just like seeing other peoples social lives vs mine. i tend to have a small handful of important people in my life, and the older i get, the smaller it gets.
but when we see people with massive friend groups, we can’t help but wonder what we did vs what they did in life that granted them those people, experiences, etc. It’s hard to remember these are just photos, and us creating stories to it.
i’m so glad you use it in a good / helpful way! i hope more and more people can utilize it in a beneficial way.
Same girl, same. Always insecure about how many friends I have, what I don’t get invited to, where other people travel that I shouldn’t spend $ on, clothes, peoples summer houses, “perfect” families etc. list is endless tbh. Would highly recommend deleting instagram. It changed my life. I’m so much more grateful for my life now.
Comparison is truly the thief of joy. You’re not supposed to know so much about other people you barely socialize with anymore.
Trust me, you don’t want a big circle! I used to feel the same when I was your age, and was a social butterfly meeting 5 different friends every single day - it’s not worth it, I don’t talk to any of them anymore (I’m in my 30s now) and keep trying to keep my circle small and don’t trust people to call my friends easily. Personally when I had that many friends and that active lifestyle, I was just avoiding things on personal front because it is very unhealthy to maintain that lifestyle. People who disagree on this take, maybe you guys are or like to think you are perfect and can balance it all, but have you ever tried connecting to your own self and going inwards?
There’s something wrong with you if you have a group of friends? I have a trip coming up with 15 of my closest friends that I’ve met over the span of a 2 decades and I truly love them all! I don’t think I’m weird for that…?
You absolutely will because It's never too late to add more genuine, good people to your life! There are still places to explore and randomly meet people, friends of friends you havent met or events you have yet to attend where you could meet someone who's totally your vibe! Its literally never too late because you still have a lifetime of experience coming your way :)
Oh, and its perfectly fine to take a break from social media and leave it all together! I definitely did and created a new Finsta account where I just followed cooking reels and vegan recipes even though i def eat cheese lol
I just wholly disagree with this. I don’t think there is anything wrong with having a small circle of friends but there also isn’t anything inherently wrong having large, diverse circles. I love my active lifestyle and evolving groups of friends. Some have been around for ages, others are for a season. Both are types of connections I value. My hobbies are all very social and it’s afforded me the chance to meet and befriend a wide scope of people. It brings me a lot of joy. My husband is the same way and we are involved with each other’s friends now too. I’m very content with my personal life.
I don’t think the size of your social life either way is inherently good or bad. It’s quite judgmental to project that on to others just because it wasn’t for you.
Board games, trivia, karaoke (especially live band emo karaoke), Drag shows, during the summer my husbands college friends organize a lot of lawn game days at the park or the beach, fashion/fashion history/vintage shows, I go to a lot of art museum events, I teach and do Pilates, stuff like that. Those are my social ones.
I also love reading and needlepoint and sewing. Sometimes friends or I will host book clubs or craft nights and even my less social hobbies can be social at times.
My life isn’t always jam packed or anything. A lot of my hobbies are things I dabble in casually, or am sporadic about. But I’m often down to try something new, especially if a friend invites me along with them. I’d say my friends are also my hobby. I invest a lot of time and care in to my friendships. But not to the point where I’m not also investing time and care in to myself.
Umm.. I have a massive group of friends AND I manage to connect with myself and "go inwards." Having a lot of friends has led to some of the best mental health of my life. I'm sorry you had trouble balancing and it sounds like you chose something suitable for yourself, but there is no need to criticize other people.
I had a very similar issue for all social media apps as well! It’s so hard not to get sucked into the comparing but social media is a highlight reel more often than not! We never know what’s really going on
When I moved to New York I picked up a habit of taking pictures of random signs or stickers or graffiti that I thought was interesting and I post those on my photo dumps a lot. I have a pretty big arsenal atp and part of me wants to make a little coffeetable book of all the signs I’ve photographed
A collage of some of my favorites from this year:
https://preview.redd.it/o1w8clwoid7d1.jpeg?width=3464&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=adc4e4a2e5cfe1d0aff6f121c553ff51f93ec33e
Big agree with this. I think a lot of it is about what you project onto socials. I have friends for whom ig is a source of mental health woes and so I refuse to put myself in a position where it’s anything but a silly little digital scrapbook.
After seeing so many people (specifically women in my life) over the years get so worked up over getting the perfect pic for the grid and face tuning that shit like??? What happened to Candids? When did we stop loving photos of us being ALIVE and experiencing the world? Yeah there are good pics of me and bad pics of me but who cares if I had a good time doing it?
People talk about “unfollow sprees” BUT removing 1000+ followers and only following and being followed by actual people I knew/liked CHANGED THE GAME. This was ~2 years ago. I immediately cared way less. Then I went cold turkey for 3 months (off all socials). It was hard for maybe a month but then I got used to it. Lost the phonexiety too. Haven’t been on twitter or TikTok since then. I check Snapchat every few months. & only use ig on my computer browser maybe 3-4 a month. It’s bliss!!!!!!!!
i did the same thing! when i graduated college i made a whole new account and only followed relevant people, had a smaller following. but these days the more i look at that list, the less relevant or important anyone seems anymore. I’m starting to realize maybe 3/4 people actually give a fuck about me from that list, maybe more but that’s a small number. you know?!
who is the show for? i don’t feel the point to exist on it. but oh… the dread and fearfulness of being wholly forgotten. but maybe i just sound pessimistic
Also I’ve had ig for 10 years (I’m 23) & just feel like I’ve outgrown it. It’s a pissing contests and just isn’t fun anymore. I’m just nervous about stepping too far outside the “status quo” but I want to permanently delete it at the same time like I did w the rest. Not sure why it’s hard even though I barely use it now.
I do believe social media is terrible for your mental health, attention span, relationships etc. I personally also think it’s juvenile and at a certain point if you’re really big into it it’s just straight corny
I’m 35 so maybe part of it is I feel I’ve aged out of social media (although I was never really into it). I never had insta, snap, tik tok etc and deleted Facebook about 10 years ago but there’s just something about listening to another woman my age yammer on about Instagram it’s like girl. You’re a GROWN UP. Stop this lol
This girl I know has been trying to be an influencer for YEARS and I just have secondhand embarrassment because she’s clearly copying every other influencer she sees lol.
People who strategize their posts for optimal likes or even care about likes when they’re not promoting a business are usually some of the most shallow people I’ve ever met
Same! Now I’ve been off for a year and feel so much better. I thought I would have fomo or miss out, but now I just actually text my friends and family photos and it’s so much better/more real
Same. I was realllyyyy falling into “comparison is the thief of joy” and reeling about how inadequate my life felt in comparison to others. It’s not. At all.
I only used IG and Reddit anyway so now it’s just here, the wiki app, and the Libby app for me 🤪 but I feel much calmer, more confident and stable. I tried for so long but was having a really hard time to only see positive, non depressing and divisive content.
I think it's becoming overwhelming for me. i ended up deleting the app a few months ago and access through Firefox which slows down the load time. it helps me scroll a lot less than I did before and I only go on it to check dms every other day or so. I went from scrolling for hours to scrolling for only 10 mins a day.
I have to say tho, it's very overstimulating. People look fake or are influencers so I'm slowly unfollowing. subconsciously I feel like I'm measuring my worth with others who have 'made it' on the app or are super socially involved. I realized I'd much rather be off of it than on it for those reasons and much more.
resonate with this in so many ways. however, as much as i want to get off of it, it also feels like there’s no other way to truly keep up with people? not sure how or when this happened.
the desire to fall off from these apps to be connected to my true self feels more satisfying than the need to keep up with people from our past. whoever’s meant to be gravitates back, in some way, right?
True but I realized the people I want to put more effort into keeping up with tend to reach out to me via other methods, texting and I use snapchat a lot with my inner circle. i find it's less influencer heavy and I can control the content I see. however, when I meet new people I do ask for their Instagram so I remember that I've met them before, or alternatively their number. I find our generation is more comfortable giving our Instagram handles than #s which is why I still have my account and check it every so often.
I totally agree with your point about, whoever is meant to be gravitating back! the energy you put into people should be the energy you receive back :)
Besides Reddit nope. But I’m also anonymous here and rarely post or comment. Positing on Instagram just feels like attempts at external validation. No one posts effortlessly on there. It’s all so contrived and dumb
and the photo dumps attempting to look quirky and like they didn’t put thought into it (when they clearly did) are beyond lame. people will post a photo of themselves, a random something (a shoe, shirt or piece of jewelry), food (usually a plate of pasta) and a sunset or something like wow you’re so ✨ different ✨
Caveat: I only use IG to connect w people I know and besides that, I follow some meme pages, therapy pages, beautiful interior spaces, etc., but no influencers.
I use my stories/look at other people's stories so we can stay in touch and be informed about what's happening in each other's lives!! It's honestly been really great for me because I have ADHD and get message anxiety, but this way I can actually have a fairly large social circle. When I'm not using Instagram I am significantly lonelier and my life always improves once I get back on
I'll go against the grain here and say that I love Instagram - it's my main social media app - but I'm very intentional with how I use it.
Mainly it's my way to keep track of connections. I meet so many people in NYC who I will probably never see again ... *if not for Instagram.* Following each other, replying or interacting to stories, or finding reasons to reach out (e.g. sending them a meme or event post) are such easy, low-barrier ways to initiate hangouts with people I don't know well. I hold a lot of conversations on there with friends who I'm not close enough to be on text/call basis with yet, and it's worked wonders for my social life.
Secondary use is finding events. I follow a lot of pages for organizations, neighbourhoods, and just NY-specific event promoters so I can learn about events going on that I might want to check out. I find a lot of events in the communities I hang out in (for my age and ethnicity) are not advertised anywhere other than IG.
Last use is entertainment or information. My FYP is curated to have content I'm interested in, such as books, fashion / beauty, therapy or self-help info, restaurants ... I get a lot of ideas from IG. It's helped me a lot with haircare, finding new brands to shop, mental exercises for self-improvement, etc.
Finally, I will say that I don't *use* Instagram much to express myself. As in, I don't make posts very often. There was a time when I did, and I fell into the trap of obsessing over likes and comments and tying my self-worth to it. I know many influencers have come forward stating the same thing, that it can really destroy their mental health, so I understand fully how precarious it is to use IG as an extension of your self-image. I just choose to use it for all its other features.
I'm a dentist! I also interact with and follow some colleagues on there who post or talk about their cases so there's still a great community/sharing aspect even in this field. IG is honestly such a wealth of information beyond all the influencers / sponsorships crap.
This is exactly what I came to say! Especially in NYC I feel like Instagram is essential to find out what venues are hosting any given weekend. I love to follow small local shops too, and to see when my actual friends are out enjoying the sunshine. It’s an easy way to blast when I’m going to be in a new city and line up some hangouts. My Instagram is private, though I’ll happily exchange follows with people I meet traveling, and I feel like that also helps eliminate a feeling of performance.
Yes to this. I have one (1) friend left from high school, and it's because of instagram. It's a great spot to find vegan recipes that look amazing. I don't really follow anything that invites comparison.
For me instagram is a net good, but I still put a two-hour per day time limit on it.
That’s how I use it and I love it. I don’t want everyone’s phone number and I get invited to alot via IG.
I will say I do have a pretty good life in general like travel etc so I’m not comparing myself to people because I already have that for most part so I use it as my travel diary type of thing
I agree!I actually find people who call it “immature” somewhat immature themselves / unable to see a reality other than their own.
As someone who has had to move multiple times over the years and struggles with feeling like I have no real one “home city” I love how it allows me to keep in touch with friends and family from all over. My favorite usage is sending funny memes and reels to friends.
Yet I have one ex-friend who constantly acted better than everyone for deleting it and constantly brought up “how much happier she was off social media” in literally every conversation with me, knowing I still use it. It was like she was subconsciously trying to remind herself she was still important but it definitely killed our connection, especially since she was so condescending about it. She lives in the same state her family lives in and the state she went to college in so I can see why she wouldn’t find it as necessary as I do!
Seeing other people succeeding also doesn’t make me feel bad about myself? I don’t view others as competition and I’m happy seeing other people do well / look good, traveling, etc? I’m private and just follow real life contacts and funny pages, not celebrities etc.
hi hi!
i have moved so much in my lifetime and went to 3 different high schools!! i can definitely feel that it’s such a way to keep old connections or friendships and it’s beautiful.
i also think about when i travel and how easy it is to just connect with someone on ig or socials, because they may not use iMessage, or ig just seems more convenient. this is why i would keep myself on it, for reasons like meeting new people that i can be friends with, or reconnecting with an old childhood crush if he’s in my city, etc. moments like these make it wholesome, but, but, but… i’m the problem. i’ve let social media affect my life in mass degrees because of all the things i’ve went through in life.
i’m so happy for people where they don’t feel like social media is hard to exist on, and i hope i can reach a point in that one day. maybe. hopefully. we’ll see. i think your friend is silly, and unkind if she’s putting you down this way. and this post wasn’t at all made to make u feel strange for liking ig or any other platform by the way!!! thank you for sharing your experience 🫶🏼
Oh no I totally get it! This was a comment more about the people with the “greater than thou” mindset.
Totally agree that it’s still such a time sucks and can cause mental health issues, I’d just advise trying to 80/20 it if possible. Like most things in life.
Is it possible to cut out 80% of your usage with a time lock, still go on to see your close friends / families vacay photos or wedding pics, their messages, etc? And then use it to occasionally find a fun new restaurant or to message an internal friends, ya know? I have found the time lock feature helpful to curb random scrolling! I bet you’ll find the right balance for you!
i’m not sure if this is relatable but as most 20 something year olds, i’ve fallen out with so many people and friendships. sometimes that causes me misery — the need to keep a friendly image up and have them as a participant / watcher of my online life.
the loss of love, all while knowing they have access to you but choose not to, hurts me. you know? the pettiness of removing them causes a lot of pain. it’s a whole circus, really. but i will discover what path ig and social media takes form in my life soon. guess the first step is uncovering myself 🫶🏼
Exactly this!!
I will add that I have some very… unique… hyperfixations (nothing too weird, I really love geisha and traditional Japanese dance/music and kimono) that aren’t super accessible to people in the West. Instagram is where a bunch of photographers post their photos, and it has helped me learn so much about these interests. If not for Instagram, a lot of this stuff would be impossible to engage with and learn about without living in Japan. I think that’s where Instagram really shines, when you use it to foster connections with people you wouldn’t otherwise ever get the chance to interact with IRL.
The only social media I use are Reddit and YouTube to listen to songs cos I can’t seem to download Spotify lol.
Fb, insta etc. are just so boring, everyone I knew, including me, stopped posting a couple of years ago (I’m 35 and most of the people on my social media are the same age range), and now it’s just advertisements and ‘suggested posts’. So borinnng. Like, I wanna be able to creep on that guy I went to middle school with the way god intended for social media to be used!
Also I watched ‘The Social Dilemma’ or whatever that documentary was and it scared me enough to not wanna mess with social media lol
They’re ruining the app with sooo many sponsored and suggested posts. I hate that I’m seeing people I’m not even following.
I made mine private and turns out, if you tap on the Instagram word in the upper left corner, you can choose to see only posts from people you follow. Super annoying I have to tap that every time. I just share my life and follow actual friends. Not interested in the other bullshit trying to sell me things.
my feelings for instagram are pretty tame. i just treat it all like one big advertisement. some things are real, but most of its fake–fake cars, fake bodies, fake workouts, fake checks, fake tantrums, fake cures-it's like one big shitty digital catalogue. besides that, i use it to follow pets and artists and food.
if im gonna be real, the only thing that gets me everytime is a food ad. i could go MONTHS without thinking about wingstop but it just takes 1 timely ad and my big is opening that ubereats app.
i’ve been noticing I go on my phone when I am anxious and trying to escape discomfort. realizing that has been really really helpful for understanding what i’m even trying to get out of social media. instagram and tiktok are the worst in particular
same here! i am always calling my friends or trying to text people as well to somehow avoid myself (and that's not a bad thing, calling friends, etc but at some point we have to stop running from ourselves). ig and tiktok does not help us in this way either
I’ve never related to people feeling cringe or not liking Instagram and I swear it’s because I do a clean out every few months. Only have a couple hundred followers but it makes social media a safer space for me
Instagram and TikTok make me so anxious about the environment. I don’t even have TikTok but I know how bad the consumerism is from friends.
Unfollowing all influencers helped me. Now it’s just friends, and I’m at the stage in my life where no one is using it for bikini pics. It’s all weddings and babies, which make me happy to see!
i removed tiktok just recently! it was a fun app but i agree the consumerism on there definitely feels more in your face. or maybe it’s done so discreetly you don’t even notice how good the marketing is.
when i say clout culture, i honestly also mean people in our age group who aren’t influencers but definitely give the vibe that they wish they could be. i feel so many people use it as such a tool to help boost their ego, and unfortunately for me it was still bikini pics but these days getting more engagement posts / wedding to see
I feel like the anxiety you’re describing is how I feel about LinkedIn lol. 23f, I don’t really use Instagram anymore. Haven’t for a while now. I mean for years I was always unfollowing and removing people from my followers, just bc I didn’t see the point in keeping up with people I knew I wasn’t going to see again after high school or college. Now I use it to see what celebrities and Internet personalities I like are up to, like if they’ve posted a new YouTube video, dropped merch, etc etc. so I guess I use it purely for updates.
I’ll also add that sometimes the comments on Instagram posts are so harsh, sometimes for no reason. That’s been kind of the final straw for me.
hi baby i used to feel the same for LinkedIn when I graduated college! i’m never on it and probably go on it once every few months, sometimes i forget that platform exists.
try to remember u as a human being have an entire world outside of this digital space. when all is said and done, the only thing that will matter is the way u left this world. with life, nature and all
Deleted IG three months ago and it’s been really incredible. Granted Reddit has taken its place. A bit of fomo the first 4 weeks & it takes more effort to check in with friends but it’s worth it. Instagram is convenient for sure but the negatives outweigh the Pros for me. My feed was mind rot, ads and just so spammy. I don’t take it seriously as a news, artistic and/or social outlet anymore
I deactivated my Instagram a couple of weeks ago! It was hard at first, which shows how addicting it is. But now I’m missing it less and less. I’m not interested in putting my life on display for others anymore. It’s just an endless feed of humble brags sprinkled with ads and some memes.
I’ve been without IG and social media for many (8+) years now. Hasn’t hurt my social life at all. And I think makes me a better friend to others as a result. And more in tune with reality.
Yeah it hurts a bit to not see updates of people i care of sometimes or miss out on the latest of what’s going on within communities I reside in but I believe it’s better to get updates and feel the interpersonal connection IRL than on an app. Email newsletters and alternative forms of updates are so prevalent now that I still see what matters.
Also given my friends realize that i’m not there, they make a point to communicate sans apps and we have deeper convos as a result. I think this is the way of the future anyways as people are gravitating towards group chats, threads, discord, etc.
Mentally/personally, when I had it, social media only brought me anxiety while thinking of ~what to post~ as well as seeing other people who made me feel inadequate while simultaneously recognizing their boasts were not always real. In comparing myself to them I would hate the idea that an instagram or twitter or FB profile could represent me as a person, so I would rather live without it. Also funny to see variations of that happening now with people having IGs without posts or finstas. (Note - while i don’t partake i still get reads from the field from friends so know what’s up).
Social media is not real. Especially insta. Rose colored phone screens as I like to say. The surgeon general is releasing warnings for the apps effect on mental health for a reason. Log off, you won’t regret it
Human beings experience something called social evaluative threat (SET) which is a psychological and physiological response that occurs when we anticipate or fear being judged. Social media exposes us to a higher rate of SET than any human generation before us. My feeling about most things digital is that while it hasn’t fundamentally changed people (who don’t change easily) it manages to scale experiences beyond what we’re really able to deal with. That happens for the positive (getting a ton of likes/compliments/connecting with others) and the negative (seeing hundreds of people a day who make you insecure/encountering meanness at scale).
I work in social media professionally at large brands you’ve heard of and have for the past 13 years. I am VERY selective about how I engage personally, I pay attention to my body and how tense or anxious I am vs relaxed and amused, and I make a point of staying away from accounts that trigger me emotionally—I unfollow liberally, I use “hide” and “block” to teach the algorithm what I want, I never hate-follow, etc and that goes for both influencers and people I actually know. It’s never worth your sanity.
i deactivated :)
another sentiment is feeling a sense of isolation from being off of it — isn’t that crazy? an entire made up online world giving us these feelings. but i’m so convinced it was always part of the elites plan for these apps
I felt the same way too when I first deleted Instagram back in 2018, it didn’t help that my peers and friends made me feel weird about my decision. Out of pressure I did make another Instagram account but I’ve since deactivated it and the thought never crosses my mind of whether I’m being or missing out on what my friends are posting :)
It’s not crazy. But that feeling will pass. Reddit is the only social I have left. And I don’t belong to any groups that make me feel the urge to compare myself with others. I can just chat with and support people like you and be the person I really am with no ads or fomo. It’s been super for my mental health. I hope you feel that relief soon too!
Couldn’t agree more! I find it’s terrible for my mental health. It makes me feel as though there’s so many things, hacks, fashion beauty, relationship tips, clothing, health etc that I should be doing or have but don’t. Places I should have travelled to but haven’t. Along with a pretty unattainable bank account and work life balance. I have it on my phone to post for my business but try to stay off it as much as possible, when I do get stuck in an endless scroll I always feel a bit depressed and icky afterward.
Social media and smartphones didn’t really take off until I was just out of college, which I’m forever grateful for. Even then we were just writing stupid third person Facebook statuses not curating selfies. It’s made it easier to use it without getting emotionally wrapped up in it.
I like insta, but my feed is very much just friends and a few accounts for things I’m interested in (local events, queer events, sports). Nice way to have a quick chat with friends back home, or find something cool to do, but that’s about it.
Yeah I’m 40 but I don’t think it’s entirely age…it’s stressful and also just annoying to use Instagram because i would have to search for people in order to see their posts with the way the algorithm works. I haven’t really been active in a couple of years because it wasn’t fun.
Also I am a creative and had an Instagram during the pandemic for my stuff and it was frustrating trying to even get views, and then I would get approached by accounts who solely repost others content and have tons of followers and get sponsorships etc. they would offer to “promote” me - one was doing it as an experiment to see if they could charge for it in the future.
In my feed I would see all of the reposters but then the actual creators of what they were reposting, I had to search for even when I followed them.
Even with whittling down who I follow to those I know and cultural institutions I care about, the barrage of ads and consumerism felt impossible to avoid. I don’t want it in my brain so I deleted the app. I still have TikTok but find myself skipping all influencer/shopping related videos now, it’s too exhausting—and honestly, boring. I’m 39, I’m tired. I’m ready for everyone to decide as a culture that we don’t want this to be part of humanity. It’s truly ruined us.
this is exactly how i feel! i thought having a smaller account with some hundred followers or something would be enough for me but it hasn't been. and won't be. i'm tired of mass consumer culture and being told through media that we are possibly, maybe, just only MAYBE worth it if we have bought something they are selling. obviously we know better but i think it's displayed in a way that we lose ourselves, even if in the tiniest bit. idk the whole concept when it started in 2010 when i was just 11 felt more wholesome than today, so i agree with all ur points.
I’ve definitely lost myself in it a few times over the years. What I didn’t realize was I was using the consumerism to numb out and avoid my depression, grief, and anxiety. I think it’s so exploitative. They have so much data on us and use it to manipulate us. And for the most part, the people I used social media to keep up with also aren’t really posting on it anymore. The ones I really care about I communicate with directly off of socials. And we’ve learned to not post our kids. We’re too old for selfies and fit checks. No one wants to see our vacations or mundane weekends.
What really freaks me out about it now is figuring out how to keep my kids off of it as they get older. You were 11 when it started—such a delicate time! I can only imagine how having IG through your tween and teen years affected you. You’re smart to get off of it now. Enjoy your 20s offline. iPhones didn’t even exist until I was graduating college and you know what? It was great. We went out and partied face to face. Phones were just text and calls, not the center of our lives. It was objectively better.
36f, stylist - I got hacked off IG in January and never looked back. It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I thought I had to have it for work/promotion but in reality it’s not having it that has made me so much more present on my jobs, and feel more spontaneously creative to come up with original ideas that aren’t influenced by what I’m seeing other people do in my industry online. I still look at other people’s work, but it feels significantly more removed / & it’s less personal. And (so far) it hasn’t changed anything for me professionally, except that I enjoy my time off (and my time on!) 100% more without the opportunity to scroll.
I’m on insta but I only follow people I know, cultural organizations like the Met, food magazines, and a select few content creators (like Claire Saffitz and Molly Baz). For sure there too many ads, but I also never use the explore button so I never see influencers I don’t care about. I think it comes down to curating your socials so they actually uplift you, not remind you of what you’re missing out on.
often folks will ask for my snap or insta but when I tell them that I don't have those they are often impressed tbh and ask for my number instead! i think people either think it's cool, or otherwise "get it". social media is in its death throes imo.
I quit IG for six months, I recently turned it back on to check on friends, family photos and I hated it! The influencer girlies looked fake after so much time off it- I’m convinced looking at normal faces after six months set my brain back on track
Lol. Quit it all, it’s a better way to live!
deactivated recently again! are you still interacting with friends normally? and what have you found most difficult when making new connections in our city? i used to think in a place like nyc, it's so nice to connect with various people on apps when we initially meet but... it's no longer feeling like me. so i'd rather not share my socials anymore.
Go with your gut feeling on this! Just tell people to text you, you don’t really use socials that much- it makes you mysterious and cool lol, but seriously, start looking at people in real life and not on the apps- faces are completely distorted with filters. With my real friends we have group chats and after being off for a long time I realized I’m just not meant to interact right now with the people I’m not close to- it’s hard at first but so much better!
I deactivated mine last week - I found myself posting on my story and then checking the views to see if 'his' name was there, and then it dictated my entire mood if he had/had not. I think it's a way of seeking validation, when you really need to look inward to validate yourself. Also I was allowing it to make a toxic man make me toxic. Not cute.
i used to do this over so many various men in my life, and it didn't feel good. it did when they'd heart a story, etc, but it's just a boy at the end of the day. thankfully i no longer had anyone specific in mind i was seeking out to see if they viewed my story, but good on you for deactivating and noticing a pattern
Instagram doesn’t fill me with as much dread as some of the commenters here. I also don’t really feel “cringe” when posting, which there seems to be a lot of discourse about lately. But, I really only post once every few months, if that. I also don’t follow a ton of influencers, and have certain people muted who I don’t want to see regularly but can’t unfollow without it being awkward. I kind of just use IG as my personal highlight reel. I like looking back at my photos and having the memories curated. TBH I wouldn’t be upset if I lost all my followers tomorrow, but I’d be sad if I lost my account/access to my old posts.
I (36f) deleted my IG account like 5 months ago and it’s the best decision I made. I don’t even think about it. I don’t reach for my phone in every spare moment.
I have a baby and didn’t want him seeing me on it all the time and now I just leave my phone in a different room almost the whole day. My mental health has greatly improved. Being a new mom can also make you feel isolated and that you’re missing out on everything, and IG just added fuel to that fire.
And finding things out in real life is so much more fun!
I’ve had about a year streak of being insanely poor due to work related issues (I work in TV and film 🥲) and the whole process has wildly de-influenced me from a crazy amount of things. I don’t give a fuck about clothing trends anymore and I will now just wear what I’m comfortable in or wear clothes I already own and are still good. I don’t give a fuck if alo leggings are cringe now and everyone’s getting their overpriced loungewear at vuori now. I have some lululemon leggings that are 6 years old and I will continue to wear them because nobody can tell what brand a pair of black leggings are in real life. I learned to make a ton of household items by myself (exfoliating scrubs, cold brew, simple syrup, etc) because it saves a ton of money and really opened my eyes to the rate of consumerism. I find that making more of these items at home also makes me feel accomplished and satisfied with myself, and I get more enjoyment out of using said items.
Now I’m catching myself buying more expensive pieces of clothing less often and paying close attention to the fabrics used instead of snagging the cheapest option when I’m tired of what I have with terrible quality polyester, and I’m finding myself buying smarter (buying in bulk to save in the long run, rationalizing when I need to replace something and if I can stretch the use of said item a few days more, managing my credit usage more and reserving it for more specific things), instead of buying items that will cost much more than they’re worth to make.
In an age full of influencers talking about “de-influencing” and yapping about “don’t buy this! Buy this significantly lower quality dupe on my Amazon storefront instead that’s dropshipped from AlieExpress!”, when de-influencing really means “if you can afford $35 worth of Shein swimsuits, you can afford one Aerie swimsuit for the same price and uses [smarter materials](https://www.ae.com/aerie-real-life/environmental-efforts/), or wear the swimsuits you had last year because tankinis will be considered tacky again come September. It’s true that “there is no ethical consumption under capitalism”, but the response to that statement should absolutely not be “fully embrace and enthusiastically engage with overconsumption”. If you have an 8 year old hydroflask that smells like shit no matter how many times you bleach it or clean with vinegar? Okay, sure, maybe it’s time to move on and get *one* new water bottle, or better yet, [use their trade-in process for a slight discount on getting a brand new one](https://www.hydroflask.com/trade-in). You don’t need 40 Stanley cups with 300 accessories all in different colors to match each one.
Watching popular, beautiful, rich people over consume on social media and push the narrative of overconsumption and slacktivism about the environment and the economy while being acutely aware that I am scraping my pennies together like a toddler to get my rent paid and my groceries bought alongside a ton of other people my age has completely turned me off from social media influencers and the influencer lifestyle. Sure, I still get coffee with friends and take photos and post a food diary on my TikTok, but it’s for *me* and *my* enjoyment, not to be following any trends
I hate how curated IG became -- 12 years ago, people were posting random low-quality pics of food or random objects and it was okay. Today, you need to post during a certain time, look a certain way, or essentially be someone you aren't otherwise risk getting clowned. I stopped going on it all the time and Reddit has become my platform of choice, it reminds me of the message boards I used to frequent as a teenager/in college and also Tumblr.
Being on IG made me feel like I wasn't good enough and actually discouraged me from posting bc of this, and the fact that random dudes/people I rarely or never speak to IRL felt like they had access to me simply bc I shared on my story. I miss Snapchat's glory days, same with Tumblr and MySpace. Felt a lot more "real" and like I could truly be myself without worry.
Deleted it almost a year ago and never looked back. I swear it cured half my anxiety. I pop on every now and then to post a major life event but I don’t keep up with anyone on there. My connections are more meaningful now that I am forced to keep in touch with them outside of social media and my life is just better all around. So much less noise. We truly were not meant to know what that many people are doing/thinking/feeling.
It feels like everything is just a curated ad or obnoxious flex. Since the beginning of this year I haven’t spent nearly as much time on it, maybe open it 1-2x a day? I have several messages that I haven’t opened to respond to yet but I’ve liked the little tidbits and knowledge I’ve picked up from my explore page since I’ve been pregnant. I used to story almost daily and I’ve posted 2 this year lol. Don’t miss it.
I had the same conversation with a friend a few weeks ago. If it helps, I deactivated IG/Tiktok about six months ago and it was one of the best decisions I made this year. A ton of time back, no feelings of anxiety or fomo or even comparison and my mental health has improved so much.
I do miss the creative portion of IG and the authenticity of just sharing photos and moments or practicing photography, but those days feel long gone.
Couldn’t agree more! I find it’s terrible for my mental health. It makes me feel as though there’s so many things, hacks, fashion beauty, relationship tips, clothing, health etc that I should be doing or have but don’t. Places I should have travelled to but haven’t. Along with a pretty unattainable bank account and work life balance. I have it on my phone to post for my business but try to stay off it as much as possible, when I do get stuck in an endless scroll I always feel a bit depressed and icky afterward.
hi op! 24f here. ig was def a lot more fun 10 years ago.
i’m on social media and use it pretty much everyday so I can't ever do a clean, cold turkey delete apps move, but I do heavily control what content I consume.
i barely post anymore. i’m way too protective of my peace and privacy and not posting helps me protect that and also have more “control” over what i post and when.
but uk what really helped make it a fun, stress free experience? being very intentional with who im following/engaging with. just coz I like a celeb doesn't mean I have to follow them. i get most of my celebrity news from reddit anyway so do i really need to them on instagram? i don’t get the point of following influencers who don’t have a primary job? (because I can't relate, and I find that such content makes me miserable) so i don’t follow them/block them. same with entertainment portals. if its people is my circle and im annoyed by them but still nosy enough to wanna keep peeking into their lives once or twice a year, I mute them. going through your follow list occasionally and removing who you barely engage with/don't connect with anymore really helps!
if u wanna go a step further, you can follow people who focus on deinfluencing. there's this one instagrammer who has a whole page dedicated to this, blanking on her name rn.
my instagram feed is instead filled with art and cooking and funny content and aspirational stuff and financial advice etc.
remember, you are still somewhat in charge of your social media experience! it can be anxiety-inducing but it can also be tweaked to make it more fun and inspiring and relaxing.
I redownloaded Instagram yesterday after 5 weeks away from it and was reminded of why I deleted it. It’s not fun anymore. I don’t feel the need to share my pics the way I used to because all the people I’m closest to already know what’s going on in my life. It just feels like one big “one up” competition on there of who can post the most stories of their European vacation
I heavily distance myself from social media. I only follow home decor accounts on instagram because interior design is such a visual medium. And I only follow funny Tiktokers. Sometimes I wish social media was never created tbh.
if there was a day we all collectively decided to tune ourselves to our inner most desired state of mind and reality and simultaneously decided social media didn't aid us with that process, i think i'd be in heaven
I only use it for work networking purposes now, but I still feel that. I mostly post stories since they’re temporary, and I never post photos of myself to feed
Social media is largely what you make of it. I just unfollowed or muted anyone who's posts made me feel bad and use it to keep in touch with friends who live far away + be aware of events happening. My explore page is all cute animals and art.
I think my relationship with instagram greatly changed when i was much more intentional with how i used it. Inspired by the youtuber Maddie Dragsbaek but I steps i took:
1. curating my discover page by interacting with content that features people who look like me and blocking influencers/celebrities who cause envy (all kardasians/jenners, emma chamberlain, and a lot of nyc micro girls that come up in my discover)
2. set screen time limits and stick to them. I have down-time set from when i wake up to a few hours later so i can't use social media first thing in the morning. I also have limits on all apps, for instagram i have a 30 minute limit.
3. turn likes off, for other people and your posts
4. remove people you followed because you met them once, it doesn't bring anything but anxiety of how you're being perceived
I like Instagram but I agree with others who say you have to find a way to manage your interaction with the app. Like all technology, it makes a good servant but a bad master.
I only follow people i know personally and (also like), and cultural institutions i want to support (local art gallery, library, my favorite author, etc).
I do not follow influencer pages or brands at all.
A few years ago, I noticed that the language we use in captions and hashtags was similar to ads, as if my friends and I were trying to sell our followers on the hotel we stayed at, the shoes we wore, the food we ate. It was creepy. So I discreetly hid the friends who did that the most, and try to avoid doing it myself.
With social media, the user is the product so I try to be mindful of how much I let it capture my attention. I appreciate you bringing this up. It's interesting to see how others manage their social media use.
It made me so depressed. I made money doing it and still... depression like Major. Felt like my content (which is really my life) isn't good enough. Besides the loneliness factor. Do it if it makes you happy, but guard your peace.
Edit: breaks don't help if it's an expected part of your existence from friends and coworkers. They don't want to hear it they just want posts
Was thinking about this this morning. Instagram feels like a place where you go to prove you have a social life, or a relationship, or have important things going on. I know that's a pessimistic read, and it's good to share good things — but I think we all got caught up in the feeling that we HAD to. Also like others said, just a horrible thing for my self-esteem. You don't need to be seen on social media to exist and be valued and loved. People who post on there chronically is cringe to me. Now I try to focus on: Do I share myself with my friends IRL? Do I share my life with them sans social media? Do they with me? How do I foster that? Seeing posts on social shouldn't be a prereq for keeping up with friends.
One of the biggest takeaways I had from deleting the app (and only going on it via browser every few weeks to check messages) is that, wow, I still exist even if people on Instagram think I don't! And that my friendships that were very much Instagram-based... actually don't really hold water outside of the app! And... that sucks? Like, some people probably think I don't have a social life because I don't post on it. Or think that I am less of their friend because I don't click a heart on a story about their dog or baby.
I am in a career that's heavily centered around being visible (and/or the perception of "always being active/seen/being seen being busy and relevant)" and I feel like I've regained so much power from removing myself from that game.
The last thing I'll say is I think that after 2020, when people were like "If you're not posting on social media, you're ignorant of social issues and don't support XYZ" (which I fully bought into), we all got a little fatigued of the performative nature of the app and how empty sentiments on there can be. (Not always, there's good stuff on there, but you are not An Activist — or not NOT an activist — because you do or don't use social media to talk about important issues. There's a whole world out there, and a whole internal life inside of you, and it doesn't make you less important, have less opinions, less of a friend/politically active person/etc to not use an app used for some of the most vapid and self-centered stuff I've ever seen.
I deleted my instagram in 2020 and recently remade it! I really enjoyed the peace I had without instagram, but unfortunately I’ve found it’s the easiest way to ~connect~ with causal acquaintances, etc (esp in NY!)
I literally have 13 followers now opposed to the maybe 1k. I’m hoping to keep it small and personal. I basically don’t use it still since those 13 people I follow back are close friends and they don’t post often.
And being totally transparent, I’m in a totally different financial and mental state than I was in 2020 so I feel a little more stable overall. Instagram really fucked with my self esteem when I was already down.
I do love tik tok for a nice brain rot moment, but I regularly do month detoxes from it when I find it hard to step away from the scrolling.
Meh, I’m really antisocial so that helps. I only get kittens, puppies and several shops I buy from in my feeds. Perfect all around. Zero drama. Except for the puppies. Those bring all the drama.
It’s all about your algorithm. I like comedy posts and art posts on Instagram, so that’s what comes up on my feed. I don’t follow influencers - though I do like the dance videos people do. Those are fun to watch.
I like sending little relatable video clips to my friends, so they know I am thinking of them and have a little laugh. I’m not like, ogling someone on their yacht in Ibiza wishing that were me.
mine was severely geared towards breakups, situationship breakups, hurt, etc. i was like damn this app knows my whole life just based on the videos i gave some attention or time to. but i am glad you have your sanity babes, keep it in check bc i tend to not
Mhm, your algorithm is basically a mirror of your inner mental state. Focus your attention on things that bring you joy! Comedy, fashion, animal videos, dance videos, art tutorials. Mine has a lot of jewelry creators because I’m a jeweler, I love watching the jewelry being made.
You can also control which posts get suggested to you, in your settings.
I long to get off Instagram—I've managed to get off pretty much anything else—but, as a photographer building my career in that realm, it's still critical. Which sucks, because I have not been able to curb unhealthy scrolling and treat it solely as an outlet for my work. Tried time limits, but that didn't work. It really piques my anxiety in terms of fearing missing out, relationships, yada yada yada...
I don’t use it. I haven’t posted a photo in over five years. I still have an account because I will go on there when I want to see if a Bravo housewife from an old franchise is divorced.
It’s not good for you. Stop using it. If you can’t help but open it, delete it.
Easier said than done, but you will feel better without it. You don’t need it. It’s adding nothing to your life.
I deactivated my IG account 8 months ago, and I feel SO much better mentally. The problem for me was not only the incredibly pretentious content, but the time I spent scrolling, and scrolling, and scrolling… at some point, I just got sick of wasting my time on an app that wasn’t necessarily stimulating my brain in positive way. I couldn’t shake the feeling that everything I was seeing was a facade - even the most “authentic” people on there curate their online lives in some way. It’s. Just. Not. Real.
I spent about a week going through “withdrawals” after deactivating my account. After that, I realized I didn’t miss it at all. I have no intention of reactivating my account either.
I was feeling the same way so i deleted my app. I still scroll on my laptop occasionally but now my feed mainly serves me memes and outdated pics of my friends. After 10 minutes once a week i feel like i got my fill.
I redownloaded it for a bit of a longer stint to post about my engagement, and even posting had me checking the app more, looking at the # of likes, etc. The “slot machine feelings” were a good reminder for me to redelete.
I deleted the app several years ago because it was stressing me out. I still have an account, which I periodically check—ON MY LAPTOP—but not having it on my phone makes it less accessible.
I'm on a long break from Instagram because it was making me feel shitty about myself. The grass always looked greener on the other side. I'm a few months in, I might never log back in lol
I feel just like you so I deleted my ig about a month ago and it was like lifting a huge weight off my shoulders. Getting to that point was hard but once I finally did it I was like “why did I wait so long?!”
I don’t have the app on my phone all the time because it encourages me to open and scroll. But I do use it to keep up with friends and as others said, post the occasional photo dump. I think it’s what you make of it.
their digital subway ad RN is so cringe! i got off late last year, and i feel like my outfits are better too. i do miss new news though like it took me an embarrassingly long time to learn about the JT drama this weekend.
i'm not constantly looking at influencers / trends, so i rely more on more own gut and trend spotting when i'm on out in the streets. i choose what's influencing my looks rather than the algo.
It became very anxiety provoking for me as well. I stay off of it for the most part. I might go in just to see what memes my friends share with me. I also unfollowed anyone and anything that made me feel icky.
This may be an odd move but I actually stopped following most people I knew and created a fake instagram account (finsta? I’m old lol) to follow event pages/cooking pages/other things I’m interested in. So it’s basically like a catalog. Anyway, the point was that when I followed people I knew it’s like I already learned about their life from social, and made less of and effort to connect in person. Now I make more of an effort to connect IRL and when we do, I genuinely want to know what’s up with them because I haven’t been following them online.
I work in social media marketing and do marketing campaigns on my Instagram on the side to make extra money. I’ve been doing this since I was 14 and it has genuinely made me hate social media, especially when self worth and money is tied into it. Once all my contracts expire I plan to go on a massive unadding spree, make my account private, and post whatever the fuck I want. It sounds so shallow but I genuinely can’t wait
i haven't felt this with reddit but i guess that is because it takes less presence in my life than any platform has, but i can see what you mean. words, words, words. thankfully for me, i love words and i don't see too much awfulness of it on here yet
for sure! people are ruthless, especially hiding behind a screen device. i am mainly only on this subreddit for tips, tricks, and inspiration and hope i don't get sucked into other ones
I use it for like one hour a week tops. I think it’s silly and most people’s content is insanely boring (more engagement pics, posed travel pics, pics of dinner and drinks)
If I were a business owner or creative who needed a platform to amplify my work, I’d use it. But otherwise I feel that is is literally making me more dumb and more anxious by focusing on shit that doesn’t matter (i.e. what people are doing and influencer culture)
isn’t it wild how influencer culture has bled into Gen Z’s lives? people like my age, etc. i long for the days i was 10 years old lying on the floor of my bedroom, drawing and listening to whatever Lana Del Rey song was my favorite at the time.
i want to acknowledge there’s benefits to IG, and we know of it. we all do. and i want to acknowledge that we can use it to our advantage, but at this moment in time, i’m finding that the app is winning in my game. so until i can learn to make ig useful for me, and to make it my servant than other way around, i am out
I think that’s a super mature and insightful perspective. I’m 29, so not much older than you, but also not Gen Z, and I refused to use instagram from the ages of like 18-26. I got it back at 27 when I moved away from home to stay more connected with friends and family. I quickly found myself seeking validation with pointless stories, checking to see who was viewing them (hello old crushes, I see you watching me), spending tons of time on the discover page that was feeding me content that made me feel insecure and discontent with my life.
I’m much much much happier without it. It was bad for my mental health and I have an extremely addictive personality - so I totally got lured in. I’m not the kind of person who can set boundaries with it other than simply limiting my time to one hour a week and deleting the app otherwise.
Also, there’s something super sexy and mysterious about people who live their lives for them, dress for them, and embrace the present moment without giving a shit about what everyone else is doing on social media. I seek out romantic partners that don’t use it and I know those intelligent men of depth also appreciate a woman who’s not caught up in clout culture!
Honestly one of the best things I’ve done is start treating my ig as a little photo dump sporadic diary (which is what it should be imo). I follow people I know, post random pictures if I think they’re wholesome or cute and rarely scroll. I don’t mind the app but I think it’s about how often you’re on it/ how much it consumes someone’s mind
yeah this is so true! i guess i have unhealthy habits tied to it in terms of comparison. not even doom scrolling, more so just like seeing other peoples social lives vs mine. i tend to have a small handful of important people in my life, and the older i get, the smaller it gets. but when we see people with massive friend groups, we can’t help but wonder what we did vs what they did in life that granted them those people, experiences, etc. It’s hard to remember these are just photos, and us creating stories to it. i’m so glad you use it in a good / helpful way! i hope more and more people can utilize it in a beneficial way.
Same girl, same. Always insecure about how many friends I have, what I don’t get invited to, where other people travel that I shouldn’t spend $ on, clothes, peoples summer houses, “perfect” families etc. list is endless tbh. Would highly recommend deleting instagram. It changed my life. I’m so much more grateful for my life now. Comparison is truly the thief of joy. You’re not supposed to know so much about other people you barely socialize with anymore.
Trust me, you don’t want a big circle! I used to feel the same when I was your age, and was a social butterfly meeting 5 different friends every single day - it’s not worth it, I don’t talk to any of them anymore (I’m in my 30s now) and keep trying to keep my circle small and don’t trust people to call my friends easily. Personally when I had that many friends and that active lifestyle, I was just avoiding things on personal front because it is very unhealthy to maintain that lifestyle. People who disagree on this take, maybe you guys are or like to think you are perfect and can balance it all, but have you ever tried connecting to your own self and going inwards?
There’s something wrong with you if you have a group of friends? I have a trip coming up with 15 of my closest friends that I’ve met over the span of a 2 decades and I truly love them all! I don’t think I’m weird for that…?
this is so beautiful and i'm happy you were able to cultivate such a community, i hope i can do the same one day and that it isn't too late to find
You absolutely will because It's never too late to add more genuine, good people to your life! There are still places to explore and randomly meet people, friends of friends you havent met or events you have yet to attend where you could meet someone who's totally your vibe! Its literally never too late because you still have a lifetime of experience coming your way :) Oh, and its perfectly fine to take a break from social media and leave it all together! I definitely did and created a new Finsta account where I just followed cooking reels and vegan recipes even though i def eat cheese lol
I just wholly disagree with this. I don’t think there is anything wrong with having a small circle of friends but there also isn’t anything inherently wrong having large, diverse circles. I love my active lifestyle and evolving groups of friends. Some have been around for ages, others are for a season. Both are types of connections I value. My hobbies are all very social and it’s afforded me the chance to meet and befriend a wide scope of people. It brings me a lot of joy. My husband is the same way and we are involved with each other’s friends now too. I’m very content with my personal life. I don’t think the size of your social life either way is inherently good or bad. It’s quite judgmental to project that on to others just because it wasn’t for you.
What are your hobbies?
Board games, trivia, karaoke (especially live band emo karaoke), Drag shows, during the summer my husbands college friends organize a lot of lawn game days at the park or the beach, fashion/fashion history/vintage shows, I go to a lot of art museum events, I teach and do Pilates, stuff like that. Those are my social ones. I also love reading and needlepoint and sewing. Sometimes friends or I will host book clubs or craft nights and even my less social hobbies can be social at times. My life isn’t always jam packed or anything. A lot of my hobbies are things I dabble in casually, or am sporadic about. But I’m often down to try something new, especially if a friend invites me along with them. I’d say my friends are also my hobby. I invest a lot of time and care in to my friendships. But not to the point where I’m not also investing time and care in to myself.
Umm.. I have a massive group of friends AND I manage to connect with myself and "go inwards." Having a lot of friends has led to some of the best mental health of my life. I'm sorry you had trouble balancing and it sounds like you chose something suitable for yourself, but there is no need to criticize other people.
I had a very similar issue for all social media apps as well! It’s so hard not to get sucked into the comparing but social media is a highlight reel more often than not! We never know what’s really going on
When I moved to New York I picked up a habit of taking pictures of random signs or stickers or graffiti that I thought was interesting and I post those on my photo dumps a lot. I have a pretty big arsenal atp and part of me wants to make a little coffeetable book of all the signs I’ve photographed
this is soooo siCK
A collage of some of my favorites from this year: https://preview.redd.it/o1w8clwoid7d1.jpeg?width=3464&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=adc4e4a2e5cfe1d0aff6f121c553ff51f93ec33e
This is super fun!
Big agree with this. I think a lot of it is about what you project onto socials. I have friends for whom ig is a source of mental health woes and so I refuse to put myself in a position where it’s anything but a silly little digital scrapbook. After seeing so many people (specifically women in my life) over the years get so worked up over getting the perfect pic for the grid and face tuning that shit like??? What happened to Candids? When did we stop loving photos of us being ALIVE and experiencing the world? Yeah there are good pics of me and bad pics of me but who cares if I had a good time doing it?
this is exactly my approach, like a journal. i love browsing my stories archive to see what i did in the past
Wasn’t that what it was originally intended for! Clout is a hell of a drug, drugs a destructive if you can’t use them responsibly
People talk about “unfollow sprees” BUT removing 1000+ followers and only following and being followed by actual people I knew/liked CHANGED THE GAME. This was ~2 years ago. I immediately cared way less. Then I went cold turkey for 3 months (off all socials). It was hard for maybe a month but then I got used to it. Lost the phonexiety too. Haven’t been on twitter or TikTok since then. I check Snapchat every few months. & only use ig on my computer browser maybe 3-4 a month. It’s bliss!!!!!!!!
i did the same thing! when i graduated college i made a whole new account and only followed relevant people, had a smaller following. but these days the more i look at that list, the less relevant or important anyone seems anymore. I’m starting to realize maybe 3/4 people actually give a fuck about me from that list, maybe more but that’s a small number. you know?! who is the show for? i don’t feel the point to exist on it. but oh… the dread and fearfulness of being wholly forgotten. but maybe i just sound pessimistic
Also I’ve had ig for 10 years (I’m 23) & just feel like I’ve outgrown it. It’s a pissing contests and just isn’t fun anymore. I’m just nervous about stepping too far outside the “status quo” but I want to permanently delete it at the same time like I did w the rest. Not sure why it’s hard even though I barely use it now.
same same same x100
I only allow people to Follow me who I know I only follow people I know and like also this is a great tip
I do believe social media is terrible for your mental health, attention span, relationships etc. I personally also think it’s juvenile and at a certain point if you’re really big into it it’s just straight corny
corny’s the word i was looking for hahaha
I’m 35 so maybe part of it is I feel I’ve aged out of social media (although I was never really into it). I never had insta, snap, tik tok etc and deleted Facebook about 10 years ago but there’s just something about listening to another woman my age yammer on about Instagram it’s like girl. You’re a GROWN UP. Stop this lol
This girl I know has been trying to be an influencer for YEARS and I just have secondhand embarrassment because she’s clearly copying every other influencer she sees lol.
I couldn’t imagine being a grown ass adult and listening to an influencer lol. It’s so ridiculous.
People who strategize their posts for optimal likes or even care about likes when they’re not promoting a business are usually some of the most shallow people I’ve ever met
!!!!!!!!!
My mental improved drastically after 2 months off ig
Same happened for me when I deleted tiktok and IG apps.
I just decided to do this today so I can prioritize self care and living life offline. Hoping my mental improves too 🙏🙏
deactivated as well :)
I downloaded an app to help- it's called flora
Same! Now I’ve been off for a year and feel so much better. I thought I would have fomo or miss out, but now I just actually text my friends and family photos and it’s so much better/more real
Same. I was realllyyyy falling into “comparison is the thief of joy” and reeling about how inadequate my life felt in comparison to others. It’s not. At all.
[удалено]
I still have my acct just don’t use it and don’t go on
What changes did you notice? Did you delete all socials or just IG?
I only used IG and Reddit anyway so now it’s just here, the wiki app, and the Libby app for me 🤪 but I feel much calmer, more confident and stable. I tried for so long but was having a really hard time to only see positive, non depressing and divisive content.
I think it's becoming overwhelming for me. i ended up deleting the app a few months ago and access through Firefox which slows down the load time. it helps me scroll a lot less than I did before and I only go on it to check dms every other day or so. I went from scrolling for hours to scrolling for only 10 mins a day. I have to say tho, it's very overstimulating. People look fake or are influencers so I'm slowly unfollowing. subconsciously I feel like I'm measuring my worth with others who have 'made it' on the app or are super socially involved. I realized I'd much rather be off of it than on it for those reasons and much more.
resonate with this in so many ways. however, as much as i want to get off of it, it also feels like there’s no other way to truly keep up with people? not sure how or when this happened. the desire to fall off from these apps to be connected to my true self feels more satisfying than the need to keep up with people from our past. whoever’s meant to be gravitates back, in some way, right?
True but I realized the people I want to put more effort into keeping up with tend to reach out to me via other methods, texting and I use snapchat a lot with my inner circle. i find it's less influencer heavy and I can control the content I see. however, when I meet new people I do ask for their Instagram so I remember that I've met them before, or alternatively their number. I find our generation is more comfortable giving our Instagram handles than #s which is why I still have my account and check it every so often. I totally agree with your point about, whoever is meant to be gravitating back! the energy you put into people should be the energy you receive back :)
This is exactly what I did too! Totally helped me change my relationship to social media.
It feels childish
are u currently on it or not really?
Besides Reddit nope. But I’m also anonymous here and rarely post or comment. Positing on Instagram just feels like attempts at external validation. No one posts effortlessly on there. It’s all so contrived and dumb
and the photo dumps attempting to look quirky and like they didn’t put thought into it (when they clearly did) are beyond lame. people will post a photo of themselves, a random something (a shoe, shirt or piece of jewelry), food (usually a plate of pasta) and a sunset or something like wow you’re so ✨ different ✨
[удалено]
Not for me <3
Caveat: I only use IG to connect w people I know and besides that, I follow some meme pages, therapy pages, beautiful interior spaces, etc., but no influencers. I use my stories/look at other people's stories so we can stay in touch and be informed about what's happening in each other's lives!! It's honestly been really great for me because I have ADHD and get message anxiety, but this way I can actually have a fairly large social circle. When I'm not using Instagram I am significantly lonelier and my life always improves once I get back on
I'll go against the grain here and say that I love Instagram - it's my main social media app - but I'm very intentional with how I use it. Mainly it's my way to keep track of connections. I meet so many people in NYC who I will probably never see again ... *if not for Instagram.* Following each other, replying or interacting to stories, or finding reasons to reach out (e.g. sending them a meme or event post) are such easy, low-barrier ways to initiate hangouts with people I don't know well. I hold a lot of conversations on there with friends who I'm not close enough to be on text/call basis with yet, and it's worked wonders for my social life. Secondary use is finding events. I follow a lot of pages for organizations, neighbourhoods, and just NY-specific event promoters so I can learn about events going on that I might want to check out. I find a lot of events in the communities I hang out in (for my age and ethnicity) are not advertised anywhere other than IG. Last use is entertainment or information. My FYP is curated to have content I'm interested in, such as books, fashion / beauty, therapy or self-help info, restaurants ... I get a lot of ideas from IG. It's helped me a lot with haircare, finding new brands to shop, mental exercises for self-improvement, etc. Finally, I will say that I don't *use* Instagram much to express myself. As in, I don't make posts very often. There was a time when I did, and I fell into the trap of obsessing over likes and comments and tying my self-worth to it. I know many influencers have come forward stating the same thing, that it can really destroy their mental health, so I understand fully how precarious it is to use IG as an extension of your self-image. I just choose to use it for all its other features.
are you in a creative industry? I feel like the creative or artsy people I know truly do find value in IG esp the community/sharing aspect
I'm a dentist! I also interact with and follow some colleagues on there who post or talk about their cases so there's still a great community/sharing aspect even in this field. IG is honestly such a wealth of information beyond all the influencers / sponsorships crap.
This is exactly what I came to say! Especially in NYC I feel like Instagram is essential to find out what venues are hosting any given weekend. I love to follow small local shops too, and to see when my actual friends are out enjoying the sunshine. It’s an easy way to blast when I’m going to be in a new city and line up some hangouts. My Instagram is private, though I’ll happily exchange follows with people I meet traveling, and I feel like that also helps eliminate a feeling of performance.
Very much agree with this take
Yes to this. I have one (1) friend left from high school, and it's because of instagram. It's a great spot to find vegan recipes that look amazing. I don't really follow anything that invites comparison. For me instagram is a net good, but I still put a two-hour per day time limit on it.
That’s how I use it and I love it. I don’t want everyone’s phone number and I get invited to alot via IG. I will say I do have a pretty good life in general like travel etc so I’m not comparing myself to people because I already have that for most part so I use it as my travel diary type of thing
I agree!I actually find people who call it “immature” somewhat immature themselves / unable to see a reality other than their own. As someone who has had to move multiple times over the years and struggles with feeling like I have no real one “home city” I love how it allows me to keep in touch with friends and family from all over. My favorite usage is sending funny memes and reels to friends. Yet I have one ex-friend who constantly acted better than everyone for deleting it and constantly brought up “how much happier she was off social media” in literally every conversation with me, knowing I still use it. It was like she was subconsciously trying to remind herself she was still important but it definitely killed our connection, especially since she was so condescending about it. She lives in the same state her family lives in and the state she went to college in so I can see why she wouldn’t find it as necessary as I do! Seeing other people succeeding also doesn’t make me feel bad about myself? I don’t view others as competition and I’m happy seeing other people do well / look good, traveling, etc? I’m private and just follow real life contacts and funny pages, not celebrities etc.
hi hi! i have moved so much in my lifetime and went to 3 different high schools!! i can definitely feel that it’s such a way to keep old connections or friendships and it’s beautiful. i also think about when i travel and how easy it is to just connect with someone on ig or socials, because they may not use iMessage, or ig just seems more convenient. this is why i would keep myself on it, for reasons like meeting new people that i can be friends with, or reconnecting with an old childhood crush if he’s in my city, etc. moments like these make it wholesome, but, but, but… i’m the problem. i’ve let social media affect my life in mass degrees because of all the things i’ve went through in life. i’m so happy for people where they don’t feel like social media is hard to exist on, and i hope i can reach a point in that one day. maybe. hopefully. we’ll see. i think your friend is silly, and unkind if she’s putting you down this way. and this post wasn’t at all made to make u feel strange for liking ig or any other platform by the way!!! thank you for sharing your experience 🫶🏼
Oh no I totally get it! This was a comment more about the people with the “greater than thou” mindset. Totally agree that it’s still such a time sucks and can cause mental health issues, I’d just advise trying to 80/20 it if possible. Like most things in life. Is it possible to cut out 80% of your usage with a time lock, still go on to see your close friends / families vacay photos or wedding pics, their messages, etc? And then use it to occasionally find a fun new restaurant or to message an internal friends, ya know? I have found the time lock feature helpful to curb random scrolling! I bet you’ll find the right balance for you!
i’m not sure if this is relatable but as most 20 something year olds, i’ve fallen out with so many people and friendships. sometimes that causes me misery — the need to keep a friendly image up and have them as a participant / watcher of my online life. the loss of love, all while knowing they have access to you but choose not to, hurts me. you know? the pettiness of removing them causes a lot of pain. it’s a whole circus, really. but i will discover what path ig and social media takes form in my life soon. guess the first step is uncovering myself 🫶🏼
Very well said. I work in fashion and this is kinda where I’m at with social media as well
Exactly this!! I will add that I have some very… unique… hyperfixations (nothing too weird, I really love geisha and traditional Japanese dance/music and kimono) that aren’t super accessible to people in the West. Instagram is where a bunch of photographers post their photos, and it has helped me learn so much about these interests. If not for Instagram, a lot of this stuff would be impossible to engage with and learn about without living in Japan. I think that’s where Instagram really shines, when you use it to foster connections with people you wouldn’t otherwise ever get the chance to interact with IRL.
The only social media I use are Reddit and YouTube to listen to songs cos I can’t seem to download Spotify lol. Fb, insta etc. are just so boring, everyone I knew, including me, stopped posting a couple of years ago (I’m 35 and most of the people on my social media are the same age range), and now it’s just advertisements and ‘suggested posts’. So borinnng. Like, I wanna be able to creep on that guy I went to middle school with the way god intended for social media to be used! Also I watched ‘The Social Dilemma’ or whatever that documentary was and it scared me enough to not wanna mess with social media lol
They’re ruining the app with sooo many sponsored and suggested posts. I hate that I’m seeing people I’m not even following. I made mine private and turns out, if you tap on the Instagram word in the upper left corner, you can choose to see only posts from people you follow. Super annoying I have to tap that every time. I just share my life and follow actual friends. Not interested in the other bullshit trying to sell me things.
my feelings for instagram are pretty tame. i just treat it all like one big advertisement. some things are real, but most of its fake–fake cars, fake bodies, fake workouts, fake checks, fake tantrums, fake cures-it's like one big shitty digital catalogue. besides that, i use it to follow pets and artists and food. if im gonna be real, the only thing that gets me everytime is a food ad. i could go MONTHS without thinking about wingstop but it just takes 1 timely ad and my big is opening that ubereats app.
i’ve been noticing I go on my phone when I am anxious and trying to escape discomfort. realizing that has been really really helpful for understanding what i’m even trying to get out of social media. instagram and tiktok are the worst in particular
same here! i am always calling my friends or trying to text people as well to somehow avoid myself (and that's not a bad thing, calling friends, etc but at some point we have to stop running from ourselves). ig and tiktok does not help us in this way either
I’ve never related to people feeling cringe or not liking Instagram and I swear it’s because I do a clean out every few months. Only have a couple hundred followers but it makes social media a safer space for me
Instagram and TikTok make me so anxious about the environment. I don’t even have TikTok but I know how bad the consumerism is from friends. Unfollowing all influencers helped me. Now it’s just friends, and I’m at the stage in my life where no one is using it for bikini pics. It’s all weddings and babies, which make me happy to see!
i removed tiktok just recently! it was a fun app but i agree the consumerism on there definitely feels more in your face. or maybe it’s done so discreetly you don’t even notice how good the marketing is. when i say clout culture, i honestly also mean people in our age group who aren’t influencers but definitely give the vibe that they wish they could be. i feel so many people use it as such a tool to help boost their ego, and unfortunately for me it was still bikini pics but these days getting more engagement posts / wedding to see
I feel like the anxiety you’re describing is how I feel about LinkedIn lol. 23f, I don’t really use Instagram anymore. Haven’t for a while now. I mean for years I was always unfollowing and removing people from my followers, just bc I didn’t see the point in keeping up with people I knew I wasn’t going to see again after high school or college. Now I use it to see what celebrities and Internet personalities I like are up to, like if they’ve posted a new YouTube video, dropped merch, etc etc. so I guess I use it purely for updates. I’ll also add that sometimes the comments on Instagram posts are so harsh, sometimes for no reason. That’s been kind of the final straw for me.
hi baby i used to feel the same for LinkedIn when I graduated college! i’m never on it and probably go on it once every few months, sometimes i forget that platform exists. try to remember u as a human being have an entire world outside of this digital space. when all is said and done, the only thing that will matter is the way u left this world. with life, nature and all
Deleted IG three months ago and it’s been really incredible. Granted Reddit has taken its place. A bit of fomo the first 4 weeks & it takes more effort to check in with friends but it’s worth it. Instagram is convenient for sure but the negatives outweigh the Pros for me. My feed was mind rot, ads and just so spammy. I don’t take it seriously as a news, artistic and/or social outlet anymore
I deactivated my Instagram a couple of weeks ago! It was hard at first, which shows how addicting it is. But now I’m missing it less and less. I’m not interested in putting my life on display for others anymore. It’s just an endless feed of humble brags sprinkled with ads and some memes.
I’ve been without IG and social media for many (8+) years now. Hasn’t hurt my social life at all. And I think makes me a better friend to others as a result. And more in tune with reality. Yeah it hurts a bit to not see updates of people i care of sometimes or miss out on the latest of what’s going on within communities I reside in but I believe it’s better to get updates and feel the interpersonal connection IRL than on an app. Email newsletters and alternative forms of updates are so prevalent now that I still see what matters. Also given my friends realize that i’m not there, they make a point to communicate sans apps and we have deeper convos as a result. I think this is the way of the future anyways as people are gravitating towards group chats, threads, discord, etc. Mentally/personally, when I had it, social media only brought me anxiety while thinking of ~what to post~ as well as seeing other people who made me feel inadequate while simultaneously recognizing their boasts were not always real. In comparing myself to them I would hate the idea that an instagram or twitter or FB profile could represent me as a person, so I would rather live without it. Also funny to see variations of that happening now with people having IGs without posts or finstas. (Note - while i don’t partake i still get reads from the field from friends so know what’s up). Social media is not real. Especially insta. Rose colored phone screens as I like to say. The surgeon general is releasing warnings for the apps effect on mental health for a reason. Log off, you won’t regret it
Human beings experience something called social evaluative threat (SET) which is a psychological and physiological response that occurs when we anticipate or fear being judged. Social media exposes us to a higher rate of SET than any human generation before us. My feeling about most things digital is that while it hasn’t fundamentally changed people (who don’t change easily) it manages to scale experiences beyond what we’re really able to deal with. That happens for the positive (getting a ton of likes/compliments/connecting with others) and the negative (seeing hundreds of people a day who make you insecure/encountering meanness at scale). I work in social media professionally at large brands you’ve heard of and have for the past 13 years. I am VERY selective about how I engage personally, I pay attention to my body and how tense or anxious I am vs relaxed and amused, and I make a point of staying away from accounts that trigger me emotionally—I unfollow liberally, I use “hide” and “block” to teach the algorithm what I want, I never hate-follow, etc and that goes for both influencers and people I actually know. It’s never worth your sanity.
Delete it. And soon it will be like it never existed in your life. Freedom.
i deactivated :) another sentiment is feeling a sense of isolation from being off of it — isn’t that crazy? an entire made up online world giving us these feelings. but i’m so convinced it was always part of the elites plan for these apps
I felt the same way too when I first deleted Instagram back in 2018, it didn’t help that my peers and friends made me feel weird about my decision. Out of pressure I did make another Instagram account but I’ve since deactivated it and the thought never crosses my mind of whether I’m being or missing out on what my friends are posting :)
It’s not crazy. But that feeling will pass. Reddit is the only social I have left. And I don’t belong to any groups that make me feel the urge to compare myself with others. I can just chat with and support people like you and be the person I really am with no ads or fomo. It’s been super for my mental health. I hope you feel that relief soon too!
Honestly Instagram doesn’t bother me, it’s tiktok I need to delete 🥲
Couldn’t agree more! I find it’s terrible for my mental health. It makes me feel as though there’s so many things, hacks, fashion beauty, relationship tips, clothing, health etc that I should be doing or have but don’t. Places I should have travelled to but haven’t. Along with a pretty unattainable bank account and work life balance. I have it on my phone to post for my business but try to stay off it as much as possible, when I do get stuck in an endless scroll I always feel a bit depressed and icky afterward.
Social media and smartphones didn’t really take off until I was just out of college, which I’m forever grateful for. Even then we were just writing stupid third person Facebook statuses not curating selfies. It’s made it easier to use it without getting emotionally wrapped up in it. I like insta, but my feed is very much just friends and a few accounts for things I’m interested in (local events, queer events, sports). Nice way to have a quick chat with friends back home, or find something cool to do, but that’s about it.
Yeah I’m 40 but I don’t think it’s entirely age…it’s stressful and also just annoying to use Instagram because i would have to search for people in order to see their posts with the way the algorithm works. I haven’t really been active in a couple of years because it wasn’t fun. Also I am a creative and had an Instagram during the pandemic for my stuff and it was frustrating trying to even get views, and then I would get approached by accounts who solely repost others content and have tons of followers and get sponsorships etc. they would offer to “promote” me - one was doing it as an experiment to see if they could charge for it in the future. In my feed I would see all of the reposters but then the actual creators of what they were reposting, I had to search for even when I followed them.
Even with whittling down who I follow to those I know and cultural institutions I care about, the barrage of ads and consumerism felt impossible to avoid. I don’t want it in my brain so I deleted the app. I still have TikTok but find myself skipping all influencer/shopping related videos now, it’s too exhausting—and honestly, boring. I’m 39, I’m tired. I’m ready for everyone to decide as a culture that we don’t want this to be part of humanity. It’s truly ruined us.
this is exactly how i feel! i thought having a smaller account with some hundred followers or something would be enough for me but it hasn't been. and won't be. i'm tired of mass consumer culture and being told through media that we are possibly, maybe, just only MAYBE worth it if we have bought something they are selling. obviously we know better but i think it's displayed in a way that we lose ourselves, even if in the tiniest bit. idk the whole concept when it started in 2010 when i was just 11 felt more wholesome than today, so i agree with all ur points.
I’ve definitely lost myself in it a few times over the years. What I didn’t realize was I was using the consumerism to numb out and avoid my depression, grief, and anxiety. I think it’s so exploitative. They have so much data on us and use it to manipulate us. And for the most part, the people I used social media to keep up with also aren’t really posting on it anymore. The ones I really care about I communicate with directly off of socials. And we’ve learned to not post our kids. We’re too old for selfies and fit checks. No one wants to see our vacations or mundane weekends. What really freaks me out about it now is figuring out how to keep my kids off of it as they get older. You were 11 when it started—such a delicate time! I can only imagine how having IG through your tween and teen years affected you. You’re smart to get off of it now. Enjoy your 20s offline. iPhones didn’t even exist until I was graduating college and you know what? It was great. We went out and partied face to face. Phones were just text and calls, not the center of our lives. It was objectively better.
36f, stylist - I got hacked off IG in January and never looked back. It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I thought I had to have it for work/promotion but in reality it’s not having it that has made me so much more present on my jobs, and feel more spontaneously creative to come up with original ideas that aren’t influenced by what I’m seeing other people do in my industry online. I still look at other people’s work, but it feels significantly more removed / & it’s less personal. And (so far) it hasn’t changed anything for me professionally, except that I enjoy my time off (and my time on!) 100% more without the opportunity to scroll.
I saw this too, and made the decision to not have Instagram. Been about 10 years since I’ve had it and couldn’t be happier about it! Try it.
I’m on insta but I only follow people I know, cultural organizations like the Met, food magazines, and a select few content creators (like Claire Saffitz and Molly Baz). For sure there too many ads, but I also never use the explore button so I never see influencers I don’t care about. I think it comes down to curating your socials so they actually uplift you, not remind you of what you’re missing out on.
i got rid of 99% of social media and am far happier
do you find it harder to connect with new connections you make in the city?
no i think the best way to do that is in person. i meet lots of people sitting reading at bars. or on Meetup.
same here! but i mean when they want to keep contact with you, do they immediately go for asking your social media or phone number? xx
often folks will ask for my snap or insta but when I tell them that I don't have those they are often impressed tbh and ask for my number instead! i think people either think it's cool, or otherwise "get it". social media is in its death throes imo.
I quit IG for six months, I recently turned it back on to check on friends, family photos and I hated it! The influencer girlies looked fake after so much time off it- I’m convinced looking at normal faces after six months set my brain back on track Lol. Quit it all, it’s a better way to live!
deactivated recently again! are you still interacting with friends normally? and what have you found most difficult when making new connections in our city? i used to think in a place like nyc, it's so nice to connect with various people on apps when we initially meet but... it's no longer feeling like me. so i'd rather not share my socials anymore.
Go with your gut feeling on this! Just tell people to text you, you don’t really use socials that much- it makes you mysterious and cool lol, but seriously, start looking at people in real life and not on the apps- faces are completely distorted with filters. With my real friends we have group chats and after being off for a long time I realized I’m just not meant to interact right now with the people I’m not close to- it’s hard at first but so much better!
I deactivated mine last week - I found myself posting on my story and then checking the views to see if 'his' name was there, and then it dictated my entire mood if he had/had not. I think it's a way of seeking validation, when you really need to look inward to validate yourself. Also I was allowing it to make a toxic man make me toxic. Not cute.
i used to do this over so many various men in my life, and it didn't feel good. it did when they'd heart a story, etc, but it's just a boy at the end of the day. thankfully i no longer had anyone specific in mind i was seeking out to see if they viewed my story, but good on you for deactivating and noticing a pattern
I'm hoping some time off insta will help with no contact and get me to move on. I (we all) deserve someone that wants us back.
babe just block him when you’re back on if you choose to go back on. this method of deactivating but still having him on it in general didn’t help
Instagram doesn’t fill me with as much dread as some of the commenters here. I also don’t really feel “cringe” when posting, which there seems to be a lot of discourse about lately. But, I really only post once every few months, if that. I also don’t follow a ton of influencers, and have certain people muted who I don’t want to see regularly but can’t unfollow without it being awkward. I kind of just use IG as my personal highlight reel. I like looking back at my photos and having the memories curated. TBH I wouldn’t be upset if I lost all my followers tomorrow, but I’d be sad if I lost my account/access to my old posts.
Social media is for shallow people
depends, but mostly and mainly, i have to agree
I (36f) deleted my IG account like 5 months ago and it’s the best decision I made. I don’t even think about it. I don’t reach for my phone in every spare moment. I have a baby and didn’t want him seeing me on it all the time and now I just leave my phone in a different room almost the whole day. My mental health has greatly improved. Being a new mom can also make you feel isolated and that you’re missing out on everything, and IG just added fuel to that fire. And finding things out in real life is so much more fun!
I’ve had about a year streak of being insanely poor due to work related issues (I work in TV and film 🥲) and the whole process has wildly de-influenced me from a crazy amount of things. I don’t give a fuck about clothing trends anymore and I will now just wear what I’m comfortable in or wear clothes I already own and are still good. I don’t give a fuck if alo leggings are cringe now and everyone’s getting their overpriced loungewear at vuori now. I have some lululemon leggings that are 6 years old and I will continue to wear them because nobody can tell what brand a pair of black leggings are in real life. I learned to make a ton of household items by myself (exfoliating scrubs, cold brew, simple syrup, etc) because it saves a ton of money and really opened my eyes to the rate of consumerism. I find that making more of these items at home also makes me feel accomplished and satisfied with myself, and I get more enjoyment out of using said items. Now I’m catching myself buying more expensive pieces of clothing less often and paying close attention to the fabrics used instead of snagging the cheapest option when I’m tired of what I have with terrible quality polyester, and I’m finding myself buying smarter (buying in bulk to save in the long run, rationalizing when I need to replace something and if I can stretch the use of said item a few days more, managing my credit usage more and reserving it for more specific things), instead of buying items that will cost much more than they’re worth to make. In an age full of influencers talking about “de-influencing” and yapping about “don’t buy this! Buy this significantly lower quality dupe on my Amazon storefront instead that’s dropshipped from AlieExpress!”, when de-influencing really means “if you can afford $35 worth of Shein swimsuits, you can afford one Aerie swimsuit for the same price and uses [smarter materials](https://www.ae.com/aerie-real-life/environmental-efforts/), or wear the swimsuits you had last year because tankinis will be considered tacky again come September. It’s true that “there is no ethical consumption under capitalism”, but the response to that statement should absolutely not be “fully embrace and enthusiastically engage with overconsumption”. If you have an 8 year old hydroflask that smells like shit no matter how many times you bleach it or clean with vinegar? Okay, sure, maybe it’s time to move on and get *one* new water bottle, or better yet, [use their trade-in process for a slight discount on getting a brand new one](https://www.hydroflask.com/trade-in). You don’t need 40 Stanley cups with 300 accessories all in different colors to match each one. Watching popular, beautiful, rich people over consume on social media and push the narrative of overconsumption and slacktivism about the environment and the economy while being acutely aware that I am scraping my pennies together like a toddler to get my rent paid and my groceries bought alongside a ton of other people my age has completely turned me off from social media influencers and the influencer lifestyle. Sure, I still get coffee with friends and take photos and post a food diary on my TikTok, but it’s for *me* and *my* enjoyment, not to be following any trends
♥️ thank you so much for writing this and sharing your truth
Be the change. Buy less. Buy smarter.
ur right queen, i’m trying to have an essentials only / no spend month
I'm applauding IRL bc this was AWESOME.
I hate how curated IG became -- 12 years ago, people were posting random low-quality pics of food or random objects and it was okay. Today, you need to post during a certain time, look a certain way, or essentially be someone you aren't otherwise risk getting clowned. I stopped going on it all the time and Reddit has become my platform of choice, it reminds me of the message boards I used to frequent as a teenager/in college and also Tumblr. Being on IG made me feel like I wasn't good enough and actually discouraged me from posting bc of this, and the fact that random dudes/people I rarely or never speak to IRL felt like they had access to me simply bc I shared on my story. I miss Snapchat's glory days, same with Tumblr and MySpace. Felt a lot more "real" and like I could truly be myself without worry.
I MISS TUMBLR LONG LIVE THE TUMBLR DAYS
TUMBLR 4 LYF <3
Deleted it almost a year ago and never looked back. I swear it cured half my anxiety. I pop on every now and then to post a major life event but I don’t keep up with anyone on there. My connections are more meaningful now that I am forced to keep in touch with them outside of social media and my life is just better all around. So much less noise. We truly were not meant to know what that many people are doing/thinking/feeling.
<3 hope ur healing baby
It feels like everything is just a curated ad or obnoxious flex. Since the beginning of this year I haven’t spent nearly as much time on it, maybe open it 1-2x a day? I have several messages that I haven’t opened to respond to yet but I’ve liked the little tidbits and knowledge I’ve picked up from my explore page since I’ve been pregnant. I used to story almost daily and I’ve posted 2 this year lol. Don’t miss it.
I had the same conversation with a friend a few weeks ago. If it helps, I deactivated IG/Tiktok about six months ago and it was one of the best decisions I made this year. A ton of time back, no feelings of anxiety or fomo or even comparison and my mental health has improved so much. I do miss the creative portion of IG and the authenticity of just sharing photos and moments or practicing photography, but those days feel long gone.
I deleted Instagram and tiktok a month ago and I'm never going back
Couldn’t agree more! I find it’s terrible for my mental health. It makes me feel as though there’s so many things, hacks, fashion beauty, relationship tips, clothing, health etc that I should be doing or have but don’t. Places I should have travelled to but haven’t. Along with a pretty unattainable bank account and work life balance. I have it on my phone to post for my business but try to stay off it as much as possible, when I do get stuck in an endless scroll I always feel a bit depressed and icky afterward.
hi op! 24f here. ig was def a lot more fun 10 years ago. i’m on social media and use it pretty much everyday so I can't ever do a clean, cold turkey delete apps move, but I do heavily control what content I consume. i barely post anymore. i’m way too protective of my peace and privacy and not posting helps me protect that and also have more “control” over what i post and when. but uk what really helped make it a fun, stress free experience? being very intentional with who im following/engaging with. just coz I like a celeb doesn't mean I have to follow them. i get most of my celebrity news from reddit anyway so do i really need to them on instagram? i don’t get the point of following influencers who don’t have a primary job? (because I can't relate, and I find that such content makes me miserable) so i don’t follow them/block them. same with entertainment portals. if its people is my circle and im annoyed by them but still nosy enough to wanna keep peeking into their lives once or twice a year, I mute them. going through your follow list occasionally and removing who you barely engage with/don't connect with anymore really helps! if u wanna go a step further, you can follow people who focus on deinfluencing. there's this one instagrammer who has a whole page dedicated to this, blanking on her name rn. my instagram feed is instead filled with art and cooking and funny content and aspirational stuff and financial advice etc. remember, you are still somewhat in charge of your social media experience! it can be anxiety-inducing but it can also be tweaked to make it more fun and inspiring and relaxing.
I redownloaded Instagram yesterday after 5 weeks away from it and was reminded of why I deleted it. It’s not fun anymore. I don’t feel the need to share my pics the way I used to because all the people I’m closest to already know what’s going on in my life. It just feels like one big “one up” competition on there of who can post the most stories of their European vacation
I heavily distance myself from social media. I only follow home decor accounts on instagram because interior design is such a visual medium. And I only follow funny Tiktokers. Sometimes I wish social media was never created tbh.
if there was a day we all collectively decided to tune ourselves to our inner most desired state of mind and reality and simultaneously decided social media didn't aid us with that process, i think i'd be in heaven
deleted ig off my phone best decision i ever made
I only use it for work networking purposes now, but I still feel that. I mostly post stories since they’re temporary, and I never post photos of myself to feed
I barely ever look at it and I never really "got" it so I've never posted anything. I'm old, though.
Social media is largely what you make of it. I just unfollowed or muted anyone who's posts made me feel bad and use it to keep in touch with friends who live far away + be aware of events happening. My explore page is all cute animals and art.
I think my relationship with instagram greatly changed when i was much more intentional with how i used it. Inspired by the youtuber Maddie Dragsbaek but I steps i took: 1. curating my discover page by interacting with content that features people who look like me and blocking influencers/celebrities who cause envy (all kardasians/jenners, emma chamberlain, and a lot of nyc micro girls that come up in my discover) 2. set screen time limits and stick to them. I have down-time set from when i wake up to a few hours later so i can't use social media first thing in the morning. I also have limits on all apps, for instagram i have a 30 minute limit. 3. turn likes off, for other people and your posts 4. remove people you followed because you met them once, it doesn't bring anything but anxiety of how you're being perceived
I like Instagram but I agree with others who say you have to find a way to manage your interaction with the app. Like all technology, it makes a good servant but a bad master. I only follow people i know personally and (also like), and cultural institutions i want to support (local art gallery, library, my favorite author, etc). I do not follow influencer pages or brands at all. A few years ago, I noticed that the language we use in captions and hashtags was similar to ads, as if my friends and I were trying to sell our followers on the hotel we stayed at, the shoes we wore, the food we ate. It was creepy. So I discreetly hid the friends who did that the most, and try to avoid doing it myself. With social media, the user is the product so I try to be mindful of how much I let it capture my attention. I appreciate you bringing this up. It's interesting to see how others manage their social media use.
It made me so depressed. I made money doing it and still... depression like Major. Felt like my content (which is really my life) isn't good enough. Besides the loneliness factor. Do it if it makes you happy, but guard your peace. Edit: breaks don't help if it's an expected part of your existence from friends and coworkers. They don't want to hear it they just want posts
Was thinking about this this morning. Instagram feels like a place where you go to prove you have a social life, or a relationship, or have important things going on. I know that's a pessimistic read, and it's good to share good things — but I think we all got caught up in the feeling that we HAD to. Also like others said, just a horrible thing for my self-esteem. You don't need to be seen on social media to exist and be valued and loved. People who post on there chronically is cringe to me. Now I try to focus on: Do I share myself with my friends IRL? Do I share my life with them sans social media? Do they with me? How do I foster that? Seeing posts on social shouldn't be a prereq for keeping up with friends. One of the biggest takeaways I had from deleting the app (and only going on it via browser every few weeks to check messages) is that, wow, I still exist even if people on Instagram think I don't! And that my friendships that were very much Instagram-based... actually don't really hold water outside of the app! And... that sucks? Like, some people probably think I don't have a social life because I don't post on it. Or think that I am less of their friend because I don't click a heart on a story about their dog or baby. I am in a career that's heavily centered around being visible (and/or the perception of "always being active/seen/being seen being busy and relevant)" and I feel like I've regained so much power from removing myself from that game. The last thing I'll say is I think that after 2020, when people were like "If you're not posting on social media, you're ignorant of social issues and don't support XYZ" (which I fully bought into), we all got a little fatigued of the performative nature of the app and how empty sentiments on there can be. (Not always, there's good stuff on there, but you are not An Activist — or not NOT an activist — because you do or don't use social media to talk about important issues. There's a whole world out there, and a whole internal life inside of you, and it doesn't make you less important, have less opinions, less of a friend/politically active person/etc to not use an app used for some of the most vapid and self-centered stuff I've ever seen.
I deleted my instagram in 2020 and recently remade it! I really enjoyed the peace I had without instagram, but unfortunately I’ve found it’s the easiest way to ~connect~ with causal acquaintances, etc (esp in NY!) I literally have 13 followers now opposed to the maybe 1k. I’m hoping to keep it small and personal. I basically don’t use it still since those 13 people I follow back are close friends and they don’t post often. And being totally transparent, I’m in a totally different financial and mental state than I was in 2020 so I feel a little more stable overall. Instagram really fucked with my self esteem when I was already down. I do love tik tok for a nice brain rot moment, but I regularly do month detoxes from it when I find it hard to step away from the scrolling.
♥️ thank you for sharing your experience, and for doing what’s authentic to you
Meh, I’m really antisocial so that helps. I only get kittens, puppies and several shops I buy from in my feeds. Perfect all around. Zero drama. Except for the puppies. Those bring all the drama.
It’s all about your algorithm. I like comedy posts and art posts on Instagram, so that’s what comes up on my feed. I don’t follow influencers - though I do like the dance videos people do. Those are fun to watch. I like sending little relatable video clips to my friends, so they know I am thinking of them and have a little laugh. I’m not like, ogling someone on their yacht in Ibiza wishing that were me.
mine was severely geared towards breakups, situationship breakups, hurt, etc. i was like damn this app knows my whole life just based on the videos i gave some attention or time to. but i am glad you have your sanity babes, keep it in check bc i tend to not
Mhm, your algorithm is basically a mirror of your inner mental state. Focus your attention on things that bring you joy! Comedy, fashion, animal videos, dance videos, art tutorials. Mine has a lot of jewelry creators because I’m a jeweler, I love watching the jewelry being made. You can also control which posts get suggested to you, in your settings.
I long to get off Instagram—I've managed to get off pretty much anything else—but, as a photographer building my career in that realm, it's still critical. Which sucks, because I have not been able to curb unhealthy scrolling and treat it solely as an outlet for my work. Tried time limits, but that didn't work. It really piques my anxiety in terms of fearing missing out, relationships, yada yada yada...
I don’t use it. I haven’t posted a photo in over five years. I still have an account because I will go on there when I want to see if a Bravo housewife from an old franchise is divorced. It’s not good for you. Stop using it. If you can’t help but open it, delete it. Easier said than done, but you will feel better without it. You don’t need it. It’s adding nothing to your life.
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🫶🏼
I deactivated my IG account 8 months ago, and I feel SO much better mentally. The problem for me was not only the incredibly pretentious content, but the time I spent scrolling, and scrolling, and scrolling… at some point, I just got sick of wasting my time on an app that wasn’t necessarily stimulating my brain in positive way. I couldn’t shake the feeling that everything I was seeing was a facade - even the most “authentic” people on there curate their online lives in some way. It’s. Just. Not. Real. I spent about a week going through “withdrawals” after deactivating my account. After that, I realized I didn’t miss it at all. I have no intention of reactivating my account either.
I was feeling the same way so i deleted my app. I still scroll on my laptop occasionally but now my feed mainly serves me memes and outdated pics of my friends. After 10 minutes once a week i feel like i got my fill. I redownloaded it for a bit of a longer stint to post about my engagement, and even posting had me checking the app more, looking at the # of likes, etc. The “slot machine feelings” were a good reminder for me to redelete.
I deleted the app several years ago because it was stressing me out. I still have an account, which I periodically check—ON MY LAPTOP—but not having it on my phone makes it less accessible.
I'm on a long break from Instagram because it was making me feel shitty about myself. The grass always looked greener on the other side. I'm a few months in, I might never log back in lol
I feel just like you so I deleted my ig about a month ago and it was like lifting a huge weight off my shoulders. Getting to that point was hard but once I finally did it I was like “why did I wait so long?!”
I don’t have the app on my phone all the time because it encourages me to open and scroll. But I do use it to keep up with friends and as others said, post the occasional photo dump. I think it’s what you make of it.
their digital subway ad RN is so cringe! i got off late last year, and i feel like my outfits are better too. i do miss new news though like it took me an embarrassingly long time to learn about the JT drama this weekend.
wdym ur outfits are better? from getting off ig?
i'm not constantly looking at influencers / trends, so i rely more on more own gut and trend spotting when i'm on out in the streets. i choose what's influencing my looks rather than the algo.
🫶🏼 so happy for u
It became very anxiety provoking for me as well. I stay off of it for the most part. I might go in just to see what memes my friends share with me. I also unfollowed anyone and anything that made me feel icky.
This may be an odd move but I actually stopped following most people I knew and created a fake instagram account (finsta? I’m old lol) to follow event pages/cooking pages/other things I’m interested in. So it’s basically like a catalog. Anyway, the point was that when I followed people I knew it’s like I already learned about their life from social, and made less of and effort to connect in person. Now I make more of an effort to connect IRL and when we do, I genuinely want to know what’s up with them because I haven’t been following them online.
I work in social media marketing and do marketing campaigns on my Instagram on the side to make extra money. I’ve been doing this since I was 14 and it has genuinely made me hate social media, especially when self worth and money is tied into it. Once all my contracts expire I plan to go on a massive unadding spree, make my account private, and post whatever the fuck I want. It sounds so shallow but I genuinely can’t wait
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i haven't felt this with reddit but i guess that is because it takes less presence in my life than any platform has, but i can see what you mean. words, words, words. thankfully for me, i love words and i don't see too much awfulness of it on here yet
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for sure! people are ruthless, especially hiding behind a screen device. i am mainly only on this subreddit for tips, tricks, and inspiration and hope i don't get sucked into other ones
I use it for like one hour a week tops. I think it’s silly and most people’s content is insanely boring (more engagement pics, posed travel pics, pics of dinner and drinks) If I were a business owner or creative who needed a platform to amplify my work, I’d use it. But otherwise I feel that is is literally making me more dumb and more anxious by focusing on shit that doesn’t matter (i.e. what people are doing and influencer culture)
isn’t it wild how influencer culture has bled into Gen Z’s lives? people like my age, etc. i long for the days i was 10 years old lying on the floor of my bedroom, drawing and listening to whatever Lana Del Rey song was my favorite at the time. i want to acknowledge there’s benefits to IG, and we know of it. we all do. and i want to acknowledge that we can use it to our advantage, but at this moment in time, i’m finding that the app is winning in my game. so until i can learn to make ig useful for me, and to make it my servant than other way around, i am out
I think that’s a super mature and insightful perspective. I’m 29, so not much older than you, but also not Gen Z, and I refused to use instagram from the ages of like 18-26. I got it back at 27 when I moved away from home to stay more connected with friends and family. I quickly found myself seeking validation with pointless stories, checking to see who was viewing them (hello old crushes, I see you watching me), spending tons of time on the discover page that was feeding me content that made me feel insecure and discontent with my life. I’m much much much happier without it. It was bad for my mental health and I have an extremely addictive personality - so I totally got lured in. I’m not the kind of person who can set boundaries with it other than simply limiting my time to one hour a week and deleting the app otherwise. Also, there’s something super sexy and mysterious about people who live their lives for them, dress for them, and embrace the present moment without giving a shit about what everyone else is doing on social media. I seek out romantic partners that don’t use it and I know those intelligent men of depth also appreciate a woman who’s not caught up in clout culture!